Original subtitles

Oh my goodness, I have an idea.

See how this would line up?

Tell me what you mean by that!

Now don't stop just because i'm watching

Everything okay over there

Yes yes

Oh, my God.

No...

I can't do it anymore!!

Oh, my God.

You good?

Yeah

Still thinking about that thing from earlier

I...

...I don't know if i really want to talk about it

We just had sex

It's nice to be with you

And just..don' t wanna upset anything

Don'' make anything more complicated

I don't know.

What if we did talk about it?

Maybe, uh...

maybe we could talk about it

Maybe be a little more open

Really

Because

Well first

It doesn' t have anything to do with how

I feel about you.

Just...

...I miss feeling close and connected to you,

and maybe we're just really used

To each other

You know?

And maybe

It would be fun

..to

Come home with new experiences

Get

Inspire each other a little bit

Maybe

That woulda been good for us

Yeah

Yeah, I mean...

You know?

Like Casey's.

Pretty attractive

That is so funny that you are talking about her

because we're supposed to hang out later

and i was just gonna talk to her about this

Because she has been doing the open thing for a while

And she seems pretty happy

I think it could be fun.

You know, i just really care about

you know just her relationship

but never wanted to do anything that affected

But at the end of the day

id wanna make sure tha we're both happy

and like a said

more open minded

so lets see where goes

Yeah, and how about this?

The second that one of us is unhappy

We stop

Yeah. Works for me

Okay

Yeah

Thank you

Yea

That's it

Um, we got coffee and pie.

And I hugged Pai and that was it!

Thrilling...

Yeah

Well i have a story for you

Is is better than mine?

Only slightly

But do need to talk to you about because

l really don't know what make of

Okay

Just kind want balance off

Go for

Am excited

Think its good

Okay

So

So I'm in bed with Seth this morning, and everything's good.

We just had sex but you know when we've been having sex

it just felt like so disconnected

and like the same thing over

And over again

It is fine

i am not complaining

He was wonderful

But he can tell that

Is bored

You can tell

Because all day long

I'm like laying there with my vibrator and he's watching porn.

And, you know whatever he needs to do is fine

and i am happy about that but it just isn't enough for me right now

So we started talking about opening up the relationship

Yeah

Just because things have been so routine

We've talked about other girls from time-to time

It has always been something that both of us have talked

But if you'll remember, the last time that we had this discussion

Seth freaked out and he was like really uncomfortable

with the idea of me being in other relationships.

And I was like well...

...I don't really need that

kind just want to have experiences with other people

If anything i feel like

He would need

You know

To have some sort emotional connection

With someone

And

Don' t really get jealous

I can't see him out there with anybody in particular anyway,

other than girls that he has a crush on here and there.

But to my surprise he was like...

No! l really want try that

''I think it's great idea

and am excited about how your night goes

who would you see?''

And i have no idea but

But I think it could be a really good idea.

Of course,

i'm worried about him just wanting to go bang people

like

It'd be easier

if

If

somebody that

knew

but

im more focused on who

want

bang

Im glad we're talking

about this

because

because I got a really different text message from Seth earlier today.

And it makes sense now

Hold on

Seth said this

Tori and me are trying some new things

Wondering if you would like to come over and have dinner with me

I've always wanted to hang out, just the two of us.

—I knew he wanted to bang you!

—You know that's not my type...

It felt very out-of the blue so

at least it wasn'texting me without

having this conversation because

No no i'm just really fast

we talked about this morning

But that's good, I'm happy it would be you because we're such good friends.

Nothing would get weird and we don't have to worry about anything

Yeah...I mean if it is okay with you

...i am totally down go have some fun with him

but..

..but....

between us

No

You can say no

I don'think it would be weird at all.

Like, it's like you said...

...I don' really think he is your type so

...it'd fun for you to go in and

..really boss him around

Yeah

You can totally see him just being super intimidating about

Being super shy

Yeah

Because already blushes anytime

He sees your presence

Clearly

It was wanted this for a long time

Okay more importantly

Who are going have dinner with?

I've been dying to have dinner with someone.

Just don't know who, um...

God that's a good question

You have options

Kinda wanna make my boss

You know?

Like i kinda have thing for real macho man in charge

Which is not Seth

Not lately anyway

Um you should text your boss

I think maybe i should take a sexy picture first.

And that green lingerie?

Don't know if remember the green lingerie

Yeah, let's go

Let' s actually go

Look at this

Okay cool

We can figure out what you are going to wear too

Jesus

Seth really likes green

On that dress

Yes

Yes.

Really? Is it about you?!

Yeah, that one is but yeah...

