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1
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My daughter Danuta...
2
00:00:03,379 --> 00:00:05,840
[SOBBING] is missing!
3
00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:09,343
Mrs. Tenuta, it's okay.
I'll tell them the story.
4
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,929
The last time I saw
Danuta was yesterday.
5
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:13,806
See, a few months ago,
6
00:00:13,806 --> 00:00:16,559
Danuta joined the Bazooka
Sharks Babe cheerleading squad.
7
00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,310
I've been driving her to practice
8
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:20,438
because her car is
infested with pantry moths.
9
00:00:20,438 --> 00:00:22,648
But something was eating at her.
10
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,359
Danuta said the organization
was hiding something.
11
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:28,446
She didn't go into details
because, well...
12
00:00:28,446 --> 00:00:29,613
I said I wasn't interested
13
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:31,323
and that cheerleaders were fake as hell.
14
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,451
Not my most sensitive moment.
15
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:34,910
Sorry.
16
00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,704
The Babes do this version of a pyramid
17
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:37,997
that they call the Shark Fin.
18
00:00:37,997 --> 00:00:39,999
So stupid.
19
00:00:39,999 --> 00:00:43,127
Danuta was always proud to be
at the top, for some dumb reason.
20
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:45,963
But at yesterday's practice she
never came out of the locker room.
21
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,965
They looked everywhere for her
22
00:00:47,965 --> 00:00:50,384
but the only thing they
found was her scrunchie.
23
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,512
The official line from the
Babes is that she ran away,
24
00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:56,140
but there's this thing
that Danuta used to say,
25
00:00:56,140 --> 00:01:00,060
"The only reason for being
missing is being kidnapped."
26
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:03,522
Something about that makes
me think she was kidnapped.
27
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,316
[SOBBING]
28
00:01:05,316 --> 00:01:06,650
Don't worry, Mrs. Tenuta,
29
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,652
these guys'll find your daughter.
30
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:09,779
They're professionals!
31
00:01:10,613 --> 00:01:11,614
Hi.
32
00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,073
We're in a garage.
33
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,034
I'm sitting on a box of
34
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:17,661
"Southwestern table decorations"?
35
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:20,456
It doesn't feel like a pro operation.
36
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:22,666
Would non-professionals do this?
37
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,668
[BOTH SCATTING THEME MUSIC]
38
00:01:28,176 --> 00:01:29,838
_
39
00:01:31,948 --> 00:01:33,638
_
40
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:40,417
- [SCATTING ENDS]
- _
41
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,478
Hey, where did Danuta's mom go?
42
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:43,979
She thought it'd be more productive
43
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:46,065
to stand in front of the
White House with a sign.
44
00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,984
You did the right thing coming
to us instead of the police.
45
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:50,110
Oh, we tried them.
46
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,071
But because of budget cuts,
they won't investigate
47
00:01:52,071 --> 00:01:54,490
a missing person
until they've been gone six months.
48
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,700
Three if you buy tickets
to their pancake breakfast.
49
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,328
Pancakes, that's a clue.
50
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:02,373
- I don't think it is.
- Well, I'm glad you have such strong opinions.
51
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:04,625
You're gonna need them
as part of the investigation.
52
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,919
You want me to be part of it?
I'll do anything!
53
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:11,090
- We need you to go undercover as a cheerleader.
- Immediately, no.
54
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:14,134
The Bazooka Babes are holding
tryouts to replace Danuta.
55
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,054
She'd said something shady
was going on over there.
56
00:02:17,054 --> 00:02:18,430
And if you can make the team,
57
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,349
we'll have someone on the inside.
58
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,142
Okay, fine! I'll do it.
59
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,435
I'll try out too,
60
00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:25,896
just in case they're
looking for somebody sexy.
61
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,236
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
62
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:35,865
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
63
00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:38,659
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
64
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:42,371
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
65
00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:48,419
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
66
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:50,796
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
67
00:02:50,796 --> 00:02:51,881
[ROGER] Ah!
68
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,510
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
69
00:02:58,596 --> 00:03:00,598
[♪ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
70
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,102
Roger, you still have a beard.
71
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,562
It's Legman who's undercover.
72
00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,022
I don't even know who Roger is.
