Original subtitles

IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY

Happy birthday.

Hi!

- Hi. - Britt.

- My name isn't Britt. - It's my name. Britt Marcussen.

- Cunt-Britt. - Yeah.

You know, Britt Mar-cunt. It was a joke of ours.

- Right. Hi. - You remember me?

- Yes. - Yeah? There you go.

- You parked that Merc out there, right? - Yes. I'm visiting my mum.

Wow! Fuck me, Katrine Kristoffersen. You did all right, you did.

- I'm Katrine Bygholm now, actually. - Sort of like "Pretty Woman".

- "Pretty Woman"? - You look great.

- Oh, thank you. - I have to tell Jimbo this.

He's gonna lose his marbles. "You met Katrine Kristoffersen?"

Bygholm. My husband and brother-in-law run that DIY centre.

The Build Brothers. "Build" as in "Bygholm". Also sort of a joke.

Yeah...

- Well, there you go. - Yeah.

So, a Mercedes, a suit and...

Big house, I assume? And a massive view of the bay?

- Yes, we live on Fjordvej. - How many square metres?

Three hundred thirty-four.

- How many baths? - Three.

- Cars? - Two.

- Kids? Do you have those? - I'm fairly busy.

I just wanted to lay some flowers. Say hi to Jumbo.

- Jimbo. - Yeah, of course.

Yeah...

Sorry! Sorry.

Easy now, Sting. It's on its way.

- What's that smell? - What smell?

That strange smell. Smells like wet paper.

- A faint smell. - Wet paper?

Like a fridge that has been switched off for too long.

- Karo? - Yeah?

Strange smell? Yes, you're smelling a strange smell.

Bloody hell! I can't possibly be pregnant again.

- Technically, you can. - Bloody hell! How'd that happen?

Well

Ronny, you have to turn that thing on when you're smoking.

- Can we talk about your dad? - I'm on the phone.

- I'm hungry. - Yes, but it's not time to eat yet.

Hey, Dad.

Look. It's that tasty one you like so much.

Eat it yourself. Your arse is too small.

Your tits are all right. I don't like when they're too big...

Dad. I'm Katrine. Stop it.

Listen. I am your daughter. You are my father.

- Don't talk about my body. - We fuck on Wednesdays.

We fuck on Wednesdays

- I want to go home now. - You are home.

- You live here now. - I want to go home now.

You know what? I actually have

I found something when we cleared your flat that I want to show you.

Have a look at this.

- See who that is? - Karo?

- Yes, it's Karo. - My little Karo.

- Karoline and me, Katrine. - Little Karo.

Yes, it's Karoline and Katrine. I'm Katrine.

Two girls. Karoline and Katrine.

- Who are you? - Katrine.

- The big girl in the picture. - Where's Karo?

Karo is busy, Dad. She's living out her grand dreams.

Number 17.

Number 17.

Number 79. Number 79.

Number 60.

Number 60. And we're happy.

Number 90.

We're on the balcony and I thought he might sense it, but so what?

- He asked for Karo? - Yes. He should be the carer's problem.

I don't owe him shit. I should just let go. Who is...

Who's taking care of him and bringing him cake?

- I can't be bothered with this. - I can't talk about my dad?

- You can, if it's something new. - I just need to share my pain.

You repeat the same thing every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

But you do want to talk about the DIY centre?

That's different. I have work coming out of my ears right now.

Fine, Markus.

Don't do that, Daria. We are actually your employers.

Everyone else has nice au pairs. We have an old, angry Pole.

- You wanted experience. - Not the angry Eastern European kind.

Well, I don't mind her.

- Are you having a shower? - Mm-hmm.

- Wanna join? - Yes, I'm tense.

- What are we gonna do? - We've done it before, Karo.

I'm not talking about abortion. I mean, us and this flat.

Money, our lives...

- Sucks that the café fired me. - But you quit?

Whatever. I cut my debit card and looked for a new job. Still am.

"I walk the boulevard, admitting life is hard."

- Bob Dylan. - Why don't you get a job?

- I'm a freelancer. - Freelance-what?

- What do you mean? I'm a DJ. - A DJ gets paid for gigs.

If you don't play gigs you're just someone with loads of records.

All right, then.

All right. Received.

- Fucking hell, Sting! - Sting, what the fuck, man?

You're gassy. Shit, man. Come here.

He's been lovely lately.

We'll figure it out. It always works out, you know.

Yes, and I get that. Definitely.

Daria? The door!

Yes, but my dad...

Sorry about that but he has dementia. He doesn't know what he's saying.

I'll have a chat with him again.

