All language subtitles for Baby Daddy - 5x13 - High School Diplomacy.HDTV.x264-KILLERS.en

All right? Okay, perfect.

If somehow I die in
the next few minutes,

please take all of this off
me before you call anyone.

Knock-knock.

Hey, Ben. Or should I say milady?

Hey, don't make me
take these earrings off.

Thanks for hanging on to my
stuff while I looked for a place.

I'll just grab a few boxes
and get out of your way.

Look, I'm really sorry
you have to find a

new place, but your
job at the bar is...

Is over. I'm looking for
a new one of those too.

You know, someplace where both of
the owners haven't seen me naked.

Ben, you're not going to believe... Sam?

Didn't expect you to be here, you know,
because then I wouldn't have come in.

Careful, Riley, you might blow out
your back holding that giant grudge.

Riley, why can't you
at least be pleasant?

I thought you and Danny
had worked things out.

Yeah, Danny and I are
cool, but she can kiss my...

Oh my God. I almost
forgot why I came over.

I just got a call from our old
high school athletic director,

- Coach DiNardo.
- I thought he was in jail.

Yeah, they couldn't
make the charges stick.

But they are inducting me, Riley Perrin,

Team Captain and two-time
State Field Hockey Champion,

into the coveted Hall of Athletes.

Oh, is that different
than the super lame

Hall of Athletes they had
when we went to school there?

I'm just going to pretend that
you said congratulations instead.

Oh my God. Thank you so much.

But, you know, I'm on
the alumni committee.

I was going over the list of
graduates and you're not on it.

I... I'm sorry. Are you implying that
I never actually graduated high school

and I've been lying to my
friends and family for years?

Um, no.

I was just saying you should
probably call the school.

Ah, right. I will... definitely do that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the
middle of trying to run a kingdom.

I dub thee Annoying. Begone!

♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪

♪ Can take your life
and change directions ♪

- Sync and corrected by TheDelta -
- www.addic7ed.com -

Hey, Mom, can I talk to you about...

Hey, did you hear?

Danny is being inducted

into the Westmore High
School Hall of Athletes.

I am so proud. I made
everybody T-shirts!

So, what'd you want to tell me?

I didn't actually
graduate from high school.

Oh, yes, you did!

I saw you walk across that
stage and get your diploma.

I even paid for your
graduation trip to Cancun.

Kind of one of the reasons
I didn't mention it before.

- It's not that big of a deal, right?
- Wrong! Wrong, Ben!

What kind of role model are you
going to be for your daughter?

When I walked across that
stage and I got my diploma,

that was one of the
proudest moments of my life.

Mostly because I managed to
do it without going into labor.

I can't imagine another mother, ever,
being more disappointed in her son.

Mrs. Wheeler, do I
really have to wear this?

Well, except maybe his mother,
but I'm running a close second.

Danny Wheeler!

Coach DiNardo! Hey, I didn't
expect to see you here.

Neither did my lawyers, but here I am!

Hey, thanks for bringing
in some of your stuff

- to help fill out the case.
- No problem.

Here's the stick I
used to make the

championship-winning
goal my senior year.

Girls used to write
their phone numbers on it.

You think any of those are still good?

- Danny?
- Riley. What are you doing here?

I'm being inducted into the Hall
of Athletes as Athlete of the Year.

Actually, it's Co-Athelete of the Year.

Okay. I see what's going on here.

Danny Wheeler, Riley
Perrin... two star athletes

who made good and fell in love.

Great little human interest story.

But we're actually not dating anymore,

so if you could keep
that on the down-low,

I think we'd both really appreciate it.

Yeah. No one cares.

The school board just coughed up
enough cash for a couple of extra cases,

so we figured, might as well fill them.

It's still an honor.

Uh, where is my case, anyway?

Next to the girls' bathroom?

And not even the good bathroom,

the one where the skanks
and potheads hang out.

Hey. Skanks and potheads
need to be inspired too.

This... This is because I'm a girl.

You know, I get shoved in the back,

while you, a boy, get
showcased up front.

If you replace "boy"
with "New York Ranger"

and "girl" with "not a New York Ranger,"

then, yeah, I agree with you.

Oh my God. Oh my God!

Look. They're honoring Sam too?

Cheerleading is not even a sport.

She was head cheerleader and
they won state like four times.

