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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:08,556 I will swallow it. 2 00:00:08,656 --> 00:00:11,291 I'll swallow it! 3 00:00:11,391 --> 00:00:14,592 I'll swallow my pride, Franklin. 4 00:00:14,692 --> 00:00:16,592 DIRECTOR: [clears throat] Thank you, Ms. Morgan. 5 00:00:16,692 --> 00:00:18,592 Uh, but there's more to the scene. 6 00:00:18,692 --> 00:00:20,160 We'll call ya. 7 00:00:20,260 --> 00:00:22,427 Wasn't I sincere enough? 8 00:00:22,527 --> 00:00:23,461 Wallow. Wallow. 9 00:00:23,561 --> 00:00:25,061 We're not looking for sincere, honey. 10 00:00:25,161 --> 00:00:26,494 We're looking for sexy. 11 00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:30,629 But Eleanor Roosevelt wasn't sexy... handsome, 12 00:00:30,729 --> 00:00:33,230 Maybe, perhaps a little kinky. 13 00:00:33,330 --> 00:00:34,729 DIRECTOR: We'll call ya. [Inaudible]. 14 00:00:34,829 --> 00:00:35,497 Look. 15 00:00:35,597 --> 00:00:37,163 Let me do it again. 16 00:00:37,263 --> 00:00:39,797 How the hell was I supposed to know you wanted sexy? 17 00:00:39,897 --> 00:00:40,598 Thank you. 18 00:00:40,698 --> 00:00:42,598 Hey, I can be very sexy. 19 00:00:42,698 --> 00:00:43,732 Ms. Morgan, we'll call you. 20 00:00:43,832 --> 00:00:45,632 [Inaudible]. 21 00:00:45,732 --> 00:00:47,499 So you want sexy, huh? 22 00:00:47,599 --> 00:00:50,266 Is this sexy enough for ya? 23 00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:51,067 Pastrami sandwiches. 24 00:00:54,102 --> 00:01:00,368 Ooh, Franklin, I will swallow it. 25 00:01:00,468 --> 00:01:02,868 I'll be a real woman. 26 00:01:02,968 --> 00:01:03,803 Woo! 27 00:01:03,903 --> 00:01:04,602 Ooh! 28 00:01:04,702 --> 00:01:06,570 MAN: Look at that! 29 00:01:06,670 --> 00:01:09,669 Well, there is the part of, uh, Heber... Her... uh, Herbert... 30 00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:11,238 Herbert Hoover's French maid. 31 00:01:11,338 --> 00:01:13,438 If you'd like to step up into my office, 32 00:01:13,538 --> 00:01:16,005 Uh, to discuss the contract, of course. 33 00:01:16,106 --> 00:01:17,004 Thanks. 34 00:01:17,105 --> 00:01:20,172 I'll call you. 35 00:01:20,272 --> 00:01:22,106 Swallow my ass. 36 00:01:22,206 --> 00:01:24,074 MAN: Hey, [inaudible]. 37 00:01:24,174 --> 00:01:26,007 Ahh! 38 00:01:26,108 --> 00:01:29,409 She really had tits [inaudible]. 39 00:01:29,509 --> 00:01:30,874 Hey. 40 00:01:30,974 --> 00:01:33,275 You know, what I wanted wasn't on that menu. 41 00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:34,410 [Laughter] 42 00:01:34,510 --> 00:01:37,309 If it's not on the menu, then we don't have it. 43 00:01:37,409 --> 00:01:38,743 Somebody hungry. 44 00:01:38,843 --> 00:01:40,210 [Laughter] 45 00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,177 No! 46 00:01:41,277 --> 00:01:42,376 Hya! 47 00:01:42,476 --> 00:01:43,177 Ya. 48 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:53,246 (SINGING) Put on my best dress, baby. 49 00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:56,180 I put on the perfume you'll like. 50 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,915 We're gonna forget about this day of work, 51 00:02:00,015 --> 00:02:03,748 Cause we're going out dancing tonight. 52 00:02:03,848 --> 00:02:09,650 I don't have all of the answers, but I know what's wrong 53 00:02:09,750 --> 00:02:11,617 And what's right. 54 00:02:11,717 --> 00:02:12,618 And when I get happy... 55 00:02:12,718 --> 00:02:14,084 Bill, table number 11's pissed off. 56 00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:15,583 Put some more vodka in the Martini. 57 00:02:15,683 --> 00:02:18,518 (SINGING) Got to start dancing tonight. 58 00:02:18,618 --> 00:02:20,484 Waitress! 59 00:02:20,584 --> 00:02:24,453 There's a splinter in my cottage cheese. 60 00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:27,887 Well, at these prices, what did you expect, the whole cottage? 61 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,322 MAN (ON SPEAKER): Listen, [inaudible]. 62 00:02:32,422 --> 00:02:35,456 We have a [inaudible] salad on table number 11. 63 00:02:35,556 --> 00:02:38,655 Uh, the salad is go for dressing insertion. 64 00:02:38,755 --> 00:02:42,257 [Spitting] 65 00:02:42,357 --> 00:02:43,057 Looks delicious. 66 00:02:48,326 --> 00:02:49,024 Mmm. 67 00:02:56,058 --> 00:02:58,759 Oh. 68 00:02:58,859 --> 00:03:00,328 Get two [inaudible]. 69 00:03:00,428 --> 00:03:02,594 Will you just look at these hands? 70 00:03:02,694 --> 00:03:06,728 I don't know why you insist on using such a strong detergent. 71 00:03:06,828 --> 00:03:11,629 That's because our brand makes your whites whiter. 72 00:03:11,729 --> 00:03:13,197 Now get back to work. 73 00:03:13,297 --> 00:03:13,995 Excuse me, miss. 74 00:03:14,096 --> 00:03:16,132 Are you free? 75 00:03:16,232 --> 00:03:19,097 No, but I'm not very expensive, either. 76 00:03:19,197 --> 00:03:21,564 (SINGING) I've got to be good. 77 00:03:21,664 --> 00:03:23,566 I'm only making ends meet. 78 00:03:23,666 --> 00:03:26,532 Oh, lord, [inaudible]. 79 00:03:26,632 --> 00:03:33,168 When I hear music, I know that I am saved. 80 00:03:33,268 --> 00:03:33,968 Oh, my. 81 00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:45,870 MAN (ON SPEAKER): [inaudible] table number 11. 82 00:03:45,970 --> 00:03:48,538 [Inaudible] control. 83 00:03:48,638 --> 00:03:49,337 Oh. 84 00:04:02,306 --> 00:04:05,741 (SINGING): Well, now, now, now, now, now, baby. 85 00:04:12,942 --> 00:04:13,643 Hey. 86 00:04:13,743 --> 00:04:15,643 How was the audition? 87 00:04:15,743 --> 00:04:18,210 Great, but my boobs had all the lines. 88 00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:19,245 Ooh. 89 00:04:19,345 --> 00:04:22,344 It must have been a helluva delivery. 90 00:04:22,444 --> 00:04:23,811 Thanks. 91 00:04:23,911 --> 00:04:24,812 Mmm. 92 00:04:24,910 --> 00:04:26,779 Hey, I'm working, remember? 93 00:04:26,879 --> 00:04:29,747 You wanna come over to my house and play after work? 94 00:04:29,847 --> 00:04:30,712 Sorry. 95 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,746 No time. 96 00:04:32,846 --> 00:04:33,880 Why? 97 00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:36,781 I've got more auditions tonight. 98 00:04:36,881 --> 00:04:39,382 You know, if you got paid for auditioning, you'd be rich. 99 00:04:39,482 --> 00:04:42,015 MAN (ON SPEAKER): Reminder, only non-dressed materials are 100 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:44,816 Included in any salad format. 101 00:04:44,916 --> 00:04:47,251 [Whistling] 102 00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:48,383 Mature Teen Magazine. 103 00:04:48,483 --> 00:04:50,118 May I help you? 104 00:04:50,216 --> 00:04:52,084 Uh, excuse me. 105 00:04:52,185 --> 00:04:54,252 Uh, I'm Jennifer Martin. 106 00:04:54,352 --> 00:04:56,218 I won second prize in the short story contest 107 00:04:56,318 --> 00:04:58,785 That Mature Teen Magazine sponsored. 108 00:04:58,885 --> 00:04:59,986 Oh, Ms. Martin. 109 00:05:00,086 --> 00:05:00,852 Go right in. 110 00:05:00,952 --> 00:05:02,320 Ms. Cully's expecting you. 111 00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:03,119 OK. 112 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:03,919 Thank you. 113 00:05:04,019 --> 00:05:05,919 Uh, [inaudible]? 114 00:05:06,019 --> 00:05:07,688 Thanks. 115 00:05:07,788 --> 00:05:08,854 [Inaudible] clouds and the sunset 116 00:05:08,954 --> 00:05:10,987 Looked like instant mashed potatoes 117 00:05:11,087 --> 00:05:13,188 And Momma's electric blender. 118 00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:15,955 I only wrote what I saw back home in Indiana. 119 00:05:16,055 --> 00:05:18,090 We can't use it. 120 00:05:18,189 --> 00:05:19,590 Not use my story? 121 00:05:19,690 --> 00:05:23,223 I said I liked your style, not your subject matter. 122 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,458 Nobody's going to slap down $2 for a story about Indiana. 123 00:05:26,558 --> 00:05:27,459 Oh, shit. 124 00:05:27,559 --> 00:05:29,559 My masseuse didn't come again today. 125 00:05:29,659 --> 00:05:31,359 Jeff, come over here while we talk. 126 00:05:31,459 --> 00:05:32,293 Help me get these kinks out. 127 00:05:32,393 --> 00:05:33,492 But I don't know... 128 00:05:33,592 --> 00:05:34,293 Oh. 129 00:05:34,393 --> 00:05:36,460 Oh, come on. 130 00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:40,128 People want to know what's going down in New York and LA. 131 00:05:40,228 --> 00:05:42,395 Last month we ran a feature on where 132 00:05:42,495 --> 00:05:44,128 To find single men in New York. 133 00:05:44,228 --> 00:05:46,728 Our magazine sales soared. 134 00:05:46,828 --> 00:05:50,497 I want you to do the follow-up... Actually go on a man hunt, 135 00:05:50,597 --> 00:05:52,330 And use this article as a guide. 136 00:05:52,430 --> 00:05:55,231 You want me to go and pick up men? 137 00:05:55,331 --> 00:05:57,165 Not just pick them up. 138 00:05:57,265 --> 00:05:59,498 You're going to write an article about catching 139 00:05:59,598 --> 00:06:00,866 A man in the big city. 140 00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:01,931 But I'm no good around people. 141 00:06:02,031 --> 00:06:03,500 That's why I started writing. 142 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,799 I mean, I get so nervous, even my shadow uses a deodorant. 143 00:06:06,899 --> 00:06:07,733 Ah! 144 00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:10,301 That's the whole point. 145 00:06:10,401 --> 00:06:14,934 If you can find a good man using this guide, anyone can. 146 00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:17,369 I've even got a cover for you... a disguise. 147 00:06:17,469 --> 00:06:19,402 You're going to be working the type of job 148 00:06:19,502 --> 00:06:22,303 That the average small town girl would take in New York, 149 00:06:22,403 --> 00:06:23,103 As a waitress. 150 00:06:23,204 --> 00:06:24,870 Working in a restaurant? 151 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:27,771 That means meeting new people every day... 152 00:06:27,871 --> 00:06:31,206 Oh, and touching all that food, the roast beef, and... 153 00:06:31,306 --> 00:06:33,239 Martin, this is the chance of a lifetime. 154 00:06:33,339 --> 00:06:34,039 Your wardrobe. 155 00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:40,707 Good luck, Martin. 156 00:06:40,807 --> 00:06:44,674 This city is full of men waiting for you. 157 00:06:44,774 --> 00:06:46,909 But what will I say to them? 158 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:50,108 What every girl has said to ever man 159 00:06:50,209 --> 00:06:52,542 Since the beginning of time. 160 00:06:52,642 --> 00:06:54,478 Oh, I have a headache. 161 00:06:54,578 --> 00:06:55,543 Headache? 162 00:06:55,643 --> 00:06:56,811 Young lady, did I hear you say headache? 163 00:06:56,911 --> 00:06:57,610 Here. 164 00:06:57,710 --> 00:06:59,579 Hold on just a second, here. 165 00:06:59,677 --> 00:07:00,911 Here. 166 00:07:01,011 --> 00:07:03,512 Take two of these, don't work too hard, 167 00:07:03,612 --> 00:07:05,712 And, uh... [laugh] call me in the morning. 168 00:07:05,812 --> 00:07:06,846 Thanks. 169 00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:08,346 I guess it's first-day jitters or something. 170 00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:17,847 You're gonna have to pay for the, uh... uh, [inaudible]. 171 00:07:20,915 --> 00:07:21,816 I'm so sorry. 172 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:32,219 Ahh! 173 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,187 [Commotion] 174 00:07:37,785 --> 00:07:41,353 That'll teach you to break a date with me, 175 00:07:41,453 --> 00:07:42,821 [Inaudible] Simpson! 176 00:07:42,919 --> 00:07:45,088 Put an insect bomb in the house mother's feminine hygiene 177 00:07:45,189 --> 00:07:49,622 Spray, filling Dean Carlisle's [inaudible] with sand, 178 00:07:49,722 --> 00:07:51,622 Plotting to blow up our sewage plant 179 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,355 By organizing an everyone flush your toilet 180 00:07:53,455 --> 00:07:55,357 At the same time day. 181 00:07:55,457 --> 00:07:58,690 And now, this... Fire-hosing a boy's dorm. 182 00:07:58,790 --> 00:08:02,492 Mr. Cavendish, we must ask you to take your daughter home. 183 00:08:02,592 --> 00:08:03,691 So I'm a little sparky. 184 00:08:03,791 --> 00:08:06,292 Lindsay, the [inaudible] was spanky. 185 00:08:06,392 --> 00:08:08,558 You are dangerous! 186 00:08:08,658 --> 00:08:10,427 Does this mean you won't send me to Vassar? 187 00:08:10,527 --> 00:08:13,027 I couldn't get you into Vassar with a crowbar! 188 00:08:13,127 --> 00:08:14,026 MAN (SHOUTING): Hey hot pants! 189 00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,328 When you coming back? 190 00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,060 What would your poor mother say, God rest her soul? 191 00:08:17,161 --> 00:08:18,560 [Inaudible] this many years. 192 00:08:18,660 --> 00:08:20,095 Well, at least I'm consistent. 193 00:08:20,196 --> 00:08:22,095 Oh, young lady, I've been thinking 194 00:08:22,196 --> 00:08:23,695 About this a long time. 195 00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:26,462 And now I've finally decided... I'm putting you to work 196 00:08:26,562 --> 00:08:28,629 In one of my restaurants. Work? 197 00:08:28,729 --> 00:08:30,298 Don't go any further, Father. 198 00:08:30,398 --> 00:08:31,463 Oh, no, Daddy. 199 00:08:31,563 --> 00:08:32,664 You wouldn't. 200 00:08:32,764 --> 00:08:34,198 You wouldn't do what what you always said to do. 201 00:08:34,298 --> 00:08:34,998 Oh, no, no. 202 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,231 Please, please, please. 203 00:08:36,331 --> 00:08:38,433 You wouldn't really make me be a... 204 00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:40,099 Waitress. 205 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:40,900 Oh god. 206 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:50,735 [Alarm buzzing] 207 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:56,802 [Horn honking] 208 00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:59,369 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): The Mature Teen Guide to Picking Up Men. 209 00:08:59,469 --> 00:09:01,070 Hint Number One. 210 00:09:01,171 --> 00:09:02,704 New York is a sports festival. 211 00:09:02,804 --> 00:09:04,270 Don't dog it, girl. 212 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:07,671 Find your modern man at the crack of dawn, jogging. 213 00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:09,638 Ask him to run with you. 214 00:09:09,738 --> 00:09:11,607 It's so dull doing it all alone. 215 00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:22,107 - Hi. - Hi. 216 00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:23,309 - How are you today? - Oh, fine. 217 00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:24,109 Good. 218 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:24,941 How about a jog? 219 00:09:25,041 --> 00:09:27,209 It's so dull doing it all alone. 220 00:09:27,309 --> 00:09:30,910 Oh. [Laugh] I never do it before breakfast. 221 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:35,777 On second thought, I'd love to run with you! 222 00:09:35,877 --> 00:09:38,812 Have you been, uh, jogging for a long time? 223 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:42,013 Oh, yeah, sure. 224 00:09:42,113 --> 00:09:44,447 I love a good jog. 225 00:09:44,547 --> 00:09:45,713 How about yourself? 226 00:09:45,813 --> 00:09:48,947 Oh, a little over a year now, since just after my wife 227 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,079 Left me. 228 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:52,015 It's been a real strain on me. 229 00:09:52,115 --> 00:09:52,847 The jogging? 230 00:09:52,947 --> 00:09:53,648 No. 231 00:09:53,748 --> 00:09:54,716 My divorce. 232 00:09:54,816 --> 00:09:57,681 But let's not talk about it... my divorce. 233 00:09:57,781 --> 00:09:59,883 It... that's why I started running in the first place, 234 00:09:59,981 --> 00:10:03,950 As a kind of therapy to get my mind off my wife Janet. 235 00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:07,583 You see, I... I couldn't stop thinking about her. 236 00:10:07,683 --> 00:10:08,518 How about now? 237 00:10:08,618 --> 00:10:11,084 Are you over Janet? Janet! 238 00:10:11,185 --> 00:10:13,352 Don't you ever mention the name Janet! 239 00:10:13,452 --> 00:10:15,852 I don't want to ever hear you say the name Janet to me again. 240 00:10:15,952 --> 00:10:17,919 Don't you ever, ever, ever, ever, 241 00:10:18,019 --> 00:10:20,220 Ever, ever say Janet again. 242 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,587 Janet. 243 00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:24,788 I'll never forget the first time I saw her with another man. 244 00:10:24,888 --> 00:10:28,054 It was [inaudible]. 245 00:10:28,154 --> 00:10:29,256 You have an audition on Sundays? 246 00:10:29,356 --> 00:10:30,357 I don't believe it. 247 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:31,389 You know, if you'd move in with me already, 248 00:10:31,489 --> 00:10:32,657 We'd have all the time in the world. 249 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:36,224 Now, you know I can't afford to share your rent. 250 00:10:36,324 --> 00:10:37,425 Who would share rent? 251 00:10:37,525 --> 00:10:38,890 I told you I'd pay your share of the rent. 252 00:10:38,990 --> 00:10:39,925 Look. 253 00:10:40,025 --> 00:10:41,491 I want to be free to live my own life, 254 00:10:41,591 --> 00:10:43,725 And not live my life for free. 255 00:10:43,825 --> 00:10:45,327 Miss, there's a fly in my soup. 256 00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:46,125 Uh... 257 00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:47,092 Will you please move in? 258 00:10:47,193 --> 00:10:48,426 Nuh uh. 259 00:10:48,526 --> 00:10:49,227 Veggies? 260 00:10:49,327 --> 00:10:50,228 No thank you. 261 00:10:50,328 --> 00:10:51,193 Why not? 262 00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:52,694 Just give me one good reason why not. 263 00:10:52,794 --> 00:10:54,160 I don't like veggies. 