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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,017 --> 00:00:02,975 - Previously on "Resident Alien"... 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,501 - Calm down? I can't calm down. 3 00:00:04,525 --> 00:00:05,874 They're threatening our families! 4 00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:08,442 - If I knew something important and dangerous, 5 00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,922 I might've written it down. 6 00:00:09,965 --> 00:00:11,793 - Holy shit! 7 00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,839 - Who the hell is Galvan/Powell Group? 8 00:00:13,882 --> 00:00:15,362 - Why are you in New York? 9 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:17,712 You were supposed to stay in Colorado 10 00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:19,149 and do your goddamn work. 11 00:00:19,192 --> 00:00:21,542 You have no idea who you are dealing with. 12 00:00:21,586 --> 00:00:24,415 - So where is this alien ball? 13 00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,199 - I give you the ball, I get my life back. 14 00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:31,804 - My birthday's coming up. 15 00:00:31,829 --> 00:00:35,208 I was wondering if you want to do something that day. 16 00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,340 - I would love that. 17 00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:38,255 All: Surprise! 18 00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:44,043 - There's alien activity here in Patience. 19 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:45,479 I know it. - What are you gonna do? 20 00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,394 - I'm gonna call the Alien Tracker 21 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:48,874 and tell him to come to Patience 22 00:00:48,917 --> 00:00:50,180 and find himself an alien. 23 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,402 - I'm Goliath. There's an alien race 24 00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:56,640 that's planning to take over the Earth. 25 00:00:56,664 --> 00:01:00,146 - Wha... ah... 26 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,800 - You should've just stayed in Colorado 27 00:01:01,843 --> 00:01:04,368 and done your job. - You shot me. 28 00:01:04,411 --> 00:01:06,065 - Yeah. I should've never made you 29 00:01:06,109 --> 00:01:07,762 kill Sam Hodges. 30 00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:10,025 I should've just taken care of it myself. 31 00:01:17,946 --> 00:01:23,213 - Asta. 32 00:01:23,256 --> 00:01:26,781 - Holy shit. What the hell happened? 33 00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,219 - He shot me. 34 00:01:29,262 --> 00:01:30,742 - Okay, we need to call an ambulance. 35 00:01:30,785 --> 00:01:32,396 - No! We do not need to do that. 36 00:01:32,439 --> 00:01:35,181 This is a dangerous man. 37 00:01:35,225 --> 00:01:38,289 - This is bad. This is really bad. 38 00:01:39,050 --> 00:01:41,461 - No, it is okay. 39 00:01:42,534 --> 00:01:43,726 He's dead. 40 00:01:44,081 --> 00:01:45,865 - Oh, God. 41 00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:48,092 - Harry, Asta? Y'all out here? 42 00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:50,489 I heard gunfire! 43 00:01:50,514 --> 00:01:52,037 Hello? 44 00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:53,373 Sheriff's Department. 45 00:01:56,115 --> 00:01:58,639 Oh, shit! 46 00:01:58,675 --> 00:01:59,904 - Oh, damn. What y'all doin' out here? 47 00:01:59,937 --> 00:02:02,295 Did y'all hear gunshots? - Just a racoon. 48 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:04,776 I almost put down that varmint. 49 00:02:04,819 --> 00:02:06,038 - I'm pretty sure I heard 50 00:02:06,081 --> 00:02:08,388 two distinctly different caliber gunshots. 51 00:02:08,432 --> 00:02:10,825 - That was me. I'm still celebrating. 52 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:12,523 It's my birthday! 53 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:17,876 - Yay, Harry. Whoo-hoo. 54 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:20,270 - Oh, okay. 55 00:02:20,313 --> 00:02:22,228 Damn, y'all scared the shit out of me. 56 00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:25,144 Anyway, it's good to see y'all are all right. 57 00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,841 Everybody else left. 58 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,515 They was wonderin' where the two of you went. 59 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,410 - Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. 60 00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,319 I was like, "Where did they go? 61 00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:36,242 Don't tell me they're off owl-hunting again." 62 00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,939 But then, you know, I went outside, 63 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,290 followed the hoots, and there they were. 64 00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:43,293 - Hoot, hoot. - Hoot. 65 00:02:43,336 --> 00:02:44,729 - So... - Hoot. 66 00:02:44,772 --> 00:02:46,905 - Yeah. 67 00:02:46,948 --> 00:02:50,517 - Okay. - So you guys have fun here. 68 00:02:50,561 --> 00:02:54,217 Sheriff and I, no place to go but away to our homes. 69 00:02:54,260 --> 00:02:56,480 Thank you for the party. 70 00:02:56,523 --> 00:02:59,047 - All right, yeah, um, thanks for everything. 71 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,484 Party was pretty cool. 72 00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:03,878 You might want to open that window in your bathroom. 73 00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,030 Smell like a good old-fashioned hump house up in there. 74 00:03:06,054 --> 00:03:07,230 - Ha ha! 75 00:03:07,273 --> 00:03:08,424 - You know what I'm talking about. 76 00:03:08,448 --> 00:03:10,363 Yeah, that wasn't no normal sex. 77 00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,539 - No, I know. - Ben and Kate. 78 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,063 - Yeah. You don't know the half of it. 79 00:03:15,716 --> 00:03:18,371 - Oh, are you okay? 80 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:21,896 - No. Are you? 81 00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,071 No. 82 00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:35,301 - Jesus, they took him out. - What the hell we gonna do? 83 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:38,217 - What was that? 84 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,139 - Vin! 85 00:03:47,182 --> 00:03:50,360 Vinny! 86 00:04:08,639 --> 00:04:10,597 - Death is not a loss for my people, 87 00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,773 not like it is for humans. 88 00:04:12,817 --> 00:04:14,775 Where I am from, everything that exists 89 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,951 is all part of the same ecosystem. 90 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:19,737 When our life is over, we simply change form 91 00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:21,956 and return to where we started, 92 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,436 part of the planet. 93 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,309 We never really die. 94 00:04:26,352 --> 00:04:30,617 - Harry, your blood is turning alien. 95 00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:32,271 - The wound is making me weaker. 96 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:35,274 I need you to take the bullet out so that I can heal faster. 97 00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:38,016 Human emotions make death difficult for them. 98 00:04:38,059 --> 00:04:41,541 It adds fear and sadness to something very natural. 99 00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,369 The man Asta shot may have family 100 00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:45,197 who will mourn the end of his life. 101 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:49,941 But he also tried to kill me, so rot into dirt, ham bag. 102 00:04:55,250 --> 00:05:00,081 - Okay. Everyone's gone. 103 00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:03,476 So do we want to talk about the dead guy? 104 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,349 - He killed Sam Hodges. 