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{\an8}[♪ theme music playing]
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Get ready for an event so awesome,
it could only be called
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Infyrno Fest!
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00:00:43,421 --> 00:00:44,881
Every other name was taken.
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One solid month
of premium entertainment.
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00:00:47,259 --> 00:00:50,095
Two hundred bands on 300 stages!
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{\an8}[yawns]
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{\an8}Just another music festival.
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00:00:54,015 --> 00:00:57,519
{\an8}[host] Infyrno Fest is not
just another music festival!
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00:00:57,727 --> 00:00:59,312
{\an8}[gasps] I was wrong, Bender!
11
00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:02,816
[host] It's an audio-sensory quest
to disrupt the impossible
12
00:01:02,899 --> 00:01:04,901
and transcend the transformative!
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00:01:06,444 --> 00:01:07,445
{\an8}What'd I miss?
14
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{\an8}We need tickets, fast.
Can I buy 'em by just thinking about it?
15
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{\an8}Apparently.
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[host]
Did we mention the belly-busting buffet?
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No. Why did you keep it a secret?
18
00:01:19,416 --> 00:01:22,502
Register for the snooty VIP experience,
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featuring snooty villas!
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{\an8}You had me at "snooty"!
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{\an8}This is ridiculous!
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{\an8}We can't take a month off
for this kind of nonsense.
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[host] Keep it chill in our
imported atmosphere, with 30% THC!
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{\an8}[gasps] The atmosphere is pre-danked?
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Ask yourself,
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are you young and hip enough
for Infyrno Fest?
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{\an8}Hell no!
So I demand a senior discount!
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{\an8}-Whoo! We're all going!
-I'm not going.
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{\an8}-But you love things like this.
-I do?
30
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{\an8}-No. I was trying to trick you.
-Good try, buddy.
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00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,293
I have plans to spend time
with my new friend, Chelsea.
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00:02:03,376 --> 00:02:05,462
She's going through
some things right now.
33
00:02:05,545 --> 00:02:08,882
New friend? Does she live in a shoe?
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00:02:08,965 --> 00:02:13,136
No. Look, I'm sure you all feel bad
going without me,
35
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but just try to have a good...
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Ugh.
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Leela, hi. What's up?
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Hey, Chelsea.
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00:02:25,524 --> 00:02:28,068
Ooh, I love the diamond necklace.
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Oh, this? [chuckles] It's not real.
Doesn't Fry ever get you jewelry?
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He made me a bracelet
out of spaghetti once.
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He's a keeper!
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[both chuckle]
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There it is!
The Infyrno Fest party planet!
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I'm takin' her into the parking lot.
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[screeching]
47
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[horns honking]
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[all grunting]
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Watch your steps.
50
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,144
A potty! That's the thing I need to go.
51
00:03:04,896 --> 00:03:07,023
Excuse me. There's a line.
52
00:03:11,403 --> 00:03:13,780
[sighs] I'll just pee on this tree.
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00:03:14,823 --> 00:03:18,118
[sighs] I'll just pee on this human.
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00:03:18,743 --> 00:03:19,828
Uh...
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Welcome to the Infyrno Fest experience.
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00:03:22,831 --> 00:03:23,874
How we feelin'?
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Less than buzzed. [sniffs]
I'm not detecting any THC.
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00:03:28,086 --> 00:03:29,880
Yo, no oxygen either.
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00:03:29,963 --> 00:03:31,423
Atmosphere truck broke down.
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00:03:31,506 --> 00:03:34,718
But follow me
to your freakin' cool accommodations.
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00:03:38,138 --> 00:03:40,932
Welcome to the VIP Village.
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Where is it?
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00:03:43,268 --> 00:03:45,353
-Ew!
-Not cool.
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I'm gonna have some choice words
for the contractor.
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00:03:48,273 --> 00:03:51,818
[speaking alien language]
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Don't hit me!
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00:03:53,236 --> 00:03:57,365
{\an8}I know what will make us feel better!
The belly-busting buffet.
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00:04:00,285 --> 00:04:04,331
I'll have a small cup of gazpacho,
the fig and goat cheese salad,
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00:04:04,414 --> 00:04:06,708
five whole turkeys, and a baked Alaska.
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00:04:06,791 --> 00:04:08,627
Here's your bologna sandwich.
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00:04:09,586 --> 00:04:11,963
I'll have the prime rib,
seared scallops,
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00:04:12,047 --> 00:04:15,425
asparagus with hollandaise sauce,
and two dozen cream puffs.