And I'm really sorry about that.

Say sorry to the poor carer on behalf of the whole family.

Great. Bye.

- Wow. - Hi, Kat.

- You're here to borrow money. - No, I'm here to see you.

All right.

- You going to ask about Dad? - Yes.

I can't be arsed talking about it. He doesn't know who I am.

He just stares at my breasts and makes vulgar comments.

This morning he tried to stick a finger up a carer's bum.

- How is everything, apart from that? - Good. I'm starting my coach course.

- Yeah, I think you said that last time. - Yes.

I just did graphic design for a DIY centre.

And we have a dad, who I'm taking care of.

I just cleared his whole flat.

- Money? How much? - I'll pay you back this time.

- Really? - I applied for so many jobs.

What about Ronny? He ought to apply for jobs too, you know.

- How much money? - It sort of got away from us.

- Vicious circle. - What's wrong?

- It's just the smell. - They're Gertz' chocolate croissants.

The smell?

Are you pregnant?

Yeah...

- What're you gonna do? - We can't have a kid.

Obviously. So you're getting an abortion... again.

- Katrine... - Don't Katrine me.

Please go. I can't stand this.

I've had four hormone therapy sessions.

Test tubes, micro-insemination, egg retrieval, laser assisted hatching.

Nothing sticks. You get pregnant whenever Ronny undresses.

No more coming here being pregnant right in my face.

- You call? - Yes, Daria. A hundred years ago.

But thanks for asking. Really helpful. Great work, Daria.

Don't you Polish me. I will fire you.

They're offering 120 mill. For 46%.

- Can you run the numbers again? - I doubt that will change much.

- Hi, Karsten. - We have to get that investment.

And we will. I just want to run the numbers again.

- She's pregnant. - Hi, Kat.

- I think the numbers are downstairs. - Karo is pregnant.

She comes asking for money saying something smells strange.

We agreed never to talk pregnancy, babies, hormones and whatnot.

I know, but it has to be scraped out, as per usual.

Tell Steen to come back when you leave, and you're leaving now.

No.

What the hell are we gonna do?

If need be, I'll have to sell some Motown. It'll hurt, but you know...

Who's that?

Hello? Why aren't you coming up?

- Who's that? - Katrine.

What's up?

- How much do you owe? - Well, it's probably...

It's probably something around...

You know, Ronny's mum had cancer about a year ago.

She wanted alternative treatment.

We took out payday loans and then debt collectors got involved.

Payday loans cost an arm and a leg. Then they fired me at the café.

One thing followed the other. Now we're being evicted.

- And Ronny is just... - How much do you owe in total?

In total, 190,000.

- 195,000, maybe. - You owe 200,000.

Yes. And Ronny's mum died anyway, so that was a waste of money.

Okay.

What if we give you what you owe,

plus extra on top of that, so you can start over?

Let's say we double it, so you'll get 400,000.

Katrine...

Thank you.

And we get the baby.

- The baby? - Yes, the baby in your belly.

You give me and Markus the baby when it's born. We'll adopt it.

It's just a suggestion.

You're welcome to decline and we'll never talk about it again.

We can write up a legal agreement. It's called kinship adoption.

And you should visit Dad. He's old and ill.

- That's for another time. - Hey.

Hi, Ronny.

I'll talk to Markus, you talk to Ronny.

What's up? Should I make some coffee, or is that...?

So, Katrine will pay us 400,000 and she gets the baby.

- Four hundred thousand? - Yes.

Okay.

I have to go through a pregnancy, have a child,

and then just give it to Katrine and Markus.

That's a lot of money. The kid will have a great life.

Big house and a jacuzzi.

Luxury.

A new start for us.

We could make use of that.

It is so much money.

Are you being serious?

We get a newborn only influenced by social inheritance.

- Now you believe in social inheritance? - Yes.

It's a widely accepted opinion. Very modern.

You were rather keen on biological inheritance when we were trying.

Karoline is a good person. She's just been unlucky.

- What's Ronny's excuse? - Ronny is very reliable.

They met in that folk high school. He loves music and doesn't drink.

He doesn't do drugs. Weed isn't drugs. It'll be legalised in a bit.

Fuck me. Seriously, Kat.

The couples counsellor said a mutual project would benefit us.

- The guy you called a grade A idiot. - Doesn't mean he's wrong.

- You want to buy a baby? - No, it's called kinship adoption.

We give them money if they give us their baby.

What if they won't give it up once it's born?

Nielsen will write up a contract.

It's illegal to pay surrogates in Denmark.

It's an adoption. A kinship adoption.

