Original subtitles

[dramatic music]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yeah .

Oh , yeah .

Oh , that's it.

Oh , yeah .

You must be so nice in bed .

That spot.

Oh , yeah .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yeah .

Oh , God.

You make me so nice and wet.

Oh , God, yes.

Oh , that's it.

Lick my clit.

Oh , yeah .

Oh , that's it.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , sweetheart,

you taste as good as you look.

Come on, I want to feel

those famous muscles flexing arou nd my cock.

I've always tried

to make those particu lar muscles the best featu res of my routine.

[soft, moody orchestral music]

Damn .

Teeth in it and you 'll be right out.

Yeah .

Oh , that's it.

Oh , God.

Oh , that feels good .

Oh , yeah .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , God.

That feels really good .

Oh , yeah , deeper.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yeah .

Oh , yeah .

Oh , that's it.

Oh , yeah .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yeah .

That feels so good .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yeah , that's it.

Oh , yeah .

I'll put in a muscle you can really feel.

Oh , that's great.

Go deeper.

Oh , how's that?

Oh , that's great.

Yeah , deeper.

[passionate moaning]

This is ridicu lous.

I don't have all day to screw arou nd here.

[moody music]

[passionate moaning]

Fuck yeah .

Oh , yeah , that's it.

[passionate moaning]

[knocking on door]

Oh , shit, that's Arnold .

Goddamn it, I forgot all about it.

Come on, babe, hurry up. Here comes the judge.

I'm going to get the door.

Well , hello, sir.

May I help you ?

Jackie, I'd like to introduce you to Arnold Feregano,

the celebrity head judge for Satu rday's bodybuilding contest.

Arnold , this is Jackie Lilley.

Ou r pleasure, Jackie.

The Arnold Feregano in my gym?

I don't believe it.

This is too good to be true.

You 've got to meet my girls.

Come on . They're right through this door.

You 'll love them .

As you can see,

nothing is too good for my girls.

I think you can see the resu lts by the bodies Jackie has produced.

That's Shelly Lee,

last year's first place winner of the women's bodybu ilding competition .

Let me introduce you to some of my girls.

This is Susan.

Hi , Susan .

Hi .

This is Kelly.

Probably the best upper torso in the whole gym .

Look at that definition .

Nice.

Very nice.

This is Lau ra.

Note that leg and thigh definition .

Lau ra, Arnold Feregano.

Fantastic work, Laura.

Keep it up.

Thanks.

It's really nice to meet you .

I know I need a lot more work to be a world-class builder like you .

I'll be glad to help you in any way I can.

Perhaps you cou ld give a class for my girls.

I'm su re they'd enjoy private tutoring from someone of your stature.

Thank you .

I might just do that.

Arnold , I think it's time we were going.

We have a lot of other places we got to see today.

What's the hurry? We just got here.

Besides,

I've got to see

as many of these well-developed bodies as I can

before the contest.

It's all part of the job.

-Yeah, but we got a lot -- -You 're absolutely right.

I'm glad you feel that way.

You just feel free to stop by any time you'd like.

My girls would be happy to flex all of their muscles

for your approval .

Thank you , I might just do that.

Maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

That'd be wonderfu l .

We'll all be right here, ready and waiting for you ,

right girls?

-Right. -Right.

Sure will .

You don't mind if I take a look arou nd , do you?

Oh , no. Please do.

Hey, sweetheart, can I see you tonight?

How about some dinner later?

Oh , that'd be wonderfu l.

I just need to get a workout in first.

Say, eight o'clock.

I want to talk to you about this contest on Satu rday.

You got it, baby.

Why don't you come by my place, though?

My cooking might surprise you .

'Sides, every time I see you , it's in one of these damn gyms.

Oh , that sou nds like a nice change of pace.

You 're a great lover and a great cook.

I'm game.

You r place at 8 :00?

Sou nds great.

See you then .

Come on, Arnold , we got to go.

I'll see you later, Jackie.

It's nice meeting you .

Bye-bye.

[moody rock music]

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

That's the judge and his sidekick.

Hey, I'll bet you that them broads are hit below the belt,

if you know what I mean.

Oh , yes, I know what you mean .

You mean they're just fucking those two guys

just so they can get what they want.

Yes, I guess you cou ld put it that way.

Anyway,

we've got to figu re out something to make sure that our girls win .

I got it.

We can kidnap him and we'll hold him

u ntil after the contest is over. -No, no, you dumbass.

That'll never work.

It's got to be something to get them away,

but it's going to have to look like an accident.

