Original subtitles

This is the Alvin Show, the Alvin Show, the positive gunner

of the Alvin Show, there's gates to fill and wine is more,

Here's the point of Giggles known as the Adore.

Now you see on camera three, the brother notice

that we're driving on the family tree, and here's the star of the show.

Alvin, Alvin!

Yes Mr. Collagen, I promise you I'll have the song done in time.

What?

Where you play with us?

No.

But we don't have anything to do.

Well do something.

Yes Mr. Collagen, look I'm working.

Don't worry Mr. Collagen, I'll get the song done.

Yes Mr. Collagen, yes sir.

Whatever you want, no.

Now what do you want?

We don't have anything to do.

Now look boys, I'm very busy so just go outside and do something.

Sure Dave.

What?

I don't know what, use your imagination, do something but do it outside.

What?

Alvin!

[Music]

What do we do?

I do know.

What do you want to do?

I don't know.

Want to build something?

What?

I don't know.

How about a bird house?

Yeah, maybe we could get us a bird to play with.

Sure, a Robin.

Or a Blue Bird.

What's the matter with an eagle?

[Music]

What a beautiful eagle house.

Yeah!

All we need now is an eagle.

That's easy.

All you gotta do is close your eyes and think eagle.

[Music]

That's an eagle.

Natural.

How did he get here?

Did you fly?

[Music]

Maybe he can't fly.

Are you afraid to fly?

I'll fix that.

When I get through with you, you will fly.

[Music]

Now, Stanley, don't be afraid.

Once you get up, you'll empty your speed.

Raise your wings and you will fly.

[Music]

I don't fly, but we...

Oh, baby!

Raise your wings!

[Music]

Stanley, you're getting raised your wings.

Steadily, Stanley, old boy, wings up.

Stretch and lay out.

Okay, ready for takeoff?

Let's go!

[Music]

You did it!

[Music]

Please, Stanley, you're flying!

No, Stanley, you're good.

You're good.

[Music]

St. Old boy, you're out of condition.

We gotta build up your flying muscles.

Maybe he needs food.

Say, that's right.

Do-do-do.

Dave, can I have 25 cents for Eagle food?

Sure, here.

Thanks.

Eagle food.

What an imagination.

[Music]

[Music]

Okay, Stanley, I think you're ready.

First, you gotta get used to high places.

Ready, man?

Up!

Up!

Up!

Keep it up, fellas.

I got an idea.

Do-do-do.

Dave, I gotta borrow your skees.

Do-do-do.

Sure.

Do-do-do.

My skees.

Alvin, why do you want my skees?

I'm gonna shove Stanley off the roof.

Hold it, Alvin.

You can't shove Stanley off the roof.

And who is Stanley?

He's my eagle.

Come here, Alvin.

You have no eagle.

Eagles live only in high mountains.

They're never where people are.

They fly only at an elevation of, uh...

14th, the-what was that?

That's Stanley.

That eagle.

Eagle?

That's a wild eagle.

I'll call it police.

Now, don't panic, Alvin.

Operator, emergency.

Police?

There's a wild eagle in my yard.

That's right.

Wild eagle.

Alvin, don't go outside.

I know they live only in high places.

Alvin, come back here.

We're Simon and Theodore.

I know they never-

I tell you, there's an eagle.

Yeah.

A 40-foot-wing-span eagle.

Stanley, do you know your an eagle?

And do you know how brave you are?

And how proud you are?

How strong you are?

And the best thing you know how to do is fly.

So come on, Stanley.

You can do it.

Yes, Stanley. Come on.

Fly to me.

Fly to me.

Fly to me.

I knew you'd put the direct in your mind.

[Growling]

[Growling]

I'm an invisible again, Stanley.

I'm going home.

Get lost, Stanley.

This way, man.

Arrest that eagle.

What eagle?

Are you blind?

That eagle.

Alvin, where's that eagle?

Alvin, tell him about the eagle.

Eagle?

Eagles live only in high mountains.

They're never in-

Now, cut that out.

Tell him about Stanley.

Stanley?

Yeah, Stanley the eagle.

You know, and that's his house.

Stanley the eagle.

And that's his house.

Come with us, Saville.

You've been making too many of them nutty records.

No, wait a minute.

Alvin, tell him about Stanley.