264 00:10:54,261 --> 00:10:56,661 I want you as a lover, and not a landlord. 265 00:10:56,761 --> 00:10:58,263 Miss, there's a fly in my soup. 266 00:10:58,361 --> 00:10:59,061 All right. 267 00:10:59,161 --> 00:11:00,563 I'll move in with you. 268 00:11:00,663 --> 00:11:02,930 Hey, [inaudible], right? 269 00:11:03,030 --> 00:11:04,763 Did I forget anything? 270 00:11:04,863 --> 00:11:06,996 As a matter of fact, there's a fly in my soup. 271 00:11:16,097 --> 00:11:21,233 [Gargling noise] 272 00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:23,699 Oh, marvelous, marvelous. Just fabulous, sugar. 273 00:11:23,799 --> 00:11:24,567 Just fabulous. 274 00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:25,535 WOMAN: Miss Andrea Morgan. 275 00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:31,468 Heathcliff, I've nev... 276 00:11:31,568 --> 00:11:32,569 DIRECTOR: Oh, next. 277 00:11:32,669 --> 00:11:33,470 MAN: Miss Hiney La Roux. 278 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:36,469 I am in a very good mood today. 279 00:11:36,569 --> 00:11:38,871 I just found out I'm getting federal funds. 280 00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:43,672 My body's been declared a disaster area years ago. 281 00:11:43,772 --> 00:11:44,638 [Inaudible] 282 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:45,772 Lovely, sweetheart. OK. 283 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:46,638 Too much, sugar. 284 00:11:46,738 --> 00:11:48,806 This production is about living. 285 00:11:48,906 --> 00:11:53,507 The first thing we're going to do is undress. 286 00:11:57,073 --> 00:12:01,209 And we're going to take this chicken fat 287 00:12:01,309 --> 00:12:09,010 And we're going to rub it all over our bodies. 288 00:12:09,110 --> 00:12:12,810 [Gagging] [coughing] 289 00:12:12,910 --> 00:12:14,011 [Inaudible]. 290 00:12:14,111 --> 00:12:14,810 Sorry. 291 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:16,546 I gotta see your Union card. 292 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:23,380 Beat it. 293 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:30,214 [Laugh] 294 00:12:31,282 --> 00:12:32,848 [Inaudible]. 295 00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:34,149 Look. 296 00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:35,849 I'll double up as crew and help with the sets for free. 297 00:12:35,949 --> 00:12:36,883 No, Ms. Morgan. 298 00:12:36,983 --> 00:12:39,150 I'll sell popcorn at the intermission. 299 00:12:39,251 --> 00:12:40,616 No, Ms. Morgan. 300 00:12:40,716 --> 00:12:41,984 I'll guarantee your losses and back 301 00:12:42,084 --> 00:12:43,584 Your next three productions! 302 00:12:43,684 --> 00:12:44,916 No, Ms. Morgan. 303 00:12:45,016 --> 00:12:47,386 I'll wash your socks at night and make love to your wife 304 00:12:47,484 --> 00:12:49,118 And have her babies! 305 00:12:49,219 --> 00:12:50,084 No, Ms. Morgan. 306 00:12:50,184 --> 00:12:51,052 Oh. 307 00:12:51,152 --> 00:12:52,220 Does this mean I don't get the part? 308 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,054 [Laughter] 309 00:12:55,152 --> 00:12:56,019 Hey, lady. 310 00:12:56,119 --> 00:12:57,919 Can't you take a hint? 311 00:12:58,019 --> 00:12:59,421 The answer is... 312 00:12:59,521 --> 00:13:00,587 - No! - No. 313 00:13:00,687 --> 00:13:01,455 - No. - No. 314 00:13:01,555 --> 00:13:02,256 No, Ms. Mason. 315 00:13:02,356 --> 00:13:03,054 No. 316 00:13:03,154 --> 00:13:03,888 No! 317 00:13:03,988 --> 00:13:04,856 No. 318 00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:05,655 No! 319 00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:16,023 All right, all right, all right. 320 00:13:16,123 --> 00:13:17,725 Hey, did you know what time it is? 321 00:13:17,825 --> 00:13:19,759 If you want to get turned down for as many roles 322 00:13:19,859 --> 00:13:22,526 As I did today, you gotta put in overtime. 323 00:13:22,626 --> 00:13:24,960 Oh, honey. 324 00:13:25,060 --> 00:13:27,927 Jerry, I need a new approach to this business. 325 00:13:28,027 --> 00:13:31,461 Yeah, so do I. I go make this the number 326 00:13:31,561 --> 00:13:33,927 One restaurant and [inaudible]. 327 00:13:34,027 --> 00:13:36,194 My reward is he [inaudible] his lousy daughter 328 00:13:36,295 --> 00:13:37,429 On me this morning. 329 00:13:37,529 --> 00:13:38,762 Then they get 60 veal chops I never ordered, and... 330 00:13:38,862 --> 00:13:41,696 I've just been going through the motion. 331 00:13:41,796 --> 00:13:43,629 You really care. 332 00:13:43,729 --> 00:13:45,231 My next motion is [inaudible]. 333 00:13:45,331 --> 00:13:47,565 Well Jerry, help me. 334 00:13:47,665 --> 00:13:48,964 Oh, Andrea, please. 335 00:13:49,064 --> 00:13:49,765 I'm tired. 336 00:13:49,865 --> 00:13:50,899 See? 337 00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,665 T-I-R-E-D. Oh, come on, honey. 338 00:13:53,765 --> 00:13:54,666 You do this every day. 339 00:13:54,766 --> 00:13:55,867 What else can you do? 340 00:13:55,967 --> 00:14:00,167 Well, for one thing, I'm through making the rounds. 341 00:14:00,268 --> 00:14:03,068 I'm going to go after one big part. 342 00:14:03,168 --> 00:14:04,601 Did you say a big part? 343 00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,268 Funny you should say big part. 344 00:14:06,368 --> 00:14:08,901 I was reading not more than 10 minutes ago right... right here, 345 00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:10,202 Andrea, in your show business. 346 00:14:10,303 --> 00:14:11,435 We have big parts. Everybody... 347 00:14:11,535 --> 00:14:12,803 Not some crummy walk. 348 00:14:12,903 --> 00:14:15,804 I'm so far up Broadway, I've got to get a visa to go to work, 349 00:14:15,904 --> 00:14:17,737 But a part worth going after. 350 00:14:17,837 --> 00:14:20,505 I'm going to focus on one part... one part. 351 00:14:20,605 --> 00:14:24,772 And I'm going to get that part. 352 00:14:24,872 --> 00:14:27,172 What are you talking about now, huh? 353 00:14:27,273 --> 00:14:29,172 Not any other [inaudible] to a man. 354 00:14:29,273 --> 00:14:30,006 Ow! 355 00:14:30,106 --> 00:14:31,475 You're nuts. 356 00:14:31,573 --> 00:14:32,440 Oh, sweet Romeo. 357 00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:33,275 Oh my god. 358 00:14:33,375 --> 00:14:34,374 Those were my favorite hairs. 359 00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,341 Be some other name. 360 00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,276 I got those for Christmas. 361 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:37,241 What's in a name? 362 00:14:37,341 --> 00:14:38,376 That which would [inaudible]... 363 00:14:38,476 --> 00:14:39,174 Hey. 364 00:14:39,275 --> 00:14:40,409 Hey [inaudible]. 365 00:14:40,509 --> 00:14:41,908 Would you just stop it? 366 00:14:42,008 --> 00:14:44,242 Don't you think you're overreacting a little bit, huh? 367 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,443 I mean, how is all of this craziness 368 00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:46,809 Going to help solve your problem? 369 00:14:46,909 --> 00:14:49,643 But It's not my only problem. 370 00:14:49,743 --> 00:14:51,111 Great, Andrea. 371 00:14:51,211 --> 00:14:54,246 What else did you wake me up to tell me? 372 00:14:54,346 --> 00:14:59,812 Auditioning makes me horny. 373 00:14:59,912 --> 00:15:02,446 Now that's a problem I can help you with. 374 00:15:02,546 --> 00:15:04,382 Come here, you little [inaudible]. 375 00:15:04,482 --> 00:15:05,681 [Laugh] 376 00:15:05,781 --> 00:15:07,146 Oh. 377 00:15:07,247 --> 00:15:08,615 Mmm. 378 00:15:08,715 --> 00:15:10,081 Yeah. 379 00:15:10,181 --> 00:15:11,549 Mmm. 380 00:15:11,649 --> 00:15:12,882 Does thou love me? 381 00:15:12,982 --> 00:15:14,815 I know thou [inaudible]. 382 00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:18,450 I love when draweth my mighty sword. 383 00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:19,485 [Laugh] 384 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,284 Ooh. 385 00:15:20,384 --> 00:15:21,385 Ahh. 386 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:22,950 If love is [inaudible], they say love laugh. 387 00:15:23,050 --> 00:15:23,751 Oh. 388 00:15:23,851 --> 00:15:24,586 I laugh. 389 00:15:24,686 --> 00:15:27,485 Oh, gentle Romeo. 390 00:15:27,585 --> 00:15:29,820 If thou does love, pronounce it faithfully. 391 00:15:29,918 --> 00:15:34,187 MAN: Oh, I love thou. 392 00:15:34,288 --> 00:15:36,020 Uh oh. 393 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,489 Andrea. 394 00:15:37,587 --> 00:15:39,855 Andy... [whistles] hello there? 395 00:15:39,955 --> 00:15:40,854 Huh? 396 00:15:40,954 --> 00:15:44,290 I may have forgotten my royal shield. 397 00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:45,755 Ugh. 398 00:15:45,855 --> 00:15:49,257 Or if thou thinks thy I am too quickly won, 399 00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:54,091 I'll frown and be perverse and say thee may, and thus my love 400 00:15:54,191 --> 00:15:58,292 For Romeo be shalt. [laugh] I long 401 00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:01,326 To take thy wanger in my mouth. 402 00:16:01,426 --> 00:16:03,693 What the hell kind of Shakespeare is... 403 00:16:03,793 --> 00:16:04,660 [Sucking noise] 404 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,659 Oh, god. 405 00:16:05,759 --> 00:16:07,127 I love Shakespeare. 406 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:13,628 MAN (ON RADIO): It is now [inaudible]. 407 00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:15,761 All employees will synchronize watches. 408 00:16:15,861 --> 00:16:16,796 Excuse me, Jennifer? 409 00:16:16,896 --> 00:16:17,763 Do you have the time? 410 00:16:17,863 --> 00:16:23,963 My Japanese... thank you, Jennifer. 411 00:16:24,063 --> 00:16:24,964 MAN (ON RADIO): Dessert alert. 412 00:16:25,064 --> 00:16:25,930 Dessert alert. 413 00:16:26,030 --> 00:16:27,799 Menu control. 414 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:29,231 Menu control. 415 00:16:29,332 --> 00:16:31,865 Extend recovery effort to all parts of the main cabin. 416 00:16:31,965 --> 00:16:32,800 [Inaudible]. 417 00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:34,666 Did I ever show you Big Mo's rod? 418 00:16:34,766 --> 00:16:37,133 [Laugh] Take a look at this. 419 00:16:37,233 --> 00:16:40,134 I don't want anybody else to see. 420 00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:45,603 [Laugh] [inaudible]. 421 00:16:45,703 --> 00:16:46,602 [Laugh] 422 00:16:46,702 --> 00:16:48,103 Cute. 423 00:16:48,203 --> 00:16:49,269 - [laugh] - Small- 424 00:16:49,369 --> 00:16:50,069 Yeah. 425 00:16:50,169 --> 00:16:52,069 But cute. 426 00:16:52,169 --> 00:16:55,838 Now, shithead, the salads. 427 00:16:55,938 --> 00:16:58,770 No sense of humor, that girl. 428 00:16:58,870 --> 00:16:59,771 This. 429 00:16:59,871 --> 00:17:00,772 This. 430 00:17:00,872 --> 00:17:01,571 Out. 431 00:17:01,671 --> 00:17:02,706 Out. 432 00:17:02,806 --> 00:17:03,938 All right, Lindsay. 433 00:17:04,038 --> 00:17:04,739 Your dad wants you to learn how to run the kitchen. 434 00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:05,907 Let's go. 435 00:17:06,007 --> 00:17:07,673 As he says, the customer will forgive anything 436 00:17:07,773 --> 00:17:09,072 As long as the food is good. 437 00:17:09,172 --> 00:17:11,008 Now, I'm going to introduce you to Pievault, our chef. 438 00:17:11,108 --> 00:17:11,807 Pievault? 439 00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:12,941 What kind of name is that? 440 00:17:13,041 --> 00:17:14,240 I don't know, Russian or something. 441 00:17:14,341 --> 00:17:15,409 Listen, he's a good chef, but he's 442 00:17:15,509 --> 00:17:17,074 Dangerous when he gets drunk. 443 00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:20,343 So no matter what you do, you do not, under any circumstances, 444 00:17:20,443 --> 00:17:21,477 Give him a drink. 445 00:17:21,577 --> 00:17:22,276 Who, me? 446 00:17:22,376 --> 00:17:24,144 I wouldn't. 447 00:17:24,242 --> 00:17:26,976 [Inaudible], my little Americanski. 448 00:17:27,076 --> 00:17:32,044 [Inaudible] to find a beautiful woman who understands 449 00:17:32,144 --> 00:17:35,413 The soul of a Russian artist. 450 00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,346 And drinks like one, too. 451 00:17:37,446 --> 00:17:38,280 Hey. 452 00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,547 Hi, [inaudible]. 453 00:17:40,647 --> 00:17:42,514 Where are my pickles? 454 00:17:42,614 --> 00:17:43,981 Table number 11 is screaming. 455 00:17:44,081 --> 00:17:44,814 Tell table number 11. 456 00:17:44,914 --> 00:17:46,482 They are not rushing great art. 457 00:17:46,582 --> 00:17:48,982 I need a chicken, Pievault, on truck hold. 458 00:17:49,082 --> 00:17:51,983 Don't forget. 459 00:17:52,081 --> 00:17:52,982 Don't forget? 460 00:17:53,082 --> 00:17:53,783 What, I am Mr. Memory? 461 00:17:55,750 --> 00:17:56,451 Boy. 462 00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:57,583 Yes, sir? 463 00:17:57,683 --> 00:17:59,118 Bring me a [inaudible]. 464 00:17:59,218 --> 00:18:03,385 Jennifer, you have to keep this freezer absolutely spotless. 465 00:18:03,485 --> 00:18:04,720 Oh, sugar. 466 00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:07,352 It's like eating honeydew melons in the middle of February. 467 00:18:07,452 --> 00:18:08,353 Ah! 468 00:18:08,453 --> 00:18:09,153 Hey. 469 00:18:09,253 --> 00:18:10,353 Hey. 470 00:18:10,453 --> 00:18:12,355 The [inaudible] is here! 471 00:18:12,453 --> 00:18:13,821 Hey! 472 00:18:13,921 --> 00:18:15,321 We're saved. 473 00:18:15,421 --> 00:18:17,821 I told you if we took off our clothes something would happen. 474 00:18:17,921 --> 00:18:19,323 [Inaudible] 475 00:18:19,423 --> 00:18:20,788 You [inaudible]. 476 00:18:20,888 --> 00:18:21,789 No, [inaudible]. 477 00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:23,289 You'll never believe what happened. 478 00:18:23,389 --> 00:18:24,690 Oh! 479 00:18:24,790 --> 00:18:25,723 Oh! 480 00:18:25,823 --> 00:18:28,524 What is this turtle doing in my soup? 481 00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:29,691 The [inaudible]. 482 00:18:29,791 --> 00:18:30,790 Oh! 483 00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:32,492 What do you do to a turtle with three balls? 484 00:18:32,592 --> 00:18:34,659 Walk 'em and [inaudible]. 485 00:18:34,759 --> 00:18:37,159 Might I trouble you for a little wine? 486 00:18:37,259 --> 00:18:40,726 Oh, no trouble at all, sir. 487 00:18:40,826 --> 00:18:44,561 Oh, I'm so fed up. 488 00:18:44,661 --> 00:18:46,494 I... this shit is driving me crazy. 489 00:18:46,594 --> 00:18:48,428 I just want to... 490 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:49,629 There are no more chickens. 491 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,128 No more chickens? 492 00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:54,863 [Inaudible] chicken Pievault with no more chickens, 493 00:18:54,963 --> 00:18:58,031 Unless, of course, I give them something better. 494 00:18:58,129 --> 00:18:59,497 [Inaudible] 495 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,663 [Scream] 496 00:19:00,763 --> 00:19:01,464 [Inaudible]. 497 00:19:05,764 --> 00:19:06,598 It's smelling like chicken. 498 00:19:06,698 --> 00:19:07,966 Yes, sir. 499 00:19:08,066 --> 00:19:08,832 Wine, please. 500 00:19:08,932 --> 00:19:09,833 Wine. 501 00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:12,166 Well, what kind of wine would you like? 502 00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:13,466 A nice French one. 503 00:19:13,566 --> 00:19:14,266 Yes, sir. 504 00:19:14,367 --> 00:19:15,067 A French one. 505 00:19:15,167 --> 00:19:16,734 [Crying] 506 00:19:16,834 --> 00:19:17,735 Oh, no. 507 00:19:17,835 --> 00:19:18,500 [Inaudible]. 508 00:19:40,540 --> 00:19:41,905 Go back to work! 509 00:19:51,874 --> 00:19:53,242 [Inaudible] some cowboy [inaudible]. 510 00:19:53,343 --> 00:19:54,241 Come on, little buddy. 511 00:19:54,342 --> 00:19:56,209 Come up! 512 00:19:56,310 --> 00:19:57,709 Yahoo! 513 00:19:57,809 --> 00:20:02,777 Now I am going to throw you my famous sauce tomato. 514 00:20:05,511 --> 00:20:09,645 First is adding a little hot sauce... 515 00:20:09,745 --> 00:20:12,612 Just a hit of hot sauce. 516 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:13,980 Only a spoonful. 517 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,713 I don't fool around. 518 00:20:17,813 --> 00:20:21,382 Then a dash of salt. 519 00:20:21,482 --> 00:20:25,782 [Inaudible], I just lost my tip from table number 11, 520 00:20:25,882 --> 00:20:27,782 And I'm taking it out of your salary. 521 00:20:27,882 --> 00:20:28,916 My salary? 522 00:20:29,016 --> 00:20:32,783 You're not touching my salary, you [inaudible]! 523 00:20:32,883 --> 00:20:34,750 Sir, aren't you having any wine with your dinner? 524 00:20:34,850 --> 00:20:35,551 Oh, no, no, no. 525 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:36,752 Oh, you must. 526 00:20:36,852 --> 00:20:38,385 You must have some wine with your dinner. 527 00:20:38,485 --> 00:20:39,353 Nope. No wine. 528 00:20:39,453 --> 00:20:40,318 Oh, I insist, please. 529 00:20:40,418 --> 00:20:41,118 The management will be very upset. 530 00:20:41,218 --> 00:20:42,685 Please. It's on the house. 531 00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:43,653 Really. Really? 532 00:20:43,753 --> 00:20:44,785 - Yes. - Yes? 533 00:20:44,885 --> 00:20:47,619 Well, in that case, I'll have some French... no. 534 00:20:47,719 --> 00:20:48,454 No, no. 535 00:20:48,554 --> 00:20:50,053 I'm not falling for that again. 536 00:20:50,153 --> 00:20:50,887 No. 537 00:20:50,987 --> 00:20:54,221 I'll have a nice domestic wine. 538 00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:55,187 Yes, sir. 539 00:20:55,287 --> 00:20:56,121 Coming right up. 540 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:56,922 Oh. 541 00:21:01,156 --> 00:21:01,857 Vodka. 542 00:21:01,957 --> 00:21:02,822 Vodka! 543 00:21:02,922 --> 00:21:04,257 [Inaudible]. 544 00:21:04,358 --> 00:21:05,523 Of course. [Inaudible]. 545 00:21:05,623 --> 00:21:06,624 No, no, no, no. 546 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:09,291 Vodka's for us, my little [inaudible]. 