All language subtitles for going the distance National Lampoon 2004 25fps

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,639 --> 00:00:19,127 [Jet's"Cold Hard Bitch" playing] 2 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,844 Got to leave town got another appointment 3 00:00:26,143 --> 00:00:29,209 Spent all my rent girl you know enjoyed it 4 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,035 Yeah 5 00:00:33,151 --> 00:00:36,566 Ain't going to hang around till there's nobody dancing 6 00:00:36,639 --> 00:00:37,752 I don't want to hold hands 7 00:00:37,824 --> 00:00:39,798 And talk about our little plans 8 00:00:39,871 --> 00:00:41,660 All right 9 00:00:43,552 --> 00:00:47,327 cold hard bitch just a kiss on the lips 10 00:00:47,392 --> 00:00:50,840 And was on my knees I'm waiting give me 11 00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:52,406 cold hard bitch... 12 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:53,854 13 00:00:53,919 --> 00:00:56,919 ...You're stuck here in the middle and you got it 14 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:00,789 Stuck in the middle 15 00:01:00,864 --> 00:01:02,751 You're stuck here in the middle 16 00:01:02,815 --> 00:01:04,473 And you got it 17 00:01:04,543 --> 00:01:09,246 Yeah 18 00:01:09,312 --> 00:01:11,384 Yeah yeah 19 00:01:11,455 --> 00:01:13,211 I'm an adult now. Whoo! 20 00:01:13,279 --> 00:01:15,668 Deep throat. Deep throat. Let's go! 21 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,900 Whoo! 22 00:01:19,968 --> 00:01:21,277 Whoo-hoo. Yeah! 23 00:01:21,344 --> 00:01:23,416 Ahh. 24 00:01:23,487 --> 00:01:26,716 I'm going to college! Whoo! 25 00:01:26,784 --> 00:01:27,798 Evening, fellas. 26 00:01:27,871 --> 00:01:29,300 Nick! Buddy, let's go. 27 00:01:29,376 --> 00:01:31,164 Hey, hey, hey. Come on. 28 00:01:31,232 --> 00:01:33,054 Guys, I can't. Told you, I can't. 29 00:01:35,103 --> 00:01:38,452 Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug! 30 00:01:38,527 --> 00:01:39,388 Put me down! 31 00:01:41,023 --> 00:01:42,398 Oh, man, it's in my nose! 32 00:01:42,464 --> 00:01:43,958 You whacking with condoms now? 33 00:01:44,032 --> 00:01:45,788 Dude, you're supposed to use them, 34 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:48,244 not collect them all. They're not hockey cards. 35 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:49,629 Unless... 36 00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,931 Shut up, man. 37 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,967 Dude, you are tapping ass tonight. Yeah! 38 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,651 Wait. No, no. Not looking like that, You're not. You'll be fine. 39 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,280 Just remember - it's like porn. 40 00:02:00,352 --> 00:02:01,912 You got four positions, three minutes each, 41 00:02:01,983 --> 00:02:03,063 then go forthe face. 42 00:02:03,135 --> 00:02:05,207 No, not the face. Yeah, the face, man. 43 00:02:05,279 --> 00:02:06,556 Monkeys been doing it for decades. 44 00:02:06,623 --> 00:02:08,085 Plus chicks like it. It's an exfoliant. 45 00:02:08,159 --> 00:02:10,167 See you guys around. Wish me luck. 46 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,133 Good luck, Nick. 47 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,174 Hey, keep the wrapper. 48 00:02:13,247 --> 00:02:14,457 What? 49 00:02:14,527 --> 00:02:17,211 You know, like, as a memento or souvenir or something. 50 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,971 Put it in a book or... 51 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,047 What? I'll be over here. 52 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:26,270 Now, it's just a feeling, 53 00:02:26,335 --> 00:02:28,342 and it's hard... 54 00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:31,132 to know why, but... 55 00:02:31,199 --> 00:02:33,468 I think you've got 56 00:02:33,536 --> 00:02:36,732 exactly what I'm looking for, 57 00:02:36,799 --> 00:02:40,028 and I could use you just as soon as possible. 58 00:02:40,095 --> 00:02:41,470 Thanks, Mr. Swackhammer. 59 00:02:41,535 --> 00:02:43,062 I'll call you first thing in the morning. 60 00:02:43,136 --> 00:02:44,729 Yeah, you do that. Trish! 61 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:46,228 Nick, hey. 62 00:02:47,232 --> 00:02:48,661 There you are. 63 00:02:48,735 --> 00:02:49,783 Um, this is... 64 00:02:49,856 --> 00:02:51,863 Please hold. Go forthe Hammer. 65 00:02:53,696 --> 00:02:55,157 No way. 66 00:02:55,231 --> 00:02:56,441 I've been looking foryou. 67 00:02:56,511 --> 00:02:57,918 Are you drunk? 68 00:02:57,983 --> 00:02:59,674 Nick, we had a deal. 69 00:02:59,743 --> 00:03:01,434 Some guy just spilled beer on me. 70 00:03:01,503 --> 00:03:04,819 I'm serious. Trish, come on. 71 00:03:04,895 --> 00:03:07,830 It's the last day of high school. You don't want to leave a virgin 72 00:03:07,904 --> 00:03:09,529 any more than I do. 73 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,465 All right, Nick. You've earned it. 74 00:03:13,535 --> 00:03:14,964 We both have. 75 00:03:17,119 --> 00:03:18,493 Follow me. 76 00:03:20,447 --> 00:03:22,487 Oh, no. Oh, no. 77 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,462 Yeah 78 00:03:35,167 --> 00:03:36,891 Make some noise! 79 00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:42,292 80 00:03:42,367 --> 00:03:44,222 81 00:03:44,287 --> 00:03:46,229 82 00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:50,936 Wow! 83 00:03:51,007 --> 00:03:53,211 Was that all right? Are you kidding? 84 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,581 That was the best two and half minutes of my life. 85 00:03:55,648 --> 00:03:57,109 Really? 86 00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:58,525 Oh, wow. 87 00:03:58,591 --> 00:04:01,526 Can't believe we waited so long to do this. 88 00:04:01,599 --> 00:04:03,192 I've got to make up for lost time. 89 00:04:03,263 --> 00:04:05,019 We're going to have to do this a lot. 90 00:04:05,087 --> 00:04:07,957 Okay. 91 00:04:08,032 --> 00:04:09,014 Thattaboy. Thattaboy. 92 00:04:09,088 --> 00:04:11,389 Yeah. 93 00:04:11,455 --> 00:04:13,528 Oh, shit. 94 00:04:13,599 --> 00:04:16,185 No. Oh, crap. 95 00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:17,368 Whoo! 96 00:04:20,608 --> 00:04:22,331 Yourfriends are a bunch of idiots. 97 00:04:22,399 --> 00:04:23,293 Hey, buddy, 98 00:04:23,359 --> 00:04:25,563 something's wrong with this picture. 99 00:04:25,631 --> 00:04:27,158 Yeah, Nick's having sex and we're not. 100 00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:28,988 Come on. Operation Poontang! 101 00:04:29,055 --> 00:04:30,331 102 00:04:34,111 --> 00:04:37,013 Right now know you're thinking of me 103 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:38,262 Sex 104 00:04:38,335 --> 00:04:41,652 I'm anywhere that you want me to be 105 00:04:41,728 --> 00:04:43,037 Sex 106 00:04:43,103 --> 00:04:45,972 And want you to think that I'm love 107 00:04:47,551 --> 00:04:49,307 On your left, son. 108 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:53,529 What's this for? 109 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,909 Whoo. 110 00:04:54,975 --> 00:04:57,463 It's a piercing chair. 111 00:04:57,535 --> 00:04:58,550 Oh, god. 112 00:04:58,623 --> 00:05:00,030 You guys are doing piercings now? 113 00:05:00,095 --> 00:05:01,753 Yeah, we're diversifying. 114 00:05:01,823 --> 00:05:04,311 Look. They call it the javelin. 115 00:05:04,383 --> 00:05:06,041 You want one on the house? 116 00:05:06,111 --> 00:05:07,900 Drink up. Yin yang huo. 117 00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:10,072 Horny goat weed. 118 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,288 After a rough night of sex, 119 00:05:11,359 --> 00:05:12,853 it's just the thing. 120 00:05:12,927 --> 00:05:13,942 Excuse me? 121 00:05:14,016 --> 00:05:16,383 Oh, don't be coy, Nick. Everybody knows. 122 00:05:16,447 --> 00:05:18,454 Our little boy finally lost his virginity. 123 00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:21,429 Such a shame it was with the spawn of Lucifer. 124 00:05:21,503 --> 00:05:23,030 What? 125 00:05:23,103 --> 00:05:24,151 Who? 126 00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,078 Oh, speak of the devil. 127 00:05:26,144 --> 00:05:27,769 Hey, Nick. 128 00:05:27,839 --> 00:05:29,148 Trish. 129 00:05:30,367 --> 00:05:32,985 Jerry, Toni. 130 00:05:33,055 --> 00:05:34,714 I was wondering where you went. 131 00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:37,173 Had tae-kwon-do class this morning. 132 00:05:37,247 --> 00:05:39,036 Ah! 133 00:05:39,103 --> 00:05:40,761 That's right. 134 00:05:40,831 --> 00:05:41,846 Yeah, get up... 135 00:05:41,919 --> 00:05:43,228 : Before noon. 136 00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:45,182 Yourfolks should try it sometime. 137 00:05:45,247 --> 00:05:46,108 Yeah. 138 00:05:50,496 --> 00:05:52,503 Look, I had a really good time 139 00:05:52,575 --> 00:05:54,168 last night. 140 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,574 Oh, god, so did I. 141 00:05:56,639 --> 00:05:58,330 Oh, hey, you look great today. 142 00:05:58,399 --> 00:06:00,221 Thank you. 143 00:06:00,287 --> 00:06:02,175 What's with the bags? 144 00:06:02,239 --> 00:06:06,582 Actually, that's what I want to talk to you about. 145 00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:11,348 I won't live on this island forever, Nick. 146 00:06:11,423 --> 00:06:13,278 My major's in communications. 147 00:06:13,343 --> 00:06:14,455 This is good for me. 148 00:06:14,527 --> 00:06:15,771 The whole summer? 149 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:17,465 I mean, Trish, what about us? 150 00:06:17,535 --> 00:06:19,640 What about our plans? 151 00:06:19,711 --> 00:06:22,526 Nick, thousands of girls apply forthis thing. 152 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:24,631 He said I'm his first choice. 153 00:06:24,704 --> 00:06:25,631 You met this guy yesterday. 154 00:06:25,695 --> 00:06:26,972 Hey, Trish. 155 00:06:27,039 --> 00:06:30,072 It's go time, kid. Your Eager Beaver awaits. 156 00:06:30,143 --> 00:06:31,452 Back off, Swackhammer, we're having a moment. 157 00:06:33,344 --> 00:06:35,286 Look, my resume could use experience. 158 00:06:35,359 --> 00:06:38,708 If you cared for me, you'll tell me to go. 159 00:06:41,376 --> 00:06:43,710 Okay. 160 00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:45,782 We're going to stay faithful, right? 161 00:06:47,423 --> 00:06:48,503 I'll try. 162 00:06:48,575 --> 00:06:49,622 You'll try? 163 00:06:49,695 --> 00:06:51,353 Come on, Nick. 164 00:06:51,423 --> 00:06:52,984 It's not like we're engaged. 165 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,895 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 166 00:06:58,399 --> 00:06:59,381 Um... 167 00:06:59,455 --> 00:07:00,950 168 00:07:01,023 --> 00:07:02,300 Yo, Trish, let's go! 169 00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:03,382 Be smart. 170 00:07:04,895 --> 00:07:09,434 You don't want to end up like your parents. 171 00:07:11,519 --> 00:07:13,592 172 00:07:31,039 --> 00:07:32,283 Whoo! 173 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,829 Well you play it cool and swell 174 00:07:36,895 --> 00:07:41,270 But I've been through all hell 175 00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:43,765 Plan to make a break think then forget about it 176 00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:46,206 Better if it blinks out 177 00:07:46,271 --> 00:07:51,454 I'm not getting through at all 178 00:07:51,519 --> 00:07:53,820 I don't wanna pray I don't wanna pray 179 00:07:53,887 --> 00:07:54,999 I don't wanna pray 180 00:07:55,071 --> 00:07:57,046 I just wanna get on... 181 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,778 Aah! 182 00:07:58,847 --> 00:08:00,919 What the hell are you doing? 183 00:08:00,991 --> 00:08:03,893 Sending some e-mail photos to Trish 184 00:08:03,967 --> 00:08:06,072 in case she gets homesick. 185 00:08:06,143 --> 00:08:09,078 She's been gone for weeks, pal. Get over it. 186 00:08:09,151 --> 00:08:11,518 Come on, you see those waves out there? 187 00:08:11,583 --> 00:08:13,012 They're gorgeous. 188 00:08:13,087 --> 00:08:15,770 I've been surfing with a hard-on all morning. 189 00:08:15,839 --> 00:08:17,497 Come on. You want in? 190 00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:19,193 Tyler, in all the years you've known me, 191 00:08:19,263 --> 00:08:21,434 have I ever gone surfing? 192 00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:23,292 Oh, Nick, look at you. 193 00:08:23,359 --> 00:08:25,181 You call this a life? 194 00:08:25,247 --> 00:08:26,458 It's about taking chances, man. 195 00:08:26,527 --> 00:08:28,414 Kicking ass. 196 00:08:28,479 --> 00:08:30,072 Look at Dime out there. 197 00:08:30,143 --> 00:08:33,340 He's a total feeb, and he risks dying 198 00:08:33,407 --> 00:08:34,836 every time he goes out there, 199 00:08:34,911 --> 00:08:37,278 yet he keeps doing it. Do you know why? 200 00:08:37,343 --> 00:08:39,863 Uh, yeah, what is it? 201 00:08:39,935 --> 00:08:41,593 Carpe Diem. Seize the day? 202 00:08:41,663 --> 00:08:43,125 Got it. 203 00:08:45,663 --> 00:08:46,907 I don't think you do. 204 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,125 Excuse me? 205 00:08:52,191 --> 00:08:54,526 Can you give me a hand here? 206 00:08:54,591 --> 00:08:56,860 I'm having trouble with my straps. 207 00:08:56,927 --> 00:08:58,902 Uh... yeah. 208 00:08:58,975 --> 00:09:00,469 Sure. 209 00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,577 Come on in. 210 00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:07,481 You know, I'm not really good with knots, 211 00:09:07,551 --> 00:09:09,461 but I can tell... 212 00:09:09,535 --> 00:09:11,477 you've got really great hands. 213 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,696 Thanks. 214 00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:15,156 I bet you're really good with them. 215 00:09:15,231 --> 00:09:18,647 Yeah, I bet you are. 216 00:09:18,719 --> 00:09:19,963 You know... I'm, uh... 217 00:09:20,031 --> 00:09:20,925 I'm seeing someone, 218 00:09:20,991 --> 00:09:22,846 so I'm a little emotionally unavailable. 