105 00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,570 - Yeah, that's right. 106 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:13,268 We followed clues in New York, which led us to him. 107 00:05:13,312 --> 00:05:14,487 - Found those clues. 108 00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,403 - Yeah, and he knew that we knew that... 109 00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:18,709 - He knew we knew it. 110 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:21,146 - He, uh... what he did, and... - He did it. 111 00:05:21,189 --> 00:05:22,930 - So he came here to kill us. 112 00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,889 - Tried to kill us. 113 00:05:24,932 --> 00:05:27,413 - Right. I was just gonna see 114 00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,817 if you had, like, a woodchipper I could chuck the body into. 115 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:31,025 - What? 116 00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:33,550 No! We have to tell the police! 117 00:05:33,593 --> 00:05:36,596 We should've told Mike. This is self-defense. 118 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,947 - You cannot do that. If you tell the police, 119 00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:43,386 then the bad people will know that you killed their friend, 120 00:05:43,429 --> 00:05:44,865 and then they will come 121 00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:48,652 and kill you and everyone that is close to you. 122 00:05:48,695 --> 00:05:51,219 - Wait, who are these people? 123 00:05:51,263 --> 00:05:54,875 Sorry, I don't understand. 124 00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:58,662 Is this why you've been so secretive this whole time? 125 00:05:58,705 --> 00:06:01,578 You were just investigating Sam's murder? 126 00:06:01,621 --> 00:06:03,188 Why didn't you just tell me? 127 00:06:03,231 --> 00:06:08,149 - She did not tell you because she didn't want you to know. 128 00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:09,553 - I get it. You were protecting me. 129 00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:12,371 Well, now I'm protecting you, okay? 130 00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:14,068 Hey, no one's gonna hurt you. 131 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,244 Nothing bad's gonna happen, all right? 132 00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:19,683 I'm gonna go outside. I'm gonna check the body, 133 00:06:19,726 --> 00:06:25,210 and you are gonna stay here with Harry, fix him up. 134 00:06:25,253 --> 00:06:27,081 We got this. 135 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:30,041 Okay? - Okay. 136 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,746 Is she gonna be okay? 137 00:06:39,790 --> 00:06:42,140 There's still an alien baby outside. 138 00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:44,664 - Do you mean the alien baby who attached to my head 139 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,710 to warn me that there is an evil alien race 140 00:06:46,753 --> 00:06:48,712 planning on taking over Earth? 141 00:06:48,755 --> 00:06:53,281 The gunshots scared it back into the lake. 142 00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,762 - Well, you're very lucky, 143 00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,764 because if this had been a few inches lower, 144 00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,525 it would've hit your heart, and you'd be dead. 145 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:03,117 - Mm. - Wait. would you have died, 146 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,946 or would you just turn back to alien? 147 00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,470 - If the bullet hit the human heart, 148 00:07:07,513 --> 00:07:08,775 it would kill this body 149 00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,125 before I could turn back into an alien. 150 00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,522 Then I would die too. 151 00:07:18,698 --> 00:07:21,222 - Oh, Harry. 152 00:07:21,266 --> 00:07:22,528 - I'm not dead. 153 00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,270 I am alive because you killed the bad man. 154 00:07:25,313 --> 00:07:26,880 Thank you, Asta. 155 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,275 - You're welcome. 156 00:07:30,318 --> 00:07:33,365 - I do not like this human feeling of being almost-dead. 157 00:07:33,408 --> 00:07:36,803 When I get a burnt potato in my hashbrowns, 158 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,806 I put it to the side of my plate and ignore it. 159 00:07:39,850 --> 00:07:42,505 I will do the same with death. 160 00:07:42,548 --> 00:07:44,202 I feel better already. 161 00:08:13,361 --> 00:08:16,451 - Well, I found his car. 162 00:08:16,495 --> 00:08:19,672 I was wrong about tossing the guy into a woodchipper. 163 00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:22,153 Unless... - I do not have a woodchipper! 164 00:08:22,196 --> 00:08:24,198 - Well, we can't make him disappear anyway. 165 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:26,897 We have to plant the body somewhere. 166 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,855 He was staying at the Copper Ridge, 167 00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,465 that shitty motel on the edge of town. 168 00:08:30,509 --> 00:08:33,164 It's in the middle of nowhere, quiet, no security cameras. 169 00:08:33,207 --> 00:08:35,446 It's one of the top three places to plant a body in town. 170 00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:38,212 We'll bag the body, limit how much DNA we get on it. 171 00:08:38,256 --> 00:08:39,823 I'll drive his car to the motel. 172 00:08:39,866 --> 00:08:42,042 You two dump his body in the hot tub out back. 173 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:43,609 - Mm. - We want the body in hot water 174 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:44,958 to help muddy the evidence. 175 00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,221 We'll plant his gun on him, make him look shady. 176 00:08:47,265 --> 00:08:49,267 Harry, you melt down the rifle that shot him. 177 00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:51,225 - Ha! - All right, 178 00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:54,402 now he's just a dead guy in a hot tub at a shitty motel. 179 00:08:54,446 --> 00:08:56,970 - "Law and Order." 180 00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,102 - "CSI." 181 00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,282 I'll go bring his car around. 182 00:09:07,285 --> 00:09:10,636 - That's not the only thing we will plant on him! 183 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,423 The medical records! 184 00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:19,253 We must sneak these into the trunk of Mr. Dead Guy's car, 185 00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:22,082 and then when they find the dead body, they will find these 186 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,868 and they will blame him for Sam Hodges' death, 187 00:09:24,911 --> 00:09:28,654 and then my name will be cleared forever. 188 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:31,744 Your Honor, the evidence is clear! 189 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:34,573 There is no evidence to convict my client! 190 00:09:34,617 --> 00:09:36,793 I rest my case! Cun... 191 00:09:36,836 --> 00:09:38,882 Does "CSI" have a "clung-clung?" 192 00:09:38,925 --> 00:09:40,927 - That doesn't help me. 193 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:43,800 Harry, even if they think that he killed Sam, 194 00:09:43,843 --> 00:09:46,585 I still killed him. - It will work. 195 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,196 Mayor Snowflake has asked me to be the town doctor. 196 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,937 I will accept. I will do the autopsy. 