547 00:21:09,392 --> 00:21:10,290 Where is my glass? 548 00:21:10,391 --> 00:21:13,291 Look, you potato-headed hash slinger. 549 00:21:13,392 --> 00:21:16,059 If I don't get that [inaudible] nowski, 550 00:21:16,159 --> 00:21:19,561 You're going back to Burger King, where you belong! 551 00:21:19,661 --> 00:21:20,893 Burger King? 552 00:21:20,993 --> 00:21:23,361 You call Pievault the great chef potato head? 553 00:21:23,461 --> 00:21:24,362 I give you potato head. 554 00:21:24,462 --> 00:21:26,328 I give you potato face. 555 00:21:26,428 --> 00:21:27,796 I make you potato box. 556 00:21:27,894 --> 00:21:28,762 I make you everything. 557 00:21:28,862 --> 00:21:30,828 The boss will hear about this. 558 00:21:30,928 --> 00:21:34,063 Don't worry, Pievault. My father owns this place. 559 00:21:34,163 --> 00:21:36,464 I love [inaudible]. 560 00:21:36,564 --> 00:21:37,264 But you? 561 00:21:37,365 --> 00:21:38,129 I never liked! 562 00:21:38,229 --> 00:21:38,930 Yes, sir. 563 00:21:39,030 --> 00:21:40,298 Your domestic wine. 564 00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:41,264 Oh. 565 00:21:41,365 --> 00:21:42,065 Thank you. 566 00:21:42,165 --> 00:21:44,131 Thank you, yes. 567 00:21:44,231 --> 00:21:47,232 Oh, (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) you want me to do the dishes? 568 00:21:47,333 --> 00:21:48,666 I hate doing dishes. Oh, no. 569 00:21:48,766 --> 00:21:49,767 No. Not again. 570 00:21:49,867 --> 00:21:51,232 And windows. I never do windows. 571 00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:04,636 You [inaudible], [inaudible] ready to server. 572 00:22:04,736 --> 00:22:07,771 And with your meal, our chef's special sauce, 573 00:22:07,871 --> 00:22:09,270 Tomato [inaudible]. 574 00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:10,738 Thank you. 575 00:22:10,838 --> 00:22:13,704 Hey, this isn't swordfish. 576 00:22:13,804 --> 00:22:14,672 It's [inaudible]. 577 00:22:28,642 --> 00:22:33,941 [Choking] [gagging] 578 00:22:34,041 --> 00:22:38,344 (SINGING) Tulip or turnip, rosebud or rhubarb, 579 00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:41,710 Filet, or plain beef stew. 580 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:45,912 Tell me, tell me, tell me a [inaudible]. 581 00:22:46,012 --> 00:22:49,579 Oh, what am I to do? 582 00:22:49,679 --> 00:22:50,513 [Choking] 583 00:22:50,613 --> 00:22:53,246 It's needing something. 584 00:22:53,347 --> 00:22:54,346 You're right, Lisa. 585 00:22:54,446 --> 00:22:55,547 It needs just a little more Tabasco sauce. 586 00:23:38,122 --> 00:23:39,724 Lisa, am I boring you? 587 00:23:39,824 --> 00:23:40,523 Come on, Lisa. 588 00:23:40,623 --> 00:23:42,523 Wake up. [Inaudible]. 589 00:23:42,623 --> 00:23:43,524 Come on. [Inaudible]. 590 00:23:48,592 --> 00:23:49,993 [Inaudible] earlier. 591 00:23:50,091 --> 00:23:51,959 [Inaudible] 592 00:23:52,059 --> 00:23:55,459 (SINGING) Filet, or plain beef stew. 593 00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:59,928 Tell me, tell me, tell me, [inaudible]. 594 00:24:00,028 --> 00:24:02,429 Oh, what am I to do? 595 00:24:09,797 --> 00:24:11,062 [Screaming] 596 00:24:11,162 --> 00:24:14,898 Home, home on the gas range, where the deer and the antelope 597 00:24:14,998 --> 00:24:16,464 Is [inaudible]. 598 00:24:16,564 --> 00:24:20,332 And now, I am making my piece de resistance. 599 00:24:20,433 --> 00:24:21,298 What's that? 600 00:24:21,399 --> 00:24:22,900 A really popular dish. 601 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:23,699 Ooh. 602 00:24:23,799 --> 00:24:26,065 Bitch flambe! 603 00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:26,866 What the hell is... 604 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,966 [Screaming] 605 00:24:29,066 --> 00:24:31,434 Pievault, will you put that fire out? 606 00:24:31,534 --> 00:24:34,301 What... what do you think she is, Joan of Arc? 607 00:24:34,402 --> 00:24:35,669 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): Joan of Arc? 608 00:24:35,767 --> 00:24:37,168 That's it. 609 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:39,235 I could be Joan of Arc. 610 00:24:39,335 --> 00:24:41,636 Why, she's been my hero ever since I 611 00:24:41,736 --> 00:24:44,570 Read the classic comic book about her. 612 00:24:44,670 --> 00:24:46,970 But no one can play her as well as I can. 613 00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:49,104 [Inaudible], George Bellman isn't some artsy-fartsy 614 00:24:49,204 --> 00:24:50,706 Producer from SoHo. 615 00:24:50,806 --> 00:24:52,472 I mean, this guy's box office. 616 00:24:52,572 --> 00:24:55,940 He... he... he offered the Muppets $10 million to do a porno film. 617 00:24:56,038 --> 00:24:57,907 I'm gonna do it, Jerry. 618 00:24:58,007 --> 00:25:00,841 Andrea, you and I both know you're a bundle of talent, 619 00:25:00,941 --> 00:25:01,807 Right? 620 00:25:01,907 --> 00:25:03,008 But we... we also know this business. 621 00:25:03,108 --> 00:25:05,375 It's not what you know, it's who you know. 622 00:25:05,475 --> 00:25:06,173 Right? 623 00:25:06,273 --> 00:25:07,008 And we don't know nobody. 624 00:25:07,108 --> 00:25:07,875 That's it! 625 00:25:07,975 --> 00:25:08,676 What? 626 00:25:08,774 --> 00:25:09,875 Andrea, look out. 627 00:25:09,975 --> 00:25:11,875 Do you remember the checkout girl at the A&P? 628 00:25:11,975 --> 00:25:14,843 Well, she once told me that her aunt's 629 00:25:14,943 --> 00:25:18,845 Next-door neighbor once did Bellman's secretary's nails! 630 00:25:18,943 --> 00:25:20,812 That's it! 631 00:25:20,912 --> 00:25:22,311 I'm in! 632 00:25:22,412 --> 00:25:24,311 I'm Joan of Arc! 633 00:25:24,412 --> 00:25:25,312 [Inaudible]. 634 00:25:25,413 --> 00:25:26,113 Boogie, mama! 635 00:25:32,380 --> 00:25:35,415 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): Remember, the mature teen goes for a man 636 00:25:35,515 --> 00:25:38,115 With a mind, not just a body. 637 00:25:38,215 --> 00:25:40,382 Do some browsing at the public library. 638 00:25:40,482 --> 00:25:43,282 That's where you'll find your cosmopolitan intellectual. 639 00:25:43,383 --> 00:25:44,117 Pardon me. 640 00:25:44,217 --> 00:25:45,950 Are you interested in chemistry? 641 00:25:46,050 --> 00:25:47,049 No. 642 00:25:47,149 --> 00:25:48,684 Oh. 643 00:25:48,784 --> 00:25:50,718 Well, that is the chemistry section you're looking through, 644 00:25:50,818 --> 00:25:52,017 Isn't it? Look, lady. 645 00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:53,952 Does someone necessarily have to be 646 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:55,552 Interested in chemistry just to borrow 647 00:25:55,652 --> 00:25:56,620 A book for their roommate? Huh? 648 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,085 Would you tell me that, please? Thank you. 649 00:25:58,185 --> 00:25:59,320 Oh, no. Not at all. 650 00:25:59,421 --> 00:26:01,754 As a matter of fact, I hate chemistry. 651 00:26:01,854 --> 00:26:02,920 It was my worst subject in school. 652 00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:03,721 Look, lady. 653 00:26:03,821 --> 00:26:04,586 Why the... oh. 654 00:26:07,854 --> 00:26:10,087 Would you tell me why you were asking me all 655 00:26:10,187 --> 00:26:11,355 These dumb questions, please? 656 00:26:11,456 --> 00:26:14,156 Would you just tell me why you walked over here? 657 00:26:14,256 --> 00:26:15,188 Wait a minute. 658 00:26:15,288 --> 00:26:18,524 Hol... ho... are you making a pass at me? 659 00:26:18,624 --> 00:26:20,990 Well, uh... 660 00:26:21,090 --> 00:26:22,524 You are making a pass at me? 661 00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:23,725 Aren't you? 662 00:26:23,825 --> 00:26:25,324 I'm doing this article for Mature Teen Magazine. 663 00:26:25,425 --> 00:26:26,859 [Inaudible], this is incredible. 664 00:26:26,959 --> 00:26:28,025 I mean, I can't believe it. 665 00:26:28,125 --> 00:26:29,760 Nobody has ever walked over to me and said, 666 00:26:29,860 --> 00:26:30,792 Hello there, Melvin. 667 00:26:30,892 --> 00:26:31,927 I think you're a wonderful person, 668 00:26:32,027 --> 00:26:33,460 And I would really like to meet you. 669 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:35,527 I mean, I think that you are so spendiperous... 670 00:26:35,627 --> 00:26:36,661 MAN: Can you be quiet please? 671 00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:37,693 That we could have a wonderful relationship. 672 00:26:37,793 --> 00:26:38,628 - Young man? - Yes? 673 00:26:38,728 --> 00:26:39,662 - You should be more quiet. - I know. 674 00:26:39,762 --> 00:26:40,961 But I'm just very happy. 675 00:26:41,061 --> 00:26:42,994 You see, this young lady, she just made a pass at me. 676 00:26:43,094 --> 00:26:43,895 What young lady? 677 00:26:43,995 --> 00:26:45,063 What do you mean, what young lady? 678 00:26:45,163 --> 00:26:47,397 This young lady. 679 00:26:47,497 --> 00:26:48,763 Oh my god. 680 00:26:48,863 --> 00:26:49,764 I lost her. 681 00:26:49,864 --> 00:26:50,896 Wait! 682 00:26:50,996 --> 00:26:52,465 [Inaudible] 683 00:26:52,565 --> 00:26:53,230 Oh. 684 00:26:53,330 --> 00:26:54,031 I'm sorry. 685 00:26:54,131 --> 00:26:55,298 Oh. 686 00:26:55,397 --> 00:26:57,198 Oh, [inaudible]. Excuse me. 687 00:26:57,298 --> 00:26:58,297 Well, excuse me. 688 00:26:58,398 --> 00:27:00,665 Bellman stinks. 689 00:27:00,765 --> 00:27:02,634 Bellman stinks. 690 00:27:02,734 --> 00:27:05,100 Bellman stinks. 691 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,568 Bellman stinks. 692 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,536 (SINGING) I said I love you, but [inaudible]. 693 00:27:10,634 --> 00:27:13,002 I want you, baby, but I [inaudible]. 694 00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:17,036 Hello. 695 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:18,936 I'm Andrea Morgan, and you don't know me. 696 00:27:19,036 --> 00:27:20,438 But I was sent by a friend... 697 00:27:20,538 --> 00:27:22,438 Oh, the temporary stenographer. 698 00:27:22,538 --> 00:27:24,404 Uh, uh, yes. 699 00:27:24,504 --> 00:27:26,370 The temporary stenographer. 700 00:27:26,471 --> 00:27:28,471 Well, get your buns in there. 701 00:27:28,571 --> 00:27:29,505 You're late already. 702 00:27:29,605 --> 00:27:30,305 Uh, yes, ma'am. 703 00:27:36,406 --> 00:27:37,106 Yo. 704 00:27:41,574 --> 00:27:43,008 Letter to Albert Goldfarb. 705 00:27:43,108 --> 00:27:45,776 You'll find his address in our investor list. 706 00:27:45,876 --> 00:27:49,976 Dear Albert, I've just laid my hands on Joan of Ark. 707 00:27:50,076 --> 00:27:52,844 It is written by Rufus Zogbaum. 708 00:27:52,944 --> 00:27:55,177 And, boy, is he terrific. 709 00:27:55,277 --> 00:27:57,177 It's an excellent investment. 710 00:27:57,277 --> 00:27:59,244 Look at that size of that pickle. 711 00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:00,479 I bet your pardon? 712 00:28:00,579 --> 00:28:02,111 Oh, I was just looking at my pickle. 713 00:28:02,211 --> 00:28:02,979 Where was I? 714 00:28:03,079 --> 00:28:04,345 Oh, yes. 715 00:28:04,446 --> 00:28:07,246 Joan is the hottest property I've come across in years. 716 00:28:07,346 --> 00:28:09,680 You will remember it is about this little French lass who 717 00:28:09,780 --> 00:28:11,913 Bellows encouragement to the [inaudible] 718 00:28:12,013 --> 00:28:13,749 To drive out the English, does battle 719 00:28:13,849 --> 00:28:15,982 At the head of the entire French army, 720 00:28:16,082 --> 00:28:17,482 And then is taken by the Spanish Inquisition, 721 00:28:17,582 --> 00:28:19,482 Who burn her as a witch. 722 00:28:19,582 --> 00:28:20,816 Are you getting all of this? 723 00:28:20,916 --> 00:28:21,715 Huh? 724 00:28:21,815 --> 00:28:22,516 Oh, um. 725 00:28:22,616 --> 00:28:24,182 Yes, sir. 726 00:28:24,282 --> 00:28:25,651 Uh, where was I? 727 00:28:25,751 --> 00:28:28,918 I'm Miss Simmons, the temporary stenographer 728 00:28:29,018 --> 00:28:31,252 Sent over by the agency. 729 00:28:31,352 --> 00:28:32,552 Yeah, and I'm Bo Derek. 730 00:28:32,652 --> 00:28:33,553 Listen, honey. 731 00:28:33,653 --> 00:28:35,786 That's the oldest trick in the book. 732 00:28:35,886 --> 00:28:37,152 You want an audition? 733 00:28:37,252 --> 00:28:39,519 You get your ass over there and wait your turn. 734 00:28:39,619 --> 00:28:41,488 But I am the stenographer. 735 00:28:41,588 --> 00:28:42,720 Listen! 736 00:28:42,820 --> 00:28:45,154 You get your ass over there, or I'll turn that prude 737 00:28:45,254 --> 00:28:47,621 Face into prune whip. 738 00:28:47,721 --> 00:28:50,689 Thank you, Ms. Derek. 739 00:28:50,789 --> 00:28:52,456 Bitch. 740 00:28:52,556 --> 00:28:53,523 Hey, lady. 741 00:28:53,623 --> 00:28:54,922 Who said you could get ahead of the line? 742 00:28:55,022 --> 00:28:55,723 Yeah! 743 00:28:55,823 --> 00:28:56,791 [Commotion] 744 00:28:56,891 --> 00:28:58,190 Ow! Ah! 745 00:28:58,290 --> 00:28:58,591 Eee! Oooh! 746 00:28:58,691 --> 00:28:59,857 Oh! 747 00:28:59,957 --> 00:29:01,124 Albert, I hope you will stick with me on this script. 748 00:29:01,224 --> 00:29:03,258 I know it is right up your alley. 749 00:29:03,358 --> 00:29:04,526 Put my best regards your wife. 750 00:29:04,626 --> 00:29:05,859 George Bellman. 751 00:29:05,959 --> 00:29:09,594 Uh, will you read that back to me now, Ms. Morgan? 752 00:29:09,694 --> 00:29:11,494 Uh, Ms. Morgan? 753 00:29:11,594 --> 00:29:13,661 Huh? 754 00:29:13,761 --> 00:29:14,628 Oh. 755 00:29:14,728 --> 00:29:16,662 Would you read that back to me now? 756 00:29:16,762 --> 00:29:18,127 Oh, uh. 757 00:29:18,227 --> 00:29:20,194 Uh, Dear Alfred. 758 00:29:23,028 --> 00:29:23,729 Yes. 759 00:29:23,829 --> 00:29:24,997 Go on. 760 00:29:25,095 --> 00:29:29,531 I have just laid Rufus Zogbaum, and boy, is he terrific. 761 00:29:29,631 --> 00:29:32,098 Wow, the size of his pickle. 762 00:29:32,198 --> 00:29:36,799 Joan is a hot little French ass who blows an English dolphin, 763 00:29:36,899 --> 00:29:39,600 Gives head to the entire French army 764 00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:42,801 Before she is burnt for being a bitch. 765 00:29:42,899 --> 00:29:47,769 I hope you will take this script and stick it up your wife. 766 00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:49,435 Yours truly, George Bellman. 767 00:29:53,003 --> 00:29:55,471 That's a very nice letter, my dear. 768 00:29:55,569 --> 00:29:58,169 And the nice part of it is you wrote it all by yourself 769 00:29:58,269 --> 00:30:00,304 Without any help from me. 770 00:30:00,404 --> 00:30:01,604 Oh, Mr. Bellman, I'm sorry. 771 00:30:01,704 --> 00:30:03,737 But, you see, I'm not really a stenographer. 772 00:30:03,837 --> 00:30:04,805 You're kidding. 773 00:30:04,905 --> 00:30:05,971 It's about Joan of Arc. 774 00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:08,006 What are you, a reporter? 775 00:30:08,106 --> 00:30:09,272 A fire marshal? 776 00:30:09,372 --> 00:30:10,106 No. 777 00:30:10,206 --> 00:30:12,073 I'm an actress. 778 00:30:12,173 --> 00:30:13,773 Oh, an actress. 779 00:30:13,873 --> 00:30:18,774 Not just an actress, but Joan herself... come back to triumph 780 00:30:18,874 --> 00:30:21,007 In an age that understands me. 781 00:30:21,107 --> 00:30:22,509 On Broadway, no doubt. 782 00:30:22,609 --> 00:30:24,208 Oh, Mr. Bellman, if you'd just see me act, 783 00:30:24,308 --> 00:30:26,241 You'd see I'm perfect for the part. 784 00:30:26,341 --> 00:30:27,743 I have seen you act. 785 00:30:27,843 --> 00:30:29,943 You play a lousy stenographer. 786 00:30:30,043 --> 00:30:32,377 I think it is time for you to leave now. 787 00:30:32,478 --> 00:30:34,744 Ms. Sharky. 788 00:30:34,844 --> 00:30:36,511 English dog. 789 00:30:36,611 --> 00:30:40,279 Does thou think you can frighten me with hollow threats? 790 00:30:40,379 --> 00:30:41,479 [Laugh] 791 00:30:41,579 --> 00:30:45,180 Joan of Arc is burning to leave. 792 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,448 I am on French soil, and a single Frenchman 793 00:30:48,548 --> 00:30:50,114 On his native ground is worth a thousand 794 00:30:50,214 --> 00:30:51,413 English away from home. 795 00:30:51,514 --> 00:30:52,782 Stay away, wench. 796 00:30:52,882 --> 00:30:55,483 I'm a brown belt. 797 00:30:55,583 --> 00:30:58,016 I'm a black belt. 798 00:30:58,116 --> 00:31:00,183 I'm, um, taking the window! 799 00:31:00,283 --> 00:31:01,217 Come on, honey. 800 00:31:01,317 --> 00:31:03,284 You're taking the mail chute. 801 00:31:03,384 --> 00:31:04,416 Courage, Joan. 802 00:31:04,517 --> 00:31:05,751 Though my flesh be banned. 803 00:31:05,851 --> 00:31:07,551 Courage to the end. 804 00:31:07,651 --> 00:31:08,351 Goodbye, Joan. 805 00:31:08,452 --> 00:31:09,317 Enough goodbye. 806 00:31:09,417 --> 00:31:10,285 Muah! 807 00:31:10,385 --> 00:31:13,152 Au revoir! [Scream] 808 00:31:13,252 --> 00:31:15,553 [Glass shattering] 809 00:31:20,488 --> 00:31:23,021 Sorry, but it's the only thing those cheap producers 810 00:31:23,121 --> 00:31:24,621 Of this film would spring for. 811 00:31:24,721 --> 00:31:25,421 Ha. 812 00:31:25,522 --> 00:31:28,089 Last film I do for them. 813 00:31:28,189 --> 00:31:29,123 Look. 814 00:31:29,223 --> 00:31:30,189 On the streets of New York, we're just 815 00:31:30,289 --> 00:31:32,055 An average, everyday couple. 816 00:31:32,155 --> 00:31:34,856 Average my ass. 817 00:31:34,956 --> 00:31:36,091 And that's a lot of ass. 818 00:31:36,191 --> 00:31:37,423 [Inaudible]. 819 00:31:37,524 --> 00:31:38,792 I mean, don't you think you're overdoing it a little bit? 820 00:31:38,892 --> 00:31:40,558 I look like a razor from one of those commercials. 821 00:31:40,658 --> 00:31:41,693 No. 822 00:31:41,793 --> 00:31:46,560 If anything, I feel like I've left something out. 823 00:31:46,660 --> 00:31:47,559 Possible. 824 00:31:47,659 --> 00:31:49,027 [Inaudible]. 825 00:31:49,127 --> 00:31:50,627 Do you see what I see? No, Andrea. 826 00:31:50,727 --> 00:31:51,661 You'd never get away with it. 827 00:31:51,761 --> 00:31:52,460 No way. 828 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:53,461 Oh, I'm a wiz with horses. 829 00:31:53,561 --> 00:31:54,629 No. Read my lips. 830 00:31:54,729 --> 00:31:55,528 No. Please. 831 00:31:55,628 --> 00:31:56,529 No. 832 00:31:56,629 --> 00:31:58,128 Now, you promised me you'd help me. 833 00:31:58,228 --> 00:32:00,095 Oh, please, no. 834 00:32:00,195 --> 00:32:02,529 (SINGING) I love New York. 835 00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:03,497 Doo doo doo doo do. 836 00:32:03,597 --> 00:32:05,597 Excuse me, officer. 