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1
00:00:34,636 --> 00:00:36,693
(FAINT WILDLIFE SOUNDS)
2
00:01:13,524 --> 00:01:15,526
(LATIN MUSIC PLAYING)
3
00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:46,326
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
4
00:02:32,725 --> 00:02:34,758
(BEEPS)
5
00:03:10,826 --> 00:03:12,836
(SIGHS)
6
00:03:20,841 --> 00:03:22,925
(MUSIC STOPS)
7
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:50,878
- Hey, Lucky, how you doing?
- You're nothing.
8
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,012
You're nothing.
9
00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:54,924
LUCKY: Thank you.
10
00:05:00,325 --> 00:05:03,013
- Good morning, sweetheart.
- Hi, doll.
11
00:05:03,093 --> 00:05:06,725
Plenty of cream and sugar,
just like you like it.
12
00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:13,590
Perfect.
13
00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,945
JOE: Lucky!
14
00:05:21,624 --> 00:05:23,079
Oh, God.
15
00:05:23,158 --> 00:05:26,359
- Those things are gonna kill you.
- If they could've, they would've.
16
00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,086
(COUGHS)
17
00:06:10,525 --> 00:06:13,443
- LORETTA: All right, see you.
- Oh, okay.
18
00:06:13,523 --> 00:06:15,926
Bye, Lucky. See you, Joe.
19
00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:18,365
JOE: What you stuck on now?
20
00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:21,804
Uh...
21
00:06:21,984 --> 00:06:24,466
...seven-letter word for augur...
22
00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:27,544
...A-U-G-U-R.
23
00:06:32,657 --> 00:06:34,478
I know.
24
00:06:34,558 --> 00:06:36,277
Go on, honey.
25
00:06:36,357 --> 00:06:37,645
Portend.
26
00:06:37,725 --> 00:06:40,835
Portend. P-O-R-T-E-N-D.
27
00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:43,078
LUCKY: That's it. Thank you, dear.
28
00:06:43,158 --> 00:06:44,970
JOE: Give me that.
29
00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,278
Well, this is easy.
30
00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:50,479
I mean, what you gonna do
when you get the Sunday puzzle?
31
00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:52,747
PAM: Give me another.
32
00:06:54,524 --> 00:06:56,044
All right...
33
00:06:56,124 --> 00:07:00,344
...a three-letter word
for asshole starting with a "J"?
34
00:07:00,424 --> 00:07:02,111
(PAM CHUCKLES)
35
00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:03,781
JOE: Clever.
36
00:07:04,539 --> 00:07:06,359
Very clever.
37
00:07:17,258 --> 00:07:19,291
(HORN HONKING)
38
00:07:57,492 --> 00:07:59,512
(POWER TOOLS WHIRRING)
39
00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:14,957
Cunts!
40
00:08:23,258 --> 00:08:26,724
- Buenos días, Lucky.
- Buenos días.
41
00:08:52,191 --> 00:08:55,297
- How are you today?
- So far, so good.
42
00:08:58,292 --> 00:09:01,985
- Who's that again?
- BIBI: That's my youngest son, Juan.
43
00:09:02,065 --> 00:09:04,878
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's John in English.
44
00:09:05,558 --> 00:09:08,557
Like John Wayne. Juan Wayne.
45
00:09:09,324 --> 00:09:11,612
He's gonna be ten on Saturday.
46
00:09:11,692 --> 00:09:14,381
- Oh, that's great.
- It's his birthday.
47
00:09:15,358 --> 00:09:17,644
Well, I gotta go. My shows are on.
48
00:09:27,158 --> 00:09:29,110
Juan Wayne.
49
00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:31,057
BIBI: Juan Wayne.
50
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:37,078
HOST: (OVER TV)
Go ahead and tell us about yourself.
51
00:09:37,158 --> 00:09:39,830
CONTESTANT 1: Hi, I'm Stephanie Moreno!
I'm from Pueblo, Colorado...
52
00:09:39,909 --> 00:09:42,278
...and I'm here to make some money!
53
00:09:42,358 --> 00:09:44,400
CONTESTANT 2:
Hi, I'm David Mulbec. I'm from Chicago...
54
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,945
...and I'm here to make some money!
55
00:09:47,825 --> 00:09:50,135
CONTESTANT 3: Hi, I'm Marlene Moscavitz,
Ann Arbor, Michigan...
56
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,424
...and I'm here to make some money!
57
00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:57,055
HOST: Join us and find out who's gonna
walk away with a brand, new car...
58
00:09:57,135 --> 00:09:59,145
...on, Take a Guess.
59
00:09:59,924 --> 00:10:02,311
(OVER TV) Have you been turned down
for life insurance? If you are...
60
00:10:02,391 --> 00:10:06,418
- They always yell at ya.
- ...you can obtain full-term li...
61
00:10:18,991 --> 00:10:20,824
Oh, shit.
62
00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,691
Is realism a thing?
63
00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:49,277
Okay, so it's a thing, huh?
64
00:10:49,757 --> 00:10:53,358
All right, and that's, uh, seven letters.
65
00:10:55,492 --> 00:10:57,121
Hold on a minute.
66
00:11:09,424 --> 00:11:11,244
Okay.
67
00:11:11,324 --> 00:11:13,325
"Realism, noun."
68
00:11:13,691 --> 00:11:18,423
"The attitude or practice
of accepting a situation as it is...
69
00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:22,590
...and being prepared
to deal with it accordingly."
70
00:11:23,624 --> 00:11:25,591
Now the other one.
71
00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:30,210
"The quality or fact representing
a person, thing...
72
00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,539
...or situation accurately...
73
00:11:32,619 --> 00:11:36,872
...or in a way that is true to life.
74
00:11:46,658 --> 00:11:49,344
I always thought
that what we all agreed on...
75
00:11:49,424 --> 00:11:52,312
...was what we were looking at,
but that's bullshit...
76
00:11:52,392 --> 00:11:55,657
...because what I see
is not necessarily what you see.
77
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:02,425
Realism.
78
00:12:03,692 --> 00:12:06,851
R-E-A...
79
00:12:06,931 --> 00:12:08,944
...L-I...
80
00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:11,464
That's it. That's some heavy shit.
81
00:12:13,224 --> 00:12:15,257
She's gonna blow it.
82
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:19,811
CONTESTANT 2: The Dark Ages?
83
00:12:19,891 --> 00:12:23,690
HOST: (OVER TV) No, I'm sorry. The answer
you're looking for is "the Renaissance."
84
00:12:24,557 --> 00:12:28,224
You blew it, honey.
There goes your fucking Buick.
85
00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:31,623
(TV CLICKS OFF)
86
00:12:33,307 --> 00:12:37,120
Okay, pal. Goodbye, I'll talk to you later.
87
00:12:50,991 --> 00:12:54,325
ELAINE: Now you know me,
I don't like to cause a scene.
88
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:57,878
Hey, fuck you, I don't.
89
00:12:58,358 --> 00:13:01,798
So that night, I decided to have
a coming-to-God meeting.
90
00:13:01,878 --> 00:13:05,412
I locked the front door and sent
everybody back into the kitchen.
91
00:13:05,492 --> 00:13:09,662
Took down my Saturday Night
Special over there. And I said, "Gentlemen...
92
00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:13,086
...if you want to fuck me,
and I know you do...
93
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,499
...you should buy me dinner first."
94
00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:18,403
Then I drew that peace-maker...
(MAKES SHOOTING SOUNDS)
95
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:22,524
...two rounds in the ceiling and I said...
96
00:13:23,525 --> 00:13:25,488
"...I know...
97
00:13:25,568 --> 00:13:29,472
...that all of you are stealing from me.
98
00:13:31,924 --> 00:13:35,558
Just don't get greedy."
99
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:40,144
And I've been in the black ever since.
100
00:13:40,524 --> 00:13:41,845
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)
101
00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:45,544
I see her standing there,
the room was filled with gun smoke.
102
00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:48,911
And everyone's just shitting
their goddamn pants.
103
00:13:49,351 --> 00:13:51,624
I tell you, the sexiest thing I'd ever seen.
104
00:13:51,704 --> 00:13:54,512
I wooed him with my feminine charm.
105
00:13:54,591 --> 00:13:57,124
PAULIE: Nothing but class with this one.
106
00:13:57,758 --> 00:13:59,512
Charmed.
107
00:13:59,591 --> 00:14:02,024
ELAINE: You were good to Momma last night.
108
00:14:02,492 --> 00:14:04,994
Lucky! Bloody Maria?
109
00:14:05,074 --> 00:14:06,960
Por favor.
110
00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,444
- Lucky!
- Hey, Paulie.
111
00:14:09,524 --> 00:14:11,357
What's the good word?