Tell him about Stanley the eagle.

Alvin?

Alvin?

No, no.

What are you writing?

Nothing.

Well, don't just stand there, write something.

I'm here something you'll really enjoy.

All right, fellas, are you all ready for the archery contest?

Yes, sir.

Naturally.

All right, Theodore, you're first.

Bravo.

You're next, Simon.

Very good, Simon.

Okay, Alvin.

Let's see what you can do.

[music]

Well, boys, here we are in beautiful Italy.

This is the city of Venice.

The city of romance and singing.

A city filled with gondolas.

And the most--

Alvin, a gondola is a boat.

Hey, let's take a gondola around.

My wife, little girl, little girl.

All right, fellas, a good idea.

And we'll ask the gondola to sing.

The gondola.

The gondola, Alvin, is he the man with a big mustache?

He's the gondola.

Come on, let's get into his boat and maybe he'll sing.

[singing]

[singing]

Hey, you mouse, pipe down.

I'm singing.

Alvin, will you please sit down and will you please let the gondola sing?

Okay, okay.

Okay.

[singing]

Hey, you mouse, pipe down.

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

Alvin, will you please sit down and will you please let the gondola sing?

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

[singing]

I like that a little, a little.

[singing]

I like that little.

I like that little.

[singing]

I like that little.

[singing]

I like that little.

[singing]

I like that little.

[singing]

[singing]

We've been...

You've been through my...

So gone now, we're all...

Don't come at me.

I know here I know, believe it.

Just singing a mousseau.

[singing]

Boys, please sit down and stop arguing.

No, no, let's all try to get along.

Mr. Gondolaire, will you let the boys sing with you?

I'm sure, that's okay.

Let's go.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

[singing]

I'm singing.

Ma, when I tell my kids I've been singing with three boys.

Hey, let me tell you.

I'm playing that trophy.

[singing]

I'm so glad I'm here.

I'm so glad I'm here.

Mr. Gondolaire, a boys, will you please sit down?

I think the boat's beginning to sink.

Mr. Gondolaire, I want you to play the big, big, big, big, big, big, big.

[music]

Ladies and gentlemen, that gives me great pleasure.

No, Alvin, you're supposed to introduce the great inventor.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, that gives me great pleasure to introduce that great inventor Thomas O.

Oh!

Alexander Grady, Wilbur and Arthur.

Wilson, who?

Wide crash cop.

[music]

Leonardo, I have just completed a study of modern man and I don't like what I see.

Seen from the outside, he appears a picture of calm and contentment.

Now, let us look on the inside.

Here we see the result of hustle and bustle, hustle and tassel, hurry and body come and go.

Work, work, work.

It is imperative that man should have relief from all this bonk, bonk, drip, drip, step, bang, tick, tick, and ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Now, what can I do to help mankind again?

Let me see, what he needs is something that will provide relaxation and pleasure.

A game, that's it, I'll invent a game, pencil, Leonardo.

Now, first, I shall create a circular form, a sphere, a sphereoid, a ball.

And you go back, act, act, act.

Oh, alright, Leonardo, if you insist, details, details, details. Does that satisfy you?

Next, I shall provide a means for propelling the ball through space.

And here it is.

The boot.

Now, what, Leonardo?

I find you very trying.

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, now that we have a game so basic and an object so ball, I shall call it...

Basic ball.

And now?

Carefully, Leonardo never point about it anyone.

There, Leonardo, there is a proper and an improper way to do things.

Now, swing.

That's more like it.

However, Leonardo, in this game, we shall endeavour to hit only the ball.

Come along, try it again.

Leonardo, I believe this game should be played out of doors.

We need an arena.

This game will become the great National Pastime Leonardo mark my word.

Next, I shall create the spectator or fan.

That's far, far, far and for and fan.

The man who comes here seeking pleasure and relaxation in a happy, friendly spirit of good sportsmanship.

Kill the bomb!

Very good.

Now to perfect the game itself, the battle, Leonardo.

This, I will call first place.

This being first, naturally, the opposite shall be second, followed by third.

And now, Leonardo, what comes after third?

Home!

Leonardo won't you ever learn after third comes fourth.

There, the perfect baseball diamond.

And now, let us choose sides.