Just so Karo and Ronny know it's for real.

I'm in the middle of a massive decision with Invest.

- We can grow or lose everything. - I know that.

- We better be happy, then. - What?

If we have a baby, we better be happy.

- Yes, of course. - Let's do it, then.

- Are you being serious? - Yes, let's have a baby.

- It would make me so happy. - Let's do it, then.

- We'll buy a baby. - No, adopting. Kinship adoption.

- How's the DJ business? - Good.

Well, it has its ups and downs.

- But you can make a living off it? - Mm-hmm.

"Ain't No Mountain High Enough".

- How's that? - It's an old Marvin Gaye song.

- All right. - Actually written by Ashford and Simpson.

But Marvin Gaye had a hit with it back in '66.

- '67. It was in '67. - All right.

Jan Nielsen. Hi. Nice to meet you.

- So you're the ones who are...? - Yes.

- Hi, Jan. - To start things off...

In brief, what the agreement covers.

As is written here... "First party", that's Karoline and Ronny.

"Second party" is Markus and Katrine. The agreement consists of three parts.

Part one is the pregnancy. Part two is the adoption agreement.

And part three is the financial compensation.

The sum is stated on page two. It is to be paid in several instalments.

Three instalments, to be precise.

This is a kinship adoption between two sisters.

Both sisters are present. And I must say, that usually goes well.

That's my experience, at least, in that regard.

Regarding the course of the pregnancy, exams will take place

to ascertain whether there are indications of slight disabilities.

If that is the case, it doesn't nullify the agreement.

In case of significant disabilities, the agreement can be nullified,

and the pregnancy may be put on hold. But there is a detailed list.

Now on to the First Party's lifestyle during pregnancy. There are obligations.

They must show consideration for the foetus's development

in regard to diet and lifestyle, which means no tobacco or alcohol.

You have to stay in shape... Sums are be paid in three instalments...

Part two comes into effect when...

That's fine. Just tell me where to sign.

This is unnecessary. I'm sure. We're ready.

Very well. Then... Page four. There you go.

Karoline, Ronny, Markus and then Katrine.

- We're debt-free. - Right.

- We have money. - Yes.

- Ooh! We could buy a new car. - Shut up, Ronny. Seriously.

All right.

Bloody hell...

Congratulations. You're going to be a grandmother after all.

- It's nice here. - It's a private maternity clinic.

They're with us all the way. No public healthcare birth for us.

I just thought I'd gained weight. Too many beers and chicken nuggets.

- You eat nuggets? - Yes, Katrine. We eat nuggets.

- We have to talk about nutrition. - Chill.

- Nuggets are for little kids. - Karoline Kristoffersen.

- Yes, that's us. - Welcome.

So, Karoline. Here's your baby.

Here is the mouth opening. The nose...

Forehead, back of the head, neck. It all looks very good.

Everything's great. Let's see if we can find the heart.

Yes. It's beating away.

- I'm turning up the sound a bit. - That is incredible.

Sorry. I'm getting emotional. It is so incredible.

- All's how it's supposed to be? - Yes.

I reckon you're 22 weeks pregnant.

- Twenty-two weeks? - Just past half way.

- Sure? - Completely sure.

- Didn't you feel anything? - No. Well, maybe a little bit.

- Like having an upset tummy. - That's very common.

- But 22 weeks...? - Want to know the gender?

- Yes. - Yes.

I mean... Yes, we'd like to.

A little girl? Karo, imagine. A little girl is arriving in 18 weeks.

Thank you. I am so thankful.

Thank you.

- It's crazy. You're past half way. - Yes, crazy.

- Where's Markus? - There.

- What? - I'm just so happy.

Exactly.

- Hey, honey. - Hey, honey.

- It's a girl. 22 weeks. - A girl? I told Steen already.

- What's up? - How are you?

Well, the house is sort of empty.

It's been empty for three months.

Karen Elise is gone. She was neurotic and hostile, if you ask me.

- But no one did, honey. - What are you doing?

We're doing a family project, building a play castle.

- With a slide and all. - Babies can't slide right away.

People with kids say that time flies.

- Yes, quickly... I've heard. - That's really sweet.

Kind of dumb, but also sweet.

No, leave that there.

Head, legs, belly.

Yeah...

- And I'm 22 weeks pregnant. - Oh...

Twenty-two weeks.

- All right. - It's all right?

Everything is all right.

Imagine that we're having a little girl.

I'm going to be someone's mum. It's completely...

"Hi, my name is Mum."

"No, it's just, I'm someone's mum, so..."

