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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,906 --> 00:00:03,508 The adventure begins. 2 00:00:03,510 --> 00:00:05,202 Previously on "You Me Her"... 3 00:00:05,491 --> 00:00:07,395 Were you drunk this time? 4 00:00:07,481 --> 00:00:08,731 - No. - Me neither. 5 00:00:09,161 --> 00:00:10,411 My November rent. 6 00:00:10,504 --> 00:00:12,104 Only fair, 'cause I didn't give you any notice. 7 00:00:12,105 --> 00:00:13,166 No. 8 00:00:13,168 --> 00:00:15,261 Hope it works out for you, rebound girl. 9 00:00:15,402 --> 00:00:17,473 Yeah, you better fucking run! 10 00:00:17,541 --> 00:00:19,543 She wasn't my first girl. Or my second. 11 00:00:19,545 --> 00:00:22,258 Well, she seemed pretty eager to get back on that bike, didn't she? 12 00:00:22,260 --> 00:00:23,566 I thought I lost you. 13 00:00:23,634 --> 00:00:27,243 My brilliant wife has just accepted a seat 14 00:00:27,245 --> 00:00:30,668 on the prestigious Hamilton School Alumni Board. 15 00:00:30,670 --> 00:00:32,537 - Mom? - I don't know what you think you heard. 16 00:00:32,539 --> 00:00:34,578 We got some negotiating to do, don't we? 17 00:00:34,580 --> 00:00:37,475 LORI: This whole "niece that fell from the sky" issue 18 00:00:37,477 --> 00:00:39,129 continues to bother me. 19 00:00:39,131 --> 00:00:41,246 AVA: Lori has assigned me to use the interwebs 20 00:00:41,248 --> 00:00:43,258 to find out whether Izzy is or isn't your niece. 21 00:00:43,260 --> 00:00:46,086 - Shit. - She knows I can do it. I can do it. 22 00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,407 - EMMA: We got the theater project. - JACK: That's so great. 23 00:00:48,408 --> 00:00:50,513 Well, everyone says I'm gonna get partner. 24 00:00:50,515 --> 00:00:52,560 [Doorbell rings] CARMEN: You do remember we're having everybody over 25 00:00:52,561 --> 00:00:53,637 for the game tomorrow, right? 26 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,282 - We're doing this. - We are? 27 00:00:56,331 --> 00:00:57,895 Fuck yeah, we are. 28 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:00,573 This is our choice, and this is what we want. 29 00:01:00,575 --> 00:01:01,981 Do it. 30 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,170 [Rap music playing] 31 00:01:08,978 --> 00:01:10,117 ♪ What's up? ♪ 32 00:01:10,119 --> 00:01:11,611 ♪ What's up, what's up? ♪ 33 00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:12,656 ♪ What's up? ♪ 34 00:01:12,658 --> 00:01:14,713 ♪ What's up, what's up? ♪ 35 00:01:14,779 --> 00:01:16,008 ♪ What's up? ♪ 36 00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:21,384 [Indistinct rapping] 37 00:01:21,386 --> 00:01:22,417 [Music stops] 38 00:01:22,419 --> 00:01:24,419 subtitle by peritta 39 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 40 00:01:33,522 --> 00:01:36,468 [Exhales] 41 00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:46,945 [TV chatter] 42 00:01:47,611 --> 00:01:49,814 What are you fucking doing? 43 00:01:50,881 --> 00:01:52,703 Don't fucking do it. 44 00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:54,509 ♪ 45 00:01:54,511 --> 00:01:56,244 Don't fucking... 46 00:02:00,891 --> 00:02:01,892 She knows. 47 00:02:01,926 --> 00:02:03,928 I'm trying to save you from yourself, dipshit. 48 00:02:04,084 --> 00:02:05,494 Yeah, well, maybe you should try 49 00:02:05,496 --> 00:02:07,431 and save yourself from that -- that... 50 00:02:07,498 --> 00:02:09,233 God damn it, you look super cute. 51 00:02:09,235 --> 00:02:10,199 Really? 52 00:02:10,201 --> 00:02:11,279 - [Chuckles] - Thanks. 53 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,465 So you'll help me with the toast? 54 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,837 Nah, I think I'll let you tie the noose 55 00:02:13,838 --> 00:02:15,840 and kick out the chair. 56 00:02:18,168 --> 00:02:19,252 Great party. 57 00:02:19,254 --> 00:02:20,578 Hey, Gabe. 58 00:02:22,228 --> 00:02:24,229 - Hey, little brother. - Hey. 59 00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:27,264 What in the Sam fuck are you doing? 