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Yeah, last weekend.

Mara!

Hey.

- Hi! - What's up?

What are you... What are you doing here?

I-I came to see you.

This is not a coincidence.

Like, I didn't just see you, and then...

I didn't just follow you here.

I was waiting... I was waiting over there with your...

with your students, is that what this is?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is... This is my class.

Uh, how long... how long are you in town?

A few weeks. Like, I'm-I'm gonna be around.

Okay.

I'll, uh, I'll email you, all right?

Yeah, okay.

Great.

Uh, everyone can, uh, come into the class now.

Have a good class.

Sorry.

Okay, so we're continuing our unit on poetic grammar.

So... prose is governed differently than poetry...

by the rules of grammar.

Pardon me.

Um...

But I find, uh, whether or not you...

uh, intend to be a professional poet, um...

the reading of poetry can sensiti...

sensitize you, uh, to the reading of prose.

And just as how,

when you look at paintings in a museum,

and you re-enter onto the street,

and you have a more heightened awareness

of, maybe, the ways

that the buildings intersect...

um...

when you're reading prose,

suddenly you'll be aware of the choices in the grammar,

uh, that the writer's making.

So you don't know how long you're in town for?

I mean, I told myself I would, like,

- finish the draft before I left. - Mm-hmm.

I still have my apartment in New York.

How often are you writing?

- Every day. When I'm not... - Yeah?

Yeah... Wasting time, walking around with people.

I have a whole cycle of past friends,

old girlfriends,

who I'll just see.

I literally don't know

what it would feel like

to have that kind of arrogance

to think that I know anything about what a...

another person's thinking.

Why is it arrogance,

and not just, like, creative... imagination?

So you admit you're imagining it...

you don't actually know?

- That's different. If you... - I'm letting my imagination

reach my stupidity,

so it becomes reality.

What?

I'm letting my imagination

reach right to the level of my own stupidity,

which makes it my reality.

Okay, well...

I don't think you actually care about...

Ah, no.

It's... I'm trying to figure out who's making who self-conscious.

Are you gonna even ask about what I'm writing,

or is that totally irrelevant to the...

I'm just trying to be... I was being polite.

That's why I didn't ask.

Well, don't ask out of politeness...

- I'm saying... - Ask if you're interested.

I was not asking out of politeness,

because it's quite rude

when somebody hasn't published something for a while,

to be, like, "So what are you writing?"

Haven't you read Wonder Boys?

I don't actually feel embarrassed

that I haven't been publishing

- in a while. - I'm not trying to push, but...

- Do you not want to know? - Badly!

You keep backing off really easily.

Because you are made of glass!

- I'm not made o... - Please.

Are you going to be

extremely gentle and careful?

I'm gonna hold it like a Fabergé egg.

Okay.

- With white gloves. - Okay.

And I'm a servant, so I know...

in Singapore,

where I know that if even, like,

the shadow touches it, they'll behead me.

Okay.

So...

I think

the thing that I'm really interested in

is...

like, a...

a person who...

truly believes, um,

that they know nothing about themselves.

Um, and that

all of their desires

are complete secrets from them,

and that these desires could be revealed

at any moment

and ruin her life.

She feels as though her identity

could be radically transformed beyond her control

without her having any say in it?

Yes, exactly.

Like, I'm understanding what you're saying.

Exactly.

This sounds great,

and it also sounds very contemporary.

Like, people are gonna be, like, "Oh, wow."

But the problem is that it's, like...

it's just an idea,

like, I don't know how to...

like, I don't know how to write that.

You'd have to get the audience to understand what's happening.

No, not how to get the audience to understand it...

like, literally... is the...

Is the music... is the music getting louder?

Quite a bit. Quite a bit. It's getting loud, yes.

Excuse me?

Closed?

Oh, you're closed.

Yeah, we're closed.

- Okay. - Sorry.

Thanks for coming.

Okay, you could've just told us.

Well, I mean, it's the end of the day.

I like to put on some music. You know, it's...

Most people get it.

Uh-huh.

Okay. Uh...

We're going. We're going. We're going.

No, I mean, did you guys want anything else?

I can get you another drink?

I mean, I don't really know anyone who drinks coffee after five.

The machine is... I mean, I did kinda close it.

Look, we weren't meaning to cause personal offense.

We were just having a conversation...

- Oh no, no, no! - And then you started...

It's fine, it's totally fine... if you guys wanna hang out.

I mean, you guys were having a conversation,

- I get it. - Okay.

It sounded deep and important.

Whoa...

We're so... We're so sorry.

No, it's fine. I mean, just... I mean, most people...

If it was me, I'm thinking, "Oh, I don't wanna bug this guy,

he's probably working a double..."

All you had to say was, "We're closing."

That's all you had to say.

I did. When I posted the sign.

And now this is... you're being so aggressive.

You didn't even say, "We're closing."

It's so unnecessary. Yeah, you never said it.

You just came...

I think I said it when I flipped the sign.

- Now they're open again. - Oh, is that how I did it?

Yeah.

This is you drinking coffee. This is you drinking coffee.

"Oh, did you read my books? I'm so smart!"

Let's go. Let's go.

Try working for a living!

Yeah... okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bye... Karen.

Hey.

What are you guys doing?

Uh, playing guitar.

Avery?

Is she playing?

She's, uh... trying to.

No?

Where'd it go?

Ding!

Usually, when people say "family band,"

they don't mean "one guitar, three people."

Fow!

"Four"?

- Fa... - "Five."

- Six. - "Six."

- Seven. - "Seven."