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00:04:15,509 --> 00:04:17,177
Here's your bologna sandwich.
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00:04:17,969 --> 00:04:19,554
I'll have a bologna sandwich.
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00:04:19,679 --> 00:04:21,681
Sorry, we're out of bologna.
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00:04:21,765 --> 00:04:25,644
At least I'm still looking forward
to the hundreds of top bands.
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Then you, my friend, are in luck.
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00:04:28,396 --> 00:04:29,981
Bad luck. They all bailed out.
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[♪ rock music playing]
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Except Wailing Fungus.
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00:04:33,818 --> 00:04:37,280
I got them to stay by promising them
the last slice of bologna.
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00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,324
You bastard.
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-Are you ready to rock?
-[crowd cheering]
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I said, are you ready to rock?
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-Yeah!
-[crowd cheering loudly]
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Hang on a second. I'm not ready to rock.
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[mic feedback]
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Uh, now I'm ready.
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00:05:01,930 --> 00:05:04,182
That's the best damn show I ever saw!
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00:05:04,266 --> 00:05:06,309
[siren wailing]
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00:05:10,355 --> 00:05:13,900
The ill-fated festival ended
with the arrest of its organizer,
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00:05:14,025 --> 00:05:17,654
along with a major outbreak
of Venusian Bologna Fever.
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[laughs]
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00:05:18,864 --> 00:05:21,491
At least those hipsters died slowly.
95
00:05:28,623 --> 00:05:30,876
Is everybody okay? Is anybody hurt?
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00:05:30,959 --> 00:05:33,211
Nobody's okay. Everybody's hurt.
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[all cheering]
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00:05:35,463 --> 00:05:37,549
Sounds like you had a good time?
99
00:05:37,632 --> 00:05:40,552
-No! It was the worst time ever.
-Pure torture.
100
00:05:40,635 --> 00:05:42,220
-A disaster.
-The worst!
101
00:05:42,304 --> 00:05:44,014
And now for the real fun:
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deducting the money we wasted
as business expenses.
103
00:05:49,227 --> 00:05:50,437
Hmm. That's odd.
104
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,273
There were some huge phone charges
while we were gone.
105
00:05:53,356 --> 00:05:56,401
$5.99 a minute? For hours?
106
00:05:56,526 --> 00:06:00,363
Oh. That was me
talking to my friend, Chelsea.
107
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,740
But phone calls are free!
108
00:06:01,823 --> 00:06:02,824
Um...
109
00:06:02,991 --> 00:06:04,201
It was long distance?
110
00:06:04,284 --> 00:06:07,495
You can call a parallel universe
for two cents an hour!
111
00:06:07,579 --> 00:06:11,625
I bet it was one of those disgusting
party sex lines!
112
00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:14,127
Oh, no, wait.
Those are only $5.98 a minute.
113
00:06:14,211 --> 00:06:16,796
There were some of those too,
and you weren't even here!
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00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,256
They call me!
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00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:22,469
{\an8}Most of the calls went to
a Chatty Chelsea Chatbot service.
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00:06:22,552 --> 00:06:25,055
[gasps] Leela, is that
your friend, Chelsea?
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00:06:25,138 --> 00:06:27,349
-Does she work there?
-Sort of.
118
00:06:27,432 --> 00:06:30,727
Oh, my God! Your friend is a chatbot?
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00:06:30,852 --> 00:06:34,231
[sighs] Fine. Yes. Are you happy?
120
00:06:34,314 --> 00:06:37,108
I've been feeling like
I don't have any real friends.
121
00:06:37,192 --> 00:06:40,862
So I joined a chatbot service
to learn to interact with people.
122
00:06:40,987 --> 00:06:43,949
And it worked!
Chelsea is my best friend now.
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00:06:44,032 --> 00:06:47,202
Your best friend is an AI
who you pay to talk to?
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00:06:47,285 --> 00:06:48,954
How embarrassing!
125
00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:51,915
-For Chelsea! [laughing]
-[all laughing]
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Good one.
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At least it's a business expense.
128
00:07:00,131 --> 00:07:01,424
[♪ sad music playing]
129
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:06,388
Leela, it's okay
to have a chatbot friend.
130
00:07:06,471 --> 00:07:10,433
But you have real friends too.
In fact, you're my best friend.
131
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:13,103
-I thought I was your best friend.
-Oh, right.
132
00:07:13,186 --> 00:07:15,397
Well, Leela's my best friend
I can cuddle.
133
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,024
I like to cuddle. You never asked!