60 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,791 You know what? Not now, Gabe, okay? 61 00:02:29,793 --> 00:02:31,246 - Mm. - What are you doing? 62 00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,687 - What was that about? - Mm. 63 00:02:35,008 --> 00:02:36,859 - Again. - Ohh! 64 00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,666 You cheering against the Ducks? Is that what's happening? 65 00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:43,319 - You ready? - Everyone has drinks. 66 00:02:43,407 --> 00:02:44,849 Okay, let's do it. 67 00:02:46,658 --> 00:02:47,805 [Clears throat weakly] 68 00:02:48,172 --> 00:02:50,370 MAN: Yes! Oh! Beautiful. 69 00:02:50,372 --> 00:02:52,476 - JACK: [Clears throat] - IZZY: Yo. 70 00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:54,081 [Indistinct conversation] 71 00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:57,759 Uh, can -- can someone pause the game for a second, please? 72 00:02:58,616 --> 00:03:00,535 - Don't do this. - I have to. 73 00:03:00,537 --> 00:03:02,867 - Don't pause it. - Yeah. 74 00:03:03,231 --> 00:03:06,508 Okay, could everybody... raise their glasses? 75 00:03:06,703 --> 00:03:07,858 Drinks up. 76 00:03:07,892 --> 00:03:11,313 We have some very exciting news we want to share with you 77 00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:14,896 because, really, we're more like family than neighbors. 78 00:03:16,342 --> 00:03:18,041 ♪ 79 00:03:18,043 --> 00:03:19,512 Aren't we? 80 00:03:19,770 --> 00:03:22,006 When you really think about it? 81 00:03:22,449 --> 00:03:23,584 ♪ 82 00:03:23,688 --> 00:03:25,480 Yeah, we are. 83 00:03:26,217 --> 00:03:27,886 Okay, um... 84 00:03:28,790 --> 00:03:30,448 I'm Izzy. 85 00:03:32,018 --> 00:03:33,419 This is Izzy. 86 00:03:33,584 --> 00:03:36,063 She just said that. 87 00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:38,456 I'm sorry. I don't understand what's going on here. 88 00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:40,297 Why -- why are you presenting your niece 89 00:03:40,299 --> 00:03:41,972 like it's her coming-out party? 90 00:03:42,685 --> 00:03:44,020 It's act-- [Chuckles] it's kind of funny 91 00:03:44,021 --> 00:03:47,183 you used the phrase "coming out," um, because... 92 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:51,844 Because, um, I'm not their niece. 93 00:03:52,603 --> 00:03:54,138 - WOMAN: Oh. - MAN: Um... 94 00:03:55,206 --> 00:03:56,724 We're together! 95 00:03:57,834 --> 00:03:59,505 We're a throuple. 96 00:04:01,078 --> 00:04:02,880 [Murmuring] 97 00:04:03,316 --> 00:04:05,808 We're living together, like romantically. 98 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,284 Mm-hmm. 99 00:04:07,351 --> 00:04:09,283 [Murmuring] 100 00:04:09,435 --> 00:04:12,126 Yeah, so cheers, everyone, okay? 101 00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:15,025 - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. 102 00:04:15,092 --> 00:04:17,798 [Chatter] 103 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,866 - Keep Portland weird. - Keep Portland weird. 104 00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:20,988 - Oh, my God. - [Cellphone clicking] 105 00:04:20,989 --> 00:04:22,735 A third -- what's that called? Polygamy? 106 00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:24,209 - Polyamory. - Polyamory. 107 00:04:24,211 --> 00:04:25,987 So Emma's bisexual now? 108 00:04:25,989 --> 00:04:28,124 Yeah, yeah. I guess, yeah. 109 00:04:28,126 --> 00:04:29,413 We both are. I'm bisexual. 110 00:04:29,415 --> 00:04:30,702 Sorry, I -- 111 00:04:30,714 --> 00:04:32,177 H-Hang on. 112 00:04:32,409 --> 00:04:34,951 Um, Ava, you're the one 113 00:04:34,953 --> 00:04:37,638 who showed me Jacqueline Isabelle's profile. 114 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:39,716 What? 115 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,586 I-I-I don't... 116 00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:44,167 Oh. 117 00:04:44,304 --> 00:04:47,725 The Trakarskys and -- and the Amaris 118 00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:50,664 are scheming against me once again. 