Original subtitles

Previously, on "Below Deck Sailing Yacht"...

I dare you to kiss Dani.

Yeah!

I could definitely make out with her again, that's for sure.

Were you stoked when it was, like, a mostly girl crew?

Gary's really fun, but Gary and Sydney got their thing.

Every time I do something, she's always there.

Hi.

I don't know if we can carry on kissing anymore.

I'm not here to destroy your life.

Okay.

Did a ----ing crew member use this head?

If you don't care about our department,

we're not gonna give a sh-- about the other departments.

Such a dick.

Our primary charter guest, Barrie,

and his ex-husband, Tony, have divorced.

They are still best of friends and live together

with their five children and their respective boyfriends.

-What? -What?

I don't know where nine people are sleeping.

We'll figure that out.

Oh, my God.

I was thinking that I do a lot of family-style food.

We will not have buffets.

Can I have a piña colada?

Ooh, I'll have one of those shandies.

Another vodka and coke.

Will you wash these bowls?

-Right now? -Yes, please.

You don't think washing dishes are gonna

weigh a department down, but it does.

We can't eat like this.

We have to have the food all together,

so we can all eat at the same time.

I'm ----ed.

Just for future, I don't want to see my daughter

finished her food, and then I'm waiting

for 20 minutes and my husband's waiting for 20 minutes.

-Certainly. -Please.

Certainly.

Go on, eat it, cause it's going to go cold.

The main guest, he say he doesn't want food like that,

he want everybody to get their food together.

It's impossible, we can't do that.

I know.

I think they're gonna have to eat the same thing, then.

-All right, there you go. -Thank you, my dear.

I'm so hungry.

That's good.

This isn't medium-well.

So, how's it going with these guys?

-Busy. -Busy.

-Yeah. -Yeah?

They all ordered different things.

Oh, really?

There's a comment about dinner

not coming out all at the same time.

Yeah.

It would have been nicer, warmer.

Okay, well, let's think about it for tomorrow

and see if there's something--

something we can do to try and serve them all in one go.

-Yeah. -Thank you.

You're welcome.

I feel like there's something about how your home country,

like, American girls are just boring.

I don't like Brazilian boys.

It's like you're so used to it and that's what you've grown up

with, it just gets old, know what I mean?

Something fresh, something new, something Southern.

So, do you know many Brazilians?

You didn't catch that, oh.

-Oh, I didn't hear, sorry. -No, you didn't.

I just threw the voice in there for you.

Aw!

-How you guys doing? -Good.

I just wanted to check in, make sure everything was okay.

-Yeah. -Yeah, everything's good.

Did you enjoy your meal, yeah?

-Yeah. -Cool.

How about the sailing today?

Amazing.

-Did you guys enjoy it? -Absolutely fantastic.

Fantastic. Okay, good.

Well, I hope to do some more of that again tomorrow.

Wonderful.

What else can we do, then, while we're with you guys?

What else--well, we also have sailing dinghies,

we have paddleboards,

we also are gonna do a little beach picnic tomorrow.

Okay. Oh, that'd be nice.

Thank you, Captain.

Enjoy the rest of your meal, thank you.

Thank you so much.

me, dude.

Thanks for your help, JL.

It made such a huge difference.

As long as that's what you guys wanted and needed.

It's pretty normal on most boats.

Yeah, we always get some help because we're always so busy.

I'm gonna go start bringing more stuff down.

Hey, what's up.

Hm?

I've never seen three deck crew having to help out interior.

Is it possible to get some help? We have dishes everywhere.

We never get help from them out on deck,

but as soon as they need help, it's ----ing help me right now.

Oh my God, off.

Are you all off to bed?

See you ladies tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm fixing to go to bed, eh?

Bye.

I think that's it.

I'm worried they're gonna be up early.

When Sydney wakes up at 2:00.

This dinner's a little bit depressing.

I eat, like, a kilo of spinach a week.

If I find something I like, I'm like, mm.

Like how?

-Mm! -Okay, yeah.

Really?

If I find a movie I like, I'll just watch the same movie

over and over and over again.

Me too, I've seen the movies that I like

hundreds of times.

What movies do you like?

"The Hills Have Eyes" is my favorite.

that's so scary.

-Oh, my God. -It's so good.

-Why are you awake now? -Yeah, why are you awake now?

I hate nights so much.

Like, I feel like I'm missing out on things.

-I'm going to bed. -Okay, sounds good.

This is gonna be the night.

I have to just sit there, like, in my feelings,

just, like, you know, scrubbing teak.