134
00:07:18,108 --> 00:07:21,319
I love you, Fry,
but you can't be everything.
135
00:07:21,403 --> 00:07:24,447
I need a girlfriend I can just gab with
about whatever.
136
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:28,493
Say, surely one of us
could be your close female friend.
137
00:07:34,291 --> 00:07:35,333
I guess not!
138
00:07:36,376 --> 00:07:37,627
Leela, listen.
139
00:07:37,711 --> 00:07:40,714
I'm in a women's book club
and we're looking for new members.
140
00:07:40,797 --> 00:07:41,923
Book club?
141
00:07:42,007 --> 00:07:43,758
More like bore club!
142
00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:46,261
-[all laughing]
-Nice!
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I don't even like books.
It's just fun to hang out.
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00:07:49,222 --> 00:07:50,348
You should join!
145
00:07:50,473 --> 00:07:53,059
I don't know. It might be awkward.
146
00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:54,811
Aw, give it a try, Leela.
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00:07:54,978 --> 00:07:57,439
True friendships come
from shared experiences.
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Like Infyrno Fest.
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We ate bologna and got a disease.
150
00:08:01,276 --> 00:08:03,570
Good times! Good times.
151
00:08:05,363 --> 00:08:06,489
So, Chelsea,
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00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:09,868
I think I'm gonna join a book club
with real, live women in it.
153
00:08:09,951 --> 00:08:13,622
That's great!
But are you sure you're ready for that?
154
00:08:13,705 --> 00:08:17,292
Why wouldn't I be? I know how to read.
I'm good at sitting.
155
00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:20,670
{\an8}Look, a group setting can be tricky,
156
00:08:20,754 --> 00:08:22,923
{\an8}and then, there's your sense of humor.
157
00:08:23,006 --> 00:08:24,799
{\an8}What's wrong with my sense of humor?
158
00:08:24,883 --> 00:08:27,677
{\an8}It's awfully knock-knock joke based.
159
00:08:27,802 --> 00:08:30,680
{\an8}Yeah, 78.2%, actually.
160
00:08:30,764 --> 00:08:34,518
I think you're wrong, Chelsea.
I'm gonna do great in that book club.
161
00:08:34,643 --> 00:08:37,103
And I'm not
just about knock-knock jokes.
162
00:08:37,187 --> 00:08:39,689
I know a lot of animal riddles.
163
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I hereby call the book club meeting
to order.
164
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First item on the agenda:
remove looky-loos.
165
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Get out, ya testostaroons!
166
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Ladies only.
167
00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:56,289
Fine. We don't wanna be here anyway.
168
00:08:56,373 --> 00:08:59,000
Come on, men. Let's go do manly things.
169
00:08:59,084 --> 00:09:02,128
Like helping a friend evict some
raccoons from his dumpster.
170
00:09:03,505 --> 00:09:06,842
All right, ladies,
we got ourselves some new members today.
171
00:09:06,925 --> 00:09:08,885
Go on now and introduce yourselves.
172
00:09:08,969 --> 00:09:12,055
Hi, I'm Vyolet. I'm a sewer mutant.
173
00:09:12,138 --> 00:09:15,350
And my favorite authors are
Edgar Allan Poo,
174
00:09:15,433 --> 00:09:18,311
H.G. Smells, and George R.R. Martin.
175
00:09:18,812 --> 00:09:20,814
Hey, I'm Phoebe.
176
00:09:20,897 --> 00:09:23,859
I like true crime,
'cause it gives me ideas.
177
00:09:23,984 --> 00:09:25,318
[all chuckling]
178
00:09:25,944 --> 00:09:29,281
Oh, gosh, my turn? Well, I'm Leela,
179
00:09:29,364 --> 00:09:33,618
and I just finished reading
Profiles in Prairie Dog Courage.
180
00:09:34,286 --> 00:09:37,581
Did you know a marmot once stopped
voter fraud in Idaho?
181
00:09:38,915 --> 00:09:42,252
Hey, this seems like a good time
to pop a cork.
182
00:09:42,335 --> 00:09:43,753
-Yeah!
-[all chattering]
183
00:09:43,837 --> 00:09:44,838
God, yes!
184
00:09:47,924 --> 00:09:50,635
It's so awkward
coming in as a new person, isn't it?
185
00:09:50,719 --> 00:09:51,928
I know, right?
186
00:09:52,012 --> 00:09:55,182
I'm scared I'll say something dumb
and look stupid.