Remember, Leonardo, whoever achieves the top hold on the bat handle has the first choice of player.

Ready?

I win.

Therefore, Leonardo, I choose me and you are left with you.

Now, let the game begin.

Take your place in the throwing area.

No, Leonardo, not that way.

Now remember, the purpose of this game is to hit the ball with the bat.

Now, pitch the bat.

Kill the bomb!

Kill the bomb!

Leonardo, somehow this doesn't seem quite right.

The solution, as you will see, is to exchange places.

Ready, Leonardo? Try it again.

Perfect.

Now, throw the bomb out!

My dear fan, you are brought here to relax and enjoy yourself.

So, will you please relax and enjoy yourself?

One moment, folks.

What this game needs is someone to maintain law and order.

An impartial arbiter whose decision shall be final.

Now, sir, call them as you see them.

[whistling]

Well, sir, if you insist, Leonardo, we must do what the umpire says.

This time, pitch the ball.

Pitch the ball. What a ridiculous idea.

A little bit of label.

Right one! What do you mean, strike?

That's terrific! I like for strike!

Oh, yes, surely, of course.

Strike two! Strike two!

Obviously, you are blind as a bat, sir.

Kill the bomb!

Right three! You're out! Out! Why you?

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope to be with you next week.

In the meantime, let me point out that relaxation is an R.

One must work at it.

Voila!

[music]

Well, boys. Have you been studying your French history?

The Cathedral of Notre Dame took 200 years to build.

Very good, Simon.

The Eiffel Tower is mine. It's four feet high.

Good Theodore. How about you, Alvin? Where's Alvin?

He got off a little while ago.

[music]

Good evening, myself.

My name is Alvin, and I'm alone in your beautiful city.

Feel about showing me around.

You don't call it English?

Well, I don't call it much French either, but I'll try my best.

Bumswer. Bumswer.

[laughs]

Bumswer. Bumswer.

I wish I could speak French.

I think I'm alone. Every label to sure.

Ha! Ha! I wish I could speak French.

I just can't run. For the be so.

I wish I could speak French.

[music]

[music]

Bumswer. Bumswer.

Bumswer. Al. Al. R. Al. Cards.

[music]

Me, Alvin. You, Mickey, and Pearl.

Understand?

You don't understand her.

Too bad.

[music]

And that's why. That's why.

I'd like to meet you. You'll remember.

I'm your kid.

Bumswer. Bumswer.

[laughs]

Al. R. Al. R. Al. R. S. Be.

You will go out with me.

Me. Me. Wow.

[music]

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to invent a brief word or two.

It is not often when I'm asked the new reference two and on the basis of...

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

This is the Alvin Show. The Alvin Show.

The positive gunner love the Alvin Show.

There's gates to fill and wine is more.

Here's the poignot giggles known as the Adore.

Now you see on camera three the brother notice,

ignment on the family tree.

And here's the star of the show.

Alvin. Alvin.

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

Hey you get off that car show, Beaton.

All right, you stupid ostrich. Get out and stay out.

[music]

Mr. Minut sir that's no way to treat a helpless ostrich.

Listen Mr. that bird is driving me nuts.

You see that little car she thinks it's an egg.

And for two weeks she's been trying to hatch it.

Now I'm running a car lot Mr.

not an incubator.

[music]

Oh gee Dave, he's broken hearted.

She wants her head.

We got her help her.

I'm sorry boys there's nothing we can do.

Ostriches can't hatch cars.

Now let's go.

Theodore, Simon.

Alvin I said let's go.

Okay Dave.

[music]

Hey Dave, wait a minute.

This man was Kaffee.

Oh Mr. Seville.

Yes?

I'm sorry I didn't recognize you at first sir.

You're the man who writes those records.

I'm so crazy about.

Yes.

He wants your autograph Dave.

Why certainly?

I'm that bottom line Dave.

Oh thank you sir.

It's a pleasure.

Come on Alvin.

Here's your contract Dave.

Contract?

That's right sir.

You have just bought an egg.

A car.

I did what?

I know you two will be very happy together.

Alvin.

Yes Dave.

[music]

Not Dave.

Oh never mind.

[music]

Great skyd officer look at that.

I know it's that guy who writes those nutty records.

[music]

Fill her up.

Which one sir?