This is saying it's a full hour longer

to cross through the border at Kingston

than Niagara Falls.

Samir?

This says it's a full hour longer

if we were to cross through Kingston

rather than Niagara Falls,

to get to Ithaca.

Can you hear me?

Just little bit... like, over the ear.

Little bit up with your chin. Yeah.

Leave it.

Little bit... Little bit... yeah.

"Reality, realness, fact,

"proven in repetition,

"with care, and with kindness, passion,

"and pure jubilation.

"Love for what is real,

"from your head to your heart,

"with butterflies and with ease.

"Step lightly, step forward,

"in step and in time.

"'Cause when love fills the streets

"with its bounty and its passion,

"it colours our world."

There's an amazing, like, drive behind that poem.

- Yeah. - Like, an amazing force.

Um, when you say something like "going deeper,"

maybe what that can mean is...

just look at, like, really concrete examples.

Even just, like, in your... if you're thinking about your poem,

and thinking about, like, the movements of your day,

um, and how...

uh, this idea of love being

everything that you're talking about

is... is present in those... in those movements.

- It's hot, eh? - It's really hot.

Anyway, so...

they found out about each other being cheated on

mid-air...

- in the plane. - Mm!

Isn't that crazy?

Imagine just getting off a plane

and your entire life is completely changed.

- They're both... - Who are these people that you know?

I don't know them. They're friends of friends.

There's just this Paul Mooney joke...

I don't know why it came to my head. I'll let it go.

No, no, what is it?

He said that, um...

he said that, uh, like, White people

would rather kill each other

than break up with their partners.

Like, it just makes me think of that.

It's, like, after seven years, you don't think that you should just maybe say

that you don't wanna get married to this person?

- Like, come on. - Hmm.

Have you ever, like,

known two people

that were such good friends

that they're basically known for being friends?

Like, they're... they're always together.

- It's basically... - Uh, like high-school stuff?

Yeah. It's basically

their most remarkable quality

is that they're friends with each other.

Mm-hmm.

- And then... - That's kind of an insult.

No, because, like,

a friendship like that is remarkable.

True.

- You know? - Yeah.

- So... - Yeah, what is it?

So, then...

one day, they're just not friends anymore.

Don't you feel like...

then it's kind of like each of those people...

Mm-hmm?

Is sort of a fraud?

- Like, there's something... - That they drifted apart?

No.

Sure. But, I mean...

more what I mean is, like, how can...

how can it have been the case

that they were these friends and, like, not...

not even necessarily for these reasons that you say,

of, like, something super-honest,

or something super-shared between them,

but they just are really good friends,

and then, just as mysteriously,

they're not really as good friends anymore?

Is that what...

are you thinking about that 'cause of the story I just told you?

Like, why did that pop into your mind after I told you the story?

Okay, sweetie.

I'll be back really soon, okay?

No, it's okay. Shh. Thanks.

All right, I'd better slip out before this gets much worse.

All right.

See you soon.

So, I was invited to the literary conference

in Ithaca...

to, like, host one of the panels.

Like, I guess they asked me to do it because I...

I don't know, I think it's about...

like, theatrical adaptation, or something like that.

- Uh-huh. - And...

Anyways, they asked me to ho...

Host it.

And I'm kind of, like...

I don't understand how this... like,

these, sort of social writer...

- Yeah. - Events work.

I don't know. To me...

I would rather, like...

I would rather eat this fork than go to one...

I think, at this point, but it's because I've, like...

Why? Because you've gone to so many?

I've gone to a bunch already, so it's, like, kind of, like,

I don't feel, like, curiosity or excitement

about the experience.

It's always, like, a bit...

Sad, and a bit, maybe, horny also.

Like... because I think everyone's, like,

so excited to be out of the house.

Do people really have affairs at those things?

100 percent!

I heard that people have affairs at, um, residencies.

Oh, my god! That's, like, 90% of what they're for...

I think, for other people.

Yeah.

Just because it's, like, you're away from home.

Mm-hmm.

You spend... like... like you're saying, like,

- I think writing is... - You can justify it

because you're having

such a deep, invested, artistic experience.

Yeah! You're spending late nights at the bar

talking about your... you know,

the areas of your expertise with people who give a shit

and who aren't, like, your family, or whatever.

And so, there's... there's a real, like...

"what happens in Vegas" kind of energy,

except that it's not... it's not...

"What happens at MacDowell..."

Yeah, exactly!

"Stays in the forest of New Hampshire."

Isn't that...?

It's less glamorous, because you're all, like...

you know, when you turn the lights on, everyone's a poet.

Like, it's not... It's not very sexy.

So I thought, "why don't I just pivot

"and try a personal narrative

"with all these themes combined,

"and see where it goes?"

So that's when I came up with this.

- Mm-hmm. - No, I think it really works.

And... And I think, um, not having to say everything

and allowing there to be gaps in time...

I really... I really like the ellipsis.

Uh, yep?

H-Hey.

- Hi. - Sorry, I didn't, uh...

Yeah, no, I'm just with a student.

Yeah. Shou... Should I come back?

I just...

Uh... yeah, no. Sure.

I'll wait outside.

- Okay. - Okay.

Sorry about that interruption.

Um, we could always reschedule if...

No, no, no. Um...

you...

you had a question for me, though?

Yes, I did.

So, you know, I wrote this as stream of consciousness,

and I noticed

that I don't write in compound and complex sentences...

Very brave!

You think it's dirty?

I wouldn't do that in New York.

Wh... Oh! You completely cleared it!

There was no contact.