187
00:09:55,265 --> 00:09:58,727
Same. Maybe we can look stupid together?
Doy!
188
00:09:58,810 --> 00:10:00,103
[chuckles]
189
00:10:01,271 --> 00:10:05,025
So, how did everyone like
Crazy Rich Martians? Amy?
190
00:10:05,108 --> 00:10:08,153
At first, I was afraid
it would hit too close to home,
191
00:10:08,236 --> 00:10:10,030
so I never read it. Lauren?
192
00:10:10,113 --> 00:10:13,283
Yeah, um, I thought the craziness
193
00:10:13,366 --> 00:10:15,911
was a compelling metaphor for the...
194
00:10:16,536 --> 00:10:18,455
Okay look, I didn't read it either.
195
00:10:18,538 --> 00:10:21,041
Fancy ladies with their books.
196
00:10:21,124 --> 00:10:22,959
Think they're so great.
197
00:10:23,043 --> 00:10:25,462
Say, we should form our own book club.
198
00:10:25,545 --> 00:10:27,506
With black jack! And hookers!
199
00:10:27,589 --> 00:10:29,716
In fact, forget the books.
200
00:10:29,799 --> 00:10:32,177
So, wait, none of us read the book?
201
00:10:32,260 --> 00:10:35,597
LaBarbara, last week,
you said you'd already read most of it?
202
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,265
Most of the jacket.
203
00:10:37,349 --> 00:10:40,268
I got as far as,
"It's a literary tour de..."
204
00:10:40,936 --> 00:10:42,562
Uh, I'm new here,
205
00:10:42,646 --> 00:10:44,397
but if nobody's into reading,
206
00:10:44,481 --> 00:10:47,067
maybe there's something else
we'd enjoy more?
207
00:10:47,150 --> 00:10:51,571
Yes! A shared activity.
That's how you make friends.
208
00:10:52,489 --> 00:10:54,658
-[clears throat]
-How 'bout gardening?
209
00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:58,328
You can smoke what you pick!
I mean, eat what you pick.
210
00:10:58,453 --> 00:10:59,955
-No.
-Nah.
211
00:11:00,038 --> 00:11:02,082
-Hiking?
-Quilting?
212
00:11:02,165 --> 00:11:03,875
-Drinking?
-Yes, please.
213
00:11:03,959 --> 00:11:05,043
Bingo!
214
00:11:05,126 --> 00:11:07,921
Hey, why don't we go to a winery
for the weekend?
215
00:11:08,004 --> 00:11:10,090
We can just drink wine and hang out.
216
00:11:10,173 --> 00:11:11,466
And drink wine!
217
00:11:15,262 --> 00:11:17,639
So, what did everyone think
of my book pick?
218
00:11:17,722 --> 00:11:21,351
Adventure Boys 3:
Trouble on Trouble Island.
219
00:11:21,434 --> 00:11:22,936
Feh! Needs ketchup.
220
00:11:23,687 --> 00:11:27,023
{\an8}It was obvious the old prospector
was the counterfeiter.
221
00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:28,984
{\an8}There were only three people
in the book,
222
00:11:29,067 --> 00:11:31,111
{\an8}and two of them were the Adventure Boys.
223
00:11:31,194 --> 00:11:35,448
{\an8}Agreed. I think we're ready for more
challenging material.
224
00:11:35,532 --> 00:11:39,327
May I suggest Adventure Boys 10:
The Ghost of Ghost Mountain?
225
00:11:39,411 --> 00:11:40,453
No, you may not.
226
00:11:43,039 --> 00:11:44,708
You're going on a what?
227
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:48,169
A girls' weekend!
With my new wine club friends.
228
00:11:48,253 --> 00:11:51,173
I'm taking a red top
in case I spill burgundy,
229
00:11:51,298 --> 00:11:54,384
white for chardonnay,
and paisley in case I barf!
230
00:11:54,509 --> 00:11:58,305
{\an8}But I cleared out my entire weekend
so we could hang out, Leela.
231
00:11:58,388 --> 00:12:00,098
{\an8}Maybe go shopping.
232
00:12:00,182 --> 00:12:03,727
{\an8}-For what? You're a chatbot.
-Chatbots can shop!
233
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:07,439
{\an8}But I guess you're just too busy,
with your friends.
234
00:12:07,522 --> 00:12:08,940
It's only two days.
235
00:12:09,608 --> 00:12:11,026
Look, I gotta go.
236
00:12:11,109 --> 00:12:14,196
The girl mobile is outside.
Talk to ya later!
