All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S12E14.REPACK.1080p.WEB.H264-CAKES-NHI

♪ ♪

Ooh. Locker mail.

"Recess. Playground.

Slide. Be there!"

I don't know who wrote this,

but a "please"
wouldn't have killed 'em.

Hey, Tina. This is from you?

You could have just
told me to meet you here.

Or we could have talked
at home, where we both live.

No, I got a note, too.

Aw, if we knew we
were both getting one,

we could have walked here
together, caught up on the day.

Yeah, that's a shame.
So who wrote these?

I don't know. Mom?

- Hey, guys.
Aah!

I got a note, too.

Mine says, "Hi,
Louise. Hi, Tina.

I'm the one who
wrote the notes!"

Isn't that fun?

- A little.
- Not really.

So, you were just
waiting in the slide

for... how long?

Only, like, 20 minutes.

But it has great
acoustics for singing.

♪ Locker love! ♪

- Nice.
- What do you want, Courtney?

We're wasting
precious recess time.

Okay. You know
my amazing hit song

- "Locker Love"? -No.
- Nope.

Well, I'm making
a music video for it

tomorrow here at Wagstaff.

My dad got permission
for us to shoot it

in the hallways
with the lockers.

He promised a special thanks
to the school in the credits.

And trust me-- it's gonna
put Wagstaff on the map,

because this baby is
definitely going viral!

But I need Gene to be in it!

Okay, um, maybe ask Gene?

We're Louise and Tina.

I did ask him. A lot.

He always has a
different excuse.

I'm, uh, getting my wisdom
teeth put back in that day.

Ooh, um, sorry, that's
carrot-peeling day.

It's a religious thing.

I'm, uh, washing
the dog that day.

That's what I call
my bottom half.

Why not just get
someone else to do it?

It has to be Gene.

Also, I need him to sing
the last line of the song.

No one can harmonize
with me the way he can.

We're like
Simon and Garfield.

So you guys are gonna help me

- get Gene to say yes.
- But, Courtney,

why would we ever
talk our sweet brother

into doing something
he doesn't want to do?

Cram Jammers?

Whoa.

That's right. And Fudge Flings.

And Cinnamony Crickets.

The holy trinity of candies.

We've got cases of it for the
snack table at my video shoot.

All you have to do is agree
to help out on the crew

and do some backup dancing,

and then Gene will
want to do the video, too!

Yes, we will ask Gene.

- A thousand times yes.

You get Gene to do my video,

you spend all Saturday
swimming in sugar.

It's hard to argue with
someone making perfect sense.

- Oh, I want all of those in my mouth.
- Great.

You work on Gene and I'll
catch up with you after school.

- I can't believe
you just sold your brother out

- for candy, Tina.
- You'd do the same to us.

True.

Here you go!

Burger of the day with fries.

Time fries when you're
having fun, am I right? Ha!

Just kidding. Can I
get you anything else?

- No, thank you.
- Okay, then.

I'll be right over here
if anything comes up.

- Well, he's a chatty Charles.
- Who?

- Shh! The stiff in the suit.
- Got it.

- What's his problem?
- Right?

Mr. Suit and Briefcase
thinks he's too good

to talk to a burger lady
with amazing banter.

I mean, your banter is... fine.

Plus, who wears a suit
and brings a briefcase

to a lunch by themselves?

Um, businesspeople?

♪ ♪

What was that? He thinks
I'm gonna steal his briefcase?

No one wants your
briefcase, buddy.

Yeah. No one
wants your briefcase.

Okay. Uh, I'm gonna
go back to the kitchen.

You two should maybe
stop staring at that guy.

We're not being obvious.

So, yeah, I thought of a new way

of laying on the couch
while eating chips.

I was gonna test that out.

What are you doing this weekend?

I'm gonna help Courtney
with her music video.

Ah, you got roped
into that, huh?

She's gonna have a snack
table full of really good candy,

so yeah. I'm not an idiot.

Oh, hey, are you guys talking
about Courtney's music video?

Yeah, we're doing that, too.

- You are?
- It's gonna be fun.

You should do it with us.

