Original subtitles

♪♪

You forgot your socks.

Well, thank you, Dulcey.

You know, I hadn't finished packing.

Are you that anxious to get away from us?

You said it, I didn't.

How can you go away for a whole week

without a single change of socks?

Well, I don't imagine the judge'll even notice.

Well, you just think of me slaving over that hot iron

and I'll think of you strutting around the hotel wearing this

and have all those ladies say...

"Look at that hayseed walking around like a peacock."

Oh, and I don't think you'll be needing this in Topeka.

If I walked the streets without that I'll feel naked.

There's only one man around here that sounds like a nightingale.

MacGregor.

Right.

Keep your eye on him while I'm gone, will ya?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, he's a grown man.

How old is grown?

No, on second thought, I think I'll look after him.

♪ A soldier bold in Halifax ♪

♪ Who dwelt in country quarters ♪

♪ Betrayed a maid who hanged herself ♪

♪ One morning with her garters ♪

♪ His wicked conscience "smited" him ♪

♪ He lost his stomach daily ♪

♪ He took to drinking ratafia ♪

♪ And thought about Miss Bailey ♪

♪ Miss Bailey, Miss Bailey ♪

♪ Unfortunate Miss Bailey ♪

♪ Miss Bailey, Miss Bailey ♪

♪ Unfortunate Miss Bailey ♪♪

Hey!

Hey, another brew for the lovely friend, barkeep.

No, another song, you handsome devil.

Aye, another pill to pirate's melancholy.

For the fairest lady in Ben Daggett's saloon.

Ruby!

What's your last name, lass?

How come you never say sweet things like that, huh?

I guess I wasn't weaned on mammy's best sorghum.

His Royal Highness is gonna

gargle us another ditty before he treats us to another round.

All right, then.

All right, if I must I must.

All right.

♪ There was a knight and he was young ♪

♪ A riding on the way sir ♪

♪ And there he met a lady fair ♪

♪ Among the bales of hay sir ♪

♪ There was a knight and he was young ♪

♪ A riding on the way sir ♪

♪ And there he met a lady fair ♪

♪ Among the bales of hay sir ♪

♪ You will go along with me ♪

♪ Unto my father's house sir ♪

♪ You shall enjoy my maiden charms ♪

♪ And my estate and all sir ♪

♪ He mounted her up on a horse ♪

♪ Himself up on another ♪

♪ And then they rode up on the road ♪

♪ Like sister and like brother ♪

♪ On the way sir ♪

♪ And there he met a lady fair ♪

♪ Among the bales of hay sir ♪

♪ And he shall you my dear lady... ♪

♪ Grant me a kiss so tiny ♪

♪ Oh no said she so modestly ♪

♪ One kiss won't satisfy me ♪

♪ One kiss won't satisfy me ♪♪

Aye, the law himself.

How be you, Marshal?

Are you ready yet to leave your perilous duties

in the lightning-quick hands of your chief deputy?

And I might add, the loudest balladeer

in the Oklahoma Territory!

A half-hour.

Half it'll be, sir.

Aye, ready, willing and able.

Don't let the marshal cramp your style, boy.

Sing out!

Aye!

♪ 'Twas a knight and he was young ♪

♪ A riding on the way sir ♪

♪ And there he met a lady fair ♪

♪ Among the bales of hay sir ♪

♪ If you will go along with me ♪

♪ Unto my father's house sir ♪

♪ You shall enjoy my maiden charms ♪

♪ And my estate and all sir ♪

♪ He mounted her up on a horse ♪

♪ Himself up on another ♪

♪ And then they rode up on the road ♪

♪ Like sister and like brother ♪

♪ There was a knight and he was young ♪

♪ A-riding on the way sir ♪

♪ And there he met a lady fair ♪

♪ Among the bales of hay sir ♪

♪ If you will go along with me ♪

♪ Unto my father's house sir ♪

♪ You shall enjoy my maiden charms ♪

♪ And my estate and all sir ♪

♪♪

♪ He mounted her up on a horse ♪

♪ Up on himself another ♪

♪ And then they rode up on the road ♪

♪ Like sister and like brother ♪♪

♪♪

Long life or a short, friend.

Your choice.

♪♪

Man: Easy, easy.

Man: Oh... you see that?

One more, one more.

Man: Steady.

My garter to your wallet, he can't bust Jake's record.

You're on, I'm flat anyway.

I'm not.

Two more and his royal highness beats my record.

Man: Easy now, easy...

all: Ohh!

MacGregor!

Ah!

Shh, a moment, lad, and I'll have it.

The marshal wants you right away.

Shh...

'Tis a world record I'm about to match.

Mac!

One more, lad, one more and I'm the "champeen."