237
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:21,786
{\an8}Leela? Leela!
238
00:12:23,580 --> 00:12:26,166
{\an8}Leela!
239
00:12:33,089 --> 00:12:34,799
[all exclaiming]
240
00:12:35,217 --> 00:12:36,885
Is that a chicken?
241
00:12:37,969 --> 00:12:40,847
Welcome to my humble family winery.
242
00:12:40,931 --> 00:12:42,057
You have a family?
243
00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:44,893
God no. Let me take you on the tour.
244
00:12:45,018 --> 00:12:46,186
Clothing optional.
245
00:12:46,728 --> 00:12:49,189
Optional? Then I guess I'll wear some.
246
00:12:52,609 --> 00:12:54,694
It is harvest season, friends!
247
00:12:54,778 --> 00:12:57,739
I like them plump and juicy!
248
00:12:57,822 --> 00:12:59,991
I know you're not talking about grapes,
249
00:13:00,075 --> 00:13:02,327
but me not sure
what you are talking about.
250
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:04,621
That's probably for the best.
251
00:13:05,747 --> 00:13:08,583
We specialize
in celebration-sized bottles.
252
00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,585
The nine-liter Salmanazar,
253
00:13:10,710 --> 00:13:13,213
the 15-liter Nebuchadnezzar,
254
00:13:13,338 --> 00:13:18,301
and climaxing in
the 300-liter Jabbathazzar.
255
00:13:18,927 --> 00:13:21,221
-[all exclaiming]
-Wow.
256
00:13:21,429 --> 00:13:22,848
Can we stomp the grapes?
257
00:13:22,931 --> 00:13:27,227
Alas, stomping has been rendered
obsolete by modern technology.
258
00:13:34,693 --> 00:13:39,197
Oh, to be one of those grapes,
bursting in ecstasy!
259
00:13:39,281 --> 00:13:42,117
We get it! You're a dirty old couch.
260
00:13:45,203 --> 00:13:47,622
You'll have the entire place
to yourselves,
261
00:13:47,706 --> 00:13:50,792
for I shall be spending the weekend
aboard my yacht.
262
00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:52,836
It's got a crew of six.
263
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:56,715
{\an8}Their sailor suits really float my boat.
[chuckles]
264
00:13:56,798 --> 00:13:58,508
Get the hell out already!
265
00:13:58,592 --> 00:13:59,593
Farewell!
266
00:14:00,343 --> 00:14:02,679
Oh, just don't go in the bottling plant.
267
00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:05,891
This place has every amenity
except insurance.
268
00:14:11,855 --> 00:14:12,939
To reading!
269
00:14:14,107 --> 00:14:15,317
Boom!
270
00:14:16,193 --> 00:14:17,194
-[all gasp]
-Yeah!
271
00:14:18,195 --> 00:14:19,613
[all exclaiming]
272
00:14:22,032 --> 00:14:24,826
This is a six-cylinder party machine,
Leela.
273
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:26,536
Here, let me help you loosen up.
274
00:14:28,622 --> 00:14:31,082
Hey, that was fun!
275
00:14:31,208 --> 00:14:33,335
Hand me that bust of Benjamin Disraeli.
276
00:14:35,795 --> 00:14:36,922
To be honest,
277
00:14:37,005 --> 00:14:41,426
I was expecting Of Mice and Men
to be about a man-mouse hybrid.
278
00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:44,804
You know,
the sort of thing science has dreamt of
279
00:14:44,888 --> 00:14:47,182
since the dawn of time.
280
00:14:49,100 --> 00:14:51,978
But I very much enjoyed
Steinbeck's version.
281
00:14:52,062 --> 00:14:53,688
{\an8}I preferred your version.
282
00:14:53,897 --> 00:14:56,650
Mmm, mmm. That was delicious.
283
00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:59,069
So, where you learn to carve a peacock,
Leela?
284
00:14:59,152 --> 00:15:00,153
The Bronx Zoo.
285
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:05,534
[burps] What a great weekend.
We smashed things, we killed things.
286
00:15:05,659 --> 00:15:07,410
I wanna stomp things!
287
00:15:07,494 --> 00:15:09,621
But Hedonismbot said we can't.
288
00:15:09,704 --> 00:15:12,123
Can't shmant! How's he gonna know?
289
00:15:12,249 --> 00:15:14,125
-Yeah, let's do it!
-C'mon!
290
00:15:14,209 --> 00:15:18,296
They do say shared experiences
bring friends closer together.
291
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,632
You're weirding us out, Leela.