I know.

We'll wait 'til everybody's gone and we'll break in the gym, see?

We'll jerry rig the equipment

so that they're pulling more weight than they think.

[laughs] Those broads will have so many strained muscles,

they wou ldn't even be able to walk.

[laughter]

Holy shit,

Jackie Lilley sure got

some good-looking broads working out in her gym .

-No shit. -You know what?

We might lose this fucking contest, even if we do jerry rig that equ ipment.

Hey, we better go rig that equ ipment up.

No, no, no.

We better wait 'til it gets dark. That way, we won't get spotted so easily.

Wow.

Damn good-looking , too, aren't they?

Door arou nd here somewhere.

You watch what --

-You 're always hitting me. -You 're always bu mping into me.

Shame on you .

There's a window right there.

All right. Let's get it open.

Get in that way.

Be qu iet.

Be qu iet.

Be qu iet.

[police sirens wailing]

Whoa.

Whoa.

[dramatic rock music]

Goddamn it, I fell down.

I hu rt my back.

Get through here.

You should be more careful , you fucking moron .

Give me that.

Yell at me.

[groans]

Come on.

[groans]

Whoa.

Damn , get you r --

You 're always hitting on me.

You act like a -- somebody's going to hear us.

Shh .

Let's go check this. Check this.

It's locked .

Fuck.

-Fuck, this door is stuck. -Fuck.

Let's try this door over here.

Shh .

Be qu iet.

Does it look like anybody's here?

-Everybody's gone. -All right.

Now, I'll tell you what to do.

You go over to the bikes and you adjust,

and I'll go over to that machine and adjust it, all right?

Be quiet, man , we don't want to get busted .

[tense piano music]

[giggling]

Ed.

Hey, Ed .

Shit.

[giggling]

Hey, Ed , you ain't going to believe this.

There's three chicks in there and they're fucking each other.

Su re. Come on, man . Qu it screwing arou nd .

We got to -- Come on .

You ain't going to believe this.

This better be good.

That's all I got to say.

[creaking]

There's nobody here.

Sometimes, you 're a fucking moron.

-Damn it. They were just there. -Yes, su re.

What the hell are you two doing in my gym?

You might as well talk, boys.

You r shirts have already given you away.

Well , it seems

a little not too gentle persuasion is in order here,

but first: the clothes, boys.

Oh , come on, baby. You must be out of your mind .

Take them off.

-Now. -Don't shoot.

Just don't shoot. Don't shoot.

[upbeat rock music]

Come on, ladies,

let's not get so serious about the situation.

You ain't going to get away with this. This is kidnapping .

Only followed by your breaking and entering.

You little boys made your bed .

Now, you 're going to have to lie in it or hang.

You should have told me.

These girls ain't going to get what they want.

I wou ldn't say that.

Ou r coach is very adept to getting her away.

The problem with these guys is they think that they're the dicks,

but they're just a little bit short on brains.

Maybe if we pinch their memories, they'll remember why they're here.

[moody rock music]

Lady, do anything you want.

We still ain't going to talk.

Besides, it's just starting to feel real good .

I can fix that.

Jackie, I have a nice, big strap-on dildo I was going to use on Shelly,

but I think I know a better use.

What do you say, ladies?

Let's rape them .

After that, we can use my douche with boiling water and alu m.

Bust him open and then shrink them shut.

You ain't got the gut.

Oh no?

Go get it, Kim .

Here, you hold this.

[chaotic music]

Boy, you r ass is mine.

I've always wanted to deflower a virgin .

That is, if you are a virgin down there,

or is this your good buddy here?

Whoa.

Don't worry, honey.

The good doctor will put you back together again

when my friend rips you open .

-Here it is, Jackie. -Oh , good .

This is going to be so much fu n.

Here, I 'll help you get it on.

Oh , this is so nice and big.

You 're going to love it. [laughs]

There you go.

This could be you r chance to talk.

How about it?

Fuck you .

No. Fuck you .

Oh , fuck.

[screams] [laughter]

That cocksucker.

This is for you .

[screams] -You 're next.

Oh , please, don't.

Don't. That hu rts.

Well , isn't that what you were trying to do to us?

No, we were just trying to keep you from competing on Satu rday.

Shut up, Tony.

Jackie, I think this one needs his ass stretched .

Maybe I better get him ready right now.

Please, Ed , talk.

This chick is killing me already.

Oh , this is just getting to be fu n.

Could you struggle a little bit more, please?

Oh , we were just trying to set you r equ ipment

to pull more weights they were set for.