Like... you didn't get wet at all.

That was amazing.

We're gonna practice your charm, all right?

Smile at everybody who passes us.

Okay.

In a way that you're trying to get them to smile back.

- Okay. - Ready? This lady here.

- Okay. - Even with the mask.

- No. - That was it.

She smiled back at me!

Is that all it takes?

Yep.

I'm gonna do it again.

Try this one here.

Look at that.

Nah, she looked away.

Like that.

Mm... that's too "surfer."

Okay, you're being funny. No.

- No? Okay. - If that...

That was... Yeah! That's pleasant.

- Yeah? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

The top teeth.

See, when we smile together, we give off a, um...

Jesuit priest...

or, like, like, door-to-door "Bible salesman" vibe.

We are... It has to be one person smiling.

Okay.

Let's try.

Hello. Hi.

How are you? Oh, you have the tape on you!

- Oh, no, watch out. - Oh, it got you.

Now do we go?

Oh, please. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah? All right, thank you! Have a good day. Bye.

See, that's how you get the smiles.

Obviously, yeah.

Up straight...

a little more forward.

- Sure. - Thank you.

- Okay. - Hold on one second.

Is this actually gonna go on your passport...

the photo you take right now? I'm asking you for real.

- Why would I be doing this? - Okay.

Well, then, come on, let's do it right.

We don't want you getting turned away at the border.

Okay.

- Great. - Okay.

Good.

May I ask you... where are you heading to?

Once you-you get your passport?

Um...

Mexico.

- Oh. Wonderful. - Yeah.

Have you been there before?

- Uh, no. - No?

- Mm. - Is this, uh, correct?

- No. - You like this?

Uh... Which one you like. This... or this?

Well, yeah, the one with the eyes...

- Oh, okay. - Do I get to pick?

Can we do his now?

- What? - Can we do his now?

Well, if he wants to go to Mexico...

As long as...

okay, now.

- Great! - Take those off.

- One, two... - Mara!

You know, I'm trying to take this seriously.

- I see. - Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Uh, okay, one, two...

- No. Please... - Can she... can you move her?

- Uh... - Can she go somewhere else?

Yes. Okay, one, two...

Great!

There it is!

No, no, no, the one before, the one before.

There. Look at that. That's a dust jacket!

- No, no. - No, no, no, no.

Don't be ridiculous, that's me looking...

- Mara. - No.

That is... that's... that's celebrity status.

No, it's to identify yourself.

- It needs to be square on. - Hold on.

Mm-hmm. I'll be right back, I'll be right back.

- Okay. - I'm good with any of them!

Um... maybe I'll do one more for myself.

Yeah, okay. Sure.

Does he work too much?

Um...

he takes himself a-a bit too seriously.

- Mm. - He's a writer.

- Oh, that's why... - Yeah.

He has a lot of imagine... Imagination.

Yeah.

- Okay, one, two... - three...

May I ask, uh, how long have you been married with him?

It's, uh, seven years now, yeah.

Seven years. Oh.

Yeah, your relationship seems young.

Mm. Yeah.

Okay.

What'd I miss?

You wife says that you don't like photos.

- Who says? - Your wife.

She said I don't like photos?

That you don't like photos. I don't... I don't know.

- I'll talk to her about that. - Yeah.

Honey...

why are you telling this nice man that I don't, uh, like photos?

He called me your wife and I just went along with it.

- You went with it. - Yeah.

- Don't get upset. - Do I seem upset?

How long did you say we're married for?

Seven years.

Oh, so since undergrad?

- Mm. - Uh-huh.

So it's, like, we graduated, got married.

Photos are ready.

Ah. Thank you.

Thanks a lot, man.

Yeah. Have a good trip.

Yeah, take care.

There was this guy

that was at a show we played in Leipzig,

the night before,

and would stand directly in front of me

and was just, like, blowing smoke in my face.

- Really? - And who do... Yeah.

- Do you remember? - I'm... I'm telling you...

I can't believe that you don't remember all this stuff

that is, like, burned into my mind.

Yeah, I don't...

This guy was such a piece of shit,

and was doing all these sort of weird, like, kinda performative,

like... like, macho stuff,

and it was, like, he was only doing it to Amanda and I.

- Hmm. - And then...

but then, after the show,

was, like, "You are amazing. I love your band."

I do remember this guy.

And then followed us to the next show in Halle,

- and then... - What?

For "Cellular Chaos,"

this band that played after us, that was, like,

a punk band with this, like, frontwoman...

he kept trying to do the same thing,

and then she just literally beat the shit out of him.

- What? - Like, during her set!

- Whoa. - You don't remember any of that?

- Wow. - Yeah, I don't know...

Samir was having a tough time on that tour.

Yeah. Yes, I was.

- Yeah. - I was really sick, yeah.

Have you guys... Have you guys seen anything good lately?

No.

I feel like I don't really see you guys at shows that often.

No, I haven't really seen anything in a while.

I don't really listen to music.

- Really? - No!

But it's not like you avoid it.

- It's not, like... - Like, I don't ever...

You're, like, in a shop and you're, like, "Turn it off," kind of thing?

Like, I feel like I don't have

an intellectual response to music.

- Hmm. - Mm-hmm.

But I think it's supposed to be an emotional one.

I mean, like, you get it from other stuff.

Mm-hmm.

Like, it's not for a lack of...

like, you know, you... you have a full life, right?

Yeah. I mean, I can hear music.

- Sure. - Like, when it's playing.

Yeah, yeah.

So, you know how, like, when you...

- when you watch a musical... - Mm-hmm.