119 00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:53,496 Only this time, they've recruited my own daughter 120 00:04:53,498 --> 00:04:56,303 to cover up their degenerate sexcapades. 121 00:04:56,606 --> 00:04:59,737 You know, wow, really does sound tawdry the way she says it. 122 00:05:00,261 --> 00:05:01,741 And, little Missy, 123 00:05:01,917 --> 00:05:05,062 you can say bye-bye to that shiny new 3 Series. 124 00:05:05,064 --> 00:05:08,279 No, no, no. I earned that car. 125 00:05:08,345 --> 00:05:09,897 I'm gonna be class president. 126 00:05:09,899 --> 00:05:11,034 Mm. 127 00:05:11,264 --> 00:05:13,617 Ava, not to pile on, but that deal's off the table 128 00:05:13,619 --> 00:05:14,962 now that I don't work there anymore. 129 00:05:14,963 --> 00:05:16,406 You were also bribing her? 130 00:05:16,408 --> 00:05:18,281 God damn it, we really should've brought notes. 131 00:05:18,283 --> 00:05:22,556 Yes. Yes, they -- they tried to bribe me. 132 00:05:22,672 --> 00:05:25,870 And Emma threatened to break my leg if I didn't help them. 133 00:05:25,872 --> 00:05:29,300 - [Murmuring] - I was so scared, Mommy. 134 00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:31,235 "Mommy," really? 135 00:05:31,302 --> 00:05:32,703 Seriously? 136 00:05:32,770 --> 00:05:34,804 Okay, you know what? Everybody calm down. 137 00:05:34,806 --> 00:05:38,103 While certain elements of what Ava said are true... 138 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,046 Yeah, let's -- let's stick to the facts, Ava. 139 00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:43,220 I threatened to hurt her if she told her mother, 140 00:05:43,222 --> 00:05:44,447 not to make her help us. 141 00:05:44,449 --> 00:05:45,472 Oh, well... 142 00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:47,209 - Emma. - [Murmuring] 143 00:05:47,211 --> 00:05:50,423 Then suddenly our lives became a suburban revival of "The Crucible." 144 00:05:50,425 --> 00:05:55,964 This deviant relationship -- I-it might be official now, 145 00:05:56,673 --> 00:05:59,416 but your contract with the Hamilton School is not. 146 00:05:59,418 --> 00:06:01,513 And I promise you the Alumni Board 147 00:06:01,532 --> 00:06:04,092 are gonna find this new information 148 00:06:04,434 --> 00:06:05,567 very interesting. 149 00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:07,603 - [Chuckles] - You're awesome. 150 00:06:08,138 --> 00:06:10,171 [Murmuring] 151 00:06:10,173 --> 00:06:11,109 Em -- 152 00:06:11,111 --> 00:06:15,279 ♪ 153 00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,170 EMMA: It's all cool. 154 00:06:29,118 --> 00:06:31,332 Everybody just -- you guys relax. 155 00:06:31,334 --> 00:06:32,896 Don't look so worried. 156 00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:34,541 It's fine. 157 00:06:36,025 --> 00:06:37,234 We're so fucked. 158 00:06:37,852 --> 00:06:39,103 No. 159 00:06:39,169 --> 00:06:40,653 No, we are so fucked. 160 00:06:40,655 --> 00:06:42,782 I'm gonna lose my promotion, and... 161 00:06:42,784 --> 00:06:45,057 I mean, what was I thinking? What was I thinking? 162 00:06:45,059 --> 00:06:46,805 Who threatens to break a little girl's leg? 163 00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:48,462 - We're gonna lose everything. - No, we're not. 164 00:06:48,463 --> 00:06:49,583 - Yeah, we are. - No, we're not. 165 00:06:49,584 --> 00:06:50,571 Yeah, we are. 166 00:06:50,573 --> 00:06:52,348 - We're gonna lose everything. - Emma, no, listen to me. 167 00:06:52,349 --> 00:06:53,508 Yes, listen, you don't have a job. 168 00:06:53,509 --> 00:06:55,865 - I'm gonna lose -- - Listen to me, okay? 169 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,227 Kiss me. 170 00:06:57,257 --> 00:06:58,366 Kiss me 171 00:06:58,734 --> 00:07:00,700 like you saw my plane crash, 172 00:07:00,896 --> 00:07:02,649 but you didn't know I parachuted out 173 00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,994 until I came up behind you and tapped you on the shoulder. 