We figu red your girls wou ld have a few pu lled muscles

and no more contests.

Well , thanks a lot, partner.

I suppose you think

a beating from our boss is going to be a lot easier.

Shit.

Hey, look, girls, our boss is a winner. He always has been any way he cou ld,

and he wants his girls to be winners, too.

That's ou r -- was ou r job to guarantee that win.

When I saw the judge and the coordinator here today,

I thought you girls was patting your chances for a win .

If you catch my drift.

Why not give us the chance to compete fair and square on Satu rday?

How do we know you girls haven't made a deal?

Hey, I know those goofballs wou ld sell their sou ls for the likes of you .

To be honest with you , I did try that approach .

Same as you ,

I didn't think the judge had the fu ll desire to be honest.

I was wrong .

Even Jim passed on the deal .

I was very impressed.

So you 're trying to tell me

that the contest isn't fixed in you r favor?

That's right, anyone could win.

Let us go, I told you everything.

My ass hurts so bad , I'm never going to be able to walk again .

Do we have to let them go, Jackie?

We cou ld use a couple of slaves to help clean up arou nd here.

That's true.

Of cou rse, with these two boZos, we've never even gotten them housebroken.

It's late, we better let them go. I have a meeting to go to.

Damn , this was getting real interesting, too.

Maybe me and Kim shou ld stick arou nd and clean up.

Come on , Lilley, we told you everything you wanted to know.

Now don't leave us with these two maniacs.

We'll never walk again .

Maybe I shou ld stay and help?

No, you two have a job to do for me.

Go back to you r boss

and tell him Jackie Lilley cannot be pushed around .

You tell him my girls are u nbeatable.

Tell him to stay home Satu rday,

or he can come to one of these little parties.

It's late, ladies.

I'm su re their mommies want them home for dinner.

Come on, Lilley.

[moody gu itar and sax music]

What about ou r clothes?

[laughter]

All right, do you have the keys to the car?

You left the fucking doors locked , you fucking morons.

What a couple of jerks.

I know, weren't they?

God . [chuckles]

Well, I think I'm going to take a shower now.

How about a little massage before that shower?

Oh , that sou nds great.

I'd love one.

All right.

[soft, romantic music]

[passionate moaning]

You have a beautifu l body, too.

Oh , hardcore.

I love watching you work out.

[passionate moaning]

Does it tu rn you on to watch me?

Yes.

-Oh. - I love you r muscles.

I'm not su re that they're like that.

[chuckles]

You know it.

[laughter]

I know what's the secret and you know it, too.

Secret thrilled.

[passionate moaning]

That's so good.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , God.

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , there you go.

Yes.

So wet.

Oh , yes.

[laughter]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , lick me.

You taste so good .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes, ma'am .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

Oh , Shelly.

[heavy moaning]

-Oh , Shelly. -Oh my God .

[heavy moaning]

Oh , God.

Oh , Shelly.

[light moaning]

This is a nice place you have here, Jim .

Probably not at all what you were expecting.

Especially not for a bachelor.

Have a seat, darling.

That was a fantastic dinner tonight.

Any other hidden talents?

[chuckles]

Only the ones you already know about.

Those are talents, too.

Do you do lau ndry also?

[chuckles] Anything but windows, babe.

Tell me, what did you do today after we left?

Two guys from the Westside Iron Campus broke into my gym.

What the hell did they want?

They wanted to sabotage my girls' chances in the contest.

You see, their idea was to rig ou r equ ipment

so that we put more weight than we thought, causing strained muscles.

Luckily, two of my girls and I were there and we put a stop to their plan .

I see.

Just how did the three of you

manage to overcome these guys and get them to spill their guts?

A little gentle, womanly persuasion can go quite a long way.

I cou ld use some of that gentle, womanly persuasion myself.

[knocking on door]

Damn it. Excuse me.

-Hey. How you doing , Jim? -Hi .

Look, I just came by to remind you --

Jackie, what a surprise.

You look fantastic.

Arnold , what'd you want to remind me of?

What?

Oh ,

I forgot.

I'll remember in a minute.

Anyway, I can't tell you how impressed I was with you r girls,

but I'll be honest with you ,

you wou ld be very stiff competition for them yourself.

Oh, Arnold, you're so sweet. I'm through with competition , though .

My first love is coaching.

Do you really think I look that good?

You bet.

Tell her, Jim .

He's right, Jackie.

The definition in you r legs is pertect.

I don't know.

Nothing's perfect.

You are.

Sweetheart,

why don't you show Arnold the rest of you r body?