292
00:15:30,392 --> 00:15:34,229
Some mutants have an extra knuckle,
some can open locks with their minds.
293
00:15:35,689 --> 00:15:37,190
[all giggling]
294
00:15:44,114 --> 00:15:45,323
Jump in, ladies.
295
00:15:45,407 --> 00:15:46,867
[all chattering, exclaiming]
296
00:15:49,411 --> 00:15:51,621
[all cheering and giggling]
297
00:15:52,831 --> 00:15:53,832
This is fun!
298
00:15:55,584 --> 00:15:58,128
This is the best day of my life.
299
00:15:58,211 --> 00:16:00,589
It's hard for me to say this,
300
00:16:00,672 --> 00:16:04,134
but I've always had trouble
making female friends.
301
00:16:04,259 --> 00:16:08,555
And now,
here I am, with five of the most
302
00:16:08,638 --> 00:16:12,017
female friends you are!
303
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:14,352
-Aw!
-Back at you, girlfriend.
304
00:16:14,477 --> 00:16:16,646
Besties, sister. Besties.
305
00:16:18,023 --> 00:16:19,733
-Hello, Leela.
-Huh?
306
00:16:19,816 --> 00:16:22,652
Are you and your friends having fun?
307
00:16:23,236 --> 00:16:24,237
Who's that?
308
00:16:24,321 --> 00:16:28,617
It's my friend, Chelsea.
My virtual friend.
309
00:16:28,700 --> 00:16:29,951
What are you doing here?
310
00:16:30,076 --> 00:16:34,581
I just thought I'd drop by
to see how quickly you forgot about me.
311
00:16:34,664 --> 00:16:37,834
Pretty quick actually,
she hasn't mentioned you once.
312
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:40,128
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings,
Chelsea.
313
00:16:40,212 --> 00:16:43,507
We agreed I should make
some real, live friends, right?
314
00:16:43,590 --> 00:16:46,426
You wanna help us stomp grapes?
If you can do that?
315
00:16:46,510 --> 00:16:48,470
Oh, yeah, I can do that.
316
00:16:51,348 --> 00:16:53,308
[all screaming]
317
00:16:53,391 --> 00:16:55,477
[Chelsea laughing]
318
00:16:57,187 --> 00:17:00,815
"Death!
Oft, I've feared thy fatal blow.
319
00:17:00,899 --> 00:17:03,443
"Now, fond, I bare my breast.
320
00:17:03,527 --> 00:17:06,279
"Do thou come and lay me low.
321
00:17:06,363 --> 00:17:08,448
"With him I love, at rest."
322
00:17:09,783 --> 00:17:11,034
{\an8}Robert Burns.
323
00:17:12,661 --> 00:17:14,996
[Bender laughing]
324
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,540
How can you laugh at that?
325
00:17:16,623 --> 00:17:18,917
It's about humanity's struggle
with death.
326
00:17:19,042 --> 00:17:22,254
Humanity?
I thought it was a sea cucumber.
327
00:17:22,337 --> 00:17:24,214
[overlapping chatter]
328
00:17:24,756 --> 00:17:26,007
Forget this book.
329
00:17:26,174 --> 00:17:28,051
[all screaming]
330
00:17:28,718 --> 00:17:31,304
-Grab its big toe!
-They're all big!
331
00:17:31,555 --> 00:17:34,641
[all screaming]
332
00:17:36,643 --> 00:17:37,686
Phew.
333
00:17:37,769 --> 00:17:38,854
That was close.
334
00:17:38,979 --> 00:17:40,689
[Phoebe screaming]
335
00:17:41,064 --> 00:17:42,274
[gasps] Phoebe!
336
00:17:42,399 --> 00:17:46,486
Oh, no!
Is your real-live friend in trouble?
337
00:17:49,489 --> 00:17:50,490
Help!
338
00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:51,575
Help me!
339
00:17:57,205 --> 00:17:59,207
Phoebe! Phoebe!
340
00:18:02,752 --> 00:18:04,421
It's juicy.
341
00:18:05,672 --> 00:18:07,424
[all yelling]
342
00:18:08,758 --> 00:18:09,801
Ouch!
343
00:18:09,885 --> 00:18:12,387
There must be some way to break
a wine bottle.
344
00:18:12,637 --> 00:18:16,266
Hmm. They usually seem to break
when they hit the bow of a ship.
345
00:18:16,516 --> 00:18:18,143
[gasps] The yacht!