The egg of course.

Say.

Aren't you the guy that writes those nutty records?

Never mind that.

Just fill her up.

[music]

Mama look.

Real bird don't stare.

It's only that man who writes those nutty records.

Alvin you've disgraced me for the last time.

It's bad enough tricking me and a buy in this car.

But I'm not going to place your fur to that ostrich.

I'll be the laughing stocker.

[music]

Well stop honking and come on around.

[music]

This is impossible.

That bird can't just sit on my car forever.

[music]

Maybe in a hat.

Theodore don't be ridiculous.

I may be stuck with a car but that ostrich has got to go.

Dave she might get cold outside.

Can she hunt it in the house?

Alvin.

Okay.

[music]

Who stole my blanket Simon?

Theodore Alvin.

Good night I'm Ryaka.

Oh Alvin.

Are you end of the line?

You're getting off.

Come on.

Get off my sand.

Let go.

I said let go.

[music]

[music]

Dave you're right here.

Yeah.

Dave you just can't fool around with old mother nature.

You're very prudent Mr. Seville.

No car owner should be without insurance.

Is that the car sir?

That's it.

Right there.

Is that part of the equipment?

Unfortunately yes.

Let's see.

Ensure car without ostrich.

Yes.

Car with ostrich.

No.

Couldn't you make it a package deal car and ostrich?

Hmm.

There's nothing in the book that covers car and ostrich Mr. Seville.

Can I even have fire insurance?

Mr. Seville.

Ostriches are highly flammable.

Good day sir.

And don't drive that car without insurance.

It's illegal.

By the way, aren't you the man who?

Yeah!

[music]

Hey Dave, what's the idea?

I'll tell you what's the idea.

The idea is no more TV until you get that ostrich off the car.

But she's hurting it.

Alvin that ostrich couldn't hatch anything out of that car if she sat on it for a thousand years.

Either you get that bird off that car or no more TV.

You mean I can't even watch me?

No not for a year.

But Dave.

Make that two years.

No TV for two years.

Why are we?

What are we gonna do?

I know what I'm gonna do.

What, Alvin?

I'm gonna seek.

I can't drive with the ostrich.

I can't get her off the car.

She...

Maybe it'll hatch.

Uh-oh.

Dave!

Quick!

Come outside!

Something's happening to the car!

Alvin, I'm about fed up with your tricks.

What is happening?

Alvin that's impossible and you know it.

Don't fight mother-gloves, Dave.

Hey!

Hurry up!

Look!

It's going deep!

Dave!

It's probably the fan belt.

I'll just check the yolk.

It's unbelievable.

It's amazing.

It's unbelievable.

It's amazing.

It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable.

It's amazing.

It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable.

Isn't nature wonderful?

[music]

Ah, stretch.

That's good, Alvin.

Can you do a hippopotamus?

It's all got the mess.

Now, wait till you see the next one.

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

Hi everybody!

The Chipmunks and I took a trip to Mexico recently and we'd like to tell you about it.

It's a land filled with romance.

A picturesque country of old world charm.

Magnificent buildings.

Historical monuments.

[music]

Traveling with the boys is such a rewarding experience.

It gives us a wonderful feeling of togetherness.

[music]

Market day is exciting in Mexico.

[music]

You can have so much fun bargaining for souvenirs.

[music]

You're forever enticed by the aroma of the exotic foods.

[music]

I was enchanted by the scenic splendor.

I said to the boys, "It's a beautiful country filled with music."

What's that ball of air?

Ball, look at all the people here.

That's a boring boys are about to have a ball fight.

I want a free ball.

Me too. Let's go.

Now hang on, fellas, you can't just walk in the middle of a ball ring.

That's nature is there.

We want a fight to fall.

We want to be a gorilla.

We know we can be a ball.

You can bet yours on a gorilla.

All right.

Baby wants a man whose brain.

Be his brain.

Be his brain.

They will soon and go as a rose.

When I touch the boon, I know.

[cheering]

We're gonna be couple.

We are fearless and steady.

All right.

We're hoping this hiding night will turn him loose.

We are ready.

We want a two-three pop-up.

We must have been craving.

Instead of a fight we are drinking milk.

Sure grab a ball.

Name for baby.

All right.

[cheering]

Ladies and gentlemen, let's get some groceries for the store.