837 00:32:05,697 --> 00:32:06,964 I believe this is my car you're ticketing. 838 00:32:07,064 --> 00:32:08,330 Congratulations. 839 00:32:08,430 --> 00:32:09,264 Thanks. 840 00:32:09,364 --> 00:32:10,032 But I believe it's legally parked. 841 00:32:10,130 --> 00:32:10,864 Aw, pal. 842 00:32:10,964 --> 00:32:12,199 Check the sign. 843 00:32:12,299 --> 00:32:14,900 Uh, begging your officer's pardon, I have read that sign. 844 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,500 And it says no standing. 845 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:17,999 It don't say nothing about no parking. 846 00:32:18,099 --> 00:32:19,233 Same thing. 847 00:32:19,333 --> 00:32:20,365 Well, if it's the same thing. 848 00:32:20,466 --> 00:32:21,634 How come you [inaudible]? 849 00:32:21,734 --> 00:32:22,966 Look, Jack. 850 00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:25,268 No standing means you're not allowed to park while you're 851 00:32:25,366 --> 00:32:26,267 Sitting in your vehicle. 852 00:32:26,367 --> 00:32:27,335 Look, Sam. 853 00:32:27,435 --> 00:32:28,968 Why didn't the sign just say no sitting? 854 00:32:29,068 --> 00:32:30,668 Because when you're sitting in your vehicle, 855 00:32:30,768 --> 00:32:32,003 You're not sitting. 856 00:32:32,103 --> 00:32:33,536 Oh, I'm not, huh? 857 00:32:33,636 --> 00:32:35,503 Well, if I'm not sitting when I'm sitting in my car, 858 00:32:35,603 --> 00:32:37,905 What am I doing when I'm not sitting in my car? 859 00:32:38,005 --> 00:32:38,904 You're parking. 860 00:32:39,004 --> 00:32:40,171 I'm not standing here talking to you? 861 00:32:40,271 --> 00:32:41,004 - Nope. - I'm parking. 862 00:32:41,104 --> 00:32:41,871 That's right. 863 00:32:41,971 --> 00:32:43,006 Now, look. 864 00:32:43,104 --> 00:32:44,238 I'm driving along here in my car and I pull up 865 00:32:44,338 --> 00:32:45,206 To the curb, what am I doing? 866 00:32:45,306 --> 00:32:46,839 Are you sitting in the vehicle? 867 00:32:46,939 --> 00:32:48,371 Of course I'm sitting in the vehicle. 868 00:32:48,472 --> 00:32:49,840 Then you're standing. 869 00:32:49,940 --> 00:32:51,139 Why am I standing? 870 00:32:51,239 --> 00:32:52,841 Because you're sitting in the car. 871 00:32:52,941 --> 00:32:53,907 Sitting in the car. OK. 872 00:32:54,007 --> 00:32:55,041 OK. 873 00:32:55,141 --> 00:32:56,541 Let me try this from the beginning, all right? 874 00:32:56,641 --> 00:32:58,440 I'm driving along here in my car, and I pull up the curb. 875 00:32:58,541 --> 00:33:00,342 I start to get out of the car, and so I'm not sitting 876 00:33:00,442 --> 00:33:03,575 And I'm not standing because I have one foot in the car 877 00:33:03,675 --> 00:33:05,143 And one foot on the street. 878 00:33:05,243 --> 00:33:06,242 Now what I am I doing? 879 00:33:06,342 --> 00:33:07,911 You're pushing your luck. 880 00:33:08,011 --> 00:33:09,410 - What am I doing? - You're loading. 881 00:33:09,511 --> 00:33:10,878 I'm getting out of my car, but I'm loading. 882 00:33:10,978 --> 00:33:12,177 That's it. You're loading. 883 00:33:12,277 --> 00:33:13,278 All right. I think I got it. 884 00:33:13,378 --> 00:33:14,845 Now, you tell me if it's the way it goes. 885 00:33:14,945 --> 00:33:16,344 When I'm sitting in my car, I'm standing. 886 00:33:16,444 --> 00:33:17,779 And when I'm not sitting in my car, 887 00:33:17,879 --> 00:33:19,813 I'm not standing outside my car, I'm parked. 888 00:33:19,913 --> 00:33:21,345 And when I'm parking, I'm not sitting 889 00:33:21,445 --> 00:33:25,280 Or standing or parking, because, by some miracle, I'm loading. 890 00:33:25,380 --> 00:33:26,279 Is that it? 891 00:33:26,379 --> 00:33:27,481 That's it. 892 00:33:27,581 --> 00:33:29,247 Say, you're swell, pal. 893 00:33:29,347 --> 00:33:30,315 Listen. 894 00:33:30,415 --> 00:33:32,649 You mind if I ask you one more question? 895 00:33:32,749 --> 00:33:35,416 Are you actually planning on writing that sign post, 896 00:33:35,517 --> 00:33:37,583 Or are you just afraid it's going to get away? 897 00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:40,083 Silly. 898 00:33:40,183 --> 00:33:41,084 Hey! 899 00:33:41,184 --> 00:33:42,050 Come back here! 900 00:33:42,150 --> 00:33:42,851 Ah! 901 00:33:56,886 --> 00:33:58,955 Bellman, quite frankly, uh, investing in a Broadway play, 902 00:33:59,055 --> 00:34:00,822 For me, is a horse of a different color. 903 00:34:00,922 --> 00:34:02,454 And who are you going to get as a main star? 904 00:34:02,555 --> 00:34:07,355 Oh, I assure you, Alfred, "Joan of Arc" is a sound investment. 905 00:34:07,455 --> 00:34:11,224 And, as a matter of fact, I am currently 906 00:34:11,324 --> 00:34:14,757 Negotiating with Laura Ball to play the lead. 907 00:34:14,857 --> 00:34:16,091 Laura Ball, huh? 908 00:34:16,191 --> 00:34:19,092 Isn't she a bit old to be playing Joan of Arc? 909 00:34:19,192 --> 00:34:19,891 [Inaudible]. 910 00:34:19,991 --> 00:34:20,826 She plays the [inaudible]. 911 00:34:20,926 --> 00:34:21,960 But with her name on the marquee, 912 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:23,827 She guarantees us a profit. 913 00:34:23,927 --> 00:34:25,292 Oh, Alfred, let's invest. 914 00:34:25,392 --> 00:34:27,527 It would be so exciting to have a piece of a Broadway play. 915 00:34:27,627 --> 00:34:29,361 We could have a party in the opening night. 916 00:34:29,461 --> 00:34:32,360 We can invite the Winslows, and Harriet [inaudible]. 917 00:34:32,460 --> 00:34:34,630 She'll be green when I tell her. 918 00:34:34,730 --> 00:34:37,196 Well, Bellman, your investment sounds 919 00:34:37,296 --> 00:34:39,697 Just too good to pass up. 920 00:34:39,797 --> 00:34:42,131 But I don't know... Uh, theater people. 921 00:34:42,231 --> 00:34:44,364 It always seemed... well, rather unpredictable. 922 00:34:44,464 --> 00:34:46,197 You know, eccentric. 923 00:34:46,297 --> 00:34:48,097 Oh, Alfred, I assure you. 924 00:34:48,197 --> 00:34:51,799 I'm a conservative businessman, just like you. 925 00:34:51,899 --> 00:34:54,033 As a matter of fact, I have a reputation 926 00:34:54,133 --> 00:34:55,933 For being... nothing more, thank you... 927 00:34:56,033 --> 00:34:57,833 For being quite conservative. 928 00:34:57,933 --> 00:34:59,501 What the devil is that? 929 00:34:59,601 --> 00:35:00,433 Oh, this is goose pate. 930 00:35:00,534 --> 00:35:01,334 Why? 931 00:35:01,434 --> 00:35:02,135 [Inaudible]. 932 00:35:04,636 --> 00:35:07,537 It is I, Joan! 933 00:35:07,637 --> 00:35:09,002 [Inaudible] 934 00:35:09,102 --> 00:35:14,704 [Inaudible] to crown the king [inaudible]. 935 00:35:14,804 --> 00:35:15,503 [Inaudible] 936 00:35:15,603 --> 00:35:16,303 Ah. 937 00:35:16,403 --> 00:35:18,571 Ahh! 938 00:35:18,671 --> 00:35:21,004 [Inaudible]. 939 00:35:21,104 --> 00:35:22,439 [Inaudible] the Charles? 940 00:35:22,540 --> 00:35:23,905 I be not. 941 00:35:24,005 --> 00:35:25,240 [Inaudible] 942 00:35:25,340 --> 00:35:26,573 [Inaudible] very well who I be. 943 00:35:26,673 --> 00:35:28,074 What's the meaning of this, Bellman? 944 00:35:28,172 --> 00:35:28,873 Do you know this woman? 945 00:35:28,973 --> 00:35:29,974 Why, certainly not. 946 00:35:30,074 --> 00:35:32,575 Will you get the hell out of here? 947 00:35:32,675 --> 00:35:33,907 - Do I get the audition now? - No. 948 00:35:34,007 --> 00:35:35,375 Alfred, stop talking. [inaudible] your wife 949 00:35:35,475 --> 00:35:36,608 Is being assaulted by a horse. 950 00:35:36,708 --> 00:35:39,709 And who is this baffoon [inaudible]? 951 00:35:39,809 --> 00:35:41,543 Buffoon? 952 00:35:41,643 --> 00:35:42,810 But, why, Joan, this be no buffoon. 953 00:35:42,910 --> 00:35:47,911 This be Masseur Alfred [inaudible], the [inaudible]. 954 00:35:48,011 --> 00:35:48,977 That does it, Bellman. 955 00:35:49,077 --> 00:35:50,411 I will not be made a fool of any longer. 956 00:35:50,512 --> 00:35:52,245 [Inaudible]. 957 00:35:52,345 --> 00:35:54,478 You've been a fool far too long as it is. 958 00:35:54,579 --> 00:35:55,279 BELLMAN: Please, Alfred. 959 00:35:55,379 --> 00:35:58,514 I assure you [inaudible]. 960 00:35:58,612 --> 00:36:00,514 [Inaudible], [inaudible]. 961 00:36:00,614 --> 00:36:02,480 Tell this [inaudible]. 962 00:36:02,581 --> 00:36:04,480 And he can take his [inaudible] with him. 963 00:36:04,581 --> 00:36:05,649 Come, Lydia. Lydia. 964 00:36:05,749 --> 00:36:06,447 Lydia! 965 00:36:11,016 --> 00:36:13,915 [Screaming] 966 00:36:15,016 --> 00:36:15,884 Lydia! 967 00:36:15,984 --> 00:36:16,683 Lydia! 968 00:36:28,419 --> 00:36:31,287 Do you realize that man whose wife just assaulted 969 00:36:31,387 --> 00:36:32,854 Could have backed my whole production 970 00:36:32,954 --> 00:36:34,353 Without batting an eyelash? 971 00:36:34,453 --> 00:36:37,454 I guess I just got carried away. 972 00:36:37,555 --> 00:36:40,722 Well, he is a bit of a buffoon now, isn't he? 973 00:36:40,822 --> 00:36:42,055 A bit. 974 00:36:42,155 --> 00:36:45,623 Did you see his face when you... [laugh] Now, look here. 975 00:36:45,723 --> 00:36:47,557 If you don't leave me alone, I'm going to call the police. 976 00:36:47,657 --> 00:36:48,791 All right, I'm going. 977 00:36:48,891 --> 00:36:50,691 But you haven't seen the last of me, George Bellman. 978 00:36:50,791 --> 00:36:53,058 I'm going behind your every step. 979 00:36:53,158 --> 00:36:54,891 Every time you turn around, I'm going 980 00:36:54,991 --> 00:36:57,158 To be there, as Joan, until you see 981 00:36:57,258 --> 00:36:58,526 That I'm perfect for the part. 982 00:36:58,626 --> 00:36:59,326 [Inaudible]. 983 00:36:59,426 --> 00:37:00,125 [Inaudible]. 984 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,660 Where'd you find the horse, mac? 985 00:37:07,527 --> 00:37:09,794 Uh, we had lunch together. 986 00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:13,729 [Awkward laugh] 987 00:37:13,829 --> 00:37:18,129 [Humming] 988 00:37:18,229 --> 00:37:19,896 Hello, Charlie. 989 00:37:19,996 --> 00:37:24,298 It is I, the ghost of Joan of Arc, burned at the stake, 990 00:37:24,398 --> 00:37:27,464 Come back to haunt the man whom I crowned 991 00:37:27,565 --> 00:37:31,066 In his cathedral [inaudible] and who did not raise a [inaudible] 992 00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:31,933 To my ransom. 993 00:37:32,033 --> 00:37:32,732 He, [inaudible]. 994 00:38:02,439 --> 00:38:03,606 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): When evening falls, 995 00:38:03,706 --> 00:38:06,106 Go after the strong, silent type. 996 00:38:06,206 --> 00:38:09,040 But remember, these men are very shy. 997 00:38:09,140 --> 00:38:11,207 So ask him about himself. 998 00:38:11,307 --> 00:38:13,808 Only you can bring him out of his shell. 999 00:38:13,908 --> 00:38:17,843 Um, excuse me, Mr. Felix? 1000 00:38:17,943 --> 00:38:19,610 How tall did you say you were? 1001 00:38:19,710 --> 00:38:22,310 Six feet. 1002 00:38:22,410 --> 00:38:23,111 [Gasp] 1003 00:38:23,211 --> 00:38:23,910 And 11 inches. 1004 00:38:28,410 --> 00:38:30,112 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): Looking for a clean-cut guy? 1005 00:38:30,212 --> 00:38:31,979 Check out your neighborhood laundromat. 1006 00:38:32,079 --> 00:38:34,646 If you're lucky, he may ask to share your detergent. 1007 00:38:34,746 --> 00:38:35,747 MAN: Speed. Camera. 1008 00:38:35,847 --> 00:38:36,880 Action. 1009 00:38:36,980 --> 00:38:38,512 What would you say if I took away your detergent 1010 00:38:38,613 --> 00:38:41,914 And ripped your blouse in half? 1011 00:38:42,014 --> 00:38:43,315 Hey, are you crazy or something? 1012 00:38:43,415 --> 00:38:45,716 That's my favorite blouse. 1013 00:38:45,816 --> 00:38:47,616 I don't believe this. 1014 00:38:47,716 --> 00:38:48,449 [Inaudible]. 1015 00:38:48,550 --> 00:38:49,215 Hey, boss. 1016 00:38:49,315 --> 00:38:50,550 I think she dropped these. 1017 00:38:53,949 --> 00:38:56,185 I don't think she, uh, uses our product. 1018 00:38:56,283 --> 00:38:57,551 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): If you're tired of all 1019 00:38:57,651 --> 00:39:00,852 The gimmicks and artificial ingredients, go organic. 1020 00:39:00,952 --> 00:39:03,587 Forget the discos and cocktail parties. 1021 00:39:03,687 --> 00:39:06,485 Head for the beach... that's where you'll find a real man. 1022 00:39:26,257 --> 00:39:28,424 When all else fails, the way to a man's heart 1023 00:39:28,524 --> 00:39:30,091 Is through his stomach. 1024 00:39:30,191 --> 00:39:33,626 The Mature Teen makes sure her man gets a gourmet luncheon. 1025 00:39:33,726 --> 00:39:34,524 Here's your lunch, Bill. 1026 00:39:34,625 --> 00:39:35,425 Oh, great. 1027 00:39:35,525 --> 00:39:38,627 Ah... oh, no. 1028 00:39:38,727 --> 00:39:41,628 Are you all right? 1029 00:39:41,728 --> 00:39:44,827 Um, uh, shall we go out to lunch? 1030 00:39:44,927 --> 00:39:46,061 I'll have to change. 1031 00:39:46,161 --> 00:39:48,596 Tell me, uh, what do you do in real life? 1032 00:39:48,696 --> 00:39:49,529 I'm a writer. 1033 00:39:49,628 --> 00:39:51,262 Well, trying to be a writer. 1034 00:39:51,362 --> 00:39:52,629 Hey, hold the phone. 1035 00:39:52,729 --> 00:39:53,830 You're kidding. 1036 00:39:53,930 --> 00:39:56,363 I'm doing an article now for Mature Teen Magazine. 1037 00:39:56,463 --> 00:39:57,164 Great. 1038 00:39:57,262 --> 00:39:58,263 What about? 1039 00:39:58,363 --> 00:40:02,564 Well, it's about picking up... it's about men. 1040 00:40:02,664 --> 00:40:03,531 Picking up men. 1041 00:40:07,498 --> 00:40:10,265 Bill, how come you never talk about yourself? 1042 00:40:10,365 --> 00:40:12,465 Why are you always so quiet and serious? 1043 00:40:12,566 --> 00:40:13,333 I'm in training. 1044 00:40:13,433 --> 00:40:14,802 [Gasp] 1045 00:40:15,867 --> 00:40:17,667 Oh, that's so gory. 1046 00:40:17,767 --> 00:40:20,067 Is there lots of blood? 1047 00:40:20,167 --> 00:40:21,035 NARRATOR: Ooh, blood. 1048 00:40:21,135 --> 00:40:23,068 Yeah. [Inaudible] lots of blood. 1049 00:40:23,168 --> 00:40:24,136 And doesn't it hurt? 1050 00:40:24,236 --> 00:40:25,268 Well, we have certain drugs which 1051 00:40:25,368 --> 00:40:27,404 Take care of that [inaudible]. 1052 00:40:27,504 --> 00:40:28,870 Oh, that's so dangerous. 1053 00:40:28,970 --> 00:40:30,203 BILL: Yeah. 1054 00:40:30,303 --> 00:40:34,238 Sometimes it's a matter of life and death for the patient. 1055 00:40:34,338 --> 00:40:35,404 What do you mean for the patient? 1056 00:40:35,504 --> 00:40:38,839 I'm a doctor, as I'm training to be a surgeon. 1057 00:40:38,939 --> 00:40:40,739 I've got another year left in medical school, 1058 00:40:40,839 --> 00:40:42,207 Then internship and residency. 1059 00:40:42,307 --> 00:40:45,472 And if you want to specialize, it's more. 1060 00:40:45,573 --> 00:40:47,541 I never knew this sort of thing existed in New York. 1061 00:40:47,642 --> 00:40:48,373 Yeah. 1062 00:40:48,473 --> 00:40:51,008 It's a pretty sunset, isn't it? 1063 00:40:51,108 --> 00:40:54,242 It reminds me of the ones we had back home in Indiana. 1064 00:40:54,342 --> 00:40:55,642 It's so pretty. 1065 00:40:55,742 --> 00:40:57,376 You know, sometimes when there are clouds around the sunset, 1066 00:40:57,476 --> 00:40:59,577 It reminds me of the way my ma used to mash instant potatoes 1067 00:40:59,677 --> 00:41:00,377 In her blender. 1068 00:41:03,410 --> 00:41:05,345 What a lovely way of putting it. 1069 00:41:05,445 --> 00:41:06,144 You think so? 1070 00:41:22,782 --> 00:41:23,715 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): Don't worry. 1071 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:25,516 You can let him have a little kiss. 1072 00:41:25,617 --> 00:41:29,783 It won't lead anywhere, because you're in control, girl. 1073 00:41:29,883 --> 00:41:30,784 Oh, no. 1074 00:41:30,884 --> 00:41:31,583 Oh, yes. 1075 00:41:39,318 --> 00:41:40,720 Oh. 1076 00:41:40,820 --> 00:41:42,686 Ooh. 1077 00:41:42,786 --> 00:41:44,385 Mmm. 1078 00:41:44,485 --> 00:41:45,186 Ahh. 1079 00:42:03,157 --> 00:42:06,025 [Inaudible]. 1080 00:42:06,125 --> 00:42:08,258 I told you, all the boys must wash hands 1081 00:42:08,358 --> 00:42:11,492 Before leaving the restroom. 1082 00:42:11,593 --> 00:42:12,626 Hey Jerry. 1083 00:42:12,726 --> 00:42:14,160 Are you paying for the old bag's lunch again? 1084 00:42:17,492 --> 00:42:18,794 NARRATOR: Three plates of beans? 1085 00:42:18,894 --> 00:42:20,493 No wonder she gets around so fast. 1086 00:42:20,594 --> 00:42:22,193 Put her her on my personal account. 1087 00:42:22,293 --> 00:42:26,596 And hey, don't call Mrs. Margolis an old bag. 1088 00:42:26,696 --> 00:42:28,429 [Farting noise] 1089 00:42:28,529 --> 00:42:29,528 MAN (ON LOUDSPEAKER): Calling Dr. 1090 00:42:29,629 --> 00:42:31,997 Howard, Dr. Stein, Dr. Howard. 1091 00:42:32,095 --> 00:42:34,397 Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Stein, Dr. Howard. 1092 00:42:49,034 --> 00:42:50,399 Who'd have thought? 1093 00:42:50,499 --> 00:42:53,167 Malignant hemhorroids. 1094 00:42:53,267 --> 00:42:55,968 You tried your best, Doctor. 1095 00:42:56,068 --> 00:42:56,769 Hello there. 1096 00:42:56,869 --> 00:42:57,901 How are you? Oh. 1097 00:42:58,001 --> 00:42:59,002 Oh. I'm sorry. 1098 00:42:59,102 --> 00:42:59,803 [Inaudible]. 1099 00:42:59,903 --> 00:43:01,603 Oh, God bless you. 1100 00:43:01,703 --> 00:43:04,003 I... uh, does Jennifer Martin work here? 1101 00:43:04,103 --> 00:43:04,804 Well, yeah. 1102 00:43:04,904 --> 00:43:05,637 Jennifer works here. 1103 00:43:05,737 --> 00:43:06,738 Oh, good. 1104 00:43:06,838 --> 00:43:09,772 You see, she tried to pick me u... I mean, 1105 00:43:09,872 --> 00:43:11,338 We met at the library the other day, 1106 00:43:11,438 --> 00:43:12,871 And I thought I'd like to come in and see her. 1107 00:43:12,971 --> 00:43:14,305 You know what I mean? 1108 00:43:14,405 --> 00:43:15,605 Well, why don't you have a seat? 1109 00:43:15,705 --> 00:43:16,606 She'll be back in a few minutes. Oh, thank you. 1110 00:43:16,706 --> 00:43:17,674 I will. Yeah. 1111 00:43:17,772 --> 00:43:18,505 Oh. 1112 00:43:18,606 --> 00:43:19,306 Excuse me. 1113 00:43:19,406 --> 00:43:20,840 Is Jennifer here? 1114 00:43:20,940 --> 00:43:22,708 MAN: Well, she's not here now, but she works here. 1115 00:43:22,808 --> 00:43:26,708 You know, this reminds me of the place I met my Janet. 