I'm su re he'd enjoy the work you've done.

Definitely.

Let's see that championship form , Jackie.

I don't know.

It's been so long since I've done any posing.

What the hell?

[moody rock music]

That looks good , doesn't it?

Yes, looks like you r French lady.

I think she's got a good development.

[chuckles] She's got a hell of a development.

What are you talking about?

I 'd like to live in a development like that.

That's for sure.

Oh , yes, that's really -- Jackie, God .

You two have to join me.

You r clothes, boys.

Come on.

[soft, moody music]

Oh , yes.

Oh , God.

Oh , yes, suck on my clit.

[passionate moaning]

Nice dick.

-Thank you . -[passionate moaning] Look at you .

You 're welcome.

You 're real good .

[passionate moaning]

Just have some friends [indistinct] .

Great dick.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

By the way, gentlemen ,

I'm su re you'll both do everything possible

to make sure

that the most deserving ladies will win Satu rday.

[passionate moaning]

I love that.

You taste better at night than you do in the morning .

[speaking French]

I love it when you talk French .

Oh , yes, you really know how to do it.

Oh , look at that.

Arnold , I think I found a hole you can fill .

Is this what you Americans call doggy style?

[chuckles]

[passionate moaning]

-Oh , God . [moans] -[sucking]

-Oh , yes. -Oh , fucking yes.

[moans]

[passionate moaning]

[speaking French]

[passionate moaning] [sucking]

-[passionate moaning]

Feel free to stop by my gym anytime, gentlemen .

One exercise program is guaranteed to please.

Ready girls?

Stretch, stretch, that's it.

Make it hard a little bit, then you know it's working.

Make sure you 're nice and loose before you r workout starts.

We don't need any pu lled muscles, especially the day before the contest.

Also,

make su re you check the weights you 're pu lling,

make sure you know exactly how much is there,

and check up you r rep charts,

make sure every set and repetition is cou nted

for true reading of you r workout's effectiveness.

Remember,

my goal is to help you reach the goals you set for you rself

when you entered my gym .

Thank you .

Carry on , class.

Arnold , you look awfu l happy today.

Must be the new exercise program my coach put me on .

Well , a healthy body is a happy mind.

Very good.

I was a little worried.

Jim told me

about these two visitors you had last night.

Oh , they weren't much .

Just some jealous rivals playing schoolboy pranks,

but everything's back to normal now.

Good to hear that.

Looks like you've got a fu ll house. Maybe it's not the right time to stop by.

Oh , no, of cou rse not. It's a pertect time.

Come on in.

-Kim? -Yes.

You remember Arnold Feregano?

He's bu ilt more bodies than General Motors and he'll be judging tomorrow's contest.

Maybe you can give us some pointers on ou r workouts.

Yes, I'd be glad to help.

What kind of bu ilds will you be looking for tomorrow?

Firm,

good development,

good definition .

Kim ,

why don't you ladies take Arnold into the locker room

and show him you r charts?

He can help you a lot more if he can see what you've been doing .

That's a great idea. Come on .

Well , that one's Laura's and this one's mine.

You girls have been working very hard .

Well , those charts show the procedu res, but this is where you see the resu lts.

[moody dance rock]

Well , yes, you have achieved some beautifu l results.

So firm .

Don't stop.

Feel free.

To really help me, you've got to get to know my body.

That's right.

We want you to take every opportunity to study our bodies.

Then you can tell us exactly what to do to be winners.

Well , I got a feeling you already know.

[rock music cont.]

[passionate moaning]

I see my comp is here.

Oh , yes, yes.

That's good .

-That is good. - It's good , no?

[chuckles]

Now you 're good .

[passionate moaning]

How are we doing , coach?

Oh , God.

This is too good to be true.

Yes?

Yes.

Who's ditching who?

Oh , God.

Oh , yes.

[chuckles]

It looks like Arnold's love muscle is ready for its exercise routine.

[speaking French]

Come on, Arnold .

It's time for you r workout.

Wow, look at those muscles.

Yu m .

Come on, Arnold .

I know this afternoon is co-ed day,

but I'd appreciate it

if you guys wou ld let the girls use whatever equ ipment they need.

Remember, they have a contest tomorrow.

Oh , yes.

That's good .

My turn now.

Have you r way.

[speaking French] [passionate moaning]

It's great.

[speaking French]

[passionate moaning]

[speaking French]

[passionate moaning]

I cou ld watch you pump iron all day.

Seems like a boring existence, but thanks for the compliment.

Don't sell you rself short, Dave.

