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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,636 --> 00:00:36,693 (FAINT WILDLIFE SOUNDS) 2 00:01:13,524 --> 00:01:15,526 (LATIN MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:01:44,324 --> 00:01:46,326 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 4 00:02:32,725 --> 00:02:34,758 (BEEPS) 5 00:03:10,826 --> 00:03:12,836 (SIGHS) 6 00:03:20,841 --> 00:03:22,925 (MUSIC STOPS) 7 00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:50,878 - Hey, Lucky, how you doing? - You're nothing. 8 00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,012 You're nothing. 9 00:04:53,092 --> 00:04:54,924 LUCKY: Thank you. 10 00:05:00,325 --> 00:05:03,013 - Good morning, sweetheart. - Hi, doll. 11 00:05:03,093 --> 00:05:06,725 Plenty of cream and sugar, just like you like it. 12 00:05:12,058 --> 00:05:13,590 Perfect. 13 00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,945 JOE: Lucky! 14 00:05:21,624 --> 00:05:23,079 Oh, God. 15 00:05:23,158 --> 00:05:26,359 - Those things are gonna kill you. - If they could've, they would've. 16 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:28,086 (COUGHS) 17 00:06:10,525 --> 00:06:13,443 - LORETTA: All right, see you. - Oh, okay. 18 00:06:13,523 --> 00:06:15,926 Bye, Lucky. See you, Joe. 19 00:06:16,826 --> 00:06:18,365 JOE: What you stuck on now? 20 00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:21,804 Uh... 21 00:06:21,984 --> 00:06:24,466 ...seven-letter word for augur... 22 00:06:24,546 --> 00:06:27,544 ...A-U-G-U-R. 23 00:06:32,657 --> 00:06:34,478 I know. 24 00:06:34,558 --> 00:06:36,277 Go on, honey. 25 00:06:36,357 --> 00:06:37,645 Portend. 26 00:06:37,725 --> 00:06:40,835 Portend. P-O-R-T-E-N-D. 27 00:06:40,915 --> 00:06:43,078 LUCKY: That's it. Thank you, dear. 28 00:06:43,158 --> 00:06:44,970 JOE: Give me that. 29 00:06:46,057 --> 00:06:47,278 Well, this is easy. 30 00:06:47,358 --> 00:06:50,479 I mean, what you gonna do when you get the Sunday puzzle? 31 00:06:50,859 --> 00:06:52,747 PAM: Give me another. 32 00:06:54,524 --> 00:06:56,044 All right... 33 00:06:56,124 --> 00:07:00,344 ...a three-letter word for asshole starting with a "J"? 34 00:07:00,424 --> 00:07:02,111 (PAM CHUCKLES) 35 00:07:02,191 --> 00:07:03,781 JOE: Clever. 36 00:07:04,539 --> 00:07:06,359 Very clever. 37 00:07:17,258 --> 00:07:19,291 (HORN HONKING) 38 00:07:57,492 --> 00:07:59,512 (POWER TOOLS WHIRRING) 39 00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:14,957 Cunts! 40 00:08:23,258 --> 00:08:26,724 - Buenos días, Lucky. - Buenos días. 41 00:08:52,191 --> 00:08:55,297 - How are you today? - So far, so good. 42 00:08:58,292 --> 00:09:01,985 - Who's that again? - BIBI: That's my youngest son, Juan. 43 00:09:02,065 --> 00:09:04,878 Oh, yeah, yeah, that's John in English. 44 00:09:05,558 --> 00:09:08,557 Like John Wayne. Juan Wayne. 45 00:09:09,324 --> 00:09:11,612 He's gonna be ten on Saturday. 46 00:09:11,692 --> 00:09:14,381 - Oh, that's great. - It's his birthday. 47 00:09:15,358 --> 00:09:17,644 Well, I gotta go. My shows are on. 48 00:09:27,158 --> 00:09:29,110 Juan Wayne. 49 00:09:29,190 --> 00:09:31,057 BIBI: Juan Wayne. 50 00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:37,078 HOST: (OVER TV) Go ahead and tell us about yourself. 51 00:09:37,158 --> 00:09:39,830 CONTESTANT 1: Hi, I'm Stephanie Moreno! I'm from Pueblo, Colorado... 52 00:09:39,909 --> 00:09:42,278 ...and I'm here to make some money! 53 00:09:42,358 --> 00:09:44,400 CONTESTANT 2: Hi, I'm David Mulbec. I'm from Chicago... 54 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,945 ...and I'm here to make some money! 55 00:09:47,825 --> 00:09:50,135 CONTESTANT 3: Hi, I'm Marlene Moscavitz, Ann Arbor, Michigan... 56 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,424 ...and I'm here to make some money! 57 00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:57,055 HOST: Join us and find out who's gonna walk away with a brand, new car... 58 00:09:57,135 --> 00:09:59,145 ...on, Take a Guess. 59 00:09:59,924 --> 00:10:02,311 (OVER TV) Have you been turned down for life insurance? If you are... 60 00:10:02,391 --> 00:10:06,418 - They always yell at ya. - ...you can obtain full-term li... 61 00:10:18,991 --> 00:10:20,824 Oh, shit. 62 00:10:42,224 --> 00:10:44,691 Is realism a thing? 63 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:49,277 Okay, so it's a thing, huh? 64 00:10:49,757 --> 00:10:53,358 All right, and that's, uh, seven letters. 65 00:10:55,492 --> 00:10:57,121 Hold on a minute. 66 00:11:09,424 --> 00:11:11,244 Okay. 67 00:11:11,324 --> 00:11:13,325 "Realism, noun." 68 00:11:13,691 --> 00:11:18,423 "The attitude or practice of accepting a situation as it is... 69 00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:22,590 ...and being prepared to deal with it accordingly." 70 00:11:23,624 --> 00:11:25,591 Now the other one. 71 00:11:25,825 --> 00:11:30,210 "The quality or fact representing a person, thing... 72 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,539 ...or situation accurately... 73 00:11:32,619 --> 00:11:36,872 ...or in a way that is true to life. 74 00:11:46,658 --> 00:11:49,344 I always thought that what we all agreed on... 75 00:11:49,424 --> 00:11:52,312 ...was what we were looking at, but that's bullshit... 76 00:11:52,392 --> 00:11:55,657 ...because what I see is not necessarily what you see. 77 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:02,425 Realism. 78 00:12:03,692 --> 00:12:06,851 R-E-A... 79 00:12:06,931 --> 00:12:08,944 ...L-I... 80 00:12:09,024 --> 00:12:11,464 That's it. That's some heavy shit. 81 00:12:13,224 --> 00:12:15,257 She's gonna blow it. 82 00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:19,811 CONTESTANT 2: The Dark Ages? 83 00:12:19,891 --> 00:12:23,690 HOST: (OVER TV) No, I'm sorry. The answer you're looking for is "the Renaissance." 84 00:12:24,557 --> 00:12:28,224 You blew it, honey. There goes your fucking Buick. 85 00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:31,623 (TV CLICKS OFF) 86 00:12:33,307 --> 00:12:37,120 Okay, pal. Goodbye, I'll talk to you later. 87 00:12:50,991 --> 00:12:54,325 ELAINE: Now you know me, I don't like to cause a scene. 88 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:57,878 Hey, fuck you, I don't. 89 00:12:58,358 --> 00:13:01,798 So that night, I decided to have a coming-to-God meeting. 90 00:13:01,878 --> 00:13:05,412 I locked the front door and sent everybody back into the kitchen. 91 00:13:05,492 --> 00:13:09,662 Took down my Saturday Night Special over there. And I said, "Gentlemen... 92 00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:13,086 ...if you want to fuck me, and I know you do... 93 00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:15,499 ...you should buy me dinner first." 94 00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:18,403 Then I drew that peace-maker... (MAKES SHOOTING SOUNDS) 95 00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:22,524 ...two rounds in the ceiling and I said... 96 00:13:23,525 --> 00:13:25,488 "...I know... 97 00:13:25,568 --> 00:13:29,472 ...that all of you are stealing from me. 98 00:13:31,924 --> 00:13:35,558 Just don't get greedy." 99 00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:40,144 And I've been in the black ever since. 100 00:13:40,524 --> 00:13:41,845 (EVERYONE LAUGHS) 101 00:13:41,925 --> 00:13:45,544 I see her standing there, the room was filled with gun smoke. 102 00:13:45,623 --> 00:13:48,911 And everyone's just shitting their goddamn pants. 