All right, I'll just tell him you're busy then.

No you don't, no you don't.

Hold 'em until I get back, lass.

Ahh...

Ahh... duty calls.

No doubt.

You've got to have a fair maiden in mind for me to rescue.

Or a dragon or two to be slain.

I want a lawyer.

Oh, you'll get a lawyer, all right.

I'll tell ya something else.

You got the kind of face that I'm not gonna forget.

I'm gonna have you boiled in oil, old man.

False arrest, assault.

You're the one that's in trouble, boy, not me.

The knight-errant of the highlands at your service, sir.

Is that one of your deputies?

This is one trip I can't put off.

They're relying on my testimony to sort away

that Ballan gang for the next few hundred years.

And you two are all I got to keep him on ice 'til I get back.

No sooner said than done.

He's a hired gunman.

I want a name for him.

Francis, you go through that filing cabinet.

And if you find a description that fits him,

you wire me in Topeka.

I want to know who paid him to kill me.

Oh, the blaggard, I'll...

You won't do anything.

You poke food through those bars like he was a diamondback.

Now I want you two to guard him day and night.

Four on and four off.

I want him right there where I left him when I get back.

Well, we're not dunces.

Do you remember Buck O'Guilfoyle?

That was a slight miscalculation, I never intended...

Well, I don't want you falling off any more windmills.

- Never again, sir. - All right.

You can tell those lassies that their highland Casanova

is gonna be hung up for the next couple of days.

- Aye. - Hmm.

Well, better get a move on if I expect to be

in Sand Hill in the next couple of hours.

See you Saturday.

Oh, Jim...

Safe journey.

The marshal usually takes one last look around town

before he turns in.

You wanna flip for who goes and who...

No, no, you make the rounds and go to bed.

- I'll take the first watch. - Right.

Uh, shouldn't be but about an hour.

Take your time.

Laugh all you want, you hyena.

You'll not get my dander up.

That's it, have a drink.

Marshal's not here.

Boy, that man sure makes you dance to his tune, don't he?

Uh-uh-uh!

You wouldn't put them boots up there if the marshal was here.

I'll bet you have to wash your hands

before you come to supper.

All right, that's enough of that.

Daddy Marshal and little Scotty hisself.

All 200 pounds of him.

Any fool can see he treats you like a two-year-old.

All right, that's enough of that.

I don't like that kind of talk, mister.

He's my friend.

Oh, yeah, he's your friend.

Giving you orders and telling you what to do all the time.

Yeah, he's your friend.

Shut your mouth!

Why don't you shut it for me?

If you're man enough.

Ahh...

You're trying to bait me so you can make a break for it.

Well, sir, MacGregor's too clever for you.

Aye, sticks and stones may break his bones

but words will never hurt him.

How's that for a bit of rhyme from a two-year-old?

Well, if what I said wasn't true,

then why'd you get all riled up, huh?

What do you really care about that marshal, anyway, huh?

You could make yourself a nice piece of cash, boy.

All you gotta do is slip that key in this lock

and then turn your back.

My boss'll set you up any place you wanna go.

What do you say?

The love of money may be

the great passion of my life, mister.

I've been a lot of ugly things in my time.

But I've never turned on a friend, never.

And Jim Crown is just that.

And nothing less!

Aren't we dripping with sentiment tonight.

Hey, MacGregor!

MacGregor!

Where's the party?

Where's His Majesty, MacGregor?

Hey, hey.

Hey, there he is, Rube, old King Mac hisself.

Hey, boy, look alive!

Jake, Ruby, you're a sight...

Oh, we got to crying in our beer

over you having to leave the party.

So Jake and me just up and decided to bring our own little party to you.

How about that, handsome?

Aye, and any other time, lass.

But you see, I'm on duty now and...

Hey, you want a chance to win your crown back, don't you, boy?

I mean, after you left, I stacked five, didn't I, Rube?

That's right.

You don't wanna let a young buck cowboy beat you, do you?

- I told you, I can't. - Come on, handsome.

I'm on duty, the marshal...

He doesn't own you, does he?

Don't be a spoil sport, love.

You let little Ruby put this little big glass right there.

Well...

I never was a man to say no to a pretty lassie.

That's my own handsome guy talking.

Now...

- Go ahead. - Steady your nerves.

- Not while I'm on duty, lad. - Just have a sniff then...

Stand clear, you're in the lady's way.

Lady?

Ha-ha, did you hear that, Rube?

He called you a lady.

Yeah, what's the matter with that?

Ach!

Come on, have a drink.

Lay off, I don't want it.

Come on.

What's all this song and dance about duty anyhow?

Think you was a real lawman or something

instead of just a clown the marshal keeps around for laughs.

What was that?

What was that? He said something...