219 00:09:22,911 --> 00:09:25,180 That's okay. We'll just leave our emotions out of it. 220 00:09:25,247 --> 00:09:26,840 Really, I'm flattered, thank you, but... 221 00:09:26,911 --> 00:09:28,667 Oh, come on. 222 00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:32,150 I mean, they said you'd be tough, but I am half-naked here. 223 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:35,070 They? Who's they? 224 00:09:35,135 --> 00:09:36,564 Um... 225 00:09:36,639 --> 00:09:38,614 Hi, honey. Hey, bud. 226 00:09:38,687 --> 00:09:40,923 We're just trying to, you know, cheeryou up a little bit, 227 00:09:40,991 --> 00:09:42,453 get your mind off Trish. 228 00:09:42,527 --> 00:09:44,894 Oh, and she gave us a terrific rate. 229 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,300 Yeah, well... 230 00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:48,090 You guys got me a hooker? 231 00:09:48,159 --> 00:09:49,053 Oh, no, no. 232 00:09:49,119 --> 00:09:50,613 I'm a massage therapist. 233 00:09:50,687 --> 00:09:53,535 But for an extra 50, I can, you know... 234 00:09:53,599 --> 00:09:55,988 No. I have a girlfriend! And she's beautiful, 235 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:57,437 and smart, and going somewhere. 236 00:09:57,503 --> 00:09:59,805 And afterthese Much Music Awards are over, 237 00:09:59,871 --> 00:10:01,976 she's going to come back here... Whoa. 238 00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:03,902 The Much Music Video Awards? Yeah. 239 00:10:03,967 --> 00:10:04,894 Let me guess. 240 00:10:04,959 --> 00:10:07,992 Internship with Lenny Swackhammer? 241 00:10:08,063 --> 00:10:09,525 You know him? 242 00:10:09,599 --> 00:10:12,382 Oh, I know him all right. All nine inches, in fact. 243 00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:15,545 I had your girlfriend's job last year. That Swackhammer, 244 00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:19,411 he made those awards one hell of a night. 245 00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,462 Whoo! 246 00:10:21,535 --> 00:10:22,462 Wait. Wait. 247 00:10:22,527 --> 00:10:23,771 What are you talking about? 248 00:10:23,839 --> 00:10:25,366 Well, I don't remember much, 249 00:10:25,439 --> 00:10:28,734 but I do recall me and Swacky in a Nickelback sandwich. 250 00:10:28,799 --> 00:10:31,221 The Swackhammer intern deluxe. 251 00:10:31,295 --> 00:10:33,117 Apparently, it's a tradition. 252 00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:34,776 Want a demonstration? 253 00:10:34,847 --> 00:10:37,367 No, actually, I've got to go. 254 00:10:37,439 --> 00:10:38,814 Can I keep this? 255 00:10:38,879 --> 00:10:41,334 Oh, yeah. Sure, babe, sure. 256 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:43,414 Oh, hey, you want a free nipple ring? 257 00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:45,145 Yeah! 258 00:10:53,503 --> 00:10:54,845 259 00:10:54,911 --> 00:10:55,860 Nick! 260 00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:58,073 Free booze. Get your ass out here! 261 00:10:58,143 --> 00:11:01,274 Dude, a beertruck just jackknifed on the highway. 262 00:11:01,342 --> 00:11:04,539 A river of pale ale on the numberfour. Let's go check it out. 263 00:11:04,607 --> 00:11:06,614 Sorry, guys. I got to sit this one out. 264 00:11:06,687 --> 00:11:08,858 I've got some packing to do. One-way ticket to Toronto. 265 00:11:08,927 --> 00:11:10,487 Flight leaves in the morning. 266 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:11,769 You're flying out to see Trish? 267 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:14,425 Why? The girl has a full-time job. 268 00:11:14,495 --> 00:11:15,542 She doesn't have time... 269 00:11:15,615 --> 00:11:17,273 I'm going to ask her to marry me. 270 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:19,896 It looks real, doesn't it? 271 00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:21,942 It cost me 10 bucks. 272 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,127 Hopefully it'll tide her over 273 00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:25,654 till I can get her something better, but... 274 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:26,971 What? 275 00:11:27,039 --> 00:11:28,697 You guys think she's going to know it's fake? 276 00:11:28,767 --> 00:11:31,931 Have you lost yourfucking mind? 277 00:11:31,999 --> 00:11:33,177 Dude, I'm just taking your advice. 278 00:11:33,247 --> 00:11:35,069 You see something you want, you go for it. 279 00:11:35,135 --> 00:11:37,950 I meant get drunk, get laid, go skydiving, 280 00:11:38,015 --> 00:11:40,885 not throw your life away. 281 00:11:40,958 --> 00:11:41,852 Fag. 282 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,293 283 00:11:45,407 --> 00:11:47,862 Congratulations. 284 00:11:54,591 --> 00:11:55,998 Hey, hey, hey. 285 00:11:56,062 --> 00:11:57,589 Who wants brownies? 286 00:11:57,663 --> 00:11:58,645 Not right now, thanks. 287 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,574 Oh, yeah. Oh, and listen, son, 288 00:12:00,639 --> 00:12:01,533 we're, uh... 289 00:12:01,599 --> 00:12:03,606 Sorry about that whole whore thing. 290 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,719 I thought she was a massage therapist. 291 00:12:05,791 --> 00:12:06,871 Honey... 292 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,666 We just want to make sure you're doing this 293 00:12:08,735 --> 00:12:10,077 because you love Trish, 294 00:12:10,143 --> 00:12:12,085 not because she finally popped your cherry. 295 00:12:12,159 --> 00:12:14,134 Stop saying that. 296 00:12:14,206 --> 00:12:15,516 Guys, I love her. 297 00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:17,438 Okay? I really do. 298 00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:18,910 Fine, fine, fine. Have a brownie. 299 00:12:18,975 --> 00:12:20,317 300 00:12:20,383 --> 00:12:22,587 Uh, I'll get it. 301 00:12:26,430 --> 00:12:27,925 Congrats on the wedding. Let's drink. 302 00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,111 I thought you didn't approve. 303 00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,393 I don't. 304 00:12:30,463 --> 00:12:32,732 But I can't send my dawg off to the slaughter 305 00:12:32,798 --> 00:12:34,293 without a properfarewell. 306 00:12:34,366 --> 00:12:36,472 I appreciate it, guys, but I got an early flight. 307 00:12:36,543 --> 00:12:39,030 Muffin. 308 00:12:39,103 --> 00:12:41,591 Okay, two beers, max. 309 00:12:53,310 --> 00:12:54,238 Shit! 310 00:12:58,462 --> 00:13:00,666 My plane. My plane. 311 00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,639 Good morning, sunshine. 312 00:13:08,511 --> 00:13:10,399 Dude, will you cut that out, please? 313 00:13:11,487 --> 00:13:13,942 What the hell's going on? My flight. 314 00:13:14,015 --> 00:13:16,349 Relax, Sparky. We'll get you to Toronto. 315 00:13:16,415 --> 00:13:18,716 Oh, thank god. 316 00:13:18,782 --> 00:13:19,993 I thought I slept in. 317 00:13:20,063 --> 00:13:21,590 Oh, you did. 318 00:13:21,662 --> 00:13:23,866 What? How? I had, like, two beers. 319 00:13:26,143 --> 00:13:27,517 Mom. 320 00:13:27,583 --> 00:13:29,176 Dude, your mom's pot brownies are killer. 321 00:13:29,247 --> 00:13:31,450 You're going to have to totally hook me up with that recipe. 322 00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:32,980 Please, would you cut that out? 323 00:13:33,055 --> 00:13:35,030 Just take me to the airport. I'll fly standby. 324 00:13:35,102 --> 00:13:36,444 Back off, man. 325 00:13:36,510 --> 00:13:39,227 We'll get you to T-dot. 326 00:13:39,294 --> 00:13:40,604 Dude, the airport's that way. 327 00:13:40,671 --> 00:13:41,881 Yeah, I know that. 328 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:42,899 We're taking the scenic route. 329 00:13:42,974 --> 00:13:43,868 Road trip, baby. 330 00:13:43,934 --> 00:13:45,461 Tofino to Toronto. Whoo, surprise! 331 00:13:45,535 --> 00:13:48,470 No. Pull overthe van. No can do. 332 00:13:48,542 --> 00:13:50,964 Schedule's pretty tight, Nick. The awards are less than six days... 333 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,151 Pull overthe fucking van. 334 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:53,684 335 00:13:58,431 --> 00:13:59,860 Why didn't my parents stop you? 336 00:13:59,935 --> 00:14:02,139 Well, they were still passed out when we left, man. 337 00:14:02,207 --> 00:14:05,109 Nick, I don't know what you're so upset about. 338 00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:07,484 You owe us this. I owe you? 339 00:14:07,551 --> 00:14:10,398 Call it what you will. 340 00:14:10,462 --> 00:14:12,634 A rite of passage, a final send-off... 341 00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:13,880 Atravelling bachelor party. 342 00:14:13,950 --> 00:14:16,089 Good one. Thank you very much. 343 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,134 Okay, Nick, I've never been to Banff before, okay, 344 00:14:18,207 --> 00:14:21,916 and I hear Prairie girls taste like corn. 345 00:14:21,982 --> 00:14:24,371 What? You like corn. 346 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,676 As long as we get laid and you're in Toronto by Sunday. 347 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,822 Come on, dude, say yes. 348 00:14:28,895 --> 00:14:32,059 Say yes! Say yes! Say yes, yes! 349 00:14:32,127 --> 00:14:33,142 Say yes! Stop it! 350 00:14:33,215 --> 00:14:35,069 Stop it! Fine, fine! Just stop it! 351 00:14:35,135 --> 00:14:36,028 Shit! 352 00:14:37,279 --> 00:14:39,483 Yahoo! 353 00:14:45,055 --> 00:14:47,924 Oh, oh! 354 00:14:47,999 --> 00:14:50,388 Oh, oh, come on. Look at all that room! 355 00:14:50,463 --> 00:14:52,568 Why don't you try showing some leg... 356 00:14:52,639 --> 00:14:54,395 or something? Don't even. 357 00:14:54,463 --> 00:14:57,180 I'm not the one who got us into this mess. 358 00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:58,588 Hey, you call it a mess. 359 00:14:58,655 --> 00:15:01,044 I call it ourfirst legitimate gig. 360 00:15:01,119 --> 00:15:04,380 Singing telegrams is not a legitimate gig. 361 00:15:04,447 --> 00:15:05,494 Yes, it is. 362 00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:06,494 It's just... 363 00:15:06,558 --> 00:15:08,085 What? 364 00:15:08,159 --> 00:15:10,876 If I wanted a bullshit job, I would've stayed on the rock. 365 00:15:10,942 --> 00:15:12,633 Shut up. 366 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,645 Okay, we got to get somebody here. 367 00:15:14,719 --> 00:15:16,213 I know. Come on. 368 00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:17,302 Oh, Winnie! 369 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,487 Oh, god. 370 00:15:18,559 --> 00:15:19,933 Show leg, leg, leg. 371 00:15:19,998 --> 00:15:21,373 I'm showing. I'm showing. 372 00:15:23,295 --> 00:15:25,945 Well, hello there. 373 00:15:27,295 --> 00:15:29,913 374 00:15:29,983 --> 00:15:31,925 Oh, Johnny Leather, 375 00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:35,315 we got lost on our way to the beach. 376 00:15:35,391 --> 00:15:37,300 Thank goodness you picked us up. 377 00:15:37,374 --> 00:15:38,803 How can we ever repay you, huh? 378 00:15:38,879 --> 00:15:41,334 How about you work my stick while I drive? 379 00:15:41,406 --> 00:15:42,388 Well, sure, 380 00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:44,186 if you promise to pop my clutch. 381 00:15:44,254 --> 00:15:47,571 Oh, mine too. 382 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:48,726 Whoo! 383 00:15:51,966 --> 00:15:53,559 Oh, ho, ho, ho. 384 00:15:53,631 --> 00:15:56,184 Bowm bowm chicky-chicky bowm bow bowm 385 00:15:59,454 --> 00:16:00,665 Yes! Go, go! 386 00:16:00,735 --> 00:16:01,628 Okay. Um... 387 00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:04,084 No, no. We're not stopping. Why the hell not, dude? 388 00:16:04,158 --> 00:16:06,166 This is a motor home, not a Pinto. Share the wealth. 389 00:16:06,239 --> 00:16:08,660 Dude, it's my car, and I make the rules. 390 00:16:08,735 --> 00:16:10,426 This is a road trip. There are no rules. 391 00:16:10,495 --> 00:16:11,956 Get off me! 392 00:16:12,607 --> 00:16:13,948 The last thing we need 393 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,869 are a couple of hapless trannies slowing us down. 394 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:17,363 Look, guys, come on. 395 00:16:17,438 --> 00:16:19,380 They're girls. They're needy. 396 00:16:19,454 --> 00:16:20,981 We'll have to stop every 10 miles, 397 00:16:21,055 --> 00:16:24,022 so they can piddle or change their pads. 398 00:16:24,095 --> 00:16:27,128 Well, I for one could always find time forthe sanctity of female hygiene. 399 00:16:27,198 --> 00:16:28,824 I back that up, brother. 400 00:16:31,807 --> 00:16:34,392 Hey, girls, need a lift? 401 00:16:34,462 --> 00:16:36,699 Hi, my name's Dime. 402 00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,271 Old Nick here's thinking law school, U of T, 403 00:16:41,342 --> 00:16:43,764 so he's taking the campus tour. 404 00:16:43,839 --> 00:16:45,333 And me and Dime, we're the entourage, 405 00:16:45,407 --> 00:16:47,294 the"comic relief," if you will. 406 00:16:47,358 --> 00:16:49,147 So what's the deal with you two? 407 00:16:49,214 --> 00:16:50,392 Spill it. 408 00:16:50,463 --> 00:16:52,732 Oh, you know, just a, uh... 409 00:16:52,799 --> 00:16:56,858 couple of hapless trannies trying to find our way home. 410 00:16:56,927 --> 00:16:58,171 I hearyou, sister. 411 00:16:58,239 --> 00:17:00,311 Hey, hey, food stand, two klicks. 412 00:17:00,382 --> 00:17:01,276 Can we stop? 413 00:17:01,342 --> 00:17:02,968 Well, yeah, I can always use a piddle. 414 00:17:03,039 --> 00:17:05,243 Fancy that. I got to change my pad. 415 00:17:15,198 --> 00:17:16,889 Ooh, what a gentleman. 416 00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,267 417 00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:23,831 Hey, dude, what's up with all this law bullshit? 418 00:17:23,903 --> 00:17:27,612 It's your plan, isn't it? U of T? 419 00:17:27,678 --> 00:17:29,053 Yeah, eventually, but... 420 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:32,697 Besides, it's a whole lot better than that stupid marriage idea. 421 00:17:32,766 --> 00:17:34,173 And do us a favour. 