197 00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,460 I will fake the results. 198 00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:56,290 I will make sure that Sheriff Hat and Deputy Sadsmile 199 00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:57,727 do not think you did it. 200 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:05,517 - "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley. 201 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:11,566 This audiobook is read to you by Ms. Judith Cooper. 202 00:10:11,610 --> 00:10:15,353 "Letter One. To Mrs. Savi..." 203 00:10:15,396 --> 00:10:17,355 Sa... Savayle? 204 00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,532 Say, Say-vayle. I... one of those. 205 00:10:20,575 --> 00:10:22,447 - Hey there, skank-arooni. 206 00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:24,057 - Oh, hey! 207 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:26,166 - Are you still trying to get that audiobook thing going? 208 00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,974 - Oh, yeah. I got a new microphone. 209 00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,542 So it's, like, really professional now. 210 00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:32,607 - Oh, it looks like you're still recording right now. 211 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:33,937 - Oh, yeah. It doesn't matter. 212 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,721 Do you wanna watch me in action? 213 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,854 - Yeah, sure, yeah. - Okay. 214 00:10:37,897 --> 00:10:41,684 "The commencement of an enterprise, 215 00:10:41,727 --> 00:10:47,124 which you have regarded with such evil forebodings." 216 00:10:47,167 --> 00:10:49,256 This one is gonna scare 217 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,997 the poop out of my butt. 218 00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:53,086 - Yeah, I don't think that part's in the book. 219 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:56,394 But I brought you these, though, from a party I was at. 220 00:10:56,437 --> 00:10:58,265 - Oh! Deviled eggs. 221 00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,398 I didn't know about a party. That's so weird. 222 00:11:00,441 --> 00:11:02,052 - Hmm. - Oh, I bet 223 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,290 you probably tried to call me, 224 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:07,318 but my phone is, like, so crazy. 225 00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:10,451 Thank you. Yummers. 226 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:11,801 Oh, my God... 227 00:11:11,844 --> 00:11:14,194 So good. 228 00:11:14,238 --> 00:11:18,546 - Human corpses decay and get smelly so quickly. 229 00:11:18,590 --> 00:11:22,681 Why can't you turn to stone like my people when you die? 230 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,727 - Can we not talk about this? 231 00:11:24,770 --> 00:11:26,250 I just wanna get this over with. 232 00:11:26,293 --> 00:11:27,686 - Mmm! 233 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,123 - You might wanna slow down there. 234 00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,212 - Well, mmm... I'm really hungry. 235 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:35,041 Also, I really like these, like, they're nice and warm, 236 00:11:35,085 --> 00:11:36,347 you know? You can really, like, 237 00:11:36,390 --> 00:11:37,391 smell 'em. 238 00:11:37,435 --> 00:11:38,871 - Mm... 239 00:11:38,915 --> 00:11:40,917 - Can I have one more? - Yeah. 240 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,136 Uh, do you have a bathroom close by? 241 00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:44,790 - Mm-hmm. - Mm, good. 242 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:46,792 - Why? - Ah. 243 00:12:05,463 --> 00:12:07,073 - Hey! 244 00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:11,512 Wake up, drunky! Better not be pissing in there. 245 00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:17,127 People don't listen. 246 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,914 How's he even, like, breathing in there? 247 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,010 - This way. - You set me up. 248 00:13:14,053 --> 00:13:16,534 - If I had set you up, I would be with all those men 249 00:13:16,577 --> 00:13:20,799 and dogs that are clearly chasing both of us. 250 00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:30,722 - Tell me everything we know about the Galvan/Powell Group. 251 00:13:30,765 --> 00:13:33,072 - Multinational conglomerate, 252 00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:36,075 um, businesses all over the world, 253 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:40,427 and interests in everything from energy to shipping. 254 00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,908 - And all the names we found in Sam's office 255 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:45,345 are top executives that work there. 256 00:13:45,389 --> 00:13:48,392 - Maybe they had something to do with Sam's death 257 00:13:48,435 --> 00:13:51,177 and writing the names down was his insurance policy. 258 00:13:51,221 --> 00:13:52,700 - Yeah, that's a good guess. 259 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,722 Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they all killed him. 260 00:13:54,746 --> 00:13:55,941 Look at them rich people names: 261 00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,924 Troy Hendricks, Tanner Corrington. 262 00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:00,317 Sound like old-money murderers 263 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,058 who killed their way out of trouble. 264 00:14:02,101 --> 00:14:04,495 The parents too busy buying yachts and wearing visors 265 00:14:04,538 --> 00:14:05,800 to teach 'em right from wrong. 266 00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,672 - They probably wear belts 267 00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:09,761 that have whales and lobsters on 'em. 268 00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:11,154 - Just a bunch 269 00:14:11,197 --> 00:14:13,634 of generational-wealth, privileged-as-hell, 270 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:18,596 lacrosse-ass, pastel-shorts, boat-shoed mother... 271 00:14:18,639 --> 00:14:23,949 Sorry about the swearing. - Oh, I swear all the time too. 272 00:14:23,993 --> 00:14:27,213 Look at that guy, Gray Buchanan. 273 00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:30,260 - What an old shit... 274 00:14:30,303 --> 00:14:33,785 head, asshole guy. Right, sir? 275 00:14:33,828 --> 00:14:35,439 - Yeah. Actually, yeah. 276 00:14:35,482 --> 00:14:37,876 You took some of them words right out of my mouth. 277 00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,973 - Harry! 278 00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,802 Oh, sorry. Dr. Vanderspeigle. 279 00:14:50,845 --> 00:14:52,195 Come in! Come in. 280 00:14:52,238 --> 00:14:55,067 How was the rest of your birthday? 281 00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,373 - I would like to talk to you 282 00:14:56,416 --> 00:15:00,855 about the offer for me to be town doctor again! 283 00:15:00,899 --> 00:15:04,772 - Yeah. - I accept. 284 00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:06,818 - Wow, that is incredible. 285 00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:08,776 - With these conditions: 286 00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:12,171 I want the traffic outside my office eliminated. 287 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,217 I want my own kitchen. 288 00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:19,004 I want that little Ellen nurse to not talk, 289 00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:23,008 and if she steals granola bars from my desk, 290 00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:26,620 I wanted her capital-punished. 291 00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:29,754 - Okay, well, two of those are impossible, 292 00:15:29,797 --> 00:15:31,408 and one is kind of illegal. 