Shh... he's gonna beat your record, honey.

- Is that a fact? - Mm-hmm.

Well, let me see it.

- Easy... easy, handsome. - All right.

You don't wanna lose it all now.

- No, no. - Oh-ho!

Hail to the king!

Aye, I knew it.

Hey, Rube, why don't you crown him proper?

Oh.

Watch out, Mac.

Hey.

Now don't get wise, lassie.

I'm gonna shoot that winning glass

- right off the top of that stack. - No, no, no, don't.

My man would never shoot off, wouldn't you, honey?

Ain't it nice?

Hey, you... you stand still now, you hear me?

No, no, no, come away from there.

Crown him, Rube!

Oh!

Open up or I'll blow her pretty head into the next county.

I count three, she's dead.

♪♪

Now get back.

I got no quarrel with you, mister.

Jake, Jake, he tore my dress.

- And he hurt me, too. - Now, now, honey, I'm here...

Look at it, look at my dress, it's torn.

$10 dress.

All his fault.

You better do something about my dress, mister.

Come on, honey, he can't hear you anyway.

But somebody's gotta pay for it.

Come on, honey, we'll be able to fix that...

Dumb ox!

Somebody's gotta pay for my dress.

Well, send the bill to His Majesty.

♪♪

MacGregor: Oh.

Ahh.

Are you feeling any better?

Aye.

I thought I'd wake up sizzling on the devil's grill.

And here I am in the arms of an angel.

Oh, no.

Oh, it's true.

Oh, the whole ruddy nightmare.

What, MacGregor, what happened?

My prisoner... he escaped.

Oh, I didn't know.

Uh, well, I'll go find Francis

and have him telegraph Sand Hill

and have him stop Jim before he catches the train.

No!

No, no, I've done enough to him.

No.

I won't have him miss giving his testimony at that trial.

He'd never forgive me.

He'll never forgive me for this, either.

No, now Jim's not like that.

I wouldn't blame him.

Oh, aye.

What a great lump of green-eyed trouble I've been to that man.

If I were he, I would have booted me out on my ear long ago.

- Oh, no, MacGregor, you can't... - I've failed him every time

he's needed me, every ruddy time.

So a prisoner escaped.

- It's not the end of the world. - Oh, isn't it?

Ooh...

Ahh!

I can just hear the great man bellowing at me

as the walls come tumbling down.

"MacGregor, you clod, you've done it again."

Not the end of the world, she says.

Well, isn't that what you tell me

every time something goes wrong?

Oh, that's different, you're a lassie and...

You're right.

By the great wailing gulls of the Hebrides.

I'll save the day, I am the knight, too.

I'll track the blaggard and recapture him by myself.

Oh, well, uh... first let me find Francis.

No, no, no, no, no.

No, uh, this is something MacGregor has to do himself.

Well, uh, even if you find the prisoner, you're gonna...

If I fail, that will be me.

No one else, don't you see.

Well, you can't just, uh...

I have to try, Dulcey, I have to.

Well, you'll bring him back, I know you will.

I will?

Aye, I will.

I'll saddle a horse.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, where to now, Jim?

I've about used up your bag of tricks.

What now...

when the blaggard has tried to confuse me...

and succeeded all too well?

Which way, north or south?

You name it, Jim.

Ohh.

This is something MacGregor has to decide for himself.

Think... reason.

Use your well-known powers of deduction

to will out the truth.

Aye.

Aye.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Hold it!

That's far enough.

Right where you are is just fine.

I don't wanna have to take you on the run

and then put one in your belly.

'Cause you give me a fair chase

and the least I can do is give you a quick dying.

Now turn around.

Now I'm gonna hit you right in the base of the spine

so it ain't gonna hurt a bit.

Ooh!

The law, get me to the law.

I have me a wounded prisoner to take in.

He's back there in those rocks.

Not anymore, you don't.

He's dead.

♪♪

There you are, you feeling better?

That's nothing much more than a flea bite.

I cleaned it out

so it shouldn't give you any more trouble.

Aye, that's kind of you.

Sheriff?

Jack Hawkes.

Sheriff of Cedar County, Texas.

Aye.

Texas?

You didn't think you were still

in the wild Cimarron Territory, did you?

Now this is one of my deputies, Rafe Coleman.

Say howdy to the gentleman, Rafe.

Don't pay any attention to Rafe.

He's not much on talk.

A pure devil with the ladies and a gun.

Seems you're a pretty fair shot yourself, Mr. MacGregor.

You know, Rafe, he'll want his wallet back.

That is your name, isn't it, MacGregor?

Aye.

Wanna make sure we got it right for the coroner's report.

Here, wrap your lips around this.

It'll perk you up some.

Yes, sir.