112
00:14:12,425 --> 00:14:15,178
Realism is a thing.
113
00:14:15,258 --> 00:14:17,378
Oh, yeah? How do you mean?
114
00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:21,268
It's the practice of accepting a situation...
115
00:14:21,348 --> 00:14:23,244
...as it is...
116
00:14:23,457 --> 00:14:28,311
...and being prepared
to deal with it accordingly.
117
00:14:28,391 --> 00:14:32,388
So what you're saying is,
"What you see is what you get."
118
00:14:32,468 --> 00:14:35,643
But what you see is not what I get.
119
00:14:35,723 --> 00:14:37,257
PAULIE: Okay.
120
00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:44,044
- LUCKY: Elaine!
- What?
121
00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:46,619
LUCKY: Realism is a thing.
122
00:14:46,699 --> 00:14:48,747
- What?
- Realism.
123
00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:50,297
PAULIE: Here we go again.
124
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:54,077
Vincent, hand me my gun.
125
00:14:54,556 --> 00:14:58,224
Easy, partner. You're a misdemeanor
fucking with a felony.
126
00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,145
Hey, Howard.
127
00:15:08,225 --> 00:15:11,691
- VINCENT: Howie, what are you drinking?
- Something strong.
128
00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:15,545
What's the matter, Howard?
129
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:19,902
- President Roosevelt escaped.
- PAULIE: What are you talking about?
130
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:22,550
- LUCKY: Presidents.
- Which one?
131
00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,444
- Roosevelt.
- Yeah, which one?
132
00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:28,643
No, my tortoise,
President Roosevelt, he escaped.
133
00:15:28,723 --> 00:15:31,377
How does a hundred-year-old tortoise escape?
134
00:15:31,457 --> 00:15:34,010
I left the gate open
when I went to check the mail.
135
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:36,757
Where is your mailbox, Europe?
136
00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,511
(ALL LAUGHING)
137
00:15:38,591 --> 00:15:40,991
I saw him eyeing that gate the other day.
138
00:15:41,737 --> 00:15:44,144
He had to have timed it out perfectly.
139
00:15:44,224 --> 00:15:46,311
I searched our entire neighborhood.
140
00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:48,824
Did you search your entire yard?
141
00:15:49,191 --> 00:15:51,880
Hey, we're talking about
his best friend here!
142
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,945
- Thank you, Lucky.
- You're welcome, Howard.
143
00:15:55,025 --> 00:15:58,090
You're right, you're right, I'm sorry.
We shouldn't make fun.
144
00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:03,556
I'm gonna miss him.
He's outlived two of my wives.
145
00:16:05,292 --> 00:16:08,325
- I'm going to the W.C.
- Okay, pal.
146
00:16:09,957 --> 00:16:11,724
You know...
147
00:16:12,164 --> 00:16:15,776
...friendship between animals and humans...
148
00:16:15,856 --> 00:16:18,867
...is essential and special.
149
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,823
And friendship is essential to the soul.
150
00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:26,345
What?
151
00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:29,544
Friendship is essential to the soul.
152
00:16:29,624 --> 00:16:31,623
It doesn't exist!
153
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:34,500
- What, friendship?
- (LOUDLY) The soul!
154
00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:37,823
Hey, knucklehead, inside voices!
155
00:16:38,324 --> 00:16:40,840
Hey, you gonna let your woman
talk to me that way?
156
00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,745
I'm not his woman. He's my man.
157
00:16:44,424 --> 00:16:48,176
As far as I'm concerned, he's just
been renting a room for 30 years.
158
00:16:49,025 --> 00:16:51,945
- Sonny and Cher.
- ELAINE: I'll drink to that.
159
00:16:52,025 --> 00:16:54,643
PAULIE: Hey, you know they got divorced.
160
00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,924
ELAINE: Good thing we never got married.
161
00:18:14,924 --> 00:18:17,490
- (LOUD THUD)
- (CERAMIC SHATTERS)
162
00:18:24,356 --> 00:18:26,411
(LUCKY MOANS)
163
00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,824
LUCKY: Jesus Christ.
164
00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,758
(SNEEZING, COUGHING)
165
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:57,523
Jesus! God, this thing.
166
00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:01,124
Can you... never mind.
167
00:19:03,657 --> 00:19:06,723
Oh, God. Oh, God.
168
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,389
Oh, God.
169
00:19:11,557 --> 00:19:13,025
Why?
170
00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:19,012
- Hey, buddy. How the hell are you doing?
- You tell me.
171
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,578
115 over 70, great.
172
00:19:25,658 --> 00:19:27,543
Thank you, Debbie.
173
00:19:32,324 --> 00:19:34,811
No broken bones. That's good.
174
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,811
CT scan was negative, no sign of concussion.
175
00:19:39,191 --> 00:19:42,376
Blood pressure is good, heart is great.
176
00:19:42,456 --> 00:19:44,828
Lungs are great, even though you smoke.
177
00:19:44,908 --> 00:19:48,170
- How many packs a day?
- I don't know, maybe one.
178
00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:50,823
Well, I really have no explanation for that.
179
00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:54,376
It's a mystery,
some sort of scientific anomaly.
180
00:19:54,456 --> 00:19:57,342
All I can figure is it's a combination
of genetic good luck...
181
00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:59,311
...and you're one tough son of a bitch.
182
00:19:59,391 --> 00:20:01,344
I would try to get you to quit smoking...
183
00:20:01,424 --> 00:20:03,878
...but I'm afraid it would
do you more harm than good.
184
00:20:03,958 --> 00:20:06,257
You're the only person I would say that to.
185
00:20:07,357 --> 00:20:09,210
So, that's it?
186
00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:11,152
To be clear...
187
00:20:11,604 --> 00:20:13,807
...you were just standing there
and you got light-headed?
188
00:20:13,887 --> 00:20:16,476
- I didn't get light-headed.
- So you just fell down?
189
00:20:16,556 --> 00:20:18,931
Yeah. It was weird.
190
00:20:20,724 --> 00:20:22,017
Well...
191
00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:25,950
...I'll wait for these lab tests to come back
and then I'll let you know about that.
192
00:20:26,991 --> 00:20:28,806
That's it?
193
00:20:28,886 --> 00:20:31,376
- That's it.
- I'm not dying?
194
00:20:31,456 --> 00:20:34,590
When it comes to most things like
heart disease or cancer, at your age...
195
00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:37,511
- ...if it was gonna kill you, it would've.
- So?
196
00:20:37,591 --> 00:20:41,045
Short of shooting you with a silver bullet
or stabbing you with a wooden stake...
197
00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:44,832
...it seems the older you get,
the longer you're gonna live.
198
00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:47,228
So, but why did I fall down?
199
00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,877
- Were you drunk?
- No.
200
00:20:50,957 --> 00:20:54,583
- Do you get light-headed often?
- I don't get light-headed.
201
00:20:54,663 --> 00:20:58,210
- Now do you get much exercise?
- Yeah, I walk around all the time.
202
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:03,474
I do five yoga exercises every day,
twenty-one repetitions each, for years.
203
00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,623
- Do your knees ever give out?
- No.
204
00:21:09,657 --> 00:21:12,310
I could do a lot more tests,
but I think it's gonna turn out to be...
205
00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:15,258
- ...exactly what I think it is.
- What's that?
206
00:21:15,338 --> 00:21:18,544
You're old, and you're getting older.
207
00:21:18,624 --> 00:21:21,300
- That's your diagnosis?
- It's all I got.
208
00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,810
Well, that's bullshit.
209
00:21:24,757 --> 00:21:27,277
The body is gonna break down at some point.
210
00:21:27,357 --> 00:21:30,710
As far as I know, nobody has lived forever.
It's gonna happen to all of us.
211
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:35,310
I can do more tests, but I don't want to
do that and you don't want to have it done.
212
00:21:35,390 --> 00:21:38,222
So what am I supposed to do?
213
00:21:38,556 --> 00:21:41,344
At this point,
I think it might be a good idea...
214
00:21:41,424 --> 00:21:43,701
...to get an assisted
living person hooked up.
215
00:21:43,781 --> 00:21:45,670
- What?
- Assisted living.
216
00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,945
They come by and they help you
cook meals, help you bathe.
217
00:21:49,025 --> 00:21:51,711
Oh, I don't know, I'm on my own.
218
00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:54,143
You never get lonely being alone?
219
00:21:54,223 --> 00:21:58,470
There is a difference between
being lonely and alone.
220
00:22:00,091 --> 00:22:02,744
You know, I saw this happen with my father.
221
00:22:03,024 --> 00:22:06,444
He started to lose his eyesight,
and with it his ability to drive.
222
00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:10,812
It wasn't getting older that bothered him,
it was the loss of his freedom, his mobility.