- Pass.
- Why?

Yeah. What, do you hate candy?

It's not just candy
you'll miss out on, Gene.

You'll be stuck
at the restaurant

while me, Tina and Peter here

are gonna be having
the time of our lives.

Bonding, making inside jokes...

For example, banana!

Ha! I'll get it.

Yeah, no, thanks. I
better get to class.

Otherwise that long division
is just gonna get longer.

- What the hell?
- Yeah, he doesn't care

about missing out on
candy or inside jokes?

- Who is he?
- I'll tell you who he's not.

He's not gonna be the
guy who gets between me

and those Cram Jammers.

Hell no.

- Bye!

Thanks for coming in!

Ha! Mr. Personality
forgot his briefcase.

- He did?
- He's gonna have to talk to me now.

Huh. He's gone.

- The guy comes in here, eats,

barely says two words,
leaves his briefcase

and, poof, nowhere to be seen.

Yeah, it doesn't add up.

He probably forgot his briefcase
because he was distracted.

By the two totally
not creepy people

- who kept staring at him.
- No, that's not it.

Let-let me see the briefcase.

There's a phone number on here.

I'll-I'll give him a call.

His name
is Billy Bandana.

What kind of name
is Billy Bandana?

Suspicious. Very suspicious.

Shh. It's ringing.

Hmm. It's a recording saying

the number is no
longer in service.

Let me see that.
Let's try and open it.

What? No. I really don't
think you should do that.

Ah, it's locked.
The plot thickens.

Look, he'll eventually
realize he forgot it here

and then he'll come
back to pick it up.

Come on, Bob. A mysterious
guy named Billy Bandana

comes in here and
leaves a briefcase?

And you have no
interest in what's inside?

Yes. That is correct.

Who are you, Billy Bandana?

And what are you
trying to tell us?

Oh, my God.

Okay, so bad news, Gene.

A lawyer delivered
this to me to give to you.

- What is it?
- Looks like a contract.

A legit one. "I hereby promise

to be in Courtney's
music video."

And if you don't do it,
you have to pay $1,000?

And then there's your signature.

Ha! This is an obvious forgery.

I sign my name
with a peace sign,

a yin-yang and
four lightning bolts.

Come on, Gene. Just
do the music video.

I told you, I don't want
anything to do with this song.

Why? What is wrong with you?

We're talking about
all the best candy,

and we're talking
about tons of it!

- What are we doing?
- Shh. We're huddling.

The reason I don't want
to help with the video

is the song stinks.

It's not even good bad.

It sounds like a
million other songs.

- Or it's trying to.
- I still don't see

why this makes
candy not taste good.

I can't be a part
of it. I just can't.

And if I tell her any of this,

- it will hurt her feelings.
Gene!

Gene! Are you in a
huddle? Room for one more?

- Sorry, Courtney, we just de-huddled.

It wasn't even that
good. Trust me.

- Hey.
- So, does anyone have any news for me?

- Mm-mm.
- Mm.

Oh, Gene! I'm begging you.

Please be in my video tomorrow.

Please! Uh, okay, the
sidewalk is hurting my knees.

Tomorrow? Oh, I'm going
to Wyoming this weekend.

Apparently, there's
a hole in Jackson.

I'm gonna see if I can help.

Okay. No Gene, no video.

I guess I'll cancel the shoot.

I better go tell everyone
and return all the candy.

Gene, you are literally
taking candy from babies.

- These babies!
- Yeah!

Sorry I yelled. But yeah!

Too much guilt!

I give up! Courtney!

- Hmm?
- I'll be in your video.

You will? Great!

See you all here
tomorrow afternoon

- for the shoot.

And at my house before that

for an early
lunch/creative meeting.

We're ordering in sandwiches

from Grandpa
Nini's Grand Paninis.

I'll have the turkey and
cheese! And tell Grandpa Nini

I want extra pepperoncini
and fried zucchini!

Well, Gene, I think it's nice
you're helping your friend.

Just be careful you
don't steal the show

with that cute
little tushy of yours.

I'll try not to.

And you two are
helping on this for what,

to get out of work?