-Night. -Sleep tight.

That's cool.

Tonight's the drag party.

You're gonna be the star of the show, dude.

Colin, you can start taking up whenever you like.

Copy that.

Are you putting me to sleep?

Glenn, Glenn, anchor is in the pocket.

Copy, thank you.

So, we'll be there in about 20 minutes.

Cool.

You're okay in that bunk, sleeping?

Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that.

Cool.

Morning!

Interior, guests are up.

----ing great.

So, once we pick a place, we wanna kinda go in

and start establishing ourselves.

Yeah.

If you see somebody coming, you know,

just give 'em the stink-eye an do one of these.

Yeah.

You know, it's like, no, no, no, private beach, private beach.

And Barrie, would you like to order some cooked breakfast?

Yes.

Sure.

I don't know how we're gonna serve

nine breakfasts at the same time.

Mm.

I am a perfectionist, and last night's service was a disaster.

I think I was more hard on myself

because my ego was bruised.

But I didn't train at the best restaurants

in the world to be taken down by Barrie.

We've got some pancakes.

They look delicious.

So, Barrie, poached eggs, bacon, and baked beans,

all by two.

How are you gonna feel when Scott's actually your stepdad?

He will never be my stepdad,

and I will never call him my stepdad.

But say me and Scott got married one day.

What's gonna happen then?

I will never think of him as my dad, he will never be my dad.

She loves me, really.

In your wildest dreams.

She's just a dickhead at times.

Where's Brent?

Morning.

Let starboard go, you're in 45 meters.

Copy that.

My handsome boys, how you doing?

-Fine. -Did you sleep well?

Yeah.

Two shots, yeah.

You can open the swim platform.

Copy.

Anchor is on the bottom.

This is poached eggs and bacon.

What's the sauce?

Hollandaise sauce.

He didn't--well, he didn't say eggs bennie.

You sure he wants--

Oh. Okay.

Because I don't like Hollandaise sauce, so I--

Bitch, I don't question how you make a bed,

Here you go, your poached eggs and bacon.

Thank you.

I will get you some cutlery as well now.

Yeah, it's way--

Oh, no, she's gonna have to take that back.

Excuse me, come and help me a second.

-Yes, sure. -Just take that back for me.

Yeah, sure.

I just want the poached eggs.

-Not the sauce? -Yes.

Yeah, not a problem.

-Thank you, darling. -That's no problem.

Ugh, I knew she ----ed that up.

Barrie just wants poached egg and bacon with no sauce.

Just put it there.

Like, seriously, are you serious?

I've never had poached eggs without Hollandaise.

It's a really normal thing.

If I wanted sauce, I'd just say.

Mm, not really.

-Is this one for Barrie? -Poach egg.

Thank you.

If I can do it, I'm no professional chef

who's "worked at all the best restaurants in the world,"

apparently.

-How lovely, thank you. -You're so welcome.

That is actually what I ordered.

Mm.

I said poached eggs.

No one ever ----ing listens to me, ever.

Yeah.

I'm the one who knows what's going on.

Yeah, yeah.

Ugh, I'm just--I'm just venting, I'm just tired now.

Set everything up, just so we're ready.

-That's okay. -It's okay.

JL's doing some work, must be because of the bunk switch.

How many more smaller tables are there?

That's it.

It looks like a little sleep makes all the difference.

We got umbrellas, chairs.

-Is that nine? -Five and four, mm-hmm.

They're sitting there with, like, dirty plates.

What's going on?

Just to let you know, there was a bit of

a up with breakfast.

What happened?

You want me to see if I could help you clear

some of the plates?

Yeah, that would be amazing, thank you.

So, they wanted poached eggs,

but to Natasha, poached eggs means eggs Benedict.

So, I brought it out, but obviously he didn't want that.

-He wanted poached eggs. -Gotcha.

I'm just letting captain know about the up

with the eggs Benedict.

What was the problem? There was no problem with me.

I'm just letting everyone know, in case--

Yeah, there's no problem.

In case he mentions.

Yeah, no, that's no problem at all.

Daisy is such a bitch.

Running to Glenn about Hollandaise sauce?

Are you ----ing serious?

If you're this bored...

You just wanna kiss Glenn's ass. I see who you are.

Coming up...

I know there's something wrong with the boat.

This charter cannot operate without a tender.

This is a big up.

They're stuck on the beach like this.

What's Captain Glenn's mobile? I'm gonna text him.

Here come the dishes.

For nine people.

-Morning. -Good morning!

-Did everyone sleep well? -Amazing, thank you.