223
00:22:11,291 --> 00:22:15,111
It's all fine as long as you realize
it's all part of the process.
224
00:22:17,157 --> 00:22:18,977
Well, how is your old man?
225
00:22:19,057 --> 00:22:21,856
Oh, buddy, he died a year ago.
226
00:22:23,243 --> 00:22:24,791
Wow.
227
00:22:26,691 --> 00:22:28,491
It was peaceful.
228
00:22:34,423 --> 00:22:36,276
You know, most people
don't get to where you are.
229
00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:39,076
They get hit by a bus
or get leukemia or something.
230
00:22:39,156 --> 00:22:42,144
They never get to the moment
that you're in right now.
231
00:22:42,224 --> 00:22:45,737
We have the ability to witness what you're
going through, and clearly examine it...
232
00:22:45,817 --> 00:22:48,690
...and, more importantly, to accept it.
233
00:22:49,723 --> 00:22:51,745
I know that's kind of heavy
for this hour of the morning...
234
00:22:51,825 --> 00:22:54,041
...but you're in exceptional health
for a person your age...
235
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,689
...and if you need anything whatsoever,
you call me or you just come by.
236
00:22:58,758 --> 00:23:00,257
Okay.
237
00:23:00,991 --> 00:23:04,246
You've been very good today,
so you get one of these.
238
00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:07,491
What do I do with this, stick it up my ass?
239
00:23:08,424 --> 00:23:10,224
How about you just suck it?
240
00:23:28,551 --> 00:23:30,390
Oh, boy.
241
00:24:01,989 --> 00:24:03,291
You're nothing!
242
00:24:06,491 --> 00:24:08,057
LUCKY: Yeah.
243
00:24:28,874 --> 00:24:30,577
Everyday with this guy.
244
00:24:30,657 --> 00:24:33,143
Kneedler said it was all right
for me to smoke.
245
00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:35,560
Not in here.
246
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,744
- And when did Kneedler ever say that?
- This morning.
247
00:24:38,824 --> 00:24:41,844
JOE: Oh, you know,
I was getting a little worried.
248
00:24:41,924 --> 00:24:45,289
Bet you was getting that prostate checked.
249
00:24:45,990 --> 00:24:48,190
I fell.
250
00:24:49,391 --> 00:24:51,824
On my bony ass, I fell.
251
00:24:58,290 --> 00:25:01,427
- Are you okay?
- That's subjective.
252
00:25:01,507 --> 00:25:05,277
Pam! Loretta! Lucky fell down!
253
00:25:05,357 --> 00:25:07,878
Let's not make a production out of it!
254
00:25:07,957 --> 00:25:11,010
- Well, what did Kneedler say?
- He said I'm old.
255
00:25:11,790 --> 00:25:14,810
- And that's news to you?
- LORETTA: Did he give you anything?
256
00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:17,910
I don't know, man, it's all bullshit.
257
00:25:17,990 --> 00:25:19,624
JOE: Wait, where you going?
258
00:25:52,424 --> 00:25:53,924
Cunts!
259
00:26:02,357 --> 00:26:05,224
- Buenos días.
- Buenos días.
260
00:26:06,024 --> 00:26:08,457
Give me three packs today, honey.
261
00:26:18,291 --> 00:26:20,491
Here you go, keep the change.
262
00:26:24,657 --> 00:26:26,326
Are you okay?
263
00:26:26,855 --> 00:26:28,723
(WHISPERS) I don't know.
264
00:26:31,291 --> 00:26:35,109
You know, Juan Wayne's birthday
is on Saturday.
265
00:26:35,189 --> 00:26:38,776
- Oh, yeah?
- We're gonna have a big fiesta...
266
00:26:38,855 --> 00:26:43,955
...with a bouncy house, piñata,
mariachis, and lots of food.
267
00:26:44,624 --> 00:26:46,491
Mariachis, huh?
268
00:26:50,690 --> 00:26:52,730
Do you want to come?
269
00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:55,544
To the fiesta?
270
00:26:55,624 --> 00:26:57,190
Saturday.
271
00:26:58,490 --> 00:27:01,492
- And where is it?
- It's at my home.
272
00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,569
- You know where the school is?
- Yeah.
273
00:27:05,649 --> 00:27:07,909
It's the yellow house
right behind the school.
274
00:27:07,989 --> 00:27:09,822
Oh, yeah.
275
00:27:10,457 --> 00:27:12,312
Well...
276
00:27:12,392 --> 00:27:15,413
...let's keep it on the burner, okay?
277
00:27:15,972 --> 00:27:19,883
- Okay.
- Gracias. Adiós.
278
00:27:20,256 --> 00:27:23,311
HOST: (OVER TV)
And now we're bringing it over to you, Lisa.
279
00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:26,109
What is the answer to the question?
280
00:27:26,189 --> 00:27:31,277
LISA: Is it April 16, 1746,
the Battle of Culloden?
281
00:27:31,357 --> 00:27:35,344
HOST: The answer to that question...
we'll have to wait until tomorrow.
282
00:27:35,424 --> 00:27:38,640
Thank you for joining us
and we'll see you all tomorrow on...
283
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,524
...Make a Guess.
284
00:28:07,624 --> 00:28:09,657
(TV CLICKS OFF)
285
00:28:42,524 --> 00:28:44,723
Hey, man, how you doing?
286
00:28:47,923 --> 00:28:49,490
Okay.
287
00:28:50,923 --> 00:28:54,544
Hey, uh, I was just thinking
about something...
288
00:28:54,624 --> 00:28:56,823
...I wanted to share with you, man.
289
00:28:59,257 --> 00:29:01,092
You got a minute?
290
00:29:01,674 --> 00:29:04,964
Yeah. When I was a kid living in Kentucky...
291
00:29:05,646 --> 00:29:08,310
...I had this BB gun.
292
00:29:08,390 --> 00:29:10,424
It didn't shoot straight.
293
00:29:12,090 --> 00:29:16,610
So I was out one day shooting
at things, trees, leaves.
294
00:29:18,722 --> 00:29:23,521
And there was a mockingbird
up in a tree singing his heart out.
295
00:29:25,856 --> 00:29:27,356
And...
296
00:29:27,823 --> 00:29:31,690
I aimed my gun just to scare him away...
297
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,570
...pulled the trigger...
298
00:29:35,123 --> 00:29:37,363
...and the singing stopped.
299
00:29:40,924 --> 00:29:43,798
It was the saddest moment in my whole life.
300
00:29:46,857 --> 00:29:49,749
The silence it cast in the world...
301
00:29:51,099 --> 00:29:52,927
...was devastating.
302
00:29:59,823 --> 00:30:04,245
I haven't thought about
that bird since I was a kid.
303
00:30:08,190 --> 00:30:09,990
I know.
304
00:30:12,557 --> 00:30:14,424
All right.
305
00:30:15,823 --> 00:30:17,622
Thanks, man.
306
00:30:18,556 --> 00:30:20,557
(PHONE CLICKS ON CRADLE)
307
00:30:54,103 --> 00:30:56,049
You been watching Deal or no Deal?
308
00:30:57,223 --> 00:30:59,216
Are you kidding, it makes no sense.
309
00:30:59,296 --> 00:31:03,416
Come on, man, you gotta give it
a second chance. It is...
310
00:31:05,204 --> 00:31:07,009
Listen, listen, check it out.
311
00:31:07,089 --> 00:31:10,240
You start with 50 briefcases...
312
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,943
...right, held by 50 hot chicks.
313
00:31:13,023 --> 00:31:16,944
Right? And inside each briefcase, all 50...
314
00:31:17,024 --> 00:31:21,388
...is a number and that number
is how much money you're gonna win...
315
00:31:21,468 --> 00:31:23,377
...if you open that case.
316
00:31:23,457 --> 00:31:26,277
So you choose one case
at the beginning of the game...
317
00:31:26,357 --> 00:31:28,376
...that you're gonna open up
at the end of the game.
318
00:31:28,456 --> 00:31:31,376
And then you systematically
open up all the briefcases...
319
00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:34,111
...and the hot chicks show you
how much money you could have won.
320
00:31:34,191 --> 00:31:37,010
And the whole time,
there's this hidden guy...
321
00:31:37,090 --> 00:31:41,043
...and he's sitting off stage and he's
offering to buy the case that you chose.
322
00:31:41,123 --> 00:31:45,443
So by the end of the game,
you've opened up all the cases except two.
323
00:31:45,522 --> 00:31:48,874
And you have to decide whether to take
the money from the hidden guy...
324
00:31:48,954 --> 00:31:52,877
...the money that's already in your case
or the case that you haven't chosen yet.
325
00:31:52,957 --> 00:31:56,425
But you don't know what's in your case
or the case you haven't chosen...