- "Hi, I'm Dad." - "Oh, so you're Dad?"

- "Heard so much about you." - "Come here often?"

- "Do you live near..." - You're a really hot dad.

No!

He lives further down the hall.

Don't be frightened when you see him. He looks like shit.

He talks a lot about you, but he might not recognise you.

He only thinks about pussy. He might make vulgar comments.

- Or grab your bum. Are you okay? - Yeah.

Karo... My little Karo.

Is it Karo, my little sweetie?

- Hi, Dad. - Yeah. Hi, Dad.

You're a grown woman now.

A real grown woman.

I brought cake. Me, Katrine. Your other daughter.

I've thought about you so much, Karo. Where have you been?

- I've been here. Where have you been? - Karo...

No! You treated Mum like shit. She was mentally ill.

You just toured with your bingo shows and cheated on her. I can say that.

Yes, but he has dementia. Dad didn't have an easy childhood.

Granddad was absent. Social inheritance can't be avoided.

That's bullshit. We all decide how we behave.

He left Mum for weeks. She tried taking her life four times.

Sorry. I'm so embarrassed. Sorry.

I'm so fucking embarrassed.

That's great, Dad. It's just too late.

Bloody hell!

There were these... She had wrinkles on her fanny.

Let's eat cake. Katrine, cake.

Yes.

Twenty-two. Twenty-two.

Seventeen. Sixty-three.

- Hi. We went to see Dad today. - That's Steen's. He's in the loo.

- Suddenly it's like he... - I said he could stay a few days.

- Who? - Steen.

Karen Elise hasn't just moved. She's found a new husband.

- Karen Elise has? What? - He's completely deflated.

But he has a huge house to be deflated in.

Yes, but he's my brother. He stays as long as he pleases. End of story.

- Hi, Katrine. - Hi, Steen.

So Karen Elise only went and found someone else?

- Poor guy, I say. - Yeah...

- Fucking hell, Kat. - I was just cheering him up.

I'll talk to him. In a different way. A better way.

We can't eat out here.

It was strange seeing Dad today. He cried and apologised for everything.

I felt sort of bad for him. He was a bastard to me and Mum,

but now he's just an old man.

And it doesn't mean anything whether I forgive him or not.

One moment, we're here. The next, we're gone.

And all bad things we do... All the people we mistreat...

Our wrongdoings... Not everything can be re-done.

- Are you high? - I miss smokes.

- I get that. - And those churros from the bakery.

- Nugget-time. - No, we promised to eat healthily.

- Nuggets aren't healthy. - But they're tasty. Fuck...

They're hot. Want one?

He has diarrhoea.

- I like it. - You do?

It's for kids without being too much for kids.

- What is it? - It's a giraffe.

- Yeah, but I meant... - It's a jungle universe.

Markus, he... It's quite nice.

A cradle over there. A changing table on the other side.

- She's not sleeping with you? - That's how it's done these days.

- Will you be able to hear her? - Yes, we'll have a baby alarm.

Sound, picture, temperature, and it will vibrate too.

- I think we'll go with yellow... - Oh! Something moved.

It was a kick.

- Oh... - I can't feel anything.

- Dear me... - Another one! Feel.

Well, I'm looking forward to feeling it.

- Please. - Thank you.

So, the big cry-baby is staying here for how long?

The cry-baby is family and his name is Stone.

He lives here until he does not live here anymore.

So, more laundry, more cleaning and same pay?

You're already overpaid, so yes. Same pay.

Don't do that, Daria.

- What are you eating? - Left-over lasagne.

- I'd rather have that. - You eat that. Loads of protein.

It's organic. Good for you and the baby.

- Why aren't you at work? - I just had a bad day.

- Hi, Steen. - Hi, Karoline.

- Why are you not feeling well? - It's just that my...

- My wife has found someone else. - Ex-wife. Karen Elise moved out.

He has an empty house. But he'd rather be here so he doesn't have to cook.

I feel so bad for you, Steen.

Thank you.

That's great, Karo. Well done.

- Are you hungry? - Juice is fine.

Ooh! There was a big one again. Feel.

It was there just now.

You do know that Steen's name in English is just "Steen", right?

- Get your shit together and help Karo. - Yes.

- She kicked today. - Who?

- The baby. Crazy, right? - Karo mustn't get stressed.

She mustn't have worries, she must eat well and not lift heavy things.

You have to help her. Karo, where do you want the books?

- Karo, the books? - Just anywhere.

- How do I feel it? - Press there.

- Ronny, some cleaning would help. - Yes.

- Does it kick if you knock? - I'll put the food in the fridge.