Fantastic.

We were just discussing plans for today,

and we thought, like, go swimming and then have lunch.

Yeah.

We're gonna get some sailing in.

Brilliant.

Does that sound like a plan, then?

Yeah.

All these guys are on the beach,

so we need to be careful of them, eh?

there's a whole family, yeah?

Hey, guys, are you gonna be here for a while?

Oh, okay, okay, then no worries.

Regarding lunch, I think it's better on the boat,

but if you want it on the beach, that is completely fine as well.

After that crap she sent me this morning,

I wanna make her job harder and send it to the ----ing beach.

I told you we should have brought our own chef with us.

Make her do the ----ing seashell on the beach.

I think lunch is nicer on the boat,

only because it's fresher and you have a full range of drinks.

We haven't even been able to pull off

a smooth service on the boat,

let alone trying to do one off the boat.

You want, like, a sushi platter?

-Yes. -Okay.

Sashimi and nigiri, with just like, a bowl of rice.

-Yeah. -And some--

Chicken, because I'm not eating sushi.

We don't want any sauces other than the teriyaki.

Okay, whatever.

Okay, and 1:30 lunch.

Thank you so much.

Perfect, you're welcome.

If she [bleep]s this one up,

then I'm actually gonna go down

and ----ing cook the next meal meself.

Gary, Gary, Daisy, the guests will be going to the beach,

but they will be having lunch on board.

Yeah, copy.

A little bit of an update,

we're not gonna have lunch on the beach.

Just make it look as inviting as possible.

Okay, I'll see you in a bit.

Yeah.

Who's coming for a swim, then?

The ladder's in, you guys are ready to go swimming.

-How deep is it? -About 40 meters.

That's more than enough room for whales.

-You're worried about whales? -Yeah.

Just forget about Moby Dick, that was just all fiction.

Shark!

For lunch, it's at 1:30, on the boat.

They want salmon nigiri and sashimi.

They also want teriyaki chicken, but no sauces,

because I think they're traumatized

over the Hollandaise.

Yeah, but, like--

I don't know why--

Can you write that down, please?

Yeah, of course.

And if you need help, let me know.

Are you gonna swim to the beach?

Well, I'll follow you in the tender,

so if you do wanna come jump on the boat--

It's a race, and it's for a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes.

On your marks, get set, go!

Come on!

Saffron, Louis Vuitton shoes!

Woo-hoo!

It's that way!

Ah, you bitches, what are you like?

See, I can tell youse two are not my kids.

My kids would do anything for a pair of Louis Vuitton shoes.

I don't know what to think. I'm speechless, to be honest.

We don't like losers in this family, come on!

And I'm not often speechless,

but that's a bit ----ing overboard.

Push yourselves!

If the three of you get to the shore,

I'll buy the three of you a pair.

Aspen, you did it!

Woo-hoo!

You need me to hold anything?

-You can hold me. -Okay.

The old, fat one can't move as good

as the skinny ones--thank you.

-Of course. -This is so nice.

Oh, yay, they're off the boat.

They are so much funny.

-Free! -So much fun.

Ta-da!

You've got a big lunch ahead of you, eh?

----ing hell.

Here, fishy, fishy, fishy.

What time are we doing dinner?

We were aiming for 8:00.

I've asked for colorful wigs,

and I think the boys can wear our clothes,

the girls will just wear wigs and heavy makeup.

Yeah.

Okay, you can go on your break.

Okay.

You guys want some waters?

Do you know what, could you just ask the chef

if she could just make some very plain sandwiches,

just so that we can have a snack,

and then tell her to push the actual lunch to about 2:30.

And would you like some drinks or anything like that?

Yeah, some vodka, some coke.

Okay, well, we'll get everything for cocktails, et cetera.

Brilliant, thank you so much, guys.

Captain Glenn, Glenn, Gary.

Go ahead, Gary.

These guys are asking Cheffie if she can

make some light sandwiches, and then move lunch to 2:30,

and then they'd also all like cocktails on the beach.

So, I'll come pick up the girls now for that.

What the [bleep]?

----ing assholes.

I knew they were gonna do something like this.

They're just trying to be difficult now.

Just let them know I'll be, like, 10 minutes,

because I'll wait for the sandwiches, et cetera.

Okay.

-Okay, go and-- -Neutral.

Okay, back it, reverse--

I'm hoping it's in reverse.

Clutch engaged?

Reverse.

Seems like it's working now.

Watch, it's gonna work the whole time.

See?

Just engaged--oh.