174 00:07:04,995 --> 00:07:06,599 - Okay. - Okay? 175 00:07:11,201 --> 00:07:14,099 Okay, s-so that's, like, a thing with you guys. 176 00:07:14,805 --> 00:07:17,207 Well, I -- I can do that. 177 00:07:17,274 --> 00:07:18,542 Watch this. 178 00:07:18,575 --> 00:07:21,407 Kiss me like I just went Uma fucking Thurman 179 00:07:21,409 --> 00:07:23,571 on 40 ninja assassins, 180 00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:26,062 and -- and zip-lined you to safety. 181 00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:28,449 [Both chuckle] 182 00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:34,924 All right, my turn. 183 00:07:34,926 --> 00:07:35,957 Kiss me 184 00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:38,730 like we're two astronauts, 185 00:07:38,732 --> 00:07:41,098 and there's a comet headed for the earth. 186 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,493 And we mount it, we manage to divert it, 187 00:07:43,495 --> 00:07:45,719 but at the last second, your boot gets stuck. 188 00:07:45,721 --> 00:07:46,959 - Oh. - Right? 189 00:07:46,961 --> 00:07:49,104 And I'm like, "I'm not leaving you, honey. 190 00:07:49,173 --> 00:07:50,904 No way," right? 191 00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:53,230 And then the Aerosmith song starts playing, 192 00:07:53,232 --> 00:07:55,274 and we stop bickering just long enough 193 00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:56,737 to grab each other -- - Sorry. 194 00:07:56,739 --> 00:07:58,158 Um... 195 00:07:58,526 --> 00:08:00,985 So, it's not so much kissing as it is like -- 196 00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,878 like knocking visors. 197 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,141 We're about to die anyway, so we take off our helmets. 198 00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,794 Just grab each other by the face. 199 00:08:07,796 --> 00:08:09,752 Well, yeah, but at which point, your head would, like, explode 200 00:08:09,753 --> 00:08:11,422 because you're hurtling through space at like a million miles -- 201 00:08:11,423 --> 00:08:13,596 - Oh, just kiss me. - Cool. Cool, cool, cool. 202 00:08:13,598 --> 00:08:14,924 I mean, I won't even ask 203 00:08:14,926 --> 00:08:17,576 how two people can possibly divert a... 204 00:08:17,578 --> 00:08:19,881 You know what? I-I've got a good one. 205 00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:24,608 Kiss me like I built a time machine 206 00:08:24,636 --> 00:08:26,321 and I went back to the night 207 00:08:26,323 --> 00:08:28,258 that Lori Matherfield's parents met, 208 00:08:28,260 --> 00:08:31,637 seduced her father, married him, 209 00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:34,093 devoted five years making sure 210 00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:36,945 that no version of Lori was ever conceived, 211 00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:40,881 built another time machine in our basement 212 00:08:41,697 --> 00:08:44,500 with, like, crude 1970s technology, 213 00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:46,789 then finally made my way to you. 214 00:08:46,791 --> 00:08:48,770 Oh, that is good. 215 00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:52,375 That is so, so good. [Chuckles] 216 00:08:53,697 --> 00:08:55,579 Not as good as the astronaut one. 217 00:09:01,690 --> 00:09:04,045 Okay, can you guys... disengage? 218 00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:05,104 'Cause it's my turn. 219 00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:07,027 - Kiss me like -- - You know what? 220 00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,230 I'm gonna need a tongue break. 221 00:09:08,232 --> 00:09:10,438 - She's done. - No, you -- you guys were great. 222 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,888 - Yeah, awesome. - Thanks. 223 00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:13,090 Okay, but just for the record, 224 00:09:13,091 --> 00:09:14,860 - I had a really good one, so it's gonna be... - Hey. 225 00:09:14,861 --> 00:09:16,479 ...clearly the best of the night. - It's not -- 226 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:17,864 Guys, it's not a competition. 