And you're, like,

"That's crazy. That doesn't make any sense..."

- Mm-hmm. - When they break out into song?

That's how I feel about all music.

Like, they broke out deliberately?

What are we all doing here? Let's...

- Ouch! - Yeah, yeah.

No, I don't think it's, like,

a spiritual deficit or something.

- Right. - Sure, sure.

- Of course not. Of course not. - Or a spiritual deficiency.

- No. - There is a blockage.

So, there must... like, if something doesn't, like...

if you don't listen to, uh...

I don't know, like, just a hit track

that, like, works for you...

But why does it make me deficient

that I can't feel it for music?

Mm, because I think that sound is...

like, that music produces

is part of, like, your everyday life.

Like, you know?

I mean, so is language, so is images.

- Yeah, I'm not... - Music is pre-language.

You know, like, I think

that's kind of partially what it is...

it's, like, music is so...

yeah, before language...

So you guys think that language...

music is more elemental...

- Yes. - More fundamental?

- Yeah. - Yes.

That was the word I was thinking.

It was, like... it's elemental. It's like the sun on your face.

- Mm. - Yeah.

Like, do you not like the sun on your face?

I... yeah, I hate... I hate sun.

I hate sun.

I'm not saying they were being nasty,

but it was a little bit intense,

all of their inquiries being directed toward me

and me having to figure out how to explain myself.

Or when Andrew was, like,

"It's kinda weird that you're married to him

when you don't like music." You know?

Yeah, but that kinda makes sense.

You think I don't like music?

Uh...

Well, I'm sorry that I ruined your good time.

You don't have to apologize.

Or fake apologize.

- Is it good? - Mm-hmm.

Bye.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Why don't we begin, um...

by...

someone sharing, uh,

a line of the poem or a part of the poem

that affected them the most?

The poem... it does a good job at...

kind of embodying, in words, the true nature of love,

'cause it's not rational.

I really like the part that...

where you said something along the lines of,

like, um, "Does it make you shiver?"

And then you asked again, "Does it?"

Like, really questioning the reader,

and really, like...

I don't know. Just really pushing them

and, like, really making them think

about the questions you're asking.

It could be interesting for you, um, to try,

um, some different styles of line break

with the poem that you have,

and maybe see how that makes you, uh...

rediscover it or rethink, uh,

different parts of what you're saying.

Okay.

Um, and maybe it'll return, and this will be, um,

the version that makes the most sense for you.

But it would be... it might be an interesting exercise

to try that out.

No, that's definitely not too tight.

If you were to go a size up, it'd be way too big.

But I like the colour on you.

It's pretty.

It's not too bunched up down here?

Mm... maybe try tucking it in?

Yeah.

Yeah, I like that.

Hi, Mara.

- Hi, how are you? - I'm good. How are you doing?

- Good. Nice to see you. - Nice to see you too.

Why don't you help yourself?

Maybe I will.

- There's not much left, though. - Dig in.

That's Spikeball. That's Spikeball.

I know pickleball well... I love it.

Those are nice sunglasses.

This looks cool.

Who are you?

Congratulations, Sean.

- Thank you. Thanks for coming. - Yeah. No, my pleasure.

Hi.

- Hi. - How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

Um... I might have done something a little bit unwise,

where I brought Matt with me to the party.

Where is he?

I think he's talking

to Professor Burke in the hot tub.

Oh, my god. Oh, no!

I think she started the day in there.

Like, when I arrived,

she looked comfortable,

and also... completely dehydrated.

I don't know if she has any, like...

moisture left in her body.

Hi, Catherine.

Oh, your ears must have been burning.

Mara, hi.

We just... we were just talking about you.

How are you?

I'm fine. I see you brought a friend.

She dragged our whole story out of me within seconds.

I hope Matt was a...

was a steel trap.

I was ever the diplomat. I was ever the diplomat.

Mm.

She was asking what makes you laugh,

and I was, like, "Oh, lots, she's got the soul of a child.

"A lot makes her laugh."

Uh...

um, it's a really beautiful home.

Thank you. I hope you're enjoying the party.

It was about time we had all these wonderful people here

to celebrate the day today.

Um, and celebrate Sean's paper.

It sounds really interesting.

It's on-on Chaucer,

on religious iconography in Chaucer.

- It sounds riveting. - Um...

I'm here to celebrate the paper, too, yeah.

- Mm. Really... - Let's find him.

- Let's read it. - Really incredible.

- Let's... yeah, let's get it. - Yeah.

- Let's find it. - You might learn something.

- Good to see you. - Thank you.

Okay, who is that woman?

She's the head of the department!

Don't pretend you don't know who she is...

you made a beeline for her as soon as you got here.

Oh, you're crazy. Oh, my gosh!

I went... she's in a hot tub. I had no idea who she was.

What are you talking about?

You told her I have "the soul of a child"?

No, she said, what makes you laugh?

Oh, oh, oh, oh. No, you... I was... she was...

Why are you telling her I have "the soul of a child"?

- That's not... - You... You...

Like, she's not gonna understand...

- Excuse me. - Hi, sorry.

That makes me sound fucking insane.

That makes me sound insane.

Mar, she was grill...

You're going on... You're going on...

Don't, okay...

I don't have "M" s.

You don't have "M" s?

I don't have "M" s on my palms.

I'm the only person I know that doesn't have "M" s.

I... I don't actually...

I don't actually know what you're talking about.

Wow, your palms are hectic.

"Hectic"?

Look at this chaos.

- Oh, whoa. - Oh, no...

There's a lot going on in there!