326
00:31:56,504 --> 00:31:59,156
...until you actually open it.
327
00:32:00,589 --> 00:32:05,844
So a guy picks a case and I've gotta
wait a fucking hour to see what's in it?
328
00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,391
Yeah.
329
00:32:08,522 --> 00:32:11,989
It's a convoluted piece of shit.
330
00:32:25,423 --> 00:32:27,894
Lucky, how you doing, buddy?
331
00:32:28,690 --> 00:32:30,810
I haven't a clue, man.
332
00:32:31,390 --> 00:32:34,371
- Someone's in a mood.
- Leave him be. He'll snap out of it.
333
00:32:34,451 --> 00:32:36,109
Right, pal?
334
00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:38,776
- ELAINE: Two more cases?
- VINCENT: Yeah, that'll do.
335
00:32:38,856 --> 00:32:41,675
- If you want, I can...
- Watch me lift stuff?
336
00:32:41,755 --> 00:32:45,024
Can I help it if I have a strong mind,
but a weak back?
337
00:32:46,455 --> 00:32:48,023
Sit.
338
00:32:56,256 --> 00:33:00,209
I know that look.
Used to see it all the time.
339
00:33:00,289 --> 00:33:04,709
You know where? In the mirror,
my reflection staring back at me.
340
00:33:04,789 --> 00:33:08,311
- VINCENT: And then he met Elaine.
- Hey, who's telling the story?
341
00:33:08,391 --> 00:33:10,943
I'm sorry, but it hasn't exactly
been un-told.
342
00:33:11,023 --> 00:33:13,609
I've told this? You've heard this
before from me? When?
343
00:33:13,689 --> 00:33:16,776
All the time, that's when.
I bet he's heard it, too.
344
00:33:16,856 --> 00:33:20,277
- I've told this? You've heard this?
- Ungatz.
345
00:33:20,956 --> 00:33:24,223
Holy shit, that's right! Ungatz.
346
00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:26,985
- Nothing. I was nothing.
- You were a bum.
347
00:33:27,065 --> 00:33:30,043
PAULIE: I was a bum.
I had no plans. I had no ambitions.
348
00:33:30,123 --> 00:33:31,877
- A two-bit hustler.
- PAULIE: That was me.
349
00:33:31,957 --> 00:33:33,876
- And you knew it.
- PAULIE: I did.
350
00:33:33,956 --> 00:33:37,554
I'd look into the mirror
and all I'd see was ungatz.
351
00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:39,924
I hated myself.
352
00:33:41,689 --> 00:33:44,884
- And then what happened?
- You met Elaine.
353
00:33:44,964 --> 00:33:47,943
Jesus, I can't believe it,
you really listen to me.
354
00:33:48,023 --> 00:33:50,028
- That's amazing.
- (LAUGHTER)
355
00:33:50,957 --> 00:33:54,844
Anyway, I met... I met this fantastic woman.
356
00:33:54,924 --> 00:33:59,509
And she met a bum, a deadbeat.
Did she try to change me? No.
357
00:33:59,589 --> 00:34:02,842
Did she expect me to change myself? No.
358
00:34:02,922 --> 00:34:05,829
- She accepted me for who I was.
- Who you are.
359
00:34:05,909 --> 00:34:07,859
Who I am.
360
00:34:07,939 --> 00:34:10,475
I'm still ungatz, nothing.
361
00:34:10,555 --> 00:34:13,641
But I've got everything.
362
00:34:13,721 --> 00:34:16,744
- Isn't that something?
- Something for you.
363
00:34:16,824 --> 00:34:20,997
No, what I'm trying to say is,
if this could happen, you know, to me...
364
00:34:21,077 --> 00:34:22,710
...then it could happen to anyone.
365
00:34:22,790 --> 00:34:24,619
- Even you.
- (SNICKERS)
366
00:34:25,099 --> 00:34:26,622
Bullshit.
367
00:34:40,990 --> 00:34:43,375
Jesus Christ.
368
00:34:43,455 --> 00:34:48,076
MAN: I believe we can just get by with
a will and a medical power of attorney.
369
00:34:48,156 --> 00:34:51,189
Howard, where have you been?
I've been waiting for you.
370
00:34:52,550 --> 00:34:53,509
Who's this?
371
00:34:53,589 --> 00:34:57,309
Hey, Lucky. This here
is my attorney Bobby Lawrence.
372
00:34:57,388 --> 00:34:59,495
- Nice to meet you, Lucky.
- LUCKY: Hello.
373
00:35:00,355 --> 00:35:02,981
You know why sharks don't eat attorneys?
374
00:35:04,190 --> 00:35:06,823
- Uh...
- Professional courtesy.
375
00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:11,224
Right, that's an oldie but a goodie.
376
00:35:12,816 --> 00:35:14,976
So did you come here to help find Roosevelt?
377
00:35:15,056 --> 00:35:17,876
No, he's here to help me with my plan.
378
00:35:17,956 --> 00:35:20,676
- What plan?
- End-of-life plan.
379
00:35:20,956 --> 00:35:22,543
Are you dying?
380
00:35:22,623 --> 00:35:25,295
No, he's just preparing for the unexpected.
381
00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:27,623
What's unexpected?
382
00:35:28,757 --> 00:35:32,442
Well, I mean, none of us
make it out of this thing alive.
383
00:35:32,522 --> 00:35:35,849
So, knowing that, it'd be a sin
not to prepare for the well-being...
384
00:35:35,929 --> 00:35:37,788
...of your loved ones.
385
00:35:42,156 --> 00:35:44,443
What loved ones do you have, anyway?
386
00:35:44,523 --> 00:35:49,388
When I go, I want to leave all
my possessions to President Roosevelt.
387
00:35:50,173 --> 00:35:52,781
- Your turtle?
- Well, you know, this might not...
388
00:35:52,861 --> 00:35:57,430
Tortoise! And he's still got
at least 100 years left in him.
389
00:35:57,510 --> 00:36:00,610
- A hundred years?
- HOWARD: Yeah.
390
00:36:00,690 --> 00:36:04,638
- You know, Lucky, you remind me...
- Shut the fuck up!
391
00:36:11,289 --> 00:36:12,790
Okay.
392
00:36:21,489 --> 00:36:23,710
Didn't Roosevelt just run away?
393
00:36:24,389 --> 00:36:28,542
Yeah, but this is for, you know,
when he comes back.
394
00:36:29,089 --> 00:36:32,542
- Is he a homing turtle?
- Tortoise. And no, he's not.
395
00:36:32,622 --> 00:36:36,211
He's gone, Howard, and you're all alone.
396
00:36:36,290 --> 00:36:39,214
We come in alone, and we go out alone.
397
00:36:39,293 --> 00:36:41,276
That's awfully bleak.
398
00:36:41,356 --> 00:36:43,576
It's beautiful.
399
00:36:44,255 --> 00:36:47,943
"Alone" comes from two words, all-one.
400
00:36:48,023 --> 00:36:50,976
- It's in the dictionary.
- I miss him!
401
00:36:51,056 --> 00:36:52,878
It'll be okay, Howie.
402
00:36:53,657 --> 00:36:56,542
A tortoise is an amazing creature, Lucky.
403
00:36:56,622 --> 00:37:00,876
They're as noble as a king,
and as kindhearted as a grandmother.
404
00:37:00,956 --> 00:37:04,243
I miss my friend, his company.
405
00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,876
I miss his personality.
406
00:37:05,956 --> 00:37:08,243
He's not missing, Howard. He's just not here.
407
00:37:08,323 --> 00:37:10,675
He's there, wherever the fuck that is.
408
00:37:10,755 --> 00:37:13,043
And if he's not there, then he's nowhere.
409
00:37:13,123 --> 00:37:16,906
- Well, I'm sure he's okay.
- Why don't you go fuck yourself?
410
00:37:16,986 --> 00:37:18,199
Oh!
411
00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:21,371
You don't give a shit about him.
You're just here to suck him dry.
412
00:37:21,451 --> 00:37:25,543
You lamprey, leach, vulture.
413
00:37:26,023 --> 00:37:29,780
Con him out of his last dime,
just to leave everything to a turtle.
414
00:37:29,860 --> 00:37:33,010
Tortoise! He's a tortoise!
415
00:37:33,369 --> 00:37:35,675
You know that saguaro near your yard?
416
00:37:35,755 --> 00:37:38,876
That thing was barely a twig
when Roosevelt was born.
417
00:37:38,956 --> 00:37:43,455
They're contemporaries, you know?
They watched each other grow up.
418
00:37:45,089 --> 00:37:48,676
President Roosevelt was born
in a hole in the desert.
419
00:37:48,756 --> 00:37:52,154
At that time, a little creature
smaller than my thumb.