422 00:17:34,238 --> 00:17:35,383 Keep that to yourself. 423 00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:39,709 You know, you wouldn't want to scare off the talent. 424 00:17:39,775 --> 00:17:42,393 Huh? 425 00:17:42,463 --> 00:17:43,805 That one looks naughty. 426 00:17:43,871 --> 00:17:46,773 She's buying a popsicle. 427 00:17:46,847 --> 00:17:49,083 You know what that means. 428 00:17:55,231 --> 00:17:57,620 We're both going to kill you, if that's what you're wondering. 429 00:17:57,694 --> 00:18:00,629 I was, as a matter of fact. 430 00:18:00,703 --> 00:18:01,750 Look, I think we got off 431 00:18:01,822 --> 00:18:02,771 on the wrong foot. 432 00:18:02,846 --> 00:18:04,155 Um... 433 00:18:04,223 --> 00:18:07,605 Sasha, Newfoundland, struggling musician. 434 00:18:07,679 --> 00:18:09,501 Excuse me? 435 00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:10,460 That's my name, 436 00:18:10,526 --> 00:18:11,770 where I'm from, what I do. 437 00:18:11,838 --> 00:18:14,456 Thought I'd save you the time. 438 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:15,868 That's awfully kind of you. 439 00:18:15,934 --> 00:18:19,283 You strike me as a guy who doesn't have time for such trivialities. 440 00:18:19,358 --> 00:18:21,333 Why'd you come over here in the first place? 441 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:23,611 Look, Ijust... 442 00:18:23,679 --> 00:18:27,290 I don't mean to be rude, but I have a girlfriend, so... 443 00:18:36,734 --> 00:18:38,806 See, I knew it. 444 00:18:38,878 --> 00:18:40,853 Look at that shit. 445 00:18:40,926 --> 00:18:45,301 [Perry Como's "Papa Loves Mambo" playing] 446 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:47,283 Ooh 447 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,057 Ooh 448 00:18:52,127 --> 00:18:54,777 Papa loves mambo 449 00:18:54,974 --> 00:18:58,170 Mama loves mambo 450 00:18:58,239 --> 00:19:00,311 Look at them sway with getting so gay with it 451 00:19:00,382 --> 00:19:01,942 Shouting"Ole" with it wow 452 00:19:02,014 --> 00:19:03,029 Ooh 453 00:19:03,103 --> 00:19:04,510 Papa loves mambo 454 00:19:04,574 --> 00:19:05,468 Papa loves mambo 455 00:19:05,823 --> 00:19:07,416 Mama loves mambo 456 00:19:07,743 --> 00:19:09,750 Mama loves mambo 457 00:19:09,823 --> 00:19:12,540 Papa does great with it swings like a gate with it 458 00:19:12,606 --> 00:19:14,842 Evens his weight with it now He goes to 459 00:19:16,191 --> 00:19:17,303 She goes fro 460 00:19:19,102 --> 00:19:20,564 He goes fast 461 00:19:22,622 --> 00:19:24,051 She goes slow 462 00:19:24,126 --> 00:19:26,265 He goes left 463 00:19:26,335 --> 00:19:28,985 She goes right 464 00:19:29,054 --> 00:19:31,193 Papa's looking for mama 465 00:19:31,262 --> 00:19:35,092 But mama is nowhere in sight 466 00:19:35,166 --> 00:19:36,115 Ooh 467 00:19:36,191 --> 00:19:38,646 Papa loves mambo 468 00:19:38,942 --> 00:19:41,495 Mama loves mambo 469 00:19:41,566 --> 00:19:44,283 Having a fling again younger than spring again 470 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,034 Feeling that zing again wow 471 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:48,444 Papa loves mambo 472 00:19:48,510 --> 00:19:49,438 Psst. 473 00:19:50,335 --> 00:19:51,764 Mama loves mambo 474 00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:53,403 Mama loves mambo 475 00:19:53,471 --> 00:19:55,926 Don't play the rumba and don't play the samba 476 00:19:55,999 --> 00:19:57,624 Because papa loves mambo tonight 477 00:19:57,694 --> 00:19:59,003 Ooh 478 00:20:00,638 --> 00:20:02,067 Ooh 479 00:20:05,630 --> 00:20:08,314 Can I offeryou some carrot cake, Emile? 480 00:20:11,007 --> 00:20:12,184 Sugar's forthe weak. 481 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,451 Right on. 482 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:16,728 So, um... 483 00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:19,548 Jerry tells me you were in the Special Forces. 484 00:20:19,614 --> 00:20:21,436 Not since the court martial. 485 00:20:21,502 --> 00:20:24,350 You were court-martialled? 486 00:20:24,414 --> 00:20:25,658 I was told that you had retired. 487 00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:27,581 Yeah, yeah, but it was nothing, really. 488 00:20:27,646 --> 00:20:28,573 I mean... 489 00:20:28,639 --> 00:20:31,356 The general's poodle... 490 00:20:31,423 --> 00:20:33,528 it bit me. 491 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,257 So I killed the bitch... 492 00:20:35,326 --> 00:20:36,952 and ate it. 493 00:20:37,023 --> 00:20:38,452 Oh, okay. 494 00:20:38,526 --> 00:20:41,755 They wanted to lock me away, but your husband, 495 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:44,059 he was my character witness. 496 00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:45,620 He was very good to me. 497 00:20:45,694 --> 00:20:47,320 Yeah, so that's why, you know, 498 00:20:47,391 --> 00:20:49,278 now Emile wants to repay the favour. 499 00:20:49,342 --> 00:20:51,677 So we're going to be his first clients 500 00:20:51,742 --> 00:20:52,690 in his new P.I. Firm. 501 00:20:52,766 --> 00:20:54,140 Right, okay. 502 00:20:54,207 --> 00:20:55,100 This woman... 503 00:20:55,167 --> 00:20:56,857 the one Nick wants to marry, 504 00:20:56,926 --> 00:20:59,228 she's no good? I... 505 00:20:59,294 --> 00:21:00,985 She's a conniving bitch. 506 00:21:01,054 --> 00:21:02,581 Yeah. 507 00:21:02,654 --> 00:21:05,174 And Nick doesn't see it. He's confused, he's young, 508 00:21:05,246 --> 00:21:06,326 and he's horny. 509 00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:07,991 Which is why we think it's better 510 00:21:08,062 --> 00:21:09,785 if he not make it to Toronto. 511 00:21:09,854 --> 00:21:12,505 So maybe he... he loses his money, 512 00:21:12,574 --> 00:21:15,608 or his RV breaks down. Something like that. 513 00:21:15,679 --> 00:21:17,621 We-we've tried everything we can from here, 514 00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:19,450 and now we're counting on you. 515 00:21:19,519 --> 00:21:22,934 I'll find your boy. 516 00:21:23,007 --> 00:21:26,138 I'll skin him and I'll stuff him - forfree. 517 00:21:28,574 --> 00:21:30,101 That was humour. 518 00:21:30,174 --> 00:21:31,123 Yeah. 519 00:21:31,326 --> 00:21:32,406 Yeah. 520 00:21:42,207 --> 00:21:44,541 We're pitched awfully close to their Winnie, 521 00:21:44,606 --> 00:21:45,948 don't you think? I mean... 522 00:21:46,014 --> 00:21:47,388 So let's talk sleeping arrangements, 523 00:21:47,454 --> 00:21:49,494 'cause I think gender separation's a little old-fashioned. 524 00:21:49,566 --> 00:21:50,875 Yeah, sounds outdated to me. 525 00:21:50,942 --> 00:21:53,593 So are yourtactics. 526 00:21:53,662 --> 00:21:55,418 Sorry, boys. 527 00:21:55,486 --> 00:21:57,428 So how many beers we got? 528 00:21:57,502 --> 00:21:58,550 Don't know. Why? 529 00:21:58,622 --> 00:22:01,971 'Cause those girls are gonna need a lot of booze. 530 00:22:02,046 --> 00:22:03,540 I don't know about you guys, 531 00:22:03,614 --> 00:22:06,167 but I'm pitching a tent in my pants right now. 532 00:22:06,238 --> 00:22:07,929 Shut up. 533 00:22:11,838 --> 00:22:13,878 Dude, it's turning black. 534 00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:16,470 Chicks like it black. Haven't I taught you anything? 535 00:22:16,542 --> 00:22:18,964 Dude, they're not going to eat that. 536 00:22:19,039 --> 00:22:20,118 Pull it out. 537 00:22:20,190 --> 00:22:22,808 Hey, Tyler pulls out when he is good and ready. 538 00:22:22,878 --> 00:22:26,075 Chicks respect that, and they always come back for seconds. 539 00:22:26,142 --> 00:22:27,189 Dude, it's on fire. 540 00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:28,724 Just take it out. Dude, let go. 541 00:22:28,799 --> 00:22:30,653 Let go. Dude... Take it out. 542 00:22:30,719 --> 00:22:33,206 Oh, that was smart. 543 00:22:33,278 --> 00:22:36,061 That marshmallow was a fucking masterpiece, you jackass. 544 00:22:36,126 --> 00:22:37,686 Why don't you let Dime cook this one? 545 00:22:37,758 --> 00:22:41,336 Because the fire's too big, too dangerous for Dime. 546 00:22:41,406 --> 00:22:43,773 You guys just sit back, relax, all right? 547 00:22:43,838 --> 00:22:45,780 We'll be tapping that ass in no time. 548 00:22:45,854 --> 00:22:46,748 Oh, my god! 549 00:22:46,814 --> 00:22:47,763 Guys, fire! 550 00:22:47,838 --> 00:22:49,267 Shit! 551 00:22:49,342 --> 00:22:51,677 Jill! My god. It's spreading! 552 00:22:51,742 --> 00:22:54,230 Guys, it's spreading! 553 00:22:54,302 --> 00:22:55,677 Stand back! 554 00:22:55,742 --> 00:23:00,019 Stand back! Stand back! 555 00:23:02,143 --> 00:23:04,215 It's empty. 556 00:23:04,286 --> 00:23:05,595 Dude. 557 00:23:05,662 --> 00:23:07,288 I cannot believe you guys. 558 00:23:18,654 --> 00:23:21,240 Whisky? 559 00:23:21,310 --> 00:23:22,237 I'm driving. 560 00:23:22,303 --> 00:23:24,059 Whisky? 561 00:23:24,126 --> 00:23:25,053 I'm rolling. 562 00:23:25,918 --> 00:23:28,700 Ladies? 563 00:23:28,766 --> 00:23:30,293 Jesus Christ. 564 00:23:30,366 --> 00:23:31,643 I'm sorry. Okay? 565 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:33,597 How many times do you want me to say it? 566 00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:35,767 Here, I'll tell you what. You can spank me. 567 00:23:35,838 --> 00:23:37,245 Go on, I deserve it. 568 00:23:37,311 --> 00:23:39,547 Spank me. 569 00:23:39,614 --> 00:23:41,719 Fine. 570 00:23:41,790 --> 00:23:43,284 Whatever. 571 00:23:43,358 --> 00:23:46,358 I'm going to go outside and get some fresh air. 572 00:23:46,430 --> 00:23:49,594 [Jersey's"What a Wonderful World" plays] 573 00:23:52,638 --> 00:23:55,737 Whoo! Yeah! That is what I'm talking about! 574 00:23:57,950 --> 00:24:00,023 I see trees of green 575 00:24:00,094 --> 00:24:03,226 Red roses too 576 00:24:03,294 --> 00:24:06,261 You like this? Come up here. Come on! 577 00:24:06,334 --> 00:24:07,828 ...From me to you 578 00:24:07,902 --> 00:24:09,974 And think to myself 579 00:24:10,046 --> 00:24:13,494 Yeah! 580 00:24:13,566 --> 00:24:19,546 What a wonderful world 581 00:24:19,614 --> 00:24:21,588 I see skies of blue 582 00:24:21,662 --> 00:24:22,710 Golden! 583 00:24:22,782 --> 00:24:26,263 And clouds of white 584 00:24:26,334 --> 00:24:30,425 Bright blessed day and the dark sacred night 585 00:24:30,494 --> 00:24:33,756 And I think to myself 586 00:24:33,822 --> 00:24:38,426 What a wonderful world 587 00:24:38,494 --> 00:24:40,317 588 00:24:40,382 --> 00:24:41,942 Thanks. 589 00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:44,986 You're welcome. 590 00:24:45,054 --> 00:24:47,575 591 00:24:47,646 --> 00:24:48,856 Tyler! 592 00:24:48,926 --> 00:24:49,941 What's up? 593 00:24:50,014 --> 00:24:51,443 Cops! Fuck. 594 00:24:51,518 --> 00:24:52,947 Whoa, uh... 595 00:24:53,022 --> 00:24:53,916 Tyler! 596 00:24:53,982 --> 00:24:57,844 What a wonderful world 597 00:24:57,918 --> 00:25:02,937 World 598 00:25:08,638 --> 00:25:09,914 Shit! 599 00:25:09,982 --> 00:25:12,087 Relax. It's probably just a ticket. 600 00:25:12,158 --> 00:25:14,940 We can't afford a ticket, Tyler. We can barely afford gas to Ontario. 601 00:25:15,006 --> 00:25:16,151 Uh, Sasha, 602 00:25:16,222 --> 00:25:17,629 hide the weed underneath there. 603 00:25:17,694 --> 00:25:18,622 Cops'll look there. 604 00:25:18,686 --> 00:25:20,595 Betterthan the dashboard! 605 00:25:20,670 --> 00:25:22,328 No, wait! 606 00:25:22,398 --> 00:25:23,675 Holy shit. 607 00:25:23,742 --> 00:25:25,368 What the hell? Dime! 608 00:25:25,438 --> 00:25:26,780 It's just a few supplies, you know, 609 00:25:26,846 --> 00:25:27,740 in case something happens. 610 00:25:27,806 --> 00:25:30,654 Like what? A nuclear winter? 611 00:25:31,966 --> 00:25:33,526 Oh, shit. 612 00:25:36,990 --> 00:25:38,997 Good morning, fun boys and girls. 613 00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:41,339 I want you to step out of the mobile home 614 00:25:41,406 --> 00:25:44,701 and keep your hands where I can see them, please. 615 00:25:44,766 --> 00:25:47,155 Article C-17, 616 00:25:47,230 --> 00:25:50,546 surfing on the roof of a moving vehicle, 617 00:25:50,622 --> 00:25:52,051 $200 fine. 618 00:25:52,126 --> 00:25:55,508 Vandalism, Article B-35, $300 fine. 619 00:25:55,582 --> 00:25:56,509 But this is my van. 620 00:25:56,574 --> 00:25:58,003 Resisting arrest, 621 00:25:58,078 --> 00:26:00,534 $500 fine and six months in jail. 622 00:26:00,606 --> 00:26:03,126 Do you mind if I search your vehicle? 623 00:26:03,198 --> 00:26:06,165 You can say no, Nick, 'cause he needs a warrant. 624 00:26:06,238 --> 00:26:09,304 Warrant. 625 00:26:11,390 --> 00:26:14,139 Don't push it, Carbo. 626 00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:16,824 I'll ask again. May I search your vehicle? 627 00:26:16,894 --> 00:26:19,033 Fine, just let go of his arm. 628 00:26:20,830 --> 00:26:22,488 Jesus. 629 00:26:26,206 --> 00:26:28,508 This sucks. 630 00:26:32,414 --> 00:26:35,513 Open alcohol in a vehicle... $350 fine. 631 00:26:35,582 --> 00:26:36,989 Heh-heh. 632 00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:38,810 If he finds my stash, we're screwed. 633 00:26:38,878 --> 00:26:41,299 Relax. He's not going to find it. 634 00:26:41,374 --> 00:26:42,803 Oh! 635 00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:45,752 Shit. Oh, man. 636 00:26:45,822 --> 00:26:48,670 That's a lot of weed. 637 00:26:48,734 --> 00:26:50,327 So what's the fine forthat? 638 00:26:50,398 --> 00:26:52,187 Two pounds of illegal narcotics? 639 00:26:52,254 --> 00:26:53,530 Yeah. 640 00:26:53,598 --> 00:26:55,322 That's not a fine, hamster. That's a bribe. 641 00:26:55,390 --> 00:26:58,521 Okay, fine. How much? 642 00:26:58,590 --> 00:27:00,216 How much you got? 643 00:27:00,286 --> 00:27:01,562 You're robbing us? 644 00:27:01,630 --> 00:27:03,191 It's called extortion, sweet cheeks. 645 00:27:03,262 --> 00:27:05,116 Now, you want to go to prison or not? 646 00:27:05,182 --> 00:27:06,556 Come on, guys, fork it up. 647 00:27:06,622 --> 00:27:10,135 Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. 648 00:27:10,206 --> 00:27:11,580 No, please! You want to go through that again? 