293 00:15:31,451 --> 00:15:33,323 How about a white noise machine? 294 00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,673 You know, it might block the traffic sounds. 295 00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:37,153 - No deal! 296 00:15:37,196 --> 00:15:38,893 - Sheriff, Judy Cooper's on the phone 297 00:15:38,937 --> 00:15:40,721 from the Copper Ridge Motel. 298 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:42,071 - Okay, deal. 299 00:15:42,114 --> 00:15:44,160 I accept the position. I am now the town doctor. 300 00:15:44,203 --> 00:15:45,813 You cannot take it back. 301 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,859 - O... okay! 302 00:15:47,902 --> 00:15:49,165 Great! - Mm-hmm. 303 00:15:49,208 --> 00:15:50,969 - Ah, Deputy, we got ourselves another murder! 304 00:15:52,559 --> 00:15:54,039 - What? 305 00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:57,477 - Oh, no, a murder. What a terrible day. 306 00:16:00,872 --> 00:16:03,005 - I remember he checked in at 6:00, 307 00:16:03,048 --> 00:16:04,745 because I was eating my salami. 308 00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:07,009 - And that's the last time you saw him alive, 309 00:16:07,052 --> 00:16:08,532 when he checked in last night? 310 00:16:08,575 --> 00:16:11,361 - No, I saw him again later in the parking lot. 311 00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:14,625 He was talking to two men in a black van. 312 00:16:14,668 --> 00:16:16,583 Hello, Sheriff. 313 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,890 I knew that I was probably gonna see you, 314 00:16:18,933 --> 00:16:20,674 So, um, 315 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,068 I made you an audiobook. 316 00:16:23,112 --> 00:16:25,375 - "Autobiography of Malcolm X." 317 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:29,770 - Oh, Judy... - Oh, it's not Malcolm Ten? 318 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,251 I'll redo it. I thought that the X was a ten. 319 00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,862 You know, like, in Roman numerals. 320 00:16:34,906 --> 00:16:38,562 - Can you tell us anything about the men in the van? 321 00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:41,260 - I didn't see 'em real good, honestly. 322 00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:45,090 I did see a skunk, though, and I followed it for a while... 323 00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:48,485 - Did you hear a gunshot? - No. 324 00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,139 I actually didn't really hear anything. 325 00:16:50,182 --> 00:16:52,445 D'arcy stopped by with food. 326 00:16:52,489 --> 00:16:55,274 She was really upset because I couldn't go to this party 327 00:16:55,318 --> 00:16:58,408 that she went to, so she brought me devil's eggs. 328 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,584 - Oh, did you like them? - Oh, yeah. 329 00:17:00,627 --> 00:17:02,455 They were really good. - Oh. 330 00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,172 - And luckily, there were still a couple left on the counter 331 00:17:04,196 --> 00:17:06,677 this morning, so I finished 'em. 332 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,549 - Oh, are you having any stomach issues? 333 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:13,205 - Oh, yeah. Real bad. 334 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:14,902 - All right, excuse me. 335 00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:16,774 Mr. Mayor, Dr. V. 336 00:17:16,817 --> 00:17:20,952 - I heard that there was another murder in Patience, 337 00:17:20,995 --> 00:17:23,781 and I am devastated at this news. 338 00:17:23,824 --> 00:17:25,411 - Yeah, see, we might have an issue with that. 339 00:17:25,435 --> 00:17:27,524 Little known fact: this hot tub 340 00:17:27,567 --> 00:17:30,527 is actually over the county line into Jessup. 341 00:17:30,570 --> 00:17:33,356 So Jessup hot tub, Jessup murder. 342 00:17:33,399 --> 00:17:35,445 Uh, suck on that, Mayor Mitch. 343 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:39,275 - Huh, well, maybe the shooter was on the Patience side. 344 00:17:39,318 --> 00:17:41,451 - Well, maybe we should, uh, 345 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,168 take a gander at the security cameras and see. 346 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:45,237 - There are no security cameras! 347 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,326 Is my guess. - He's right. 348 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:51,113 We're very discreet here, so... I mean, 349 00:17:51,156 --> 00:17:54,768 two people could just disappear into a motel room right now 350 00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:57,467 and do just about anything, 351 00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,339 and nobody would know... 352 00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,776 I'll be right back. 353 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:04,430 - Look, with all due respect, Mr. Mayor, 354 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,910 I'm the sheriff of Patience, 355 00:18:05,953 --> 00:18:08,478 and this, to me, looks like a Patience crime scene. 356 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,306 - And I'm the doctor from Patience, 357 00:18:10,349 --> 00:18:15,659 and I will do the autopsy, and you can suck on that... 358 00:18:15,702 --> 00:18:17,139 with no respect! 359 00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,708 - Not very kind. 360 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,667 - Sir, you're not gonna believe this. 361 00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:26,322 - The victim was one of the names on Sam's list: 362 00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:28,193 Tanner Corrington... 363 00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,542 And he had a gun in his jacket. 364 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:34,895 - What an interesting name I've never heard of. 365 00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:36,027 - Well, well, well. 366 00:18:36,070 --> 00:18:37,942 So Mr. Silver Spoon Fancy Pants 367 00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:43,034 was carrying and got murdered? Surprise, surprise. 368 00:18:43,077 --> 00:18:45,819 - I'm so surprised. 369 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,038 Wow. 370 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:53,368 - Yes, hello. 371 00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:54,785 My name is Johnny Smithson. 372 00:18:54,828 --> 00:18:57,570 I'd like to report a murder that happened in Jessup. 373 00:19:02,314 --> 00:19:08,451 - It's an odd feeling to know that you are going to die soon. 374 00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:10,279 - I am glad this appointment is over. 375 00:19:10,322 --> 00:19:12,150 Whenever this man mentions dying, 376 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,891 that bad feeling I have about death 377 00:19:13,934 --> 00:19:16,633 climbs to the top of my stomach. 378 00:19:16,676 --> 00:19:19,897 Soon, it will not matter to you what being dead is like, 379 00:19:19,940 --> 00:19:22,160 because you will be dead. 380 00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:27,078 - I love your bedside manner. 381 00:19:27,121 --> 00:19:29,341 I'll miss it when I'm gone. 382 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:32,866 - No, you will not, because you will be dead. 383 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:34,825 Goodbye, now. 384 00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:37,436 - You think I should give him a different dose? 385 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,612 - One deceased male, fatal gunshot wound. 386 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,224 Where do you want him for the autopsy? 387 00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,703 - Uh... 388 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,444 - Alive people wait in the lobby. 389 00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,924 Dead people wait in exam one. 390 00:20:00,024 --> 00:20:03,201 - Hey. Much-needed day drink? 