That bullet of yours hit dead center.

That there fella,

he couldn't have lived more than a blink.

Maybe just long enough to know that he had been done in

by a first-rate hired gun.

Hired?

What do you...

You work for that marshal, don't you...

What's his name... Down the Cimarron way?

Marshal Jim Crown, I'm his deputy.

Jim Crown.

How come that name keeps slipping my mind, Rafe?

Well, anyway, this, uh, marshal, uh,

he's the one that told you to hunt this man down and kill him?

No, no, no, no.

You see, he escaped from the Cimarron jail, and I...

Wait a minute, you're, uh,

getting a little ahead of us, now...

He escaped from jail?

Aye.

The blaggard tried to bushwhack the marshal.

But Jim turned the tables on him and clapped him in jail.

Now, His Honor had to leave for Kansas

to give testimony against the Ballan boys.

He left me in charge.

Well, I... you see,

my assistant was bamboozled by this clever fella.

And the man escaped.

Well, I tracked him all the way here.

And I finally cornered him.

He drew first.

Pow!

Well, you know the rest.

I'd say that makes you some kind of

red, white and blue hero.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

No, just doing my duty, sir, nothing more.

Still, if you insist on bringing in the newspaper lads,

I might just regale them with a few of the details

before I start home.

Of course, I...

I, uh, I don't care about things like that myself.

But, uh, the marshal, he might get quite a kick

out of seeing his name in print.

You know?

As the boss of the man who single-handed

hunted down a desperate felon

and shot him dead in a blazing gun fight.

And then...

well, word it any way you want.

Just be sure they spell my name right.

M-A-C, not M-C.

There's some who confuse the two.

I think that we've got it right.

M-A-C Gregor

kills Luther Happ.

That was his name?

Yes, sir.

Luther Happ.

Hey...

Uh...

Gives you a kind of chill hearing the name for the first time.

Well, like it wasn't real before.

But now...

Well, the marshal will be glad to find out who he is.

Knowing Jim Crown,

he'll root out the villain who hired him.

I think we've heard enough, Rafe.

♪♪

Ah, thank you.

I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of Luther Happ,

deputy sheriff for Cedar County, Texas.

♪♪

And you will be taken with all due haste

to the county prison in Cedarville

and there hanged by the neck until you are dead.

May God have mercy on your soul.

Ahh!

The marshal knows the truth of it!

You hear? Ask him!

You can't just hang a man without...

Take your hands off me, you sons of...

Next case.

♪♪

Fabrizio, Miss Dulcey go upstairs already?

Mm-hmm, about ten minutes ago.

You better close up.

I'm going down the depot and wire the marshal.

♪♪

Hey!

I have to talk to you, it's important.

Laddie, you're in trouble.

Deep trouble.

I'm in trouble?

For fear, I can tell by your honest face

you don't know what's going on here.

Huh, what do you mean?

What's going on?

That Sheriff Hawkes and his deputy,

ah, they're cunning.

As mean a pair of connivers as I've ever seen.

And they're leading you straight down the garden path.

What are you talking about?

Laddie, I'm trying to help you.

The marshal's already on to their scurvy crimes

and he'll soon go after them.

But they'll be long gone,

leaving you holding the dirty bag.

Come on, they wouldn't...

Now listen to me, it's your only chance to save yourself.

Ride out now to Cimarron.

Find Marshal Crown and tell him I'm here.

Now he'll look kindly on...

Crown, after what he did to Luther Happ,

setting you on him?

No, no...

Luther was a fine lawman.

Just passing through your town

to pick up a prisoner in Arkansas.

And Crown tried to railroad him on a phony...

All lies the sheriff told ya.

Sheriff ought to know.

Worked for Crown as a deputy in El Paso four years back.

Told me all about him.

How he beat up innocent cowboys.

Clapped people in jail without words.

No.

Oh, a fast man with a gun.

Shoot first, ask questions later.

I know all about Crown.

Time he was stopped.

And Sheriff Hawkes is just the man to do it.

When you hang for doing his dirty work,

Crown will get the message.

Oh, laddie, you've got it all wrong.

Listen to me.

You... ha!

What was that?

Nothing.

Nothing?!

There's a girl up there, she's...

Sheriff and Rafe just bedding down another prisoner.

Hey, stop that!

Stop that right now, you hear me?!

Sheriff, Sheriff!

Hey, sheriff!

Sheriff, Sheriff!

Hey, Sheriff!

Hey, Sheriff!

Hey!

Sheriff, Sheriff, quick!

He's gone out of his head!

Let me out of here!

You better calm down, boy!

Rafe, get your tail out here!

Ahh!

That's enough!

That's enough!

Save something for the hanging.

Listen, somebody, please.