649 00:27:12,862 --> 00:27:14,171 It's your own damn fault. 650 00:27:14,238 --> 00:27:17,304 You don't have to dump it all! Just have a bit of compassion, Nick. 651 00:27:17,374 --> 00:27:18,551 No. He's a bad man... 652 00:27:18,621 --> 00:27:21,207 Shh. It'll all be over soon. 653 00:27:25,886 --> 00:27:28,253 654 00:27:30,654 --> 00:27:31,581 Guys? 655 00:27:35,998 --> 00:27:39,446 656 00:27:53,118 --> 00:27:56,152 Shit, dude! How about a little privacy? 657 00:27:56,222 --> 00:27:58,327 I'm sorry, uh, Ijust... 658 00:27:58,398 --> 00:28:00,088 I thought, um... 659 00:28:00,158 --> 00:28:02,492 I thought you were something else. 660 00:28:02,558 --> 00:28:04,085 661 00:28:04,158 --> 00:28:05,848 Oh, shit! Run! 662 00:28:05,918 --> 00:28:07,608 Get out of my way! 663 00:28:07,678 --> 00:28:10,712 Right, Furtado's in. So is Avril. 664 00:28:10,782 --> 00:28:12,756 I'm still waiting to hearfrom Shania, 665 00:28:12,830 --> 00:28:14,324 so keep a dressing room open. 666 00:28:14,398 --> 00:28:17,016 Hopefully one... close to my office. 667 00:28:17,086 --> 00:28:19,224 Here's your double-shot latte, extra foam. 668 00:28:19,294 --> 00:28:20,374 Oh, thanks, sweets. 669 00:28:20,446 --> 00:28:21,755 Sir, with all due respect, 670 00:28:21,822 --> 00:28:23,830 I hardly think that behaviour is appropriate. 671 00:28:23,901 --> 00:28:26,869 Especially in a work environment. 672 00:28:26,942 --> 00:28:30,619 You know, you're absolutely right. 673 00:28:30,686 --> 00:28:34,908 Trish, please accept my humblest apologies. 674 00:28:34,974 --> 00:28:37,395 It'll never happen again. 675 00:28:37,470 --> 00:28:40,437 Judy, would you excuse us for a moment? 676 00:28:40,510 --> 00:28:41,437 Sure. 677 00:28:46,910 --> 00:28:48,120 I thought she would never leave. 678 00:28:48,190 --> 00:28:51,190 She'll be cleaning out her desk by the end of the day. 679 00:28:51,262 --> 00:28:53,531 In the meantime, 680 00:28:53,598 --> 00:28:54,972 how about a little... 681 00:28:55,038 --> 00:28:56,412 ass with that coffee? 682 00:28:56,478 --> 00:28:58,005 Mm. 683 00:28:58,078 --> 00:29:00,282 You are so talented. 684 00:29:00,350 --> 00:29:01,724 Oh yeah. 685 00:29:01,790 --> 00:29:04,757 Nick... 686 00:29:04,829 --> 00:29:05,757 Nick! 687 00:29:05,822 --> 00:29:08,091 Hey, Nick. Wake up, buddy. 688 00:29:08,158 --> 00:29:11,387 Tyler's a hero. He saved you from a bear. 689 00:29:11,454 --> 00:29:13,461 Shut up, Dime. Here. 690 00:29:13,534 --> 00:29:15,476 I got some painkillers. 691 00:29:15,550 --> 00:29:16,979 Give me three. 692 00:29:17,053 --> 00:29:19,225 Easy there, junkie. 693 00:29:19,294 --> 00:29:22,839 And this is a guy who calls caffeine a narcotic. 694 00:29:25,278 --> 00:29:29,206 Are you sure you're okay? 695 00:29:29,278 --> 00:29:30,139 I'll be fine. 696 00:29:30,206 --> 00:29:32,540 Ljust need to walk it off. 697 00:29:32,606 --> 00:29:33,686 Thanks, dude. 698 00:29:33,758 --> 00:29:37,719 Whoa, hey, Tyler, Where'd you get these? 699 00:29:37,790 --> 00:29:38,738 Your bag. 700 00:29:38,814 --> 00:29:40,058 In the small pouch in my bag? 701 00:29:40,126 --> 00:29:42,843 Yeah. 702 00:29:42,910 --> 00:29:44,819 Dime, what did Nick just take? 703 00:29:44,893 --> 00:29:47,130 Three hits of concentrated fungal toxin. 704 00:29:47,198 --> 00:29:48,245 Mushrooms. 705 00:29:48,318 --> 00:29:50,009 Sort of, but way stronger. 706 00:29:50,078 --> 00:29:54,518 Like half a tab, normally, and you are fucking zooming. 707 00:29:54,590 --> 00:29:56,019 So what's going to happen to him? 708 00:29:56,094 --> 00:29:58,680 Well, he's not going to have a headache. 709 00:30:00,253 --> 00:30:01,780 710 00:30:04,830 --> 00:30:06,553 Whoo! 711 00:30:06,621 --> 00:30:08,694 How could you do this to him? 712 00:30:08,766 --> 00:30:11,515 I didn't do anything. This is Tyler's fault. 713 00:30:11,581 --> 00:30:14,003 Okay, just relax. Okay? We'll just get him into the van. 714 00:30:14,078 --> 00:30:15,256 Oh... 715 00:30:15,326 --> 00:30:17,813 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... 716 00:30:26,077 --> 00:30:29,045 717 00:30:30,973 --> 00:30:32,315 Oh, this is beautiful, man. 718 00:30:32,382 --> 00:30:35,065 I'm going to build a home right here. 719 00:30:36,446 --> 00:30:38,966 That's great. Let's get you back into the van... 720 00:30:39,038 --> 00:30:41,623 Don't touch me! No, I'm not leaving, man. 721 00:30:41,693 --> 00:30:43,581 I told you, I'm building a house right here. 722 00:30:43,646 --> 00:30:44,540 Nick? Nick. 723 00:30:44,606 --> 00:30:46,810 Trish... 724 00:30:47,038 --> 00:30:48,183 Trish. 725 00:30:52,542 --> 00:30:54,844 This is life. 726 00:30:54,910 --> 00:30:56,797 Smell it. It smells like life. 727 00:30:58,365 --> 00:30:59,380 Who's Trish? 728 00:30:59,454 --> 00:31:02,716 Mushies talking. It's... 729 00:31:06,014 --> 00:31:08,086 Oh, you hearthem too. 730 00:31:08,158 --> 00:31:10,362 Oh, I love you, Tyler. 731 00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:15,859 Oh, god. 732 00:31:19,454 --> 00:31:22,454 Oh, my god. 733 00:31:22,526 --> 00:31:24,533 The yellow cows are coming! 734 00:31:24,606 --> 00:31:25,947 735 00:31:27,454 --> 00:31:29,821 Yeah! Yeah! 736 00:31:29,885 --> 00:31:31,129 I say we knock him out. 737 00:31:31,198 --> 00:31:33,271 I say we call it a night and camp out here. 738 00:31:33,342 --> 00:31:34,585 Oh, my god. 739 00:31:37,406 --> 00:31:38,868 Whoo! 740 00:31:44,382 --> 00:31:46,586 He's alive! 741 00:31:46,654 --> 00:31:47,548 Yay! 742 00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:48,694 Oh, he's alive! 743 00:31:48,766 --> 00:31:50,522 You made it. 744 00:31:50,590 --> 00:31:53,852 So how is our little tugboat this morning? 745 00:31:53,918 --> 00:31:55,641 Tugboat? What are you talking about? 746 00:31:55,709 --> 00:31:57,138 Let's just say yourtypically... 747 00:31:57,214 --> 00:31:59,548 private time with kleenex and a little lube... 748 00:31:59,614 --> 00:32:01,686 It kind of became a public event. 749 00:32:01,758 --> 00:32:03,830 Wankapalooza, you know? We could've sold tickets. 750 00:32:03,901 --> 00:32:05,756 You're joking me. Dude, you were like a chimp. 751 00:32:05,821 --> 00:32:07,130 Okay? 752 00:32:07,198 --> 00:32:09,467 You were begging us to join you. 753 00:32:09,534 --> 00:32:12,501 You know, some things are just a little sacred. 754 00:32:16,221 --> 00:32:17,814 Okay, everyone, I'll be in the lake. 755 00:32:17,885 --> 00:32:18,779 Yeah, so will I. 756 00:32:18,845 --> 00:32:21,179 That is a good idea. I'm going to grab my towel. 757 00:32:21,246 --> 00:32:23,417 No, no, no, no, no. You're not going anywhere. 758 00:32:23,486 --> 00:32:25,112 Sasha, we're dipping in shifts. 759 00:32:25,182 --> 00:32:26,458 Sorry, boys. 760 00:32:26,525 --> 00:32:28,151 I'll keep an eye on the pervs. 761 00:32:28,222 --> 00:32:29,782 What a prude. 762 00:32:29,854 --> 00:32:31,709 Bye, boys. 763 00:32:31,774 --> 00:32:34,196 Come on, Dime. Let's go inside and root through their panties. 764 00:32:37,693 --> 00:32:39,286 Nick, you're, uh... 765 00:32:39,358 --> 00:32:42,325 You're sweeping the forest. 766 00:32:42,397 --> 00:32:44,502 You sure you're still not tripping out? A little zoom-zoom? 767 00:32:44,573 --> 00:32:46,362 You guys are messing with me, right? 768 00:32:46,430 --> 00:32:48,219 I got to tell you, 769 00:32:48,286 --> 00:32:51,133 that little tribal thing you were doing last night, 770 00:32:51,197 --> 00:32:54,907 it was pretty impressive. 771 00:32:56,957 --> 00:32:58,201 Help me with this? 772 00:32:58,269 --> 00:33:00,473 Whoa. Tribal thing? 773 00:33:00,541 --> 00:33:02,646 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean? 774 00:33:12,958 --> 00:33:14,900 Oh, man, Nick's going to kill us. 775 00:33:14,974 --> 00:33:17,559 Not when he sees these pictures. 776 00:33:20,638 --> 00:33:22,012 We're going to hell. 777 00:33:22,078 --> 00:33:24,630 Okay, let's face this, pal. 778 00:33:24,701 --> 00:33:26,611 You're not going to get in Jill's pants. 779 00:33:26,686 --> 00:33:27,863 This is the next best thing. 780 00:33:27,933 --> 00:33:29,111 All right? Look around. 781 00:33:29,181 --> 00:33:32,978 Trees, lake, tits and ass. This is a Kodak moment. 782 00:33:41,309 --> 00:33:42,553 What? 783 00:33:44,285 --> 00:33:45,430 What? 784 00:33:45,501 --> 00:33:48,251 Nothing. 785 00:33:48,318 --> 00:33:51,962 Uh, I'm going to go check on the kids. 786 00:33:56,798 --> 00:33:58,521 Guys? 787 00:33:58,589 --> 00:33:59,483 Oh, god. 788 00:33:59,549 --> 00:34:02,932 I hope Jill's wearing her swimsuit. 789 00:34:03,006 --> 00:34:04,315 What the hell? 790 00:34:05,565 --> 00:34:06,580 Nick? 791 00:34:06,654 --> 00:34:09,752 Hey, what the fuck are you doing? 792 00:34:09,821 --> 00:34:10,934 Sasha, it's that cop! 793 00:34:11,006 --> 00:34:12,348 He's putting sugar in our gas tank. 794 00:34:16,958 --> 00:34:18,419 Okay, I can't see shit. 795 00:34:18,493 --> 00:34:20,020 This angle sucks. Here. 796 00:34:33,149 --> 00:34:34,709 Anything? 797 00:34:34,781 --> 00:34:36,821 Lookee here. 798 00:34:36,893 --> 00:34:39,675 Okay. Grab onto this branch and reach out. 799 00:34:40,925 --> 00:34:42,419 You grab onto the branch. 800 00:34:42,493 --> 00:34:43,606 I eat, Dime. I exercise. 801 00:34:43,677 --> 00:34:47,539 This branch is not going to hold me, all right? 802 00:34:47,613 --> 00:34:50,745 All you do is smoke weed and masturbate. 803 00:34:50,814 --> 00:34:52,243 Grab onto the branch. 804 00:34:55,229 --> 00:34:57,302 "All you do is smoke weed and masturbate, Dime. 805 00:34:57,373 --> 00:35:00,472 I wear a cowboy hat. I'm a big dick." 806 00:35:07,453 --> 00:35:08,631 It's locked. 807 00:35:08,702 --> 00:35:10,131 Get out of the way. 808 00:35:10,205 --> 00:35:12,147 Jesus, Sasha, you can't do that. 809 00:35:12,221 --> 00:35:16,313 Easy, law boy, I'm a musician. I'll do what I want, okay? 810 00:35:25,182 --> 00:35:26,970 I knew it. It's a fake. 811 00:35:27,038 --> 00:35:28,892 Son of a bitch... 812 00:35:28,958 --> 00:35:30,845 What's he want with us? 813 00:35:30,909 --> 00:35:32,502 I don't know. 814 00:35:35,645 --> 00:35:37,336 All right. 815 00:35:37,406 --> 00:35:38,715 Okay, now reach out. 816 00:35:38,781 --> 00:35:40,374 I'm just... hold it steady. 817 00:35:40,445 --> 00:35:41,372 Reach out. 818 00:35:42,781 --> 00:35:44,243 819 00:35:44,318 --> 00:35:45,878 Oh, shit. What... what do I do? 820 00:35:45,950 --> 00:35:46,877 Answer it. 821 00:35:46,941 --> 00:35:47,835 Hello? 822 00:35:47,901 --> 00:35:49,047 823 00:35:51,325 --> 00:35:53,049 Oh, my god! 824 00:35:53,118 --> 00:35:55,736 Dime! Dime! 825 00:35:55,805 --> 00:35:56,699 Dime. 826 00:35:56,765 --> 00:35:57,713 Dime, are you okay? 827 00:35:57,789 --> 00:35:59,382 Oh... 828 00:35:59,453 --> 00:36:01,908 Dime, talk to me. Dime... 829 00:36:01,981 --> 00:36:03,323 Hey! 830 00:36:05,981 --> 00:36:06,909 Was it worth it? 831 00:36:06,973 --> 00:36:08,380 Definitely. 832 00:36:16,254 --> 00:36:19,036 833 00:36:19,101 --> 00:36:23,607 20 bucks? Your mom will do it for 15, asshole. 834 00:36:25,277 --> 00:36:27,514 835 00:36:27,582 --> 00:36:29,851 What's the matter, officer? 836 00:36:29,917 --> 00:36:31,575 Better call for backup, asshole! 837 00:36:33,565 --> 00:36:34,972 838 00:36:39,773 --> 00:36:41,595 839 00:36:52,669 --> 00:36:55,320 Well, well, well. 840 00:36:55,389 --> 00:36:57,844 You came to play, boy. 841 00:36:59,645 --> 00:37:01,784 842 00:37:01,821 --> 00:37:05,651 Well, we're looking at $7.00 and change. 843 00:37:05,726 --> 00:37:08,726 Yeah, and that's not going to buy us very much. 844 00:37:10,526 --> 00:37:11,419 Give me the cash. 845 00:37:11,486 --> 00:37:15,031 Tyler's going to make it all better. 846 00:37:26,205 --> 00:37:27,928 Come on, folks! It's for charity. 847 00:37:27,997 --> 00:37:29,852 You know you want to. 848 00:37:29,917 --> 00:37:32,154 I'm the Deputy Mayor of Moose Jaw, for Christ's sakes. 849 00:37:32,221 --> 00:37:34,360 Come on, pitch a ball. Put me in. 850 00:37:34,430 --> 00:37:35,837 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 851 00:37:35,901 --> 00:37:37,843 Definitely. 852 00:37:37,918 --> 00:37:39,990 What are you thinking? 853 00:37:41,661 --> 00:37:43,668 You know, Ijust... I love carnivals. 854 00:37:43,741 --> 00:37:45,018 When... when I was a kid, 855 00:37:45,086 --> 00:37:48,282 I'd beg my brothers to take me. 856 00:37:48,349 --> 00:37:49,560 See those balloons? 857 00:37:49,630 --> 00:37:52,499 They would tie as many as they could 858 00:37:52,573 --> 00:37:54,645 to the back of my pants 859 00:37:54,717 --> 00:37:56,278 to see if I'd have liftoff. 860 00:37:56,350 --> 00:37:58,902 Did it work? 861 00:37:58,973 --> 00:38:02,716 They eventually found me in a tree. 862 00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:04,723 At least you had carnivals. 863 00:38:04,798 --> 00:38:05,975 In Tofino, a big crazy night 864 00:38:06,045 --> 00:38:09,428 would be playing bingo at the rec centre. 865 00:38:09,501 --> 00:38:10,483 I like bingo. 866 00:38:10,558 --> 00:38:12,827 Yeah, I know. So do I. 867 00:38:12,893 --> 00:38:15,675 You know, being in a small town, it's cool, but you... 868 00:38:15,741 --> 00:38:17,596 You just eventually... 869 00:38:17,661 --> 00:38:20,116 You want more. 870 00:38:20,189 --> 00:38:22,229 Yeah. 871 00:38:22,621 --> 00:38:25,338 Yeah. 872 00:38:25,406 --> 00:38:27,577 Hey, buddy. How much forthose balloons? 873 00:38:27,645 --> 00:38:29,205 Nick, don't even think about it. 874 00:38:30,301 --> 00:38:32,211 Fuck me! 875 00:38:32,285 --> 00:38:34,773 I'm getting better. 876 00:38:34,845 --> 00:38:37,049 Your mama didn't raise no quitter. I respect that. 877 00:38:37,117 --> 00:38:38,426 Save it, carny. I'm out of cash. 878 00:38:38,494 --> 00:38:40,403 Hey, dude, dude, dude. 879 00:38:42,238 --> 00:38:43,448 If it's money that troubles you, 880 00:38:43,517 --> 00:38:46,583 I got a way you can pocket some coin real quick. 881 00:38:46,653 --> 00:38:48,060 I'm listening. 882 00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:49,205 Come on... lover! 883 00:38:49,277 --> 00:38:51,960 Is that the best you can do with those balls, man? 884 00:38:52,029 --> 00:38:53,655 I'm not even wet here. 885 00:38:53,725 --> 00:38:55,994 Come on, anybody else here. 886 00:38:56,061 --> 00:38:57,141 Psych! 887 00:38:57,213 --> 00:38:58,642 Oh, come on. You're running out of balls. 