227 00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:19,225 - Of course it's not. - No. 228 00:09:19,712 --> 00:09:21,245 No, it's about you. 229 00:09:21,696 --> 00:09:23,120 But if it was... 230 00:09:24,235 --> 00:09:25,495 - I would've won. - ...I could -- 231 00:09:25,496 --> 00:09:26,715 Uh, guys. 232 00:09:27,628 --> 00:09:29,006 It's a tie. 233 00:09:29,072 --> 00:09:31,715 I declare this a tie, so thank you. 234 00:09:31,717 --> 00:09:33,356 - Okay. - And thank you. 235 00:09:33,358 --> 00:09:34,437 - Thank you. - Thank you. 236 00:09:34,621 --> 00:09:36,556 I can live with that. 237 00:09:36,652 --> 00:09:37,801 I can totally live with that. 238 00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:39,403 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 239 00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,630 Deep down, you'll always know that I won. 240 00:09:43,632 --> 00:09:45,173 - Oh, come on. She -- - You know what? 241 00:09:45,175 --> 00:09:47,101 You were great. You were great. 242 00:09:47,367 --> 00:09:51,028 ♪ The wheels on the bus go round and round ♪ 243 00:09:51,428 --> 00:09:53,497 ♪ Round and round, round and round ♪ 244 00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:56,614 I can't believe they used our party for their dumbass announcement. 245 00:09:56,633 --> 00:09:58,448 Should we start watching our language around Callie? 246 00:09:58,449 --> 00:10:00,517 - Why? - Gonna go to pre-pre-school next year 247 00:10:00,519 --> 00:10:01,737 and tell everybody to suck her dick? 248 00:10:01,738 --> 00:10:04,177 - I think we're fine. Ah-om! - Mmm. 249 00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:06,266 Have you even told Jack what massive cock-turd he is yet? 250 00:10:06,267 --> 00:10:07,837 Honey, it's 7:40 in the morning. 251 00:10:07,839 --> 00:10:10,444 I will give him a thorough castigation when I get to work. 252 00:10:11,091 --> 00:10:12,572 Should we have their backs on this thing? 253 00:10:12,573 --> 00:10:14,765 - Hey, hey. - No, of course not. That's stupid. 254 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:17,083 Freaking out is totally the appropriate reaction to have 255 00:10:17,085 --> 00:10:20,166 to your best neighbor friends pulling a permanent threesome. 256 00:10:20,168 --> 00:10:21,703 Hello, Dave? 257 00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,724 Oh, I'm sorry. 258 00:10:22,726 --> 00:10:24,327 I thought you were doing a rhetorical monologue -- 259 00:10:24,328 --> 00:10:27,048 kind of a one-woman show thing. There some in there? 260 00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:28,509 I just can't help but feel a little bit... 261 00:10:28,510 --> 00:10:29,515 Open, open. 262 00:10:29,517 --> 00:10:30,776 ...I don't know -- Lori-esque. 263 00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:32,167 Like, maybe we've become... 264 00:10:32,169 --> 00:10:34,100 - Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba. - ...uncool. 265 00:10:34,805 --> 00:10:36,236 Uncool? 266 00:10:36,557 --> 00:10:38,445 What are you talking about? I smoke weed. 267 00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:41,367 A-And I stay right on top of my Spotify Discover Weekly. 268 00:10:41,369 --> 00:10:43,262 I mean, lately it has been recommending the Fray 269 00:10:43,264 --> 00:10:44,297 based on artists I like, 270 00:10:44,299 --> 00:10:45,972 which is, uh, a little unsettling. 271 00:10:46,237 --> 00:10:47,505 You know, we say smoke weed, 272 00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:49,039 but when was the last time we actually did it? 273 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,874 When was the last time we did something sexual 274 00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:53,189 anyone would find remotely disturbing, even Lori? 275 00:10:53,191 --> 00:10:54,398 When was the last time we even just -- 276 00:10:54,399 --> 00:10:55,531 Okay, I get it. So, you're saying 277 00:10:55,532 --> 00:10:56,840 that we're provincial and we're judgmental 278 00:10:56,841 --> 00:10:59,071 because what, we're -- we're not cool anymore? 279 00:10:59,073 --> 00:11:00,542 We're too uncool? 