Oh, you know.

For some reason, the bucket on the jet

is not coming down to put it into reverse.

Because what happens is the water shoots

around the bucket and pushes the water forward...

And I can hear the clutch clicking in and out of gear.

Can you have a quick look at the tender?

There's something going on.

Dani, maybe if you just help me

get some drink coolers together.

Yeah, copy that.

It's engaging the clutch without doing anything.

Do you hear that, now I'm in clutch.

You see, I didn't touch anything.

So, who's your favorite crew member so far?

-Oh, oh, Daddy Long-Legs. -See him right there.

He's right there.

Yeah.

look at all that oil in there, bro.

Holy sh--.

Holy sh--, yeah.

There we go, that's the problem.

The tender's burst a hydraulic line,

so oil is everywhere inside the tender.

indeed.

Let's dump all the oil.

I thought that might be the problem.

There's no transmission fluid in there or something like that.

Oh, oh, oh.

I tell you what, though,

these sandwiches are taking a long time.

I actually feel like I'm wasting away.

Um...

I'm actually getting worried about complaining

any more to the chef, because you know what they say--

you complain about the chef's cooking,

she's gonna spit in it when you're not looking.

And you think one of those hoses snapped?

I don't know how else it hits up here.

Oh, yeah, look at that.

I know there's a lot of me to waste away,

but for [bleep]'s sake, this is getting bad now.

We're in serious trouble.

This charter cannot operate without a tender.

It's a big up

that they're stuck on the beach like this.

Tie the boat up and run an extension lead for me.

We need to figure out a solution ASAP.

Oh, come on, Gary, oh, my God.

It's got a hole in it right there, you see that?

Oh, yeah.

The sandwiches are ready.

-Colin? -Yeah?

Can we go now in the tender--

No, there's a problem with the tender.

-Just hang on for a minute. -Okay.

Yeah, get everything ready.

What else could go wrong?

I'm gonna work on that other tender,

because this is obviously not gonna get going.

He said we had to cut the last charter early,

we lost the last guests.

Yeah, we left the last ones in an alcove...

-Yeah. -...somewhere in Croatia.

Bruno?

Hi, Captain Glenn.

I have a little bit of an issue with my tender.

Can you have a look around, talk to your contacts,

and see if you've got a tender,

you know, maybe five, six meters,

that I could rent?

Thanks, Bruno. Jesus.

What's Captain Glenn's mobile? I'm gonna text him.

You and Captain Glenn are gonna get dragged up,

then, are you, tonight?

I don't know, I guess we'll see.

I think I--

I reckon you'll look amazing in fishnets.

If that's what you guys want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where the is Gary?

Jesus.

Natasha, let's do this.

We've got sandwiches ready, cooler ready, and

we can bring a flask, daiquiris are ready, everything's ready.

They're working to get a tender

here hopefully within, like, a half an hour.

Oh

Could we-- So, I'm gonna let--

If that's not possible, can we paddleboard over some drinks?

That's not a bad idea.

Why don't you start setting that up as an option?

Yeah.

-Gary, Glenn. -Yeah, Glenn, go ahead.

How do you feel about ferrying some frozen umbrella drinks

and sandwiches to the beach on a paddleboard?

Oh, wow, this should be interesting.

Yeah, I can do that.

Oh

-Are you on? -Yeah, I--

Can you go and check with these guys?

Yeah.

Let's make sure we get at least one paddleboard ready.

Yeah, I can do that.

So, I have a little update.

The tender is actually malfunctioning right now,

but the sandwiches are ready,

the drinks are ready, and I believe that

they're gonna actually bring them to you by paddleboard.

Okay.

So, they're gonna come paddleboard them in

for you guys.

I thought she'd gone to slaughter a cow

or summat and get the beef herself.

These are sandwiches, you've got napkins,

you've got a bottle opener--

You put the sandwiches on the back one, yeah.

Gary, Gary, Jean-Luc.

Yeah, mate, go ahead.

Are those sandwiches and drinks on the way?

Thanks, Sydney, we love you, Sydney.

All right.

See you on the other side.

I feel like someone's gonna jump out of the bushes

in a minute and go ha, ha, ha, joke.

Yes, that's a roger,

we've got Sydney coming on the paddleboard.

You should see her coming by.

All right, copy that.

Of course they're getting irritated, aren't they?

Yeah, of course they are.

Sydney is actually paddling her way here now

with your drinks and sandwiches as we speak.

-Ah. -Oh!

-Have we met that one yet? -I believe so, yeah.