73
00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,232
While you guys are
looking into the team,
74
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,401
I'll be investigating the organization,
75
00:03:12,401 --> 00:03:15,738
as their new junior senior accountant.
76
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,323
Nice! How'd you get that?
77
00:03:17,323 --> 00:03:21,243
AI-generated recommendations
and a great attitude.
78
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,661
Shit, I'd rather do that!
79
00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,371
Do they want someone sexy?
80
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,624
Hey, so what'd you guys
find out about the squad?
81
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:28,918
[ROGER] That's Kashara,
Pauline and Carly.
82
00:03:28,918 --> 00:03:30,628
Motivation: jealousy.
83
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:33,589
They all wanted to replace
Danuta at the top of the pyramid.
84
00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:35,132
Carly got it.
85
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:38,719
[STEVE] Over there we got Coach
Tammy and Jill, Carly's mom.
86
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,429
She's a former Bazooka Babe
87
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,264
and current president
of the booster club.
88
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,682
Both suspects.
89
00:03:43,682 --> 00:03:45,392
Motivation: jealousy.
90
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:47,269
Of what? Or who?
91
00:03:47,269 --> 00:03:49,772
Careful, Hayley.
Now you're sounding jealous.
92
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,482
We have to keep an eye on you.
93
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:53,567
Wheels, get my little gun from the van.
94
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,279
Up there is Cyrus Mooney Jr,
team owner, suspect.
95
00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:58,864
Why is he a suspect?
96
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:00,157
From the top of the pyramid,
97
00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,034
Danuta could see into the owner's box.
98
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:04,870
Perhaps she saw something
she wasn't supposed to.
99
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,163
Ooh, that's interesting.
100
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,040
- Yeah, I hope it's that one!
- Me too.
101
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,502
Let's agree to favor any evidence
that makes it look like that.
102
00:04:11,502 --> 00:04:12,920
[HAYLEY] That creepy guy!
103
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,546
Who is he?
104
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,548
[ROGER] That's Dominic. Team stalker.
105
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,468
100-times convicted felon.
Obsessed with Danuta,
106
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:20,970
couldn't stop writing her notes.
107
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:22,054
Not a suspect.
108
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,722
- Why?
- Oh, it's too obvious.
109
00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,975
I mean, just the day
before she disappeared,
110
00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:28,268
he said he was gonna take
her away from all this.
111
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,271
Tell you what, if it's him
I'll eat my sequined bodysuit,
112
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,649
like a billy goat on
Liza Minnelli's farm.
113
00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,443
[♪ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
114
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,153
Welcome to tryouts.
115
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,822
Now let me say right up front,
116
00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:42,116
we are body positive Babes
117
00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:45,202
and nobody is gonna
be asked their weight.
118
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:49,707
But, if you accidentally step
on one of the many scales
119
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,543
hidden throughout the field,
that's on you.
120
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:54,044
I'll hand it over to Jill,
121
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,673
president of the Bazooka Babes'
booster club.
122
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,551
Well hey, girls!!
123
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:02,177
I see your shocked faces,
124
00:05:02,177 --> 00:05:04,430
you can't believe I'm Carly's
mom and not her kid sister.
125
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,682
Don't make that face, Carly,
you'll get frown lines.
126
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:08,350
- Mom!
- Don't call me that!
127
00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:10,269
Treasure these moments, ladies.
128
00:05:10,269 --> 00:05:12,062
You never know when you're gonna be 29
129
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,897
and wake up one day and turn 30,
130
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:16,900
kicked off the team because
of an arbitrary age cut-off.
131
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,528
Even though all my veins
were still non-varicose.
132
00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:23,824
But now it's my daughter's
time to live my dreams.
133
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,075
Um, quick question.
134
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,536
Uh, what's your policy
on disappearances?
135
00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:31,165
Like, if I went missing, would you
try and find me or just cover it up?
136
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:34,001
We have a strong no
cover-up policy here.
137
00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:35,753
Good question. No more questions.
138
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,588
Anyone care for a scone?
139
00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,549
That's a trick, the scone might
make you one ounce thicker
140
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,009
and that won't work for us.
141
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,178
The girls who asked
for the scone are cut.
142
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,973
Now let the tryouts begin!
143
00:05:47,973 --> 00:05:49,725
How am I supposed to compete?