Oh, are you sure? Do you want
to go home and check your diary?

Who's that kid with the huge nose?

Oh my God.

Oh my God!

It's Sam!

And she's hideous.

I can't believe the girl who
bullied me every day for how I looked

looked like this.

Oh, thank you. This is going to be
so good. I'm going to destroy her.

Or you can be the bigger person

and pretend like you never saw it.

Very funny, Danny, but
I need real ideas here.

Dude, I seriously can't believe that you
just forgot to take your biology final.

Let's just say an
exchange student named

Inka might've had
something to do with it.

Inka-Dinka, don't mind if I do.

- Hey, thanks for coming with me.
- No problem, man.

You know, I've never really understood

why anybody would want
to be a teacher, man.

You're under-appreciated,
you're underpaid

and under my sheets if
I'm lucky. Excuse me.

How you doing? I'm Tucker
Dobbs. I'm a new teacher here.

Do you mind showing me where
the teacher's lounge is?

And I wouldn't mind stopping
for a drink on the way there.

- Mom?
- Ben!

Hey! What am I doing here?

Well, since you brought it up...

Uh, you know, I...

just thought I would come down
here and see if there was any way

that I could help you get that diploma.

Oh, thanks. That's why I'm here too.

I just I really want to be the kind of
role model to Emma that you were to me.

There you are!

Found your file.

Bonnie Krapinski.

Only three credits shy of graduation.

Never got around to taking
that biology final, huh?

What? You didn't graduate either?

After everything you said to me?

I was giving birth.

That's God's biology final.

I don't think those credits transfer.

Oh, hey.

I'd love to stay for any witty
insults you want to toss my way,

but this is my last
box, so, see you never.

Well, lucky for me,

a picture is worth a
thousand snarky comments.

Look familiar?

God, give me that! I thought
I destroyed all these!

Please, like I didn't make copies.

What is wrong with you?

I'm sorry I hooked up
with Danny in high school,

but you have been a bitch to
me ever since the day I met you.

I'm sorry, I was mean to you?

You never missed an opportunity
to remind me that I was a fat dork.

Like I didn't already know that?

Look, I got a nose
job so I could fit in.

But then, I don't know where God gave me
these, and I stood out all over again.

Ever guy wouldn't leave me alone,

and every girl pretty
much stopped talking to me

unless it was to make snide
comments behind my back,

most of which came from you
and your little jock posse,

so don't think that you're the only one
who went home and cried after school.

Wow. I...

I had no idea. I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, so am I.

And for the record, I would've
reacted exactly the same way

if I found out my boyfriend lied
about sleeping with someone too.

- I mean, you flat-out asked him.
- Thank you!

Hey, um... I have an
open bottle of wine.

Do you want to help me finish it?

I'd love that.

Oh, oh. And you are never going to
believe where they put our trophy cases.

Next to the skank bathroom.

And where'd they put
Danny's case, right up front?

- Oh, you know it.
- Men.

Oh.

This can't be good.

So, all we got to
do, is convince the

current teacher to let
us take the final.

If it's still Mr.
Roberts, I so got this.

Ben Wheeler.

I do not got this.

Ms. Gilcrest. Hi.

Great to see your
eyebrow has grown back.

Bet you never thought
you'd see me again, huh?

Oh, I don't know. I tutor at the
prison, so I keep an eye out for you.

- You must be the mom.
- Yes, Your Honor.

Look, I appreciate that you
both want to do the right thing,

so I will let you retake the test.

By the way, it's tomorrow.

Do you happen to know if that
was ever made into a movie?

Dude, this is impossible.
I'm never going to pass.

What does biology have
to do with life anyway?

Look, man, I'd help you out,

but I met the lovely Miss
Jimenez in the teacher's lounge,

and I offered to help grade some
of her students' Spanish homework.

- I didn't know you spoke Spanish.
- I don't.

Which is too bad for
little Tommy... C-plus!

Forty-nine!

Can you believe it? Forty-nine!

I could, if you put on a little
more makeup and you dim the lights.

Tick-tock,
smartass. Tick-tock.

Forty-nine is what I
got on the practice test.

What the hell am I going to do?

Mrs. Wheeler, if you just stay
focused and work hard, you'll pass.

Effort never goes without reward.

D-minus for Topher.