She's the shorter one, really pretty.

Oh, really pretty.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you say "really pretty," is it a personal assessment?

Who would you say was the prettiest?

For me, I'd have to say Dani.

Point her out to me when she comes,

so I can see which one she looks like.

Let's give her a round of applause when she gets here.

-Come on, Sydney! -Come on, Sydney!

-Woohoo! -Woohoo!

Come on, Sydney!

Woohoo!

I can hear them all cheering, so at least they're happy.

For two seconds.

Yeah.

All right, guys, everyone wants a sandwich?

Yeah.

Thank you so much.

I think I need to teach her how to make a ----ing sandwich.

Oh, my gosh, holy moly.

-Oh, please.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Gary, I think this might be our tender coming now.

Thank God we got the backup tender.

The last thing I wanted to do was paddle ----ing

nine guests back to the boat.

Mm, frantic--yes, it would be like that.

Hey, Glenn,

that hose down there looks like it's ----ed.

I can either pull these bad ones off

and we just send them in and try and get new ones.

Yeah, all the ones that you wanna change, pull them off.

Gary, Gary, Sydney, the guests are ready to head out.

Yeah, the tender's ready to go now.

Copy that.

All right, they're sending the tender over now

to collect you all.

-Yay! -Oh, good.

Have they got it working?

We had a backup one come in.

Because people are gonna be swimming and stuff back here,

I might pull you alongside.

Are you okay if we do it over--from the ladder?

No, no, I'm fine, it.

Yeah, so it's not a ----ing eyesore.

Boys, we're gonna be going soon,

if Dave actually gets his boat going.

Is it Dave?

No, Gary, even.

The problem is that ----ing tender

is ----ing scratching the new ----ing paint job.

Angry Glenn is ----ing crazy.

What a ----ing nightmare.

----ing bullsh--.

I got a brand-new paint job with this piece of fiberglass

rubbing along it, and I'm, like, oh me.

What else can go wrong?

Hopefully it didn't put a big ----ing scratch in it.

So ----ing over it, though.

I can do it.

Gary, don't this boat.

Start setting up for lunch.

If you wanna do the bowline, I'll grab the stern line.

Yep.

He's pushing, he's pushing!

Careful, careful, careful.

I really wanna give them, like, really good sushi,

because they're so needy.

It's not just sushi, it's ----ing important sushi.

They're eating at 2:30, yeah?

Yeah.

I'm trying to just impress them with one ----ing thing.

We have no more platters at all?

That's all we have.

-Hey, hey. -Welcome back.

He was railing on you, bru.

yeah, he was.

Oh, my Lord.

----ed this one up.

It just gets easier and easier, doesn't it?

Oh, pretty.

-Love it. -Nice.

Can I get anyone anything?

Ooh, yes, please.

I've got piña coladas ready, if anyone would like a piña colada.

-Yeah. -Okay, perfect.

-Oh, that's a nice table. -I love the petals.

Come on, sit down and have a drink.

Get that slim butt in there.

Oh, well, I think I've got high expectations of this meal.

They just ate sandwiches,

and now the guests are already sitting down to lunch.

Are you ----ing kidding me?

-What time is it? -1:59.

-What time are we having lunch? -2:30.

Do you think we can ask them if we can get it earlier, then?

Yeah.

If they were gonna do it at 12:00, I don't see why--

Well, I'm sorry, the chef said she's worked

in so many five-star restaurants all over the world.

If she can't rustle up something for nine people

on the dinner table--

sake.

I'm gonna let Natasha know,

I'm gonna go get water.

And lunch--they told you lunch at 2:30.

JL said lunch at 2:30 for the beach.

Okay.

What, are they-- has that changed?

They've--they're sat down at the table.

I'm gonna ----ing throw myself overboard.

----ing shoot me now.

For [bleep]'s sake.

Just double-checking, we got communicated 2:30 for lunch.

Would you like it now? We can start bringing it.

Um, yes.

-Yeah? Okay. -That would be wonderful.

She's not quite ready, so it will be--

she'll continually bringing it out.

Okay.

But yeah, we can do it now.

There she is.

What happened?

The ----ing hoses broke.

Oh, my God, drama.

Yeah, I know, trouble in the jungle.

Sh--, I was just sitting around here,

all safe and sound.

Yeah, I know, you've just been chilling.

Well, it's good to see you smiling again.

You looked a little bit upset earlier on.

Yeah, well, I'm still upset about my Pa.

Yeah, no, I can imagine.

Maybe I should just not look at my phone till...

For a while, I know.