280 00:11:00,690 --> 00:11:02,430 Does that matter to us? 281 00:11:04,826 --> 00:11:06,216 No. [Chuckles] 282 00:11:06,218 --> 00:11:07,972 No. No. 283 00:11:08,357 --> 00:11:10,113 Oh, okay, 'cause I was gonna say yes. 284 00:11:10,115 --> 00:11:11,643 - Fuck, I knew it. - Fuck. 285 00:11:15,043 --> 00:11:16,951 Maybe we start to clean it up a little bit. 286 00:11:16,953 --> 00:11:20,023 ♪ 287 00:11:31,496 --> 00:11:36,701 [Indistinct conversation] 288 00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:41,982 [Telephone ringing] 289 00:11:43,107 --> 00:11:44,509 Hey, Dani. 290 00:11:44,575 --> 00:11:46,110 How's it hangin', boss woman? 291 00:11:46,177 --> 00:11:47,645 [Chuckles] 292 00:11:47,647 --> 00:11:48,971 Sorry, that was -- that was dumb. 293 00:11:49,595 --> 00:11:51,195 Well, hey, what a surprise. 294 00:11:51,197 --> 00:11:52,850 Yeah, so... 295 00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:54,768 Uh... Wait, why? 296 00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,161 Come on in, have a seat. 297 00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,961 Okay. Um... 298 00:11:58,567 --> 00:12:00,981 There is a little situation 299 00:12:00,983 --> 00:12:02,895 that I kind of want to get in front of. 300 00:12:02,897 --> 00:12:05,063 You're referring to your new domestic arrangement? 301 00:12:05,129 --> 00:12:06,648 Uh... 302 00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:08,840 Very progressive, so cool, 303 00:12:08,842 --> 00:12:10,619 all about it, or don't give a shit. 304 00:12:10,621 --> 00:12:12,019 Whichever, pick one. 305 00:12:12,885 --> 00:12:14,816 [Chuckles] Wow. 306 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,780 Phew. You -- You don't know how relieved it makes me 307 00:12:17,781 --> 00:12:18,826 to hear you say that. 308 00:12:18,828 --> 00:12:21,236 Please tell me that you did not threaten 309 00:12:21,238 --> 00:12:23,767 to break the leg of a Hamilton student. 310 00:12:24,349 --> 00:12:27,401 It was just a misunderstanding, right? 311 00:12:27,483 --> 00:12:28,651 Um... 312 00:12:30,378 --> 00:12:33,747 Well, I -- I wouldn't categorize it 313 00:12:33,749 --> 00:12:35,659 so much as a misunderstanding -- 314 00:12:35,661 --> 00:12:36,919 - Fuck a puppy! - What? 315 00:12:36,921 --> 00:12:38,363 No! No puppy fucking. 316 00:12:38,365 --> 00:12:40,098 We -- We were under a lot of stress. 317 00:12:40,562 --> 00:12:42,263 Did you know that she was blackmailing us? 318 00:12:42,265 --> 00:12:44,479 Honestly, this Lori person sounds like a real cunt. 319 00:12:44,577 --> 00:12:45,854 Yes, she is. 320 00:12:45,856 --> 00:12:47,397 She really is a... 321 00:12:47,731 --> 00:12:49,521 Are -- Are we using that word now? 322 00:12:49,523 --> 00:12:50,624 We're owning it. 323 00:12:51,453 --> 00:12:53,992 Look, everyone is scared shitless of her, 324 00:12:53,994 --> 00:12:56,607 and she has threatened to send out a blanket e-mail 325 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,392 to all of the Hamilton parents 326 00:12:58,394 --> 00:13:00,337 if they didn't take this issue seriously. 327 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,426 We're gonna have to deal with it. 328 00:13:03,839 --> 00:13:05,440 Okay. 329 00:13:07,811 --> 00:13:11,122 Well, by "deal with it" you mean you've got my back. 330 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,363 Right, Dani? 331 00:13:13,365 --> 00:13:14,722 Of course. 332 00:13:14,941 --> 00:13:16,751 We're just going to delay the announcement 333 00:13:16,753 --> 00:13:18,765 of your promotion a couple of weeks. 334 00:13:19,077 --> 00:13:20,204 [Chuckles] 335 00:13:20,881 --> 00:13:22,673 I see. 336 00:13:25,059 --> 00:13:26,237 You know, 337 00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:27,614 Danielle, 338 00:13:27,995 --> 00:13:29,635 you have been dangling partner 339 00:13:29,637 --> 00:13:31,596 over my head for three years now, 340 00:13:31,598 --> 00:13:34,145 always just jerking it out of reach at the last minute. 