391 00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:06,291 - I need your help. How am I supposed to... 392 00:20:06,335 --> 00:20:10,252 - What, live your life just like normal? 393 00:20:10,295 --> 00:20:11,427 Hello, Asta. 394 00:20:11,470 --> 00:20:13,298 Here is your normal 3:00 p.m. whiskey, 395 00:20:13,342 --> 00:20:15,300 which you have every day at this time. 396 00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:21,741 - Oh, yeah, normal. 397 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:24,396 I'm never gonna be normal again. 398 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:25,765 I'm supposed to pick up Jay tomorrow 399 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,070 and take her to lunch for her birthday. 400 00:20:27,094 --> 00:20:28,879 - Holy shit. That's amazing. 401 00:20:28,922 --> 00:20:31,534 - It would be if I wasn't a murderer. 402 00:20:31,577 --> 00:20:33,057 - Okay, you're not a murderer. 403 00:20:33,100 --> 00:20:34,928 You're just an innocent woman 404 00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,975 that got caught up in all this shit because of Harry. 405 00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:40,804 You shouldn't trust that guy, by the way. 406 00:20:40,847 --> 00:20:43,197 He moved a body last night. - So did we! 407 00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:45,809 - Yeah, but you know, it's us. We made it look cool. 408 00:20:45,852 --> 00:20:49,334 It's like people who can rock a pair of bell-bottoms, you know? 409 00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,075 - I think we should tell the police. 410 00:20:51,118 --> 00:20:52,685 Maybe I should tell Liv. 411 00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:56,080 What if this guy has a family? - Okay, you have a family... 412 00:20:56,123 --> 00:20:57,710 All right, starting with me, your ne'er-do-well 413 00:20:57,734 --> 00:21:02,434 but lovable soul sister, and if you go to the police, 414 00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:04,436 they'll just send more bad guys to kill you, 415 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,133 and then I'll have to kill all of them, 416 00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:07,352 and spend the rest of my life 417 00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:08,590 in my safe house in Puerto Vallarta, 418 00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:09,678 which I can't really be there 419 00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:10,853 for more than two weeks at a time, 420 00:21:10,877 --> 00:21:12,662 and I hate going by the name Veronica. 421 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:18,189 Okay. Well, you make a good point. 422 00:21:18,232 --> 00:21:19,973 - Thanks. 423 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,516 - All right, that's fine. Keep me posted. 424 00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:22,585 - Yes, sir. 425 00:21:22,628 --> 00:21:26,153 - Okay. Thank you. - Thanks. 426 00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:30,288 - Only three occupants in the motel aside from the victim, 427 00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:33,117 and no one heard a gunshot or anything unusual. 428 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:34,858 You find the murder weapon yet? 429 00:21:34,901 --> 00:21:36,425 - No. - Shit. 430 00:21:36,468 --> 00:21:39,950 We got no gunshots. We got no gun. 431 00:21:39,993 --> 00:21:42,169 - They could've used a silencer. 432 00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:45,521 - Or maybe it's an icicle riddle, right? 433 00:21:45,564 --> 00:21:48,132 He gets stabbed with an icicle, it melts. 434 00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:50,134 That's the perfect crime. 435 00:21:50,177 --> 00:21:51,875 - It looked like a bullet wound, sir. 436 00:21:51,918 --> 00:21:55,313 - Yeah, maybe it was an ice gun firing an ice bullet, right? 437 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,160 The bullet friction, that'll melt the gun right away, 438 00:21:57,184 --> 00:21:59,249 so that's a one-time-use-only weapon, and the killer, 439 00:21:59,273 --> 00:22:00,405 he's gotta be somebody 440 00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:01,469 who knows how to meditate or something, 441 00:22:01,493 --> 00:22:02,973 keep the body temperature low enough 442 00:22:03,016 --> 00:22:04,627 that their hand don't melt the gun. 443 00:22:04,670 --> 00:22:07,325 So maybe the killer's like a Tibetan monk, right, 444 00:22:07,369 --> 00:22:09,371 who mediated before he shot the guy... 445 00:22:09,414 --> 00:22:11,503 Not enough to bring him inner peace, though. 446 00:22:11,547 --> 00:22:13,984 He was still angry enough to kill a man. 447 00:22:14,027 --> 00:22:15,986 That's sad. 448 00:22:16,029 --> 00:22:19,293 - Or maybe he was shot with a regular gun, 449 00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:22,166 and the murderer left with it. 450 00:22:22,209 --> 00:22:24,255 - See, that's thinking inside the box. 451 00:22:24,298 --> 00:22:25,865 You think in, I think out. 452 00:22:25,909 --> 00:22:27,954 That's why we make such a good team, ha ha. 453 00:22:29,869 --> 00:22:31,480 Hey! What are you doing with that? 454 00:22:31,523 --> 00:22:33,371 That's the victim's car! We ain't done with that yet! 455 00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,658 - I'm sorry, sir. We didn't order this. 456 00:22:35,701 --> 00:22:37,442 - I did. Hi. 457 00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:39,401 Detective Lena Torres, Jessup Police. 458 00:22:39,444 --> 00:22:42,491 - Hello, what the hell are you doing in my crime scene? 459 00:22:42,534 --> 00:22:44,362 - I could ask you the same question, though. 460 00:22:44,406 --> 00:22:47,060 The answer is pretty obvious, isn't it? 461 00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:48,845 The body was found in a hot tub in my town. 462 00:22:48,888 --> 00:22:50,237 - Huh. 463 00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:51,456 No, I don't think so. 464 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,676 This here is a Patience crime, okay? 465 00:22:53,719 --> 00:22:54,720 We got here first. 466 00:22:54,764 --> 00:22:56,461 You just can't go towing that car. 467 00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:57,945 - I didn't see your crime tape on it. 468 00:22:57,984 --> 00:23:00,117 - Well, that's because we ran out 469 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,337 and had to switch to yellow birthday party streamers, 470 00:23:03,381 --> 00:23:05,514 which disintegrated in the rain. 471 00:23:05,557 --> 00:23:06,926 - I think you'll agree that it makes the most sense 472 00:23:06,950 --> 00:23:08,995 for us to take over the investigation. 473 00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,214 Jessup forensic yard's 474 00:23:10,257 --> 00:23:11,713 got a bigger budget and more manpower. 475 00:23:11,737 --> 00:23:13,130 - Huh. Well, I disagree. 476 00:23:13,173 --> 00:23:14,629 - You still haven't introduced yourself. 477 00:23:14,653 --> 00:23:15,891 I guess they don't have etiquette teachers 478 00:23:15,915 --> 00:23:17,003 here in Patience? 479 00:23:17,047 --> 00:23:18,527 - I'm Sheriff Mike Thompson. 480 00:23:18,570 --> 00:23:21,399 You can call me Big Black. - In that case, 481 00:23:21,443 --> 00:23:24,010 you can call me Medium Brown. 482 00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:27,623 - I'm Liv. I'm white. 483 00:23:27,666 --> 00:23:29,538 - Nice to meet you. 484 00:23:29,581 --> 00:23:33,411 Okay, well, I'll loop you in if I need any help. 485 00:23:33,455 --> 00:23:34,649 - You see how she swung her finger around 486 00:23:34,673 --> 00:23:36,109 like she can loop? 487 00:23:36,153 --> 00:23:38,634 How you gonna loop me into somethin' I'm already in? 488 00:23:38,677 --> 00:23:40,113 - Have a nice day! 489 00:23:40,157 --> 00:23:41,288 - I'm the loop... 490 00:23:51,168 --> 00:23:54,084 - Hey, Dr. V. I'm so glad you're back. 491 00:23:54,127 --> 00:23:56,521 I am really relieved 492 00:23:56,565 --> 00:23:59,916 to be able to continue our therapy sessions. 