- Nope. Candy.
- Yeah, candy.

Yeah, no, missing work.
Whew, gonna be rough.

I can't tell if
Louise is serious,

but I'll actually
miss being at work.

The smells. You guys.

The smell of you guys.

What's in you?

Just checking, we don't
normally bring stuff home

that people leave in
the restaurant, do we?

No, Tina, we don't.

But your mom is convinced
that something weird is going on

because the man
who owns the briefcase

ate food quietly at our
restaurant and then he left.

His name is Billy Bandana.

His number's
disconnected. It's weird.

It is kind of fun to imagine
what could be in there.

Human hands from
all of his enemies

in the briefcase business world.

- Ooh.
- Or a bunch of business bandanas?

For a working man on the go.

Maybe. Whatever it
is, it's packed so tight,

- it doesn't make a sound.
- Like Dad's boobs

- in that one sweater.

Hey, guys. Come on in.

Rupa, Julie and Peter
Pescadero are already here

getting their "Locker Love" on.

- Hey.
- Yeah, we are.
- Hi!

Gene! Buddy!

- You're here!
- Mm-hmm.

Why don't we duck into my studio

and record the last
line of the song?

Okay.

First, a quick warm-up.
Let's stretch out that voice.

♪ Open pit barbecue sauce. ♪

Now you do it.

No, thanks. I'm all warmed up.

Yeah, he barbecue
sauced all the way here.

- Now go knock 'em dead, Gene,

while you're still saucy!

Okay, I've already
recorded a guide track,

so I'll just play it
back and you sing it

- exactly the way I did.
- Okay.

♪ This might be a shocker
but I can't resist her locker ♪

♪ Locker love. ♪

♪ This might be a shocker
but I can't resist her locker ♪

♪ Locker love. ♪

♪ Love, the note
is up here, try it. ♪

- ♪ Love. ♪
- ♪ Love. ♪

- ♪ Love. ♪
- ♪ Love. ♪

You know what, I'll fix all
of this with computer magic.

Okay, but not too much
computer magic though,

because then it
sounds, you know...

Yeah. Computer magic is great.

Okay, let's just do
this one word at a time.

- ♪ This. ♪ You do it.
- ♪ This. ♪

- ♪ This. ♪
- ♪ This... ♪

is killing me.

- Hi, Teddy.
- I had a great idea.

I got this old briefcase
from the thrift store.

Why?

I filled it with printer paper,

six pens, a calculator,

a bunch of paper
clips, a granola bar

and a couple of floppy disks.

Just basic business stuff.

- Mm.
- All right. Okay.

So I was thinking
we lift this briefcase

and Billy Bandana's briefcase
and see if they feel the same.

Ooh, that's so smart!

- It-It's not.
- It is, Bob.

Now, where's his briefcase?

And here you go.

Wow. They definitely
feel different.

- They do!
- I knew it.

It's not normal
business stuff in there.

It's something else.
Something mysterious

- and maybe supernatural.
- Definitely.

Let me feel. I mean,
isn't it more likely

he just has a different
amount of business stuff

in his briefcase? Because
this is the least scientific test

that anyone's ever done
in history. No offense.

If this was a movie,
you'd get killed first, Bob.

- W-Wait, what?
- Yeah. Skeptical guy.

For your own good,
you should hang back.

Okay, so we narrowed it
down to something supernatural.

Or, like Louise said, a
bunch of human hands.

Ooh, human hands.
That makes sense.

Or... what we're all
thinkin': plutonium.

Right. I wish I hadn't
sold my Geiger counter.

- We got to open it!
- No.

We need to know if
there's plutonium in here!

- There-There's no plutonium.
- Now that you say it,

it really does feel
like human hands.

But there's no blood.
Maybe they're in baggies?

No, no, no.

You're gone.

Gene! Good, you're all finished.

I think we finally landed
on some outfits for the video.

This is mine.

- It's amazing.
- It's gorgeous.

- And that's yours.
- The same old thing every hot boy wears in every video.

Great. Hey, what
if I'm, like, a pirate?

A locker pirate?
Or a nice old nanny

who's trying to
Mrs. Doubtfire you?