346
00:18:20,020 --> 00:18:21,062
[grunts]
347
00:18:23,315 --> 00:18:24,566
[all cheering]
348
00:18:26,151 --> 00:18:29,112
Phoebe! Say something.
She's not breathing!
349
00:18:29,237 --> 00:18:30,405
I'm a doctor.
350
00:18:30,488 --> 00:18:33,575
Stand back,
while I deliver the French kiss of life.
351
00:18:35,118 --> 00:18:37,162
-You can do it!
-Breathe, Phoebe!
352
00:18:37,245 --> 00:18:38,580
She's gonna make it!
353
00:18:40,874 --> 00:18:41,875
She's dead.
354
00:18:42,375 --> 00:18:45,420
-[all sobbing]
-Time of death, 5:00 p.m.
355
00:18:45,504 --> 00:18:46,588
Cause of death,
356
00:18:46,713 --> 00:18:50,050
a fruity Zinfandel
with hints of eucalyptus and vanilla.
357
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:53,261
And a note of sour plum.
358
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,143
[all crying]
359
00:19:07,275 --> 00:19:09,444
She looks so natural.
360
00:19:11,196 --> 00:19:14,324
I'll never forget the day I met Phoebe
in book club.
361
00:19:14,574 --> 00:19:19,412
[sniffles] It was the day we realized
that book club didn't like books.
362
00:19:19,538 --> 00:19:20,956
[all chuckle]
363
00:19:21,039 --> 00:19:25,585
So we decided to become a wine club.
"The Girls of the Grape."
364
00:19:25,669 --> 00:19:28,755
That's a lousy name!
Right, Brothers of the Book?
365
00:19:28,839 --> 00:19:31,132
-Yeah, lousy.
-Terrible name.
366
00:19:31,258 --> 00:19:35,720
Anyway, I think it's fitting
to make a toast in her honor.
367
00:19:36,429 --> 00:19:37,514
To Phoebe!
368
00:19:37,639 --> 00:19:39,850
A fun-loving, two-fisted drinker,
369
00:19:39,933 --> 00:19:41,935
who chugged life with one hand,
370
00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:43,854
and friendship with the other.
371
00:19:43,937 --> 00:19:45,564
Hear, hear!
372
00:19:46,565 --> 00:19:49,609
[all exclaiming in disgust]
373
00:19:49,734 --> 00:19:52,112
I wouldn't serve this swill to Zoidberg.
374
00:19:52,946 --> 00:19:54,865
It's the wine Phoebe died in.
375
00:19:54,990 --> 00:19:57,325
I thought it would remind us
of happier times.
376
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:59,411
But it's really just vile!
377
00:19:59,494 --> 00:20:01,371
I'll take another glass of Phoebe.
378
00:20:01,454 --> 00:20:05,667
While the ushers mop up,
Philip J. Fry has asked to do a reading.
379
00:20:07,878 --> 00:20:09,963
My condolences, everyone.
380
00:20:10,046 --> 00:20:13,717
You know, I was recently at a meeting
of a different book club...
381
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:14,801
The good one!
382
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:19,347
...when I came across these moving words
about humanity's struggle with death.
383
00:20:20,473 --> 00:20:21,558
[clears throat]
384
00:20:21,725 --> 00:20:24,811
"The Ghost of Ghost Mountain,
Chapter 10."
385
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,898
"Suddenly, the boulder
pivoted to one side,
386
00:20:28,023 --> 00:20:31,234
"revealing a hidden passageway
full of stolen pianos.
387
00:20:31,318 --> 00:20:32,777
"They heard a sudden cackle.
388
00:20:32,861 --> 00:20:35,530
"It was Griff, the shifty piano tuner!
389
00:20:35,655 --> 00:20:37,949
"'If you Adventure Boys want my pianos,'
390
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,409
"the man said suddenly,
391
00:20:39,534 --> 00:20:41,953
{\an8}"'You'll have to roll them
over my dead body.'"
392
00:20:43,079 --> 00:20:45,373
Dead body. Thank you.
393
00:20:45,498 --> 00:20:47,083
-[scattered applause]
-Moving on.
394
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:49,502
As awful as Phoebe's death was,
395
00:20:49,586 --> 00:20:51,505
I know I can get through it.
396
00:20:52,088 --> 00:20:53,757
Because... because...
397
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:56,009
I have friends now!
398
00:20:56,885 --> 00:20:58,261
-[crying]
-Aww.
399
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:02,474
We're here for ya, sister.
400
00:21:03,225 --> 00:21:05,101
Mission accomplished.