103 00:13:49,351 --> 00:13:51,624 I tell you, the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. 104 00:13:51,704 --> 00:13:54,512 I wooed him with my feminine charm. 105 00:13:54,591 --> 00:13:57,124 PAULIE: Nothing but class with this one. 106 00:13:57,758 --> 00:13:59,512 Charmed. 107 00:13:59,591 --> 00:14:02,024 ELAINE: You were good to Momma last night. 108 00:14:02,492 --> 00:14:04,994 Lucky! Bloody Maria? 109 00:14:05,074 --> 00:14:06,960 Por favor. 110 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,444 - Lucky! - Hey, Paulie. 111 00:14:09,524 --> 00:14:11,357 What's the good word? 112 00:14:12,425 --> 00:14:15,178 Realism is a thing. 113 00:14:15,258 --> 00:14:17,378 Oh, yeah? How do you mean? 114 00:14:17,458 --> 00:14:21,268 It's the practice of accepting a situation... 115 00:14:21,348 --> 00:14:23,244 ...as it is... 116 00:14:23,457 --> 00:14:28,311 ...and being prepared to deal with it accordingly. 117 00:14:28,391 --> 00:14:32,388 So what you're saying is, "What you see is what you get." 118 00:14:32,468 --> 00:14:35,643 But what you see is not what I get. 119 00:14:35,723 --> 00:14:37,257 PAULIE: Okay. 120 00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:44,044 - LUCKY: Elaine! - What? 121 00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:46,619 LUCKY: Realism is a thing. 122 00:14:46,699 --> 00:14:48,747 - What? - Realism. 123 00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:50,297 PAULIE: Here we go again. 124 00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:54,077 Vincent, hand me my gun. 125 00:14:54,556 --> 00:14:58,224 Easy, partner. You're a misdemeanor fucking with a felony. 126 00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,145 Hey, Howard. 127 00:15:08,225 --> 00:15:11,691 - VINCENT: Howie, what are you drinking? - Something strong. 128 00:15:14,050 --> 00:15:15,545 What's the matter, Howard? 129 00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:19,902 - President Roosevelt escaped. - PAULIE: What are you talking about? 130 00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:22,550 - LUCKY: Presidents. - Which one? 131 00:15:22,630 --> 00:15:24,444 - Roosevelt. - Yeah, which one? 132 00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:28,643 No, my tortoise, President Roosevelt, he escaped. 133 00:15:28,723 --> 00:15:31,377 How does a hundred-year-old tortoise escape? 134 00:15:31,457 --> 00:15:34,010 I left the gate open when I went to check the mail. 135 00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:36,757 Where is your mailbox, Europe? 136 00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,511 (ALL LAUGHING) 137 00:15:38,591 --> 00:15:40,991 I saw him eyeing that gate the other day. 138 00:15:41,737 --> 00:15:44,144 He had to have timed it out perfectly. 139 00:15:44,224 --> 00:15:46,311 I searched our entire neighborhood. 140 00:15:46,391 --> 00:15:48,824 Did you search your entire yard? 141 00:15:49,191 --> 00:15:51,880 Hey, we're talking about his best friend here! 142 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:54,945 - Thank you, Lucky. - You're welcome, Howard. 143 00:15:55,025 --> 00:15:58,090 You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. We shouldn't make fun. 144 00:15:59,357 --> 00:16:03,556 I'm gonna miss him. He's outlived two of my wives. 145 00:16:05,292 --> 00:16:08,325 - I'm going to the W.C. - Okay, pal. 146 00:16:09,957 --> 00:16:11,724 You know... 147 00:16:12,164 --> 00:16:15,776 ...friendship between animals and humans... 148 00:16:15,856 --> 00:16:18,867 ...is essential and special. 149 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,823 And friendship is essential to the soul. 150 00:16:25,057 --> 00:16:26,345 What? 151 00:16:26,425 --> 00:16:29,544 Friendship is essential to the soul. 152 00:16:29,624 --> 00:16:31,623 It doesn't exist! 153 00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:34,500 - What, friendship? - (LOUDLY) The soul! 154 00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:37,823 Hey, knucklehead, inside voices! 155 00:16:38,324 --> 00:16:40,840 Hey, you gonna let your woman talk to me that way? 156 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,745 I'm not his woman. He's my man. 157 00:16:44,424 --> 00:16:48,176 As far as I'm concerned, he's just been renting a room for 30 years. 158 00:16:49,025 --> 00:16:51,945 - Sonny and Cher. - ELAINE: I'll drink to that. 159 00:16:52,025 --> 00:16:54,643 PAULIE: Hey, you know they got divorced. 160 00:16:54,723 --> 00:16:56,924 ELAINE: Good thing we never got married. 161 00:18:14,924 --> 00:18:17,490 - (LOUD THUD) - (CERAMIC SHATTERS) 162 00:18:24,356 --> 00:18:26,411 (LUCKY MOANS) 163 00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,824 LUCKY: Jesus Christ. 164 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,758 (SNEEZING, COUGHING) 165 00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:57,523 Jesus! God, this thing. 166 00:18:58,590 --> 00:19:01,124 Can you... never mind. 167 00:19:03,657 --> 00:19:06,723 Oh, God. Oh, God. 168 00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:10,389 Oh, God. 169 00:19:11,557 --> 00:19:13,025 Why? 170 00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:19,012 - Hey, buddy. How the hell are you doing? - You tell me. 171 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,578 115 over 70, great. 172 00:19:25,658 --> 00:19:27,543 Thank you, Debbie. 173 00:19:32,324 --> 00:19:34,811 No broken bones. That's good. 174 00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:38,811 CT scan was negative, no sign of concussion. 175 00:19:39,191 --> 00:19:42,376 Blood pressure is good, heart is great. 176 00:19:42,456 --> 00:19:44,828 Lungs are great, even though you smoke. 177 00:19:44,908 --> 00:19:48,170 - How many packs a day? - I don't know, maybe one. 178 00:19:48,249 --> 00:19:50,823 Well, I really have no explanation for that. 179 00:19:51,823 --> 00:19:54,376 It's a mystery, some sort of scientific anomaly. 180 00:19:54,456 --> 00:19:57,342 All I can figure is it's a combination of genetic good luck... 181 00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:59,311 ...and you're one tough son of a bitch. 182 00:19:59,391 --> 00:20:01,344 I would try to get you to quit smoking... 183 00:20:01,424 --> 00:20:03,878 ...but I'm afraid it would do you more harm than good. 184 00:20:03,958 --> 00:20:06,257 You're the only person I would say that to. 185 00:20:07,357 --> 00:20:09,210 So, that's it? 186 00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:11,152 To be clear... 187 00:20:11,604 --> 00:20:13,807 ...you were just standing there and you got light-headed? 188 00:20:13,887 --> 00:20:16,476 - I didn't get light-headed. - So you just fell down? 189 00:20:16,556 --> 00:20:18,931 Yeah. It was weird. 190 00:20:20,724 --> 00:20:22,017 Well... 191 00:20:22,097 --> 00:20:25,950 ...I'll wait for these lab tests to come back and then I'll let you know about that. 192 00:20:26,991 --> 00:20:28,806 That's it? 193 00:20:28,886 --> 00:20:31,376 - That's it. - I'm not dying? 194 00:20:31,456 --> 00:20:34,590 When it comes to most things like heart disease or cancer, at your age... 195 00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:37,511 - ...if it was gonna kill you, it would've. - So? 196 00:20:37,591 --> 00:20:41,045 Short of shooting you with a silver bullet or stabbing you with a wooden stake... 