Gene, you're being silly.

Gene! Buddy!

Candy!

Fine. It's great. The
costumes are great.

Yay! Come on, Gene. I'll walk
you through the storyboard.

You know how to do
flavor fingers, right?

You mean the dance
that everyone has done

in every music video
for the last five years?

- Yes!
- Does not get old.

Okay, so in the
beginning, we start out

with some flavor fingers
and then I blow you a kiss.

- Aah!

Maybe blow it,
don't blowhole it?

Oops, sorry. My
retainer gathers saliva.

I'll drain it before
I blow the kiss.

Great.

All right,
come on. Let's think.

What would a guy named Billy
Bandana pick for a combination?

Probably something
really cool, like 1999.

Mm... Nope.

Damn you, Billy Bandana.

You guys really need to stop.

Oh, come on, Bob.
What would you expect

if you left your
briefcase in a restaurant?

I would expect them
to put it in a safe place

and not mess with it.

If I locked it, I
locked it for a reason.

Well, what reason is
that, Business Bob?

Yeah! What are you
hiding, Business Bob?

Just, uh, an idea I have

that is going to revolutionize
the industry I work in.

All carefully typed
out on business paper.

What? Why are you
keeping it in your briefcase?

Keep that in a
safe at the office.

Yeah, Bob. That's
not responsible.

'Cause I was gonna
submit it to the board

at the next big meeting,
and I hope it's safe

at the restaurant I left it at!

That's great, people.

I totally get why
everyone does this dance.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Okay, one more time.

You're
doing great, Gene.

Yeah. Especially if you
don't look at your face.

I don't know if I can
take this much longer.

It's all so unoriginal.

Just hang in there.
Once we get to that shoot,

we're in Candy City.

Also, I think Courtney
really needs this.

- And by "Courtney," I mean "me."
Ow. Ow.

- And by "this," I mean "candy."

Aw, fine. I guess it
can't get any worse.

Okay! I finished
mixing the song.

♪ This might be a shocker
but I can't resist her locker ♪

♪ Locker love. ♪

- Wow.
- It sounds just like every other song I love.

I hate this, I hate
this, I hate this.

- What'd you say, Gene?
- Nothing. I love it.

I know, right? I love it, too!

Okay, let's go shoot a video!

- Yeah!

Okay, here's the snack
table, in case anyone gets

a touch of the nibbles.

Oh, look at that. I guess
I could go for a snack.

I never even thought
about eating Fudge Flings

and Cinnamony
Crickets in the same bite.

But since they're both
here, I might as well go for it.

So cute. You look like
that boy in that one thing.

And like that other
boy in that other thing.

These skinny
jeans are too skinny.

Those
aren't skinny jeans, Gene.

- They're slimmy jimmy jeans.
- Aah!

That's a lot of makeup.

Only in real life. It'll look
normal on the screen.

- Right, Daddy?
- I promise, honey.

I've done this before. I
mean, I've written jingles

that were used in commercials
where actors wear makeup,

- so... same thing.
- See?

Well, I'm gonna grab a Fudge
Fling to keep my energy up.

No candy for us until
we're finished, Gene.

The sugar is bad for our voices.

But we're lip-synching.

- It can still affect our performance!
- Bah!

Okay, in this first shot,

Courtney, you look
longingly at Gene,

and, Gene, you lean
against the lockers

looking gorgeous
and unattainable

and also like, "I'm cool."

Uh, like this?

- Cooler.
- Like... this?

- Cooler.
- This?

Whoa! Pull it back, Fonzie.

Just kidding. That's perfect.

Let's roll!

Hey! There you are!

Everything go okay in there?

Yeah. I mean, as far
as things go, it was fine.

Can I, um, get by you?

Oh, am I in your way?

Yes. You are standing
in front of the door.

Oh. So I am. But, hey, uh,

don't you need to go
cook or something?

It's Bob's Burgers, not
Bob Walks Through Doors,

right?

Linda, why don't you
want me to go out there?

Uh, come on, let's
make out. Kiss me.

- Lick it like you like it.
- Stop it.