420
00:37:52,889 --> 00:37:56,010
And something clicked inside
that little Roosevelt brain...
421
00:37:56,090 --> 00:38:00,356
...and he scampered up out
of that hole and faced the world.
422
00:38:01,689 --> 00:38:04,709
You all think of a tortoise
as something slow.
423
00:38:04,789 --> 00:38:08,077
But I think about the burden
he has to carry on his back.
424
00:38:08,856 --> 00:38:11,009
Yeah, it's for protection.
425
00:38:11,089 --> 00:38:14,511
But ultimately, it's the coffin
he's gonna get buried in...
426
00:38:15,390 --> 00:38:18,657
...and he has to drag that thing
around his entire life?
427
00:38:19,690 --> 00:38:21,895
Go ahead and laugh...
428
00:38:21,975 --> 00:38:23,829
...but he affected me.
429
00:38:24,373 --> 00:38:27,635
You know what I'm saying? He affected me.
430
00:38:28,622 --> 00:38:31,073
There are some things in this universe,
ladies and gentlemen...
431
00:38:31,152 --> 00:38:35,356
...that are bigger than all of us.
And a tortoise is one of 'em!
432
00:38:48,789 --> 00:38:51,188
You asshole.
433
00:38:52,989 --> 00:38:55,175
I want to teach you a lesson.
434
00:38:55,855 --> 00:38:58,309
WOMAN:
Lucky! No fighting in my bar, goddammit!
435
00:38:58,389 --> 00:39:01,442
- Then we'll take it outside.
- MAN: Seriously, Lucky?
436
00:39:01,522 --> 00:39:04,916
You know, Mr... Mr. Lucky, I...
437
00:39:04,996 --> 00:39:07,555
- ...I don't think...
- You don't think I can take you?
438
00:39:08,490 --> 00:39:11,343
I fought the fucking Japs!
You don't think I can take you?
439
00:39:11,423 --> 00:39:15,222
No. I don't think it's a good idea for you.
440
00:39:15,924 --> 00:39:19,876
Outside. Five minutes. Fisticuffs.
441
00:39:19,956 --> 00:39:22,623
- Lucky...
- Five minutes!
442
00:39:24,655 --> 00:39:26,155
Lucky?
443
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:28,832
Lucky!
444
00:39:34,723 --> 00:39:36,142
Is he coming out?
445
00:39:36,222 --> 00:39:38,847
Are you kidding? He doesn't wanna fight you.
446
00:39:38,927 --> 00:39:43,092
- I wouldn't want to fight me, either, pal.
- Easy, Lash LaRue.
447
00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:44,764
Let him live this time, okay?
448
00:39:44,844 --> 00:39:48,088
Forty years ago, I wouldn't have
given him a fuckin' option.
449
00:39:48,168 --> 00:39:51,222
Forty years ago, he'd have been in diapers.
450
00:39:53,222 --> 00:39:55,839
Forget about him! Okay?
451
00:39:57,355 --> 00:39:58,922
Okay.
452
00:40:02,256 --> 00:40:04,457
(DISTANT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
453
00:40:11,189 --> 00:40:12,936
Where you going?
454
00:40:19,155 --> 00:40:20,957
Go home, Lucky.
455
00:40:24,356 --> 00:40:26,675
(ROCK MUSIC GETS LOUDER)
456
00:40:36,089 --> 00:40:37,670
Paulie?
457
00:40:52,043 --> 00:40:54,056
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
458
00:41:39,586 --> 00:41:41,608
(ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES)
459
00:41:55,605 --> 00:41:57,629
(MUSIC STOPS)
460
00:42:17,856 --> 00:42:19,899
(PHONE RINGING)
461
00:42:44,123 --> 00:42:45,873
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
462
00:45:27,255 --> 00:45:29,122
LORETTA: Hey, there!
463
00:45:30,189 --> 00:45:31,988
How ya' doing?
464
00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:34,353
How did you get here?
465
00:45:34,822 --> 00:45:37,998
- I... drove?
- How did you know where I live?
466
00:45:38,078 --> 00:45:40,673
- Everybody knows where you live.
- They do?
467
00:45:40,752 --> 00:45:43,788
This is a tiny town.
Don't you know where I live?
468
00:45:45,489 --> 00:45:47,443
Yeah, over by the church?
469
00:45:47,523 --> 00:45:48,823
There you go.
470
00:45:50,189 --> 00:45:52,644
So, what do you want?
471
00:45:53,223 --> 00:45:56,405
Well, I was worried about you so I thought
I'd come by and check on you.
472
00:45:58,655 --> 00:46:00,529
You're welcome.
473
00:46:00,609 --> 00:46:02,861
Nice outfit there, cowboy.
474
00:46:07,589 --> 00:46:09,589
Thanks for coming by.
475
00:46:23,623 --> 00:46:27,243
Jesus Christ. How'd you get in here?
I thought you'd left.
476
00:46:27,323 --> 00:46:30,809
I'm sorry, I knocked, the door was unlocked.
477
00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:33,322
You scared me to death.
478
00:46:36,789 --> 00:46:39,040
You were such a cute, little boy.
479
00:46:42,246 --> 00:46:45,355
And such a handsome young man in uniform.
480
00:46:48,555 --> 00:46:51,845
This photo at the beach, are these your kids?
481
00:46:52,355 --> 00:46:53,922
No.
482
00:46:55,423 --> 00:46:57,804
- Were you ever married?
- No.
483
00:46:59,193 --> 00:47:00,799
Were you?
484
00:47:02,055 --> 00:47:03,625
No.
485
00:47:06,323 --> 00:47:10,392
- You got somewhere to be, sailor?
- Uh... no.
486
00:47:13,655 --> 00:47:15,489
Do you like game shows?
487
00:47:18,189 --> 00:47:19,893
Do you smoke grass?
488
00:47:35,256 --> 00:47:37,575
LORETTA: This isn't a game show.
489
00:47:37,655 --> 00:47:39,455
LUCKY: It's ended.
490
00:47:51,721 --> 00:47:55,877
This... he is amazing. Who is this?
491
00:47:55,957 --> 00:47:58,042
Liberace. Didn't you ever hear of him?
492
00:47:58,122 --> 00:48:01,171
Yes, I've heard of him.
493
00:48:01,251 --> 00:48:03,050
He's wonderful.
494
00:48:03,655 --> 00:48:05,943
LUCKY: I feel like such an asshole.
495
00:48:06,572 --> 00:48:08,805
When this guy first came on the scene...
496
00:48:09,755 --> 00:48:12,988
...I wrote him off as just another
extravagant fruit.
497
00:48:14,072 --> 00:48:17,212
If you stop and listen to him,
you'll see he's brilliant!
498
00:48:17,621 --> 00:48:21,282
And I don't know how the hell he plays
with all those rings on his fingers...
499
00:48:21,362 --> 00:48:23,343
...that's even more impressive.
500
00:48:24,722 --> 00:48:26,569
Look at him.
501
00:48:28,156 --> 00:48:33,222
I don't know why I ever gave a shit about
who he was screwing in the first place.
502
00:48:34,522 --> 00:48:36,986
If he was getting laid, more power to him.
503
00:48:41,357 --> 00:48:43,989
Hmm, I can hardly get it up anymore.
504
00:48:47,554 --> 00:48:49,992
LIBERACE: (OVER TV)
I hope I didn't leave anybody out.
505
00:48:50,989 --> 00:48:53,975
Oh, we did leave out somebody.
All you kids...
506
00:48:54,055 --> 00:48:57,363
Oh, shit, I gotta go. I'm late.
I gotta get back to the diner.
507
00:48:57,443 --> 00:48:59,456
Joe is going to kill me.
508
00:49:01,956 --> 00:49:03,688
All right.
509
00:49:12,754 --> 00:49:14,590
LIBERACE: Bunch of liars. (LAUGHTER)
510
00:49:17,089 --> 00:49:19,199
- I'll see you later.
- Okay.
511
00:49:19,279 --> 00:49:20,808
Bye.
512
00:49:21,288 --> 00:49:23,342
- Hey.
- Yeah?
513
00:49:24,188 --> 00:49:26,444
Can I tell you a secret?
514
00:49:26,923 --> 00:49:28,522
LORETTA: Absolutely.
515
00:49:29,888 --> 00:49:32,688
You won't tell anyone?
516
00:49:40,323 --> 00:49:42,155
I'm scared.
517
00:49:47,489 --> 00:49:49,322
I know.
518
00:49:51,722 --> 00:49:53,522
I know.
519
00:50:24,488 --> 00:50:27,175
Did you ever think about
before you were born?
520
00:50:28,555 --> 00:50:30,842
JOE: No, never did.
521
00:50:31,466 --> 00:50:33,321
What are you talking about?