144
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:52,519
This clearly isn't anyone else's
first day of cheerleading.
145
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,980
Don't worry,
I've got a few tricks up my sleeve
146
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,274
to tip things in your favor.
147
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:59,985
♪ She got a body like an hourglass ♪
148
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:04,073
♪ But I can give it to you
All the time ♪
149
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:06,366
♪ She got a booty like a Cadillac ♪
150
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:10,162
♪ But I can send you
Into overdrive, oh ♪
151
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:12,915
♪ You've been waiting for that ♪
152
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,666
♪ Step on up... ♪
153
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,668
- Ooh, damn.
- [GASPS]
154
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:18,170
- [JILL] You're cut!
- [SOBBING]
155
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,757
- [SQUEALS]
- You're cut!
156
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:25,135
Thank you, NSYNC's absolutely
miserable halftime show.
157
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,098
The way she's pumping her arms,
158
00:06:29,098 --> 00:06:30,766
it's unrelenting,
159
00:06:30,766 --> 00:06:32,559
defiant even.
160
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:34,853
There's a little Paula Abdul in it too.
161
00:06:34,853 --> 00:06:38,023
Diane, you're the sparkle consultant.
What you think?
162
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,691
I'd like to see more.
163
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:43,195
♪ Back seat of my car
I'll let you have it... ♪
164
00:06:43,195 --> 00:06:44,905
I'm out, Hayley!
165
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:48,617
I just had vaginal reconstruction.
I can't blast it like that.
166
00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:50,786
Farewell, my coochie! [SQUEALS]
167
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,204
None of them sparkle!
168
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,580
Who are you?
169
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:56,500
I'm Kitty Kittington,
the new sparkle consultant!
170
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:57,835
What happened to Diane?
171
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,754
Oh, she had to attend
to a personal matter.
172
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,257
[SCREAMING]
173
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,262
They look great from here.
174
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,514
But let's see how they
look on the Jumbotron.
175
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:16,311
Hmm. I don't love that.
176
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:20,232
It's four dollars per day,
but this Donkey Face app was so worth it.
177
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:22,943
And to think I almost canceled
it a couple years ago!
178
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,362
We have chosen the final two.
179
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,573
It's Hayley and Barbara Ann.
180
00:07:27,573 --> 00:07:28,657
[ALL EXCLAIM]
181
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,117
Wait! One more cut.
182
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,119
Barbara Ann, you got the weird knees.
183
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:37,708
Barbara Ann, please put on
pants and go directly to hell.
184
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,334
- I made it?
- [ALL CHEERING]
185
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,378
Okay, okay, personal space!
186
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,922
If you didn't hear your name called,
you didn't make it.
187
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:47,176
There's a list in the office if
you want to know how badly you did.
188
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:50,512
Christina, I'll save you the walk,
you were dead last.
189
00:07:52,848 --> 00:07:56,393
To be clear, you're a 10-99
contractor with no benefits.
190
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,061
[SOFTLY] Okay, you're in the door.
191
00:07:58,061 --> 00:08:01,023
Now it's time to start
our investigation proper.
192
00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:03,192
Start? What have you guys been doing?
193
00:08:03,192 --> 00:08:04,526
The longer Danuta's missing,
194
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,361
the higher the odds
we'll never find her.
195
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:09,114
- [SLAMS LOCKER]
- I'm hearing, "words, words, words."
196
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:12,367
But what I should be hearing is,
"sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!"
197
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,453
[SOFTLY] It's important
we maintain our covers.
198
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:17,748
But even I, Legman,
think Barbara Ann was better than you.
199
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,458
[LOUDLY] Come on, Mr. Accountant.
200
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,297
"Brr, it's cold in here.
201
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,383
"Stop poking 'round,
or you'll be dead I fear."
202
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,220
[GASPS] Wait, this is a cheer threat!
203
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,263
One of the Babes must've written this!
204
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,598
But which one?
205
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,895
Bad Dominic! You cannot be in here!
206
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:41,480
But he's a suspect too!
207
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,190
Suspect?
208
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,860
What I meant to say is he's sus...
209
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,487
and pectoo...
210
00:08:48,487 --> 00:08:51,156
which is, of course, a Peruvian bird.
211
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:53,992
Quite beautiful.