- Lick it like you like it.
- No. Get off.

- - Teddy!
- Oh!

This is, uh, mine!

The one that I got at
the thrift store, rem--

I'm just fixing it up, making
sure that everything's good.

Yep. All good.

It says "Billy Bandana" on it.

Oh! Did I get them mixed
up? How embarrassing.

Come on, Bob. He's
almost got it open.

And why were you so
fast in the bathroom?

You usually take so long.

- Sometimes I'm fast.
- Oh, really?

Why is this about
me? Teddy, stop!

You're gonna mess it up.

I... might have messed it up.

- Wh-What?
- Well, you startled me

when you barged in, and I
may have damaged the hinge

- a little bit a lot.
- Teddy, no.

It's Linda's fault for
being a terrible lookout.

Don't blame me. Blame
Bobby Quick-Poops.

Damn it, Bobby Quick-Poops!

Oh, my
God. That is so cool.

- Yeah. It's so music video-y.

It's like a Frankenstein
of every other video.

But less interesting
than Frankenstein.

I can't take this anymore.

This is going great.
What do you think, Dad?

I think this video
has to sneeze.

Because it's gonna go viral!

Yes! Okay! Everyone,
let's set up for the last shot!

Gene and I do the flavor
fingers and harmonize

while everyone flavor
fingers behind us!

- Let's do this!
- -All right!

I am
pumped! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Ready for this, Gene?
You feeling it, buddy?

- Ow!
- Sorry. So much sugar.

Let's just do it fast.

That's the spirit, buddy!

Eh, I'm having trouble

getting this one
hinge back on, Bobby.

- Eh.
- Well, try harder, Teddy.

I must have stripped a screw.

You really shouldn't scare
people like that, you know?

We are
definitely gonna be known

as the restaurant that rifles
through your belongings.

Or the restaurant where
they found all those hands.

Don't panic,
Bob. I just got to give this

a little push.

- Ah. Uh-oh.
Great.

Oh, no!

Well, we might as well take
a peek since the hinge fell off.

It didn't fall off.
Teddy pried it off!

- Stop it, Lin!
- I can almost see.

What's in it? What's inside?

Stop pulling it
apart. You'll pop the lock

- off the front...
- Bob, shh!

We're in too deep!

What the...

Walnuts?

- Walnuts?
- Let me see.

There's got to be
something else in there.

Nope. Just one more walnut.

Huh. So it isn't
a plutonium thing

or a hand killer thing.

Just a man who
really enjoys his nuts.

Well, you were right, Bob.

Nothing dark or mysterious here.

Are you kidding?
This is terrifying.

Who would carry
a locked briefcase

with nothing in it but walnuts?

Maybe he's a walnut salesman
and these are his samples?

You ever think of that?

This guy is definitely
a serial killer.

Eh, seems a little
far-fetched, Bob.

It's just walnuts.

Teddy, quick, can you fix this?

I-I think I've got some
screws in my truck.

- I'll go look.

- Linda, don't eat them.

What?

And... action.

♪ Does he know
that it's flirtation ♪

♪ When I do my combination? ♪

♪ 16 left, 19 right ♪

♪ Gives my
heart safe palpitations ♪

♪ This goes against
everything you believe in ♪

♪ You'll be in this
video forever ♪

♪ And it's really, really bad ♪

♪ This is what you'll
be remembered for ♪

♪ Not any good stuff ♪

♪ Just this song. ♪

- I can't do this!
- Cut! Sure,

you were a little out of
step, but it wasn't that bad.

It's finger flavor, step
and finger flavor, step,

not finger, step, flavor, step.

Not that! This!

- This is awful!
- What?

This song! This
video! All of it!

What the fudge, Gene?

Um... 15-minute crew break?

- Anyone up for some Cram Jammers?
Me!

Courtney! Honey! Court-Court!

- So, that was a little...
- Really harsh.

It's just-- I can't believe
how bad this all is.

I think everything's
been amazing.

I feel like I could rip
the lockers off the wall!

But, I mean, Gene,
Courtney's your friend, right?

- Yeah.
- And doing this video

- makes her happy, right?
- Somehow.