341 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,743 But instead of complaining -- instead of complaining, 342 00:13:36,745 --> 00:13:39,475 I keep grinding, and I nailed that Hamilton School -- 343 00:13:39,477 --> 00:13:41,719 Dangling, jerking, grinding, nailing -- 344 00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:45,163 I'm gonna stop you right there before this turns into a porno. 345 00:13:45,229 --> 00:13:46,782 [Sighs] 346 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,033 We're also sliding you off Hamilton 347 00:13:49,035 --> 00:13:50,681 and onto the PBJ project. 348 00:13:51,035 --> 00:13:52,570 What the fuck is PBJ? 349 00:13:53,104 --> 00:13:55,729 Overpriced clothing for rug rats to vomit on. 350 00:13:56,158 --> 00:13:58,406 Wait, it might be one of those granola grocery stores 351 00:13:58,408 --> 00:14:00,869 where you're never really sure what they do or don't have. 352 00:14:00,871 --> 00:14:02,113 Thanks, Danielle. 353 00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:04,164 So much for women helping women. 354 00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:05,495 I'm not a woman. 355 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:06,918 I'm an architect. 356 00:14:07,516 --> 00:14:08,586 Are we good? 357 00:14:08,653 --> 00:14:09,672 We're great. 358 00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:10,994 We're amazing. 359 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:18,796 I'm really digging this new look you got going on here. 360 00:14:18,863 --> 00:14:20,635 You're like that suburban mom with five kids 361 00:14:20,637 --> 00:14:22,798 who just wakes up in the morning, just like, "Fuck it." 362 00:14:23,204 --> 00:14:24,444 Did you drive you minivan here? 363 00:14:24,914 --> 00:14:26,204 Is that a no? 364 00:14:26,661 --> 00:14:28,029 Are those slippers? 365 00:14:28,031 --> 00:14:30,446 Yep, they're indoor-outdoor, okay? 366 00:14:30,448 --> 00:14:31,727 I've been unemployed for like two days. 367 00:14:31,728 --> 00:14:33,320 Will you let me enjoy a few more 368 00:14:33,322 --> 00:14:36,496 without any belts or zippers or shoelaces? 369 00:14:36,498 --> 00:14:37,882 Mm-hmm. 370 00:14:37,915 --> 00:14:40,754 That was quite the performance you three put on at the Amaris'. 371 00:14:40,756 --> 00:14:42,220 - Oh, God. - Oh, yeah. 372 00:14:42,286 --> 00:14:43,659 What? 373 00:14:43,698 --> 00:14:45,489 No, it's nothing. It's all good. 374 00:14:45,888 --> 00:14:47,623 Oh, really? It's all good, is it? 375 00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,219 - Mm-hmm. - Please. 376 00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:50,996 You guys were like a slow-motion train wreck 377 00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:52,396 I couldn't seem to look away from. 378 00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:54,126 Like, when did you and Emma actually decide to make 379 00:14:54,127 --> 00:14:55,854 that fucked-up decision? 'Cause last I remember, 380 00:14:55,855 --> 00:14:57,513 - you ended it. - Hey. 381 00:14:57,515 --> 00:14:58,736 You want to know what I think? 382 00:14:58,738 --> 00:15:00,863 No. Absolutely not. 383 00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:02,491 There's literally no part of me 384 00:15:02,493 --> 00:15:03,735 that wants to hear what you think. 385 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,229 I think it's entirely possible 386 00:15:05,608 --> 00:15:08,404 that you just introduced your first wife to her first wife. 387 00:15:09,780 --> 00:15:10,924 Okay, you know what? 388 00:15:10,926 --> 00:15:12,616 This -- this has happened our whole lives. 389 00:15:12,618 --> 00:15:14,416 The more you talk, the less sense you make. 390 00:15:14,418 --> 00:15:16,053 I'm just gonna get up, walk away 391 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:18,303 before you start yelling out random word combinations. 392 00:15:18,305 --> 00:15:19,857 Blender, vagina, fullback. 393 00:15:19,924 --> 00:15:22,050 Yoga, pistachio. Buttplug. 394 00:15:22,571 --> 00:15:23,847 Fucking unbelievable. 