1116 00:43:26,808 --> 00:43:27,676 MAN: Janet? 1117 00:43:27,776 --> 00:43:28,742 Janet! 1118 00:43:28,842 --> 00:43:30,143 Don't you ever mention the name Janet! 1119 00:43:30,243 --> 00:43:31,743 - [gagging] - Excuse me. 1120 00:43:31,843 --> 00:43:32,877 Is Jennifer Martin here? 1121 00:43:32,975 --> 00:43:34,209 I was supposed to meet her for a [inaudible]. 1122 00:43:34,309 --> 00:43:35,177 Is Jennifer here? 1123 00:43:35,277 --> 00:43:35,976 Excuse me. 1124 00:43:36,076 --> 00:43:37,144 She [inaudible]. 1125 00:43:37,244 --> 00:43:38,109 She made a pass at me. 1126 00:43:38,209 --> 00:43:38,910 [Inaudible commotion] 1127 00:43:44,445 --> 00:43:45,745 Excuse me. Excuse me, gentlemen. 1128 00:43:45,845 --> 00:43:46,545 Excuse me. 1129 00:43:46,646 --> 00:43:47,579 Hi. 1130 00:43:47,680 --> 00:43:49,312 Uh, Jennifer left these the other day. 1131 00:43:49,412 --> 00:43:53,546 Would you tell her that I washed them for her? 1132 00:43:53,647 --> 00:43:54,547 There she is. 1133 00:43:54,648 --> 00:43:55,514 There she [inaudible]. 1134 00:43:55,615 --> 00:43:58,948 [Commotion] 1135 00:44:00,349 --> 00:44:02,182 Are these white enough for you, Jenny? 1136 00:44:02,282 --> 00:44:05,651 Oh, Bill, wait! 1137 00:44:05,751 --> 00:44:07,116 MAN: [inaudible] Jennifer. 1138 00:44:07,216 --> 00:44:08,117 [Inaudible]. 1139 00:44:08,217 --> 00:44:08,916 I can explain! 1140 00:44:29,054 --> 00:44:32,388 Lindsay, you're supposed to have a conversation with him 1141 00:44:32,488 --> 00:44:34,656 Before you start taking your clothes off. 1142 00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:35,990 It's not my fault. 1143 00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:38,290 He just didn't have anything interesting to say. 1144 00:44:38,390 --> 00:44:40,991 I think little miss hot pants here wants to do 1145 00:44:41,091 --> 00:44:42,791 Your research for Mature Teen. 1146 00:44:42,891 --> 00:44:44,257 By the way, how's it going? 1147 00:44:44,357 --> 00:44:46,924 Oh, pretty good... Except the guy I 1148 00:44:47,024 --> 00:44:48,492 Interviewed at the laundromat brought 1149 00:44:48,592 --> 00:44:51,293 My bra and panties back, and Bill got the wrong idea. 1150 00:44:51,393 --> 00:44:53,260 Now he won't even talk to me. 1151 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,094 What about all of those women patients in his work? 1152 00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:59,460 Yeah, taking their clothes off in front of him? 1153 00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,828 Oh, Doctor, I've got an ear infection. 1154 00:45:02,928 --> 00:45:03,796 Ahem. 1155 00:45:03,896 --> 00:45:05,729 Take your clothes off. 1156 00:45:05,829 --> 00:45:07,362 Didn't Bill say that he had a big presentation 1157 00:45:07,462 --> 00:45:10,196 Tomorrow in obstetrics class? 1158 00:45:10,296 --> 00:45:12,764 Something about the menstrual cycle? 1159 00:45:12,864 --> 00:45:14,398 I used to have a menstrual cycle, 1160 00:45:14,498 --> 00:45:16,431 But I traded it for a Honda. 1161 00:45:16,531 --> 00:45:17,264 Rawr! 1162 00:45:17,364 --> 00:45:18,666 Hey, Jen. 1163 00:45:18,766 --> 00:45:21,767 I think Bill would just love for you to attend his presentation. 1164 00:45:21,867 --> 00:45:23,432 Yeah I think he'd be proud. 1165 00:45:33,068 --> 00:45:35,735 Now, cramps are just one of the physical indications 1166 00:45:35,835 --> 00:45:37,869 Of this part of the menstrual cycle. 1167 00:45:37,969 --> 00:45:40,770 Another is engorgement from dilated blood vessels, 1168 00:45:40,870 --> 00:45:43,971 As is evidenced here on this Swinson twins. 1169 00:45:44,071 --> 00:45:46,071 Now, during non-menstrual periods of the cycle, 1170 00:45:46,171 --> 00:45:49,505 Both girls are fairly similar in both size and weight. 1171 00:45:49,605 --> 00:45:51,305 Bab Swinson, as you can see, is not engorged. 1172 00:45:51,405 --> 00:45:53,839 Her menstrual flow ceased last week. 1173 00:45:53,939 --> 00:45:55,873 However, her twin sister Bunny has 1174 00:45:55,973 --> 00:45:58,073 Considerable engorgement, particularly 1175 00:45:58,173 --> 00:45:59,507 In the breast area. 1176 00:45:59,607 --> 00:46:02,041 This is due to hormonal changes which occur during this period 1177 00:46:02,141 --> 00:46:04,141 Of simulated pregnancy. 1178 00:46:04,241 --> 00:46:05,775 Now, as you will recall, during pregnancy, 1179 00:46:05,875 --> 00:46:07,875 There is both breast enlargement and nipple 1180 00:46:07,975 --> 00:46:10,043 And areola pigmentation. 1181 00:46:10,143 --> 00:46:11,576 I would ask you here to please notice 1182 00:46:11,677 --> 00:46:14,778 The enlargement of the areola around the nipple. 1183 00:46:14,878 --> 00:46:16,610 The breast itself is considerably firmer 1184 00:46:16,711 --> 00:46:18,911 Than during non-menstrual periods of the cycle. 1185 00:46:19,011 --> 00:46:19,845 Bill Whitley. 1186 00:46:19,945 --> 00:46:20,844 Jennifer? 1187 00:46:20,944 --> 00:46:23,444 I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't 1188 00:46:23,544 --> 00:46:24,279 Seen it with my own eyes. 1189 00:46:24,379 --> 00:46:25,745 What are you doing here? 1190 00:46:25,845 --> 00:46:27,814 After what you said about my work. 1191 00:46:27,914 --> 00:46:28,713 BILL: Your work? 1192 00:46:28,813 --> 00:46:29,981 Bill? 1193 00:46:30,081 --> 00:46:32,281 My apologies, Dr. Kleinbum. 1194 00:46:32,381 --> 00:46:33,847 And excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. 1195 00:46:33,947 --> 00:46:34,782 Just take a second. 1196 00:46:34,882 --> 00:46:36,247 This lady is deranged. 1197 00:46:36,347 --> 00:46:37,683 [Inaudible]. 1198 00:46:37,783 --> 00:46:39,615 Caught you red-handed, Bill. 1199 00:46:39,716 --> 00:46:41,515 This is obstetrics class. 1200 00:46:41,615 --> 00:46:42,984 This is my life. 1201 00:46:43,084 --> 00:46:44,884 How low can you get? 1202 00:46:44,984 --> 00:46:47,184 You know, he gets mad at me just because I like to talk 1203 00:46:47,284 --> 00:46:48,151 To men on street corners. 1204 00:46:48,251 --> 00:46:50,418 That has nothing to do with it! 1205 00:46:50,518 --> 00:46:52,485 He wanted me to give up my career. 1206 00:46:52,585 --> 00:46:53,685 Your career? 1207 00:46:53,785 --> 00:46:57,486 But it's only one article for a lousy gossip rag. 1208 00:46:57,586 --> 00:46:59,419 You gonad face. 1209 00:46:59,519 --> 00:47:01,386 Your hands were cold, anyway. 1210 00:47:04,087 --> 00:47:04,788 Order. 1211 00:47:06,788 --> 00:47:08,089 Oh, look. I've got to run to the bank. 1212 00:47:08,189 --> 00:47:09,855 Do you think can set up for me while I'm gone? 1213 00:47:09,955 --> 00:47:10,856 Who, me? 1214 00:47:10,956 --> 00:47:12,022 Look, it's either you or Moe. 1215 00:47:12,122 --> 00:47:13,657 And if Andrea ever shows up today, 1216 00:47:13,757 --> 00:47:16,823 Will you tell her she's late again? 1217 00:47:16,923 --> 00:47:18,224 [Inaudible], where are the table clothes? 1218 00:47:18,324 --> 00:47:19,056 Where is Jerry going? 1219 00:47:19,156 --> 00:47:20,758 Out, and he left me in charge. 1220 00:47:20,858 --> 00:47:22,424 Well, I don't know what you're going to do, boss, 1221 00:47:22,524 --> 00:47:25,325 But that lady back there wants to sign her check. 1222 00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:27,092 Yeah, that's Mrs. Margolis. 1223 00:47:27,192 --> 00:47:29,325 Jerry always lets her sign. 1224 00:47:29,425 --> 00:47:31,560 Hey, wait a minute. 1225 00:47:31,659 --> 00:47:32,794 Let me take care of this. 1226 00:47:32,894 --> 00:47:33,795 What are you going to do? 1227 00:47:33,895 --> 00:47:34,860 I don't know. 1228 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:35,961 I'm going to hate myself in the morning. 1229 00:47:36,061 --> 00:47:37,127 But at least for least once, Jerry's going 1230 00:47:37,227 --> 00:47:38,962 To appreciate something I do. 1231 00:47:39,062 --> 00:47:40,028 [Farting noises] 1232 00:47:40,128 --> 00:47:42,128 Excuse me, miss, but, I'm really sorry, 1233 00:47:42,228 --> 00:47:43,897 But I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 1234 00:47:43,997 --> 00:47:46,630 Because we have this new policy... no more credit. 1235 00:47:46,731 --> 00:47:50,230 And, um, really, you'll have to abide to those rules from now 1236 00:47:50,330 --> 00:47:51,699 On. 1237 00:47:51,799 --> 00:47:55,665 [Farting noises] 1238 00:47:58,733 --> 00:48:00,032 There were mass demonstrations here today 1239 00:48:00,132 --> 00:48:03,967 In front of Reems Cathedral, as 500 white-robed schoolchildren 1240 00:48:04,067 --> 00:48:06,401 Threatened to immolate themselves unless they could 1241 00:48:06,501 --> 00:48:10,601 Have Kermit the Frog as hostage, or unless Andrea Morgan could 1242 00:48:10,702 --> 00:48:13,335 Play the part of Joan of Arc in George 1243 00:48:13,435 --> 00:48:15,836 Bellman's new production! 1244 00:48:15,936 --> 00:48:20,303 [Humming] 1245 00:48:24,071 --> 00:48:24,772 Millie! 1246 00:48:34,808 --> 00:48:35,740 [Gasp] No. 1247 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:36,941 No. 1248 00:48:37,041 --> 00:48:38,440 It's you! 1249 00:48:38,540 --> 00:48:39,241 Oh. 1250 00:48:39,341 --> 00:48:41,041 No! 1251 00:48:41,141 --> 00:48:41,909 What's the matter, George? 1252 00:48:42,009 --> 00:48:43,141 Of course it's me! 1253 00:48:43,241 --> 00:48:45,608 [Laughter] 1254 00:48:48,209 --> 00:48:49,076 [Scream] 1255 00:48:49,176 --> 00:48:50,077 [Scream] 1256 00:48:50,177 --> 00:48:51,076 [Whistle] 1257 00:48:51,176 --> 00:48:52,577 [Moan] 1258 00:48:52,678 --> 00:48:54,044 Where to, Bub? 1259 00:48:54,144 --> 00:48:57,746 To 730 Th... ah. 1260 00:48:57,846 --> 00:48:58,511 No! 1261 00:49:01,612 --> 00:49:06,479 [Inaudible] Joan [inaudible]. 1262 00:49:06,579 --> 00:49:09,447 [Inaudible] in an age that understands me. 1263 00:49:09,547 --> 00:49:12,916 Not just an actress, but Joan of Arc! 1264 00:49:13,016 --> 00:49:18,381 Come back [inaudible] not just an actress, but Joan of Arc! 1265 00:49:18,481 --> 00:49:19,382 Joan of Arc! 1266 00:49:19,482 --> 00:49:20,383 Joan of Arc! 1267 00:49:20,483 --> 00:49:21,382 Joan of Arc! 1268 00:49:21,482 --> 00:49:23,349 Joan of Arc! 1269 00:49:23,449 --> 00:49:24,350 No. 1270 00:49:24,450 --> 00:49:26,350 No audition. 1271 00:49:26,450 --> 00:49:27,318 No. 1272 00:49:27,418 --> 00:49:28,818 No audition. 1273 00:49:28,918 --> 00:49:29,819 No. 1274 00:49:29,919 --> 00:49:31,785 No audition. 1275 00:49:31,885 --> 00:49:32,786 No. 1276 00:49:32,886 --> 00:49:33,584 No audition. 1277 00:49:33,685 --> 00:49:34,786 You [inaudible]. 1278 00:49:34,886 --> 00:49:35,787 [Inaudible] 1279 00:49:35,887 --> 00:49:37,253 No audition! 1280 00:49:37,353 --> 00:49:38,254 No! 1281 00:49:38,354 --> 00:49:39,754 No! 1282 00:49:39,854 --> 00:49:46,187 [Laugh] 1283 00:49:54,256 --> 00:49:55,590 That'll be $3.50. 1284 00:49:55,691 --> 00:49:56,389 Oh. 1285 00:49:56,489 --> 00:49:57,190 Oh. 1286 00:49:57,290 --> 00:49:59,090 That'll be $3.50. 1287 00:49:59,190 --> 00:49:59,891 Good afternoon. 1288 00:49:59,991 --> 00:50:01,292 Can I take your order now? 1289 00:50:01,390 --> 00:50:02,325 Yes. 1290 00:50:02,425 --> 00:50:03,925 We'll start with the Cherrystone clams. 1291 00:50:04,025 --> 00:50:06,293 And, uh... it's not really you. 1292 00:50:06,393 --> 00:50:08,627 I know it's not really you, and if I close my eyes, 1293 00:50:08,728 --> 00:50:09,860 You'll disappear. 1294 00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:11,161 George, have you lost your mind? 1295 00:50:11,261 --> 00:50:12,493 I'm having another one of my visions. 1296 00:50:12,593 --> 00:50:14,593 Well, I know the young lady's attractive, 1297 00:50:14,694 --> 00:50:16,462 But there's no need to overdo it. 1298 00:50:16,562 --> 00:50:17,628 - It is me. - It's you. 1299 00:50:17,729 --> 00:50:18,662 It's her. 1300 00:50:18,763 --> 00:50:19,461 It's her. 1301 00:50:19,561 --> 00:50:20,295 Her. 1302 00:50:20,395 --> 00:50:22,395 The girl who's been hounding me. 1303 00:50:22,495 --> 00:50:23,596 Joan of Arc. That's Joan of Arc? 1304 00:50:23,697 --> 00:50:24,395 Ah, uh, no. 1305 00:50:24,495 --> 00:50:25,463 Of course it isn't. 1306 00:50:25,563 --> 00:50:27,263 She's only pretending to be Joan of Arc. 1307 00:50:27,363 --> 00:50:29,065 Do you know she looks to me as though she's 1308 00:50:29,165 --> 00:50:30,965 Pretending to be a waitress? 1309 00:50:31,065 --> 00:50:32,832 I really am your waitress. 1310 00:50:32,932 --> 00:50:33,632 Nonsense. 1311 00:50:33,733 --> 00:50:34,531 You're an actress. 1312 00:50:34,631 --> 00:50:35,332 She's an actress. 1313 00:50:35,432 --> 00:50:36,399 I'm an actress. 1314 00:50:36,499 --> 00:50:37,699 That's what I have been trying to tell you. 1315 00:50:37,799 --> 00:50:40,233 She is an actress, therefore she cannot be a waitress. 1316 00:50:40,333 --> 00:50:41,334 Be gone, child. 1317 00:50:41,434 --> 00:50:42,433 Oh, for goodness sake, George. 1318 00:50:42,533 --> 00:50:43,701 You've got it all backwards. 1319 00:50:43,801 --> 00:50:46,969 If she is an actress, then she must be a waitress. 1320 00:50:47,067 --> 00:50:49,569 Have you forgotten that I was a waitress when you met me? 1321 00:50:49,667 --> 00:50:51,336 You were a waitress? 1322 00:50:51,436 --> 00:50:52,301 And an actress. 1323 00:50:52,401 --> 00:50:53,236 Now, Millie. 1324 00:50:53,336 --> 00:50:55,502 And I could have been a star, too, 1325 00:50:55,602 --> 00:50:59,138 If Mr. Bigshot here hadn't been left over from the Middle Ages 1326 00:50:59,238 --> 00:51:00,603 And made me quit. 1327 00:51:00,704 --> 00:51:03,071 Mr. Bellman, shame on you. 1328 00:51:03,171 --> 00:51:04,139 Now, wait a minute. 1329 00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:05,671 Now, you wait a minute, George. 1330 00:51:05,772 --> 00:51:07,006 Honey, have you been trying to get 1331 00:51:07,106 --> 00:51:09,406 My husband to give you a part in one of his productions? 1332 00:51:09,506 --> 00:51:11,006 All I want is an audition. 1333 00:51:11,106 --> 00:51:13,406 I'm not asking for any special favors. 1334 00:51:13,506 --> 00:51:14,207 No. 1335 00:51:14,307 --> 00:51:15,206 N-O. No audition. 1336 00:51:15,306 --> 00:51:16,975 George, I am not going to let you stand 1337 00:51:17,075 --> 00:51:18,274 In the way of this girl's career the way 1338 00:51:18,374 --> 00:51:19,542 You stood in the way of mine. 1339 00:51:19,642 --> 00:51:22,842 But I've already promised Joan of Arc to Laura Ball. 1340 00:51:22,942 --> 00:51:24,376 Laura Ball? 1341 00:51:24,476 --> 00:51:26,409 That old bag? 1342 00:51:26,509 --> 00:51:28,476 Now, how do you expect a woman older than I 1343 00:51:28,576 --> 00:51:31,544 Am to plan an 18-year-old girl? 1344 00:51:31,644 --> 00:51:34,979 Please, Mr. Bellman, just give me a chance. 1345 00:51:35,079 --> 00:51:35,778 All right. 1346 00:51:35,878 --> 00:51:36,578 All right? 1347 00:51:36,678 --> 00:51:37,379 All right! 1348 00:51:37,479 --> 00:51:38,578 All right. 1349 00:51:38,678 --> 00:51:40,946 If you promise you'll leave me alone afterwards. 1350 00:51:41,046 --> 00:51:44,413 But as far as I'm concerned, Laura Ball is still Joan. 1351 00:51:44,513 --> 00:51:45,546 MILLIE: Eww. 1352 00:51:45,646 --> 00:51:47,014 Now, do you still want that audition or not? 1353 00:51:47,114 --> 00:51:47,815 Yes! 1354 00:51:47,915 --> 00:51:49,214 Yes! 1355 00:51:49,314 --> 00:51:52,582 Oh, just don't let me see your face until Friday in my office. 1356 00:51:52,682 --> 00:51:54,349 And don't bring your steno pad. 1357 00:51:54,449 --> 00:51:56,249 And don't bring your horse. 1358 00:51:56,349 --> 00:51:59,817 And don't bring your friend the court jester. 1359 00:51:59,917 --> 00:52:00,617 [Inaudible]. 1360 00:52:00,716 --> 00:52:02,551 I did it. 1361 00:52:02,651 --> 00:52:04,517 I did it. 1362 00:52:04,617 --> 00:52:05,984 Yay! 1363 00:52:06,084 --> 00:52:08,885 [Inaudible]. 1364 00:52:08,985 --> 00:52:10,053 Jennifer, are you sure you're going 1365 00:52:10,153 --> 00:52:11,552 To be able to lock up alone? 1366 00:52:11,652 --> 00:52:12,754 - Oh, sure. - All right. 1367 00:52:12,854 --> 00:52:13,552 Thanks, kid. 1368 00:52:13,652 --> 00:52:14,787 Appreciate it. 1369 00:52:14,887 --> 00:52:15,587 Bye bye. 1370 00:52:15,687 --> 00:52:16,519 Oh, Andrea. 1371 00:52:16,619 --> 00:52:17,520 Congratulations on your audition. 1372 00:52:17,620 --> 00:52:19,087 Thanks. 1373 00:52:19,187 --> 00:52:20,121 Thanks again. 1374 00:52:20,221 --> 00:52:21,354 WOMAN (VOICEOVER): When you're looking 1375 00:52:21,454 --> 00:52:23,620 For a perfect relationship, don't be afraid to try 1376 00:52:23,721 --> 00:52:25,222 Something a little different. 1377 00:52:25,322 --> 00:52:26,321 Who knows? 1378 00:52:26,421 --> 00:52:30,657 You may learn something, and you may like it. 1379 00:52:30,758 --> 00:52:35,024 Hey, sugar! [Laugh] How you doing? 1380 00:52:35,124 --> 00:52:38,991 Sugar, you can hold out longer than most. 1381 00:52:39,091 --> 00:52:42,459 [Laugh] I gotta hand it to you. 1382 00:52:42,559 --> 00:52:43,959 Ah! 1383 00:52:44,059 --> 00:52:45,460 Ah! 1384 00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:46,459 Ah. 1385 00:52:46,559 --> 00:52:49,460 [Laugh] Oh. 1386 00:52:49,560 --> 00:52:51,961 Oh. 1387 00:52:52,061 --> 00:52:53,562 You know, you've been here a week, 1388 00:52:53,662 --> 00:52:56,463 And we still haven't gotten together. 1389 00:52:56,561 --> 00:52:58,730 When are you going to come up to my apartment? 1390 00:52:58,830 --> 00:52:59,695 Ha. 1391 00:52:59,796 --> 00:53:00,496 Whoa! 1392 00:53:04,196 --> 00:53:06,930 You all right? 1393 00:53:07,030 --> 00:53:11,199 A person could get killed working at this. 1394 00:53:11,299 --> 00:53:12,732 [Inaudible] 1395 00:53:12,832 --> 00:53:13,967 [Laugh] What am I gonna do with this? 1396 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,667 Well, what do you say, sugar? 1397 00:53:20,768 --> 00:53:22,400 Do you want to come on over to my apartment? 1398 00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:23,234 Huh? 1399 00:53:23,334 --> 00:53:24,369 Huh? 1400 00:53:24,467 --> 00:53:26,402 You know, it's like they say on the [inaudible]. 1401 00:53:26,502 --> 00:53:31,170 You've tried the rest, now try the best. 1402 00:53:31,270 --> 00:53:34,970 Hey, I want you to know that I really appreciate this... 1403 00:53:35,070 --> 00:53:37,703 Just me and you, no roommates. 1404 00:53:37,804 --> 00:53:38,772 It's a miracle. 