197 00:20:41,125 --> 00:20:44,832 ...it seems the older you get, the longer you're gonna live. 198 00:20:44,912 --> 00:20:47,228 So, but why did I fall down? 199 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,877 - Were you drunk? - No. 200 00:20:50,957 --> 00:20:54,583 - Do you get light-headed often? - I don't get light-headed. 201 00:20:54,663 --> 00:20:58,210 - Now do you get much exercise? - Yeah, I walk around all the time. 202 00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:03,474 I do five yoga exercises every day, twenty-one repetitions each, for years. 203 00:21:03,554 --> 00:21:06,623 - Do your knees ever give out? - No. 204 00:21:09,657 --> 00:21:12,310 I could do a lot more tests, but I think it's gonna turn out to be... 205 00:21:12,390 --> 00:21:15,258 - ...exactly what I think it is. - What's that? 206 00:21:15,338 --> 00:21:18,544 You're old, and you're getting older. 207 00:21:18,624 --> 00:21:21,300 - That's your diagnosis? - It's all I got. 208 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:23,810 Well, that's bullshit. 209 00:21:24,757 --> 00:21:27,277 The body is gonna break down at some point. 210 00:21:27,357 --> 00:21:30,710 As far as I know, nobody has lived forever. It's gonna happen to all of us. 211 00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:35,310 I can do more tests, but I don't want to do that and you don't want to have it done. 212 00:21:35,390 --> 00:21:38,222 So what am I supposed to do? 213 00:21:38,556 --> 00:21:41,344 At this point, I think it might be a good idea... 214 00:21:41,424 --> 00:21:43,701 ...to get an assisted living person hooked up. 215 00:21:43,781 --> 00:21:45,670 - What? - Assisted living. 216 00:21:45,750 --> 00:21:48,945 They come by and they help you cook meals, help you bathe. 217 00:21:49,025 --> 00:21:51,711 Oh, I don't know, I'm on my own. 218 00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:54,143 You never get lonely being alone? 219 00:21:54,223 --> 00:21:58,470 There is a difference between being lonely and alone. 220 00:22:00,091 --> 00:22:02,744 You know, I saw this happen with my father. 221 00:22:03,024 --> 00:22:06,444 He started to lose his eyesight, and with it his ability to drive. 222 00:22:06,524 --> 00:22:10,812 It wasn't getting older that bothered him, it was the loss of his freedom, his mobility. 223 00:22:11,291 --> 00:22:15,111 It's all fine as long as you realize it's all part of the process. 224 00:22:17,157 --> 00:22:18,977 Well, how is your old man? 225 00:22:19,057 --> 00:22:21,856 Oh, buddy, he died a year ago. 226 00:22:23,243 --> 00:22:24,791 Wow. 227 00:22:26,691 --> 00:22:28,491 It was peaceful. 228 00:22:34,423 --> 00:22:36,276 You know, most people don't get to where you are. 229 00:22:36,356 --> 00:22:39,076 They get hit by a bus or get leukemia or something. 230 00:22:39,156 --> 00:22:42,144 They never get to the moment that you're in right now. 231 00:22:42,224 --> 00:22:45,737 We have the ability to witness what you're going through, and clearly examine it... 232 00:22:45,817 --> 00:22:48,690 ...and, more importantly, to accept it. 233 00:22:49,723 --> 00:22:51,745 I know that's kind of heavy for this hour of the morning... 234 00:22:51,825 --> 00:22:54,041 ...but you're in exceptional health for a person your age... 235 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:57,689 ...and if you need anything whatsoever, you call me or you just come by. 236 00:22:58,758 --> 00:23:00,257 Okay. 237 00:23:00,991 --> 00:23:04,246 You've been very good today, so you get one of these. 238 00:23:05,090 --> 00:23:07,491 What do I do with this, stick it up my ass? 239 00:23:08,424 --> 00:23:10,224 How about you just suck it? 240 00:23:28,551 --> 00:23:30,390 Oh, boy. 241 00:24:01,989 --> 00:24:03,291 You're nothing! 242 00:24:06,491 --> 00:24:08,057 LUCKY: Yeah. 243 00:24:28,874 --> 00:24:30,577 Everyday with this guy. 244 00:24:30,657 --> 00:24:33,143 Kneedler said it was all right for me to smoke. 245 00:24:33,223 --> 00:24:35,560 Not in here. 246 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,744 - And when did Kneedler ever say that? - This morning. 247 00:24:38,824 --> 00:24:41,844 JOE: Oh, you know, I was getting a little worried. 248 00:24:41,924 --> 00:24:45,289 Bet you was getting that prostate checked. 249 00:24:45,990 --> 00:24:48,190 I fell. 250 00:24:49,391 --> 00:24:51,824 On my bony ass, I fell. 251 00:24:58,290 --> 00:25:01,427 - Are you okay? - That's subjective. 252 00:25:01,507 --> 00:25:05,277 Pam! Loretta! Lucky fell down! 253 00:25:05,357 --> 00:25:07,878 Let's not make a production out of it! 254 00:25:07,957 --> 00:25:11,010 - Well, what did Kneedler say? - He said I'm old. 255 00:25:11,790 --> 00:25:14,810 - And that's news to you? - LORETTA: Did he give you anything? 256 00:25:14,890 --> 00:25:17,910 I don't know, man, it's all bullshit. 257 00:25:17,990 --> 00:25:19,624 JOE: Wait, where you going? 258 00:25:52,424 --> 00:25:53,924 Cunts! 259 00:26:02,357 --> 00:26:05,224 - Buenos días. - Buenos días. 260 00:26:06,024 --> 00:26:08,457 Give me three packs today, honey. 261 00:26:18,291 --> 00:26:20,491 Here you go, keep the change. 262 00:26:24,657 --> 00:26:26,326 Are you okay? 263 00:26:26,855 --> 00:26:28,723 (WHISPERS) I don't know. 264 00:26:31,291 --> 00:26:35,109 You know, Juan Wayne's birthday is on Saturday. 265 00:26:35,189 --> 00:26:38,776 - Oh, yeah? - We're gonna have a big fiesta... 266 00:26:38,855 --> 00:26:43,955 ...with a bouncy house, piñata, mariachis, and lots of food. 267 00:26:44,624 --> 00:26:46,491 Mariachis, huh? 268 00:26:50,690 --> 00:26:52,730 Do you want to come? 269 00:26:53,524 --> 00:26:55,544 To the fiesta? 270 00:26:55,624 --> 00:26:57,190 Saturday. 271 00:26:58,490 --> 00:27:01,492 - And where is it? - It's at my home. 272 00:27:03,120 --> 00:27:05,569 - You know where the school is? - Yeah. 273 00:27:05,649 --> 00:27:07,909 It's the yellow house right behind the school. 274 00:27:07,989 --> 00:27:09,822 Oh, yeah. 275 00:27:10,457 --> 00:27:12,312 Well... 276 00:27:12,392 --> 00:27:15,413 ...let's keep it on the burner, okay? 277 00:27:15,972 --> 00:27:19,883 - Okay. - Gracias. Adiós. 278 00:27:20,256 --> 00:27:23,311 HOST: (OVER TV) And now we're bringing it over to you, Lisa. 279 00:27:23,990 --> 00:27:26,109 What is the answer to the question? 280 00:27:26,189 --> 00:27:31,277 LISA: Is it April 16, 1746, the Battle of Culloden? 281 00:27:31,357 --> 00:27:35,344 HOST: The answer to that question... we'll have to wait until tomorrow. 282 00:27:35,424 --> 00:27:38,640 Thank you for joining us and we'll see you all tomorrow on... 283 00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,524 ...Make a Guess. 284 00:28:07,624 --> 00:28:09,657 (TV CLICKS OFF) 285 00:28:42,524 --> 00:28:44,723 Hey, man, how you doing? 286 00:28:47,923 --> 00:28:49,490 Okay. 287 00:28:50,923 --> 00:28:54,544 Hey, uh, I was just thinking about something... 288 00:28:54,624 --> 00:28:56,823 ...I wanted to share with you, man. 289 00:28:59,257 --> 00:29:01,092 You got a minute? 290 00:29:01,674 --> 00:29:04,964 Yeah. When I was a kid living in Kentucky... 291 00:29:05,646 --> 00:29:08,310 ...I had this BB gun. 292 00:29:08,390 --> 00:29:10,424 It didn't shoot straight. 293 00:29:12,090 --> 00:29:16,610 So I was out one day shooting at things, trees, leaves. 294 00:29:18,722 --> 00:29:23,521 And there was a mockingbird up in a tree singing his heart out. 295 00:29:25,856 --> 00:29:27,356 And... 296 00:29:27,823 --> 00:29:31,690 I aimed my gun just to scare him away... 297 00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,570 ...pulled the trigger... 