I'll book a grocery service for you. The vegetable box without potatoes.

Delivered on Wednesdays. You just have to cook it.

- Feel it? A tiny kick. - And, Ronny, no smoking indoors.

All right. There! I felt it.

- Isn't it crazy? - Someone's in there. Like an alien.

Suddenly, its head will burst out of your belly.

No... No!

Erm, you were saying?

Cleaning. Grocery service. And smoking is in the courtyard.

Noted.

- Ronny, can I nick a smoke? - Yes.

Thanks.

- Is your dad still alive? - Yeah.

- Where does he live again? - In Viborg, I think.

And he's healthy and in good shape?

I don't know. We don't talk. He left when I was eight.

- "Papa was a rolling stone, my son". - What?

Temptations, 1972.

Sting shat all over the bedroom.

He still has diarrhoea. I'm kind of worried.

- I can't stand the smell. - The smell is horrible.

Ronny, that one's on you. Pregnant women are sensitive to smells.

Yes, of course. The pregnant nose.

Blow some smoke in my face, please.

No, we're not doing that. Ronny's family, you know...

- Are there any hereditary issues? - What do you mean?

Diseases or mental illnesses? Genetic flaws. Something.

His mum is dead, his dad lives in Herning, I think.

But he hasn't said whether something was wrong in his family?

- Why are you asking? - Those things are good to know.

- Why? - Because he's half of the baby.

- Yeah... - What?

Ronny isn't the father.

- What? - 22 weeks are longer than I thought.

- Who is the father then? - I don't know.

We were taking a break so I moved into my girlfriend's basement.

- You don't know who the dad is? - No, I was in a strange phase.

- How many men did you sleep with? - No clue. You know how it is.

I have no clue how it is. I'm married.

I wanted to try something new. Don't look at me like that.

How many have you slept with? Is it five? Ten?

- Sting, don't step in it. - Does Ronny know?

- Yes, he's not stupid, Katrine. - You haven't talked about it?

He's not stupid.

I told you, though. 22 weeks.

- So, I'm not the father? - We're giving the baby away anyway.

It doesn't mean anything.

- We were taking a break. - Yeah.

That's right.

Aren't you going to say anything?

- It will be all right, Steen. - I can't do anything right.

Stop it. It's not the end of the world. It's just a postponement.

- Sorry. - Don't say sorry.

You'll get better and then we'll get this done, okay?

Steen, I have to talk to my husband in private.

- You won't believe this. - It's a shitty day. Can we...

- She doesn't know who the father is. - Okay.

- "Okay"? You're saying okay? - Yes.

They were taking a break. She shagged around unprotected.

- How's Ronny handling that? - He's not. He's an idiot.

But he's Ronny. You know what you're getting.

- God knows who she shagged. - What about social inheritance?

He could be a psychopath, a criminal, a mentally unstable person.

- We have no clue what we're getting. - Now what, then?

- We'll need so many blood samples. - That's Steen's beer.

Yeah.

- He put the house up for sale. - Oh.

It all reminds him of Karen Elise. He's going to buy something smaller.

- Where is he living in the meantime? - Don't fucking start.

He's my family. I love him. I'm there for him. Period.

Daria!

- What's wrong, darling? - He kicked me out.

- Ronny kicked me out. - There, there.

There...

Easy. We'll figure it out, all right? We'll figure it all out.

Just breathe, darling. You'll just stay with us.

You can stay with us.

Have a seat, please.

We'll make an exception. I'll get you some white wine.

Ronny kicked her out so she's moving in with us.

She's family, like Steen, but without a big house to be sad in.

- I'm getting a glass of wine. - Right.

- Want some tuna? - No, tuna are apex predators.

Top of the food chain, where all toxins end up.

Tuna is full of dioxins. You can't eat that when you're pregnant.

- It's really tasty, honey. - Yes.

Karo, you're barely eating. Do you want something else?

- Markus can make you an omelette. - No, that's all right.

Okay.

- I know how you feel. - Steen, eat your tuna.

It's so delicious.

- She lives here? - No, I'm just showing you a red house.

Get your act together, Steen.

- Is Markus mad about the postponement? - No, on a personal level.

You have to dig up your manhood. Untuck your shirt. You're no granddad.

Like that. Straighten your back. Chest forward.

You're CFO of our DIY centre.

You're one of The Build Brothers. You're attractive. Tell yourself that.

- Out loud? - Yes.

- I am attractive. - Yeah, give that some practice.

So many records.

I'm a DJ. I don't believe in digital audio.

Sting, go away.