You 're a very handsome man.

You pump iron all day.

What do you at night?

Or does the pu mping stop when you get home?

I pu mp any time I can .

How about you ?

Now seems like a good enough time with the both of us.

[passionate moaning]

This is why most men work out, too.

Do it.

Yes.

Just plain and sweet.

You taste wonderful .

[passionate moaning] .

Nice, nice.

You su re know how to exercise.

You 're doing the exercise on me.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

Well , that looks like fu n.

Good exercise, too, hu h?

-Can I join? -Please do.

Just join in .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

Can I have some of that?

Yes.

Isn't that wonderful?

Oh , what a muscle, hu h?

You can tell he's been working out.

Just wondertul .

Oh , God.

Oh , I got to sit on top of this.

Come on.

I'm going to watch this.

That's it.

Oh , yes.

-That's nice. [passionate moaning]

It feels nice.

It feels so good .

Oh , yes.

It looks wondertul .

[moans]

It's nice.

It feels wonderfu l.

[moans]

Oh , suck on his balls.

Oh , that's it.

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

You guys are doing great.

You just continue with this little exercise.

- I got to check on everybody else, okay? -Okay.

[passionate moaning]

Hi , there.

Hi , Jackie. How's it going?

I'm okay.

What do you say we have some fun with Keith and Michael?

Sure.

What shou ld we do to get them interested , though?

Well , let's just play arou nd with them a little bit

and see what happens.

What do you say?

-Great idea. -Okay.

-Slowing down , handsome? -Yes, I think so.

Actually, let me help you develop some real muscles.

-[passionate moaning]

That's nice.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , God.

-[rock music] -[kissing]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , so good .

Oh .

You are definitely a world-class boyfriend.

Yes.

[passionate moaning] [rock music]

[passionate moaning]

It feels all right.

[moans]

Hey, Shelley.

Come over here.

[passionate moaning]

Yes.

Right here.

Isn't that much better?

Oh , yes.

So hot and sweaty.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes, eat my pussy.

[passionate moaning]

Yes, more.

[passionate moaning]

That's so good.

[passionate moaning]

I want you to stick your tongue in my pussy.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , you are so good .

[passionate moaning]

Oh my God.

[passionate moaning] Oh, oh, oh , Kelly.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes, strong tongue.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , God.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , that feels good .

Mm , tastes terrific.

[passionate moaning]

I'm so wet.

I want to feel your cock inside of me.

[passionate moaning] [lips smacking]

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

Hey, how about some real fun?

Want to go and join Susan and Kate?

Sure.

Come on, let's go.

[lips smacking] [passionate moaning]

That's great.

-Why don't you climb her back here? -[passionate moaning]

Yes, that's it.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , Jackie, you come up with some great routines.

[passionate moaning]

-You guys keep up the workout. -[passionate moaning]

Make this a really good one.

- I got to check on everybody else, okay? -All right, it's okay.

[passionate moaning]

Roger, Shelley.

I see you 've already caught on to my sexercise. [chuckles]

Mind if I join you ? -By all means, Jackie.

Show us your stuff.

Why don't you sit right here?

[passionate moaning]

-J ust look at this muscle. -This is nice and comfortable.

Relax.

[passionate moaning]

So good .

[passionate moaning]

Yes.

Oh , yes, that's good.

[passionate moaning]

It's nice, nice.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning] [lips smacking]

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning] [laughter]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , oh , oh , oh.

[passionate moaning]

I'm cu mming .

Me too. [passionate moaning]

[speaking French]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

[lips smacking]

[passionate moaning]

Yes.

[passionate moaning]

-Oh , yes.

-[passionate moaning]

God .

You are kind of ahead of it.

Yes.

[passionate moaning]

That's right.

Oh . [passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning] -Shit.

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

Feels good .

[passionate moaning]

Roger, you just lie back and Shelley can practice her squats.

Okay.

[rock music]

Yes.

[passionate moaning]

Remember, class,

lots of rest, exercise, and sex

is important for a healthy body.

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

Yes.

[rock music]

Jackie, I don't seem to have a partner to work out with today.

Think you can help me? - I'd love to.

Let's try one of my favorite routines.

I think about 69 reps shou ld do it?

-Mm, I like the way you cou nt. -All right.

Fuck me.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , fuck.

- I'm going to cu m . [passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

Kim , Lau ra, come here.

[passionate moaning]

All right.

That's ou r Jackie.

This just makes me harder.

I think I need some more work.

How about you , Laura?

I'm with you .

Come on, Arnold .