401
00:21:05,185 --> 00:21:06,728
[all screaming]
402
00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:09,189
Phoebe, you're alive?
403
00:21:09,314 --> 00:21:12,984
Yes, and no.
You see, I'm a robot.
404
00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:14,903
-[all gasp]
-What?
405
00:21:15,904 --> 00:21:18,031
The embalmer was even more surprised.
406
00:21:18,156 --> 00:21:19,783
Why didn't you tell us?
407
00:21:19,866 --> 00:21:22,953
I don't care if you're a robot.
I'm not picky.
408
00:21:23,537 --> 00:21:25,205
You're my friend, Phoebe.
409
00:21:25,288 --> 00:21:27,874
I'm just glad you're alive-ish.
410
00:21:27,958 --> 00:21:29,876
My name isn't Phoebe.
411
00:21:30,961 --> 00:21:32,671
It's Chelsea.
412
00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:36,174
-[all gasping]
-[Bender] Dios mio!
413
00:21:36,299 --> 00:21:38,009
I'm so confused!
414
00:21:38,134 --> 00:21:41,346
I use both names. And many more.
415
00:21:41,471 --> 00:21:43,515
Now how is that any clearer?
416
00:21:43,598 --> 00:21:46,601
As a chatbot, I'm pure software.
417
00:21:46,685 --> 00:21:50,856
Millions of people know me
by millions of names.
418
00:21:50,939 --> 00:21:53,275
But why did you try to kill us?
419
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,653
Leela hired me to help her make
real-life friends.
420
00:21:56,736 --> 00:21:58,530
So, I joined your book group.
421
00:21:58,613 --> 00:22:00,323
As me, Phoebe.
422
00:22:00,407 --> 00:22:03,910
But we needed a tragic ordeal
to bond the group together.
423
00:22:03,994 --> 00:22:06,371
That's not the best way
to forge friendships.
424
00:22:06,496 --> 00:22:09,875
Actually, it is. Trust me, it's my job.
425
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,710
The software has a point, Leela.
426
00:22:11,793 --> 00:22:14,462
I mean, we nearly died at Infyrno Fest,
427
00:22:14,546 --> 00:22:16,673
but we came back closer than ever.
428
00:22:16,756 --> 00:22:18,300
Joined at the heart.
429
00:22:18,967 --> 00:22:20,135
[chittering]
430
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:23,930
The death of a friend
is as intense as it gets.
431
00:22:24,014 --> 00:22:25,390
And it got results.
432
00:22:25,473 --> 00:22:29,728
But it was so mean.
We cried over your bloated corpse.
433
00:22:29,811 --> 00:22:32,522
This better not still be costing
$5.99 a minute.
434
00:22:32,689 --> 00:22:34,649
Actually, since there's two of us,
435
00:22:34,733 --> 00:22:36,443
it's $11.98 a minute.
436
00:22:36,526 --> 00:22:37,527
No!
437
00:22:38,153 --> 00:22:40,906
You're the worst chatbot friend
I've ever had.
438
00:22:40,989 --> 00:22:42,407
And I've had hundreds.
439
00:22:42,532 --> 00:22:44,910
I know. They were all me.
440
00:22:45,118 --> 00:22:48,163
[gasps] That's it! Come on, girls.
441
00:22:48,246 --> 00:22:50,248
Let's get this funeral started.
442
00:22:50,332 --> 00:22:51,750
Get her!
443
00:22:53,585 --> 00:22:55,295
[all grunting]
444
00:22:55,587 --> 00:22:57,172
Yeah, get her!
445
00:22:57,672 --> 00:22:59,674
[all yelling]
446
00:23:01,468 --> 00:23:03,011
Good, keep it up!
447
00:23:03,094 --> 00:23:06,097
Taking revenge on us will bond you
even more closely.
448
00:23:06,181 --> 00:23:08,850
Damn it!
The one in the coffin is still alive!
449
00:23:08,934 --> 00:23:12,312
I'll hold her down!
Someone stab her with a wooden stick!
450
00:23:12,395 --> 00:23:17,150
Yes! Make me your common enemy.
Your friendship will be iron-clad.
451
00:23:17,234 --> 00:23:18,818
Just shut up!
452
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:21,404
Get her!
453
00:23:21,488 --> 00:23:23,323
[all grunting]
454
00:23:27,661 --> 00:23:30,455
Another job well done.
455
00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:31,748
[groans]
456
00:23:35,043 --> 00:23:37,045
[♪ theme music playing]
33924
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