Trouble. That's scary!

Are you both... Is this a woman thing?

- Yeah, it's a woman thing. - Well, you know what I mean.

- Look at this. - You girls get together

and you... it's like witchcraft.

Yeah, we start "divining."

Yeah. Yeah, that's it.

- Yeah, yeah. - You know what?

This little Italian lady told me a trick...

when you get a gold necklace,

you have your hand open, you dip it three times.

Let it swing. Let it stand.

If it swings back and forth, that means "boy."

Circular, that means "a girl,"

and you keep doing it until it actually stops,

but it has to be a gold necklace.

This happen to you?

Yeah. She was dead-on.

- It worked? - Two boys, and then it stopped.

Factory's closed. Everybody's laid off.

Does anyone have a gold chain?

You wanna do it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we use it?

Sure.

Ooh...

This is how we'll find out if it's true,

- 'cause I have a daughter. - Hold the palm very flat.

- Good. Nice. - One...

Two...

Three...

- It started spinning! - Yeah!

- Oh, it's a circle! - Wow...

And I have... no, I have a girl!

Ooh.

Okay, that's a little spooky.

Okay, now the second one.

One...

Two...

Three...

Okay, it's going straight back and forth.

"Boy."

Okay, there's a boy coming, Mar.

Okay.

- Ready? - Do it again.

One...

Two...

Three...

That's it.

- Dang. - Whoa!

There you have it.

Can we burn the necklaces?

Thank you.

- Who else wants to try it? - That's a great party trick.

Matt?

You have not met him,

and you're not even gonna admit that you've not met him.

- If you'd ever met... - I know he's short!

Had met him...

You are actually able to remember someone

differently than they are. Y-You like to...

You like to, kind of, in your memory,

take a man and-and... and distort him.

I'm not distorting this guy, because,

the only thing I remember about this guy

is that he was a short musician

with shoes so small,

I thought you were taking care of your nephew.

I couldn't believe it.

I thought... you know what I was worried about?

His balance!

Until I saw him.

And I thought, "Okay, it makes sense."

You've never seen him.

His, um, centre of gravity

is a foot and a half above... above the ground.

His centre of gravity!

I know

that you hate handsome men.

Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

And so...

Okay!

And so, this is a thing that you need to do.

You need to kind of, like,

weirdly distort other men in your mind...

My memory's true.

Because you find male beauty,

like, very disturbing.

I remember this about you.

It gets tangled up in gender.

Like, no, I remember,

every time you encounter, like, a really beautiful man,

you need to, like, say that he has a freakish jaw,

or you need to say

that he has, like, deeply-set eye sockets.

Like, you come up... or you're, like...

I just... I just say it's a waste.

Or, no! Remember that guy that I thought was really handsome,

that you just kept telling me he had a limp?

He did!

He didn't have a limp!

But you just had to say that he had a limp.

He had a limp.

You're remembering these handsome men

through rose-coloured glasses.

You've done the same with your husband.

You've stretched him out like Silly Putty.

Was he still growing?

Is that what's going on?

Like, was he so young

that he hadn't fully gone through puberty?

Now he's... he's... he's evened out at-at a 5'5"?

I remember him trying to touch my face,

and this is what it looked like...

this is his arm extended,

- and he was just trying to touch my face. - You've never met him!

Mara, he met me, and he said,

"Oh, you're growing a bit of a beard."

He reached up... the full extension of his arm.

And this is him...

and his fingers were brushing my chin, like this.

I'm serious.

This book, to me, is so emblematic

of, like, a particular time in Canadian literature

that gives me, like, a rash to think about.

Just, like, when everyone was, like...

losing their minds over the idea that, like...

like, a man could feel bad

about the times that he hurt someone's feelings.

- Like... - Yeah.

And then write about it...

that that was, like, the most insight

that you could get out of, like, any literature at all.

That it was like...

you know, everyone had to, like, trip over their dicks

to be, like, "This is the smartest person alive,

and the most empathetic."

Okay. I mean...

like, as I say, we weren't all duped.

He is a very charismatic person

and he's also a very generous person.

- Mm-hmm. - And...

I don't know.

He real... he really, like, engages young people.

And is... and very...

candid, you know?

He doesn't place himself at a, kind of...

uh, distance from them... like, he gets excited.

Okay, the one thing I will say about that...

and I don't think that this necessarily means

that you, like, shouldn't bring him to your class...

but it's something to think about...

which is the fact that, like, when he comes in there,

and when you're, like, "This is my friend,

"this is, like, my peer,

"this is..." whatever,

you do become kind of responsible

for him and for his behaviour.

Yeah.

And I feel, like, just given what we know about him

as, like, a public figure, about the...

the themes that he's interested in...

the stuff that you're saying even about,

like, how he wants to kind of, like,

"shake people out of their complacency,"

or whatever... like...

I do actually understand what you're saying

about that being, like, an invigorating thing,

or whatever, but...

and I've had that experience, too, of just, like...

you know, when you're with somebody

who's, like, so different from you,

and who maybe just, like,

injects, like, an energy into your life,

that you feel excited by it.

But... they go away...

and then you still have to live your own life.

And, like, I feel like, in the classroom,

what that is is, like...

you know, he comes in, and he says a bunch of shit,

and stirs things up, and makes it crazy,

and then, he leaves,

and everyone's looking at you,

and you have to kind of answer for it.

So, we'll go down by the adult learning centre,

into the DVP,

across the bridge, to go to this nature path?

Okay.

I'm gonna time the run.

- Okay. - All right.

Can we keep together on the run, though?