We love your loving touch.

[passionate moaning]

Yes.

Oh , fuck me.

[passionate moaning]

I love working out with you .

[passionate moaning]

Go deeper.

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

Fuck me faster.

[passionate moaning]

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

Oh , that's it.

Oh , God, you 're fantastic.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , oh , yes.

Oh , God.

[passionate moaning]

Watch me.

[passionate moaning]

[panting]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

Fuck me.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

[speaking French]

[passionate moaning]

[speaking French]

[passionate moaning]

[speaking French]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , fuck me.

[passionate moaning]

I'm cu mming .

[passionate moaning]

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

Just rel.

Remember to do everything the way you practiced it.

Okay, I'll try.

I 'm just a little nervous. -Oh , Kim, you'll do great. Just rel.

I mean it.

And if you give a damn about your scoring last,

the winners will be Karen, Marlene, and Jen. And in that order, you got that?

Yeah , you got that?

Hey, come on, you guys. The cou nting has got to be fair.

You don't understand ,

the resu lts are going to be on TV nationwide, man .

The best girls don't win, I'll look like a fool,

and the public will -- -Hey, hey, I don't want to hear

any talk like that.

Wou ld you rather be an alive fool , or a dead one?

Okay, okay, you got it, you got it. Please, just let me go.

You just remember it. I'm going to be watching you .

I'm watching you .

[dramatic music]

What's that all about?

Those two hoods just came up

and said their girls had better win or else.

Or else what?

Or else I'm a dead fool .

Those were the same two

that broke in my gym and tried to sabotage the equ ipment.

I knew they'd be trouble.

You 're not just going to let their girls win , are you ?

Of course he's not.

Look, why don't you two go find Kelly and Susan?

Try to find Arnold . I 'm su re they're looking for him next.

-Hurry. -Okay.

[dramatic music]

I don't care what you do to me, It's not fair and I simply won't do it.

Look here, asshole. Don't try to be some kind of hero with me.

If our girls don't win, you're going to be a dead man .

You guys are pretty serious, aren't you ?

Dead serious.

You just remember: Karen , Marlene, and Jen. In that order.

Okay, you guy. Just leave me alone.

We'll be watching you . Remember that.

[dramatic music]

Arnold .

-Arnold , did they hu rt you? -Who?

Those two jerks who were threatening you .

Threatening me?

I'm fine.

Are you sure?

We heard them talking.

Those are the same two

who broke into ou r gym and tried to rig our equ ipment.

Come on, we've got to stop them . They went this way.

Yes, come on , come on .

[dramatic music]

I'm glad to see you made it.

-Of course we did . -Now, keep you r guard up,

because there's two very persuasive punks arou nd

dead set on fixing this contest.

The same two we ran into the other night, Shelley.

They've already threatened J im and I'm su re Arnold is next.

Nancy,

since you two were finalists last year and can't compete this year,

maybe you cou ld stick close to Jim like a bodyguard .

You know those two won't do anything if there's other people around.

If they see you again , they'd probably ru n away.

That wou ld be to his advantage.

I'd love to guard his body.

It sounds like so much fu n . Just like being in the Secret Service.

Good.

Why don't you three find some nice, quiet, out of the way place

to sit 'til the contest is over?

My ladies will take excellent care of you .

I'm su re they will .

Come on, ladies.

Now,

you ready to start getting ready for the contest?

Don't waste you r time.

[dramatic music]

Come on.

Hey, Tony, I was thinking about --

-Will you watch where you 're going, man? -Shit. I thought we did good today.

You 're always getting down on me.

We did do good , but I've been having second thoughts.

I think you ought to go back

and double-check. -Really?

-Seriously. -Okay, everyone, get you r hands up.

Hey, sure, lady. Anything.

Just no more of you r little tortu re techniques.

Hey, it's [indistinct] . Let's put him in here.

Get in there, scu m.

Get in there.

-Okay, good work. -Close the door. Hurry.

Good work, you guys.

It's almost showtime.

-We're going to have to hu rry. -What are we going to do?

You three go on , I'll stay here.

-Are you sure you 're going to be okay? - I'll be fine.

Here, take this.

Take good care of them .

Especially the big one. [chuckles]

-Okay, see you later. -Good luck.

Hey, bring me back a trophy.

Okay, I'll try.

Come on, we got to hu rry.

Has anyone seen ou r two friends?

Sure did. Susan's guarding them.

Good. We'll check on them in a little while.

Meantime, you ladies have a contest to win .

Lau ra, wou ld you help them get ready, please?