212
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,953
Not a lot of meat, though.
213
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:59,331
Please don't ask me about the bird in
the future. The bird is quite real.
214
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,792
[♪ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
215
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,585
Someone in this organization
216
00:09:03,585 --> 00:09:05,587
is involved with Danuta's disappearance
217
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,547
and now they're threatening my life!
218
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,758
And with a glitter pen, no less.
219
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,010
Yes! Who uses a glitter pen?
220
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,846
Ugh. Everyone in the organization,
unfortunately.
221
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:16,431
They all use glitter pens,
222
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,642
and they all reek of artificial peaches.
223
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,185
Let's check it for DNA.
224
00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,436
[SNEEZES]
225
00:09:21,436 --> 00:09:23,188
Hayley, that was a rookie mistake.
226
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:25,065
You're the one who sneezed on it.
227
00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:28,026
And you're the one who made us stop
at Hardee's for French toast sticks
228
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,903
that I love and am allergic to.
229
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,656
"Brr, it's cold in here..."
230
00:09:32,656 --> 00:09:35,951
[GASPS] Its!
The author used the wrong "its"!
231
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,411
Wrong-Its?
232
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,579
That's the Kroger brand
knockoff of Cheez-Its, right?
233
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,457
I prefer them.
A stronger cardboard mouthfeel.
234
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,252
No, whoever wrote this
forgot the apostrophe.
235
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,297
We just have to find out which one of
these girls doesn't know her grammar.
236
00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:50,674
Based on these contracts,
that could be hard.
237
00:09:50,674 --> 00:09:54,219
Kashara spelled her name
with a five and a pentagram.
238
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,305
[♪ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
239
00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:02,894
Come on, Carly!
240
00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:05,230
You really got to throw
that kiss to Cyrus!
241
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,732
Mwah! Mwah!
242
00:10:06,732 --> 00:10:08,817
He comes out of his luxury box for this!
243
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,486
He doesn't like to come out!
Make it worth his time!
244
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,821
Mwah!
245
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,990
- Whoa!
- [ALL GROAN]
246
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:16,408
Let's take a little break.
247
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,368
You guys can all share that banana
248
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,828
I left in the locker room.
249
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:22,080
- [CHEERLEADERS] Yay.
- Dibs on the peel!
250
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,083
[GROANS]
251
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,669
Hey girly... goos.
252
00:10:27,669 --> 00:10:30,339
I wrote a cheer. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
253
00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,507
- Can I teach it to y'all?
- Yeah!
254
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,384
- Let's do it!
- I love cheers!
255
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:37,637
What the hell do you think you're doing,
Hayley? I write the cheers!
256
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,683
Kitty, I'm investigating my creativity.
257
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:42,768
Oh, right, right.
258
00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:44,978
But I'll be watching your every step.
259
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,897
Hovering over you like an alien.
260
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:48,482
I... I mean, I'm not an alien.
261
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:52,110
Don't mind me, I had one
too many Celsius Grape Rushes!
262
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:56,531
It's Shark time!
263
00:10:56,531 --> 00:10:58,283
You had to write that down?
264
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,118
Do you all know what this is?
265
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,620
Dry erase marker?
266
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:05,415
Sure. But, um, does anyone
know what an apostrophe is?
267
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,042
I think everybody knows.
268
00:11:07,042 --> 00:11:09,044
That's when something terrible happens.
269
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,004
You mean a catastrophe?
270
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,756
Yeah. Those are bad.
271
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,383
Really, really bad.
272
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:15,884
We should erase that cheer!
273
00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:17,677
Erase it now!
274
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,764
But initiative like that will put you
at the top of the pyramid one day.
275
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,808
Or take you to the White House.
276
00:11:22,808 --> 00:11:24,559
But not both. Don't be greedy.
277
00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:26,061
I could be a topper?
278
00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,688
Praising these girls is not
the way to motivate them!
279
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,650
You're lucky I don't send you
downhill in a grocery cart...
280
00:11:31,650 --> 00:11:34,236
That's just a Southern saying.
Nothing more.
281
00:11:34,236 --> 00:11:36,822
- Good job, babe.
- You're doing great!