298 00:29:35,123 --> 00:29:37,363 ...and the singing stopped. 299 00:29:40,924 --> 00:29:43,798 It was the saddest moment in my whole life. 300 00:29:46,857 --> 00:29:49,749 The silence it cast in the world... 301 00:29:51,099 --> 00:29:52,927 ...was devastating. 302 00:29:59,823 --> 00:30:04,245 I haven't thought about that bird since I was a kid. 303 00:30:08,190 --> 00:30:09,990 I know. 304 00:30:12,557 --> 00:30:14,424 All right. 305 00:30:15,823 --> 00:30:17,622 Thanks, man. 306 00:30:18,556 --> 00:30:20,557 (PHONE CLICKS ON CRADLE) 307 00:30:54,103 --> 00:30:56,049 You been watching Deal or no Deal? 308 00:30:57,223 --> 00:30:59,216 Are you kidding, it makes no sense. 309 00:30:59,296 --> 00:31:03,416 Come on, man, you gotta give it a second chance. It is... 310 00:31:05,204 --> 00:31:07,009 Listen, listen, check it out. 311 00:31:07,089 --> 00:31:10,240 You start with 50 briefcases... 312 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,943 ...right, held by 50 hot chicks. 313 00:31:13,023 --> 00:31:16,944 Right? And inside each briefcase, all 50... 314 00:31:17,024 --> 00:31:21,388 ...is a number and that number is how much money you're gonna win... 315 00:31:21,468 --> 00:31:23,377 ...if you open that case. 316 00:31:23,457 --> 00:31:26,277 So you choose one case at the beginning of the game... 317 00:31:26,357 --> 00:31:28,376 ...that you're gonna open up at the end of the game. 318 00:31:28,456 --> 00:31:31,376 And then you systematically open up all the briefcases... 319 00:31:31,456 --> 00:31:34,111 ...and the hot chicks show you how much money you could have won. 320 00:31:34,191 --> 00:31:37,010 And the whole time, there's this hidden guy... 321 00:31:37,090 --> 00:31:41,043 ...and he's sitting off stage and he's offering to buy the case that you chose. 322 00:31:41,123 --> 00:31:45,443 So by the end of the game, you've opened up all the cases except two. 323 00:31:45,522 --> 00:31:48,874 And you have to decide whether to take the money from the hidden guy... 324 00:31:48,954 --> 00:31:52,877 ...the money that's already in your case or the case that you haven't chosen yet. 325 00:31:52,957 --> 00:31:56,425 But you don't know what's in your case or the case you haven't chosen... 326 00:31:56,504 --> 00:31:59,156 ...until you actually open it. 327 00:32:00,589 --> 00:32:05,844 So a guy picks a case and I've gotta wait a fucking hour to see what's in it? 328 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:07,391 Yeah. 329 00:32:08,522 --> 00:32:11,989 It's a convoluted piece of shit. 330 00:32:25,423 --> 00:32:27,894 Lucky, how you doing, buddy? 331 00:32:28,690 --> 00:32:30,810 I haven't a clue, man. 332 00:32:31,390 --> 00:32:34,371 - Someone's in a mood. - Leave him be. He'll snap out of it. 333 00:32:34,451 --> 00:32:36,109 Right, pal? 334 00:32:36,189 --> 00:32:38,776 - ELAINE: Two more cases? - VINCENT: Yeah, that'll do. 335 00:32:38,856 --> 00:32:41,675 - If you want, I can... - Watch me lift stuff? 336 00:32:41,755 --> 00:32:45,024 Can I help it if I have a strong mind, but a weak back? 337 00:32:46,455 --> 00:32:48,023 Sit. 338 00:32:56,256 --> 00:33:00,209 I know that look. Used to see it all the time. 339 00:33:00,289 --> 00:33:04,709 You know where? In the mirror, my reflection staring back at me. 340 00:33:04,789 --> 00:33:08,311 - VINCENT: And then he met Elaine. - Hey, who's telling the story? 341 00:33:08,391 --> 00:33:10,943 I'm sorry, but it hasn't exactly been un-told. 342 00:33:11,023 --> 00:33:13,609 I've told this? You've heard this before from me? When? 343 00:33:13,689 --> 00:33:16,776 All the time, that's when. I bet he's heard it, too. 344 00:33:16,856 --> 00:33:20,277 - I've told this? You've heard this? - Ungatz. 345 00:33:20,956 --> 00:33:24,223 Holy shit, that's right! Ungatz. 346 00:33:24,303 --> 00:33:26,985 - Nothing. I was nothing. - You were a bum. 347 00:33:27,065 --> 00:33:30,043 PAULIE: I was a bum. I had no plans. I had no ambitions. 348 00:33:30,123 --> 00:33:31,877 - A two-bit hustler. - PAULIE: That was me. 349 00:33:31,957 --> 00:33:33,876 - And you knew it. - PAULIE: I did. 350 00:33:33,956 --> 00:33:37,554 I'd look into the mirror and all I'd see was ungatz. 351 00:33:38,057 --> 00:33:39,924 I hated myself. 352 00:33:41,689 --> 00:33:44,884 - And then what happened? - You met Elaine. 353 00:33:44,964 --> 00:33:47,943 Jesus, I can't believe it, you really listen to me. 354 00:33:48,023 --> 00:33:50,028 - That's amazing. - (LAUGHTER) 355 00:33:50,957 --> 00:33:54,844 Anyway, I met... I met this fantastic woman. 356 00:33:54,924 --> 00:33:59,509 And she met a bum, a deadbeat. Did she try to change me? No. 357 00:33:59,589 --> 00:34:02,842 Did she expect me to change myself? No. 358 00:34:02,922 --> 00:34:05,829 - She accepted me for who I was. - Who you are. 359 00:34:05,909 --> 00:34:07,859 Who I am. 360 00:34:07,939 --> 00:34:10,475 I'm still ungatz, nothing. 361 00:34:10,555 --> 00:34:13,641 But I've got everything. 362 00:34:13,721 --> 00:34:16,744 - Isn't that something? - Something for you. 363 00:34:16,824 --> 00:34:20,997 No, what I'm trying to say is, if this could happen, you know, to me... 364 00:34:21,077 --> 00:34:22,710 ...then it could happen to anyone. 365 00:34:22,790 --> 00:34:24,619 - Even you. - (SNICKERS) 366 00:34:25,099 --> 00:34:26,622 Bullshit. 367 00:34:40,990 --> 00:34:43,375 Jesus Christ. 368 00:34:43,455 --> 00:34:48,076 MAN: I believe we can just get by with a will and a medical power of attorney. 369 00:34:48,156 --> 00:34:51,189 Howard, where have you been? I've been waiting for you. 370 00:34:52,550 --> 00:34:53,509 Who's this? 371 00:34:53,589 --> 00:34:57,309 Hey, Lucky. This here is my attorney Bobby Lawrence. 372 00:34:57,388 --> 00:34:59,495 - Nice to meet you, Lucky. - LUCKY: Hello. 373 00:35:00,355 --> 00:35:02,981 You know why sharks don't eat attorneys? 374 00:35:04,190 --> 00:35:06,823 - Uh... - Professional courtesy. 375 00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:11,224 Right, that's an oldie but a goodie. 376 00:35:12,816 --> 00:35:14,976 So did you come here to help find Roosevelt? 377 00:35:15,056 --> 00:35:17,876 No, he's here to help me with my plan. 378 00:35:17,956 --> 00:35:20,676 - What plan? - End-of-life plan. 379 00:35:20,956 --> 00:35:22,543 Are you dying? 380 00:35:22,623 --> 00:35:25,295 No, he's just preparing for the unexpected. 381 00:35:25,375 --> 00:35:27,623 What's unexpected? 382 00:35:28,757 --> 00:35:32,442 Well, I mean, none of us make it out of this thing alive. 383 00:35:32,522 --> 00:35:35,849 So, knowing that, it'd be a sin not to prepare for the well-being... 384 00:35:35,929 --> 00:35:37,788 ...of your loved ones. 385 00:35:42,156 --> 00:35:44,443 What loved ones do you have, anyway? 386 00:35:44,523 --> 00:35:49,388 When I go, I want to leave all my possessions to President Roosevelt. 387 00:35:50,173 --> 00:35:52,781 - Your turtle? - Well, you know, this might not... 388 00:35:52,861 --> 00:35:57,430 Tortoise! And he's still got at least 100 years left in him. 389 00:35:57,510 --> 00:36:00,610 - A hundred years? - HOWARD: Yeah. 390 00:36:00,690 --> 00:36:04,638 - You know, Lucky, you remind me... - Shut the fuck up! 391 00:36:11,289 --> 00:36:12,790 Okay. 392 00:36:21,489 --> 00:36:23,710 Didn't Roosevelt just run away? 393 00:36:24,389 --> 00:36:28,542 Yeah, but this is for, you know, when he comes back. 394 00:36:29,089 --> 00:36:32,542 - Is he a homing turtle? - Tortoise. And no, he's not. 395 00:36:32,622 --> 00:36:36,211 He's gone, Howard, and you're all alone. 