Yeah.

Because when you run just ahead of me,

it feels like you're pushing me to go faster.

- Okay. - Do you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, what's the point of running together

if we're not keeping together?

Okay, fair enough.

Hey, Dad.

I brought a guest.

Hi.

You remember my friend, Mara, from school?

It's good to see you.

Yeah, so, no...

yeah, so, normally, I come here, and, uh...

I'll hang out in this chair.

I'll show you all my little techniques.

So I can control his, uh...

bed with this thing. They taught me how to do it.

See? Like this.

I sit here, and I contemplate my next moves.

Is he, um...

like, cog... cognizant?

Sometimes.

All he's talking about

is that it's currently

a seller's market in real estate,

and that he wants to get a real estate license

so he can get in on the big boom.

I'm being a hundred percent serious.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Nurses say that he's, uh, doing good, and that...

maybe... actually, what am I saying?

They're all so friendly, they just smile.

And it's so obvious they know that he's toast.

I think I'm the only person visiting.

When you put your feet up like this,

it's very easy to sleep in this place.

I don't...

I don't... I don't feel...

I don't feel comfortable, um...

- Relaxing? - Relaxing.

Well, I'm just showing you, this is what I...

this is how I sleep when I'm here.

- Yeah. Okay. - Okay. Okay, all right.

Want me to close it? Watch your leg.

I'm okay.

I know.

I know, I'm just saying this...

He had a good life.

Loved wine. Loved cigars.

My mom would always say,

"You gotta stop drinking and smoking."

And I was, like, "Why? He's, like, enjoying this."

I'm really sorry.

Let's go. Let's... Let's not stay.

No, it's good.

I brought you here to say hi for one second!

No, no, it's okay. Just stay a little while.

Here, you... you sit on the chair.

It's okay. It's okay.

What do you do? What do you do when you're here?

I sit here and I read him

old "Sir Lancelot" stories.

No, you don't.

Yeah, that's true.

I got a printout of one...

of the same one that he use to read to me.

Sit.

Okay.

Thanks for coming.

Bedroom.

Uh, bathroom's down there.

Uh, this is gonna be, like, writer's room.

Wow.

Someone likes you better than I do.

Pretty good, eh?

Got a chin-up bar.

Ever used one of these before?

I do it with my legs out, like this.

You're not counting.

Four. Five.

Six.

Seven.

- Oh, oh, oh! - Eight...

That was a mistake. That was a mistake.

- Oh, my god. - Are you actually hurt?

I can't take this. Don't look at me.

Are you actually hurt, Matt?

- Don't laugh. Don't laugh. - Matt...

I didn't hurt myself...

and if you make me laugh,

it's gonna be so much worse.

Where does it hurt?

Right where my hand is.

Whoa.

Am I gonna make it, Doc?

I think so.

Sorry if I'm sweaty.

Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, I'm-I'm gonna run hot water over this,

so it doesn't swell.

I mean, I'll be two seconds, okay?

- Matt? - Be out in one sec.

Don't go.

I'll be back in one second.

The wipers on the bus

Go swish, swish, swish

Swish, swish swish

Swish, swish, swish

The wipers on the bus go swish, swish, swish

All through the town

De, de, de, de, de...

The door.

Door.

...Go open and shut

Open and...

Round and round Round and round

The wheels on the bus go round and round

All through the town

Wah-wah-wah

Wah-wah-wah

The babies on the bus go...

Owl, owl, owl!

Owl?

Owl. Owl, owl!

I think you can be so much...

more... I don't wanna use the word "controversial,"

because that is so, um...

I-I mean, I'm only saying this

because of this...

Like, unfortunate reality

of the publishing world,

which is that you need to stand out so starkly

from the crowd,

and, in order to do that,

you need to be doing things

that nobody else is willing to do,

because, otherwise, you sanitize yourself,

and that's, I guess, what I'm, uh, trying to say

to avoid, is this kind of sanitization,

which I actually think

is people worrying about an audience.

Every single time I've seen somebody

write honestly,

it's never humiliating at all.

I've seen people admit the most disgusting,

dastardly, evil,

criminal things in their writing...

nobody thinks that it's true,

everybody just thinks it's brilliant writing.

Every single time. Every single time. Right?

And so, I encourage you to explore that,

at the very least, as a therapeutic technique

for writing the things that you dare not say.

Because there is a distancing effect

between art and the creator of it,

where, for whatever reason...

I mean, you don't need to look any further than...

who's that guy who wrotePortnoy's Complaint?

W... You guys ever read that book?

It's insane!

- It's Philip Roth. - Yeah, Philip Roth!

It's a book about him basically, like, sleeping with

and raping half of New York City, and...

Okay, let's...

The point is, nobody's knocking on Philip Roth's door,

being, like, "Excuse me, sir.

You admitted to bad things in your writing,

now you're going to jail."

No, they gave him the Pulitzer Prize.

Sorry. Anyway...

It sounded really good.

- You actually liked it? - Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it's going good.

We're gonna extend the recording,

and, uh... probably by another week.

Okay.

So I'm not gonna be able to drive you to Ithaca anymore.

Okay.

Which, I know, screws up your plans, but...

I mean...

I'm sure we can someone to drive... to drive for you.

'Cause we have the car.

Yeah.

Sorry, I mean...

Yeah, I'm sorry. I would've driven, but it's...

It's ultimately fine. I just have to wrap my head around it.

Do you know anyone that can drive, or...?

You always date women

that look a bit like Jewel, actually.

Yeah, 'cause I like people whose teeth

are a little bit messed up.