493 00:23:59,959 --> 00:24:04,529 I do not want to do it. But it is part of the job. 494 00:24:04,573 --> 00:24:07,401 - Smart strategy. Act indifferent 495 00:24:07,445 --> 00:24:10,274 so you don't seem like a therapist and I open up more. 496 00:24:10,317 --> 00:24:13,277 - I actually do not care. - That's brilliant. 497 00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:17,890 - Hi. - Your wife followed you. 498 00:24:17,934 --> 00:24:19,283 She's taking off her clothes. 499 00:24:19,326 --> 00:24:21,111 Please do not have sex in my office! 500 00:24:21,154 --> 00:24:23,417 - I am so sorry about last night. 501 00:24:23,461 --> 00:24:25,594 It's just a lot of stuff got stirred up, 502 00:24:25,637 --> 00:24:30,599 and one thing led to another. It's just so embarrassing. 503 00:24:30,642 --> 00:24:33,297 - I threw away all of the bath towels 504 00:24:33,340 --> 00:24:37,997 and the bath mats and the soap and my loofah. 505 00:24:39,433 --> 00:24:42,785 - So Kate had a great idea. 506 00:24:42,828 --> 00:24:46,745 Um, she suggested that we try therapy together. 507 00:24:46,789 --> 00:24:50,967 - So she is controlling. - You said I was controlling? 508 00:24:51,010 --> 00:24:53,447 - No. Uh, no, I don't think 509 00:24:53,491 --> 00:24:54,797 those were my exact words. 510 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:59,323 - He also said he hates your honey-glazed salmon. 511 00:24:59,366 --> 00:25:01,586 - No, again, did not... 512 00:25:01,630 --> 00:25:03,327 - That salmon is my specialty dish. 513 00:25:03,370 --> 00:25:05,111 - Love it. - He said the only thing 514 00:25:05,155 --> 00:25:06,765 special about it 515 00:25:06,809 --> 00:25:12,205 was that something that lives in the water could be so dry. 516 00:25:12,249 --> 00:25:14,556 - See, this is the problem. 517 00:25:14,599 --> 00:25:16,949 I want him to feel comfortable telling me these things. 518 00:25:16,993 --> 00:25:20,257 - Mm, do not talk to me. Talk directly to your husband. 519 00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:22,433 I do not care. 520 00:25:22,476 --> 00:25:25,175 - Yeah, that's his strategy. 521 00:25:28,395 --> 00:25:33,052 - Honey, I know you have a hard time talking to me, 522 00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:37,666 and that's... it's okay. But I don't want it to be hard. 523 00:25:37,709 --> 00:25:40,494 So I wanna make space for you to tell me whatever you want. 524 00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:44,063 You can tell me anything, and it's okay. 525 00:25:44,107 --> 00:25:50,635 - Okay, well, uh, thank you, and thank you for the space. 526 00:25:50,679 --> 00:25:52,681 Without space, what do you have? 527 00:25:52,724 --> 00:25:53,986 Things. You know, 528 00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:57,033 things next to things, which creates density, 529 00:25:57,076 --> 00:26:00,166 which also means a lack of knowing, 530 00:26:00,210 --> 00:26:03,039 and sometimes the first step in not knowing 531 00:26:03,082 --> 00:26:07,043 is knowing that you don't know. 532 00:26:07,086 --> 00:26:08,194 - What are you talking about? 533 00:26:08,218 --> 00:26:09,785 - You're supposed to let him talk. 534 00:26:09,828 --> 00:26:12,222 - I am, but he's not saying anything. 535 00:26:12,265 --> 00:26:13,658 We're having a baby. 536 00:26:13,702 --> 00:26:15,529 You know, we have to talk about it. 537 00:26:15,573 --> 00:26:16,637 You know, I don't want to be 538 00:26:16,661 --> 00:26:17,899 the person in your life who you... 539 00:26:17,923 --> 00:26:19,838 - I have more important things to do 540 00:26:19,882 --> 00:26:22,536 than listen to unimportant marriage arguments. 541 00:26:22,580 --> 00:26:23,929 The sooner I get them out, 542 00:26:23,973 --> 00:26:27,193 the sooner I can start doing my fake autopsy. 543 00:26:27,237 --> 00:26:28,847 I will wait for her to stop talking, 544 00:26:28,891 --> 00:26:31,894 then I will jump in and tell them I have to leave. 545 00:26:34,287 --> 00:26:36,725 She is not stopping. 546 00:26:36,768 --> 00:26:40,859 - Wow, I think that was a very good start. 547 00:26:40,903 --> 00:26:42,687 Thank you, Dr. Vanderspeigle. 548 00:26:45,255 --> 00:26:47,692 - Do you, um, do you think it went well? 549 00:26:47,736 --> 00:26:49,868 - I don't know. 550 00:26:49,912 --> 00:26:54,351 I was doing math problems in my head just to pass the time. 551 00:26:54,394 --> 00:26:57,093 What are they doing with my body... hey! 552 00:26:57,136 --> 00:27:00,270 - Ah, well, Jessup police are taking over the investigation 553 00:27:00,313 --> 00:27:01,334 because the hot tub's in their town. 554 00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,465 So they're gonna handle everything. 555 00:27:02,489 --> 00:27:03,752 - What do you mean everything? 556 00:27:03,795 --> 00:27:07,451 - Ballistics, you know, autopsy, everything. 557 00:27:07,494 --> 00:27:10,019 Looks like Jessup is Murder Town, USA now. 558 00:27:15,198 --> 00:27:17,679 - Hi, my name is Deputy Liv Baker, 559 00:27:17,722 --> 00:27:22,684 and I have video evidence of an unidentified aerial phenomenon 560 00:27:22,727 --> 00:27:25,687 that multiple witnesses theorize is an alien ship. 561 00:27:25,730 --> 00:27:30,300 I also believe I might've lost time, and I saw something 562 00:27:30,343 --> 00:27:31,649 I can't explain. 563 00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:37,699 I hope you get this. Also, I'm not a wacko. 564 00:27:39,744 --> 00:27:40,702 - What's goin' on? What you doin', 565 00:27:40,745 --> 00:27:42,399 an Instagram or somethin'? 566 00:27:42,442 --> 00:27:43,811 'Cause the lighting in here is terrible. 567 00:27:43,835 --> 00:27:45,247 You gotta get yourself one of them lights 568 00:27:45,271 --> 00:27:47,796 to make your skin look better, like a flesh light. 569 00:27:47,839 --> 00:27:52,191 - I don't think that's what it's, um, called. 570 00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:55,107 Fine. I'm recording a message 571 00:27:55,151 --> 00:27:58,241 to the Alien Tracker to go along with the UFO video 572 00:27:58,284 --> 00:27:59,982 I got from Eugena Plunkett. 573 00:28:00,025 --> 00:28:03,246 - Did I not tell you to do that on your own personal time only? 574 00:28:03,289 --> 00:28:04,769 - Yes, you did, sir. - Okay. 575 00:28:04,813 --> 00:28:09,513 - This is personal time. I had to go to the bathroom. 576 00:28:09,556 --> 00:28:12,081 So I'm counting this as a bathroom break, 577 00:28:12,124 --> 00:28:15,388 and I'm just gonna hold it for double long. 578 00:28:15,432 --> 00:28:17,129 - Huh. 579 00:28:17,173 --> 00:28:19,218 That logic checks out. 580 00:28:19,262 --> 00:28:21,090 So long as you don't go to the bathroom again 581 00:28:21,133 --> 00:28:22,589 until you would've gone to the bathroom 582 00:28:22,613 --> 00:28:23,938 if you were going to the bathroom now, 583 00:28:23,962 --> 00:28:25,529 and when you do go to the bathroom then, 584 00:28:25,572 --> 00:28:27,792 you gotta go twice as fast. 585 00:28:27,836 --> 00:28:30,708 - Of course. Yeah, that makes sense. 586 00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:32,710 - All right, look at that. We worked that out. 587 00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:34,233 - Could you please 588 00:28:34,277 --> 00:28:35,994 hand me some of those Post-it notes over there? 589 00:28:36,018 --> 00:28:37,671 But not them boring-ass yellow ones. 590 00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:38,736 I'm feelin' frisky. Give me them 591 00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,283 fuchsia sumbitches right there. 592 00:28:40,326 --> 00:28:42,633 - Mm, frisky. - Mm-hmm. 593 00:28:42,676 --> 00:28:44,766 - Yes, sir. - All right. 594 00:28:44,809 --> 00:28:46,308 - I'ma do all sorts of stuff with these. 595 00:28:46,332 --> 00:28:49,118 - I don't wanna know. - Thank you, Deputy. 596 00:28:54,471 --> 00:28:55,733 "Thank you for your message. 597 00:28:55,777 --> 00:28:58,736 "The Alien Tracker is very busy right now. 598 00:28:58,780 --> 00:29:03,436 But check out his upcoming tour dates below." 599 00:29:05,917 --> 00:29:09,616 I shouldn't have had that extra iced tea. 600 00:29:09,660 --> 00:29:12,228 - The alien baby has not returned. 601 00:29:12,271 --> 00:29:15,840 I need to find it so I can get the rest of Goliath's message. 