1405 00:53:38,872 --> 00:53:42,139 [Laugh] Well, I admit it took some doing. 1406 00:53:42,237 --> 00:53:44,173 I had to get Barbara theater tickets 1407 00:53:44,273 --> 00:53:45,505 To make her go out tonight. 1408 00:53:45,605 --> 00:53:47,572 Wouldn't have that problem if we had a place of our own, 1409 00:53:47,672 --> 00:53:48,406 You know. 1410 00:53:48,506 --> 00:53:49,374 Can it. 1411 00:53:49,474 --> 00:53:51,240 Now, I promised you a quiet evening, 1412 00:53:51,340 --> 00:53:53,640 And that's what you're going to get. 1413 00:53:53,741 --> 00:53:55,808 Mmm, and I promised you lots of champagne. 1414 00:53:55,908 --> 00:53:59,509 And that's just one of the things you're going to get. 1415 00:53:59,609 --> 00:54:04,710 [Laugh] [inaudible], sugar. 1416 00:54:04,811 --> 00:54:08,510 I'm so glad you could stop by. 1417 00:54:08,610 --> 00:54:10,477 [Laugh] 1418 00:54:11,244 --> 00:54:11,945 [Inaudible] 1419 00:54:17,979 --> 00:54:21,814 [Laugh] 1420 00:54:28,347 --> 00:54:30,216 Woo! 1421 00:54:30,316 --> 00:54:32,183 [Creepy laugh] 1422 00:54:33,783 --> 00:54:36,817 Now, that'll keep us safe from any of them... 1423 00:54:36,917 --> 00:54:41,117 Uh, mmm, New York prevert muggers. 1424 00:54:41,217 --> 00:54:44,952 [Laugh] Come on in here, sugar. 1425 00:54:45,052 --> 00:54:47,352 Just make yourself at home. 1426 00:54:47,452 --> 00:54:48,786 Ooh. 1427 00:54:48,886 --> 00:54:50,720 Oh. 1428 00:54:50,819 --> 00:54:52,888 Let me ask you something, sugar. 1429 00:54:52,988 --> 00:54:59,388 Are you the kind of girl that likes, uh, music? 1430 00:54:59,488 --> 00:55:00,389 - Oh, sure. - (YELLING) Hey! 1431 00:55:00,489 --> 00:55:01,188 Hey! 1432 00:55:01,288 --> 00:55:02,455 I knew you are. 1433 00:55:02,555 --> 00:55:06,155 Knew it! [Laugh] I'm going to put some on right now. 1434 00:55:06,255 --> 00:55:09,156 Ooh, wee! 1435 00:55:09,256 --> 00:55:10,157 Oh, Jerry. 1436 00:55:10,257 --> 00:55:12,157 [Gagging] 1437 00:55:12,257 --> 00:55:13,656 Barbara. 1438 00:55:13,757 --> 00:55:15,158 Is that champagne? 1439 00:55:15,258 --> 00:55:16,958 I thought I smelled it from my room. 1440 00:55:17,058 --> 00:55:18,526 What about the theater? 1441 00:55:18,626 --> 00:55:19,658 Uh, I canceled. 1442 00:55:19,759 --> 00:55:23,094 My stomach is upset and my nose is runny. 1443 00:55:23,194 --> 00:55:24,794 Sorry I can't offer you any food, 1444 00:55:24,894 --> 00:55:27,060 But we weren't expecting any third parties. 1445 00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,094 Do you mind if I ask you a quick question? 1446 00:55:29,194 --> 00:55:33,662 How can you smell champagne from your room with a cold? 1447 00:55:33,763 --> 00:55:34,595 Yeah. 1448 00:55:34,695 --> 00:55:36,461 Ahh... [sneeze]. 1449 00:55:36,561 --> 00:55:37,797 [Doorbell] 1450 00:55:37,897 --> 00:55:38,597 I'll get it. 1451 00:55:41,596 --> 00:55:42,964 [Doorbell] 1452 00:55:43,064 --> 00:55:43,799 Yeah. 1453 00:55:43,899 --> 00:55:44,597 Howdy. 1454 00:55:44,697 --> 00:55:45,799 Bob Cobb, here. 1455 00:55:45,899 --> 00:55:47,064 Is Syd here? Uh, Syd? 1456 00:55:47,164 --> 00:55:48,132 Wait a minute. 1457 00:55:48,232 --> 00:55:49,865 Is that champagne I smell? 1458 00:55:49,965 --> 00:55:52,165 Get out the way, son! 1459 00:55:52,265 --> 00:55:53,566 [Doorbell] 1460 00:55:53,666 --> 00:55:54,365 Yeah. 1461 00:55:54,465 --> 00:55:55,200 Evenin'. 1462 00:55:55,300 --> 00:55:56,667 The name's Hallsy, the plumber. 1463 00:55:56,766 --> 00:55:59,400 I'm here about the marble sinks. 1464 00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:00,267 Marble sinks? 1465 00:56:00,367 --> 00:56:03,135 Well, [laugh] don't float. 1466 00:56:03,235 --> 00:56:04,136 MAN: This music sucks. 1467 00:56:04,236 --> 00:56:05,535 I'm going to put on some real music. 1468 00:56:05,635 --> 00:56:06,336 Ho. 1469 00:56:06,436 --> 00:56:07,435 Evening sir. 1470 00:56:07,535 --> 00:56:10,069 Fred Zebo is the name, and dirt is my game. 1471 00:56:10,169 --> 00:56:12,003 And I have a little idea that you're not going to believe... 1472 00:56:12,103 --> 00:56:13,237 A little machine here. 1473 00:56:13,337 --> 00:56:15,470 It steams, it cleans, it dreams. 1474 00:56:15,570 --> 00:56:18,271 If you'll just allow me to trash up 1475 00:56:18,371 --> 00:56:22,571 Your already filthy carpet... Pretty grisly sight, 1476 00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:23,639 You might say. 1477 00:56:23,739 --> 00:56:25,672 What the hell's going on, you might ask? 1478 00:56:25,773 --> 00:56:27,907 Well, have no fear, Fred Zebo here. 1479 00:56:28,007 --> 00:56:31,108 I'm going to introduce you to the little machine that 1480 00:56:31,208 --> 00:56:32,407 Cleans, and steams, it dreams. 1481 00:56:32,507 --> 00:56:34,375 It can do more tricks than a $5 whore on Friday night, 1482 00:56:34,475 --> 00:56:37,143 And it has better sucking action, too. 1483 00:56:37,243 --> 00:56:38,075 It do. It do. 1484 00:56:38,175 --> 00:56:38,876 It did. 1485 00:56:38,976 --> 00:56:39,844 It usually does. 1486 00:56:39,942 --> 00:56:40,642 [Doorbell] 1487 00:56:40,742 --> 00:56:41,443 Yeah. 1488 00:56:41,543 --> 00:56:42,377 You Wellhung? 1489 00:56:42,475 --> 00:56:43,443 What? 1490 00:56:43,543 --> 00:56:45,743 This apartment of Mr. and Mrs. Wellhung? 1491 00:56:45,844 --> 00:56:48,144 No. 1492 00:56:48,244 --> 00:56:52,546 [Inaudible] schmuck gave me the wrong address. 1493 00:56:52,644 --> 00:56:53,578 I come in useful? 1494 00:56:53,678 --> 00:56:54,379 Uh, yeah. 1495 00:56:54,479 --> 00:56:55,178 Go ahead. 1496 00:56:55,278 --> 00:56:56,079 Pizza. 1497 00:56:56,179 --> 00:56:57,180 Hey, buddy! 1498 00:56:57,280 --> 00:56:57,979 [Inaudible] 1499 00:57:02,748 --> 00:57:08,315 [Laugh] I find that rhythm kind of, uh, sensuous, myself. 1500 00:57:08,415 --> 00:57:11,850 [Laugh] So, sugar, what do you think of my spread, huh? 1501 00:57:11,950 --> 00:57:15,817 [Laugh] Oh, you don't have to answer. 1502 00:57:15,917 --> 00:57:17,351 See, cause I know. 1503 00:57:17,451 --> 00:57:18,283 See, I know. 1504 00:57:18,383 --> 00:57:21,084 I know all the girls at work. 1505 00:57:21,184 --> 00:57:27,686 [Inaudible] told you about my... ooh... my home. 1506 00:57:27,787 --> 00:57:28,652 Ooh. 1507 00:57:28,752 --> 00:57:29,553 Entertain me. 1508 00:57:29,653 --> 00:57:30,354 [Inaudible] 1509 00:57:54,125 --> 00:57:56,158 ROBOT VOICE: You will receive pleasure. 1510 00:57:56,258 --> 00:57:58,758 MOE: Hey, sugar! 1511 00:57:58,859 --> 00:57:59,559 Ooh, woo! 1512 00:58:04,760 --> 00:58:08,162 (SINGING) Love on the street, serving New 1513 00:58:08,262 --> 00:58:11,962 York's elite all night long. 1514 00:58:15,496 --> 00:58:17,363 Oooh! 1515 00:58:17,463 --> 00:58:19,831 [Inaudible] 1516 00:58:19,931 --> 00:58:21,365 Ooh. 1517 00:58:21,463 --> 00:58:22,431 OK, filly. 1518 00:58:22,531 --> 00:58:28,266 Let's see how you do on the quarter mile. 1519 00:58:28,366 --> 00:58:29,132 No, Moe! 1520 00:58:29,232 --> 00:58:29,933 No, no. 1521 00:58:30,033 --> 00:58:31,632 Moan, when you say that. 1522 00:58:45,536 --> 00:58:47,402 Operator, connect me with [inaudible]. 1523 00:58:52,437 --> 00:58:56,772 Hey, Mr. Don't make joke on me. [Inaudible] champagne. 1524 00:58:56,873 --> 00:58:57,771 [Inaudible] champagne? 1525 00:58:57,872 --> 00:58:58,772 Is this like sake? 1526 00:58:58,873 --> 00:58:59,571 Sake to me! 1527 00:58:59,671 --> 00:59:00,705 [Knocking] 1528 00:59:00,806 --> 00:59:03,941 [Laughter] 1529 00:59:04,041 --> 00:59:04,940 OK. 1530 00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:07,907 OK, sugar. 1531 00:59:08,007 --> 00:59:08,908 I get it. 1532 00:59:09,008 --> 00:59:10,875 I get it. 1533 00:59:10,975 --> 00:59:15,042 You're the kind of girl that likes [inaudible]. 1534 00:59:15,142 --> 00:59:15,843 Hey! 1535 00:59:15,943 --> 00:59:16,844 Are you crazy or something? 1536 00:59:16,944 --> 00:59:18,343 That's my favorite blouse. 1537 00:59:18,443 --> 00:59:19,843 Hey, woo hoo! 1538 00:59:19,943 --> 00:59:21,310 Here we go! 1539 00:59:21,410 --> 00:59:25,610 [Laugh] Whoa. 1540 00:59:25,710 --> 00:59:26,611 Woo hoo! 1541 00:59:26,711 --> 00:59:29,079 [Laugh] 1542 00:59:29,179 --> 00:59:31,579 Oh, Moe. 1543 00:59:31,679 --> 00:59:33,079 Yeah? 1544 00:59:33,179 --> 00:59:34,580 You know, you're really good. 1545 00:59:34,680 --> 00:59:36,080 Oh, I know. 1546 00:59:36,180 --> 00:59:39,081 The girls told you, huh? [Laugh] 1547 00:59:39,181 --> 00:59:41,548 Can I... can I tell you how I really like it? 1548 00:59:41,648 --> 00:59:43,548 Oh, sure, sugar. 1549 00:59:43,648 --> 00:59:45,648 When it comes to you out-of-town babes, 1550 00:59:45,748 --> 00:59:48,449 You're all the same to Big Moe. 1551 00:59:48,549 --> 00:59:51,750 [Laugh] 1552 00:59:51,851 --> 00:59:54,417 See, the reason I left Indiana? 1553 00:59:54,517 --> 00:59:55,616 Yeah. 1554 00:59:55,716 --> 01:00:01,518 Well, uh, it's because I like it kinky. 1555 01:00:01,618 --> 01:00:03,919 Kinky? 1556 01:00:04,019 --> 01:00:06,419 Did you say kinky? 1557 01:00:06,519 --> 01:00:07,220 Kinky? 1558 01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:08,319 Oh, wee! 1559 01:00:08,419 --> 01:00:09,187 Kinky! 1560 01:00:09,287 --> 01:00:10,987 Oh, she likes it kinky. 1561 01:00:11,087 --> 01:00:11,988 Did you hear that, dude? 1562 01:00:12,088 --> 01:00:13,220 That means she likes it kinky. 1563 01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,321 Sugar, I'll do whatever way you want to. [Laugh] 1564 01:00:16,421 --> 01:00:18,057 I'm sorry. 1565 01:00:18,157 --> 01:00:19,489 Look, I'll make it up to you. 1566 01:00:19,589 --> 01:00:21,389 Next time, I'll take you out to eat. 1567 01:00:21,489 --> 01:00:23,722 Oh, that's very nice... very nice. 1568 01:00:23,823 --> 01:00:26,057 Except I work in a restaurant six days a week. 1569 01:00:26,157 --> 01:00:27,791 I don't want to go to one on my night off. 1570 01:00:27,892 --> 01:00:30,059 Well, what's the alternative? 1571 01:00:30,159 --> 01:00:32,259 The alternative is getting a place of our own. 1572 01:00:32,359 --> 01:00:33,326 Hey. 1573 01:00:33,426 --> 01:00:34,492 This would be a nice place for the phone. 1574 01:00:34,592 --> 01:00:35,593 Listen. 1575 01:00:35,693 --> 01:00:36,826 How come every time I try to talk to you, 1576 01:00:36,926 --> 01:00:39,160 I have to hear about Joan of Arc? 1577 01:00:39,260 --> 01:00:41,660 Did you say want the [inaudible]? 1578 01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:43,927 Because that just happens to be the most important 1579 01:00:44,027 --> 01:00:45,829 Thing in my life right now. 1580 01:00:45,929 --> 01:00:48,663 Well, if you feel that stubbornly about it. 1581 01:00:48,761 --> 01:00:50,496 [Inaudible]. 1582 01:00:50,596 --> 01:00:51,262 What did you say? 1583 01:00:51,362 --> 01:00:52,463 We got parts. 1584 01:00:52,563 --> 01:00:55,364 It even has a special glass-cleaning attachment. 1585 01:00:55,464 --> 01:00:57,130 Maybe I ought to get one of them things for my wife. 1586 01:00:57,230 --> 01:00:58,498 Your wife! 1587 01:00:58,598 --> 01:01:01,232 You didn't tell me that you were married, you [inaudible]! 1588 01:01:01,332 --> 01:01:02,031 Admit it. 1589 01:01:02,131 --> 01:01:03,466 You were [inaudible]. 1590 01:01:03,566 --> 01:01:07,867 You have the idea of [inaudible] just as important as yours. 1591 01:01:07,967 --> 01:01:08,868 You [inaudible]. 1592 01:01:08,968 --> 01:01:10,133 Goddammit, that's right. 1593 01:01:10,233 --> 01:01:12,868 I hate your acting, and I hate your goddamn women's 1594 01:01:12,968 --> 01:01:14,167 Lib and [inaudible]. 1595 01:01:14,267 --> 01:01:15,902 Because if you were really so independent, 1596 01:01:16,002 --> 01:01:18,903 You wouldn't be so afraid of getting more involved with me. 1597 01:01:19,003 --> 01:01:19,902 [Inaudible]. 1598 01:01:20,002 --> 01:01:25,837 You... you... you male chauvinist pig! 1599 01:01:25,937 --> 01:01:28,804 Oh, so [inaudible] male chauvinist pig. 1600 01:01:28,905 --> 01:01:30,637 I'll give you chauvinist pig. 1601 01:01:30,737 --> 01:01:32,271 From now on, when you come into my restaurant, 1602 01:01:32,371 --> 01:01:36,006 You punch my o'clock and you become my waitress. 1603 01:01:36,106 --> 01:01:40,907 So that's Mr. Male Chauvinist, a bleh-bleh-bleh, pig to you! 1604 01:01:41,007 --> 01:01:44,341 Well, Joan and I won't be coming into your restaurant 1605 01:01:44,441 --> 01:01:46,275 Anymore. 1606 01:01:46,375 --> 01:01:47,740 Oh. 1607 01:01:47,841 --> 01:01:49,707 [Inaudible], how are you doing? 1608 01:01:49,807 --> 01:01:52,641 [Inaudible] tormenting you. 1609 01:01:52,741 --> 01:01:55,609 Girls have got to stick together. 1610 01:01:55,709 --> 01:01:57,309 This, you lousy hippie. 1611 01:01:57,409 --> 01:01:59,078 Well, if it's on the carpet, we'll 1612 01:01:59,178 --> 01:02:01,178 Just clean it up with our special cocaine attachment. 1613 01:02:05,644 --> 01:02:07,611 [Laugh] For a filly from Indiana, you sure 1614 01:02:07,711 --> 01:02:10,312 Know a lot about men, sugar. 1615 01:02:10,412 --> 01:02:12,314 [Inaudible] begin? 1616 01:02:12,414 --> 01:02:13,280 [Laugh] 1617 01:02:13,380 --> 01:02:14,747 Just a second, Moe. 1618 01:02:14,848 --> 01:02:17,348 I don't want this to be over too quickly. 1619 01:02:17,448 --> 01:02:18,214 Ooh, wee. 1620 01:02:18,314 --> 01:02:19,648 I really want to enjoy this. 1621 01:02:19,748 --> 01:02:23,916 Yeah, so do I. Hey, sugar. 1622 01:02:24,016 --> 01:02:25,615 What you putting your clothes on for? 1623 01:02:25,715 --> 01:02:27,650 Are you sure you're still turned on? 1624 01:02:27,748 --> 01:02:30,018 Oh, listen to this. 1625 01:02:30,118 --> 01:02:31,885 [Breathing heavily] 1626 01:02:31,985 --> 01:02:32,850 Ahh. 1627 01:02:32,950 --> 01:02:35,019 I still have a [inaudible]. 1628 01:02:35,119 --> 01:02:35,817 Come on, sugar. 1629 01:02:35,918 --> 01:02:36,919 Let's get going. 1630 01:02:37,019 --> 01:02:37,719 I can't wait. 1631 01:02:37,819 --> 01:02:39,252 Ooh, boy, I'm happy. 1632 01:02:39,352 --> 01:02:42,353 [Laugh] Hey, sugar. 1633 01:02:42,453 --> 01:02:43,586 Hey, what you all doing? 1634 01:02:43,686 --> 01:02:44,620 Ooh. We're going for a ride. 1635 01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:45,421 Wait. 1636 01:02:45,519 --> 01:02:46,888 Wait a minute, sugar. 1637 01:02:46,988 --> 01:02:48,453 The bedroom's the other way. 1638 01:02:48,553 --> 01:02:49,855 This is to the hallway, sugar. 1639 01:02:49,955 --> 01:02:53,088 Uh, hey, sugar, what kind of kinky is this? 1640 01:02:53,188 --> 01:02:55,356 Sugar, I'm losing my hard on. 1641 01:02:55,456 --> 01:02:57,823 Sugar, oh, it's a joke, right? 1642 01:02:57,924 --> 01:03:00,224 [Laugh] Nice joke. [Inaudible]. 1643 01:03:00,324 --> 01:03:01,590 Sugar, I'm not laughing anymore. 1644 01:03:01,690 --> 01:03:02,424 Jennifer, wait a minute. 1645 01:03:02,524 --> 01:03:04,257 Aren't you forgetting something? 1646 01:03:04,357 --> 01:03:07,492 Say, you actually called me by my human name. 1647 01:03:07,592 --> 01:03:09,558 You're learning, sugar. 1648 01:03:09,658 --> 01:03:10,493 But you're right. 1649 01:03:10,593 --> 01:03:11,492 There is something I'm forgetting. 1650 01:03:19,827 --> 01:03:20,528 Jennifer. 1651 01:03:24,962 --> 01:03:26,328 Uh. 1652 01:03:26,428 --> 01:03:27,829 Good evening, folks. 1653 01:03:27,930 --> 01:03:31,296 [Laugh] Uh, just checking out hallway security here. 1654 01:03:31,396 --> 01:03:35,264 You know... any strange happenings lately or anything? 1655 01:03:35,364 --> 01:03:38,265 [Laugh] 1656 01:03:38,365 --> 01:03:40,399 Miss [inaudible], reserve me a table for eight 1657 01:03:40,499 --> 01:03:42,132 At the restaurant for Friday. 1658 01:03:42,232 --> 01:03:45,466 [Inaudible], I'm bringing some important stockholders. 1659 01:03:45,566 --> 01:03:49,166 Make sure that my daughter is on her best behavior. 1660 01:03:49,266 --> 01:03:50,034 Yes, sir. 1661 01:03:50,134 --> 01:03:51,235 [Inaudible]. 1662 01:03:51,335 --> 01:03:53,202 I haven't seen Mrs. Margolis around here lately. 1663 01:03:53,302 --> 01:03:54,567 Oh, [inaudible]. I know. 1664 01:03:54,667 --> 01:03:55,435 I gave her the boot. 1665 01:03:55,535 --> 01:03:56,834 You what? 1666 01:03:56,935 --> 01:04:00,469 [Inaudible] I told her not to come back unless she had cash. 1667 01:04:00,569 --> 01:04:01,802 Really? 1668 01:04:01,903 --> 01:04:03,237 (YELLING) Are you crazy? 1669 01:04:03,337 --> 01:04:04,336 I thought it would please you. 1670 01:04:04,436 --> 01:04:05,504 I mean, you [inaudible]. [interposing voices] 1671 01:04:05,604 --> 01:04:06,505 Oh, yeah. 1672 01:04:06,605 --> 01:04:07,370 I'm delighted that you gave the boot 1673 01:04:07,470 --> 01:04:08,205 To the woman who gave me my start 1674 01:04:08,305 --> 01:04:09,737 In the restaurant business. 1675 01:04:09,837 --> 01:04:11,139 That bag woman? 1676 01:04:11,239 --> 01:04:13,206 That bag woman happened to have been one of the greatest chefs 1677 01:04:13,306 --> 01:04:15,539 In the City of New York, until she developed 1678 01:04:15,639 --> 01:04:17,439 A tragic allergy to Teflon. 1679 01:04:17,539 --> 01:04:18,240 Oh, Jerry. 1680 01:04:18,340 --> 01:04:19,041 I'm sorry. 1681 01:04:19,141 --> 01:04:20,974 I really am. 1682 01:04:21,074 --> 01:04:22,640 Just like you were sorry about all the other crap 1683 01:04:22,740 --> 01:04:24,209 You pulled here, and getting Pievault drunk. 1684 01:04:24,309 --> 01:04:25,008 Right. 1685 01:04:25,108 --> 01:04:26,542 Look, I said, I was sorry. 1686 01:04:26,642 --> 01:04:28,109 Now there's no need to talk to me that way. 1687 01:04:28,209 --> 01:04:28,976 Hey, now wait a minute. 1688 01:04:29,076 --> 01:04:29,875 As long as I run this restaurant, 1689 01:04:29,975 --> 01:04:31,743 I'll talk to you anyway I want. 1690 01:04:31,843 --> 01:04:33,010 As long as I run this restaurant, 1691 01:04:33,110 --> 01:04:33,977 As long as I run this family! 1692 01:04:34,077 --> 01:04:35,243 You sound just like my father. 1693 01:04:35,343 --> 01:04:38,711 Anybody with an IQ over 75 could run this restaurant. 1694 01:04:38,811 --> 01:04:39,944 Oh yeah? 1695 01:04:40,044 --> 01:04:41,545 Then why don't you make that an IQ of 25, and you've 1696 01:04:41,645 --> 01:04:42,444 Got the job. 1697 01:04:42,544 --> 01:04:44,279 And what's that supposed to mean? 1698 01:04:44,379 --> 01:04:46,679 It means, you little shit, you inherited 1699 01:04:46,779 --> 01:04:49,280 Your daddy's business a little ahead of schedule, 1700 01:04:49,380 --> 01:04:50,813 Because I quit. 1701 01:04:50,914 --> 01:04:53,547 It's all yours, Ms. Cavendish. 