I've collected movies for years. Betamax and VHS.

Westerns.

Mainly classics. John Ford, Zinnemann, Sergio Leone, of course.

Loads of special editions.

- Ronny. - Steen.

Do you have something to say before we leave?

Sting needs the vet. Still diarrhoea.

Just send me the bill. Have a nice life, Ronny.

Thanks for the chat. And the peek.

- What did he say? - Sting needs the vet.

- Anything else? - No.

Stress is bad for the baby. A bad mood is bad for the baby.

You're completely right. I'll cheer up right away.

Ronny left me, and what a nice room you found me.

Here, I can grow fat and ugly until I've squeezed out your baby.

I'll just take this out.

Nice, right?

I don't understand how I ended up like this.

What's that?

I don't understand how I ended up like this.

I know what you mean.

I thought it couldn't get much worse but then it did.

All will be well again, you know.

It can't just keep getting worse, right?

Message from Ronny. Someone named Sting has cancer, in the stomach,

and will be put down on Thursday. I'm sorry.

- She'll have a mare because Sting died. - Sting died?

Yes, the dog, for fuck's sake. It's hard keeping her balanced.

- It's annoying that he's dying now. - Can you tell them dinner's ready?

- Dinner's ready! - You have to go down there.

It's like having kids. Just not in a good way.

More like: "Deal with these annoying, depressed teenagers all the time."

I have to take this. Hi, Jens. Yes, that's...

- Please eat something. - Ouch.

- What? - I'm getting those...

Have a rest. I'll bring you a plate.

Erm... I'll bring her the plate.

No, you don't have to.

I mean, yes, that's a good idea.

Nice of you, Steen, to care for Karo.

- Yes. - But don't talk about Karen Elise.

Don't talk about the DIY centre or sad things. And untuck that shirt.

Nothing about Ronny, Sting or the future. Just nice chat.

- Steen? What are you, again? - I am attractive.

I've always felt like a hopeless person.

And dumber than Katrine.

Prettier, maybe. But dumber and useless.

- You're not useless. - Ronny kicked me out.

I live in a room with someone else's baby in my belly.

I have no job or education. I'm not the mother type.

That's not true.

This little girl will have a better life here.

She will get a proper life

where she isn't burdened by hopeless me.

You're not hopeless. You would make a fantastic mum.

- Probably not. - You would. You're funny.

You're caring and loving.

And I don't think a child needs much more than that.

Thank you, Steen. That's very sweet of you.

You're welcome.

- Thanks for driving me. - I'd drive you to the end of the world.

- That might be a bit too far, Steen. - Yeah.

It's an emotional day but I've decided to be strong.

You are strong.

I've decided not to cry.

I figured he'd rest on a piece of his favourite cushion.

That's a sweet thought.

Sting, you were... a dog.

An overweight dog.

Not a guard dog.

And not a clever dog.

But you were our dog.

Hey, a funeral is going on...

Sleep well, Sting.

Sleep well, Sting.

Do you miss me?

I can't, Karo.

When I see your belly I think of you and other men.

Doing it doggy style. Or reverse cowgirl. Or whatever.

- Hench guys with big dicks who... - Whatever, Ronny.

Don't cry. Katrine said it's bad for the baby.

- Maybe think of something positive? - But nothing is positive.

Loads of things are positive.

Food. What about food? Tasty food with nice wine.

But I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything.

You could also sit in the sun with a cup of coffee... decaf.

Walk around the castle lake after it's just been raining, yeah?

- That helped, right? - Yes, a bit.

- That's good. Hi, Daria. - Katrine called. Your father is dying.

Maybe already dead.

He's dead. But it's all right, Karo. He was old and never there for us.

- He treated Mum terribly. - I didn't say bye.

No, but his last words were about my bum. It wasn't big enough.

So, don't be upset. Think of how he treated Mum.

How he let us down. We should celebrate it and shout hooray.

And I bloody will. Hooray, hooray, hooray!

- Can we say bye to our dad now? - Yes, step inside.

- Good. - I'll wait here.

Have some respect for the dead! How many times do I have to say?

It's on its way.

- What is? - Come again?

- What is? - The hearse.

The hearse is on its way.

My partner is on their way. There were roadworks.

What are we doing now? I don't quite follow.

You're welcome to leave now, if you're done.

- I thought we were carrying the casket. - No, we have a trolley.

We'll just roll it outside. No problem.

Why don't we...?

- Have a nice day. - Yeah.

- That was a beautiful funeral. - It was utterly forgettable.

But now we got it over with.

- Ronny didn't show up. - No more Ronny, please.