602 00:29:15,884 --> 00:29:17,407 Right now, all I know is that 603 00:29:17,450 --> 00:29:21,063 there is another dangerous alien race already on Earth. 604 00:29:26,155 --> 00:29:27,809 I also know if I can't figure out 605 00:29:27,852 --> 00:29:29,071 how to get the autopsy back, 606 00:29:29,114 --> 00:29:30,855 Asta will end up in Jessup jail, 607 00:29:30,899 --> 00:29:32,944 and I will have to bake her a cake with a file in it 608 00:29:32,988 --> 00:29:35,904 like the cartoons so she can escape. 609 00:29:35,947 --> 00:29:37,949 I don't want to bake a cake. 610 00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:41,257 Why can't the cartoons bake escape pies? 611 00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:42,998 - There he is! 612 00:29:43,041 --> 00:29:45,043 Thought I'd bring some brewskis by, 613 00:29:45,087 --> 00:29:47,176 celebrate your first day back on the job. 614 00:29:47,219 --> 00:29:48,917 - I just saw you today. That is enough. 615 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,808 - Ah, that was just therapy. That doesn't count. 616 00:29:50,832 --> 00:29:52,790 This is the real hang. Just a couple of dudes, 617 00:29:52,834 --> 00:29:55,488 no girls allowed, order some 'za, huh? 618 00:29:55,532 --> 00:29:57,664 Come on, it'll be fun! - No. 619 00:29:57,708 --> 00:30:00,450 No, get back in your car. This is my house. 620 00:30:00,493 --> 00:30:02,147 - Oh, windy out here. - Leave! 621 00:30:02,191 --> 00:30:03,496 - Yeah, let's go! - No! 622 00:30:11,156 --> 00:30:13,855 - Well, just so you know, 623 00:30:13,898 --> 00:30:16,814 I'm sending you the co-pay for my next dental bill. 624 00:30:16,858 --> 00:30:21,863 - Mm, way to work in that you have insurance. 625 00:30:21,906 --> 00:30:23,429 That's hot. 626 00:30:23,473 --> 00:30:27,956 - A woman who hits on me with her mouth full... also hot. 627 00:30:30,393 --> 00:30:33,613 - Well, I figured that 628 00:30:33,657 --> 00:30:35,833 I owed you the whole dessert menu 629 00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:37,922 after standing you up last time. 630 00:30:37,966 --> 00:30:39,358 - Yeah. - Yeah, no, 631 00:30:39,402 --> 00:30:40,664 that night was just... 632 00:30:43,710 --> 00:30:50,282 Um, anyway, I'm here now. - Are you? 633 00:30:50,326 --> 00:30:51,588 Because a few minutes ago, 634 00:30:51,631 --> 00:30:53,305 I asked if you had any brothers or sisters, 635 00:30:53,329 --> 00:30:55,026 and you said, "Fine, thanks!" 636 00:30:57,115 --> 00:30:59,074 - Did I? - You know, he waited for you 637 00:30:59,117 --> 00:31:00,858 for three hours. 638 00:31:00,902 --> 00:31:03,078 I respect a man with confidence 639 00:31:03,121 --> 00:31:05,471 to return to the scene of a rejection. 640 00:31:05,515 --> 00:31:09,736 - Wow. Damn. 641 00:31:09,780 --> 00:31:12,348 - Three hours? 642 00:31:12,391 --> 00:31:13,784 - Speaks to a man's character, 643 00:31:13,827 --> 00:31:16,047 puttin' in the time for what he wants. 644 00:31:16,091 --> 00:31:17,788 Careful, D'arcy. 645 00:31:17,831 --> 00:31:20,312 Looks like you hooked yourself a real one. 646 00:31:22,619 --> 00:31:23,925 - He is... - Rude. 647 00:31:23,968 --> 00:31:25,187 - Direct. - Rude. 648 00:31:28,842 --> 00:31:32,498 - Um, no, that's wrong. 649 00:31:32,542 --> 00:31:35,458 I'm the rude one. 650 00:31:35,501 --> 00:31:37,242 I'm sorry. 651 00:31:37,286 --> 00:31:41,072 I'm here now, and I'm happy to be here. 652 00:31:41,116 --> 00:31:44,336 A little nervous, maybe. But... 653 00:31:44,380 --> 00:31:50,560 I guess some of us feel like we don't deserve nice things, 654 00:31:50,603 --> 00:31:56,087 and you're a very nice thing. 655 00:31:58,785 --> 00:32:01,614 - You're a nice thing too. 656 00:32:21,069 --> 00:32:23,985 - Yeah, how do you ruin salmon? 657 00:32:24,028 --> 00:32:26,117 I mean, you basically just shine a flashlight on it, 658 00:32:26,161 --> 00:32:27,814 and it's done. 659 00:32:27,858 --> 00:32:30,774 - This craft beer is 15% alcohol. 660 00:32:30,817 --> 00:32:33,690 Based on his flab to ab ratio, 661 00:32:33,733 --> 00:32:35,997 he will be unconscious in four minutes, 662 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:37,650 peeing himself in six. 663 00:32:37,694 --> 00:32:39,783 Not on my couch! 664 00:32:39,826 --> 00:32:42,220 - What? 665 00:32:42,264 --> 00:32:43,264 - Nothing. 666 00:32:45,484 --> 00:32:49,358 - Hey, uh... you ever play any drinking games? 667 00:32:49,401 --> 00:32:50,750 - I have a drinking game. 668 00:32:50,794 --> 00:32:52,056 Why don't you call the police 669 00:32:52,100 --> 00:32:54,711 and tell them that I should do the autopsy? 670 00:32:54,754 --> 00:32:56,626 If you do it, you win! 671 00:32:56,669 --> 00:33:00,456 - No way. 672 00:33:00,499 --> 00:33:04,895 Dead guy found in Jessup. Eh... Jessup murder. 673 00:33:07,028 --> 00:33:09,334 I could've modeled, you know? 674 00:33:09,378 --> 00:33:10,988 Did I ever tell you that? 675 00:33:11,032 --> 00:33:16,124 I was scouted at a mall one time. 676 00:33:16,167 --> 00:33:22,086 Guy came up to me, handed me a business card. 677 00:33:22,130 --> 00:33:25,263 I called it. It's legit. 678 00:33:27,657 --> 00:33:31,835 Told Kate about it once. She said, "Cool." 679 00:33:34,142 --> 00:33:37,145 You know, a guy comes up to you in a mall, gives you a hug, 680 00:33:37,188 --> 00:33:40,800 offers you a modeling gig... A little bit more than cool. 681 00:33:40,844 --> 00:33:42,672 - You know what is cool? 682 00:33:42,715 --> 00:33:44,282 Murder. 683 00:33:44,326 --> 00:33:46,371 You should fight to have this one in Patience. 684 00:33:46,415 --> 00:33:50,723 - No, we already have enough of those. 685 00:33:50,767 --> 00:33:53,813 Unless the killer, you know, 686 00:33:53,857 --> 00:33:57,339 was somehow standing in Patience, 687 00:33:57,382 --> 00:33:59,645 this is a Jessup problem. 688 00:33:59,689 --> 00:34:00,951 - What he doesn't know is, 689 00:34:00,994 --> 00:34:02,866 the real killer was definitely in Patience 690 00:34:02,909 --> 00:34:05,042 when she shot the man. 691 00:34:05,086 --> 00:34:09,655 I'm going for a walk. Do not pee on my couch! 692 00:34:09,699 --> 00:34:12,354 - He said I had Superman's jawline. 693 00:34:12,397 --> 00:34:13,833 Ouch. 694 00:34:17,446 --> 00:34:19,970 - If the mayor is not going to help me get the autopsy back, 695 00:34:20,013 --> 00:34:21,537 I will do it myself. 696 00:34:26,411 --> 00:34:28,587 Mm. 697 00:34:28,631 --> 00:34:31,808 This is the shell casing from Asta's rifle. 698 00:34:33,679 --> 00:34:37,161 If I use this correctly, I can move the focus 699 00:34:37,205 --> 00:34:40,904 of the murder and the autopsy back to Patience. 700 00:34:53,264 --> 00:34:56,093 This is the shell from the dead guy's gun... 701 00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:58,400 From the bullet that almost killed me. 702 00:35:03,709 --> 00:35:05,798 - Few inches lower and this would've hit your heart, 703 00:35:05,842 --> 00:35:08,366 and you'd be dead. - Mm. 704 00:35:16,113 --> 00:35:17,897 Now the bullet shell is gone, 705 00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:20,596 and it is like I was never shot at all. 706 00:35:20,639 --> 00:35:22,075 Mm. 707 00:35:22,119 --> 00:35:25,253 It does not bother me. Everything is fine. 708 00:35:27,124 --> 00:35:30,954 Everything is just fine. 709 00:35:49,233 --> 00:35:51,148 - So what do you got? 710 00:35:51,192 --> 00:35:53,803 - Ha, sorry if we interrupted your workout. 711 00:35:53,846 --> 00:35:56,066 - I run six miles every morning for a healthy body, 712 00:35:56,109 --> 00:35:58,851 and I do the crossword every night for a healthy mind. 713 00:35:58,895 --> 00:36:00,853 - I can solve a Rubik's Cube. 714 00:36:00,897 --> 00:36:03,682 I learned from a book, but I don't need the book anymore. 715 00:36:03,726 --> 00:36:05,989 - Cool! My little niece can do that. 716 00:36:06,032 --> 00:36:08,513 - All right, Detective Torres, this is Harry Vanderspeigle. 717 00:36:08,557 --> 00:36:10,733 He's our town doctor. He was gonna do the autopsy 718 00:36:10,776 --> 00:36:12,822 before you decided to steal his body. 719 00:36:12,865 --> 00:36:15,216 All right Dr. V, she's here. So you wanna tell me 720 00:36:15,259 --> 00:36:16,671 why you got three of my deputies out there 721 00:36:16,695 --> 00:36:18,480 scouring underneath those trees? 