...bedtime each day.

Yeah, and then you cry yourself to sleep every night, no.

I know, I got a little teary last night.

You need one of those when you go to bed.

-I'm gonna go have some lunch. -Next time.

Next time.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, what is your name?

-Dani. -Oh.

Dani, yeah.

That's actually really interesting.

-I'm so glad you're here. -Oh, God.

What I wanna know is, out of all of the gorgeous people

on the boat, if you had to repopulate the Earth

in an apocalypse, who would you be more attracted to?

Oh, my God.

It's either guests who don't wanna have nothing

to do with the crew, just you serve them,

or guests that are like Barrie and be,

like, so, what's going on.

I'm only saying this because your name

actually came up from one of the other guys.

You can play along.

Just always have the stew face.

So, who would you pick? Who would your pick be?

JL.

Oh!

I'm gonna go get some more water.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

You know what this is, don't you?

-What is it? -The Love Boat!

♪Embarrassed

Oh, we're putting the hot dog in, huh?

Yeah, just in case.

-Hot-diggity-dog. -Hot dog!

Can you bring a pineapple head for me?

Look for the nice ones.

Okay, they're all sat down.

What?

So, and they know, I told them--

-No, we can go. -2:30.

Yeah, but I'm just saying, you don't have to, like--

Hey, guys, wanna do some water toys?

We've got a sausage, we can have that out for you.

Nah.

If I got on it and I fall off, I'm going to end up sinking.

-Brent? -I might just drink.

You're not going in the water?

Uh-uh.

Of course, yeah.

Yeah, well, enjoy your lunch, guys.

I'm ready for bed.

Oh, my God.

Is this everything and just the sushi rice?

-Yeah. -Okay.

Gracias.

Ooh, I like that.

Deck crew, deck crew, can I get a hand in the laz, please?

On my way.

Okay, that was delicious.

-That's amazing. -That is good.

You wanna ask them?

-Hey, guys. -Hey.

-Come and take a seat. -The sushi's delicious.

I'm happy you're enjoying it.

Well, I didn't say we were enjoying it, but I did say--

Oh, my gosh!

But it is quite nice.

Oh, my Lord.

I hear you want to talk about dinner.

Yes, what are we having?

-Caprese salad burrata. -Okay.

And main course is lobster.

Oh, nice.

I'll have chicken tenders, with some fries.

That'll do me.

Are you ----ing serious?

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Sydney, you can go down for a couple of hours.

Thanks, Gary.

Come on, let's go.

We're gonna have to get a couple hoses

made for that tender, but I don't think

it's gonna happen for a day or two.

Right. So we're gonna keep--

So, we've got that other tender.

Until we can get the hoses sorted,

I think we'll just have to tow two tenders.

There's too many things going wrong at once.

We have to turn it around.

I wanna see my department heads take it up a notch.

If they can't work together, I've got problems.

-Oh, chin-chin. -Chin-chin.

Thanks.

You're welcome, thank you.

I had summat I wanted to tell you both.

I was planning tomorrow to just get Scott on his own

and ask him to marry me.

-No! -Mm!

Ooh!

I think just because I was gonna do it tonight,

but I thought if we're gonna do, like, a drag thing,

I didn't want me other persona

coming out when I'm asking somebody to marry me.

So, I thought I'd wait and--

-That's so nice. -It's really nice.

Do you not think it's a little bit weird,

me asking somebody else to marry me on your birthday?

No, it's actually poetic, in a way.

Hopefully he'll say yes.

Are you guys ready if we start sailing shortly?

I am, yes.

You--oh, you're ready in your seat.

Hoist the sails.

We going sailing!

We're gonna go sailing, so I'm gonna give you plastic glasses.

Absolutely.

Maybe just pass the chas.

I don't wanna risk losing it.

Let's go, yeah. Just there.

Four shots at the water line, four shots.

I'm just gonna go check my emails for 10 minutes.

Clean and clear, bringing it home.

All crew, all crew, we're gonna start getting sails up,

we're gonna start getting sails up.

Do you want me to check where the guests are?

Barrie's already told us he wants to sail now.

Let's get underway.

Once we get going, I'm sure they'll come up.

We're going on main.

Good. Sheet in, a bit more.

How many wraps?

Three, two, hold.

That's main engine off.

Let's bear away.

Let's go sailing.

Yeah, the wind's come around a lot.

I think all the guests are just in their cabins.

Are they?

Do you want see yourselves on the video?

Louis Vuitton shoes!

Come on!

-No, you did not. -Look at that!