Find Marshal Crown, Cimarron.

Tell him what's happened to MacGregor.

Tell him!

You're wasting your breath, boy.

Even if these rabbits had a mind to,

they couldn't do you no good.

Before old Jim Crown could get here,

you'll be doing the highland fling

at the end of a rope.

Mr. MacGregor, I'd like you to meet Miss Sarah Lou Burke.

Now, you didn't expect to have

such charming female companionship,

did you, friend?

Now let's see you try busting out

with her hanging around your neck.

Whom Satan has joined together...

let no man put asunder.

Yes, sir.

You two were made for each other.

Both murderers

and both going to hang.

♪♪

♪♪

Marshal Crown.

Sorry to get you out while court's in session,

but this telegram just came.

Says it's urgent.

Thank you... hold on.

When is the next train south?

Not until tomorrow.

Buy you might get something out of KC this afternoon.

Thank you.

♪♪

♪♪

Hey!

Are you all right, miss?

I didn't hurt you, did I?

Aye, rough road in more ways than one.

This nemesis is having himself a jolly time.

Look, if there's anything I can do to...

Aye.

I don't blame you for being so scared you can't even talk.

If you'll take a little advice from an old swashbuckler like me

whose been in a tight spot or two in his time,

there's nothing better than the rough music of your own tongue

to chase the blues away.

Aye, lass, as long as you can talk, you know you're alive.

As long as you're alive

and there's prayer on your lips and hope in your heart,

nobody in the whole ruddy world can get you down.

Never you forget that.

Mr. McGonagle or whatever your name is.

You're a fool.

The name is MacGregor, miss.

M-A-C-G-R-E-G-O-R, with a roll to the "R."

Whoa, well, you can roll all the "R" s you want, my bucko.

You're still a fool.

That's right, rail at me, lass, if it'll make you feel better.

Sometimes a good jargon match is just what the doctor ordered

to calm a lady's nerves when the fear is under.

Fear?

Oh, mister, I haven't been afraid

since my mother delivered me and whacked the breath of life

into me before she gave up the ghost herself.

Oh, no, no.

What I meant, miss, what I meant...

Not just what we got waiting for us tomorrow morning.

But those blaggards last night, what...

What about last night?

Well, that was you crying out like...

I never cry, mister, must've been somebody else.

I can understand how you wouldn't want to talk about it.

Lovely lady like you at the mercy of...

Were you that wild man making that scene downstairs?

- Aye. - Oh...

Well...

You scared the daylights out of 'em, I'll say that for you.

Well... don't go expecting me to pin any ribbons on you for it.

You're just like them, you're all alike, all you men.

Take what you can get and the devil takes a woman.

Hold on now, lass, I won't be lumped with the likes...

You could put all the defenders of womanhood in a fairy cymbal,

you'd still have room left over for an elephant in a brass band.

Now what did I say to make...

You can just shut your mouth about last night.

For that matter, you can just shut your yap from now

until they put a rope around your neck.

Aye.

All right.

Your ladyship may not like the way I roll my "R" s...

but you'd better listen to every one of them from here on in.

Because I intend to bust out of this traveling henhouse

any ruddy moment now.

Now all that means is, I'll have to drag you along with me!

Well, listen, McGruder, or whatever your name is.

Did I say you were a fool?

I take it back... You're a looney bird.

- The name is MacGregor! - Oh.

And you'd better keep your eye on the looney bird, your ladyship.

He's about to fly.

♪ Saying fight on my merry men all ♪

♪ And see that none of you be "tain" ♪

♪ For rather the men shall say we were hanged ♪

♪ Let them report how we were slain ♪♪

All right, that's enough back there.

I can see you're not a music lover, Sheriff.

But I hear and tell you're quite

a talented bully and coward in your spare time.

I listen to the whisperings

of those other poor benighted creatures

waiting to be railroaded by your kangaroo court.

I pieced together the whole tale of how the winds

of ill fortune blew you to see the county.

Your deputy there may not even know the truth about it.

And I know the little lady will be shocked to hear.

You see, lass,

when Jim Crown took over as marshal of El Paso some years back,

he inherited Mr. Hawkes there as one of his deputies.

Aye.

You'll find it difficult to believe that such a charming gentleman as

Mr. Hawkes,

that he was on the take from every gambler and shady operator in town.

Aye.

His specialty was roughing up the people

who failed to kick in with the proper cut.

Well, it didn't take long for Marshal Crown

to strip the hide off Mr. Hawkes.

Set him in the sun for all to see.

Ah-ha-ha.

Temper, temper, Sheriff.

Lass...

you think our noble Mr. Hawkes was dismayed?

Never.

He found greener pastures,

far away from his nemesis, Marshal Crown.