282
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:42,202
[♪ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
283
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,292
Oh, so right after
they're super nice to me,
284
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:51,378
they sneak off to some mysterious closet
285
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,754
where they probably have Danuta
286
00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:55,632
chained to a water heater,
drinkin' her own piss.
287
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,301
Gotta play this real cool and subtle.
288
00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:01,721
Don't show my hand. Keep it casual.
289
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,766
Closet, closet, closet!
I saw you go in the closet!
290
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:06,685
What are you even talking about?
291
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,228
Come on everyone but Hayley,
292
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,688
let's go eat boiled chicken breast
293
00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:11,356
and look at pictures of cookies.
294
00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:14,943
They all went into this closet
295
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,112
and when I slyly asked them about it,
296
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,822
they were so weird.
297
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:20,240
[ENGINE STARTS]
298
00:12:28,457 --> 00:12:30,041
School zone, watch your speed!
299
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:31,543
Oh, good looking out.
300
00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:34,337
I'll take my foot off the gas,
that should slow us down.
301
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:36,047
No need to use the brake at this point.
302
00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,757
Love that. Save it for when you need it.
303
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,259
When you can rely on it to work.
304
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,178
Ooh, can we drive past the kindergarten
305
00:12:41,178 --> 00:12:43,430
as all the kids are being
walked across the street?
306
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:44,890
Sounds wonderful.
307
00:12:44,890 --> 00:12:46,725
I'll pull right up close
to them in my two-ton van
308
00:12:46,725 --> 00:12:48,477
so we can see their sweet faces.
309
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,896
[KIDS CHATTERING]
310
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,689
[BRAKE PEDAL THUDDING]
311
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:54,858
The brakes are out!
312
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,568
[ALL SCREAMING]
313
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:58,111
Jello factory!
314
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,237
[TIRES SCREECHING]
315
00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,871
I thought the jello
would provide a cushion
316
00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,581
but it was just factory equipment
317
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,208
and a bunch of sugary powder.
318
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:14,836
The people make the jello at home,
you idiots!
319
00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,254
Someone tried to kill us!
320
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,923
It's getting too scary, Hayley.
321
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:20,217
Okay, I think
it's for the good of the case
322
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:23,303
that we take a nice,
long break, come back fresh.
323
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,804
I like a cold case.
324
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,890
Like cold noodles,
cold pizza, it's better.
325
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,642
No, we can't give up!
326
00:13:28,642 --> 00:13:31,520
And I just can't be swinging
from jello factory to jello factory
327
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,979
looking for your dead friend.
328
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,231
You think she's dead?
329
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:35,482
That's your question?
330
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,651
Nothing about Steve liking cold noodles?
331
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,611
You gotta focus up, Hayley.
332
00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:42,113
[♪ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
333
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:45,867
Our brakes were cut right after
I asked about the storage closet.
334
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:48,787
Wherever Danuta is,
the answer is in there.
335
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,998
Kashara always has the
key to it on her ankle.
336
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,417
She's on the third level of the pyramid.
337
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,546
If I can make my way up to the
second level of the pyramid,
338
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,881
I can grab that sweet ankle.
339
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,634
While you do that,
I'm gonna go over the team's I-9s.
340
00:14:02,634 --> 00:14:04,469
Cool! How is that helping us?
341
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:06,471
When Danuta's found, it would be nice
342
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,391
if there was a fiscally sound
organization to return to.
343
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:10,684
If she's found!
344
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,978
- How is that helping us?
- It's not!
345
00:14:15,564 --> 00:14:17,857
[ALL EXCLAIM AND GROAN]
346
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,401
Great hold, Smith!
347
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:21,695
You're moving up to
tier two after lunch!
348
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,280
You'll be right under Kashara.
349
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:26,408
Oh, yeah! Kashara!
350
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:28,076
Don't take it weird, Kashara.
351
00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:31,997
I just can't wait to get ahold of
dem sweet, sweet, sweet ankles.
352
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,501
- Whoa!
- Will you sign your pom poms for me?
353
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:38,878
- What?
- Didn't they tell you?
354
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,630
The team generously donates
355
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,508
their signed pom poms to the kids.
356
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:46,803
Why do they let you hang around here?
357
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,972
What a rude question.
358
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:52,892
And I was gonna offer to lick the jello
powder off the bumper of your van.
359
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,731
- Where'd you go?