You know, Ben, this test might be easier

if we considered
"alternative" study methods.

- Are you suggesting we cheat?
- Cheat? No, no.

Those are you words, not mine.

Unless you're "open" to it.

No, I'm not open to it.

We should both do this the right way.

Yes. Exactly what I was thinking.

Yes. I'm so glad we are
on the same page, son.

All right, I need you to help me cheat.

And why would I want to do that?

Because I'll tell everyone where
you go every Wednesday afternoon.

That's right. I follow
you on the subway.

Hey, bro. You got two seconds?

Yeah.

Think I might have a little
situation on my hands.

I think Riley and Sam
are becoming friends.

Are you serious?

Dude, what are you still
doing here? Run! Hide!

Start a new life in another country.

Man, they have one common hatred now.

- They do? What is it?
- It's you, Danny.

That hatred is you.

Look, man, if you ever want
to have a future with Riley,

you need to find a way to
end her friendship with Sam.

You've got to split them like an atom.

Oh my God. I'm learning.

Are you sure?

I mean, honestly, how bad can it be?

- Oh!
- Whoa!

This is so cool.

I finally did something
badass in high school!

Take that, stupid Danny.

You think you're better than girls?
Well, you're not. And you know why?

Oh. Are you talking to me?

- Talking about what?
- I don't know.

I have to barf.

It's got to be here somewhere.

Answer key. Answer key.

Answer key! Yes, yes!

Can I help you?

Hi. Hey.

I'm the new substi-cute
teacher, Mr. Tucker Dobbs.

And regardless of what you have heard,

Miss Jimenez and I are not exclusive.

You know Ms. Jimenez is married?

No, I did not know that.

Ms. Gilcrest?

Hey, I know I'm a couple hours
early, but I really need help

with some of the human
reproduction questions.

Oh.

Is this the part where you
try to get me to say "penis,"

while you snicker to yourself?

No need.

But I'm actually serious.
I have to pass this test.

And I'm sorry I was such
a troublemaker back then,

but I'm not that guy anymore.

In fact, I'm actually a... a father now.

This is my daughter, Emma.

She's why I'm doing this.

She's pretty cute.

She has your eyes.

Fine.

Oh, thank you.

And, again, I'm sorry I was
such a troublemaker back then.

At least you always made me laugh,
and you really weren't that bad.

I was almost expelled.

It was never going to happen.

You were quite the charmer.

And it looks like you've
only improved with age.

Ms. Gilcrest.

Are you flirting with me?

I don't know.

Maybe I am.

Teachers are allowed to
have crushes too, you know.

Especially when students
aren't students... anymore.

I'm starting to remember why
I never missed your class.

Oh my God. I am sorry. I
don't know what got into me.

That was... totally inappropriate.

No. I liked it.

In fact,

it might actually answer
some of my questions.

This hangover is why I
didn't party in high school.

You didn't party in
high school because

nobody asked you to
party in high school.

Shut up, Sam.

And we still have to
figure out how to get that

trophy case back before
anybody finds out.

Yeah, that wasn't the best
idea. Why did we do that?

Because you said it was the best idea.

And we both know it wasn't Danny's fault
that our stuff got shoved to the back.

Yeah, but he could've said something.

Oh, hey. I need to talk to both
of you about my trophy case.

- We were at home.
- We were at the movies.

We were at home and then
we went to the movies.

No. I just don't think it's
fair that mine was put up front.

So I talked to Coach DiNardo and I
threatened to take back all of my stuff,

so he finally agreed to
switch mine with one of yours.

Seriously?

Oh, that is so sweet.

Damn it, Danny. Why do
you have to be so nice?

How am I supposed to
stay mad at you now?

Just decide whose case you want
moved, and I'll get it taken care of.

You know what?

You should take the front case.

You deserve it.

Aw, Riley. That is so nice.

Okay.

No. This is the part where you
say, "You should have the front case

because you deserve it."

- You just said I should take it.
- Yeah, but I didn't think you'd accept.

- So you didn't mean it?
- No. Of course I didn't mean it.

Cheerleading is not even a real sport.

I will have you know I was
in amazing physical shape.

Oh, oh. I'm sorry. And people were
talking about you behind your back?

Have you been chased
by a 200-pound goalie?

Or wear a little cage around
your eyes? That's a sport!

Ah, friends till the end.