1702 01:04:53,647 --> 01:04:55,847 All yours... the whole kit and caboodle. 1703 01:04:55,948 --> 01:04:57,416 The paint's peeling in the kitchen. 1704 01:04:57,514 --> 01:04:58,748 The stove leaks gas. 1705 01:04:58,848 --> 01:05:00,481 And we're down one waitress since Joan of Marty 1706 01:05:00,581 --> 01:05:02,217 Has been riding out of here. 1707 01:05:02,317 --> 01:05:03,182 Oh, yes. 1708 01:05:03,282 --> 01:05:04,951 You might be interested about a very 1709 01:05:05,051 --> 01:05:08,383 Special party we have coming in... the Cavendish party. 1710 01:05:08,483 --> 01:05:09,184 Good luck. 1711 01:05:09,284 --> 01:05:10,317 Daddy? 1712 01:05:10,417 --> 01:05:11,118 Oh, no. 1713 01:05:17,818 --> 01:05:19,420 MALE (ON SPEAKER): The chocolate fondue [inaudible] 1714 01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:21,353 On [inaudible]. 1715 01:05:21,453 --> 01:05:22,154 Borcht! 1716 01:05:22,254 --> 01:05:23,286 Borcht! 1717 01:05:23,386 --> 01:05:25,355 A goat cheese omelette on rye on a [inaudible]. 1718 01:05:25,453 --> 01:05:27,355 [Inaudible] to the Star Light Room. 1719 01:05:27,455 --> 01:05:29,889 [Inaudible] 1720 01:05:29,989 --> 01:05:32,723 Hey! [Inaudible], get back to work! 1721 01:05:32,823 --> 01:05:33,788 [Inaudible] 1722 01:05:33,889 --> 01:05:34,556 You really should try the borscht here. 1723 01:05:34,656 --> 01:05:35,889 It's absolutely excellent. 1724 01:05:35,989 --> 01:05:38,689 It's better than the borscht I had when I went to Russia. 1725 01:05:38,789 --> 01:05:40,191 Oh, I'm so impressed. 1726 01:05:40,291 --> 01:05:41,925 I told you to serve those rolls. 1727 01:05:42,025 --> 01:05:43,524 Want some rolls, sir? 1728 01:05:43,624 --> 01:05:45,426 I'll serve some rolls. 1729 01:05:45,526 --> 01:05:48,258 Here's my first serve. 1730 01:05:48,358 --> 01:05:52,160 [Inaudible], lousy service, 1731 01:05:52,260 --> 01:05:53,626 What do you think you're doing? 1732 01:05:53,726 --> 01:05:55,094 I'm celebrating. 1733 01:05:55,194 --> 01:05:57,294 [Inaudible] 1734 01:05:57,394 --> 01:05:58,062 [Inaudible] 1735 01:06:01,661 --> 01:06:03,396 I am [inaudible]. 1736 01:06:03,494 --> 01:06:05,196 [Inaudible], you're blitzed. 1737 01:06:05,296 --> 01:06:06,930 Liquor has not touched my lips. 1738 01:06:07,030 --> 01:06:07,997 Oh no? 1739 01:06:08,097 --> 01:06:10,431 Then you must have developed a shortcut. 1740 01:06:10,531 --> 01:06:12,932 I've got 70 customers out there. 1741 01:06:13,032 --> 01:06:14,431 One more drink, [inaudible]. 1742 01:06:14,531 --> 01:06:15,899 And then I begin to [inaudible]. 1743 01:06:15,999 --> 01:06:16,898 Absolutely not. 1744 01:06:16,998 --> 01:06:18,399 You've had plenty already. 1745 01:06:18,499 --> 01:06:20,900 Lindsay, you'd better give it to him. 1746 01:06:21,000 --> 01:06:23,899 Even Jerry lets him have a nip now and then. 1747 01:06:23,999 --> 01:06:25,400 [Inaudible]. 1748 01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:27,367 Now, get over here and get to work! 1749 01:06:27,467 --> 01:06:29,867 Hey. [Inaudible] boss me in my kitchen? 1750 01:06:29,968 --> 01:06:32,368 I run this [inaudible] kitchen. 1751 01:06:32,468 --> 01:06:35,869 [Inaudible], but I am good [inaudible], 1752 01:06:35,970 --> 01:06:38,837 And you are lousy [inaudible]. 1753 01:06:38,938 --> 01:06:41,836 [Inaudible], I've got customers out there, 1754 01:06:41,937 --> 01:06:45,838 And I'm not going to keep them waiting for this beet shit! 1755 01:06:45,939 --> 01:06:47,338 Beet shit? 1756 01:06:47,438 --> 01:06:48,339 Beet shit? 1757 01:06:48,439 --> 01:06:50,305 I spit in your beet shit! 1758 01:06:50,405 --> 01:06:51,306 [Spits] 1759 01:06:51,406 --> 01:06:54,305 Well, [inaudible] do it also! 1760 01:06:54,405 --> 01:06:56,507 I spit again in your beet shit! [Spits] 1761 01:06:56,607 --> 01:06:57,640 Hey! 1762 01:06:57,740 --> 01:07:00,274 I want to get me some of that spit in there, too. 1763 01:07:00,374 --> 01:07:02,975 [Speaking spanish] beet shit! [Spits] 1764 01:07:03,075 --> 01:07:03,909 No way. 1765 01:07:04,009 --> 01:07:04,741 I've been working here four years. 1766 01:07:04,841 --> 01:07:05,542 I'm going to spit in this shit. 1767 01:07:05,642 --> 01:07:06,709 Oh, what is happening here? 1768 01:07:06,809 --> 01:07:07,508 Wait. 1769 01:07:07,608 --> 01:07:08,309 No. 1770 01:07:08,409 --> 01:07:09,277 [Inaudible]. 1771 01:07:09,377 --> 01:07:10,076 Wait. 1772 01:07:10,176 --> 01:07:13,244 Everybody, please stop. 1773 01:07:13,344 --> 01:07:15,744 Wait! 1774 01:07:15,844 --> 01:07:18,245 [Gunshot] 1775 01:07:18,345 --> 01:07:20,245 [Commotion] 1776 01:07:20,345 --> 01:07:25,212 When a Russian spits in his borscht, it is still borscht. 1777 01:07:25,312 --> 01:07:29,980 When an American spits in it, it is [inaudible]. 1778 01:07:30,080 --> 01:07:31,214 I quit! 1779 01:07:31,314 --> 01:07:32,049 Dasvidanya, douchebag. 1780 01:07:34,749 --> 01:07:36,315 MAN: Come back, [inaudible]. 1781 01:07:36,415 --> 01:07:37,116 I quit! 1782 01:07:37,216 --> 01:07:38,082 You hear it? 1783 01:07:38,182 --> 01:07:40,049 I quit! 1784 01:07:40,149 --> 01:07:41,050 I don't need this. 1785 01:07:41,150 --> 01:07:42,515 I am big-time chef. 1786 01:07:42,615 --> 01:07:43,984 I could work anywhere. 1787 01:07:44,084 --> 01:07:45,483 I don't need it. 1788 01:07:45,583 --> 01:07:46,952 This is [inaudible]. 1789 01:07:47,052 --> 01:07:48,918 You are table 11. 1790 01:07:49,018 --> 01:07:50,884 Excuse me, table 11. 1791 01:07:50,985 --> 01:07:54,353 But I have been hearing you in the kitchen all day, 1792 01:07:54,453 --> 01:07:56,819 Breaking my Russian back. 1793 01:07:56,920 --> 01:07:59,254 [Inaudible] 1794 01:07:59,354 --> 01:08:00,286 [Inaudible] 1795 01:08:00,386 --> 01:08:01,087 Here's your borscht. 1796 01:08:09,656 --> 01:08:13,156 It tastes like beet shit to me. 1797 01:08:13,256 --> 01:08:15,324 It sure beats the shit out of me, too. 1798 01:08:15,424 --> 01:08:16,290 [Inaudible]. 1799 01:08:16,390 --> 01:08:17,291 It's my [inaudible]. 1800 01:08:17,391 --> 01:08:18,257 It's my [inaudible]. 1801 01:08:18,357 --> 01:08:19,258 It is [inaudible]. 1802 01:08:19,358 --> 01:08:21,724 Get away from me. [Inaudible]. 1803 01:08:21,824 --> 01:08:22,692 Don't worry. 1804 01:08:22,792 --> 01:08:24,192 Moe can [inaudible]. 1805 01:08:24,292 --> 01:08:25,658 We'll find someone else later. 1806 01:08:25,758 --> 01:08:26,759 Excuse me, miss. 1807 01:08:26,859 --> 01:08:28,859 I had a reservation here some 20 minutes ago. 1808 01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:30,094 What's going on here? 1809 01:08:30,194 --> 01:08:31,226 I'm really sorry, sir. 1810 01:08:31,326 --> 01:08:32,661 But we're having a small problem in the kitchen. 1811 01:08:32,761 --> 01:08:33,994 I'll seat you as soon as I can. Lindsay. 1812 01:08:34,094 --> 01:08:34,928 Lindsay. 1813 01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:35,927 There's a gas leak in the kitchen. 1814 01:08:36,027 --> 01:08:37,095 Oh my god. Did you call the gas man? 1815 01:08:37,195 --> 01:08:38,461 He can't be here for another hour. [Inaudible] 1816 01:08:38,561 --> 01:08:39,395 Do something with it now. 1817 01:08:39,495 --> 01:08:40,396 I don't know. 1818 01:08:40,496 --> 01:08:42,396 Do something with the [inaudible]. 1819 01:08:42,496 --> 01:08:44,896 Ah! 1820 01:08:44,997 --> 01:08:47,397 [Inaudible]. 1821 01:08:47,497 --> 01:08:49,864 Moe, [inaudible], damnit. 1822 01:08:49,965 --> 01:08:52,865 I'm running 20 minutes late on the [inaudible]. 1823 01:08:52,966 --> 01:08:54,365 Lindsay, I'm doing the best I can. 1824 01:08:54,465 --> 01:08:56,865 Damnit, there's something wrong with that girl. 1825 01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:59,332 [Inaudible] in here. 1826 01:08:59,432 --> 01:09:01,832 And you... you break one more plate, 1827 01:09:01,933 --> 01:09:04,333 And I'm going to cut off those [inaudible] 1828 01:09:04,433 --> 01:09:05,834 Little fingers of yours. 1829 01:09:05,935 --> 01:09:09,234 Well, I reckon [inaudible] singing a different tune. 1830 01:09:09,334 --> 01:09:12,102 Hey, get back to work. 1831 01:09:12,202 --> 01:09:12,902 [Inaudible]. 1832 01:09:15,937 --> 01:09:18,271 We want food. 1833 01:09:18,371 --> 01:09:20,704 We want food. 1834 01:09:20,804 --> 01:09:22,637 We want food. 1835 01:09:22,737 --> 01:09:24,104 We want food. 1836 01:09:24,204 --> 01:09:27,238 The best damn Chicken Kiev I've ever seen. 1837 01:09:27,338 --> 01:09:28,173 The fuck? 1838 01:09:28,273 --> 01:09:30,739 There's something moving in here. 1839 01:09:30,839 --> 01:09:31,607 [Inaudible] 1840 01:09:31,705 --> 01:09:33,040 The damn shit's alive! Help! 1841 01:09:33,140 --> 01:09:33,840 Help! 1842 01:09:33,941 --> 01:09:34,739 It's got me! [Inaudible]. 1843 01:09:34,839 --> 01:09:35,540 Sugar? 1844 01:09:35,640 --> 01:09:37,507 [Inaudible]. 1845 01:09:37,607 --> 01:09:40,508 Everybody, clear out of the kitchen. [Inaudible]. 1846 01:09:40,608 --> 01:09:41,709 Hurry up. 1847 01:09:41,807 --> 01:09:42,508 Oh, no. 1848 01:09:42,608 --> 01:09:44,110 Oh, shoot. Please. 1849 01:09:44,210 --> 01:09:44,976 Help. 1850 01:09:45,076 --> 01:09:46,477 Help me, guys. 1851 01:09:46,577 --> 01:09:47,977 Help me, [inaudible]. 1852 01:09:48,077 --> 01:09:48,978 Run. 1853 01:09:49,078 --> 01:09:50,443 Go get help. 1854 01:09:50,543 --> 01:09:51,943 We want food. 1855 01:09:52,043 --> 01:09:52,944 We want food. 1856 01:09:53,044 --> 01:09:55,444 We want food. 1857 01:09:55,544 --> 01:09:57,911 [Inaudible]. 1858 01:09:58,012 --> 01:10:00,379 This is [inaudible] not my job. 1859 01:10:00,479 --> 01:10:01,446 Hey, Elsa. 1860 01:10:01,546 --> 01:10:02,312 Would you cover that new girl's station? 1861 01:10:02,412 --> 01:10:03,346 I just let her go. I can't. 1862 01:10:03,446 --> 01:10:04,645 I'm already covering Barbara's station. 1863 01:10:04,745 --> 01:10:06,114 Where the hell is Barbara? 1864 01:10:06,214 --> 01:10:07,613 She's at the gynecologist. 1865 01:10:07,713 --> 01:10:08,481 She had her fitting today. 1866 01:10:08,581 --> 01:10:09,615 And Irene's gone, of course. 1867 01:10:09,713 --> 01:10:11,082 Well, my father's coming in tonight with a bunch 1868 01:10:11,182 --> 01:10:12,083 Of important clients. 1869 01:10:17,615 --> 01:10:20,016 At least nothing else can go wrong. 1870 01:10:20,116 --> 01:10:22,984 [Explosion] 1871 01:10:23,084 --> 01:10:24,651 [Glass shattering] 1872 01:10:24,751 --> 01:10:25,450 [Inaudible]. 1873 01:10:28,518 --> 01:10:33,886 [Speaking spanish] 1874 01:10:33,987 --> 01:10:35,386 What are you saying? 1875 01:10:35,486 --> 01:10:37,054 What are you trying to say? 1876 01:10:37,154 --> 01:10:37,953 Ms. Cavendish. 1877 01:10:38,053 --> 01:10:40,253 I'm going to sue your [inaudible]. 1878 01:10:40,353 --> 01:10:43,989 When I finish with you, I'm going [inaudible] restaurant 1879 01:10:44,089 --> 01:10:44,789 [Inaudible]. 1880 01:10:44,889 --> 01:10:47,023 Here's your chicken Kiev. 1881 01:10:47,123 --> 01:10:50,889 And here's your utensils and bread. 1882 01:10:50,990 --> 01:10:54,291 [Commotion] 1883 01:10:55,556 --> 01:10:56,257 [Inaudible]. 1884 01:11:00,026 --> 01:11:01,825 What the hell are you doing? 1885 01:11:01,925 --> 01:11:03,692 Lindsay told me to serve the rolls. 1886 01:11:03,792 --> 01:11:04,626 Ah, [inaudible]. 1887 01:11:04,726 --> 01:11:06,459 Have a piece of chicken. 1888 01:11:06,559 --> 01:11:08,226 Well, that about does it. 1889 01:11:08,326 --> 01:11:11,094 If you read it for George at the audition the way 1890 01:11:11,194 --> 01:11:13,227 You just read it for me, you're a shoe-in. 1891 01:11:13,327 --> 01:11:15,329 Believe me, after 35 years, I know 1892 01:11:15,429 --> 01:11:16,595 What he needs in a Joan of Arc. 1893 01:11:16,695 --> 01:11:19,562 Mrs. Bellman, how can I thank you? 1894 01:11:19,662 --> 01:11:20,861 Oh, it's a pleasure. 1895 01:11:20,962 --> 01:11:23,896 Besides, you remind me of myself at your age. 1896 01:11:23,997 --> 01:11:29,364 Now, Laura Ball reminds me of myself at... my age. 1897 01:11:29,464 --> 01:11:30,165 [Inaudible] 1898 01:11:30,265 --> 01:11:30,964 Thank you. 1899 01:11:37,967 --> 01:11:39,500 Ms. Watson, let me speak to my father. 1900 01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:40,501 Hey. 1901 01:11:40,601 --> 01:11:42,067 When he comes on, tell him I say hi. 1902 01:11:42,167 --> 01:11:42,867 Jerry! 1903 01:11:42,968 --> 01:11:44,534 Uh, uh, Dad? 1904 01:11:44,634 --> 01:11:48,369 I just want to say that, uh, Jerry says hello. 1905 01:11:48,469 --> 01:11:49,635 Uh, well, that's nice, sweetheart. 1906 01:11:49,735 --> 01:11:50,903 Yes. Goodbye. 1907 01:11:51,004 --> 01:11:53,104 Who? 1908 01:11:53,204 --> 01:11:54,469 I was a creep. 1909 01:11:54,569 --> 01:11:56,105 I mean, how were you supposed to know about Mrs. Margolis? 1910 01:11:56,205 --> 01:11:58,205 Gosh. I thought you'd never come back. 1911 01:11:58,305 --> 01:11:59,337 Are you kidding me? 1912 01:11:59,437 --> 01:12:00,538 This place is my career. 1913 01:12:00,638 --> 01:12:01,339 It's my baby. 1914 01:12:01,437 --> 01:12:02,305 It's everything. 1915 01:12:02,405 --> 01:12:03,606 So let's get to work, all right? 1916 01:12:03,706 --> 01:12:05,306 Wait a second. 1917 01:12:05,406 --> 01:12:07,672 Uh, there's a couple of small problems in there. 1918 01:12:07,772 --> 01:12:10,173 Hey, nothing we can't handle, right? 1919 01:12:10,273 --> 01:12:11,008 Oh, you redecorated. 1920 01:12:11,108 --> 01:12:13,608 It looks... ahh! 1921 01:12:13,708 --> 01:12:17,074 [Gasping] 1922 01:12:28,144 --> 01:12:29,476 Jerry? 1923 01:12:29,576 --> 01:12:31,045 Jerry, are you OK? 1924 01:12:31,145 --> 01:12:32,011 Look. 1925 01:12:32,111 --> 01:12:34,411 I tried my best. 1926 01:12:34,511 --> 01:12:38,213 Frankly, Lindsay, I don't give a damn. 1927 01:12:38,313 --> 01:12:39,545 Let's get this place cleaned up. 1928 01:12:39,645 --> 01:12:40,546 Come on. Hey. 1929 01:12:40,646 --> 01:12:41,714 Hey. What do you say? 1930 01:12:41,814 --> 01:12:42,513 Hey. 1931 01:12:46,982 --> 01:12:48,815 MAN: Raise the chandelier a little. 1932 01:12:56,517 --> 01:12:57,516 [Inaudible]. 1933 01:12:57,616 --> 01:12:58,717 We've got the place ready to go, except I 1934 01:12:58,817 --> 01:13:00,317 Can't find anyone to cook. 1935 01:13:00,417 --> 01:13:02,883 Oh, plus we're still down a girl. 1936 01:13:02,984 --> 01:13:04,452 Well, that's one problem you can scratch. 1937 01:13:04,552 --> 01:13:05,251 Andrea! 1938 01:13:05,351 --> 01:13:06,485 What about your audition? 1939 01:13:06,585 --> 01:13:09,853 I waited in Bellman's office for an hour and a half, 1940 01:13:09,951 --> 01:13:12,652 And that gorilla he calls a receptionist told me 1941 01:13:12,752 --> 01:13:13,820 It was going to be a no-show. 1942 01:13:13,920 --> 01:13:15,220 Don't you think you ought to get on the phone 1943 01:13:15,320 --> 01:13:16,421 And do something about it? 1944 01:13:16,521 --> 01:13:17,488 There's one down the street. 1945 01:13:17,586 --> 01:13:20,721 While I was there, I began to think that I 1946 01:13:20,821 --> 01:13:23,822 Was chasing a pipe dream. 1947 01:13:23,922 --> 01:13:27,090 Waitresses just don't become Broadway stars overnight. 1948 01:13:27,190 --> 01:13:28,523 But you're not a waitress. 1949 01:13:28,623 --> 01:13:30,323 You and Joan quit, remember? 1950 01:13:30,423 --> 01:13:31,324 Yeah? 1951 01:13:31,424 --> 01:13:32,591 Who'd you get to replace me? 1952 01:13:32,691 --> 01:13:33,424 Come on. 1953 01:13:33,524 --> 01:13:34,591 I can get 100 girls by tonight. 1954 01:13:34,691 --> 01:13:37,592 100 part-time space cadets who won't help you 1955 01:13:37,692 --> 01:13:39,192 Get out of this jam. Look. 1956 01:13:39,292 --> 01:13:40,525 Don't you start worrying about my job. 1957 01:13:40,625 --> 01:13:41,892 You worry about Joan of Arc. 1958 01:13:41,993 --> 01:13:43,426 And to tell you the truth, I'm more 1959 01:13:43,526 --> 01:13:44,793 Concerned about getting a chef. 1960 01:13:44,893 --> 01:13:45,926 Wait a minute. 1961 01:13:46,027 --> 01:13:46,927 I've got this great idea. 1962 01:13:47,028 --> 01:13:47,728 I'll be right back. 1963 01:13:47,828 --> 01:13:48,793 Hey. 1964 01:13:48,893 --> 01:13:50,162 Where do you think you're going? Trust me. 1965 01:13:50,262 --> 01:13:52,195 And if I'm not back here by the time my father gets here, 1966 01:13:52,295 --> 01:13:54,229 Well, just tell him, uh, it's all my fault. 1967 01:13:54,329 --> 01:13:55,030 Lindsay, wait. 1968 01:13:55,130 --> 01:13:58,064 I need you! 1969 01:13:58,164 --> 01:13:59,730 I need Lindsay? 1970 01:13:59,830 --> 01:14:00,531 Oh, God. 1971 01:14:00,631 --> 01:14:01,563 I am in trouble. 1972 01:14:05,365 --> 01:14:09,198 Looks like you're stuck with me. 1973 01:14:09,298 --> 01:14:12,133 Punch in! 1974 01:14:12,233 --> 01:14:15,567 (SINGING) Everybody's been talking loud, and they're all 1975 01:14:15,667 --> 01:14:16,766 Hanging out [inaudible]. 1976 01:14:16,866 --> 01:14:19,700 Right this way Mr. Cabbagemis... uh, Mr. Cavendish. 1977 01:14:19,800 --> 01:14:22,501 This way, Fred... table 11. 1978 01:14:22,601 --> 01:14:23,302 Bill? 1979 01:14:26,301 --> 01:14:30,037 MAN: [inaudible], we're going to have a great time tonight. 1980 01:14:30,137 --> 01:14:33,471 Fred, Ethel, when you taste the food here, I know [inaudible]. 1981 01:14:33,571 --> 01:14:34,870 [Laugh] 1982 01:14:34,970 --> 01:14:38,172 Mr. Cavendish, our chef is giving your order 1983 01:14:38,272 --> 01:14:39,771 His personal attention. 1984 01:14:39,871 --> 01:14:41,040 Well, uh. 1985 01:14:41,140 --> 01:14:42,605 Good things take time. 1986 01:14:42,705 --> 01:14:44,105 So they do. 1987 01:14:44,205 --> 01:14:46,605 (SINGING) Dancing up a one-way street. 1988 01:14:46,705 --> 01:14:49,573 [Inaudible] come down on Russell Street, and knows 1989 01:14:49,673 --> 01:14:53,075 How to make me feel so sweet. 1990 01:14:53,175 --> 01:14:57,075 You and me gonna pick the beat, and we're all gonna 1991 01:14:57,175 --> 01:14:59,908 Dance up a one-way street. 1992 01:15:00,009 --> 01:15:03,344 Lindsay, I'm going to kill you. 1993 01:15:03,444 --> 01:15:04,609 Hello aluminum siding. 1994 01:15:04,709 --> 01:15:05,710 Relax. 1995 01:15:05,810 --> 01:15:06,976 She just called and said she was on her way. 1996 01:15:07,077 --> 01:15:07,844 Oh, is that all she said? 1997 01:15:07,944 --> 01:15:09,212 Great. 