396 00:36:36,290 --> 00:36:39,214 We come in alone, and we go out alone. 397 00:36:39,293 --> 00:36:41,276 That's awfully bleak. 398 00:36:41,356 --> 00:36:43,576 It's beautiful. 399 00:36:44,255 --> 00:36:47,943 "Alone" comes from two words, all-one. 400 00:36:48,023 --> 00:36:50,976 - It's in the dictionary. - I miss him! 401 00:36:51,056 --> 00:36:52,878 It'll be okay, Howie. 402 00:36:53,657 --> 00:36:56,542 A tortoise is an amazing creature, Lucky. 403 00:36:56,622 --> 00:37:00,876 They're as noble as a king, and as kindhearted as a grandmother. 404 00:37:00,956 --> 00:37:04,243 I miss my friend, his company. 405 00:37:04,323 --> 00:37:05,876 I miss his personality. 406 00:37:05,956 --> 00:37:08,243 He's not missing, Howard. He's just not here. 407 00:37:08,323 --> 00:37:10,675 He's there, wherever the fuck that is. 408 00:37:10,755 --> 00:37:13,043 And if he's not there, then he's nowhere. 409 00:37:13,123 --> 00:37:16,906 - Well, I'm sure he's okay. - Why don't you go fuck yourself? 410 00:37:16,986 --> 00:37:18,199 Oh! 411 00:37:18,279 --> 00:37:21,371 You don't give a shit about him. You're just here to suck him dry. 412 00:37:21,451 --> 00:37:25,543 You lamprey, leach, vulture. 413 00:37:26,023 --> 00:37:29,780 Con him out of his last dime, just to leave everything to a turtle. 414 00:37:29,860 --> 00:37:33,010 Tortoise! He's a tortoise! 415 00:37:33,369 --> 00:37:35,675 You know that saguaro near your yard? 416 00:37:35,755 --> 00:37:38,876 That thing was barely a twig when Roosevelt was born. 417 00:37:38,956 --> 00:37:43,455 They're contemporaries, you know? They watched each other grow up. 418 00:37:45,089 --> 00:37:48,676 President Roosevelt was born in a hole in the desert. 419 00:37:48,756 --> 00:37:52,154 At that time, a little creature smaller than my thumb. 420 00:37:52,889 --> 00:37:56,010 And something clicked inside that little Roosevelt brain... 421 00:37:56,090 --> 00:38:00,356 ...and he scampered up out of that hole and faced the world. 422 00:38:01,689 --> 00:38:04,709 You all think of a tortoise as something slow. 423 00:38:04,789 --> 00:38:08,077 But I think about the burden he has to carry on his back. 424 00:38:08,856 --> 00:38:11,009 Yeah, it's for protection. 425 00:38:11,089 --> 00:38:14,511 But ultimately, it's the coffin he's gonna get buried in... 426 00:38:15,390 --> 00:38:18,657 ...and he has to drag that thing around his entire life? 427 00:38:19,690 --> 00:38:21,895 Go ahead and laugh... 428 00:38:21,975 --> 00:38:23,829 ...but he affected me. 429 00:38:24,373 --> 00:38:27,635 You know what I'm saying? He affected me. 430 00:38:28,622 --> 00:38:31,073 There are some things in this universe, ladies and gentlemen... 431 00:38:31,152 --> 00:38:35,356 ...that are bigger than all of us. And a tortoise is one of 'em! 432 00:38:48,789 --> 00:38:51,188 You asshole. 433 00:38:52,989 --> 00:38:55,175 I want to teach you a lesson. 434 00:38:55,855 --> 00:38:58,309 WOMAN: Lucky! No fighting in my bar, goddammit! 435 00:38:58,389 --> 00:39:01,442 - Then we'll take it outside. - MAN: Seriously, Lucky? 436 00:39:01,522 --> 00:39:04,916 You know, Mr... Mr. Lucky, I... 437 00:39:04,996 --> 00:39:07,555 - ...I don't think... - You don't think I can take you? 438 00:39:08,490 --> 00:39:11,343 I fought the fucking Japs! You don't think I can take you? 439 00:39:11,423 --> 00:39:15,222 No. I don't think it's a good idea for you. 440 00:39:15,924 --> 00:39:19,876 Outside. Five minutes. Fisticuffs. 441 00:39:19,956 --> 00:39:22,623 - Lucky... - Five minutes! 442 00:39:24,655 --> 00:39:26,155 Lucky? 443 00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:28,832 Lucky! 444 00:39:34,723 --> 00:39:36,142 Is he coming out? 445 00:39:36,222 --> 00:39:38,847 Are you kidding? He doesn't wanna fight you. 446 00:39:38,927 --> 00:39:43,092 - I wouldn't want to fight me, either, pal. - Easy, Lash LaRue. 447 00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:44,764 Let him live this time, okay? 448 00:39:44,844 --> 00:39:48,088 Forty years ago, I wouldn't have given him a fuckin' option. 449 00:39:48,168 --> 00:39:51,222 Forty years ago, he'd have been in diapers. 450 00:39:53,222 --> 00:39:55,839 Forget about him! Okay? 451 00:39:57,355 --> 00:39:58,922 Okay. 452 00:40:02,256 --> 00:40:04,457 (DISTANT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 453 00:40:11,189 --> 00:40:12,936 Where you going? 454 00:40:19,155 --> 00:40:20,957 Go home, Lucky. 455 00:40:24,356 --> 00:40:26,675 (ROCK MUSIC GETS LOUDER) 456 00:40:36,089 --> 00:40:37,670 Paulie? 457 00:40:52,043 --> 00:40:54,056 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) 458 00:41:39,586 --> 00:41:41,608 (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) 459 00:41:55,605 --> 00:41:57,629 (MUSIC STOPS) 460 00:42:17,856 --> 00:42:19,899 (PHONE RINGING) 461 00:42:44,123 --> 00:42:45,873 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 462 00:45:27,255 --> 00:45:29,122 LORETTA: Hey, there! 463 00:45:30,189 --> 00:45:31,988 How ya' doing? 464 00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:34,353 How did you get here? 465 00:45:34,822 --> 00:45:37,998 - I... drove? - How did you know where I live? 466 00:45:38,078 --> 00:45:40,673 - Everybody knows where you live. - They do? 467 00:45:40,752 --> 00:45:43,788 This is a tiny town. Don't you know where I live? 468 00:45:45,489 --> 00:45:47,443 Yeah, over by the church? 469 00:45:47,523 --> 00:45:48,823 There you go. 470 00:45:50,189 --> 00:45:52,644 So, what do you want? 471 00:45:53,223 --> 00:45:56,405 Well, I was worried about you so I thought I'd come by and check on you. 472 00:45:58,655 --> 00:46:00,529 You're welcome. 473 00:46:00,609 --> 00:46:02,861 Nice outfit there, cowboy. 474 00:46:07,589 --> 00:46:09,589 Thanks for coming by. 475 00:46:23,623 --> 00:46:27,243 Jesus Christ. How'd you get in here? I thought you'd left. 476 00:46:27,323 --> 00:46:30,809 I'm sorry, I knocked, the door was unlocked. 477 00:46:31,289 --> 00:46:33,322 You scared me to death. 478 00:46:36,789 --> 00:46:39,040 You were such a cute, little boy. 479 00:46:42,246 --> 00:46:45,355 And such a handsome young man in uniform. 480 00:46:48,555 --> 00:46:51,845 This photo at the beach, are these your kids? 481 00:46:52,355 --> 00:46:53,922 No. 482 00:46:55,423 --> 00:46:57,804 - Were you ever married? - No. 483 00:46:59,193 --> 00:47:00,799 Were you? 484 00:47:02,055 --> 00:47:03,625 No. 485 00:47:06,323 --> 00:47:10,392 - You got somewhere to be, sailor? - Uh... no. 486 00:47:13,655 --> 00:47:15,489 Do you like game shows? 487 00:47:18,189 --> 00:47:19,893 Do you smoke grass? 488 00:47:35,256 --> 00:47:37,575 LORETTA: This isn't a game show. 489 00:47:37,655 --> 00:47:39,455 LUCKY: It's ended. 490 00:47:51,721 --> 00:47:55,877 This... he is amazing. Who is this? 491 00:47:55,957 --> 00:47:58,042 Liberace. Didn't you ever hear of him? 492 00:47:58,122 --> 00:48:01,171 Yes, I've heard of him. 493 00:48:01,251 --> 00:48:03,050 He's wonderful. 494 00:48:03,655 --> 00:48:05,943 LUCKY: I feel like such an asshole. 495 00:48:06,572 --> 00:48:08,805 When this guy first came on the scene... 496 00:48:09,755 --> 00:48:12,988 ...I wrote him off as just another extravagant fruit. 497 00:48:14,072 --> 00:48:17,212 If you stop and listen to him, you'll see he's brilliant! 498 00:48:17,621 --> 00:48:21,282 And I don't know how the hell he plays with all those rings on his fingers... 499 00:48:21,362 --> 00:48:23,343 ...that's even more impressive. 500 00:48:24,722 --> 00:48:26,569 Look at him. 501 00:48:28,156 --> 00:48:33,222 I don't know why I ever gave a shit about who he was screwing in the first place. 