Luckily, that was the end.

Okay. My brain is at full capacity,

so as long as I don't learn
anything new in the next 30 seconds,

I'm gonna ace this.

I hear you.

I don't think I ever studied this hard.

All right, slight change of plans.

I have good reason to believe that
someone stole the test answer key.

I just want to say that I...

I imagine it happened while
I was being distracted.

I knew you were devious,
Ben, but I never

expected you to use me
to cheat on a test.

What? I didn't cheat.

And you're the one who kissed me.

You kissed a teacher?

Have you no shame?

If you're telling the truth,

then your performance
will vindicate you.

I was kind of hoping
that it already had.

By the way,

it's a completely new test.

Um... Ms. Gilcrest?

That's not really fair.

'Cause, uh, I didn't cheat,

so I should probably get the old one.

Okay. It's the same questions,
just a different order.

Great.

And what is that order?

Ms. Gilcrest, um...

The principal asked to speak with you.

Now?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Mr. Dobbs, would you keep
an eye on these two for me?

If I could tear my eyes off you.

No? Okay. All right.

- Come on.
- It's got to be here.

What are you guys doing?
That's against the rules.

Who have I become?

For the last
time, Coach DiNardo,

keep your hands to yourself!

The principal isn't even here today.

I don't know who told you...

And if a certain someone
is looking for the answers,

they're locked away safely in my office.

Oh. I will be collecting cell
phones and locking all doors.

Hi.

But if Joey's Pizza Shack calls, will
you tell them that we're in room One-B?

I have low blood sugar.

Okay. We agree, whatever
Coach DiNardo decides,

we'll be cool with.

Coach! Hey, thank you so much for
moving one of our cases up front.

It should be mine.
I'm so glad you agree.

No. If anyone's going to be switching
cases with Danny, it's going to be me.

A four-time champion, not two. Four!

Yeah. I don't know what you
two girls are talking about.

No one's moving anything anywhere.

But I'd be willing to go
to my office and discuss it.

No? Okay, well...

It's down the hall on the
right if you change your mind.

I'm really confused.

Danny lied to us.

He was trying to turn us
against each other and it worked.

- He can't get away with this.
- No, no. He's not.

Tucker! What are you doing here?

Stealing test answers for Mrs.
Wheeler. What are you doing here?

Stealing Danny's hockey stick.

Carry on.

Ben!

What'd you put down for number 12?

I'm not going to tell you.

I actually studied.

Well, I actually pushed
you out of my uterus.

Give me the answer.

Oh, wait. Uterus. Got this.

Shh!

Psst! Psst! Psst!

Ben, stop making noise.
You're distracting your mother.

How do you know how to work this stuff?

When you're not popular or hot,
you take wood shop as an elective.

- Stop!
- Ben.

What are you doing here? How
did you know where we were?

It was pretty easy.

I just followed the cab with the
giant trophy case sticking out of it.

We know that you lied to us and
tried to pit us against each other.

Okay. Yeah. I was
terrified of the thought

of you two teaming
up against me,

which is exactly what you did.

That doesn't sound
like much of an apology.

No! No!

Now that sounds like an apology.

Oh my God! Why would you do that?

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pitted
the two of you against each other,

but I'm not the guy who
decided to put your

trophy cases in back of
the Hall of Toilets.

Yeah, well, you certainly
didn't do anything about it.

Actually, I did.

I just talked to DiNardo, and he agreed
to put your cases up in the front.

For real this time.

Oh.

Hey, Sam. Can you find some glue?

You have about 30 seconds left.

Not if you don't need them. All done.

I took this fair and square.

You can think of me what you want,
but I know I did the right thing.

Done! All done.

And I, too, took it fair and square.

I certainly didn't cheat.

Want to grade that now. I'll wait.

Hey, I don't know what
apples mean to you people,

but rumor has it,
you're crazy about 'em.

Any chance you finished grading my test?

I did... and I'm sorry.

What?

I can't believe it. I
actually studied this time.

No. I mean, I'm sorry
for not believing you.

You couldn't have cheated.

I mean, no one cheats and gets a 69.

Wait. So, I passed the test?

Yes! I finally graduated high school.

And, uh, hey,

if you ever need a tutor.

Wait. Why would I need a
tutor. I just passed the...

Ms. Gilcrest.

Are you flirting with me, again?