You're a liar, MacGregor.

That's the reason, lass,

the only reason he's going to hang the marshal's deputy.

Because I know too much.

And so does Jim Crown.

But it won't scare the marshal off.

I'll make sure that Hawkes forgets what a coward he was

when the marshal ran him out of El Paso.

There's a stream up ahead.

Water the horses.

So, you're a lawman, too, huh?

Well, that is a new one.

The buzzards eating the buzzards.

Just watch me and then do what I say when I say it.

No man tells me what to do.

Gag your lolly, girl,

unless you just can't wait to have your pretty neck stretched

at the end of that rope.

Whoa, whoa...

All right!

Get the horses some water.

I'll sprinkle some on 'em back here

so they won't die on us before they get there.

Come on out of there.

Stretch your legs.

♪♪

Come on.

Rafe!

- All right? - Get after 'em!

♪♪

Oh!

They headed down that way, then they just...

You cut one of the horses out of the wagon.

Go back to town and get a posse.

They gotta be down that way somewhere.

Keep a sharp eye out.

♪♪

I can't go any further.

- You can! - I can't!

If you have enough breath to snap at me,

- you can still run! - My feet hurt.

So do mine.

We must have lost them by now.

We're running until we drop.

- You are a no-good... - Save your breath.

You'll need it.

♪♪

♪♪

Done enough, lass.

- I'm not done. - Well, I am.

I gave you the worst of it, didn't I, lass?

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry for me, mister.

Hey!

All right.

I'm not sorry for you.

I'm sorry I run you ragged.

No man ever runs me ragged.

I'm ready to go any time you are.

Lie down and rest.

Who are you telling to lie down?

All right, don't lie down.

I'll lie down if I feel like it.

How far is it to the Mexican border?

We're headed north, not south.

What?

- Aye. - All this time?

If we make it over those hills,

we'll be in the Cimarron and Marshal Crown will...

Think I'm some kind of dunce,

let you hand me over to some other law man?

- I'm going south. - Ah, stop it!

- Can't you see? - You want my neck in a rope?

It's my neck too

and I'm trying to save us both.

- The only way is north. - South!

- North! - South!

- North! - South!

They say I killed one man, you wanna try for two?

No, I have no intention...

Don't you ever touch me.

Oh, lass.

Oh, I'm as anxious to get rid of you

as you are of getting rid of me.

Aye.

What are you doing?

Put your hand out.

I'll get these things off if it's the last thing I do.

Oh...

Aye.

Has to be a tool rack in that barn.

And a fire.

I can get us free of each other.

Then you can go your way and I'll go mine.

♪♪

Hold it.

Rafe, you take your boys and go on over the other side of the hill.

Rest of you stay with me.

We'll comb the valley for 'em.

Start with Cal Wilson's place.

All right, come on, boys, come on.

What'd you close the door for?

Now we're as blind as bats.

Do you want someone to spy it open and know we're in here?

Your eyes get used to the dark.

I told you I couldn't see.

♪♪

♪♪

Woman: Who are you?

What are you doing here?

Well, uh...

well, you see, ma'am, we...

Speak up before I fill you full of buckshot.

Uh, well, you see, ma'am, my fella and I,

well, we were out taking a ride in the countryside

and, well, you know how it is.

We saw your barn and, uh, we just came in to get warm.

For shame.

Aye.

It wasn't the bonny lass's idea, ma'am.

No, no, I'm the one who...

I thought so.

What would your family think

if they knew you was out skylarking with the likes of him?

It'll never happen again.

And you, you leering sadeer.

You ought to be ashamed taking advantage of a little girl like that.

Uh, I was going to ask her to marry me.

A likely story.

Take your dirty hands off her.

Well, you see, ma'am, it's this way...

Oh, oh!

We're wasting time laughing.

We should be running.

Which way, north or south?

Unless you want me to go to work now.

It'll take a couple of hours at least.

Then you'll be free of me.

That's what you want, isn't it?

If we reach Cimarron, you'll be clear.

Jim Crown will see to that.

Clear?

With a murder charge hanging over me?

Ah, but you're not guilty.

How do you know?

I can feel it in my bones.

You don't know anything about me, mister.

Maybe not.

But I know I'm being railroaded by that sheriff

and I think you are too.

Don't think so hard, my bucko,

because if you knew the truth about me, it would freeze your blood.

Shh!

They're heading for the farm.

They'll pick up our trail for sure.

There's only one chance.

North.

Those hills.

Come on.

Marshal, I didn't expect you back until tomorrow...

MacGregor back?

No news.

- That stubborn Scotsman. - Jim, he's so ashamed.

I know he is, but...

I got a line on that man you brought in.

I put a name to that face.