- I feel strange. - We're almost home.

You can have a rest then.

Karoline?

I like how you say my whole name. No one else does.

It might be a weird time to say this but

we've had nothing but weird times lately.

To say what?

I'm the CFO of The Build Brothers.

- Markus and I are partners. - I know that.

And I have a big empty house.

I figured... You can live there for as long as you want.

You could have your own room. And... Yeah.

Then we could take it one step at a time and... I don't know.

See where that goes.

- Sorry, that's inappropriate. - That's okay, Steen.

I love Ronny, you know.

- But he kicked you out. - Yes.

But I love him anyway.

That was stupid of me.

All right. Alba, Auguste, Rose.

- Clara with a C. - No.

No? Dicte. Bit too tough. Lilja is quite sweet. Ava.

- My. - What?

- What about My? - My? I doubt it.

What about Jasmin? That's quite sweet, no?

Yes, or Earl Grey.

I cannot change sissy boy's sheets.

- His name is Steen. - I ask: "Get up, Stone." No answer.

- That's not a question. It's an order. - He's in bed all day every day.

- Why is he in bed all day? - Depressed. Lonely.

And a sissy boy cry-baby. Do something. I must clean.

- I thought he'd gotten better. - Maybe it's my fault.

- Your fault? - Apparently, he fancies me.

So I had to tell him that I still love Ronny.

- Dear me. - Yeah, that wasn't good.

- Can you make sure Steen eats? - Of course.

- Great. - I have to collect Dad's things.

- They keep ringing me. You okay? - Yes.

- I'll see you later. - Yes, see you.

Ooh!

You okay? Or are you not okay?

- Maybe lie down? - It's too early.

- Stone! - She's too little.

No, she's not too small. It's fine. It's normal.

Stone, come here! Baby comes, you drive!

- Okay, I'll put on pants. - No pants. Right now!

Don't worry. Just breathe. Help!

Just breathe. Go, go, go.

You've called Katrine. Leave a message.

- Breathe. - There's no answer.

No push. Good girl.

It's okay. No. No push.

We're almost there. Don't worry. Go, go, go.

I have some different things here.

A wristwatch, an electric razor, some trophies.

That's fine. I'll just sign.

- Give the rest to a charity shop. - Not keeping it?

I'd rather not.

We're almost there. Fuck, shit!

Shit. Stop. Stop the car. Right now.

- Stop? - It's okay.

Okay. Come back here.

- To do what? - What do you think? Come to the back.

The other side, Stone! Jesus...

You're very good. Hold her.

I'm holding your head.

Yeah, baby. Now, you push. Push.

It's fine. Now, you push. You push. Stronger.

All right, baby!

Yeah!

Yes, yes, yes. Come on! Good.

Okay. Good, good, good.

- I did it. - Oh my god.

- You did it. - Good.

This is Albert, aged seven. He's in room four.

- She's good. The baby's good. - That's so good.

- All is good. What about Katrine? - I left a message, on her phone.

- Daria, I have to go. - You have to go?

- There's something I need to do. - Okay, Stone. I'll wait here.

What...?

Karoline just gave birth in my car.

Daria and I helped pull her out.

I cut the umbilical cord with my car keys.

- I'm not the father. - I'm not either, Ronny.

But I asked Karoline to move in with me.

I said I could be her husband, or something like that.

But she declined. Do you know why, Ronny?

She said that she loves you.

You might not be the father but you can be her husband.

"Once Upon a Time in the West".

Charles Bronson is Harmonica. He finally gets revenge on Henry Fonda's Frank,

so he can have Jill, played by the outstanding Claudia Cardinale.

But Harmonica is too cool so he buggers off.

That big, fat dummy.

You have to make a decision, Ronny.

Are you the one who buggers off or the one who stays and gets the woman?

Which one are you, Ronny?

- I really like you. - Okay.

- She's in there. - Thank you.

- Hey. Is she okay? - She's perfect.

- And what about you? - I'm okay.

- Hey, sweetheart. - How pretty she is.

- And everything works...? - She's small but she's healthy.

Thirty-six weeks are enough for us to take her home tomorrow.

Hi. I figured the mother might want some tea and toast.

- I can take care of her. - Yes, please.

- She's perfect. - Yes, she is.

There. Just call out if you need anything.

Hi.

She is so fantastic. Hi...

- Stone? - Yes?

- You have not eaten. - I'm not hungry.

- A man has to eat. - Okay.

What a day.

- We got the baby out. - Sure did.

Your car seat looks like shit. I will clean it.

Thank you.

- You leave? - Yes, going home.