1998 01:15:09,310 --> 01:15:10,878 No, that's not all she said. 1999 01:15:10,978 --> 01:15:11,779 She said to trust her. 2000 01:15:11,877 --> 01:15:12,578 Trust her? 2001 01:15:12,678 --> 01:15:14,545 I'm going to kill her. 2002 01:15:14,645 --> 01:15:17,479 (SINGING) Dancing up a one-way street. 2003 01:15:17,579 --> 01:15:19,912 Dancing up a on-way. 2004 01:15:20,013 --> 01:15:21,048 I don't understand. 2005 01:15:21,148 --> 01:15:22,847 This is our flagship restaurant. 2006 01:15:22,947 --> 01:15:26,415 This has never happened before, and it won't happen again. 2007 01:15:26,515 --> 01:15:29,416 Young man, I had my secretary call you this afternoon to make 2008 01:15:29,516 --> 01:15:30,749 Sure everything was all right. 2009 01:15:30,849 --> 01:15:33,250 Well, I know you did, sir. 2010 01:15:33,350 --> 01:15:34,217 Look. 2011 01:15:34,317 --> 01:15:35,416 I've got something to tell you. 2012 01:15:35,516 --> 01:15:36,217 Yes? 2013 01:15:36,317 --> 01:15:37,283 See, I was relying... 2014 01:15:37,383 --> 01:15:40,184 Relying on the old adage where the customer 2015 01:15:40,284 --> 01:15:42,951 Will forgive anything as long as the food is good? 2016 01:15:43,052 --> 01:15:44,851 Well, if you'll please forgive two more minutes. 2017 01:15:44,951 --> 01:15:45,652 Oh, Lindsay. 2018 01:15:45,752 --> 01:15:46,619 Just... just two minutes, OK? 2019 01:15:46,719 --> 01:15:47,985 [Inaudible]. 2020 01:15:48,086 --> 01:15:48,919 Two minutes. 2021 01:15:51,854 --> 01:15:53,354 I'm going to kill you. 2022 01:15:53,454 --> 01:15:54,688 I'm really going to kill you this time. 2023 01:15:54,788 --> 01:15:55,820 [Farting noise] 2024 01:15:55,920 --> 01:15:57,654 Mrs. Margolis? 2025 01:15:57,754 --> 01:16:00,755 Oh, please don't be mad at me, Jerry. 2026 01:16:00,855 --> 01:16:03,056 Or should I call you Mr. [inaudible] now? 2027 01:16:03,156 --> 01:16:04,423 Well, don't you dare call me that. 2028 01:16:04,523 --> 01:16:07,124 And how could I be mad at you when you're saving my life? 2029 01:16:07,224 --> 01:16:08,590 She made me do it. 2030 01:16:08,690 --> 01:16:11,524 I didn't think I could do it anymore, 2031 01:16:11,624 --> 01:16:12,990 But she gave me courage. 2032 01:16:13,091 --> 01:16:13,924 Wait a mintue. 2033 01:16:14,025 --> 01:16:15,658 What about your allergy to Teflon? 2034 01:16:15,758 --> 01:16:16,859 I got shot. 2035 01:16:16,959 --> 01:16:17,991 Well, let's not stand around here 2036 01:16:18,092 --> 01:16:19,160 Sending each other valentines. 2037 01:16:19,260 --> 01:16:20,925 We've got meals to prepare. 2038 01:16:21,026 --> 01:16:22,925 For once, she's right. 2039 01:16:23,026 --> 01:16:24,661 Dr. Margolis... Cucumber Margolis. 2040 01:16:24,761 --> 01:16:25,493 [Farting noise] 2041 01:16:25,593 --> 01:16:28,361 The whole thing is beautiful. 2042 01:16:28,461 --> 01:16:29,328 [Inaudible] 2043 01:16:29,428 --> 01:16:31,762 Fantastic. 2044 01:16:31,862 --> 01:16:34,663 Mmm. 2045 01:16:34,763 --> 01:16:36,196 So, how is everything, sir? 2046 01:16:36,296 --> 01:16:37,064 [Inaudible]. 2047 01:16:37,164 --> 01:16:39,964 Why, this duck is magnificent. 2048 01:16:40,065 --> 01:16:44,898 You know, but I... I [inaudible] had it before, a long time ago. 2049 01:16:44,998 --> 01:16:45,897 Oh, well I doubt that. 2050 01:16:45,997 --> 01:16:46,831 It's called Duck Margolis. 2051 01:16:46,931 --> 01:16:47,632 It's a very... 2052 01:16:47,732 --> 01:16:49,199 Duck Margolis? 2053 01:16:49,299 --> 01:16:50,400 Not the Madame Margolis? 2054 01:16:50,500 --> 01:16:52,133 Why, yes. 2055 01:16:52,233 --> 01:16:52,933 Do you know her? 2056 01:16:53,034 --> 01:16:53,932 Know her? 2057 01:16:54,033 --> 01:16:55,634 Why, we went to cooking school together. 2058 01:16:55,734 --> 01:16:57,101 She helped me pass my duck stuffing 2059 01:16:57,201 --> 01:16:59,101 Class at the Cordon Bleu. 2060 01:16:59,201 --> 01:17:00,702 You went to cooking school? 2061 01:17:00,802 --> 01:17:02,035 Well of course I did. 2062 01:17:02,135 --> 01:17:03,534 I may be wearing a three-piece suit now, 2063 01:17:03,634 --> 01:17:05,803 But I wasn't when I started. 2064 01:17:05,903 --> 01:17:06,735 Just think. 2065 01:17:06,835 --> 01:17:08,669 Madame Margolis in my own kitchen. 2066 01:17:08,769 --> 01:17:09,636 [Inaudible] 2067 01:17:09,736 --> 01:17:10,804 Oh, the Cordon Bleu. 2068 01:17:10,904 --> 01:17:14,471 "How I found My Man in New York City." 2069 01:17:14,571 --> 01:17:17,272 Jennifer's article. 2070 01:17:17,372 --> 01:17:18,473 MRS. BELLMAN: Why couldn't you wait? 2071 01:17:18,573 --> 01:17:19,505 Mrs. Bellman. 2072 01:17:19,605 --> 01:17:20,906 Why couldn't you wait? 2073 01:17:21,006 --> 01:17:23,674 Everybody in show businesses is late for appointments. 2074 01:17:23,774 --> 01:17:24,906 How could you do this to me? 2075 01:17:25,006 --> 01:17:26,639 How could you spoil our career? 2076 01:17:26,739 --> 01:17:27,407 Hey. 2077 01:17:27,507 --> 01:17:28,208 Don't look at me. 2078 01:17:28,308 --> 01:17:30,808 I had nothing to do with it. 2079 01:17:30,908 --> 01:17:32,208 [Inaudible], will you please stop acting 2080 01:17:32,308 --> 01:17:33,876 Like it's the end of the world? 2081 01:17:33,974 --> 01:17:37,842 I'll call your husband tomorrow and reschedule the audition. 2082 01:17:37,942 --> 01:17:39,342 You little fools. 2083 01:17:39,442 --> 01:17:40,710 Don't you know that he is planning 2084 01:17:40,810 --> 01:17:45,010 To sign a length of the play contract with Laura Ball? 2085 01:17:45,111 --> 01:17:47,711 It's still not the end of the world. 2086 01:17:47,811 --> 01:17:49,978 Now, I may have lost the man I love. 2087 01:17:50,079 --> 01:17:51,113 Now, that's serious. 2088 01:17:51,213 --> 01:17:53,046 She's behaving like a real Joan of Arc. 2089 01:17:53,146 --> 01:17:54,279 Look. What about after dinner? 2090 01:17:54,379 --> 01:17:55,946 Can you get your husband to come here for a drink? 2091 01:17:56,047 --> 01:17:56,945 Impossible. 2092 01:17:57,046 --> 01:17:58,214 He's so furious at you, nothing could 2093 01:17:58,314 --> 01:18:00,214 Get him to set foot in this place 2094 01:18:00,314 --> 01:18:02,514 Short of holding a gun to his head. 2095 01:18:02,614 --> 01:18:03,748 - OK. - OK what? 2096 01:18:03,848 --> 01:18:04,881 We hold a gun to his head. 2097 01:18:04,981 --> 01:18:05,682 Now Jerry, I... 2098 01:18:05,782 --> 01:18:06,816 Hush. 2099 01:18:06,916 --> 01:18:07,915 Jennifer, [inaudible]. 2100 01:18:08,015 --> 01:18:08,716 ANDREA: Now, Jerry... 2101 01:18:08,816 --> 01:18:10,316 Hush. 2102 01:18:10,416 --> 01:18:11,384 Now, look. 2103 01:18:11,484 --> 01:18:12,749 Mrs. Bellman, if you can get your husband 2104 01:18:12,849 --> 01:18:16,118 To come by here after dinner, just walk by with his party. 2105 01:18:16,218 --> 01:18:18,285 Well, I suppose so, but what's the point? 2106 01:18:18,385 --> 01:18:20,885 Jerry [inaudible] to the rescue, part two. 2107 01:18:20,985 --> 01:18:22,087 Look. 2108 01:18:22,185 --> 01:18:23,452 You know the alley between the two buildings, here? 2109 01:18:23,552 --> 01:18:24,253 Yeah. 2110 01:18:39,056 --> 01:18:40,155 Hey. 2111 01:18:40,255 --> 01:18:40,955 Hey, man. 2112 01:18:41,056 --> 01:18:42,023 Will you get out of here? 2113 01:18:42,124 --> 01:18:43,390 Jeez. 2114 01:18:43,490 --> 01:18:44,824 How can you go out of the house with a run in your stocking, 2115 01:18:44,924 --> 01:18:45,923 For crying out loud? 2116 01:18:46,023 --> 01:18:47,158 Aww, shit. 2117 01:18:47,258 --> 01:18:48,424 That's what I get for buying them at a supermarket. 2118 01:18:48,524 --> 01:18:50,257 You don't buy the good kinds with those panel things 2119 01:18:50,357 --> 01:18:51,525 In the supermarket, if that's the one. 2120 01:18:51,625 --> 01:18:52,493 Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 2121 01:18:52,593 --> 01:18:53,492 That stuff with the cotton panels. 2122 01:18:53,592 --> 01:18:54,593 Yeah. 2123 01:18:54,693 --> 01:18:55,625 Yeah, you know, I bought that stuff one time. 2124 01:18:55,725 --> 01:18:56,993 It made my face break out. Oh, jeez. 2125 01:18:57,094 --> 01:18:58,093 That's [inaudible]. [interposing voices] 2126 01:18:58,193 --> 01:18:59,694 Ah, [inaudible]! Get outta here. 2127 01:18:59,794 --> 01:19:00,493 This is my territory. 2128 01:19:00,593 --> 01:19:01,327 Your territory? 2129 01:19:01,427 --> 01:19:02,628 Listen, bub. 2130 01:19:02,728 --> 01:19:04,661 I happen to be the manager of this here... [laugh] Hey. 2131 01:19:04,761 --> 01:19:06,195 You're really a mugger, aren't you, huh? 2132 01:19:06,295 --> 01:19:07,429 I mean, you're a real, real mugger? 2133 01:19:07,529 --> 01:19:08,828 - Yeah. - Wow. 2134 01:19:08,928 --> 01:19:11,129 That's really an ironic story, because my girlfriend has been 2135 01:19:11,229 --> 01:19:13,129 Trying to get an audition from this... this... this... this... 2136 01:19:13,229 --> 01:19:14,730 Producer for a long time. 2137 01:19:14,830 --> 01:19:15,896 And right now, he's down the street 2138 01:19:15,996 --> 01:19:17,564 With these wealthy investor friends of his. 2139 01:19:17,664 --> 01:19:18,597 Hey, hey, hey. Really wealthy? 2140 01:19:18,697 --> 01:19:20,332 Yeah, yeah. But that's not the point. 2141 01:19:20,432 --> 01:19:21,631 See, anyway, they're going to be coming 2142 01:19:21,731 --> 01:19:23,431 Down here, and I [inaudible]. 2143 01:19:23,531 --> 01:19:24,365 Ahh. 2144 01:19:24,465 --> 01:19:25,633 Oh, Andrea. 2145 01:19:25,731 --> 01:19:29,433 I'll take care of the investors for ya. 2146 01:19:29,533 --> 01:19:32,801 [Laugh] Now you're manager of the trash can. 2147 01:19:32,901 --> 01:19:34,767 Yohoo, Jerry, I'm here. 2148 01:19:34,867 --> 01:19:35,801 You are? 2149 01:19:35,900 --> 01:19:36,601 Hurry up. 2150 01:19:36,701 --> 01:19:37,768 They'll be here any minute. 2151 01:19:37,868 --> 01:19:38,567 Oh! 2152 01:19:38,667 --> 01:19:39,368 Oh! 2153 01:19:39,468 --> 01:19:40,336 Where's the cash? 2154 01:19:40,436 --> 01:19:41,135 Oh, that's right. 2155 01:19:41,235 --> 01:19:42,336 Jerry [inaudible]. 2156 01:19:42,436 --> 01:19:43,435 I love it. 2157 01:19:43,535 --> 01:19:45,070 I mean, it'll look more authentic. 2158 01:19:45,170 --> 01:19:47,504 [Inaudible] directing Laura Ball. 2159 01:19:47,604 --> 01:19:48,471 Ahh! 2160 01:19:48,569 --> 01:19:49,904 Ahh! All right. 2161 01:19:50,004 --> 01:19:51,470 Everybody in here right away, or the lady's 2162 01:19:51,570 --> 01:19:53,372 Going to be picking lead out of her head! 2163 01:19:53,472 --> 01:19:54,638 All of you all, [inaudible]. 2164 01:19:54,738 --> 01:19:55,439 Come on. 2165 01:19:55,539 --> 01:19:57,005 Move. 2166 01:19:57,106 --> 01:19:58,407 You too. 2167 01:19:58,507 --> 01:19:59,806 Start taking out the cash... jewelry, 2168 01:19:59,906 --> 01:20:02,440 Watches, but no personal checks. 2169 01:20:05,541 --> 01:20:06,440 Halt! 2170 01:20:06,540 --> 01:20:07,241 [Inaudible] 2171 01:20:12,509 --> 01:20:17,310 You have your own home, your own land across the sea. 2172 01:20:17,410 --> 01:20:20,611 Why does thou take what does not belong to thee? 2173 01:20:20,711 --> 01:20:22,444 I'm warning ya, don't come any closer. 2174 01:20:22,544 --> 01:20:23,912 I don't want to hurt no lady. 2175 01:20:24,012 --> 01:20:24,811 [Inaudible]. 2176 01:20:24,911 --> 01:20:26,179 Chivalry is for my womanhood. 2177 01:20:26,279 --> 01:20:27,212 I ask no quarter. 2178 01:20:27,312 --> 01:20:28,045 Huh. 2179 01:20:28,146 --> 01:20:29,278 Don't flatter yourself, lady. 2180 01:20:29,378 --> 01:20:30,513 I wouldn't give more than a dime. 2181 01:20:30,613 --> 01:20:31,580 I'm not kidding. 2182 01:20:31,678 --> 01:20:32,379 I will shoot. 2183 01:20:32,479 --> 01:20:34,081 Andrea. 2184 01:20:34,181 --> 01:20:34,879 Oh. 2185 01:20:34,979 --> 01:20:36,014 [Inaudible] fool. 2186 01:20:36,115 --> 01:20:39,414 Does thou think that I have come thus far to be 2187 01:20:39,514 --> 01:20:41,216 Frightened by a bit of steel? 2188 01:20:41,316 --> 01:20:45,149 There is a fire inside me [inaudible] 2189 01:20:45,249 --> 01:20:53,050 Burn to [inaudible], to be free, to make my own decisions, 2190 01:20:53,151 --> 01:20:55,518 To earn my success without prejudice, 2191 01:20:55,618 --> 01:20:59,951 And to pay for my [inaudible] without complaint... to fight 2192 01:21:00,051 --> 01:21:08,354 And [inaudible] to risk all for love. 2193 01:21:08,454 --> 01:21:09,853 All right. 2194 01:21:09,953 --> 01:21:12,321 [Inaudible] 2195 01:21:12,421 --> 01:21:13,488 Well, how was I? 2196 01:21:13,588 --> 01:21:14,289 Brilliant! 2197 01:21:14,389 --> 01:21:15,455 Brilliant! 2198 01:21:15,555 --> 01:21:16,256 [Inaudible] 2199 01:21:19,324 --> 01:21:20,389 [Inaudible]. 2200 01:21:20,489 --> 01:21:21,190 MAN: Hey. 2201 01:21:21,290 --> 01:21:22,191 Hey. 2202 01:21:22,291 --> 01:21:23,257 [Inaudible] 2203 01:21:23,357 --> 01:21:25,023 But it was just another [inaudible]. 2204 01:21:25,124 --> 01:21:26,925 But Mr. Bellman, I had to. 2205 01:21:27,025 --> 01:21:28,958 Oh, come on, George, admit it. 2206 01:21:29,058 --> 01:21:30,425 She was great. 2207 01:21:30,525 --> 01:21:32,227 Well, I wouldn't say she was great. 2208 01:21:32,327 --> 01:21:35,692 Alfred wants to put his money on that girl as Joan. 2209 01:21:35,792 --> 01:21:37,659 But she was damn good. 2210 01:21:37,759 --> 01:21:41,661 Hey, remember me, Mr. Crime in the Street? 2211 01:21:41,761 --> 01:21:44,329 Jerry, stop waving that thing. 2212 01:21:44,429 --> 01:21:46,262 Wasn't she wonderful? 2213 01:21:46,362 --> 01:21:48,962 What force, what energy, what intensity. 2214 01:21:49,062 --> 01:21:49,896 What did you think? 2215 01:21:49,996 --> 01:21:51,830 Oh, well, I found the performance 2216 01:21:51,930 --> 01:21:53,563 Initially claustrophobic. 2217 01:21:53,663 --> 01:21:55,198 But the overall aesthetic [inaudible] 2218 01:21:55,298 --> 01:21:58,831 Was very... what am I talking about? 2219 01:21:58,931 --> 01:22:01,098 Will you get up against [inaudible]? 2220 01:22:01,198 --> 01:22:01,932 Jerry, stop it. 2221 01:22:02,032 --> 01:22:03,365 We did the audition [inaudible]. 2222 01:22:03,465 --> 01:22:04,466 Come on. 2223 01:22:04,566 --> 01:22:06,799 Don't you think you're overdoing it a bit? 2224 01:22:06,899 --> 01:22:08,533 I mean, I didn't feel your motivation. 2225 01:22:08,633 --> 01:22:10,535 I didn't believe you. 2226 01:22:10,635 --> 01:22:13,567 But this young lady was magnificent. 2227 01:22:13,667 --> 01:22:15,136 Never mind, Mel. 2228 01:22:15,236 --> 01:22:17,169 I've seen quite enough. 2229 01:22:17,269 --> 01:22:18,835 The role is yours. 2230 01:22:18,935 --> 01:22:21,802 Oh! [Inaudible]. 2231 01:22:21,902 --> 01:22:22,803 Come on, everyone. 2232 01:22:22,903 --> 01:22:24,770 Let's go get a drink. 2233 01:22:24,870 --> 01:22:25,771 Alfred, Lydia? 2234 01:22:29,871 --> 01:22:31,204 Hey. 2235 01:22:31,304 --> 01:22:33,406 Here. 2236 01:22:33,504 --> 01:22:34,672 You take these. 2237 01:22:34,772 --> 01:22:36,805 Maybe you'll have better luck with them than I did. 2238 01:22:36,905 --> 01:22:38,839 I'll tell you what... I'm going back to being an agent, 2239 01:22:38,939 --> 01:22:41,041 Where at least you get respect for stealing. 2240 01:22:41,140 --> 01:22:42,341 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 2241 01:22:42,441 --> 01:22:43,142 What? 2242 01:22:43,242 --> 01:22:44,006 Hey, come on. 2243 01:22:44,107 --> 01:22:45,275 Don't be sore, huh? 2244 01:22:45,375 --> 01:22:46,109 Hey. 2245 01:22:46,207 --> 01:22:47,342 Let me ask you a question, huh? 2246 01:22:47,442 --> 01:22:48,409 What? 2247 01:22:48,509 --> 01:22:50,643 You like stars, bright lights, fireworks? 2248 01:22:50,743 --> 01:22:51,575 Yeah. 2249 01:22:51,675 --> 01:22:52,976 Yeah, [inaudible]. 2250 01:22:53,076 --> 01:22:53,908 Yeah, they are. 2251 01:22:54,008 --> 01:22:56,509 Because you're going to love this. 2252 01:22:56,609 --> 01:22:59,610 "The man I finally fell in love with turns out to be the old" 2253 01:22:59,710 --> 01:23:02,010 Fashioned type, but I believe he trusts 2254 01:23:02,111 --> 01:23:06,811 "Me as a person and respects me as a professional." 2255 01:23:06,911 --> 01:23:08,680 Mmm. 2256 01:23:08,780 --> 01:23:13,448 "And that makes me as liberated as any modern woman, whomever 2257 01:23:13,548 --> 01:23:16,880 And wherever she may be." 2258 01:23:16,980 --> 01:23:18,749 Hmm. 2259 01:23:18,849 --> 01:23:21,583 It's a pretty terrific article. 2260 01:23:21,683 --> 01:23:24,682 But, um, who's going to believe that ending? 2261 01:23:28,517 --> 01:23:29,218 [Inaudible]. 2262 01:23:29,318 --> 01:23:30,517 Have you seen Andrea? 2263 01:23:30,617 --> 01:23:31,885 She's in the kitchen. 2264 01:23:31,983 --> 01:23:33,585 MRS. MAGOLIS: Just a little bit of licorice. 2265 01:23:33,685 --> 01:23:34,817 I have had as much fun since... well, 2266 01:23:34,917 --> 01:23:36,886 Since before my wife died. 2267 01:23:36,984 --> 01:23:37,852 [Laugh] 2268 01:23:37,952 --> 01:23:39,320 [Laugh] [inaudible]. 2269 01:23:39,420 --> 01:23:41,720 [Farting noise] 2270 01:23:47,187 --> 01:23:48,020 Jerry. 2271 01:23:48,121 --> 01:23:50,555 Congratulations, Andrea. 2272 01:23:50,655 --> 01:23:52,123 So why aren't you out there celebrating with? 2273 01:23:52,221 --> 01:23:53,322 Bellman 2274 01:23:53,422 --> 01:23:54,423 Can't. 2275 01:23:54,523 --> 01:23:57,090 Until I punch out, I'm still your waitress. 2276 01:23:57,191 --> 01:24:00,089 I guess you finally got everything you want, huh? 2277 01:24:00,190 --> 01:24:01,558 No, not everything. 2278 01:24:01,658 --> 01:24:03,124 I still don't have you. 2279 01:24:03,224 --> 01:24:04,159 Look. 2280 01:24:04,259 --> 01:24:05,924 You coming over to my place after work? 2281 01:24:06,024 --> 01:24:07,891 No. 2282 01:24:07,991 --> 01:24:09,360 Great. 2283 01:24:09,460 --> 01:24:10,359 Our place. 2284 01:24:14,927 --> 01:24:15,793 I love you. 2285 01:24:15,893 --> 01:24:18,261 I love you, too. 2286 01:24:18,361 --> 01:24:20,694 [Clears throat] And speaking of places, you've done 2287 01:24:20,794 --> 01:24:22,827 A hell of a with this one. 2288 01:24:22,927 --> 01:24:24,095 So? 2289 01:24:24,196 --> 01:24:25,828 I've been looking for some space at the theater 2290 01:24:25,928 --> 01:24:27,828 District for a new restaurant, which 2291 01:24:27,928 --> 01:24:29,830 I think I'll call Jerry's. 2292 01:24:29,930 --> 01:24:31,797 [Fart noise] 2293 01:24:31,897 --> 01:24:32,798 Jerry! 2294 01:24:32,896 --> 01:24:33,597 [Inaudible]. 2295 01:24:33,697 --> 01:24:34,765 Your own restaurant! 2296 01:24:44,233 --> 01:24:47,368 [Gagging] 153496