He wasn't in the morning file,

but old Mr. Blair down at the "Gazette"

has a regular morgue of old territory papers...

Fine, Francis, come on, who is he?

- Luther Happ. - Luther Happ.

No, that name doesn't mean anything to me.

He's a deputy for some sheriff down...

Here it is, Cedar County, Texas.

Paper's about eight months old,

but there's the sheriff with some prisoner he brought in

and that's Happ, his deputy, holding the rifle.

- Jack Hawkes? - Who?

- The sheriff. - Cedar County?

Wanted in El Paso.

- By me. - The sheriff?

Saddle up two horses.

But what about MacGregor?

We get to Cedar County, we may find him there.

♪♪

I can't take much more.

Perhaps... perhaps catch us a cat nap before pushing on.

That overhang would make a windbreak.

That last hill, enough to...

Is your ankle all right?

I was afraid when you turned it we'd have to carry you from here.

I'm not a big of fluff.

Dry up and blow away with the first cold wind.

I'm a weed, mister.

Hardy.

You don't have to tell me, lass.

I've never met a lady with as much spunk as you.

Aye, and just in passing,

I can't think of any man either.

You know, you saved our necks back there in that barn.

I do believe the old biddy thought you were my girl.

- As if you... - Well, don't go getting any ideas.

Do you have to bite back all the time?

- I was just trying to... - I know what you were trying.

Oh, you are the most contrary, exasperating woman I ever met!

- Oh! - Oh, oh!

What are you doing with those leaves?

What do you think I'm doing?

I'm making a place for you to rest.

But you can be sure there's no pleasing the likes of you.

Right, so you just use those leaves yourself.

The bare ground is good enough for me.

Well, you can just stop looking at me with those big calf eyes of yours.

I know what you're thinking.

You can just put it out of your head.

I never met a man yet that wasn't a liar,

a cheat or an animal.

So don't think you can smile and sweet-talk me

and expect me to do anything more than despise you for what you are.

Look...

I wasn't thinking anything.

I wanted to do something nice for you.

That, nothing more.

♪♪

All my life...

I bragged about my way with the lasses.

But I know what I am.

No one has to shout it in my ear.

A clown.

Decked out in a funny nose and baggy pants...

for the amusement of the whole ruddy female race.

What would a lovely young lady like you

be doing in the company of a preposterous lump like me?

Oh...

you needn't worry, your ladyship.

Right now...

I'm too tired to even wink at you.

Aye.

Not so tired I can't go to work on these.

I'll have you free of me if it takes me all night.

♪♪

Well, they're holed up somewhere in them rock.

First light, we move up on 'em slow and easy.

And Satan himself have mercy on them

'cause old Jack Hawkes sure won't.

A bit more.

A wee bit.

And we'll be done with each other.

Just close my eyes for a second or two

and finish the job.

Just a second or two.

Coyote.

Oh, he won't bother you.

Probably looking for his mate.

Mac?

Mac, I want to talk to you.

Oh... go to sleep.

I hurt you before.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean you to take it to heart.

I thought you were starting to care about me and...

well, I'm not worth the tip of your hat.

Oh, a lady shouldn't talk about herself that way, lass.

I know who I am.

It's not proper to...

Don't look at me...

or I won't be able to say it.

♪♪

And don't call me a lady.

I'm half-Irish, half southern swamp rat.

Sarah Lou Burke is who I am.

Queen of the Crazy Horse Saloon

and all bars north and south of Cedar County, Texas.

I can pound an ace while I smile at you.

Sell you a piece of desert for an ancestral home.

Steal your wallet.

I've fleeced men with all tricks known to woman

and a few only known to the devil and me.

I've clawed and chewed my way through this crazy world

since I was 14 years old

and my old man up and died on me in a mining camp.

Hadn't even planted him yet

when one of his buddies called...

Uncle Willie...

crawled into the tent with a bottle in his hand

a gleam in his eye.

I snatched that bottle away from him

and I smashed it over his head.

And when he kept coming,

I jabbed the jagged end of the stump into his throat.

No Uncle Willie has ever crawled in my tent since then.

So now you know.

Woman who'd just as soon kill a man as look at him.

I don't believe you're that way at all, lass.

What do you think they're gonna put a rope around my neck for?

Murder.

Clyde Brock, owner of the Crazy Horse Saloon.

Only you didn't do it.

The sheriff and his crony in crime had a falling out.

Hawkes shot him and pinned the killing on you.

How do you know that?

Aye, because I know you, lass.

Because I know you, lass.

I've been trying to tell you that but you just don't listen.

The first lesson a lady has to learn

is that she must listen to a... gentleman.

Now just gag your lolly for a breath or two

and let me tell you the truth about yourself.