You're a quarter of the way, you idiot.

This may sound strange, but I feel like the boat's moving.

Coming up...

Hey, guys, do you wanna get ready?

Because the sooner you do it, the sooner you can finish.

We gotta pack away this catamaran.

Can't the night person do the catamaran?

Bullsh--.

Did I just blow your excuse?

-Just move it over. -I can go like this?

Oh, yeah, do that, yeah.

It's pretty sweet, man, sailing into the sunset.

-Stop it, now! -There's me!

No, no, I've got to come in, I can't do it.

Okay, I'm gonna start putting sails away.

I'll be on standby.

We're gonna drop that main and mizzen at the same time.

Roger.

What would you like for the starters, the small ones?

A small one.

And for the main?

You could bring up anything.

-Yeah? -Okay.

-One meter to stop? -One meter to stop, yeah.

So I've still got three meters to the bottom of the track?

-Yeah. -Okay.

Yeah, that's good.

So romantic.

It's nice, huh?

So, when the guests told you to pick somebody, who did you pick?

Hm?

When the guests told you to pick somebody, who did you pick?

You. Of course I did. I wasn't gonna lie about that.

You want these as placemats?

-Yeah. -Okay.

I reckon, because, like, glittery.

Oh, yeah, but just as a joke.

But then, I mean...

Meh.

-Maybe? -Meh.

Maybe.

Maybe you could just make out.

I'm only 5'3".

The tallest guy I dated was six feet.

JL has nine inches on that.

I literally don't know how this is gonna work, you know?

Well, it doesn't matter once you're laying down.

-Gary. -Daisy.

So, tonight, we're gonna do, like, a drag show.

I would love it if you boys dressed up.

No, come on.

Just--you don't have to, like, go full.

It's just, like, put something on, put a bit of makeup on.

Mm-mmm. Mm, mm, mm-mmm.

We're still gonna have to set up the NautiBuoys,

take all of that sh-- out.

So you can aim for dessert.

We'll see.

Okay, Colin, we're gonna go to four for starters.

Wish I had a hair band.

You know you're one of the ugliest women I've ever seen.

I've got a constant long stay on the bow here.

Okay, mate, I'm outta gear, I'm gonna shut down.

you can definitely leave that on tonight

when we come back to the room.

We gotta figure a better way to get 'em hoiked together.

Every time we pick it up, it seems to bind.

-Yeah. -It's, like, too tight this way,

and it just needs to be a little bit longer.

Well, let's just think about this.

Because if I make straps like I did for the bridle

and it's that length from this eye

with an eye cow-hitched around to there,

with a clip, and back onto that.

Yeah, I can't really visualize that exactly,

but it sounds like a good idea.

I got everything except for the part after,

"Okay, listen closely."

I'll do the winch.

Yeah, so--

You guys do all that fun stuff.

You can start turn-downs.

-Yeah. -Okay, cool, thank you.

Okay, I'm gonna push up, and then you can release.

-Okay. -Yeah, go for it.

I love your little get-up!

So, introduce yourself to me.

-Anita Fix. -Benny Swallows.

Britney's bitch.

The way they're speaking, is that like me

speaking like this--hello.

Yeah.

Is it weird that even when Scott is dressed

like a girl I still think he's really, really hot?

Scott is hot.

Smile, everybody!

Say, "Parsifal."

Parsifal!

Say what?

Parsifal, what the is that?

-It's the boat's name. -Oh!

Are we sitting down?

-Yes. -Yeah.

So, for the starter I'm doing a Caprese salad,

and I'm doing it with burrata.

It's the most orgasmic cheese you can think about.

Do you want me to wipe the plates or--

Yes, I do.

-Careful of your back, dude. -Ah!

I like to bend the back and keep the legs straight.

I'm pretty sure that's how you're meant to do it, isn't it?

Okay, Alli, ready to go?

-Take the two little boys. -Okay.

-It's all off? -All the way off.

-Thank you. -There you go.

Sorry, what--what is this again?

Burrata.

It smells horrible.

-You've never had it? -No.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, guys, do you wanna get ready?

Because the sooner you do it,

the sooner you can finish

and then someone can help me clean up.

Yay!

We gotta go pack away this catamaran.

Can't the night person do the catamaran?

Mm, I guess so, yeah.

Did I just blow your excuse?

Seriously, are you ----ing kidding me?

Dude, you've got everyone else fooled,

but I personally see through it.

I hate it.

Are we doing, like, a catwalk out, then walk back?

Yeah, just do a little dance, let them be, like, "Oh, my God."