522
00:50:34,489 --> 00:50:36,323
New beginning.
523
00:50:38,655 --> 00:50:42,291
Is that... in the crossword today?
524
00:50:42,722 --> 00:50:44,217
No.
525
00:50:45,347 --> 00:50:49,050
I was just thinking about something that
happened to me when I was about...
526
00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:51,555
...12 or 13 years old.
527
00:50:52,323 --> 00:50:54,588
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
528
00:50:56,222 --> 00:50:58,908
I was at my Aunt Beulah's house, alone.
529
00:50:58,988 --> 00:51:00,821
I don't remember why.
530
00:51:02,521 --> 00:51:06,576
And only once, I got this anxiety attack.
531
00:51:06,656 --> 00:51:10,708
I panicked and I was scared to death.
I started thinking there's nothing out there.
532
00:51:10,788 --> 00:51:13,222
It's all black, there's nothing.
533
00:51:14,855 --> 00:51:18,295
And I was... I was scared shitless, man.
534
00:51:19,589 --> 00:51:21,242
13?
535
00:51:21,322 --> 00:51:22,821
Yeah.
536
00:51:26,589 --> 00:51:28,421
What happened?
537
00:51:29,555 --> 00:51:33,180
I don't know, my aunt came back
and that was the end of it.
538
00:51:35,454 --> 00:51:37,475
(DOOR OPENS)
539
00:51:37,555 --> 00:51:41,276
- Hey, Bob, how we doing?
- BOBBY: Little bit worse, I'd be perfect.
540
00:51:41,355 --> 00:51:43,188
JOE: Sit anywhere you like.
541
00:51:52,022 --> 00:51:55,674
Hey, you know what, Joe?
I'll just take a coffee to go.
542
00:51:55,754 --> 00:51:58,676
Oh, okay. Well, I got a pot brewing.
543
00:51:58,756 --> 00:52:00,555
It'll be a minute.
544
00:52:01,388 --> 00:52:03,188
All right.
545
00:52:08,622 --> 00:52:10,191
Morning.
546
00:52:11,185 --> 00:52:12,769
Hi.
547
00:52:14,189 --> 00:52:15,755
Howdy.
548
00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:25,788
So, no, uh... no sign of The President yet.
549
00:52:26,522 --> 00:52:29,147
I hope he turns up soon,
for Howard's sake. The two of them...
550
00:52:29,227 --> 00:52:31,592
- ...are like heterosexual partners.
- Only one thing worse...
551
00:52:31,672 --> 00:52:33,871
...than awkward silence...
552
00:52:34,554 --> 00:52:36,358
...small talk.
553
00:52:40,956 --> 00:52:42,823
Okay, I hear you.
554
00:52:58,254 --> 00:53:00,056
So you doing okay?
555
00:53:01,955 --> 00:53:03,541
Fragile.
556
00:53:03,621 --> 00:53:05,188
Oh.
557
00:53:06,989 --> 00:53:08,076
Why is that?
558
00:53:09,654 --> 00:53:11,676
I fell down.
559
00:53:11,756 --> 00:53:15,008
Ooh, yeah, yeah, that's... that's bad.
560
00:53:15,088 --> 00:53:17,517
Yup. It rung my bell.
561
00:53:21,588 --> 00:53:23,674
A couple years ago...
562
00:53:23,754 --> 00:53:27,241
...I was heading to my daughter's
school to pick her up.
563
00:53:27,321 --> 00:53:31,185
And as I'm turning around the corner,
you know, going to the parking lot...
564
00:53:31,264 --> 00:53:33,308
...there's a garbage truck that...
565
00:53:33,388 --> 00:53:36,078
...I mean, just barely missed me.
566
00:53:36,588 --> 00:53:40,570
There was no more room between my car
and that truck than between me and this tie.
567
00:53:41,022 --> 00:53:42,857
A half a second...
568
00:53:43,738 --> 00:53:46,380
...a half a second made all the difference.
569
00:53:48,389 --> 00:53:52,864
Two minutes later, my daughter hops into
the car as if nothing's happened, and...
570
00:53:54,322 --> 00:53:56,388
...I guess nothing has.
571
00:53:57,455 --> 00:53:59,288
But, uh...
572
00:54:03,855 --> 00:54:05,863
...it really shook me to the core.
573
00:54:09,023 --> 00:54:13,428
Yeah, I got hair standing up
on my arms just thinking about it.
574
00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:18,409
- Here we go, Bob.
- Oh, thank you.
575
00:54:18,489 --> 00:54:20,375
Gratis, counselor.
576
00:54:20,855 --> 00:54:22,688
Thanks, Joe.
577
00:54:23,755 --> 00:54:25,548
Do you mind if I sit down?
578
00:54:27,022 --> 00:54:28,685
Well, sit down.
579
00:54:31,422 --> 00:54:33,605
Do you have any kids, Lucky?
580
00:54:34,722 --> 00:54:37,787
None that I'm totally sure of, no.
581
00:54:38,589 --> 00:54:41,309
- You married?
- Never been married.
582
00:54:41,389 --> 00:54:43,254
Ever in love?
583
00:54:44,188 --> 00:54:46,009
Yeah, I guess so.
584
00:54:46,089 --> 00:54:48,462
Ah, so it goes, huh?
585
00:54:54,122 --> 00:54:56,195
Well, "The future's not ours to see."
586
00:54:57,654 --> 00:54:59,875
Hell, I've made a whole career out of that.
587
00:55:00,654 --> 00:55:04,209
Wills and trusts, you know, it's about
planning for things that you can't foresee.
588
00:55:04,289 --> 00:55:07,809
Just because you can't see 'em,
doesn't mean they're not gonna happen.
589
00:55:07,889 --> 00:55:11,833
- It is written.
- Mm-hm, somewhere.
590
00:55:14,288 --> 00:55:17,341
You know, I came home
with my daughter that day...
591
00:55:17,421 --> 00:55:19,626
...and I sat down, I made a will.
592
00:55:19,856 --> 00:55:23,662
I wrote end-of-life directives,
I upped my life insurance.
593
00:55:24,121 --> 00:55:26,387
I paid up front for my cremation.
594
00:55:27,023 --> 00:55:29,638
So now, if something happens to me...
595
00:55:34,756 --> 00:55:37,076
...when something happens to me...
596
00:55:38,055 --> 00:55:43,139
...my family doesn't have to worry
about the bureaucracy of death.
597
00:55:43,821 --> 00:55:45,654
You know?
598
00:55:46,088 --> 00:55:48,108
They just call one number...
599
00:55:48,988 --> 00:55:50,784
...and my body's gone
by the end of the day...
600
00:55:50,864 --> 00:55:54,679
...and they don't have to worry about
anything for the rest of their life.
601
00:55:54,989 --> 00:55:58,909
Well, this doesn't change
anything for you, this scenario.
602
00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:02,655
- Why not?
- You're still dead.
603
00:57:05,121 --> 00:57:08,987
How are you doin'?
Hey, how you doing, sweetheart?
604
00:57:14,922 --> 00:57:16,862
Hey, Lucky.
605
00:57:17,621 --> 00:57:20,075
- What's her name?
- Fiona.
606
00:57:20,555 --> 00:57:24,175
Hey, Fiona, you're a fine cut of a dog.
607
00:57:24,855 --> 00:57:26,607
- Yeah.
- Do you have any pets?
608
00:57:26,687 --> 00:57:29,172
- No.
- You ever think about adopting one?
609
00:57:29,252 --> 00:57:30,458
No.
610
00:57:30,538 --> 00:57:33,175
I got plenty inside who need a forever home.
611
00:57:33,255 --> 00:57:35,341
A what? What's a forever home?
612
00:57:35,421 --> 00:57:39,202
That's when someone adopts an animal and
then they have a permanent place to live.
613
00:57:40,688 --> 00:57:42,338
Nothing is permanent.
614
00:57:43,522 --> 00:57:45,721
Come inside, I'll show you around.
615
00:57:52,654 --> 00:57:54,768
It's like the wild kingdom in here.
616
00:57:55,187 --> 00:57:56,836
Aren't they beautiful?
617
00:57:56,916 --> 00:57:59,855
Yeah, and loud.
618
00:58:05,234 --> 00:58:09,207
- Do you have any mockingbirds?
- No, but I can order you one.
619
00:58:09,287 --> 00:58:11,120
No, thanks.
620
00:58:18,489 --> 00:58:22,108
- LUCKY: Are these tortoises?
- FRANCES: No, they're baby turtles.
621
00:58:23,187 --> 00:58:25,641
My friend Howard's tortoise ran away.
622
00:58:25,721 --> 00:58:28,342
- Oh, no.
- Yeah.