- I have... I have, like, one... - No, I know.

- I know all about your teeth. - Little tooth here...

- Yeah. Mara, I know all... Yeah. - That someone told me is cute.

Why do you think I'm so interested in you?

I've been... I got my eye on that tooth, don't worry.

I've been keep... I've been keeping track of that tooth.

Dream...

Um, so we keep going on this for quite a long time.

But until what? What am I looking for?

- Until we get to Rainbow Road. - We cross at Rainbow Bridge?

Yeah, we're crossing at Rainbow Bridge...

- Oh... - To New York State.

Then I know what we gotta do.

Wow.

Great!

The power!

"The power!"

The power!

We just totally interrupted their family photo.

Holy shit!

I got this. I got this.

I got... No, I'm your chaperone. Remember?

I'm in charge.

Not in charge, sorry.

- In charge of your bags. - Mm.

- I'm, like... - I'm in charge.

Yeah. You're Miss Daisy.

- Hello. - Hi there. Welcome.

- Are you here for a check-in? - Yes.

Uh, yeah. I have two rooms.

Uh, one for Matt Johnson, one for Mara Walsh.

Mm-hmm.

What have you got in here? Why is this so heavy?

Do you wanna not bang my laptop against the counter?

- No problem. - 311 for you... that's that way.

125 is for you... it's this way.

Ah, really far away from each other.

Thank you.

Did you plan that?

Uh, I think I should rest up before I go give my talk.

Oh, you want me to come with you?

- Uh, I'm just... - To check out that side,

and then we'll go see the other side?

I'm just gonna go take a nap...

It's a party.

Okay.

Then you wanna meet downstairs? We'll go get something to eat?

- After the talk? - Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

I'll meet you back here? Oh, Matt!

- Your bag. - I thought you were, like,

"Oh, I've got something to tell you, Matt." Okay.

Come to the talk, please? No, don't come to the talk.

- Bye! - Bye.

- Hi. - Hello.

Um, Mara Walsh.

Mara Walsh?

Um, you can just sign in there.

Here you are.

There's tea, coffee, snacks... just help yourself.

And, uh, you get one of these.

Non-fiction, radio plays, libretti,

and graphic novels.

Her current areas of research

include symbolism in romantic poetry,

and the topic of today's panel...

theatrical adaptation.

Please welcome to the stage Mara Walsh.

Hi.

What the hell is this?

Are you coming in?

Yeah!

What are you doing here?

I was, uh, at the conference.

What are... What are you doing here?

I didn't see you on the program.

I aced it!

Wow! Amazing.

Could you open the trunk?

What? What?

Can you open the trunk?

Yeah.

Thanks.

Cool.

Hmm?

Nice.

I went to dinner with this girl yesterday.

That's why...

That's who I was with when I texted you.

Just someone that you...

She's from Toronto.

She's a writer from the... from the conference.

Her name's... Maeve.

You went to dinner with Maeve Palanko?

Yeah.

But I-I-I-I've been on a few dates with her in the city, too.

- Like, our agents... - You didn't mention that!

It was... It wasn't... It wasn't a...

It's very superficial, I'll just say.

Like, we don't have a ton in common, but, um...

yeah.

I know... I know of her work, yeah.

I think it's really interesting

that you narrow in

on the most famous person available.

No, it's all right. I kind of...

I've understood that's your priority

for a little while, so...

Oh, my god! You're upset.

Why is this bothering you?

Why do you care?

Why do you care that she left an earring in the car?

Because you're trying to do... you're trying to...

I'm trying to what?

You're trying to... I know what you're trying to do.

Okay. So what is it?

You are trying to make it seem like I care.

Like, you're...

- you're doing... - And how 'bout this?

- You're doing... - How 'bout this?

I'll do whatever you want.

- You are the one... - I'll do anything you want, Mara.

That left a woman's earring in my car!

I didn't leave her earring there!

- To send some... - I didn't do that to...

To manipulate you!

- I don't give a fuck about her. - Yes, you did!

- No, I didn't! - Why are you taking my car?

Why are you putting another person in my car?

Think of what would need to happen for me

to be, like, "Hey, Maeve.

Give me that fucking earring, I'm gonna leave it right here."

And her and I are giggling away, being like, "Oh..."

I'm not saying that you planted it there.

I'm saying that it's a little insensitive

for you to not cover your tracks at all

if you're going to take people off in my car.

- And then, I'll be able... - We had plans to have dinner!

And I come down,

and I wait in the lobby, and you're not even there,

and then I find out, like,

what, you've gone out to dinner with someone else?

Like, how is that not... I mean, what...

I texted you. I texted you!

I said, "Come to the restaurant with us."

You texted me when you were already out at a restaurant

with someone, and, like...

it's like we have this, like...

what was the word that you used?

Like a... like a complicity.

Like a... like a complicity together.

And then... and then you...

then you act like it's absolutely nothing!

We didn't have a time that we were set...

- No, you... - I went to get a drink

- with somebody... - What you want...

Then it turned into dinner.

What you want is me to feel silly

that I thought we were gonna have dinner together.

- You're insane. - Like, and even now,

even now, like, you're making me feel stupid

for having even... even thought that.

Mar, we didn't have a set time.

You said, "Meet me in the lobby after my talk."

I said, "Let me come to your room with you."

Okay, the last...

And you went, "No, no, no, no, no.

"I'd rather take a nap. Oh, how 'bout I meet you..."

- Matt, I had... - "at some unspecified time for dinner?"

Matt, I had 30 minutes before my talk.

Uh-huh.