No, Alvin, you're supposed to introduce the great inventor.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen,

let's give me groceries for sure to introduce that great inventor Thomas O.

Oh.

Alexander Graven.

No.

Wilbur and Arthur.

Oh.

Wilson, who?

Wide crash cop.

Wide crash cop.

Leonardo, in this grim world of ours, we take life too seriously.

We should devote more time to fun and frolic.

Today I am in a gay and merry mood.

Oh, oh, oh.

But it's not right that I alone should be so carefully and buoyant.

I wish to spread joy throughout the world.

I want everyone to be happy as a...

You better don't you?

Locke, very willianado, since I am in a good mood.

Locke, that's La Fola and Arquac Locke.

Now I shall invent a Locke to spread happiness.

Go Locke, spread happiness.

Alright, Leonardo, just to humor you, I will give him longer legs to speed him on his way.

Go Locke, spread happiness.

Locke is off on his merry mission.

I shut a lock into the air.

It fell to earth, I know not where.

I send the lock into the air, spreading joy and birth to everywhere.

Ah, Leonardo, the whole world will soon be singing my praises.

Aha, some happy person has already come to thank me.

What have we here, La Fola, Arquac Locke?

Why does a bundle of joy?

Be gone, take happiness to others.

This bundle of joy, I will call a baby.

Where did you come from, baby dear?

Out of nowhere into here?

You one happy child?

Above all else this innocent babe must be made happy.

Now Leonardo before I can communicate with him and learn his troubles, I must first establish a common language.

Go, go, flood zip-goop.

He says he wants my nose.

I will tell him he has a nose of his own.

Go, flood the baby's nozzle, me go snuzzle, no no, he understands perfectly.

It appears that the next step will be teaching the child obedience.

Let go child, child let go.

Perhaps child psychology is in order.

I will direct his attention to another object.

There you are Leonardo, now the infant is happy and I have escaped further bodily harm.

No baby, no more fun.

The child is having what is scientifically known as the tantrum, that's ten for ten and trump for trump.

The cure is simple, I really ignore the baby and the tantrum stops.

There, just as I predicted.

Now there seems to be something else he wants.

Why the poor baby is hungry?

So I remove the forbidden fruit from the little darling's mouth, then holding him at a safe distance.

I invent...

The high chair, note that he is now trapped and can eat only what is on his prescribed diet.

No, no, bad for baby, good for uncle Clyde.

I will invent the proper diet for baby.

Let us try one spoonful baby.

You want a whole bowl full?

Alrighty, but baby must make it all gone.

Not the psychologically Leonardo, the baby will empty the bowl.

So far, perfect.

Now after eating, the baby obviously needs a bath.

Therefore, I will invent what you've been known as the...

Oh Leonardo, what a silly word, bath in it.

How ridiculous.

I will call it the tauty tub that's a hyphenated word, folks.

Come baby, into the tauty tub tub you go.

[screaming]

[music]

[screaming]

[music]

[screaming]

[music]

No more lafola for our clock, we have enough happiness here.

Take your joy to others less fortunate.

No, no, we're getting much too happy here.

Go spread your happiness to others' luck.

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

All right chipmunks, we're gonna sing for the people.

So are you all ready to go?

Simon?

I'm ready.

Theodore?

Sure.

Alvin?

Alvin?

Alvin!

He must be a cop.

No, no, Alan.

This is Yankee Doodle.

In the words are, Yankee Doodle went to town

writing on his pony and stuck a feather in his cat

and called it Macaroni.

Okay, start.

♪ Yankee Doodle, and do tal-alright, and all he's come here ♪

♪ Fuck, I'm all in love, if I'm cursed, it's verdade ♪

I'll wait a minute, Alan.

It's Macaroni, not spaghetti.

Hey, roast spaghetti?

I don't care if you like spaghetti or not.

The song, the word is Macaroni.

Have you got it?

♪ Yankee Doodle, and do tal-alright, and all he's come here ♪

♪ Fuck, I'm all in love, if I'm cursed, it's verdade ♪

♪ Yankee Doodle, and do tal-alright, and all he's come here ♪

♪ Fuck, I'm all in love, if I'm cursed, it's verdade ♪

Hey, that was very good, fellas.