502 00:48:34,522 --> 00:48:36,986 If he was getting laid, more power to him. 503 00:48:41,357 --> 00:48:43,989 Hmm, I can hardly get it up anymore. 504 00:48:47,554 --> 00:48:49,992 LIBERACE: (OVER TV) I hope I didn't leave anybody out. 505 00:48:50,989 --> 00:48:53,975 Oh, we did leave out somebody. All you kids... 506 00:48:54,055 --> 00:48:57,363 Oh, shit, I gotta go. I'm late. I gotta get back to the diner. 507 00:48:57,443 --> 00:48:59,456 Joe is going to kill me. 508 00:49:01,956 --> 00:49:03,688 All right. 509 00:49:12,754 --> 00:49:14,590 LIBERACE: Bunch of liars. (LAUGHTER) 510 00:49:17,089 --> 00:49:19,199 - I'll see you later. - Okay. 511 00:49:19,279 --> 00:49:20,808 Bye. 512 00:49:21,288 --> 00:49:23,342 - Hey. - Yeah? 513 00:49:24,188 --> 00:49:26,444 Can I tell you a secret? 514 00:49:26,923 --> 00:49:28,522 LORETTA: Absolutely. 515 00:49:29,888 --> 00:49:32,688 You won't tell anyone? 516 00:49:40,323 --> 00:49:42,155 I'm scared. 517 00:49:47,489 --> 00:49:49,322 I know. 518 00:49:51,722 --> 00:49:53,522 I know. 519 00:50:24,488 --> 00:50:27,175 Did you ever think about before you were born? 520 00:50:28,555 --> 00:50:30,842 JOE: No, never did. 521 00:50:31,466 --> 00:50:33,321 What are you talking about? 522 00:50:34,489 --> 00:50:36,323 New beginning. 523 00:50:38,655 --> 00:50:42,291 Is that... in the crossword today? 524 00:50:42,722 --> 00:50:44,217 No. 525 00:50:45,347 --> 00:50:49,050 I was just thinking about something that happened to me when I was about... 526 00:50:49,130 --> 00:50:51,555 ...12 or 13 years old. 527 00:50:52,323 --> 00:50:54,588 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 528 00:50:56,222 --> 00:50:58,908 I was at my Aunt Beulah's house, alone. 529 00:50:58,988 --> 00:51:00,821 I don't remember why. 530 00:51:02,521 --> 00:51:06,576 And only once, I got this anxiety attack. 531 00:51:06,656 --> 00:51:10,708 I panicked and I was scared to death. I started thinking there's nothing out there. 532 00:51:10,788 --> 00:51:13,222 It's all black, there's nothing. 533 00:51:14,855 --> 00:51:18,295 And I was... I was scared shitless, man. 534 00:51:19,589 --> 00:51:21,242 13? 535 00:51:21,322 --> 00:51:22,821 Yeah. 536 00:51:26,589 --> 00:51:28,421 What happened? 537 00:51:29,555 --> 00:51:33,180 I don't know, my aunt came back and that was the end of it. 538 00:51:35,454 --> 00:51:37,475 (DOOR OPENS) 539 00:51:37,555 --> 00:51:41,276 - Hey, Bob, how we doing? - BOBBY: Little bit worse, I'd be perfect. 540 00:51:41,355 --> 00:51:43,188 JOE: Sit anywhere you like. 541 00:51:52,022 --> 00:51:55,674 Hey, you know what, Joe? I'll just take a coffee to go. 542 00:51:55,754 --> 00:51:58,676 Oh, okay. Well, I got a pot brewing. 543 00:51:58,756 --> 00:52:00,555 It'll be a minute. 544 00:52:01,388 --> 00:52:03,188 All right. 545 00:52:08,622 --> 00:52:10,191 Morning. 546 00:52:11,185 --> 00:52:12,769 Hi. 547 00:52:14,189 --> 00:52:15,755 Howdy. 548 00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:25,788 So, no, uh... no sign of The President yet. 549 00:52:26,522 --> 00:52:29,147 I hope he turns up soon, for Howard's sake. The two of them... 550 00:52:29,227 --> 00:52:31,592 - ...are like heterosexual partners. - Only one thing worse... 551 00:52:31,672 --> 00:52:33,871 ...than awkward silence... 552 00:52:34,554 --> 00:52:36,358 ...small talk. 553 00:52:40,956 --> 00:52:42,823 Okay, I hear you. 554 00:52:58,254 --> 00:53:00,056 So you doing okay? 555 00:53:01,955 --> 00:53:03,541 Fragile. 556 00:53:03,621 --> 00:53:05,188 Oh. 557 00:53:06,989 --> 00:53:08,076 Why is that? 558 00:53:09,654 --> 00:53:11,676 I fell down. 559 00:53:11,756 --> 00:53:15,008 Ooh, yeah, yeah, that's... that's bad. 560 00:53:15,088 --> 00:53:17,517 Yup. It rung my bell. 561 00:53:21,588 --> 00:53:23,674 A couple years ago... 562 00:53:23,754 --> 00:53:27,241 ...I was heading to my daughter's school to pick her up. 563 00:53:27,321 --> 00:53:31,185 And as I'm turning around the corner, you know, going to the parking lot... 564 00:53:31,264 --> 00:53:33,308 ...there's a garbage truck that... 565 00:53:33,388 --> 00:53:36,078 ...I mean, just barely missed me. 566 00:53:36,588 --> 00:53:40,570 There was no more room between my car and that truck than between me and this tie. 567 00:53:41,022 --> 00:53:42,857 A half a second... 568 00:53:43,738 --> 00:53:46,380 ...a half a second made all the difference. 569 00:53:48,389 --> 00:53:52,864 Two minutes later, my daughter hops into the car as if nothing's happened, and... 570 00:53:54,322 --> 00:53:56,388 ...I guess nothing has. 571 00:53:57,455 --> 00:53:59,288 But, uh... 572 00:54:03,855 --> 00:54:05,863 ...it really shook me to the core. 573 00:54:09,023 --> 00:54:13,428 Yeah, I got hair standing up on my arms just thinking about it. 574 00:54:15,088 --> 00:54:18,409 - Here we go, Bob. - Oh, thank you. 575 00:54:18,489 --> 00:54:20,375 Gratis, counselor. 576 00:54:20,855 --> 00:54:22,688 Thanks, Joe. 577 00:54:23,755 --> 00:54:25,548 Do you mind if I sit down? 578 00:54:27,022 --> 00:54:28,685 Well, sit down. 579 00:54:31,422 --> 00:54:33,605 Do you have any kids, Lucky? 580 00:54:34,722 --> 00:54:37,787 None that I'm totally sure of, no. 581 00:54:38,589 --> 00:54:41,309 - You married? - Never been married. 582 00:54:41,389 --> 00:54:43,254 Ever in love? 583 00:54:44,188 --> 00:54:46,009 Yeah, I guess so. 584 00:54:46,089 --> 00:54:48,462 Ah, so it goes, huh? 585 00:54:54,122 --> 00:54:56,195 Well, "The future's not ours to see." 586 00:54:57,654 --> 00:54:59,875 Hell, I've made a whole career out of that. 587 00:55:00,654 --> 00:55:04,209 Wills and trusts, you know, it's about planning for things that you can't foresee. 588 00:55:04,289 --> 00:55:07,809 Just because you can't see 'em, doesn't mean they're not gonna happen. 589 00:55:07,889 --> 00:55:11,833 - It is written. - Mm-hm, somewhere. 590 00:55:14,288 --> 00:55:17,341 You know, I came home with my daughter that day... 591 00:55:17,421 --> 00:55:19,626 ...and I sat down, I made a will. 592 00:55:19,856 --> 00:55:23,662 I wrote end-of-life directives, I upped my life insurance. 593 00:55:24,121 --> 00:55:26,387 I paid up front for my cremation. 594 00:55:27,023 --> 00:55:29,638 So now, if something happens to me... 595 00:55:34,756 --> 00:55:37,076 ...when something happens to me... 596 00:55:38,055 --> 00:55:43,139 ...my family doesn't have to worry about the bureaucracy of death. 597 00:55:43,821 --> 00:55:45,654 You know? 598 00:55:46,088 --> 00:55:48,108 They just call one number... 599 00:55:48,988 --> 00:55:50,784 ...and my body's gone by the end of the day... 600 00:55:50,864 --> 00:55:54,679 ...and they don't have to worry about anything for the rest of their life. 601 00:55:54,989 --> 00:55:58,909 Well, this doesn't change anything for you, this scenario. 602 00:55:58,989 --> 00:56:02,655 - Why not? - You're still dead. 603 00:57:05,121 --> 00:57:08,987 How are you doin'? Hey, how you doing, sweetheart? 604 00:57:14,922 --> 00:57:16,862 Hey, Lucky. 605 00:57:17,621 --> 00:57:20,075 - What's her name? - Fiona. 606 00:57:20,555 --> 00:57:24,175 Hey, Fiona, you're a fine cut of a dog. 607 00:57:24,855 --> 00:57:26,607 - Yeah. - Do you have any pets? 608 00:57:26,687 --> 00:57:29,172 - No. - You ever think about adopting one? 609 00:57:29,252 --> 00:57:30,458 No. 610 00:57:30,538 --> 00:57:33,175 I got plenty inside who need a forever home. 611 00:57:33,255 --> 00:57:35,341 A what? What's a forever home? 612 00:57:35,421 --> 00:57:39,202 That's when someone adopts an animal and then they have a permanent place to live. 613 00:57:40,688 --> 00:57:42,338 Nothing is permanent. 