888 00:38:58,717 --> 00:39:00,505 What's up? 889 00:39:00,574 --> 00:39:02,396 I'm getting tired here. I don't have all day. 890 00:39:03,997 --> 00:39:05,972 Oh, wow. 891 00:39:06,045 --> 00:39:07,125 Whoa. 892 00:39:07,198 --> 00:39:08,343 That was good. 893 00:39:21,885 --> 00:39:22,900 What does this pay again? 894 00:39:22,973 --> 00:39:23,867 Two dollars... 895 00:39:23,933 --> 00:39:25,013 a minute. 896 00:39:25,085 --> 00:39:26,994 To act like a bunny. You're shitting me. 897 00:39:28,477 --> 00:39:30,965 What exactly do you need me to do? Uh, you'll figure it out. 898 00:39:31,037 --> 00:39:33,045 And you might want to put these on. 899 00:39:34,749 --> 00:39:36,854 Okay... 900 00:39:40,637 --> 00:39:41,565 Hop to it. 901 00:39:44,701 --> 00:39:46,392 Looking good. 902 00:39:57,470 --> 00:40:00,088 Hello? 903 00:40:00,157 --> 00:40:02,197 What's up, doc? 904 00:40:04,093 --> 00:40:05,041 905 00:40:10,621 --> 00:40:11,548 Stop that! 906 00:40:13,341 --> 00:40:16,156 Stop shooting me! 907 00:40:21,597 --> 00:40:23,702 The pussy's down. Go forthe face. 908 00:40:23,773 --> 00:40:26,042 Forget the face. Go forthe balls. 909 00:40:27,677 --> 00:40:30,230 Honey, any time now. Can somebody... 910 00:40:32,413 --> 00:40:33,526 All right, gentlemen, show's over. 911 00:40:33,598 --> 00:40:35,452 Go home to your wives orthe Internet, 912 00:40:35,518 --> 00:40:36,859 or whereveryou get your weird, sick, 913 00:40:36,925 --> 00:40:38,900 perverted kicks from. 914 00:40:38,973 --> 00:40:40,696 Oh, you were great. Thanks. 915 00:40:40,765 --> 00:40:42,521 What are you guys doing? 916 00:40:42,590 --> 00:40:44,826 At this rate, about 75 bucks an hour. 917 00:40:44,893 --> 00:40:45,875 918 00:40:45,949 --> 00:40:47,640 Excellent. All right. 919 00:40:47,709 --> 00:40:49,531 Guys, where's, uh, where's Tyler? 920 00:40:49,597 --> 00:40:52,914 Where you going? Get back here! 921 00:40:52,989 --> 00:40:53,971 922 00:40:54,045 --> 00:40:57,842 How does this feel? 923 00:40:59,773 --> 00:41:01,944 Now who's the little pussies? Huh? 924 00:41:02,013 --> 00:41:04,730 Yeah! Take that! 925 00:41:04,797 --> 00:41:06,619 Look at you! 926 00:41:06,685 --> 00:41:08,278 What? 927 00:41:08,349 --> 00:41:09,756 928 00:41:09,821 --> 00:41:11,676 Shut up. 929 00:41:20,221 --> 00:41:21,628 930 00:41:21,693 --> 00:41:24,344 What's that noise? You guys hearthat? 931 00:41:26,398 --> 00:41:28,307 Hey guys, what's this for? 932 00:41:28,381 --> 00:41:29,275 It's a... 933 00:41:29,341 --> 00:41:31,163 detour. 934 00:41:50,749 --> 00:41:53,051 Buckle up, suckers. 935 00:41:53,117 --> 00:41:55,834 Oh, yeah, this... this way seems much better. 936 00:41:58,301 --> 00:42:00,570 There's shit falling down and stuff. 937 00:42:00,637 --> 00:42:01,946 If the RV's a-rocking, 938 00:42:02,013 --> 00:42:03,672 don't come a-knocking! 939 00:42:03,741 --> 00:42:04,886 940 00:42:11,293 --> 00:42:13,180 This piece of shit's falling apart. 941 00:42:13,245 --> 00:42:15,612 You should've bought Japanese. 942 00:42:25,085 --> 00:42:26,100 Shit. 943 00:42:26,173 --> 00:42:28,660 We got to get off these freaking tracks, okay? 944 00:42:42,237 --> 00:42:43,699 945 00:42:43,773 --> 00:42:45,912 Oh, my god. Oh, my god. 946 00:42:52,925 --> 00:42:53,819 Nick, hurry up! 947 00:42:53,885 --> 00:42:54,812 Hurry, hurry, hurry. 948 00:42:54,877 --> 00:42:56,251 Nick, get... 949 00:42:56,317 --> 00:42:58,008 Oh, my god... I'm trying! 950 00:43:00,381 --> 00:43:01,907 Oh, shit. 951 00:43:03,037 --> 00:43:04,182 Shit. We're stuck! 952 00:43:04,253 --> 00:43:06,009 Oh, shit. 953 00:43:06,077 --> 00:43:08,314 Get out of there! 954 00:43:11,325 --> 00:43:12,918 Everybody, out! Get out! 955 00:43:16,541 --> 00:43:18,614 For god's sake, what are you doing? Get out! 956 00:43:18,685 --> 00:43:19,830 My guitar! 957 00:43:36,604 --> 00:43:40,249 Oh, no. 958 00:43:40,317 --> 00:43:41,332 Oh. 959 00:43:45,501 --> 00:43:46,744 My surfboard. 960 00:43:46,812 --> 00:43:47,740 My Gibson. 961 00:43:47,805 --> 00:43:48,699 My home. 962 00:43:48,765 --> 00:43:51,580 Is everyone okay? 963 00:43:51,645 --> 00:43:53,205 Maybe we should, uh... 964 00:43:53,277 --> 00:43:54,706 go talk to somebody or something? 965 00:43:54,781 --> 00:43:56,985 We'll be stuck filling out reports for a week. 966 00:43:57,053 --> 00:43:58,330 Let's split. 967 00:43:58,397 --> 00:44:01,212 Are we going to Toronto or not? 968 00:44:01,277 --> 00:44:02,225 Yeah, let's... 969 00:44:02,301 --> 00:44:04,156 let's get out of here, guys. Come on. 970 00:44:04,221 --> 00:44:05,497 Come on, Sash. 971 00:44:05,565 --> 00:44:06,710 Coming. 972 00:44:06,781 --> 00:44:08,886 Hurry up. Come on. 973 00:44:18,140 --> 00:44:19,417 It's not bad. 974 00:44:19,485 --> 00:44:20,379 It tastes like Prairie girls. 975 00:44:20,445 --> 00:44:24,089 You don't know what Prairie girls taste like. 976 00:44:24,157 --> 00:44:25,433 It could use a little salt. 977 00:44:25,501 --> 00:44:27,159 Butter. 978 00:44:27,229 --> 00:44:30,295 I'm sure the farmer's got some. Do you think he'd mind? 979 00:44:33,213 --> 00:44:35,930 Thou shalt not steal. 980 00:44:35,997 --> 00:44:37,426 Wait, wait. Um, listen, we're sorry. 981 00:44:37,501 --> 00:44:40,250 We're just a couple of kids on our way to Toronto. 982 00:44:40,317 --> 00:44:41,844 You with the Callahan boys? 983 00:44:41,917 --> 00:44:43,772 Spreading gypsy moths... 984 00:44:43,837 --> 00:44:45,211 killing my crops. 985 00:44:45,277 --> 00:44:48,276 No, sir. No gypsy moths here, sir. 986 00:44:48,349 --> 00:44:50,204 No, listen, we're just passing through. 987 00:44:50,269 --> 00:44:51,513 Our Winnebago got hit by a train. 988 00:44:51,581 --> 00:44:53,370 We have no stuff... 989 00:44:53,437 --> 00:44:55,259 That was you? Why... 990 00:44:55,324 --> 00:44:58,423 caught wind of that on the old transistor. 991 00:44:58,493 --> 00:45:02,966 It's a miracle you kids are alive. 992 00:45:03,037 --> 00:45:07,193 Shucks, this here's a test. 993 00:45:07,261 --> 00:45:09,300 The Lord brought you here, 994 00:45:09,372 --> 00:45:11,347 and now... 995 00:45:11,421 --> 00:45:13,788 I am your shepherd. 996 00:45:16,125 --> 00:45:17,685 So how about a home-cooked meal 997 00:45:17,757 --> 00:45:19,546 and a warm place to sleep? 998 00:45:19,613 --> 00:45:20,823 Sounds great. 999 00:45:20,892 --> 00:45:22,965 You'll be bunkin' in with the cows tonight. 1000 00:45:23,037 --> 00:45:24,892 I hope you're not lactose intolerant. 1001 00:45:24,957 --> 00:45:26,134 All I ask 1002 00:45:26,205 --> 00:45:30,001 is that no one taint the purity of my virgin daughter. 1003 00:45:30,077 --> 00:45:32,499 Oh, yeah. I get it. It's like the old farmer's joke. 1004 00:45:32,573 --> 00:45:34,329 You know, "You can sleep in my barn, 1005 00:45:34,397 --> 00:45:35,923 but don't you dare touch 1006 00:45:35,997 --> 00:45:39,063 my gorgeous, cock-hungry teenage girl." 1007 00:45:39,132 --> 00:45:40,955 It's no joke, son. 1008 00:45:41,021 --> 00:45:44,698 In fact, in my house, it's the 11th commandment. 1009 00:45:44,765 --> 00:45:49,434 Thou shalt not lie... with thy farmer's offspring. 1010 00:45:49,501 --> 00:45:50,842 1011 00:45:50,908 --> 00:45:52,086 Unless thou wish the wrath 1012 00:45:52,157 --> 00:45:55,867 of thy farmer's boom-stick. 1013 00:45:55,933 --> 00:45:56,947 Got it? 1014 00:45:57,020 --> 00:45:59,028 Yes, sir. 1015 00:46:00,925 --> 00:46:03,707 Who's hungry? 1016 00:46:03,773 --> 00:46:07,188 Onward christian soldiers 1017 00:46:07,261 --> 00:46:11,604 Marching as to war 1018 00:46:13,149 --> 00:46:15,123 Oh, a train accident. 1019 00:46:15,164 --> 00:46:16,855 You poor souls. 1020 00:46:16,924 --> 00:46:19,128 Praise the Lord you're all okay. 1021 00:46:19,197 --> 00:46:22,045 Everything looks wonderful, Mrs... 1022 00:46:22,109 --> 00:46:25,458 My name's Libby, and this is Joseph. 1023 00:46:25,533 --> 00:46:26,547 How do? 1024 00:46:26,621 --> 00:46:28,955 And Josephine will be down in a moment. 1025 00:46:29,021 --> 00:46:31,639 Josephine! 1026 00:46:31,709 --> 00:46:33,367 Hey, dude. 1027 00:46:33,437 --> 00:46:36,284 How hot do you think this girl is? Dude, you're kidding me. 1028 00:46:36,349 --> 00:46:38,421 These people are hideous. She probably has no teeth. 1029 00:46:50,365 --> 00:46:51,772 Ah, Josephine. 1030 00:46:51,837 --> 00:46:54,871 You finally decided to join us? 1031 00:46:57,052 --> 00:46:58,165 Hi. 1032 00:46:58,237 --> 00:47:00,757 God help us. 1033 00:47:00,829 --> 00:47:02,039 Oh, hi, sweetie. 1034 00:47:02,109 --> 00:47:03,996 You're just in time. 1035 00:47:04,061 --> 00:47:07,225 Oh, have you met the boys? 1036 00:47:08,828 --> 00:47:09,722 Hi. 1037 00:47:09,788 --> 00:47:10,737 Hi. Hi. 1038 00:47:15,965 --> 00:47:17,590 So, young man, 1039 00:47:17,660 --> 00:47:19,351 you mentioned you had a... 1040 00:47:19,421 --> 00:47:22,618 a joke back there in the cornfield, huh? 1041 00:47:22,685 --> 00:47:25,270 Uh, yeah. It's a doozy. 1042 00:47:27,101 --> 00:47:29,589 1043 00:47:31,645 --> 00:47:34,809 Will you please excuse me? I'm not feeling very well. 1044 00:47:40,317 --> 00:47:44,627 Oh, dear, she does this every time we have guests. 1045 00:47:44,700 --> 00:47:48,475 Poor girl's just so darn shy. 1046 00:47:48,540 --> 00:47:50,875 So, you there. 1047 00:47:50,941 --> 00:47:52,119 Yeah, you. 1048 00:47:52,189 --> 00:47:53,596 Make us laugh. 1049 00:47:53,661 --> 00:47:55,897 Uh, yeah, the, uh... 1050 00:47:55,964 --> 00:47:59,412 farmer's-daughter gag. Um, sure, what the hell? 1051 00:47:59,485 --> 00:48:01,852 Tyler, I don't think it's a good idea. 1052 00:48:01,917 --> 00:48:03,062 So there's these three guys 1053 00:48:03,132 --> 00:48:04,539 that bagged the farmer's daughter. 1054 00:48:04,604 --> 00:48:06,492 Oh. 1055 00:48:06,557 --> 00:48:08,728 Of course, uh, the old man finds out, 1056 00:48:08,796 --> 00:48:10,323 and goes and grabs a shotgun 1057 00:48:10,397 --> 00:48:11,859 much like yours... 1058 00:48:11,932 --> 00:48:15,228 You know, Tyler, maybe you shouldn't. 1059 00:48:15,293 --> 00:48:16,820 Uh, so he explains their punishment to them, 1060 00:48:16,893 --> 00:48:18,747 that they have to go to the orchard 1061 00:48:18,813 --> 00:48:21,365 and find theirfavourite fruit. 1062 00:48:21,436 --> 00:48:23,062 And anyhow, the guys think they get off easy, 1063 00:48:23,133 --> 00:48:25,555 so they go and get theirfruit of choice... 1064 00:48:25,628 --> 00:48:26,708 Oh, oh, god. 1065 00:48:26,780 --> 00:48:28,951 You okay? Uh, yeah. 1066 00:48:29,021 --> 00:48:30,395 Do you hearthat, Joseph? 1067 00:48:30,461 --> 00:48:32,152 This darling young man 1068 00:48:32,221 --> 00:48:35,352 has volunteered to say grace. 1069 00:48:35,420 --> 00:48:37,111 Go ahead, son. 1070 00:48:37,181 --> 00:48:40,214 Uh... uh... 1071 00:48:40,284 --> 00:48:41,462 Uh, dear Lord... 1072 00:48:41,532 --> 00:48:46,071 thank you for giving us such a... 1073 00:48:46,140 --> 00:48:49,042 succulent meal, 1074 00:48:49,116 --> 00:48:50,905 and bless us, 1075 00:48:50,973 --> 00:48:52,380 and please forgive us 1076 00:48:52,444 --> 00:48:54,070 for anything that we've done 1077 00:48:54,141 --> 00:48:57,588 or are... are doing right now. 1078 00:48:57,660 --> 00:48:59,570 And don't... don't stop loving us. 1079 00:48:59,645 --> 00:49:00,538 Don't stop, baby. 1080 00:49:00,605 --> 00:49:03,671 Please, don't stop, oh... 1081 00:49:03,741 --> 00:49:05,464 And, uh... 1082 00:49:05,532 --> 00:49:08,881 And let us just swallow our sins 1083 00:49:08,957 --> 00:49:10,331 and... 1084 00:49:10,396 --> 00:49:11,923 Oh... 1085 00:49:11,997 --> 00:49:13,371 Oh, Christ. 1086 00:49:14,940 --> 00:49:16,184 Oh, Christ... 1087 00:49:16,252 --> 00:49:17,976 1088 00:49:18,045 --> 00:49:21,787 Praise Jesus. 1089 00:49:22,012 --> 00:49:22,961 Praise Jesus. 1090 00:49:23,037 --> 00:49:24,695 Praise Jesus. Feels good, don't it? 1091 00:49:24,765 --> 00:49:27,252 When a good prayer leaves you drained? 1092 00:49:29,373 --> 00:49:30,933 Okay, let's eat! 1093 00:49:31,004 --> 00:49:32,914 Pass the meat. 1094 00:49:32,989 --> 00:49:36,763 1095 00:49:36,829 --> 00:49:40,920 So then... 1096 00:49:40,989 --> 00:49:42,996 Whereabouts did you kids grow up? 1097 00:49:43,069 --> 00:49:44,411 Oh, my god. 1098 00:49:44,477 --> 00:49:48,219 Jill... 1099 00:49:48,284 --> 00:49:49,178 Are you okay? 1100 00:49:49,244 --> 00:49:50,292 Hmm? Mm-hmm. Mm. 1101 00:49:50,364 --> 00:49:53,430 Oh. Oh... oh, god. 1102 00:49:53,500 --> 00:49:55,388 Joseph, something strange is going on. 1103 00:49:55,452 --> 00:49:56,859 Oh! 1104 00:49:56,924 --> 00:49:59,063 Wait a second. 1105 00:49:59,133 --> 00:50:00,148 I know what's happening here. 1106 00:50:00,220 --> 00:50:02,642 Oh... 1107 00:50:03,837 --> 00:50:05,146 Oh, oh... 1108 00:50:05,212 --> 00:50:06,106 Fuck you! 1109 00:50:06,172 --> 00:50:07,928 Libby, call the exorcist. 1110 00:50:07,996 --> 00:50:09,523 These kids are possessed! 1111 00:50:09,597 --> 00:50:10,677 And get my gun! 1112 00:50:10,749 --> 00:50:12,985 No, no, no, sir, I assure you... 1113 00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:15,671 Oh, shit! 1114 00:50:15,741 --> 00:50:18,075 Now, that's it. Everybody out! Out, out! 1115 00:50:22,684 --> 00:50:24,440 And take Lucifer with you! 1116 00:50:24,508 --> 00:50:25,718 1117 00:50:25,788 --> 00:50:26,716 1118 00:50:26,780 --> 00:50:29,627 The power of Christ compels you! 1119 00:50:29,885 --> 00:50:32,667 The power of Christ compels you! 1120 00:50:32,733 --> 00:50:36,213 As you come down 1121 00:50:36,284 --> 00:50:41,019 I'm not ready to go 1122 00:50:41,084 --> 00:50:42,645 1123 00:50:51,517 --> 00:50:52,761 1124 00:50:52,829 --> 00:50:53,941 Oh, I'll get that, babe. 1125 00:50:54,012 --> 00:50:55,354 Thanks, honey. 1126 00:50:58,493 --> 00:50:59,387 Hello? 1127 00:50:59,453 --> 00:51:02,267 Jerry. Yeah, it's Emile. 1128 00:51:02,333 --> 00:51:03,991 Oh, hey, Emile. It's Emile, babe. 1129 00:51:04,061 --> 00:51:05,555 Right on. 1130 00:51:05,629 --> 00:51:06,709 How are you doing, man? 1131 00:51:06,781 --> 00:51:07,958 So what's going on? 1132 00:51:08,028 --> 00:51:09,851 Is Nick going to make it to Toronto? 1133 00:51:09,917 --> 00:51:12,732 No. No, he's not. 1134 00:51:12,797 --> 00:51:15,579 Oh, right on, buddy. That is such great news. 1135 00:51:15,644 --> 00:51:18,165 Thank you, Emile. I knew we could count on you, man. 1136 00:51:18,236 --> 00:51:20,146 Bye. 1137 00:51:20,221 --> 00:51:21,682 I'm not ready to go. 1138 00:51:21,756 --> 00:51:23,447 I'm not ready... 