623
00:58:28,875 --> 00:58:31,174
He said they could live to be 100 years.
624
00:58:31,254 --> 00:58:34,275
Oh, absolutely. In some cases,
I've heard of 200 years.
625
00:58:34,355 --> 00:58:36,008
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
626
00:58:36,088 --> 00:58:37,655
Wow.
627
00:58:41,856 --> 00:58:44,305
- And what are these?
- Crickets.
628
00:58:45,489 --> 00:58:47,374
Can you adopt these, as well?
629
00:58:47,454 --> 00:58:50,508
No. People buy them to feed their reptiles.
630
00:58:50,588 --> 00:58:52,087
Oh.
631
00:58:53,454 --> 00:58:55,321
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
632
00:58:58,519 --> 00:59:00,521
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
633
01:00:42,087 --> 01:00:44,955
LORETTA: Good morning, darling.
Anywhere you like.
634
01:00:59,288 --> 01:01:01,117
Marines, huh?
635
01:01:01,847 --> 01:01:03,696
Yes, sir.
636
01:01:04,522 --> 01:01:07,192
- You?
- Navy.
637
01:01:09,021 --> 01:01:11,993
Okay, okay. You guys are great.
638
01:01:12,554 --> 01:01:14,937
You always gave us a lift to the fight.
639
01:01:17,054 --> 01:01:20,608
I read somewhere where the Marines
didn't have the mental capacity...
640
01:01:20,688 --> 01:01:23,588
...to understand
the inner workings of a ship.
641
01:01:25,521 --> 01:01:27,488
World War II, huh?
642
01:01:28,088 --> 01:01:30,976
- Pacific.
- Yeah, same here.
643
01:01:31,546 --> 01:01:33,853
Did you ever get around the Philippines?
644
01:01:35,255 --> 01:01:39,242
Yeah, I spent a couple years
in that slice of heaven.
645
01:01:39,322 --> 01:01:42,871
Yeah, me, too, but I never got off the boat.
646
01:01:42,951 --> 01:01:44,708
Consider yourself lucky.
647
01:01:46,089 --> 01:01:48,275
Can I get you a cup of coffee?
648
01:01:48,355 --> 01:01:50,842
- Yes, please, black.
- Mm-hm.
649
01:01:51,911 --> 01:01:55,808
- FRED: A piece of that apple pie?
- Absolutely. You want that warmed up?
650
01:01:55,888 --> 01:01:56,975
- No.
- All right.
651
01:01:57,055 --> 01:01:58,921
Thank you, though.
652
01:02:03,987 --> 01:02:07,920
Well, uh, mind if I come over and join you?
653
01:02:08,804 --> 01:02:11,438
No. Come on over here.
654
01:02:19,521 --> 01:02:21,108
Fred Sparks.
655
01:02:21,188 --> 01:02:22,988
They call me Lucky.
656
01:02:23,854 --> 01:02:28,922
I was a cook. On paper, that's supposed
to be the easiest job in the Navy.
657
01:02:29,002 --> 01:02:32,972
- That's why they called me Lucky.
- What were you riding in?
658
01:02:33,052 --> 01:02:34,655
L-S-T.
659
01:02:34,734 --> 01:02:38,583
L-S-T? Landing Ship Tank, right?
660
01:02:39,055 --> 01:02:41,943
We called it a large, slow target.
661
01:02:43,122 --> 01:02:46,341
We were hauling ammunition
for the big battleships.
662
01:02:46,820 --> 01:02:49,422
More like riding a stick of dynamite.
663
01:02:50,655 --> 01:02:54,008
You ever get a ship shot out
from underneath you?
664
01:02:54,088 --> 01:02:55,942
Almost once.
665
01:02:56,721 --> 01:02:59,242
Every day in the evening glare...
666
01:02:59,322 --> 01:03:02,909
...the suicide planes
came in low over the water...
667
01:03:03,389 --> 01:03:06,476
...with the sun behind them,
to hit our ships.
668
01:03:07,155 --> 01:03:10,907
So one day, this suicide plane was coming...
669
01:03:10,987 --> 01:03:14,009
...right towards our ammunition ship.
670
01:03:14,589 --> 01:03:17,212
And all at once...
671
01:03:17,292 --> 01:03:19,440
...about 100 yards away...
672
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:23,787
...it went up into the air
and slid back down into the water.
673
01:03:23,921 --> 01:03:26,474
Some of our small arms fire
had hit the pilot.
674
01:03:26,554 --> 01:03:29,787
- Lucky shot.
- Not for the pilot.
675
01:03:31,288 --> 01:03:34,288
Did you go straight to
the Philippines from boot camp?
676
01:03:35,122 --> 01:03:38,308
No, we stopped in Tarawa
and Okinawa on the way...
677
01:03:38,388 --> 01:03:40,272
...just to show them what fer.
678
01:03:40,352 --> 01:03:43,181
Tarawa, Jesus Christ.
679
01:03:44,620 --> 01:03:47,208
- Here you go.
- Oh, thank you, dear.
680
01:03:47,288 --> 01:03:49,921
- You're welcome.
- Thank you very much.
681
01:03:53,188 --> 01:03:56,783
I still think about those people
on the islands, hiding away in caves...
682
01:03:56,863 --> 01:03:58,753
...afraid of us.
683
01:03:59,289 --> 01:04:04,095
The Japs said that we were going
to rape and kill them all.
684
01:04:07,022 --> 01:04:08,860
So, we secured the beach...
685
01:04:10,421 --> 01:04:14,820
...and the locals who survived
that goddamn fire fight...
686
01:04:15,620 --> 01:04:20,267
...start throwing their children off
the cliffs, and then following them.
687
01:04:21,688 --> 01:04:25,930
I guess they thought suicide
was better than facing us.
688
01:04:27,321 --> 01:04:30,777
I remember this little girl,
couldn't have been more than seven...
689
01:04:30,857 --> 01:04:32,656
...in rags.
690
01:04:34,855 --> 01:04:38,014
I don't know, she saw us coming,
I guess, and right out of nowhere...
691
01:04:38,094 --> 01:04:40,342
...out of a hole or wherever it was...
692
01:04:41,321 --> 01:04:43,541
...and she had this...
693
01:04:43,621 --> 01:04:48,243
...God, this beautiful smile on her face.
694
01:04:49,222 --> 01:04:52,475
And it wasn't a facade, it was
coming from somewhere inside...
695
01:04:52,554 --> 01:04:55,441
...from the center of herself.
696
01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:58,044
Good Lord, in that shit hole...
697
01:04:58,124 --> 01:05:00,584
...something like that really stands out.
698
01:05:01,988 --> 01:05:05,199
It stopped us in our track. Here we were...
699
01:05:05,279 --> 01:05:08,899
...all covered with shit,
pieces of people everywhere...
700
01:05:08,979 --> 01:05:13,209
...and I couldn't see a tree left.
And she's grinning from ear to ear.
701
01:05:14,887 --> 01:05:17,475
So I said to my corpsman, I said...
702
01:05:17,554 --> 01:05:20,388
"...Look at this, we got somebody
who's happy to see us."
703
01:05:21,421 --> 01:05:25,242
And he said, "She's not happy
to see you. She's a Buddhist.
704
01:05:25,921 --> 01:05:30,200
She thinks she's gonna be killed,
and she's smiling at her fate."
705
01:05:33,419 --> 01:05:38,141
When I think about that little girl's
beautiful face, and that smile...
706
01:05:38,221 --> 01:05:40,740
...in the midst of all that horror...
707
01:05:40,820 --> 01:05:42,921
...and how she summoned...
708
01:05:45,455 --> 01:05:46,989
...joy.
709
01:05:51,620 --> 01:05:54,469
They don't make a medal
for that kind of bravery.
710
01:06:41,620 --> 01:06:43,622
(MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING)
711
01:06:59,778 --> 01:07:01,822
(MAN SINGING IN SPANISH)
712
01:07:37,122 --> 01:07:41,201
Hi, Lucky. I brought you some flan.
I made it myself.
713
01:07:41,281 --> 01:07:45,777
- Oh, thank you.
- And this is my mother, Victoria.
714
01:07:45,857 --> 01:07:48,204
She speaks a little English.
715
01:07:48,644 --> 01:07:50,204
Lucky.
716
01:07:50,284 --> 01:07:52,593
- Hola.
- Nice to meet you, darling.
717
01:07:52,673 --> 01:07:56,121
- Mucho gusto.
- Bueno, I'll be right back, okay?
718
01:07:58,022 --> 01:07:59,943
Now, um...
719
01:08:00,023 --> 01:08:04,007
...what does the name Victoria
mean in English?
720
01:08:04,087 --> 01:08:07,380
- Victory.
- Victory, ah, Che Guevara said...