Do you have stockings for me?

I'm just thinking stockings and Speedo.

I haven't worn stockings since, like, 1990 or something.

-Okay, yeah. -Come on, boys.

Daisy, could we have some fries with this as well?

Yeah, sure.

Be perfect with fries.

Jasper, would you mind if I had a tender, please?

Because I can't eat this.

They're asking for some fries.

What the

They are trying to with me.

What did you think of the cheese?

It's the weirdest taste I've ever had.

I'm not a cheesy person.

I'm trying to please Barrie,

after all of this, ----ing French fries.

I was kind of expecting her to come out with each dish

and tell me about it.

-Yeah. -You know what I mean?

Natasha, we're about to clear.

Oh sh--.

Yeah.

I was kind of expecting her to come out with each dish.

I'm going to go down there, take my wig off,

and kick her ass if this lobster isn't good.

No fries?

Are you making--oh, God.

She's embarrassed, I bet. That's why she didn't come out.

Are you ready to go now?

Mm-hmm.

Holy sh--.

Here we go.

-Thank you. -There you go.

We've got fries with this as well, haven't we?

-Yes. -Sh--.

-Dani, Dani, Daisy. -Go ahead.

Would you mind when you have a second

coming up here to help the boys get ready?

Did you want baked potato?

-Yeah. -Yes?

I'm still waiting on the fries.

They're on the way, yeah.

-I know, I just bit into one. -Yeah, same.

Where the did I put my glasses?

I remember I took them off now, when we're doing this.

Where have they gone?

Would they stop running away?

Get a ----ing leash on them.

I'm sorry, they're ----ed off.

Keep going down, I'll call you again.

-I'm sorry, they were there-- -Okay. That's all right.

And they ran away.

Put a smile on their faces, boys.

I want more lobster.

I'm used to having three pounds of king crab,

and I eat it all myself.

-So, I need-- -Sure.

You know what I mean?

Watch their eyes light up when you walk out.

Oh, my God.

-Oh, wow. -Thank you.

You're welcome.

Fries, that's what I need.

The alcohol's kicking in.

How the do you wear this sh--?

I don't even know if this is gonna fit you.

Put that over your head, and then get your arms in these.

People tell me I've got a nice ass,

so I might as well strut it.

Oh, my God.

Okay, last course, let's do this.

Oh, my God.

Yes, JL, shut up and just do it.

You've got me so ----ing stressed out.

Half an hour I was, like, okay, can you get ready?

I feel sexy as

-Here, here, here. -Gorgeous!

-Daisy? -Yeah.

Sorry, can we have some more beer as well?

Absolutely.

I think we should go find Daddy Long-Legs,

get him to get himself made up.

-Boys, is it for dessert? - ----ing white trash.

Okay, I'm not going first--JL?

-I'm going first. -I'm not going first.

Okay it--well, wait, wait, wait, cheffie.

Oh sh--!

Woohoo!

All three of youse gotta dance!

Woo!

Yeah!

Fabulous!

-JL! -Sh--!

Hey!

Woo!

Thank you!

Gary actually showed his ass.

Brilliant, I didn't expect that.

No, I really wasn't expecting that.

I really didn't expect that, that was really good.

They did a good job of surprising me.

Okay, thanks, Daisy.

Jean-Luc--the size of him.

I'm glad Gary's finally showing effort,

but I am a bit sick of repeating myself.

We should be striving to give the best experience,

no matter what the situation is.

Oh, my God.

You guys were awesome.

That was actually brilliant.

If everyone just did their part,

I wouldn't have to come across as such a bitch,

and I wouldn't have to be such a mom.

It's getting pretty old, pretty fast.

I'm glad you guys got a kick out of it.

I know, at least they get the last laugh.

Yeah.

Next, on "Below Deck Sailing Yacht"...

Tonight will be a night to remember.

Don't you think it would be the craziest feeling to wake up

and know that you're gonna propose to someone?

I would be, like, in pieces.

Are we doing the chocolate fondant?

No, it would just be, like, too much.

That's the whole point, I wanted, like, a big--

You have to melt all the chocolate first.

I am so incredibly angry.

I don't know.

If you can see glasses need to be put away,

jump in there instead of me being chief bitch, as per usual.

-We're all busy outside, like-- -No, that's--

-When do we stop?

When do we have a break?

Cheers.

-Oh, my God! -Ah!

Who's gonna be the one that calls it to go to bed?

-Get the out! -Sorry!

It's a battle between the three of us!

Take your ----ing pants off!

Woo!