1139 00:51:23,517 --> 00:51:26,168 I told you he was the best, babe. 1140 00:51:28,124 --> 00:51:29,815 So cool. 1141 00:51:32,189 --> 00:51:34,872 One drink each, guys. We can't afford to booze it. 1142 00:51:34,940 --> 00:51:37,329 Nick, after all of this, we can't afford not to booze it. 1143 00:51:37,405 --> 00:51:40,601 [Band plays "I Feel Like a Woman"] 1144 00:51:40,668 --> 00:51:44,181 I'm going out tonight I'm feeling all right 1145 00:51:44,252 --> 00:51:46,870 I'm gonna let it all hang out 1146 00:51:46,941 --> 00:51:49,591 I want to make... You suck ass, buddy! 1147 00:51:49,660 --> 00:51:52,246 I really raise my voice 1148 00:51:52,317 --> 00:51:53,299 I'm gonna scream and shout 1149 00:51:53,373 --> 00:51:55,991 Rock and roll! 1150 00:51:56,060 --> 00:52:00,283 No inhibitions 1151 00:52:00,349 --> 00:52:01,429 Dude, I'm saving your life. 1152 00:52:01,501 --> 00:52:02,428 Beat it. 1153 00:52:02,492 --> 00:52:05,362 Get out of here. 1154 00:52:05,437 --> 00:52:06,419 Now, remember, folks, 1155 00:52:06,492 --> 00:52:08,347 the drunkeryou get, the betterthey sound. 1156 00:52:08,412 --> 00:52:11,260 300 bucks is still up for grabs, 1157 00:52:11,324 --> 00:52:14,041 so keep drinking that liquid courage, 1158 00:52:14,108 --> 00:52:15,930 because we need another sucker on stage. 1159 00:52:15,997 --> 00:52:17,753 [Playing"Where Have You Been Lately"] 1160 00:52:17,821 --> 00:52:19,763 Ooh, I see a table. 1161 00:52:24,093 --> 00:52:26,482 Cougar alert. Avert your eyes. 1162 00:52:26,557 --> 00:52:27,734 And lose this opportunity? 1163 00:52:27,804 --> 00:52:29,365 Fuck that. 1164 00:52:29,437 --> 00:52:32,371 So what's the plan, ladies? You going to sing a duet? 1165 00:52:32,444 --> 00:52:34,354 Mm-mm. No, no, no, no, no, no. 1166 00:52:34,428 --> 00:52:35,705 Sasha's going up by herself. 1167 00:52:35,772 --> 00:52:38,455 Yeah, you have another, you freaking lush. 1168 00:52:38,524 --> 00:52:41,175 Sasha, I want to sleep in a bed tonight, 1169 00:52:41,244 --> 00:52:43,732 and I want a proper shower, 1170 00:52:43,804 --> 00:52:45,746 but you're the only one with the talent. 1171 00:52:45,821 --> 00:52:48,636 Now, go up there and... 1172 00:52:48,701 --> 00:52:50,872 and make us some money. Come on. 1173 00:52:50,940 --> 00:52:52,249 Yeah. Go for it. 1174 00:52:52,316 --> 00:52:53,843 Hey, I'll even buy you a shot. 1175 00:52:53,916 --> 00:52:57,429 A shot. Hmm. 1176 00:53:01,052 --> 00:53:03,387 Kung Fu. Really? 1177 00:53:03,453 --> 00:53:04,347 Black belt? 1178 00:53:04,413 --> 00:53:05,307 Naturally. 1179 00:53:05,373 --> 00:53:08,155 Impressive. 1180 00:53:08,220 --> 00:53:09,529 But the question is, Junior, 1181 00:53:09,596 --> 00:53:12,215 do you have your brown belt? 1182 00:53:12,285 --> 00:53:13,495 Ah. 1183 00:53:13,564 --> 00:53:15,800 The brown belt. 1184 00:53:15,868 --> 00:53:19,032 Ashamed as I am to admit it, uh, I don't. 1185 00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:20,856 In fact, 1186 00:53:20,925 --> 00:53:22,386 my friend and I were hoping 1187 00:53:22,460 --> 00:53:25,591 to earn such a belt here tonight. 1188 00:53:25,660 --> 00:53:30,876 Oh, well... perhaps that can be arranged. 1189 00:53:30,941 --> 00:53:32,981 You just have to sit really tight, gentlemen, 1190 00:53:33,053 --> 00:53:35,289 because we have to pee. 1191 00:53:36,445 --> 00:53:39,063 Tight. 1192 00:53:39,132 --> 00:53:40,626 Dude, what the hell was that about? 1193 00:53:40,700 --> 00:53:41,976 What were you talking about? 1194 00:53:42,044 --> 00:53:43,473 What's with the whole brown belt stuff? 1195 00:53:43,548 --> 00:53:46,897 Dime, let me explain something to you. 1196 00:53:46,972 --> 00:53:48,859 The human female has up to three openings 1197 00:53:48,925 --> 00:53:50,747 that can be used for sexual pleasure. 1198 00:53:50,812 --> 00:53:53,016 To date, we are familiar with two. 1199 00:53:53,084 --> 00:53:55,735 That's where the cougars come in. 1200 00:53:55,804 --> 00:53:57,942 Oh, that... that's disgusting. 1201 00:53:58,013 --> 00:53:59,867 That's... 1202 00:53:59,933 --> 00:54:01,907 Well, I need a beer. 1203 00:54:01,980 --> 00:54:03,158 1204 00:54:06,076 --> 00:54:08,410 All right, folks, 1205 00:54:08,477 --> 00:54:10,265 who's tanking next? 1206 00:54:10,332 --> 00:54:12,787 Right here, guys. She wants to. 1207 00:54:12,860 --> 00:54:15,348 Whoo! Give her some encouragement. 1208 00:54:16,732 --> 00:54:18,587 Come on. Make me proud. Make me proud. 1209 00:54:20,796 --> 00:54:23,033 Whoo-hoo! 1210 00:54:23,100 --> 00:54:24,987 Yeah! 1211 00:54:29,276 --> 00:54:31,829 Show us yourtits! 1212 00:54:31,900 --> 00:54:33,427 You first, porky. 1213 00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:35,093 Shut up! 1214 00:54:35,164 --> 00:54:36,440 Shut up! 1215 00:54:36,508 --> 00:54:38,069 Okay, this is... 1216 00:54:38,141 --> 00:54:44,087 uh, this is for all the assholes out there. 1217 00:54:44,157 --> 00:54:48,499 Prisoner of your love 1218 00:54:48,572 --> 00:54:52,052 Entangled in your web 1219 00:54:52,124 --> 00:54:55,921 Hot whispers in the night 1220 00:54:55,996 --> 00:54:58,931 I'm captured by your spell 1221 00:55:05,820 --> 00:55:09,017 Oh yes I'm touched by your show of emotion 1222 00:55:09,084 --> 00:55:11,931 Should I be fractured by your lack of devotion 1223 00:55:11,997 --> 00:55:13,207 Should I 1224 00:55:13,276 --> 00:55:16,407 Whoo! Ha, ha. 1225 00:55:16,476 --> 00:55:19,029 Should I 1226 00:55:19,100 --> 00:55:21,751 You'd better be good to me 1227 00:55:21,820 --> 00:55:25,464 That's how it's got to be 1228 00:55:25,533 --> 00:55:27,671 'cause I don't have no use 1229 00:55:27,740 --> 00:55:29,267 For what you loosely call the truth 1230 00:55:29,340 --> 00:55:31,282 And you'd better be good to me 1231 00:55:35,100 --> 00:55:38,482 I think it's also right 1232 00:55:38,556 --> 00:55:40,825 That we don't need to fight 1233 00:55:40,893 --> 00:55:43,926 When we stand face to face 1234 00:55:43,996 --> 00:55:48,022 And you present your case 1235 00:55:48,092 --> 00:55:51,354 And I know you keep telling me that you love me 1236 00:55:51,420 --> 00:55:55,130 Not bad for a Newfie, huh? 1237 00:55:55,197 --> 00:55:56,407 But did you think 1238 00:55:56,476 --> 00:55:58,548 I'd just accept you in blind faith 1239 00:55:58,620 --> 00:56:01,686 Oh sure baby anything to please you 1240 00:56:01,756 --> 00:56:03,928 And you'd better be good to me 1241 00:56:03,996 --> 00:56:07,825 That's how it's got to be 1242 00:56:07,900 --> 00:56:12,373 'cause I don't have the time for your overloaded lines 1243 00:56:12,444 --> 00:56:14,167 You'd better be good to me 1244 00:56:15,676 --> 00:56:18,872 Be good to me 1245 00:56:19,228 --> 00:56:22,327 Be good to me 1246 00:56:22,748 --> 00:56:25,683 Be good to me 1247 00:56:26,140 --> 00:56:29,653 Be good to me 1248 00:56:30,717 --> 00:56:32,953 Yeah 1249 00:56:33,020 --> 00:56:35,987 Yeah! 1250 00:56:36,060 --> 00:56:38,711 Yes! Whoo! 1251 00:56:38,780 --> 00:56:40,471 Yeah! 1252 00:56:40,540 --> 00:56:43,191 I don't know about you guys, but I think we just found our winner! 1253 00:56:43,260 --> 00:56:44,820 Yeah! 1254 00:56:47,324 --> 00:56:48,437 Wait! Wait! Wait! 1255 00:56:48,508 --> 00:56:49,752 Not so fast, boys. 1256 00:56:49,820 --> 00:56:51,249 This one's foryou. 1257 00:56:51,324 --> 00:56:52,917 Whoo! 1258 00:56:54,524 --> 00:56:57,972 Oh, that's what I call talent! 1259 00:56:59,869 --> 00:57:01,592 Yeah! Whoo! 1260 00:57:01,660 --> 00:57:03,067 First prize. 1261 00:57:03,132 --> 00:57:05,042 Second prize. 1262 00:57:05,116 --> 00:57:07,604 Yay, Sash! 1263 00:57:09,436 --> 00:57:10,646 Yes! 1264 00:57:19,516 --> 00:57:21,109 Enough fortwo hotel rooms and breakfast. 1265 00:57:22,332 --> 00:57:24,471 Not bad for second place. 1266 00:57:24,540 --> 00:57:26,296 Hey, you're... you're supposed to be dead. 1267 00:57:26,364 --> 00:57:27,574 Stay away from us! 1268 00:57:27,644 --> 00:57:28,921 But how did you get out... 1269 00:57:28,988 --> 00:57:30,995 Sorry, pal. This boy belongs to us. 1270 00:57:31,068 --> 00:57:32,050 You, let's go. 1271 00:57:38,236 --> 00:57:40,756 Come on, slick. Let's get comfortable. 1272 00:57:40,828 --> 00:57:43,283 Okay, but I'm no cheap whore. 1273 00:57:43,356 --> 00:57:44,917 You're buying me breakfast. 1274 00:57:44,989 --> 00:57:48,818 I don't think so. 1275 00:57:48,892 --> 00:57:51,063 Jill? 1276 00:57:51,132 --> 00:57:53,369 Jill, open up. 1277 00:57:58,492 --> 00:58:00,248 I guess it's me and you. 1278 00:58:05,212 --> 00:58:07,929 I have been dreaming about this 1279 00:58:07,996 --> 00:58:09,883 my entire life. 1280 00:58:09,948 --> 00:58:12,218 Oh, I bet you have. 1281 00:58:12,284 --> 00:58:14,139 Ooh, ouch! 1282 00:58:14,204 --> 00:58:16,724 Ah. 1283 00:58:16,796 --> 00:58:18,901 Yeah, come on. Get them off. 1284 00:58:18,972 --> 00:58:20,761 Hola! 1285 00:58:22,812 --> 00:58:25,463 Here we go. 1286 00:58:25,532 --> 00:58:27,157 What are those for? 1287 00:58:27,228 --> 00:58:30,644 Oh, you just wait and see, little man. Hmm? 1288 00:58:32,508 --> 00:58:33,523 I really wanted to. 1289 00:58:33,596 --> 00:58:34,873 Yeah, well, so did I, 1290 00:58:34,940 --> 00:58:37,395 but we can wait for anothertime. 1291 00:58:37,468 --> 00:58:39,835 You're so sweet. 1292 00:58:39,900 --> 00:58:41,558 Kiss me. 1293 00:58:41,628 --> 00:58:44,498 Are you sure, because it looked like you're kind of about to release. 1294 00:58:44,572 --> 00:58:45,782 Just kiss me. 1295 00:58:49,276 --> 00:58:50,486 I can't. 1296 00:58:50,556 --> 00:58:51,505 1297 00:58:51,580 --> 00:58:53,752 Oh, God. 1298 00:58:53,820 --> 00:58:55,608 Shh. Okay, uh... 1299 00:59:02,876 --> 00:59:05,909 You were great tonight. 1300 00:59:07,772 --> 00:59:11,863 That girl on stage, who is she? 1301 00:59:14,140 --> 00:59:17,140 Did you like her? 1302 00:59:21,180 --> 00:59:22,424 You take the bed. I'm going to... 1303 00:59:22,492 --> 00:59:24,826 We paid good money forthis bed, 1304 00:59:24,892 --> 00:59:30,326 and I demand that we enjoy it. 1305 00:59:30,396 --> 00:59:33,941 Are you suggesting we share? 1306 00:59:34,012 --> 00:59:37,558 As long as you don't get any ideas. 1307 00:59:39,292 --> 00:59:41,234 I don't get ideas. 1308 01:00:16,060 --> 01:00:18,035 Nice and tight, 1309 01:00:18,108 --> 01:00:19,188 around the horn... 1310 01:00:19,260 --> 01:00:21,082 Yee-haw! 1311 01:00:23,868 --> 01:00:25,275 So how does this work? 1312 01:00:25,340 --> 01:00:28,209 How am I supposed to earn my brown belt this way? 1313 01:00:28,284 --> 01:00:31,961 Oh, you will, big boy. 1314 01:00:32,028 --> 01:00:33,457 Don't you worry. 1315 01:00:33,532 --> 01:00:35,190 Whateveryou're doing back there, 1316 01:00:35,260 --> 01:00:37,497 just be careful, because I bruise easy. 1317 01:00:40,219 --> 01:00:41,202 What do you think, Claire? 1318 01:00:41,276 --> 01:00:42,705 Should we use the baby carrot 1319 01:00:42,780 --> 01:00:44,340 orthe Excalibur? 1320 01:00:44,411 --> 01:00:46,386 Baby carrot. Baby carrot. 1321 01:00:46,460 --> 01:00:49,143 Gosh, honey, 1322 01:00:49,211 --> 01:00:51,578 it looks like we left the carrot at home. 1323 01:00:52,540 --> 01:00:55,224 Too bad. So very, very sad. 1324 01:00:55,292 --> 01:00:58,805 Load me up. 1325 01:01:01,020 --> 01:01:02,580 Oh, dear Lord. 1326 01:01:07,292 --> 01:01:09,464 That was... 1327 01:01:09,532 --> 01:01:10,961 Yeah. 1328 01:01:12,636 --> 01:01:16,727 1329 01:01:16,796 --> 01:01:19,251 [Tyler moaning, bed banging] 1330 01:01:21,788 --> 01:01:24,985 Sounds like we're not the only ones having a good time. 1331 01:01:25,052 --> 01:01:26,874 Yeah. 1332 01:01:30,843 --> 01:01:32,666 This is great. Oh! 1333 01:01:52,060 --> 01:01:54,842 Cougars? 1334 01:01:54,908 --> 01:01:57,777 Hello? 1335 01:01:57,852 --> 01:02:00,219 Help? 1336 01:02:00,284 --> 01:02:01,910 Help. 1337 01:02:01,980 --> 01:02:02,907 Help! 1338 01:02:05,724 --> 01:02:09,914 Help! Help! 1339 01:02:09,980 --> 01:02:11,889 Somebody! 1340 01:02:11,964 --> 01:02:14,266 Help! 1341 01:02:14,332 --> 01:02:16,307 Tyler. 1342 01:02:16,380 --> 01:02:17,525 Oh, my god. 1343 01:02:17,596 --> 01:02:20,498 Oh, my god. Oh, dude. 1344 01:02:22,428 --> 01:02:24,054 Oh, my god. 1345 01:02:24,124 --> 01:02:25,651 Your place is way bigger than ours. 1346 01:02:25,723 --> 01:02:27,862 Could somebody just give me a hand, please? 1347 01:02:27,932 --> 01:02:30,649 Does your new friend have a name? 1348 01:02:30,716 --> 01:02:31,698 You got hickeys. 1349 01:02:33,532 --> 01:02:34,459 No, it's just a rash. 1350 01:02:34,524 --> 01:02:36,760 Dude, you nailed Sasha. 1351 01:02:36,828 --> 01:02:37,941 You nailed my Sasha? 1352 01:02:38,012 --> 01:02:39,899 I didn't nail anybody. Hey. Nick, come here. 1353 01:02:39,963 --> 01:02:40,891 What? Nick, some details, buddy. 1354 01:02:40,956 --> 01:02:42,712 I knew you guys were going to hook up. 1355 01:02:42,780 --> 01:02:45,016 Give us the juice, my friend. Give us the juice. 1356 01:02:45,084 --> 01:02:46,610 Nick, come on, come on, come on. 1357 01:02:46,683 --> 01:02:50,328 Guys? Okay, come and untie me. 1358 01:02:50,396 --> 01:02:53,462 Come and untie me, please. Somebody! 1359 01:02:53,532 --> 01:02:55,604 Guys! 1360 01:02:55,676 --> 01:02:57,367 1361 01:02:59,100 --> 01:03:00,507 Come on, come on, come on! 1362 01:03:00,572 --> 01:03:01,587 Hurry! I'm coming! 1363 01:03:01,660 --> 01:03:04,474 Shut up! I'm a little sore! Not a fucking word! 1364 01:03:04,540 --> 01:03:07,955 Yeah, Tyler, shake your ass! Fuck you guys! 1365 01:03:11,964 --> 01:03:12,946 Hey. 1366 01:03:13,020 --> 01:03:15,441 You kids can't be in here. 1367 01:03:15,516 --> 01:03:18,363 Relax, old man, 1368 01:03:18,428 --> 01:03:20,053 we come bearing gifts. 1369 01:03:22,876 --> 01:03:25,526 You think you can shut me up with a lousy mickey of booze? 1370 01:03:29,980 --> 01:03:30,929 You're kidding. 1371 01:03:31,003 --> 01:03:32,596 What? It's my personal stash. 1372 01:03:32,667 --> 01:03:33,812 Dude. 1373 01:03:33,883 --> 01:03:36,404 Make yourself at home. 1374 01:03:36,476 --> 01:03:38,963 Hey, this train goes through Toronto, right? 