How long was the talk?

Therefore, after it, when?

When was I supposed to be in the lobby?

I didn't know any of this shit.

Okay, this is beside the point. This is you...

- This is the whole point! - Excusing...

No, this is you excusing...

No, no, no.

You do not get to get by on a technicality.

I'm not trying to get by. I'm not in trouble!

- You know that I can't be, like... - I know...

"Yes, come with... come have a nap with me."

- Like, I'm not... - Oh, please, as if I know.

You rewrite the rules every day!

These are always your rules!

And then, I'm going... I'm going along with it.

I-I'm... I'm playing... I'm there.

I'm there, I'm there,

and then, you go, "Oh, I'm not playing."

Or just... no, you just...

I love you.

- No, shush. Shush, shush, shush. - Yeah, yeah, I'll admit it.

- I love you. - That's not true.

You do what you want.

You do what you want with that,

and you can... you say anything you want.

Don't tell me that you want this now

when you literally didn't want it yesterday.

Don't pretend you don't do this thing where you make a joke

and see if I'll go for it.

I can't go for it,

because if I did go for it, you would...

- Then what? - You would pretend

that you hadn't made the offer at all.

No, how is this even...

How is that even a word you're throwing around?

You're not even allowed to throw that word around!

I kind of like the way that it looks fake.

Yeah, it looks like it's covered in velvet.

It's funny that...

like, how did they get photographs that were that long?

True. I hadn't thought of that.

Maybe they took two photos and stitched it together.

How?

I don't know. Like...

Be right back.

Hang on just one second.

What's going on?

Shit, Matt. I'm so sorry.

He, he just looked the same.

Yeah.

He just looked the same,

and, uh, they had all these... I had to sign a bunch of forms.

Like, I realized that, uh...

I knew this was coming, so why did I wait?

- Yeah. - Um...

Yeah, but all of that... but all of that...

there... it's just things that have to get done,

and you do them, like, it's...

I'll help you.

I'd appreciate it.

Yeah. Um...

yeah, we'll figure... we'll figure it out, Matt.

Who was that?

Have I mentioned my friend, Matt, to you before?

No.

His Dad died.

Really?

I'm sorry. What happened?

Um...

I mean, he's been sick for a long time,

but he got a call from the hospital,

saying that he passed.

I'm sorry.

I feel like that's really disturbing.

You just get, like, a phone call with that information.

- Hey! - Hey.

I'm sorry I'm late. I was...

- Hi! - Hi.

Thanks for coming.

Oh, I don't wanna do this.

I wanna just skip to the end.

Yeah, yeah.

Hi. Good afternoon.

- Yeah. How are ya? - I'm fine, thank you.

We're trying to get this suit altered.

Okay, this was my Dad's suit, and I need it to fit me.

- Okay. Try this on, please. - Okay.

What am I supposed to say at this thing?

Like, what do I say?

Am I supposed to go up and talk?

Like, who does this?

Who's in charge of this?

- Very good. Perfect. - I mean, did your Mom say

that you're the one that's supposed to speak?

Nobody said anything.

- Nobody's told me anything. - Okay. Okay.

Well, think about it.

You can take it off now, sir.

And, uh, give it back to me.

- Uh, name, please? - Uh, Matt.

Matt, okay.

- And, uh... - Phone number?

- My number... - Your number.

Uh, 647...

647...

637...

3003.

Put-put down... put down your name, too, Mar.

- Sure. - Mar... okay.

And... Mara.

- Okay. - Thank you.

That looks great. Thank you.

How long until, uh...?

I think it'll be another 30 minutes, maybe.

It looks really good, Matt.

It looks really, really nice.

Oh, this is really nice.

Where is he in that?

I have no idea.

It looks like maybe Asia.

Wait. This is Hyde park.

- Oh. - Is this cross ridiculous?

What do you mean?

My Dad would... My Dad's an atheist.

I think you won't... I think people won't notice it.

It's sort of... it's just kind of part of the...

part of the wall.

Won't notice that?

Yes, they will. It's the whole wall.

It's 5'8"!

I mean...

Okay, then we can see if...

- What are you doing? - I mean,

I'm just trying to see if it's mounted on the wall.

- If it isn't... - Mar...

- I could... - No, don't touch it.

Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

This feels like a heist.

I don't know how I'm supposed to...

Don't. Who cares, who cares, who cares?

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Just leave it. It doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter.

Excuse me?

Oh, my god.

Is this, um... Is this nailed onto the wall?

Uh, no, it's up on a hook.

Oh, it is? It's on a hook.

We can...

Would be a trouble if we... if we wanted to take it down?

Just... not for us.

We both think it's great.

It's my Dad, uh, who didn't...

he didn't agree with a lot of this.

Ready?

Yeah. Okay. Whoa-kay.

- Where's this going? - Um...

let's just leave it here for now.

I'll... I'll take care of it.

- We're putting this on the ground? - Just for now, yeah.

Then I'll grab a trolley and I'll take care of it.

Thank you.

Haven't seen one of these on the floor like that.

Makes me feel like we've done something wrong.

I think we have.

Yeah, okay.

Dad? The cross is gone.

Thank you.

- Sorry. - Hey.

What's up?

Is it weird that I'm home?

- No. Why? - I don't know.

I'm not usually here in the afternoon.

That's okay. What are you doing?

Uh, I don't know. Am I interrupting?

No, come sit down.

What are you working on?

Um...

just a song that I've been working on for a bit.

It's almost done.

- Do you wanna hear it? - Sure.

It might get loud after a little bit, so...