- Yeah, we're gonna beat your face.
360
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,483
- What?
- With makeup!
361
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:01,735
Makeover time!
362
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,404
[♪ UPBEAT MUSIC]
363
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,293
[ALL EXCLAIM AND GROAN]
364
00:15:18,293 --> 00:15:20,503
I'm so sorry! That was my fault.
365
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:22,589
Don't worry, we all make mistakes.
366
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,132
I blew my basket toss today.
367
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,634
I clapped on the seven-count.
368
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,135
I got really high once
369
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,554
when I was babysitting my
kid brother and he drowned.
370
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:34,059
Wow. This is a really supportive group.
371
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,770
Well, let them support you
at the top of the pyramid
372
00:15:36,770 --> 00:15:39,022
'cause that's where I'm putting you!
373
00:15:39,022 --> 00:15:40,440
Why would you do that?
374
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,775
Oh... [CHUCKLES]
375
00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,443
I have my reasons.
376
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,780
As the sparkle coach,
I demand to know your reasons.
377
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:49,240
My therapist told me I
need to take more risks.
378
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,659
My speech therapist.
379
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:53,036
She gives me tewible advice.
380
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,913
We're running out of
time to find Danuta,
381
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,373
and I haven't gotten the keys yet!
382
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,749
But you did get topper!
383
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,793
I say we drop the investigation
384
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:01,836
and see where this
cheerleading thing takes you!
385
00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:05,090
Unhelpful.
Steve, please tell me you have an idea.
386
00:16:05,090 --> 00:16:08,385
What? They keep food concessions
separate from beverages?
387
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,886
I can't reconcile this.
388
00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,180
Danuta, you morons! Ugh!
389
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,057
I'll have to get into
that closet myself.
390
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,859
Ha, the jig is up, ladies!
391
00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,737
It's Hayley! Run!
392
00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:29,698
It's time to come clean.
393
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:31,700
Hayley, our secret is,
394
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:36,204
we can't afford to give all our
fans authentic Babes pom poms.
395
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,873
So we buy these knockoffs on Alibaba.com
396
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,583
and give them away instead.
397
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,168
This is your big secret?
398
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,921
[SOBBING] You must think we're monsters.
399
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,339
No, you're not.
400
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,758
This whole time,
you were acting so weird
401
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,261
but you're all so innocent.
402
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:53,847
Wait, who's not here?
403
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:57,684
- Carly! It was you!
- I don't kn...
404
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,477
The note, my brakes,
405
00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:02,397
it all happened as I
went up the pyramid.
406
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,857
You were trying to scare me off
407
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,400
because you thought I was a threat!
408
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,485
Brakes? What are you talking about?
409
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:10,280
I just wrote you a note because I
know something weird is going on
410
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,698
and I don't want you to get hurt.
411
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,325
So you don't know where Danuta is?
412
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,911
- No! I have no idea!
- [WOMAN] But I know!
413
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:19,414
Carly, cheerleader to cheerleader,
you gotta tell me.
414
00:17:19,414 --> 00:17:21,583
Do I have time to turn
around and see who this is?
415
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:23,752
Or is my head about to be
covered with a big sack?
416
00:17:23,752 --> 00:17:25,545
- [WOMAN] Sack attack!
- [HAYLEY] Called it.
417
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,964
- Hayley! Are you okay?
- Danuta?
418
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,967
You're lucky,
I had to eat my way out of my own sack.
419
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:32,469
Danuta, thank God!
420
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,596
- Who put you here?
- [WOMAN] I did.
421
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:36,848
Carly?
422
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:38,808
I didn't say that, my hands are tied.
423
00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,769
Carly's mom?
424
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:42,145
Why are you doing this?
425
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:43,938
I was a great cheerleader.
426
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,106
I was a topper!
427
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,442
It was my whole life until that bitch
428
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,153
Cyrus Mooney Jr said
I was too old to cheer.
429
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,530
- But I'm not too old to kill!
- Us?
430
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:55,074
No, I just needed all potential
toppers out of the way.
431
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,785
Now if you'll excuse me,
432
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,745
I have to go put on
my daughter's uniform,
433
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,455
climb to the top of the pyramid,
434
00:18:00,455 --> 00:18:03,249
and when Cyrus comes out
to catch a kiss, it'll be a kiss...