1375 01:03:39,035 --> 01:03:41,272 Toronto, yes? 1376 01:03:41,340 --> 01:03:43,380 Of course it does. 1377 01:03:58,812 --> 01:04:00,884 Hey, uh, mind if I have a little hit? 1378 01:04:00,956 --> 01:04:03,061 Beat it. 1379 01:04:11,740 --> 01:04:13,627 Hey. 1380 01:04:15,771 --> 01:04:16,949 So, did you want to... 1381 01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:19,224 I'll pass. 1382 01:04:19,292 --> 01:04:20,307 Oh, come on, Nick. 1383 01:04:20,380 --> 01:04:23,249 I know you're not turning this down, right? 1384 01:04:23,324 --> 01:04:25,779 Sasha, I made a mistake. 1385 01:04:25,852 --> 01:04:29,365 You had sex with me by mistake? 1386 01:04:29,436 --> 01:04:31,770 What, did you slip and fall and accidentally... 1387 01:04:31,835 --> 01:04:33,461 We were drunk. 1388 01:04:33,532 --> 01:04:36,794 We had a one-night stand. It was good, but that's it. 1389 01:04:36,860 --> 01:04:39,827 It wasn't that good, so don't flatteryourself. 1390 01:04:39,900 --> 01:04:41,842 Look, I'm not going to law school. 1391 01:04:41,916 --> 01:04:45,080 I... I have a girlfriend. 1392 01:04:45,148 --> 01:04:48,181 Trish. I know. 1393 01:04:48,251 --> 01:04:51,600 And I'm going to go to Toronto and see her and... 1394 01:04:51,676 --> 01:04:52,985 and propose. 1395 01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:57,555 I'm, uh... 1396 01:04:57,628 --> 01:05:00,497 I'm going to ask her to marry me. 1397 01:05:00,572 --> 01:05:01,750 It's fake. 1398 01:05:04,283 --> 01:05:06,422 I know. It's temporary. 1399 01:05:06,491 --> 01:05:09,906 Kind of like me. 1400 01:05:09,979 --> 01:05:11,735 Yeah. 1401 01:05:18,523 --> 01:05:20,890 Someday somehow 1402 01:05:20,955 --> 01:05:22,482 I'm going to make it all right 1403 01:05:22,556 --> 01:05:24,083 But not right now 1404 01:05:24,156 --> 01:05:27,123 I know you're wondering when 1405 01:05:27,196 --> 01:05:29,684 You're the only one who knows that 1406 01:05:29,756 --> 01:05:31,730 Someday somehow 1407 01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:33,745 I'm going to make it all right 1408 01:05:33,820 --> 01:05:35,576 But not right now 1409 01:05:35,643 --> 01:05:38,327 I know you're wondering when... 1410 01:05:40,443 --> 01:05:42,483 We're here. 1411 01:05:42,556 --> 01:05:44,760 Guys, wake up! We're here. 1412 01:05:44,828 --> 01:05:47,217 We made it. 1413 01:05:47,292 --> 01:05:49,266 I can't believe we made it. 1414 01:05:49,339 --> 01:05:51,314 We got here with eight hours to spare. 1415 01:05:51,388 --> 01:05:54,038 Nick... Guys, about five days ago, 1416 01:05:54,108 --> 01:05:55,318 Toronto was a faraway dream, guys. 1417 01:05:55,388 --> 01:05:56,315 Nick! What? 1418 01:05:59,324 --> 01:06:01,745 No... No! 1419 01:06:01,819 --> 01:06:03,924 No, you told me we were stopping in Toronto. 1420 01:06:03,995 --> 01:06:06,199 You said"through Toronto." 1421 01:06:06,267 --> 01:06:08,569 You didn't say anything about stopping. 1422 01:06:08,636 --> 01:06:11,254 I can't believe I gave him the rest of my weed. 1423 01:06:14,844 --> 01:06:18,106 Montreal, huh? 1424 01:06:18,172 --> 01:06:19,994 Well, I guess we'd better make the best of it. 1425 01:06:20,059 --> 01:06:23,474 1426 01:06:33,915 --> 01:06:37,211 She's a very kinky girl 1427 01:06:37,276 --> 01:06:40,658 The kind you don't take home to mother 1428 01:06:40,731 --> 01:06:44,048 She will never let your spirits down 1429 01:06:44,123 --> 01:06:45,978 Once you get her off the street 1430 01:06:46,043 --> 01:06:46,937 Ooh 1431 01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:48,629 Whoo! 1432 01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:51,602 Roast beef and a side of titties. Are we in heaven or what? 1433 01:06:51,676 --> 01:06:53,716 She says that I'm her all-time favourite 1434 01:06:53,788 --> 01:06:55,446 Relax, dude. 1435 01:06:55,516 --> 01:06:58,199 Propose tomorrow. Propose in the fall. 1436 01:06:58,267 --> 01:06:59,893 All right? Who cares? 1437 01:06:59,964 --> 01:07:01,557 Especially now that Sasha's in the picture. 1438 01:07:01,628 --> 01:07:03,057 Just drop it, Tyler. 1439 01:07:03,132 --> 01:07:05,368 That girl is really wild now The girl's a super freak 1440 01:07:05,435 --> 01:07:08,534 The kind of girl you read about In new-wave magazines 1441 01:07:08,604 --> 01:07:10,426 That girl is pretty kinky 1442 01:07:10,491 --> 01:07:12,401 The girl's a super freak 1443 01:07:12,475 --> 01:07:13,752 Did you get through? 1444 01:07:13,819 --> 01:07:14,964 Yeah. 1445 01:07:15,035 --> 01:07:16,213 And? 1446 01:07:16,284 --> 01:07:18,488 As soon as dad found out I was in a strip club, 1447 01:07:18,556 --> 01:07:20,792 he offered me a plane ticket home. 1448 01:07:20,859 --> 01:07:23,478 You're not going home, are you, Sasha? 1449 01:07:23,548 --> 01:07:25,271 What about Toronto? What about your music? 1450 01:07:25,339 --> 01:07:29,267 This is just not my scene, Jill. I mean... 1451 01:07:29,339 --> 01:07:31,412 Please, Sasha, you can't, you can't just leave me. 1452 01:07:31,484 --> 01:07:33,622 I need you. Forget about Nick. 1453 01:07:33,691 --> 01:07:35,415 Just do it for me. Stay. Don't leave. 1454 01:07:35,484 --> 01:07:36,891 Don't leave, don't leave. Please. 1455 01:07:36,956 --> 01:07:37,850 Okay. 1456 01:07:37,916 --> 01:07:38,931 I'll stay. 1457 01:07:39,003 --> 01:07:42,484 She's a super freak Super freak 1458 01:07:42,556 --> 01:07:46,200 She's a very special girl 1459 01:07:46,267 --> 01:07:47,893 Well, I'm still hungry. Who wants thirds? 1460 01:07:47,964 --> 01:07:48,858 Oh, I'm in. 1461 01:07:48,924 --> 01:07:50,549 Hey, there. 1462 01:07:50,619 --> 01:07:53,783 Can I interest you boys in a little... dance? 1463 01:07:53,851 --> 01:07:56,023 Nope. 1464 01:07:56,092 --> 01:07:58,393 Well, how about a massage, then? 1465 01:07:58,460 --> 01:07:59,507 We're fine. 1466 01:07:59,580 --> 01:08:00,889 Well, at least buy a drink. 1467 01:08:00,956 --> 01:08:03,127 Can't afford it. 1468 01:08:03,195 --> 01:08:05,268 This isn't a deli. You can't just come here and eat. 1469 01:08:07,004 --> 01:08:08,084 Look, lady, 1470 01:08:08,155 --> 01:08:09,465 unless those are breasts of chicken 1471 01:08:09,532 --> 01:08:11,953 that you're packing, we're not buying. 1472 01:08:12,027 --> 01:08:13,587 Right. 1473 01:08:13,659 --> 01:08:15,831 R-row! 1474 01:08:15,900 --> 01:08:18,617 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 1475 01:08:18,684 --> 01:08:19,928 Hey. 1476 01:08:19,996 --> 01:08:21,883 The sign says, "All you can eat fortwo bucks." 1477 01:08:21,947 --> 01:08:23,191 We paid it, asshole. 1478 01:08:23,259 --> 01:08:26,674 Hey, she said I could touch her. I had permission, dammit. 1479 01:08:26,747 --> 01:08:28,471 You know what? Le Pamplemousse. 1480 01:08:28,540 --> 01:08:30,645 Hey, these guys are Swollen Members. 1481 01:08:30,716 --> 01:08:32,090 No, they're not. 1482 01:08:32,155 --> 01:08:33,650 Swollen's in Toronto performing at the awards. 1483 01:08:33,723 --> 01:08:35,130 Our set's not forthree hours. 1484 01:08:35,196 --> 01:08:38,545 We thought we'd get a lap dance before we hit the road. 1485 01:08:38,619 --> 01:08:40,856 Prev fucked it up, though. Wasn't my fault. 1486 01:08:40,923 --> 01:08:42,199 You guys are going to T.O? 1487 01:08:42,268 --> 01:08:44,340 Yo, ourflight leaves in, like, an hour. 1488 01:08:44,411 --> 01:08:46,004 Why, you guys need a lift? 1489 01:08:49,756 --> 01:08:52,145 Nick, 1490 01:08:52,219 --> 01:08:55,351 Swollen Members have video games on the airplane. 1491 01:08:55,420 --> 01:08:59,195 Oh, Prevail. You're such a riot. 1492 01:09:00,379 --> 01:09:02,070 Ladies and gentlemen, the MMVAs. 1493 01:09:02,140 --> 01:09:03,995 Welcome to the Much Music Video Awards, 1494 01:09:04,060 --> 01:09:05,915 Featuring, live, Avril Lavigne... 1495 01:09:05,980 --> 01:09:08,697 Hey, these are live. Aren't we missing them? 1496 01:09:08,763 --> 01:09:10,356 No, man, relax. It's just a pre-game. 1497 01:09:10,428 --> 01:09:11,835 We'll be right on time. 1498 01:09:11,899 --> 01:09:16,688 ...Fifi Dobson, Pilate and Swollen Members. 1499 01:09:16,763 --> 01:09:18,290 It's kind of frustrating, isn't it? 1500 01:09:18,363 --> 01:09:19,792 What is? 1501 01:09:19,868 --> 01:09:21,362 We haven't been alone since the Prairies. 1502 01:09:21,436 --> 01:09:23,923 Yeah, that sucks. 1503 01:09:23,995 --> 01:09:26,995 And here we are on a private jet, 1504 01:09:27,067 --> 01:09:29,304 a few... miles high. 1505 01:09:29,372 --> 01:09:31,346 Yeah, it's awesome. 1506 01:09:31,419 --> 01:09:33,241 Miles high. 1507 01:09:33,308 --> 01:09:35,675 Oh. Oh... oh! 1508 01:09:35,740 --> 01:09:37,595 Shh. 1509 01:09:37,660 --> 01:09:39,220 As usual, the party continues here 1510 01:09:39,291 --> 01:09:41,201 at the big pre-game show, and look at this. 1511 01:09:41,275 --> 01:09:42,868 The best part about this red carpet 1512 01:09:42,939 --> 01:09:45,274 is all the stars who show up, and here's a famous one, 1513 01:09:45,340 --> 01:09:46,965 record producer Mr. Lenny Swackhammer. 1514 01:09:47,035 --> 01:09:47,929 How are you, sir? 1515 01:09:47,995 --> 01:09:49,621 Oh, shit. It's Swackhammer, man. 1516 01:09:49,691 --> 01:09:50,869 You know that guy? 1517 01:09:50,940 --> 01:09:53,427 Everybody knows the Swack. 1518 01:09:53,499 --> 01:09:54,776 You got three nominations this year. 1519 01:09:54,843 --> 01:09:56,370 How do you think you're gonna fare? 1520 01:09:56,444 --> 01:09:58,615 It's Hammertime, baby. Who's yourfriend? 1521 01:09:58,683 --> 01:09:59,992 Trish? 1522 01:10:00,059 --> 01:10:01,336 Who's Trish? 1523 01:10:01,404 --> 01:10:04,251 It's my girlfriend. Are you sure? 1524 01:10:22,331 --> 01:10:24,535 Okay. Shh, shh. 1525 01:10:25,275 --> 01:10:28,788 No, no. 1526 01:10:28,859 --> 01:10:29,753 Oh, god. 1527 01:10:29,819 --> 01:10:32,950 Please, I'm not even here. Come on, shh. It's okay. 1528 01:10:33,019 --> 01:10:36,085 Hey, I love you guys. 1529 01:10:36,155 --> 01:10:37,748 Yeah, you guys too. 1530 01:10:37,819 --> 01:10:39,096 Swollen Members. 1531 01:10:39,163 --> 01:10:40,090 Yeah. 1532 01:10:42,459 --> 01:10:43,387 Uh... 1533 01:10:43,451 --> 01:10:46,004 It's, uh, sweat. 1534 01:10:46,076 --> 01:10:47,537 1535 01:10:54,395 --> 01:10:59,217 Are you aware of what you make me feel 1536 01:10:59,291 --> 01:11:03,285 Baby right now I feel invisible to you 1537 01:11:03,356 --> 01:11:05,690 Like I'm not real 1538 01:11:05,755 --> 01:11:09,978 Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you 1539 01:11:10,043 --> 01:11:12,018 Why did you turn away 1540 01:11:12,092 --> 01:11:15,321 Here's what I have to say 1541 01:11:15,387 --> 01:11:18,104 I was left to cry there waiting outside there 1542 01:11:18,171 --> 01:11:19,894 Grinning with a lost stare 1543 01:11:19,963 --> 01:11:21,938 The action continues. Swollen Members have arrived. 1544 01:11:22,011 --> 01:11:24,597 Mocha, Avril just got on. You guys are next. 1545 01:11:24,668 --> 01:11:26,806 Whatever, George. Whoo. I rock! 1546 01:11:26,875 --> 01:11:31,250 'Cause you weren't there when I was scared 1547 01:11:31,323 --> 01:11:33,331 I was so alone 1548 01:11:33,403 --> 01:11:35,770 You... 1549 01:11:35,836 --> 01:11:37,461 You need to listen 1550 01:11:37,531 --> 01:11:40,847 I'm starting to trip I'm losing my grip 1551 01:11:40,923 --> 01:11:43,444 And I'm in this thing alone 1552 01:11:43,516 --> 01:11:44,661 Yo. 1553 01:11:44,732 --> 01:11:46,422 Whoo-hoo! 1554 01:11:46,491 --> 01:11:47,506 Gob! 1555 01:11:47,579 --> 01:11:49,619 Gob is here, and they're drinking free booze. 1556 01:11:49,691 --> 01:11:50,585 All right! 1557 01:11:50,651 --> 01:11:52,244 Who the fuck is this guy? 1558 01:11:52,316 --> 01:11:53,745 Uh, it's our little bitch. 1559 01:11:53,819 --> 01:11:55,762 He performs tricks and simple errands. 1560 01:11:55,835 --> 01:11:57,046 You want to borrow him? 1561 01:11:57,116 --> 01:11:58,010 Sure. 1562 01:11:58,076 --> 01:11:58,970 Beat it. 1563 01:11:59,036 --> 01:11:59,930 Excuse me. 1564 01:11:59,996 --> 01:12:01,206 I'm looking for Trish Robinson. 1565 01:12:01,275 --> 01:12:03,315 She's an intern here. She's got long blonde hair... 1566 01:12:03,387 --> 01:12:04,980 Oh, rocket of an ass, right? 1567 01:12:05,051 --> 01:12:06,360 Yeah, she's totally around. 1568 01:12:06,427 --> 01:12:07,921 Know what? Try the other side. 1569 01:12:07,995 --> 01:12:10,297 Thanks. Hey, can I buy you a free drink? 1570 01:12:10,363 --> 01:12:12,697 Uh, honey, don't you think we have some unfinished business 1571 01:12:12,763 --> 01:12:14,552 to attend to? What? Here? 1572 01:12:14,619 --> 01:12:15,513 Mm-hmm. 1573 01:12:15,579 --> 01:12:16,440 Where? 1574 01:12:16,507 --> 01:12:18,547 1575 01:12:18,619 --> 01:12:19,667 Trish! 1576 01:12:19,739 --> 01:12:21,201 Nick? 1577 01:12:21,275 --> 01:12:22,420 Hey! 1578 01:12:22,491 --> 01:12:24,793 Oh, my god. What are you doing here? 1579 01:12:24,859 --> 01:12:25,873 I came to see you. 1580 01:12:25,947 --> 01:12:27,409 Oh, you're such a sweetheart. 1581 01:12:27,483 --> 01:12:29,010 We need to talk. 1582 01:12:29,083 --> 01:12:30,807 It's so good to see you. 1583 01:12:31,995 --> 01:12:35,737 Let's go somewhere a little bit more private. 1584 01:12:35,803 --> 01:12:38,422 If you don't care then I don't care 1585 01:12:38,492 --> 01:12:41,787 We're not going anywhere 1586 01:12:51,803 --> 01:12:53,625 Deep throat this, bitch. 1587 01:12:53,691 --> 01:12:55,218 1588 01:12:55,291 --> 01:12:56,633 You can do it. 1589 01:12:56,699 --> 01:12:57,714 Tom, the fruit tray. 1590 01:12:57,787 --> 01:12:58,715 That's good. 1591 01:13:02,459 --> 01:13:03,703 You guys rock! 1592 01:13:03,771 --> 01:13:04,632 Hey, guys. 1593 01:13:04,699 --> 01:13:06,609 What's going on? That was awesome. 1594 01:13:06,683 --> 01:13:07,577 Good show. Good show. 1595 01:13:07,643 --> 01:13:08,592 Who's the cowboy? 1596 01:13:08,667 --> 01:13:10,008 He's no cowboy. 1597 01:13:10,076 --> 01:13:12,465 He's a banana-eating, deep-throating bitch. 1598 01:13:12,539 --> 01:13:13,652 You want him? 1599 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:15,032 No, I want a beer. 1600 01:13:15,099 --> 01:13:15,993 Give her a beer. 1601 01:13:16,059 --> 01:13:17,619 That's not beer. 1602 01:13:17,691 --> 01:13:20,026 That's water. 1603 01:13:23,483 --> 01:13:25,850 That sucks. 1604 01:13:25,915 --> 01:13:27,737 To the green room! 1605 01:13:27,803 --> 01:13:29,746 You guys are great. That was funny. 