But doesn't go as far as the short one

Yeah

That's all I know

Your girlfriend is a musician huh

Yeah

That was about right

Yeah.

Yeah, I um...

This is our place so

You've been here before haven't you?

Yeah a lot of times

Remember when you guys moved in here

That's right

Sorry but just don' t know what i'm doing her

So

It''s okay

Hey

Are nervous

Yes that would be proper terminology

for what I feel right now.

Stay right there, keep breathing!

That's nice

Your heart is racing?

Yeah that...

How about my smart watch

how fast it is going

You don't have to impress me you know

I know, i think...

...I don't know how to say this but

...i've had a crush on you for awhile

so that's probably why im more nervous than

...should be

Yeah

yeah?

yeah you have had crush on me

You're saying it now out loud, so it makes even more awkward!

What would you do if I said

that's how much of a crush on you?

Really?!

Mhm

That is awesome

So...

what we'll be doing now

Is to kiss you

Is that okay?

Yeah.

You can, yeah you can touch me

Go ahead

Stand up

It's okay

Do you wanna go to the sofa

Yeah, okay.

Let's go

Have a seat

Relax

I got this

Does that feel good?

Yeah

Why don't you take this off for me

Okay

Get these out of the way

It'so good.

Yeah, it really is!

I'll give you both some

That feels okay

Yeah that feels great

Okay...I kind of like how nervous you are

But its fun

oh fuck

ah yes

it tastes really good

It's okay, it'll be fine...

I know you can take my dress off.

It's tight, just pull it down

Oh, yeah.

There you go

Come and sit on it

You can'touch me, I promise. It's okay

I'm going to do it.

It's a little hard, isn't it?

F**k

Can I touch your face?

Yes

Oh my god

Oh, shit.

And I see you know what you're doing

Yes

Yeah yeah we can

Oh, shit.

Yes!

Oh my god...

My god

You can do it

Fuck

Ah yes

Oh, I like that. That feels really good!

Oh shit...

Fuck

Shit

Fuck

Yes

Oh, my God.

Yes!

F**k

You're so deep

Oh My god

This is it

OMG

I'm so tired.

I can't do it anymore

Oh, my God.

Damn it!

I'm sorry for you

Oh, fuck.

Oh fuck...

Yes!

Shit

The fuck?

Yeah

I can't believe it's over.

Oh, my God.

My god!

Yes

oh..my god

OH MY GOD

OMG

Oh, fuck yes.

Fuck!

Oh yes...

oh my god

Yeah get back on me again

My God

Ah shit

Oh my god.

Oh, my God.

It's all right!

Yeah?

Are you hurt?!

Shit...

Oh, my God!

Thank you

Oh, fuck.

No! Shit... shit

Oh, shit!

Yes...

Shit

Oh, my God.

Oh no!

Come on

Oh, oh yes.

My God

Ah..yes

Yeah

Oh my god.

Kiss me, oh my god!

Oh, oh shit.

Oh my god

Yes

Yes, oh my god.

Yeah?

Oh my god!

OMG

Yes, yes.

Oh shit!

Oh my god...

Fuck

Yeah

It's okay, it was just a dream

You're not supposed to wake up in the middle of the night

It was just...

A dream

Did we have dinner together

Yeah

It went good, yeah it was good.

How? Good how ?

The food was good and then we you know did things

And do you think that you still have enough energy to

Do things with me

Of course babe

Hold on a second.

Yeah?

Okay, hold on!

I just...

Just hold one second and get it right there

Let me spit

Spit

Is there anything else you need to know about this case

Is there anything I can do?

Just hold on.

Let me just...

Hey, yesterday was fun

It's okay

No no it is fine

No i gotta

Its ok

its okay

Im fine

Just give a second

Ok

Okay.

Now I can't do it, like...

It's really okay?

l-I can imagine the last time you had a day

like you did today so um

it' s okay don t worry about

But maybe

You could tell me about your night

and what you guys did

Really that sounds weird

Do u really wanna know

Well, yeah. I need something you can tell me while i masturbate

Um...I just don't know

It's just like..

Please please

Just tell me about everything that you did

Tell all about how many times have made her come

Um, so were... I was like on the computer? No. Sorry this is too much

Um..I was on a piano and she got awkward at first but then she started touching me

Okay. Um...

So, she started to ride me and um

First it was a little awkward but then like

She would take control so I grabbed her

Like what?

Like really hard like that

And she liked that one

Grabbed her really hard

And then I was doing that, and then

just started feeling her body.

Just fucking hurt a little harder and harder...

Did she like it?

Yeah she really liked it

She came after jus the few minutes

for the first time

Then spun around

Got on top of he

Then

Just kept pumping into

Her more

Rubbing that clip

She came again

And then, she did it again

Yeah...