Now you're kids at home.

Sing this song right along with the orchestra.

Come on, now don't be bashful.

Ready, set, go.

♪ Yankee Doodle, and do tal-alright, and all he's come here ♪

♪ Fuck, I'm all in love, if I'm cursed, it's verdade ♪

♪ Yankee Doodle, and do tal-alright, and all he's come here ♪

♪ Fuck, I'm all in love, if I'm cursed, it's verdade ♪

♪ Yankee Doodle, and do tal-alright, and all he's come here ♪

♪ Fuck, I'm all in love, if I'm cursed, it's verdade ♪

♪ Yankee Doodle, and do tal-alright, and all he's come here ♪

♪ Mind the music and the stuff and the stuff ♪

♪ Don't be mind me, shape the music ♪

♪ Fuck, I'm all in love, if I'm cursed, it's verdade ♪

Ready for close-up, channel 1, story in.

Channel 2, television. Channel 3, television.

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

[music playing]

♪ This is the Alvin Show, the Alvin Show ♪

♪ The positive, the kind of lovely Alvin Show ♪

♪ There's gates to fill and wine is more ♪

♪ Here's the point, Giggles known as the adore ♪

♪ Now you see on camera three ♪

♪ The brother no disloyalment on the family tree ♪

♪ And here's the star of the show ♪

♪ Alvin, Alvin ♪

[music playing]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Hello? Is me, Currier? This is Alvin, well known star of television, radio and recording.

How would you like a real scoop on David Sibel?

I got a best one.

I just get over here right away.

[Music]

Here we are.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Excuse me, is this the Sibel residence?

Young man, could you stop blowing a moment?

Oh, I wouldn't dare.

I received a tip. There's some sort of a story on David's Sibel.

Oh, there is. You could write a lot about him.

He's so good to us. Starting next week, we only have to work a few hours a day.

A few hours?

Oh yes, he lets us do all the work.

David says hard work, there's character.

Oh, he does.

Yes, man. Excuse me.

Hey, guys, have you finished watching the car yet?

Not yet.

[Music]

Mr. Sibel.

Yes.

I'm from the evening career.

Apparently there's quite a story here.

There is?

Yes, and it's very interesting.

It is?

Mr. Sibel, those are the famous chipmunks.

And you insist that they do jobs like mowing along?

Well, at times.

And weeding the garden?

Yes.

You mean you make these stars do minial tasks such as washing a car?

Well, he's a sewing wood.

You see?

I understand they even paint the house.

Mr. Sibel, this is unbelievable.

I just want to take care of it.

Congratulations.

I was raised on hard work and it never hurt me.

I think young one should carry their share of the household duties.

Shoulder to the wheel and all that.

You do?

No, let's get some more shots of them working.

This is the most refreshing thing I've seen in ages.

It certainly is.

Okay, fellas. Back to work.

Know that lawn?

Wash that car?

Trim the hedge?

Weed the garden.

Come on now. I'm the double.

Good show.

Yeah, Helvin. You all think it's for us?

Big deal.

The great mind at work.

The biggest finger.

Little girl and here.

The big man.

Helvin.

What are you writing?

Nothing.

You just stand there, write something.

And here's something you'll really enjoy.

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Hey, baby.

Yes, Alvin?

Where are you, baby?

Right here, Alvin.

Where?

Over here, hang in my latest mask.

How come you like the mask, baby?

Because masks are like show business, Alvin.

Primitive people use masks in religious and tribal ceremonies.

Show business grew out of these ceremonies.

The first Greek dramas used masks to show despair, joy, anger, and love.

I bought masks for our witch doctors.

That's right, Alvin. They do use masks.

That's an Iroquoy Indian mask to drive away evil spirits.

Here's one from Tibet.

Was that for evil spirits too?

That's right, Alvin.

The Yaki Indians used this one.

And this one's Peruvian.

And...

What's the whispering for, Simon?

Well, we were thinking.

Yeah, about witch doctors.

[music]

Hey, babe.

Let's sing the witch doctor.

Oh, God, yeah.

[laughing]

Oh, boy. The witch doctor.

I don't think so. Fellas, I made that record.

Yeah, but not me, huh?

Come on.

All right, let's try it.

I told a witch doctor I was in love with you.