-With pleasu re. -Good .

-Has anybody seen Arnold? -He took off

after we saw those two guys talking to him .

He was pretty upset.

Damn .

I'll try and go find him . Maybe I can help him rel.

Meantime, you ladies stay loose

and listen for you r names in case I don't make it back in time.

Okay.

Testing. Testing.

One, two, three. Are we ready, folks?

Can we get some of that echo out, please?

You know what?

Must be aul boring for you to just sit here and watch me.

Not at all .

This is fu n .

Come on , now. It's a drag and you know it.

What we need is something to liven up the place a little bit.

Any ideas?

There is something you could do for us.

Name it, anything.

But if it's too much trouble --

Trouble? Come on . No trouble. What is it?

Really.

Since you're the expert in physical fitness and bodybuilding,

maybe you cou ld show us where we need a little work.

I'd love to look at you r body -- weak spots.

Weak spots my ass.

Show me my g-spot.

Oh my god.

Testing. One, two, three.

Are we ready?

Can we get some of the echo out, please?

We're going to be on the air in two minutes.

Good.

By the way, what are you doing later?

I'm going home with my husband .

Figu res.

Testing.

-Mr. Feregano. -Testing.

-One, two, three. -We would like to know

if we cou ld talk to you du ring the contest.

You see, our viewers want to know your opinions

and the insight that you can tell them as the contest actually takes place.

Of course.

I would love to talk to all those viewers out there.

Excuse me, sir, we're not on yet.

-Give us a few more minutes. -Of cou rse.

-Just practicing. -Right.

Look, what we want is you r opinion of the ladies

as they go through their individual poses.

Your comments should tell us who has a better chance of winning.

I can't wait.

Good.

These guys from a TV station . He's going to ask my opinion live on air.

Isn't that exciting?

Yes, very.

What are you going to say?

Who I think is a winner and who's not.

From my comments,

everyone in TV Land will be able to tell the winners

before the resu lts are in .

Isn't that great?

Yes, very.

Excuse me, sir, the camera is ready now.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

to the second annual women's bodybuilding competition ,

with our celebrity guest judge, Arnold Feregano.

Covering this event for the local television network

is the ever-popular Kirk Dowling.

What exactly is a winning bu ild, Mr. Feregano?

A well-proportioned body is the best.

Some of those bu ilders go overboard.

Eyes too big, too much [indistinct] . I mean...

Development shou ld be an equally proportionate thing .

[passionate moaning]

You taste great.

[passionate moaning]

So good .

[passionate moaning]

-You like that? Oh, yeah . -Oh, yes, I love it.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yeah , work it.

Fuck.

Oh , yes.

[passionate moaning]

Yes.

Yes, ma'am .

Well , it looks as though the contest is about to begin .

First, we have the introductions and then the preliminary posing.

Mr. Feregano has been kind enough to let us in

on his gut-level feelings of the girls as they go through their poses.

[passionate moaning]

And now, ladies and gentlemen ,

ou r first contestant is about ready to begin her routine.

Here she is, Terry Armstrong from La Lay's Gym .

Terry is 5'7" and weighs 1 25 pounds.

Here's our first lady.

What do you think, Arnold?

Oh , yeah , that's good .

So good .

That feels wonderful .

I mean, she looks wonderfu l .

Terry is from Washington DC

and currently lives in Virginia, where she raises thoroughbred horses.

-Thank you , Terry. [applause]

Great.

Wonderfu l.

What's wrong?

I realiZe that bodybuilders are known more for their muscle

and not their articulate commentary,

but I believe he likes number one, folks.

How about contestant number two?

Ou r second contestant is Marlene Cox from the Westside Iron Pumpers.

That's no good at all.

Oh , no.

Westside Iron Pu mpers and La Lay's Gym

have been competing against each other in every meet this year.

Rivalry is fierce.

Some even intubate foul play.

Marlene is 5 foot 7

and weighs 1 20 pou nds. -That bad , hu h?

I guess that's a thumbs down for nu mber two, folks.

Let's try contestant nu mber three.

Ou r third contestant is Kim Baxter of the La Lay's Gym .

Kim is 5'4" and weighs 11 0 pou nds.

Yes, I love it.

Oh , yeah , that's very --

Kim is a resident of Missoula, Montana,

and she keeps in shape by working at a local lumber mill .

I guess that makes her a lu mberjill .

Sorry, folks.

-Thank you , Kim . [cheering]

Yeah , that's better.

Much better.

Don't stop.

Keep it up.