And then i laid her down on the side and grabbed really tight like this

Then just started going really hard

She came back again

It was hot

She kept coming

Then turn around

She turned around on her back, looked in the eyes and then she came again while I was looking at her.

It's like there was a fly on that wall

Communication is most important thing

You can't have good relationship with someone

or not without good communication.

Specifically instances like what we're shooting today,

it's evident to me that even when you're talking

about any sort of non-monogamous relationship

you are talking about developing other relationships

and so this idea that polyamory is

to have other relationships and it's different from just being open never really computed for me

because I really think that communication is essential in every relationship, any relationship

and if its absent the relationship its absent.

The hardest part for people

for any of this type communication

we all have made agreements with ourselves

so long thats hard

I think it's important for people to get vulnerable and actually have real conversations because they can't be real with themselves.

So if you can become vulnerable and being real with yourself, it is easier for your partner

And that really very difficult a lot of people so work on yourself

Work out becoming more vulnerable with yourself

Definitely

Definitely, and I think there is just a really important element of being an ethical partner

in that if you are not communicating

If you did not explicitly get told

Yes.I want you to wake me up with sex

Then we're talking about anything consensual either

Beyond the bounds having healthy communication

And giving each other what they want

You have to have consent in every relationship for it to be an ethical relationship.

And avoid things like taking somebody for granted or taking advantage of what you just assume that

you have with somebody and it protects as well from being disappointed if I don't say,

Seth!I really like this but how is Seth supposed know thats what Im waiting him do?

You know, it's just you got to let each other know

and you have be comfortable letting each other

what you want or your not going get it.

The most beautiful thing about being polyamorous

Or non-monogamous is the ability

To adjust boundaries in relationships

As the relationships grow and develop

Because point of a relationship

Is growing together

And sometimes that happens

Sometimes we grow apart

And the thing that you get with using tools provided by things like polyamory

is the ability to say,

this once was working for me this way and it's not now.

Instead of ending the relationship

there it a platform

adjust your boundaries

and be open

how your partner needs too

Now thats all said in

the most ideal way. Jealousy is a thing, it will always be

A thing for some people it's

bigger thing than

It Is for others and my line

Is when you start to treat me differently because of how

You're letting your emotions dictate your actions

I might

Be jealous

I might be jealous that you're giving her the kind of sex

that i've been waiting for you to give me.

But maybe,

haven't communicated that

Maybe

im too distracted by what

your doing

To go get wha

need

Im a whole lot

Of person

And its

A lo

Too expect out

someone

Be able

Give

Me

Everything

That

Need

All

Time

and

Say

Its

pretty

much

impossible

T

At

Being

Said

Iv

Gone

From

Open

Relationships

Relations

Where

More

Monogamous

and would still identify my relationship status as non-monogamous,

you can turn it on and off.

There's not a rule that says it has to be one way or the other

And so when you're talking about these issues of jealousy

trust

Not snooping through somebody life

becoming obsessed with what they are doing

You have remember

Remember that nobody is personally attacking you by feeling happy with somebody else.

You should be happy that somebody else makes the person you love, happy and if that makes

your insecure then have to prepare yourself and communicate honestly even if don't like

saying it what are going through?

So that's the only way to navigate jealousy and get comfortable being jealous.

Deal with it and let it pass before you make an irrational, selfish decision

If you are wanting

To engage in some form of non-monogamy or polyamory

Or swinging

Whatever kind structure

You want your partner

You have to communicate, you have to make the time

To talk about the things that make you comfortable

Your have take a time

Talk about things that makes me feel jealousy

And feel envy and other negative emotions

Your has communicate all of these things

For your partner so they can grow together

It's not just like

Oh yeah I like it when touch my

Like this

About communicating things

That are deeper inside as well

And i think especially

Communicating thing

like boundaries in a healthy way,

understanding what that boundary is

and that it is not the tool to limit your partner.

It's the tool to keep somebody you love

and your life

And when

You conflict with

chains binding somebody

on what they're allowed

do

you are out of relationship

its no there anymore

can'tell somebody

who loves

I can

What am

Do

don'

own

partners

You don't get to make the decisions for them.

And if you find yourself in a situation

where you are obsessing over somebody else's life

or you are so bothered by what they're doing

that can do anything else,

it only gets worse!

Stop...

There is no reason

hurt each other over anything

This is supposed

be learning how

co-exist with people around

and flourish in the relationships

that are going to get you through life.

It's really important

to keep the bigger picture at

forefront of your mind,

which is that you love

person trying

keeping your life boundaries

are a good thing

and communication

is only way

establish healthy relationships

Thank You for watching The S-List

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