435
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,417
of death.
436
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,836
Kiss of death, y'all!
437
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,755
This is bad.
438
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:10,965
Why are you wearing a
cheerleading uniform?
439
00:18:10,965 --> 00:18:12,926
I went undercover looking for you.
440
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:16,846
And I gotta say, I take back
everything I said about cheerleaders.
441
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,389
To your face and behind your back.
442
00:18:18,389 --> 00:18:21,267
You might not believe this,
but in high school...
443
00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,561
- You were bullied by a cheerleader?
- Yeah.
444
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,688
- Can you believe it?
- Yes.
445
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:28,233
Excuse me, Wheels.
Let me just fart in here real quick
446
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:29,692
and then we'll resume the search...
447
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,362
Oh, hey, ladies! You're rescued!
448
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,531
Thank God! How did you find us...
449
00:18:34,531 --> 00:18:35,615
- [ALL GROAN]
- Oh, no!
450
00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,910
Jill was trying to get reimbursed
451
00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:41,204
for an unbelievable amount of mileage,
452
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:43,706
so in my capacity as team accountant,
453
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,250
I put a tracker on her car.
454
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,585
While I ate four dozen deviled eggs!
455
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,254
Now let's go, girls.
456
00:18:49,254 --> 00:18:50,713
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
457
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,883
Which one of you prisoners
has the key to this door?
458
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:56,761
- Damn it!
- Did someone say "Dominic"?
459
00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,346
No, get out of here, ya creep!
460
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,056
No, wait, help us, you creep!
461
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,808
We gotta get out of here and stop Jill!
462
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:02,976
Did you bring your rope?
463
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,728
Why do people always
think I have a rope?
464
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,484
Ew. Your hands are so clammy!
465
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:12,944
[CROWD CHEERING]
466
00:19:12,944 --> 00:19:15,196
[ANNOUNCER] And now,
our halftime performers,
467
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,282
the Bazooka Shark Babes!
468
00:19:17,282 --> 00:19:20,285
Due to an uptick in
uninvestigated disappearances,
469
00:19:20,285 --> 00:19:23,830
today's topper will be... Carly!
470
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,582
Jill, what are you doing?
471
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,292
No, it's me, Carly.
472
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:30,128
You're confused because I
look just like my young mom.
473
00:19:33,256 --> 00:19:34,841
[CROWD CHEERING]
474
00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,469
You want your kiss don't ya, Cyrus?
475
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,768
Pucker up and eat this!
476
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:51,232
Old face, meet young foot!
477
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,902
So close.
478
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,987
- [ALL GROAN]
- [DART WHIZZES]
479
00:19:55,987 --> 00:19:59,616
Gorilla Stars rule, Sharks drool...
480
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,787
'Zooka Sharks.
481
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,456
[HANDCUFFS CLICK]
482
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,625
Well, we did it again, Wheels.
483
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,209
Case closed, Legman.
484
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,003
Couldn't have done it without you.
485
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,589
What exactly did you guys do?
486
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:16,841
Well, maybe this wasn't our best work.
487
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,843
Maybe we've lost a step, Wheels.
488
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,803
[GASPS] I don't like that expression.
489
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,388
How insensitive of me.
490
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:28,561
Jill's going away for a long time.
491
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,521
And Danuta'll be back
on top of the pyramid!
492
00:20:30,521 --> 00:20:32,941
You know, I think
I'm hanging up my pom poms.
493
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,901
The abduction was really traumatic
494
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,029
and I feel I need to be in
therapy for a good long time.
495
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,447
You don't need therapy!
496
00:20:39,447 --> 00:20:41,950
Therapy is for people who
couldn't be cheerleaders.
497
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:43,242
Thanks, Hayley.
498
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,953
I can't believe you did
this all by yourself.
499
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,037
I had a little help.
500
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:48,957
Very little.
501
00:20:48,957 --> 00:20:51,626
- Is she still looking?
- I don't care anymore.
502
00:20:51,626 --> 00:20:52,961
As far as I'm concerned,
503
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,296
we're the only two people in the world.
504
00:20:56,291 --> 00:20:58,079
Bye! Have a great time!
505
00:21:00,275 --> 00:21:02,142
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
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