721
01:08:07,460 --> 01:08:12,175
"...Hasta la victoria siempre."
722
01:08:12,255 --> 01:08:13,627
(IN SPANISH) You speak Spanish?
723
01:08:13,707 --> 01:08:15,436
(IN SPANISH) Very little.
724
01:08:15,516 --> 01:08:18,246
My pronunciation is good.
725
01:08:18,325 --> 01:08:21,885
But my conversation is very limited.
726
01:08:21,975 --> 01:08:25,271
But this is fantastic.
Your pronunciation is perfect.
727
01:08:25,350 --> 01:08:27,449
It sounds so natural.
728
01:08:27,529 --> 01:08:29,403
My daughter always speaks highly of you...
729
01:08:29,483 --> 01:08:32,534
...and she says
you are keen on Mariachi music.
730
01:08:36,393 --> 01:08:38,027
(MUSIC PLAYING)
731
01:08:39,187 --> 01:08:41,020
Excuse me.
732
01:08:46,791 --> 01:08:48,793
(ALL SINGING SPANISH)
733
01:09:49,488 --> 01:09:51,554
(SINGING STOPS)
734
01:10:00,391 --> 01:10:02,417
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
735
01:10:22,353 --> 01:10:25,153
LUCKY: (SINGING) Este amor apasionado
736
01:10:25,232 --> 01:10:27,431
Anda todo alborotado
737
01:10:27,511 --> 01:10:30,767
Por volver
738
01:10:32,487 --> 01:10:37,300
Voy camino a la locura
y aunque todo me tortura
739
01:10:37,919 --> 01:10:41,476
Sé querer
740
01:10:42,045 --> 01:10:46,232
Nos dejamos hace tiempo
pero me llegó el momento
741
01:10:46,312 --> 01:10:49,341
De perder
742
01:10:52,893 --> 01:10:55,512
Tú tenías mucha razón
743
01:10:55,592 --> 01:10:59,224
Y le hago caso al corazón
744
01:11:00,094 --> 01:11:03,961
Y me muero por volver
745
01:11:06,428 --> 01:11:09,473
Y volver, volver
746
01:11:09,553 --> 01:11:12,572
Volver
747
01:11:15,639 --> 01:11:19,425
A tus brazos otra vez
748
01:11:21,448 --> 01:11:24,234
Llegaré hasta donde estés
749
01:11:24,314 --> 01:11:28,502
Yo sé perder, yo sé perder, quiero volver
750
01:11:28,582 --> 01:11:32,071
Volver, volver
751
01:11:46,069 --> 01:11:49,042
Nos dejamos hace tiempo
752
01:11:49,121 --> 01:11:52,406
Pero me llegó el momento
753
01:11:52,486 --> 01:11:55,729
De perder
754
01:11:58,754 --> 01:12:01,252
Tú tenías mucha razón
755
01:12:01,332 --> 01:12:04,336
Y le hago caso al corazón
756
01:12:05,569 --> 01:12:09,575
Y me muero por volver
757
01:12:12,844 --> 01:12:15,739
Y volver, volver
758
01:12:15,819 --> 01:12:18,830
Volver
759
01:12:21,828 --> 01:12:25,397
A tus brazos otra vez
760
01:12:27,504 --> 01:12:30,332
Llegaré hasta donde estés
761
01:12:30,412 --> 01:12:34,512
Yo sé perder, yo sé perder, quiero volver
762
01:12:34,592 --> 01:12:38,163
Volver, volver
763
01:12:58,154 --> 01:12:59,331
Lucky!
764
01:12:59,411 --> 01:13:01,952
One of you will betray me.
765
01:13:02,031 --> 01:13:05,014
Bullshit. We'll all betray you.
766
01:13:05,093 --> 01:13:06,841
(ALL LAUGHING)
767
01:13:06,921 --> 01:13:09,507
You look peppy. Where have you been?
768
01:13:09,587 --> 01:13:13,040
Uh, to a fiesta. Did you ever have flan?
769
01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:15,036
- No.
- I love it.
770
01:13:15,116 --> 01:13:17,953
It has an unusual consistency.
771
01:13:18,821 --> 01:13:22,461
Howie, you find that reptile of yours yet?
772
01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:25,720
No, but thank you for asking.
773
01:13:26,654 --> 01:13:28,908
It's okay, I've let it go.
774
01:13:29,787 --> 01:13:33,841
I kept thinking about how much time
he spent planning his escape.
775
01:13:34,620 --> 01:13:38,020
And how much care he took
in making sure I couldn't find him.
776
01:13:39,054 --> 01:13:41,842
And then I started to realize
that he wasn't leaving me.
777
01:13:41,922 --> 01:13:46,008
He was just going off someplace else to
do something he thought was important.
778
01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:50,124
I even felt guilty for standing
in his way for so long.
779
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,787
So I stopped looking for him.
780
01:13:55,321 --> 01:13:58,013
If it's meant to be, I'll see him again.
781
01:13:58,620 --> 01:14:02,486
He knows where I am,
and I'm leaving the gate open.
782
01:14:06,653 --> 01:14:08,520
LUCKY: To Roosevelt!
783
01:14:19,154 --> 01:14:21,241
Hey! What, the rules don't apply to you?
784
01:14:21,321 --> 01:14:23,373
Since when did you think
you could smoke in here?
785
01:14:23,453 --> 01:14:25,243
Well, you could in '68.
786
01:14:25,323 --> 01:14:28,180
Well, it ain't '68 anymore, sweetheart.
787
01:14:34,954 --> 01:14:37,254
One of these days,
I'm just going to light up.
788
01:14:46,454 --> 01:14:49,130
My place, my rules.
789
01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:51,674
Ownership is a fallacy.
790
01:14:51,754 --> 01:14:54,173
Why can't you just live by the rules?
791
01:14:54,253 --> 01:14:57,707
Authority is arbitrary and subjective.
792
01:14:57,787 --> 01:15:02,486
This is the same kind of attitude
that got you 86-ed from Eve's.
793
01:15:03,887 --> 01:15:06,034
- What do you know of it?
- I know you lit up.
794
01:15:06,114 --> 01:15:07,808
That's what you think happened.
795
01:15:07,888 --> 01:15:10,168
If you didn't light up,
why did they kick you out?
796
01:15:10,248 --> 01:15:12,707
They didn't kick me out, I walked out.
797
01:15:12,787 --> 01:15:15,738
- That's a good story.
- I like that story.
798
01:15:15,818 --> 01:15:18,345
- It's not a story.
- ELAINE: Then what is it?
799
01:15:18,425 --> 01:15:22,374
- It's the truth.
- The truth is, you lit up!
800
01:15:22,454 --> 01:15:26,674
It's not about the cigarettes,
it's about what I know happened...
801
01:15:26,754 --> 01:15:29,747
- ...and what you think happened.
- I wish I had been there.
802
01:15:29,827 --> 01:15:32,107
You could have been there
and still have missed it.
803
01:15:32,187 --> 01:15:35,774
You broke the rules.
You got busted and banned.
804
01:15:35,854 --> 01:15:39,540
- That's the truth.
- How about if we all agree to disagree?
805
01:15:39,620 --> 01:15:43,620
No. I know the truth and the truth matters!
806
01:15:45,010 --> 01:15:47,620
It's a thing. Right?
807
01:15:49,086 --> 01:15:52,374
Yes, truth is a thing.
808
01:15:52,454 --> 01:15:56,874
It's the truth of who we are and what we do.
809
01:15:57,654 --> 01:16:01,140
And you have to face that, and accept it.
810
01:16:01,820 --> 01:16:05,420
Because the truth of the universe is waiting.
811
01:16:09,121 --> 01:16:11,904
- I'm lost.
- The truth of what is...
812
01:16:11,984 --> 01:16:14,108
...for all of us.
813
01:16:14,188 --> 01:16:15,355
Which is?
814
01:16:18,420 --> 01:16:22,254
That it's all going to go away.
815
01:16:23,822 --> 01:16:28,313
You, you, you, you, me,
this cigarette, everything...
816
01:16:29,754 --> 01:16:32,788
...into blackness, the void.
817
01:16:34,986 --> 01:16:37,186
And nobody's in charge.
818
01:16:38,353 --> 01:16:40,170
And you're left with...
819
01:16:42,153 --> 01:16:44,186
...ungatz.
820
01:16:46,353 --> 01:16:48,173
Ungatz.
821
01:16:48,253 --> 01:16:51,090
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
822
01:16:52,389 --> 01:16:54,880
That's... that's all there is.
823
01:16:58,288 --> 01:17:01,721
- And what do you do with that?
- What do we do with that?
824
01:17:10,954 --> 01:17:12,820
You smile.
825
01:21:46,553 --> 01:21:48,583
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
62869
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