1606 01:13:29,819 --> 01:13:32,186 Let's go! 1607 01:13:32,251 --> 01:13:34,640 Okay. Outside, I'll meet yas. 1608 01:13:34,715 --> 01:13:36,024 Excuse me. 1609 01:13:38,555 --> 01:13:40,944 Do you work for me? 1610 01:13:41,019 --> 01:13:41,913 No. 1611 01:13:41,979 --> 01:13:43,189 Well, you should. 1612 01:13:43,259 --> 01:13:45,332 'Cause you would make an outstanding assistant. 1613 01:13:45,403 --> 01:13:47,607 What do you say 1614 01:13:47,675 --> 01:13:49,846 we go somewhere... 1615 01:13:49,915 --> 01:13:51,922 swing the Hammerfor a while? Um... 1616 01:13:51,995 --> 01:13:52,889 Hammer, you're on five. 1617 01:13:52,955 --> 01:13:55,290 Yeah, thanks. 1618 01:13:55,355 --> 01:13:56,402 Swing the Hammer later, yeah? 1619 01:13:56,475 --> 01:13:57,817 1620 01:13:59,899 --> 01:14:02,320 Sash, Avril Lavigne just got me wet 1621 01:14:02,395 --> 01:14:03,256 in the pants. 1622 01:14:03,323 --> 01:14:04,982 That's great, Tyler. Look, I'm leaving. 1623 01:14:05,051 --> 01:14:05,944 What? 1624 01:14:06,011 --> 01:14:07,188 Yeah. Look... 1625 01:14:07,259 --> 01:14:08,470 tell Jill I'm sorry. 1626 01:14:08,539 --> 01:14:11,921 I'm taking my plane ticket, and just tell her... 1627 01:14:11,995 --> 01:14:14,068 ljust want to go home, okay? 1628 01:14:14,139 --> 01:14:15,634 All right. 1629 01:14:15,708 --> 01:14:16,885 I'm sorry about Nick. 1630 01:14:16,955 --> 01:14:20,054 I know guys can be jerks. 1631 01:14:20,123 --> 01:14:22,970 But Avril Lavigne's hot! 1632 01:14:23,867 --> 01:14:25,874 1633 01:14:27,099 --> 01:14:27,993 Hey, what's going on? 1634 01:14:28,059 --> 01:14:30,579 Are you ready? Well, give it up. 1635 01:14:30,651 --> 01:14:33,269 Swollen Members! 1636 01:14:33,339 --> 01:14:35,445 1637 01:14:44,123 --> 01:14:46,611 My motorcycle rings are flooded I'm star studded 1638 01:14:46,683 --> 01:14:49,682 You motherfuckers not going to be able to cut it 1639 01:14:49,755 --> 01:14:51,763 Listen bitch I'm a tough act to follow 1640 01:14:51,836 --> 01:14:54,039 Suck my dick And here's a nut sack to swallow 1641 01:14:54,107 --> 01:14:56,147 Want to get personal close and intimate 1642 01:14:56,219 --> 01:14:58,129 Listen kid I'm a whole different instrument 1643 01:14:58,203 --> 01:15:00,920 Mental I'm not sentimental I'm intricate 1644 01:15:00,987 --> 01:15:02,775 It's impossible not to get into it 1645 01:15:02,843 --> 01:15:04,370 My intent to vent is not innocent... 1646 01:15:04,443 --> 01:15:05,937 Wow. 1647 01:15:06,011 --> 01:15:08,400 ...Of being real filthy with these menacing ways 1648 01:15:08,475 --> 01:15:09,784 It's time to finish your phase 1649 01:15:09,851 --> 01:15:12,437 I'm proof that raw adrenaline and energy pays 1650 01:15:12,507 --> 01:15:13,968 You're done your time is up 1651 01:15:14,043 --> 01:15:17,359 It's a brand-new beat now turn it up 1652 01:15:17,435 --> 01:15:18,864 Swollen's been coming up 1653 01:15:18,939 --> 01:15:21,427 So watch these motherfuckers burn it up 1654 01:15:21,499 --> 01:15:23,441 You're done your time is up 1655 01:15:23,515 --> 01:15:26,101 It's a brand-new beat now turn it up 1656 01:15:26,171 --> 01:15:27,764 Swollen's been coming up 1657 01:15:27,835 --> 01:15:29,079 Now watch these motherfuckers... 1658 01:15:29,147 --> 01:15:31,351 I can't. 1659 01:15:31,419 --> 01:15:33,044 I can't do this. 1660 01:15:33,115 --> 01:15:34,326 What is it? 1661 01:15:34,395 --> 01:15:37,046 I wasn't faithful. 1662 01:15:37,115 --> 01:15:41,588 You had a fling? 1663 01:15:41,659 --> 01:15:43,415 She wasn't a fling. 1664 01:15:43,483 --> 01:15:45,337 Well, who was she? Do I know her? 1665 01:15:45,403 --> 01:15:47,126 No. No, I met her on the way here. 1666 01:15:47,195 --> 01:15:48,886 She was... 1667 01:15:50,875 --> 01:15:52,282 She was hitchhiking. 1668 01:15:52,347 --> 01:15:55,762 You're dumping me for a hitchhiker? 1669 01:15:57,787 --> 01:15:59,281 I'm sorry. 1670 01:16:01,627 --> 01:16:04,442 I'm a hurricane pop with the speed of a cheetah 1671 01:16:04,507 --> 01:16:06,743 Believe in the new school 'cause it pees on the leaders 1672 01:16:06,811 --> 01:16:09,495 You're done your time is up 1673 01:16:09,563 --> 01:16:11,319 Never mess with a black belt, asshole. 1674 01:16:11,387 --> 01:16:13,459 Swollen's been coming up 1675 01:16:13,531 --> 01:16:16,150 So watch these motherfuckers burn it up 1676 01:16:16,219 --> 01:16:18,007 You're done your time is up 1677 01:16:18,075 --> 01:16:20,759 It's a brand-new beat now turn it up 1678 01:16:20,827 --> 01:16:22,615 Swollen's been coming up 1679 01:16:22,682 --> 01:16:25,301 Now watch these motherfuckers burn it up 1680 01:16:25,371 --> 01:16:27,193 Sasha! 1681 01:16:31,675 --> 01:16:33,170 Sasha!! 1682 01:16:34,875 --> 01:16:37,242 You marry Trish, you die. 1683 01:16:37,307 --> 01:16:38,234 What? 1684 01:16:38,299 --> 01:16:39,575 She's no good foryou. 1685 01:16:39,643 --> 01:16:41,050 No shit. 1686 01:16:41,115 --> 01:16:42,043 What do you mean? 1687 01:16:43,995 --> 01:16:45,719 We broke up, you psycho. 1688 01:16:45,787 --> 01:16:48,176 I want Sasha. 1689 01:16:48,250 --> 01:16:50,803 Oh. 1690 01:16:50,875 --> 01:16:52,468 Who the hell are you? 1691 01:16:52,539 --> 01:16:54,066 My name's Emile. 1692 01:16:54,139 --> 01:16:55,666 Your parents hired me. 1693 01:16:55,739 --> 01:16:56,633 My parents? 1694 01:16:56,699 --> 01:16:57,593 Yeah. 1695 01:16:57,659 --> 01:16:59,513 Kind of weird, huh? 1696 01:16:59,579 --> 01:17:02,099 Yeah. 1697 01:17:04,539 --> 01:17:06,906 1698 01:17:15,515 --> 01:17:17,588 All right. 1699 01:17:22,971 --> 01:17:24,465 In honour of Gob's kick-ass new album, 1700 01:17:24,539 --> 01:17:27,026 famed record producer Mr. Lenny Swackhammer 1701 01:17:27,099 --> 01:17:28,954 is here to present them with an honorary MMVA. 1702 01:17:29,019 --> 01:17:30,710 Thank you, George. 1703 01:17:30,779 --> 01:17:33,267 You know, the truth is... 1704 01:17:33,339 --> 01:17:35,411 Okay, I'm coming. Oh, god. 1705 01:17:35,483 --> 01:17:38,004 ...recording artist while these kids 1706 01:17:38,075 --> 01:17:40,049 were still learning their g-o-bs. 1707 01:17:40,123 --> 01:17:42,010 1708 01:17:42,075 --> 01:17:44,889 But I digress. I digress. 1709 01:17:44,955 --> 01:17:45,969 Yeah. Okay, come on. 1710 01:17:46,043 --> 01:17:47,832 Bring it home to mama. 1711 01:17:47,899 --> 01:17:50,004 Oh, baby, yes! Oh, my. 1712 01:17:51,803 --> 01:17:53,014 ...to present to... 1713 01:17:53,083 --> 01:17:54,097 Oh, my god. 1714 01:18:03,899 --> 01:18:05,425 I love you guys! 1715 01:18:05,499 --> 01:18:06,874 1716 01:18:12,059 --> 01:18:13,336 Dude, are you okay? 1717 01:18:14,075 --> 01:18:15,220 1718 01:18:18,459 --> 01:18:19,669 Oh! 1719 01:18:21,691 --> 01:18:23,218 So wrong, yet so funny. 1720 01:18:29,723 --> 01:18:30,933 Dime, are you all right? 1721 01:18:31,003 --> 01:18:32,410 Are you kidding? You were amazing. 1722 01:18:32,475 --> 01:18:33,369 Guys, get in. 1723 01:18:33,435 --> 01:18:34,329 Where are we going? 1724 01:18:34,395 --> 01:18:36,250 Does it matter? Not really. 1725 01:18:38,331 --> 01:18:40,120 Go, go, go, go, go! 1726 01:18:42,619 --> 01:18:43,513 Good luck. 1727 01:18:47,387 --> 01:18:49,754 [Darkness's"Growing On Me" playing] 1728 01:19:05,275 --> 01:19:08,341 Sleeping in an empty bed 1729 01:19:08,410 --> 01:19:11,923 I can't get you off my head 1730 01:19:11,995 --> 01:19:14,843 And I won't have a life until you're dead 1731 01:19:14,907 --> 01:19:17,362 Yeah you heard what I said 1732 01:19:17,435 --> 01:19:20,631 I want to shake you off but you just won't go 1733 01:19:20,699 --> 01:19:21,975 And you're all over me 1734 01:19:22,043 --> 01:19:24,050 But I don't want anyone to know 1735 01:19:24,122 --> 01:19:26,643 That you're attached to me that's how you've grown... 1736 01:19:26,715 --> 01:19:29,432 Hey, wench. 1737 01:19:29,499 --> 01:19:30,808 Get me some tartar sauce. 1738 01:19:33,179 --> 01:19:36,975 Damn compact, fuel efficient... 1739 01:19:37,051 --> 01:19:39,768 Look, buddy, 1740 01:19:39,835 --> 01:19:43,130 if you call me a wench one more time, 1741 01:19:43,195 --> 01:19:44,340 I swearto god, I'm... 1742 01:19:44,411 --> 01:19:46,483 Sasha, I need to speak with you right now, please. 1743 01:19:46,555 --> 01:19:47,449 Excuse me. 1744 01:19:47,515 --> 01:19:49,173 Right now, please, Sasha. 1745 01:19:49,242 --> 01:19:52,406 Hey, there! You fellers lost or what? 1746 01:19:52,474 --> 01:19:54,001 Whoa! They got surfing here? 1747 01:19:54,075 --> 01:19:56,050 Yeah. You guys ride, do you? 1748 01:19:56,123 --> 01:19:57,846 Are you kidding me? We're from Tofino, man. 1749 01:19:57,915 --> 01:19:59,377 That means yes. 1750 01:19:59,450 --> 01:20:01,338 Hey, are you guys Sasha's brothers? 1751 01:20:01,403 --> 01:20:02,777 Could be. Who's asking? 1752 01:20:02,843 --> 01:20:03,857 I'm Nick. I'm... 1753 01:20:04,602 --> 01:20:05,912 Oh, man. 1754 01:20:05,979 --> 01:20:07,408 I think this is the place. 1755 01:20:07,482 --> 01:20:08,857 Where's Sasha? 1756 01:20:08,923 --> 01:20:11,312 Over across the bay, flogging fish and chips. 1757 01:20:11,387 --> 01:20:12,314 I've got to see her. 1758 01:20:12,378 --> 01:20:15,695 I'm afraid not, boy. Ain't a chance in hell of seeing she. 1759 01:20:15,770 --> 01:20:17,778 Guys, we drove all the way here 1760 01:20:17,851 --> 01:20:20,022 just so I could apologize. Now... 1761 01:20:20,091 --> 01:20:22,230 If I have to take beats to tell her I'm sorry, 1762 01:20:22,299 --> 01:20:24,241 you know what? Just get it over with. 1763 01:20:24,315 --> 01:20:26,202 Go on, run for it, Nick! 1764 01:20:36,955 --> 01:20:39,191 All right. 1765 01:20:39,258 --> 01:20:41,975 Well, you guys got some ol' guts. I'll give you that much. 1766 01:20:42,042 --> 01:20:43,024 Especially that one. 1767 01:20:43,098 --> 01:20:45,487 Oh, my god. It's... fucking cold! 1768 01:20:45,563 --> 01:20:47,385 He's not much of a paddler, 1769 01:20:47,450 --> 01:20:48,399 is he, boys? 1770 01:20:48,475 --> 01:20:50,809 Hey, easy on the boy. 1771 01:20:50,875 --> 01:20:52,697 It's his first time. 1772 01:20:59,322 --> 01:21:01,591 I hope he climbs betterthan he swims. 1773 01:21:12,283 --> 01:21:14,454 Here's your bowl of jiz. 1774 01:21:14,522 --> 01:21:15,416 Oh, you're good. 1775 01:21:15,482 --> 01:21:16,660 Ow. 1776 01:21:16,731 --> 01:21:17,625 Aw, shit! 1777 01:21:17,691 --> 01:21:19,065 Nick? 1778 01:21:19,130 --> 01:21:21,618 Sasha. 1779 01:21:23,035 --> 01:21:24,496 What happened to you? 1780 01:21:26,395 --> 01:21:28,534 Oh, I, uh... I met your brothers. 1781 01:21:28,603 --> 01:21:30,872 Why are you here? 1782 01:21:30,939 --> 01:21:32,946 Trish turn you down? 1783 01:21:33,018 --> 01:21:35,669 No. No, I never proposed. 1784 01:21:35,739 --> 01:21:39,514 So you came here to collect second prize. 1785 01:21:39,579 --> 01:21:42,645 Doesn't work that way, Nick. Try not to fall on your way down. 1786 01:21:42,715 --> 01:21:44,820 Oh, come on, Sasha. Ljust scaled a cliff. 1787 01:21:44,890 --> 01:21:47,857 Hey, wench! Think you can pull yourself away from your man-whore 1788 01:21:47,930 --> 01:21:49,272 long enough to get me a beer? 1789 01:21:49,338 --> 01:21:52,088 Listen, you creepy little man! 1790 01:21:52,155 --> 01:21:53,049 Sasha! 1791 01:21:53,115 --> 01:21:54,009 What? 1792 01:21:54,075 --> 01:21:55,449 Take it outside now. 1793 01:21:55,514 --> 01:21:58,231 Come with me. 1794 01:22:06,682 --> 01:22:07,610 Oh, wow. 1795 01:22:07,675 --> 01:22:09,682 It's beautiful. 1796 01:22:09,754 --> 01:22:11,729 Yeah, you know, trees, rocks, 1797 01:22:11,803 --> 01:22:14,323 ocean, iceberg. 1798 01:22:16,187 --> 01:22:18,772 Look, Sasha, I came here because I... 1799 01:22:18,842 --> 01:22:21,559 To sleep with me by mistake again? 1800 01:22:21,626 --> 01:22:24,179 Oh, no, no, no. For real this time. 1801 01:22:24,250 --> 01:22:26,868 I mean, I couldn't turn you down in that get-up. 1802 01:22:31,963 --> 01:22:34,483 Am I still the biggest mistake you ever made? 1803 01:22:40,699 --> 01:22:45,041 1804 01:22:49,530 --> 01:22:52,083 1805 01:22:55,547 --> 01:22:57,205 Oh, god. That's cold. 1806 01:22:59,418 --> 01:23:01,142 Oh, my god. 1807 01:23:01,211 --> 01:23:07,375 Yourfriends are a bunch of idiots. 1808 01:23:07,450 --> 01:23:10,068 Yeah. Yeah. 1809 01:23:10,138 --> 01:23:11,829 1810 01:23:12,666 --> 01:23:14,357 It's a whale, dude. 1811 01:23:14,426 --> 01:23:17,328 Dude, my balls are curling into my abdomen. I'm turning back. 1812 01:23:17,402 --> 01:23:19,312 No, you can't. They're going to think we're pussies. 1813 01:23:19,386 --> 01:23:20,531 We're from Tofino, man. Tofino! 1814 01:23:20,602 --> 01:23:22,293 Tyler, that is an iceberg. 1815 01:23:22,362 --> 01:23:23,475 It's a fucking iceberg. 1816 01:23:23,547 --> 01:23:25,140 No shit, man. It's awesome. 1817 01:23:25,211 --> 01:23:26,934 Let's piss on it. Yeah! 1818 01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:30,231 What a wonderful world 1819 01:23:30,298 --> 01:23:32,535 Whoo! Whoo! 1820 01:23:35,450 --> 01:23:36,344 Yeah. 1821 01:23:36,410 --> 01:23:39,094 Whoo! Whoo! 1822 01:23:41,691 --> 01:23:42,967 Aah! 1823 01:23:43,034 --> 01:23:45,336 Aah, I'm going backwards. 1824 01:23:45,402 --> 01:23:47,442 Use your penis as a propeller. 1825 01:23:47,515 --> 01:23:51,192 I was producing platinum-winning accord... 1826 01:23:51,258 --> 01:23:52,152 Whatever I'm saying, 1827 01:23:52,218 --> 01:23:54,738 I can't fucking remember the words. 1828 01:23:54,810 --> 01:23:56,982 Relax. It's probably just a ticket. 1829 01:23:57,051 --> 01:24:00,793 We can't afford a ticket, Tyler. 1830 01:24:00,858 --> 01:24:03,509 Wanna kiss him? 1831 01:24:03,579 --> 01:24:04,757 Uh, Job says, 1832 01:24:04,827 --> 01:24:07,860 "Thou shalt not insert anything into his rectum." 1833 01:24:07,930 --> 01:24:08,824 I want to. 1834 01:24:08,890 --> 01:24:09,839 "Under any circumstance." 1835 01:24:09,914 --> 01:24:10,929 1836 01:24:11,003 --> 01:24:12,345 Jesus is calling. 1837 01:24:12,411 --> 01:24:15,760 1838 01:24:18,554 --> 01:24:21,042 1839 01:24:21,115 --> 01:24:22,773 What's your name? 1840 01:24:22,842 --> 01:24:23,987 1841 01:24:33,947 --> 01:24:36,183 Go on, kiss it. 1842 01:24:36,251 --> 01:24:38,039 Looks good on you! 1843 01:24:45,659 --> 01:24:47,000 Holy shit. 1844 01:24:49,690 --> 01:24:52,986 [Sum 41's"Open Your Eyes" playing] 1845 01:27:20,922 --> 01:27:23,672 1846 01:29:07,322 --> 01:29:08,664 Drop the corn. 1847 01:29:10,171 --> 01:29:13,367 Unless you know how to use it. 120139

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