Well, sometimes you do
things you might not really like

for people you do
like because they like it

and it makes them happy.

Yeah, like when Tina and I
play Fossil Friends with you.

What? You don't like burying
the bones after we have chicken

and then pretending
we're finding fossils?

I mean, it's fine.

It's a little nasty.

I guess
I see your point.

About Courtney, not
the chicken bones.

We're still doing that.

I can't find Courtney anywhere.

- Let's all split up and look for her.
- On it!

You better hope we can
find her and finish this, Gene.

Or should I say "Mean Gene"?

Because you're mean.

I think I know where she is.

I got all the walnuts back in,

but I can't quite get it shut.

I think the duct
tape was a bad idea.

Oh, my God! He's
here! That's him!

- He's coming in!
- Put the briefcase back in the booth!

Oh, my God. He's gonna kill us.

Calm down, Bob. Act natural.

I'm just a guy enjoying a joke.

Welp, I got to go! Bye!

- What?!

Never mind! I'll stay.

And everything's fine.
This is a restaurant.

Hi!

Welcome to Bob's Burgers.
Uh, wh-what can I get ya?

I don't know if you remember
me. I was in here yesterday,

and I think I may
have left my briefcase.

- Huh. Doesn't ring a bell.
- There it is.

Oh! That briefcase!

Uh, hey! Um, I tried
calling the number,

uh, that was on the briefcase,

but it was no longer in service.

So, you know, no-no
reason to be upset with us.

It looks a little different.

Does it?

Oh. Well, a-a bunch of
kids were in here earlier.

- Rowdy teens.
- Some of 'em were...

using curse words.

They were
duct-taping everything.

Uh, looks like they
got your briefcase.

You know teens
and their duct tape.

- Ugh, God.
- Oh. Yeah.

They-they-they-they
did get a little on there.

- Yeah.

- What was that?
- What was what?

That crackling noise.

Sounded like you stepped on a...

- A walnut?
- Maybe.

Um, I wouldn't know
what that would sound like.

Would... you?

No.

Okay, then. Yeah.

Wait, nobody has
any more questions?

- Nope.
- I'm good.

That was freaky.

Now we'll never know what's
going on with the walnuts.

I think that's for the best.

I feel like we were just
in the presence of death.

Aw, Bob. Do you
need a hug, sweetie?

No.

Okay. Yeah. Maybe I do.

There, there.
Everyone's safe now.

I could go for one of those.

Oh. Um, okay.

- Oh

Courtney? Courtney?

No.
- Come on, Courtney.

- Let me talk to you.
- How did you know I was here?

You always say this is
where you wish you lived

so that you'd always
sound amazing.

Yes, the acoustics.

I think Dolly Parton records
all her songs in slides.

That's why she has
an amusement park.

I guess it makes sense
that you'd know I'd be here,

because... we used
to be friends and all.

We are friends, Courtney.

And I'm sorry for what I said.

It's just... your
song is not quite...

my cup of tea.

I like tea that
doesn't, you know,

taste like everyone else's tea.

But you like tea that's, like,
the most number one-selling tea.

You're talking about
tea a lot. Are you thirsty?

A little. But what I
should've realized

is you do like that kind of tea.

It makes you happy.

And I want you to be happy.

- And...
- Yeah?

What do you say we go
finish this mama-jama?

Thanks, Gene.

- Is my makeup streaking?
- No...

Maybe you should get a little
touch-up on the... face part.

♪ This might be a shocker
but I can't resist her locker ♪

♪ Locker love... ♪

♪ Locker love... ♪

♪ Does he know
that it's flirtation ♪

♪ When I do my combination? ♪

♪ 16 left, 19 right ♪

♪ Gives my heart
safe palpitations ♪

♪ When he's walking
down the hall ♪

♪ And he looks
like such a doll ♪

♪ I want that hair,
want that face ♪

♪ Want it now, I want it all ♪

♪ This might be a shocker ♪

♪ But I can't
resist her locker ♪

♪ Locker love ♪

Locker love!

♪ Locker love ♪

Locker love!

♪ Locker love. ♪

Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.