614 00:57:43,522 --> 00:57:45,721 Come inside, I'll show you around. 615 00:57:52,654 --> 00:57:54,768 It's like the wild kingdom in here. 616 00:57:55,187 --> 00:57:56,836 Aren't they beautiful? 617 00:57:56,916 --> 00:57:59,855 Yeah, and loud. 618 00:58:05,234 --> 00:58:09,207 - Do you have any mockingbirds? - No, but I can order you one. 619 00:58:09,287 --> 00:58:11,120 No, thanks. 620 00:58:18,489 --> 00:58:22,108 - LUCKY: Are these tortoises? - FRANCES: No, they're baby turtles. 621 00:58:23,187 --> 00:58:25,641 My friend Howard's tortoise ran away. 622 00:58:25,721 --> 00:58:28,342 - Oh, no. - Yeah. 623 00:58:28,875 --> 00:58:31,174 He said they could live to be 100 years. 624 00:58:31,254 --> 00:58:34,275 Oh, absolutely. In some cases, I've heard of 200 years. 625 00:58:34,355 --> 00:58:36,008 - Oh, really? - Yeah. 626 00:58:36,088 --> 00:58:37,655 Wow. 627 00:58:41,856 --> 00:58:44,305 - And what are these? - Crickets. 628 00:58:45,489 --> 00:58:47,374 Can you adopt these, as well? 629 00:58:47,454 --> 00:58:50,508 No. People buy them to feed their reptiles. 630 00:58:50,588 --> 00:58:52,087 Oh. 631 00:58:53,454 --> 00:58:55,321 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 632 00:58:58,519 --> 00:59:00,521 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 633 01:00:42,087 --> 01:00:44,955 LORETTA: Good morning, darling. Anywhere you like. 634 01:00:59,288 --> 01:01:01,117 Marines, huh? 635 01:01:01,847 --> 01:01:03,696 Yes, sir. 636 01:01:04,522 --> 01:01:07,192 - You? - Navy. 637 01:01:09,021 --> 01:01:11,993 Okay, okay. You guys are great. 638 01:01:12,554 --> 01:01:14,937 You always gave us a lift to the fight. 639 01:01:17,054 --> 01:01:20,608 I read somewhere where the Marines didn't have the mental capacity... 640 01:01:20,688 --> 01:01:23,588 ...to understand the inner workings of a ship. 641 01:01:25,521 --> 01:01:27,488 World War II, huh? 642 01:01:28,088 --> 01:01:30,976 - Pacific. - Yeah, same here. 643 01:01:31,546 --> 01:01:33,853 Did you ever get around the Philippines? 644 01:01:35,255 --> 01:01:39,242 Yeah, I spent a couple years in that slice of heaven. 645 01:01:39,322 --> 01:01:42,871 Yeah, me, too, but I never got off the boat. 646 01:01:42,951 --> 01:01:44,708 Consider yourself lucky. 647 01:01:46,089 --> 01:01:48,275 Can I get you a cup of coffee? 648 01:01:48,355 --> 01:01:50,842 - Yes, please, black. - Mm-hm. 649 01:01:51,911 --> 01:01:55,808 - FRED: A piece of that apple pie? - Absolutely. You want that warmed up? 650 01:01:55,888 --> 01:01:56,975 - No. - All right. 651 01:01:57,055 --> 01:01:58,921 Thank you, though. 652 01:02:03,987 --> 01:02:07,920 Well, uh, mind if I come over and join you? 653 01:02:08,804 --> 01:02:11,438 No. Come on over here. 654 01:02:19,521 --> 01:02:21,108 Fred Sparks. 655 01:02:21,188 --> 01:02:22,988 They call me Lucky. 656 01:02:23,854 --> 01:02:28,922 I was a cook. On paper, that's supposed to be the easiest job in the Navy. 657 01:02:29,002 --> 01:02:32,972 - That's why they called me Lucky. - What were you riding in? 658 01:02:33,052 --> 01:02:34,655 L-S-T. 659 01:02:34,734 --> 01:02:38,583 L-S-T? Landing Ship Tank, right? 660 01:02:39,055 --> 01:02:41,943 We called it a large, slow target. 661 01:02:43,122 --> 01:02:46,341 We were hauling ammunition for the big battleships. 662 01:02:46,820 --> 01:02:49,422 More like riding a stick of dynamite. 663 01:02:50,655 --> 01:02:54,008 You ever get a ship shot out from underneath you? 664 01:02:54,088 --> 01:02:55,942 Almost once. 665 01:02:56,721 --> 01:02:59,242 Every day in the evening glare... 666 01:02:59,322 --> 01:03:02,909 ...the suicide planes came in low over the water... 667 01:03:03,389 --> 01:03:06,476 ...with the sun behind them, to hit our ships. 668 01:03:07,155 --> 01:03:10,907 So one day, this suicide plane was coming... 669 01:03:10,987 --> 01:03:14,009 ...right towards our ammunition ship. 670 01:03:14,589 --> 01:03:17,212 And all at once... 671 01:03:17,292 --> 01:03:19,440 ...about 100 yards away... 672 01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:23,787 ...it went up into the air and slid back down into the water. 673 01:03:23,921 --> 01:03:26,474 Some of our small arms fire had hit the pilot. 674 01:03:26,554 --> 01:03:29,787 - Lucky shot. - Not for the pilot. 675 01:03:31,288 --> 01:03:34,288 Did you go straight to the Philippines from boot camp? 676 01:03:35,122 --> 01:03:38,308 No, we stopped in Tarawa and Okinawa on the way... 677 01:03:38,388 --> 01:03:40,272 ...just to show them what fer. 678 01:03:40,352 --> 01:03:43,181 Tarawa, Jesus Christ. 679 01:03:44,620 --> 01:03:47,208 - Here you go. - Oh, thank you, dear. 680 01:03:47,288 --> 01:03:49,921 - You're welcome. - Thank you very much. 681 01:03:53,188 --> 01:03:56,783 I still think about those people on the islands, hiding away in caves... 682 01:03:56,863 --> 01:03:58,753 ...afraid of us. 683 01:03:59,289 --> 01:04:04,095 The Japs said that we were going to rape and kill them all. 684 01:04:07,022 --> 01:04:08,860 So, we secured the beach... 685 01:04:10,421 --> 01:04:14,820 ...and the locals who survived that goddamn fire fight... 686 01:04:15,620 --> 01:04:20,267 ...start throwing their children off the cliffs, and then following them. 687 01:04:21,688 --> 01:04:25,930 I guess they thought suicide was better than facing us. 688 01:04:27,321 --> 01:04:30,777 I remember this little girl, couldn't have been more than seven... 689 01:04:30,857 --> 01:04:32,656 ...in rags. 690 01:04:34,855 --> 01:04:38,014 I don't know, she saw us coming, I guess, and right out of nowhere... 691 01:04:38,094 --> 01:04:40,342 ...out of a hole or wherever it was... 692 01:04:41,321 --> 01:04:43,541 ...and she had this... 693 01:04:43,621 --> 01:04:48,243 ...God, this beautiful smile on her face. 694 01:04:49,222 --> 01:04:52,475 And it wasn't a facade, it was coming from somewhere inside... 695 01:04:52,554 --> 01:04:55,441 ...from the center of herself. 696 01:04:55,520 --> 01:04:58,044 Good Lord, in that shit hole... 697 01:04:58,124 --> 01:05:00,584 ...something like that really stands out. 698 01:05:01,988 --> 01:05:05,199 It stopped us in our track. Here we were... 699 01:05:05,279 --> 01:05:08,899 ...all covered with shit, pieces of people everywhere... 700 01:05:08,979 --> 01:05:13,209 ...and I couldn't see a tree left. And she's grinning from ear to ear. 701 01:05:14,887 --> 01:05:17,475 So I said to my corpsman, I said... 702 01:05:17,554 --> 01:05:20,388 "...Look at this, we got somebody who's happy to see us." 703 01:05:21,421 --> 01:05:25,242 And he said, "She's not happy to see you. She's a Buddhist. 704 01:05:25,921 --> 01:05:30,200 She thinks she's gonna be killed, and she's smiling at her fate." 705 01:05:33,419 --> 01:05:38,141 When I think about that little girl's beautiful face, and that smile... 706 01:05:38,221 --> 01:05:40,740 ...in the midst of all that horror... 707 01:05:40,820 --> 01:05:42,921 ...and how she summoned... 708 01:05:45,455 --> 01:05:46,989 ...joy. 709 01:05:51,620 --> 01:05:54,469 They don't make a medal for that kind of bravery. 710 01:06:41,620 --> 01:06:43,622 (MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING) 711 01:06:59,778 --> 01:07:01,822 (MAN SINGING IN SPANISH) 712 01:07:37,122 --> 01:07:41,201 Hi, Lucky. I brought you some flan. I made it myself. 713 01:07:41,281 --> 01:07:45,777 - Oh, thank you. - And this is my mother, Victoria. 714 01:07:45,857 --> 01:07:48,204 She speaks a little English. 