Enough with the whining.

You're too skinny for me.

I like big men, muscles, tattoos, motorbikes.

And I'm too old for you.

Okay, this is my number. You call me and ask me out.

- And we see what happens, okay? - Okay.

- Goodbye, Stone. - Goodbye.

Hey, Ronny.

Hey.

- Do you have to stay long? - No, we're going home today.

Katrine is on her way.

When the baby has been... handed over

would you like to come stay at mine?

I'd love to.

And I promise to... All that finding a job and making money-stuff.

Are you all right with everything?

"If you love somebody..." Karo...

- Ronny? - Hey.

We're back together, me and Karo.

I hope you're sure.

If you hurt her again I'll hire a Polish assassin.

- I bet Daria knows one. - Okay. Yes.

Karo has just you and me to protect her. No regretting now.

- No complaining about the past and... - No, no. "If you love somebody..."

- Don't try to dodge. - No, it's a Sting song.

- "If you love somebody, set them free." - No one is setting anyone free.

It's about commitment, to be there for each other no matter what.

Karo is very fragile right now. She just had a baby she isn't keeping.

I figured we'd get a new dog. We could be a little family again.

It's from 1985, "If You Love Somebody".

- He made this remix... - I remember. I know the song.

Can I...? I can go home now, right?

- Yes. - Yes. Good.

- Maybe I'll do some cleaning. - Good idea, Ronny.

Yes. See you.

Yes.

You do it, go ahead.

- Isn't she the most beautiful thing? - She's so perfect.

The milk hasn't dropped so I can't get really... get milked.

We have baby formula. We bought...

Loads of good stuff in it so that's fine.

Yes.

Yes, okay.

I'll go pack my things and go home to Ronny.

- Markus can drive you there. - Great.

- We're a mum and dad now. - Yes.

Are you all right?

I'm just happy. That must be it.

- Are you all right? - Yes. Let's just go.

Remember the doll you had when we were kids? Hannah, Nanna.

- Anna Karina. - Anna Karina, yes.

Mum had just died and Dad had gone on tour with the bingo show again.

And Auntie Gitte from Hell moved in.

You said that Anna Karina was sad.

That Anna Karina was missing Mum, cried and wouldn't sleep.

And I told you that we one day would be grown-ups.

And we would have lives without Dad and Auntie Gitte.

I told you I would always make sure

Anna Karina and you would be well and happy.

And I promised you I would always take care of you.

You don't want to give her away.

I would know I hadn't taken care of you every time I looked at your girl.

I would know I had taken advantage of you instead of taken care of you.

I'm sorry.

- I'm going to need help. - I will help you.

I will be there for you and for her. I will be there till the cows come home.

Maybe I should talk to Ronny first.

I did that already, I think.

He'll be there for you two. He loves you, Karo.

- Promise to give her a sweet name. - I know what to call her.

- What? - Blue Ivy.

- Blue... - Like Beyoncé's daughter.

- So, Blue Ivy Kristoffersen? - Blue Ivy Kristoffersen Bach.

"Bach" is Ronny's last name.

She'll be so cool.

- Yes, she will. - I love you, Kat.

I love you too.

Come.

Sorry.

I thought becoming a mother was the one thing

I needed in order to be happy.

But something is more important. Karo is more important.

You're more important. And my being able to look at myself in the mirror.

And I'm sorry it took me so long to get to that point.

Is it too late?

You're a fucking nightmare, Kat.

I just can't.

I can't live without you.

I'm never bored when I'm with you.

I can feel that I'm more alive when I'm close to you.

And you did the right thing with that baby.

Right, Mum...

- You're a grandmother now. - To the most lovely, little girl.

Fuck me sideways, you're both bloody here.

- My goodness. Hi, Britt. - Karoline and Katrine Kristoffersen.

- Who've we got there? - My daughter.

Well, well. No name? Is her name "Daughter"?

- Her name is Blue Ivy. - Blue Ivy Kristoffersen Bach.

Wow, that's a nice bloody name.

- Yeah, that really works. Congrats. - Thanks.

Can't wait to tell Jimbo this. "She had a kid?"

"Yes, she did. I saw them at the cemetery."

He's gonna flip. I won't take your time. See you, girls.

See you, Britt.

I'll take that. Little sweetheart. There, honey.

See you, Mum.

Kat? I'm happy.

Actually, I am too.

Well, there's always something.

- Like what? - My niece is called Blue Ivy...

- Get over it, already. - People ask for her name.

- Just lie. - You bet I'm lying.

Subtitles: Nicklas Rasmussen One liner