I told a witch doctor I was in love with you.

And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do. He said that...

[music]

Very good, boys.

I told a witch doctor you didn't love me, true.

I told a witch doctor you didn't love me nice.

And then the witch doctor, he gave me this advice.

He said that...

[music]

Now you've been deeply beloved for me just like you were a miser.

And I'll admit I wasn't very smart.

So I went out and found myself a guy that so much wiser.

And he taught me the way to win your heart.

My friend, the witch doctor, he taught me what to sing.

My friend, the witch doctor, he taught me what to do.

I know that you'll be my man, I bet it's too you or me.

[music]

[music]

Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure.

No, Alvin, you're supposed to introduce the great inventor.

Oh, ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce that great inventor Thomas O.

Alexander Grady, Wilbur and Arthur.

Wilbur and who?

Wide crash cop.

Wide crash cop.

[music]

Leonardo.

Fly, swatter.

Let me listen to you.

Now fetch me one of the deceased flies.

Look in here, Leonardo.

What do you see?

I got a camera near the car.

How do you suppose to fly?

A dead fly.

Leonardo, did you not observe the basic construction of the fly wing?

How do you suppose flies fly?

That's right, Leonardo.

The wing is the thing.

What is it the fly can do that man cannot do?

[speaking in foreign language]

No, Leonardo.

Walking on the ceiling is not what I was referring to.

What I make reference to is flight.

That's fly for fly and I'd fly flight.

And I, light crash cop, shall bring flight to mankind.

Man on the wing.

If flies can fly, then so can I.

The death mind, the brilliant brain,

all becomes all obstacles.

I shall fly.

Leonardo, for shame, a safety net, such puny faith.

Behold, Leonardo, I take to the wing.

Flight is here.

Flight is real.

[screaming]

Leonardo, am I not smarter than a fly or a bird?

Of course I am.

My mind is whirling with inventiveness.

Whirling, whirling, whirling.

Now I shall invent the whirling wing.

Witness Leonardo?

Or if I go into the expensive glue up yonder.

Whirling!

[music]

Now we're getting somewhere Leonardo.

Help me out.

[music]

We shall try again.

This time you will hold my body so that the blade revolves.

Ready?

Hold tight.

[music]

Leonardo, Leonardo, let go.

[music]

Leonardo, why did...

I am not unduly depressed, Leonardo.

I am sure the whirling blade is on the right track.

Come, all we have to do now is add wings and power.

Therefore, I shall invent power.

Observe, Leonardo, stored energy.

The whirling blade for thrust and the wings for lift.

Ready the cockpit, Leonardo?

I shall mount to the sky.

Let the birds look to their laurels.

Contact, Leonardo.

[music]

Ready, Leonardo?

[music]

[music]

[music]

What a momentous occasion, Leonardo.

No doubt this time, I know I'm right.

And right makes flight and mechanized flight will conquer height.

And back to the drawing board, Leonardo.

[music]

[music]

Voila!

All right, Leonardo.

This is it.

Make ready to cut me loose for the first flight in heavier than air craft.

All right, Leonardo.

Cut me loose.

Well, Leonardo.

[music]

[music]

We have failed, Leonardo.

They have miserably.

What is the answer, Leonardo?

Oh, what is the answer?

I like that very day.

Don't party coming in, right?

You are right, Leonardo.

Very logical.

Ladies and gentlemen, conclusion.

Life is for the birds.

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

All right, YouTube monks.

Ready to sing your song?

I'll say one.

Yeah, let's sing it now.

Okay, Simon.

Okay.

Okay, Theodore.

Okay.

Okay, Alvin.

Alvin.

Alvin!

Okay!

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

[music]

Okay, fellas, get ready.

That was very good, Simon.

Very good Theodore.

Alvin, you're a little flat.

Watch it.

Alvin.

Alvin!

[music]

Very good, boys.

What's the full of time?

Yeah.

No, that's enough.

Let's not overdo it.

I'm not overdo it.

We want to say it now.

Wait a minute, boys.

Alvin, cut the crap.

Wait a minute.

We're not overdo it.

Just a minute.

Simon, we'll cut that up.

[music]

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to invent a brief word or two.

It is not often when I'm asked in reference two and on the basis of...

[music]

[BLANK_AUDIO]