715 01:07:48,644 --> 01:07:50,204 Lucky. 716 01:07:50,284 --> 01:07:52,593 - Hola. - Nice to meet you, darling. 717 01:07:52,673 --> 01:07:56,121 - Mucho gusto. - Bueno, I'll be right back, okay? 718 01:07:58,022 --> 01:07:59,943 Now, um... 719 01:08:00,023 --> 01:08:04,007 ...what does the name Victoria mean in English? 720 01:08:04,087 --> 01:08:07,380 - Victory. - Victory, ah, Che Guevara said... 721 01:08:07,460 --> 01:08:12,175 "...Hasta la victoria siempre." 722 01:08:12,255 --> 01:08:13,627 (IN SPANISH) You speak Spanish? 723 01:08:13,707 --> 01:08:15,436 (IN SPANISH) Very little. 724 01:08:15,516 --> 01:08:18,246 My pronunciation is good. 725 01:08:18,325 --> 01:08:21,885 But my conversation is very limited. 726 01:08:21,975 --> 01:08:25,271 But this is fantastic. Your pronunciation is perfect. 727 01:08:25,350 --> 01:08:27,449 It sounds so natural. 728 01:08:27,529 --> 01:08:29,403 My daughter always speaks highly of you... 729 01:08:29,483 --> 01:08:32,534 ...and she says you are keen on Mariachi music. 730 01:08:36,393 --> 01:08:38,027 (MUSIC PLAYING) 731 01:08:39,187 --> 01:08:41,020 Excuse me. 732 01:08:46,791 --> 01:08:48,793 (ALL SINGING SPANISH) 733 01:09:49,488 --> 01:09:51,554 (SINGING STOPS) 734 01:10:00,391 --> 01:10:02,417 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 735 01:10:22,353 --> 01:10:25,153 LUCKY: (SINGING) Este amor apasionado 736 01:10:25,232 --> 01:10:27,431 Anda todo alborotado 737 01:10:27,511 --> 01:10:30,767 Por volver 738 01:10:32,487 --> 01:10:37,300 Voy camino a la locura y aunque todo me tortura 739 01:10:37,919 --> 01:10:41,476 Sé querer 740 01:10:42,045 --> 01:10:46,232 Nos dejamos hace tiempo pero me llegó el momento 741 01:10:46,312 --> 01:10:49,341 De perder 742 01:10:52,893 --> 01:10:55,512 Tú tenías mucha razón 743 01:10:55,592 --> 01:10:59,224 Y le hago caso al corazón 744 01:11:00,094 --> 01:11:03,961 Y me muero por volver 745 01:11:06,428 --> 01:11:09,473 Y volver, volver 746 01:11:09,553 --> 01:11:12,572 Volver 747 01:11:15,639 --> 01:11:19,425 A tus brazos otra vez 748 01:11:21,448 --> 01:11:24,234 Llegaré hasta donde estés 749 01:11:24,314 --> 01:11:28,502 Yo sé perder, yo sé perder, quiero volver 750 01:11:28,582 --> 01:11:32,071 Volver, volver 751 01:11:46,069 --> 01:11:49,042 Nos dejamos hace tiempo 752 01:11:49,121 --> 01:11:52,406 Pero me llegó el momento 753 01:11:52,486 --> 01:11:55,729 De perder 754 01:11:58,754 --> 01:12:01,252 Tú tenías mucha razón 755 01:12:01,332 --> 01:12:04,336 Y le hago caso al corazón 756 01:12:05,569 --> 01:12:09,575 Y me muero por volver 757 01:12:12,844 --> 01:12:15,739 Y volver, volver 758 01:12:15,819 --> 01:12:18,830 Volver 759 01:12:21,828 --> 01:12:25,397 A tus brazos otra vez 760 01:12:27,504 --> 01:12:30,332 Llegaré hasta donde estés 761 01:12:30,412 --> 01:12:34,512 Yo sé perder, yo sé perder, quiero volver 762 01:12:34,592 --> 01:12:38,163 Volver, volver 763 01:12:58,154 --> 01:12:59,331 Lucky! 764 01:12:59,411 --> 01:13:01,952 One of you will betray me. 765 01:13:02,031 --> 01:13:05,014 Bullshit. We'll all betray you. 766 01:13:05,093 --> 01:13:06,841 (ALL LAUGHING) 767 01:13:06,921 --> 01:13:09,507 You look peppy. Where have you been? 768 01:13:09,587 --> 01:13:13,040 Uh, to a fiesta. Did you ever have flan? 769 01:13:13,320 --> 01:13:15,036 - No. - I love it. 770 01:13:15,116 --> 01:13:17,953 It has an unusual consistency. 771 01:13:18,821 --> 01:13:22,461 Howie, you find that reptile of yours yet? 772 01:13:23,120 --> 01:13:25,720 No, but thank you for asking. 773 01:13:26,654 --> 01:13:28,908 It's okay, I've let it go. 774 01:13:29,787 --> 01:13:33,841 I kept thinking about how much time he spent planning his escape. 775 01:13:34,620 --> 01:13:38,020 And how much care he took in making sure I couldn't find him. 776 01:13:39,054 --> 01:13:41,842 And then I started to realize that he wasn't leaving me. 777 01:13:41,922 --> 01:13:46,008 He was just going off someplace else to do something he thought was important. 778 01:13:46,688 --> 01:13:50,124 I even felt guilty for standing in his way for so long. 779 01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:53,787 So I stopped looking for him. 780 01:13:55,321 --> 01:13:58,013 If it's meant to be, I'll see him again. 781 01:13:58,620 --> 01:14:02,486 He knows where I am, and I'm leaving the gate open. 782 01:14:06,653 --> 01:14:08,520 LUCKY: To Roosevelt! 783 01:14:19,154 --> 01:14:21,241 Hey! What, the rules don't apply to you? 784 01:14:21,321 --> 01:14:23,373 Since when did you think you could smoke in here? 785 01:14:23,453 --> 01:14:25,243 Well, you could in '68. 786 01:14:25,323 --> 01:14:28,180 Well, it ain't '68 anymore, sweetheart. 787 01:14:34,954 --> 01:14:37,254 One of these days, I'm just going to light up. 788 01:14:46,454 --> 01:14:49,130 My place, my rules. 789 01:14:49,520 --> 01:14:51,674 Ownership is a fallacy. 790 01:14:51,754 --> 01:14:54,173 Why can't you just live by the rules? 791 01:14:54,253 --> 01:14:57,707 Authority is arbitrary and subjective. 792 01:14:57,787 --> 01:15:02,486 This is the same kind of attitude that got you 86-ed from Eve's. 793 01:15:03,887 --> 01:15:06,034 - What do you know of it? - I know you lit up. 794 01:15:06,114 --> 01:15:07,808 That's what you think happened. 795 01:15:07,888 --> 01:15:10,168 If you didn't light up, why did they kick you out? 796 01:15:10,248 --> 01:15:12,707 They didn't kick me out, I walked out. 797 01:15:12,787 --> 01:15:15,738 - That's a good story. - I like that story. 798 01:15:15,818 --> 01:15:18,345 - It's not a story. - ELAINE: Then what is it? 799 01:15:18,425 --> 01:15:22,374 - It's the truth. - The truth is, you lit up! 800 01:15:22,454 --> 01:15:26,674 It's not about the cigarettes, it's about what I know happened... 801 01:15:26,754 --> 01:15:29,747 - ...and what you think happened. - I wish I had been there. 802 01:15:29,827 --> 01:15:32,107 You could have been there and still have missed it. 803 01:15:32,187 --> 01:15:35,774 You broke the rules. You got busted and banned. 804 01:15:35,854 --> 01:15:39,540 - That's the truth. - How about if we all agree to disagree? 805 01:15:39,620 --> 01:15:43,620 No. I know the truth and the truth matters! 806 01:15:45,010 --> 01:15:47,620 It's a thing. Right? 807 01:15:49,086 --> 01:15:52,374 Yes, truth is a thing. 808 01:15:52,454 --> 01:15:56,874 It's the truth of who we are and what we do. 809 01:15:57,654 --> 01:16:01,140 And you have to face that, and accept it. 810 01:16:01,820 --> 01:16:05,420 Because the truth of the universe is waiting. 811 01:16:09,121 --> 01:16:11,904 - I'm lost. - The truth of what is... 812 01:16:11,984 --> 01:16:14,108 ...for all of us. 813 01:16:14,188 --> 01:16:15,355 Which is? 814 01:16:18,420 --> 01:16:22,254 That it's all going to go away. 815 01:16:23,822 --> 01:16:28,313 You, you, you, you, me, this cigarette, everything... 816 01:16:29,754 --> 01:16:32,788 ...into blackness, the void. 817 01:16:34,986 --> 01:16:37,186 And nobody's in charge. 818 01:16:38,353 --> 01:16:40,170 And you're left with... 819 01:16:42,153 --> 01:16:44,186 ...ungatz. 820 01:16:46,353 --> 01:16:48,173 Ungatz. 821 01:16:48,253 --> 01:16:51,090 - Nothing. - Nothing. 822 01:16:52,389 --> 01:16:54,880 That's... that's all there is. 823 01:16:58,288 --> 01:17:01,721 - And what do you do with that? - What do we do with that? 824 01:17:10,954 --> 01:17:12,820 You smile. 825 01:21:46,553 --> 01:21:48,583 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 62869

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