722 00:36:18,523 --> 00:36:23,180 - I have a working theory that I would like to share with you, 723 00:36:23,224 --> 00:36:27,228 with the aid of my assistant, Judy Pooper. 724 00:36:27,271 --> 00:36:31,319 - It's Cooper. Pooper's my butt. 725 00:36:31,362 --> 00:36:35,105 - Judy Cooter. - Cooper! 726 00:36:35,148 --> 00:36:38,674 Cooter's my lady pocket. 727 00:36:38,717 --> 00:36:40,110 - Should we get outside? 728 00:36:41,938 --> 00:36:45,246 - There was a perfect line from those trees over there 729 00:36:45,289 --> 00:36:48,379 to the hot tub. 730 00:36:48,423 --> 00:36:49,423 Go. 731 00:36:52,644 --> 00:36:56,213 With a hunting rifle, the murderer could have hidden 732 00:36:56,257 --> 00:36:58,650 over there to take the shot. 733 00:36:58,694 --> 00:37:01,871 The shot knocks the man into the water... 734 00:37:01,914 --> 00:37:03,089 Bang! - Oh! 735 00:37:03,133 --> 00:37:05,135 Oh. Ah! 736 00:37:07,572 --> 00:37:10,401 Oh, oh, oh, no. Oh, no. 737 00:37:10,445 --> 00:37:11,663 - What the hell? - Wow. 738 00:37:11,707 --> 00:37:14,144 - Why? 739 00:37:14,187 --> 00:37:15,493 Excuse me. 740 00:37:17,756 --> 00:37:19,715 - Was that good? - You did not have to 741 00:37:19,758 --> 00:37:23,371 fall in the water. I told her that. 742 00:37:23,414 --> 00:37:27,636 This is dead human soup. 743 00:37:27,679 --> 00:37:30,552 - Sheriff, I found a shell of a hunting rifle. 744 00:37:32,815 --> 00:37:34,251 - Look at that. 745 00:37:34,295 --> 00:37:37,776 - Well, that looks like an excellent working theory. 746 00:37:37,820 --> 00:37:40,649 - Sir, those trees are on the Patience side of the line. 747 00:37:40,692 --> 00:37:41,737 - Mm-hmm. 748 00:37:41,780 --> 00:37:43,652 Detective, I think we can all agree 749 00:37:43,695 --> 00:37:48,439 that this murder here crosses county lines. 750 00:37:48,483 --> 00:37:51,137 - Dr. Vanderspeigle, you got a good handle on this. 751 00:37:51,181 --> 00:37:52,704 You should take the autopsy, 752 00:37:52,748 --> 00:37:55,838 and if your theory proves correct, 753 00:37:55,881 --> 00:37:58,362 looks like we might be partners on this. 754 00:37:58,406 --> 00:37:59,842 - Ugh. - I will be happy 755 00:37:59,885 --> 00:38:01,409 to do the autopsy. 756 00:38:01,452 --> 00:38:04,716 - Probably not happy, because the man is dead. 757 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:09,242 - No, I will be very happy. 758 00:38:13,246 --> 00:38:17,338 - Judy... - This water stinks. 759 00:38:25,737 --> 00:38:27,652 - Hey, Asta. I got your text. 760 00:38:27,696 --> 00:38:29,915 What's going on? - Hey, um, 761 00:38:29,959 --> 00:38:32,657 I wanted to talk to you about something. 762 00:38:32,701 --> 00:38:34,398 - Okay. 763 00:38:34,442 --> 00:38:35,660 - Hey, girls! 764 00:38:38,402 --> 00:38:39,925 - Hi, Dan! - Hi, Dad. 765 00:38:43,015 --> 00:38:44,756 - If you tell the police, 766 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,325 then the bad people will know that you killed their friend, 767 00:38:48,369 --> 00:38:50,327 and then they will come and kill you 768 00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:53,722 and everyone that is close to you. 769 00:38:53,765 --> 00:38:56,420 - Hi? 770 00:38:56,464 --> 00:39:00,555 - I just wanted to tell you how much 771 00:39:00,598 --> 00:39:04,297 I appreciate you and Mike and all the hard work you do. 772 00:39:04,341 --> 00:39:06,387 - Thanks. - Yeah. 773 00:39:06,430 --> 00:39:08,345 - You sure that's it? 774 00:39:08,389 --> 00:39:11,957 - Yeah. Yeah, that's it. 775 00:39:15,047 --> 00:39:17,615 That's it. Okay, thanks. 776 00:39:17,659 --> 00:39:20,052 - Okay, yeah. - Cool. 777 00:39:24,970 --> 00:39:27,190 - The beaver's dexterity allows it to hold food 778 00:39:27,233 --> 00:39:29,453 in its front paws as it eats. 779 00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:32,151 The herbivore feasts on a quiet... 780 00:39:34,980 --> 00:39:36,155 - Took you long enough. 781 00:39:36,199 --> 00:39:37,809 - Oh, I'm sorry. 782 00:39:37,853 --> 00:39:42,597 Were you not enjoying the fact that I am funding your safety? 783 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,860 - I'm sorry. I'm just hungry. 784 00:39:44,903 --> 00:39:47,166 - I have a problem. 785 00:39:47,210 --> 00:39:50,561 There has to be a mole somewhere in my organization. 786 00:39:50,605 --> 00:39:52,694 Nobody else knew about our meetup. 787 00:39:52,737 --> 00:39:55,914 Nobody else could've told that sniper where to be. 788 00:39:55,958 --> 00:40:00,789 So congratulations, you're the only one who can't be the mole. 789 00:40:00,832 --> 00:40:04,793 - Huh. - But can I trust you? 790 00:40:04,836 --> 00:40:05,924 - Of course. 791 00:40:05,968 --> 00:40:07,926 - Then why did I find the alien ball 792 00:40:07,970 --> 00:40:10,233 hidden under the floorboards last night 793 00:40:10,276 --> 00:40:13,366 after I drugged your food? - You drugged me? 794 00:40:13,410 --> 00:40:15,978 - Do you think I'm stupid? You held onto this 795 00:40:16,021 --> 00:40:18,807 because it's the only thing that could've saved your life. 796 00:40:18,850 --> 00:40:21,200 - Well, if you've been drugging my food, 797 00:40:21,244 --> 00:40:23,333 then clearly, I can't trust you either. 798 00:40:23,376 --> 00:40:26,118 - Good. Now we're on the same page. 799 00:40:26,162 --> 00:40:30,906 We have an unknown common enemy. 800 00:40:30,949 --> 00:40:32,516 We're on the same side now. 801 00:40:37,913 --> 00:40:42,221 - Hey, how do I know you're not just gonna drug me again? 802 00:40:42,265 --> 00:40:43,832 - You don't. 803 00:40:48,967 --> 00:40:51,492 - Victory! The autopsy is mine. 804 00:40:51,535 --> 00:40:52,754 Now all I have to do 805 00:40:52,797 --> 00:40:54,669 is falsify the results in my favor, 806 00:40:54,712 --> 00:40:57,628 and Asta and I will be free. 807 00:41:00,588 --> 00:41:04,548 Are you ready? - Yes. 808 00:41:04,592 --> 00:41:07,638 - Here is what I will do. 809 00:41:07,682 --> 00:41:10,554 The time of death was approximately 11:45 p.m. 810 00:41:10,598 --> 00:41:15,951 I will say it was 4:00 a.m. the next morning. 811 00:41:15,994 --> 00:41:17,343 There is dirt on the body 812 00:41:17,387 --> 00:41:20,303 from when we moved it from the woods. 813 00:41:20,346 --> 00:41:22,523 I will not note that. 814 00:41:22,566 --> 00:41:25,177 There is also bruising on the carcass 815 00:41:25,221 --> 00:41:28,354 from when we dragged it over the sticks and the pinecones. 816 00:41:28,398 --> 00:41:31,053 I will not note that, either. 817 00:41:31,096 --> 00:41:33,098 You shot him from 10 feet away? 818 00:41:33,142 --> 00:41:37,799 I will say that the wound indicates that he was killed 819 00:41:37,842 --> 00:41:41,324 from 50 feet away, approximately. 820 00:41:41,367 --> 00:41:44,414 Mark the bullet's point of entry. 821 00:41:44,457 --> 00:41:46,547 This is the death hole. 822 00:41:47,896 --> 00:41:51,464 - What the hell happened? 823 00:41:51,508 --> 00:41:52,944 - Did you mark it? 824 00:42:15,663 --> 00:42:17,882 We have not finished the autopsy. 825 00:42:19,797 --> 00:42:21,451 - I can't do it. 826 00:42:21,494 --> 00:42:24,193 - Why not? 827 00:42:24,236 --> 00:42:26,978 - How do I live with myself? 828 00:42:27,022 --> 00:42:28,066 I killed him. 829 00:42:31,548 --> 00:42:34,812 How do I live the rest of my life like this? 830 00:42:34,856 --> 00:42:37,641 I just want to forget the whole thing. 831 00:42:37,685 --> 00:42:39,425 I can't do it. I can't! 832 00:42:39,469 --> 00:42:42,907 - It is okay. 833 00:42:42,951 --> 00:42:45,910 It will be okay. - No, it won't. 834 00:42:48,130 --> 00:42:50,698 It'll never be okay again. 835 00:42:50,741 --> 00:42:53,657 - I can feel her pain as if it is inside me. 836 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,140 If she could just pretend it did not happen, 837 00:42:58,183 --> 00:42:59,750 she would feel better. 838 00:42:59,794 --> 00:43:01,622 Do not think about the pain. 839 00:43:03,798 --> 00:43:05,669 - How? 840 00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:07,628 - If she cannot push the bad feelings away, 841 00:43:07,671 --> 00:43:09,586 I can help her. 842 00:43:09,630 --> 00:43:12,154 I can erase all of her memories 843 00:43:12,197 --> 00:43:14,809 of that night for her, and she will be happy again. 844 00:43:17,812 --> 00:43:22,338 She will forget, and everything will be okay. 62697

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