You're a courageous lassie, Sarah Burke.

I'm proud to be sharing the same handcuffs with you.

And if it's all the same with you,

we'll forget our dingy yesterdays

because if you ever got me started on my own little past peccadilloes,

we'd be up and away here now

from now 'til the cock crows.

But you know as well as me, we should be grabbing what rest we can

until we have to start running for the hills again.

Time for rest, Sarah.

Time for rest.

♪♪

Mac.

MacGregor.

♪♪

Oh.

What's all that banging?

Waking a man out of...

Why, it ain't even hardly morning yet.

- Where's the sheriff? - How should I know?

I'm the US Marshal.

Where is he?

Taking two prisoners to county seat.

Who are they?

What's their names?

I don't know.

Some crazy woman and a wild Scotchman.

Come on.

They're hanging the pair of them at noon.

♪♪

Sheriff may be on his way back before you get there.

Mac...

My pa was an old codger.

Dripping tobacco juice and dreams.

But he was the only truly kind man I've ever known...

until I met you.

♪♪

Come on, lass.

♪♪

There he is!

Flush him out, boys!

Lass...

Only one thing can save us now.

Split up.

I'll draw their fire.

Run them a hard chase in and out of those rocks.

When you see them go after me,

you cut over that hill and head north.

You can't make it, I won't leave you.

- You have to. - No.

I'll make it.

You'll see.

I'll meet you somewhere in those woods heading north to Cimarron.

- That's a promise. - You're just saying that.

No, that's how little you know me, lass.

I have more lives than a cat.

If there's anything better than having a breeding mind,

it's having dumb luck.

And I have more than my share of that.

Now do what I say.

I can't.

Please?

For me?

Good girl.

Bye, MacGregor.

There he goes!

Over the ridge!

♪♪

- MacGregor! - Mac.

Come on, get on, let's go!

All right, hold it.

Don't even clear your throat.

All right, get 'em up.

Slow and easy.

You listen, mister, and listen real good.

I'm a US Marshal.

Jim Crown!

Well!

You never know where you're gonna run into old friends.

Hey, you, uh,

lost a little weight, ain't you, Jimbo?

You been working too hard?

This man is Mr. MacGregor.

My deputy.

He's an escaped killer.

Convicted legal, gonna hang legal.

You stand in the way of the law, Jimbo,

and Rafe up there's gonna have to, uh...

Any man lifts a gun against me or one of my deputies

will face a federal prosecution.

Ha.

They don't seem to be listening to you, Jimbo.

They know who's calling the tune around here.

I'm the law.

You're nothing.

You're a stranger obstructing justice.

These men here got every right in the world to shoot you dead.

This time, Jimbo...

I'm calling you out.

Sarah: Sheriff!

I'm giving myself up.

You tell your men to back off!

Hold your fire!

That's better.

Let 'em ride out.

You're coming along too, Jack.

So we can chew the fat about old time.

♪♪

Are you all right, lass?

Oh, MacGregor.

♪♪

Whoa!

Stage has arrived.

Sarah!

Sarah: Coming.

- I forgot the parasol... - I'll get it for you.

Come on.

I swear, I would be late for my own funeral.

We specialize in feeding weary travelers.

Oh, Dulcey.

Oh, it's just sandwiches.

I wish you didn't have to be going.

Well, I do too.

But then this is something I've been promising myself for a dozen years.

Well, when you come back, you know where your home is.

That's lovely.

Marshal, well, I want to thank you for everything you've done for me.

Judge Parker, he did it.

I'll just take a few of his bows.

Where's Mac?

There was something he had to do.

Sorry to rush you, but we're behind schedule as is.

We're coming along.

♪♪

For you, lass.

I just cashed a bank draft for $250.

That dumb MacGregor luck I was telling you about,

the reward money for the captured dead or alive of Luther Happ.

Wanted for murder and extortion

in the northern province of Montana.

Go on, take it.

I can't.

Look, look...

if you're going all the way to Colorado

to pay your respects to your pa's grave,

this will buy a very grand cutting stone.

I can't.

Perhaps a favorite quotation of his from, uh...

Like, "Gold is where you find it," huh?

Ah, you loved him, lass.

Aye.

And I love you, MacGregor.

For that wild, romantic gesture.

But I can't take it.

Of course you can.

You already gave me what I need.

I know who I am now.

Sarah Lou Burke.

And what else?

Say it, lass.

A lady.

Loud and clear.

A lady.

Marshal.

They're waiting on you, Sarah.

Uh, Sarah, uh...

Mac.

No, it's all been said.

Besides, it's not goodbye.

Who knows, someday maybe you'll come riding over a hill

and there I'll be.

Like my pa used to say,

"Big as life and twice as sassy."

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