Well , I guess when Mr. Feregano likes them,

he really likes them .

Let me unwrap this big dress.

Oh , yeah .

Oh , yeah .

I hope everybody else is having as much fun as us.

We sure are.

We're working out harder than they are.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , you taste so good . God .

Oh , you got that cock nice and deep.

[passionate moaning]

God .

Oh , that's it, use your tongue.

[passionate moaning] Oh, faster.

[passionate moaning]

Oh , yeah .

Make her feel good .

Fuck that cu nt with my tongue.

[passionate moaning]

Only two contestants left, ladies and gentlemen .

Here again from the West Side Iron Pu mper,

Karen . This may be

the stiffest competition in this contest for La Lay's Gym.

Ouch .

Ouch?

Ow, oh .

That's not good .

-That's bad. -That must be bodybuilders lingo

for someone pulled a muscle.

Maybe this last one is a little bit better.

Ou r final contestant, Kelly Miller of La Lay's Gym .

[applause]

Kelly is 5'8"and weighs 1 25 pou nds.

This is her first week since her tryouts for the US Olympic team .

Good luck in the trials, Kelly.

Thank you , Kelly.

[passionate moaning]

-While we're waiting for resu lts -- -That's good .

-Of the competition ,

I wou ld like to remind everyone to be sure

and purchase their season tickets for this year's roller derby events.

To be held in this auditoriu m every Tuesday and Thursday.

We're down to our five finalists in this competition.

All on stage, one last podium .

Judging from the witty and descriptive commentary

coming from good old Lonnie here,

I believe we have a winner in Kim Baxter.

So tell me, Arne,

I really don't understand the reasons for you r decision .

Could you let me in on some of the finer points of judging?

Oh , well ,

strength , beauty, and a successfu l record.

Oh , god, I'm convinced

Kim has an excellent chance of scoring big with a technique.

The look on our judge's face, I believe our results are coming soon .

[passionate moaning]

[drumroll]

Well , I see the final resu lts will be up any moment now,

and

I 'm beginning to see the merits of judging now.

To review for you all ,

our finalists are

Terry Armstrong of La Lay's Gym -- -Oh , yes. That's good .

Kelly Miller of La Lay's gym ,

Kim Baxter, also of La Lay's gym . -Very good .

Karen Crypts of West Side I ron Pu mpers.

-[laughter] Oh, yes. -The results of the

second annual women's bodybuilding competition --

I see the final results are coming in now.

First place, Kim Bter of La Lay's Gym .

Ou r winner is Kim Bter in first place.

[applause] [drumroll]

Second place goes to Kelly Miller, also of La Lay's Gym .

Kelly Miller in second.

Ou r third and final winner is Terry Armstrong of La Lay's Gym .

Terry Armstrong third. [applause]

How about that, folks?

A sweep for La Lay's Gym .

Congratu lations to all ou r winners.

Cut, go to commercial .

Thank you all for coming today.

[passionate moaning] -Please use the side exits

as you leave the auditorium .

A videotape of today's competition is available

thanks to the Wondertul World of Video, distributed by

Essex Video.

Anyone interested shou ld inquire at the bottom

and thank you again. [passionate moaning]

Oh .

[passionate moaning]

Oh , God, yes.

Oh .

That feels so good .

[passionate moaning]

Oh .

Oh , God.

Oh .

[passionate moaning]

Oh, yes. That's good.

I'm going to cu m .

Oh .

Oh , don't stop.

Oh , God.

Oh , you guys are fantastic.

Oh , don't stop.

[passionate moaning]

Kim , Kelly, Terry, I'm so proud of you all .

We cou ld never have done it without you .

Oh , by all your smiling faces, I'd say we have some winners here.

That's right.

Kim is ou r champion of the year,

but of cou rse, Kelly and Terry weren't far behind.

You mean we took first, second and third?

That's right, Shelley.

That's more than enough cause for a celebration .

How about a party?

All right!

Jackie, I have to --

Arnold , where's you r manners?

Aren't you going to congratulate

our winners? -Oh , Arnold ,

thank you so much for being there.

Of course, the most deserving always win.

It's party time.

Let's go back to the gym ,

there'll be champagne waiting for everyone.

I'll ride with you , Arnold.

Those guys might still be arou nd .

Yes, and we want to make su re you don't get hu rt.

Yes.

He's so great.

Speaking of those two thugs, where are they?

That's right.

Susan's watching them in the janitor's closet.

We better check on her.

I'd like to get you u nder control.

Lady,

let's get physical .

Come on.

Let's have a party.

[synth rock music]