395 00:15:23,849 --> 00:15:25,358 - I don't want to know. - Hey. 396 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,452 I'm gonna quit my job. 397 00:15:26,454 --> 00:15:28,425 You know, maybe -- maybe not today, 398 00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,202 maybe not tomorrow, but real God damn soon. 399 00:15:31,269 --> 00:15:32,480 [Gabe laughs] 400 00:15:32,482 --> 00:15:34,648 That's awesome. That'd be great. 401 00:15:34,650 --> 00:15:35,986 You know, unemployed polygamists? 402 00:15:36,064 --> 00:15:37,817 Oh, yeah. You should just shave your heads 403 00:15:37,819 --> 00:15:39,624 and get, like, crazy tribal face tattoos. 404 00:15:39,626 --> 00:15:41,345 You know, just fuck it, right, cuz? 405 00:15:41,412 --> 00:15:42,540 - What do you think? - Yeah. 406 00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:43,527 Be good for you? 407 00:15:43,529 --> 00:15:45,929 Can we talk somewhere a little more, you know, private? 408 00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:47,430 Sure, yeah, that's where I was going. 409 00:15:47,472 --> 00:15:48,460 I'll leave you with this 410 00:15:48,462 --> 00:15:50,650 because it's suddenly taken on greater relevance. 411 00:15:50,981 --> 00:15:52,172 I got a connection at Griffin College, 412 00:15:52,173 --> 00:15:53,957 and it seems they're expanding their psych department. 413 00:15:53,958 --> 00:15:56,894 So I will get you a meeting, little brother. 414 00:15:56,961 --> 00:15:58,896 Okay? Got some sauce right there. 415 00:15:58,898 --> 00:15:59,933 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. 416 00:15:59,935 --> 00:16:00,965 - Yeah. - Yeah. 417 00:16:01,032 --> 00:16:02,566 That's a good one. 418 00:16:02,633 --> 00:16:04,173 Did I hear you say that you were -- 419 00:16:04,175 --> 00:16:06,213 I hate my boss, and I want to quit my job. 420 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,294 Yeah. 421 00:16:07,779 --> 00:16:11,383 [Chatter] 422 00:16:11,509 --> 00:16:14,245 ♪ 423 00:16:30,561 --> 00:16:32,096 Hello. 424 00:16:32,098 --> 00:16:33,799 Hello. 425 00:16:40,338 --> 00:16:44,075 ♪ 426 00:16:47,984 --> 00:16:49,747 You're such a gaping asshole. 427 00:16:49,814 --> 00:16:51,812 You're a walking tourist attraction. 428 00:16:51,814 --> 00:16:53,884 The world's largest asshole. 429 00:17:01,292 --> 00:17:02,960 So, what now? 430 00:17:03,391 --> 00:17:04,915 Duh -- pizza. 431 00:17:05,090 --> 00:17:06,809 How are you not obese? 432 00:17:07,297 --> 00:17:09,233 Uh, well, it's genetic. 433 00:17:09,678 --> 00:17:13,112 From the aliens that my ancestors mated with 434 00:17:13,114 --> 00:17:14,247 thousands of years ago. 435 00:17:14,249 --> 00:17:15,973 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 436 00:17:15,975 --> 00:17:19,082 Just to make sure -- you do remember that I quit my job, right? 437 00:17:19,084 --> 00:17:21,327 Well, that firm has been ass-fucking me 438 00:17:21,329 --> 00:17:22,436 for three years now. 439 00:17:22,438 --> 00:17:23,932 - MAN: Wow. - Sorry. 440 00:17:23,934 --> 00:17:26,061 Not literally. That would be horrible. 441 00:17:26,063 --> 00:17:27,264 Not to mention actionable. 442 00:17:27,969 --> 00:17:29,520 Is "ass-fucking" an industry term 443 00:17:29,522 --> 00:17:30,684 for "made you partner"? 444 00:17:31,005 --> 00:17:32,387 Yeah, well, that's 445 00:17:32,849 --> 00:17:34,543 kinda, sorta been retracted. 446 00:17:35,059 --> 00:17:36,927 What? Seriously? 447 00:17:36,929 --> 00:17:38,262 I'm so sorry. 448 00:17:39,056 --> 00:17:41,732 You know how long I've wanted to start my own firm? 449 00:17:42,571 --> 00:17:44,164 Honestly, I don't remember you ever saying that before. 450 00:17:44,165 --> 00:17:46,367 Yeah, I mean, Dani's -- Dani's trying to shove me out, 451 00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:48,005 so maybe I turn this into a leap. 452 00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:50,074 You know? A -- A leap into my bliss. 453 00:17:50,076 --> 00:17:51,115 A bliss leap. 454 00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:53,176 I'm gonna make this into a bliss leap. 455 00:17:53,437 --> 00:17:54,725 Wait, are you high right now? 456 00:17:54,727 --> 00:17:56,182 No, I -- I don't know what I am. 457 00:17:56,184 --> 00:17:59,014 I -- I just, like -- I just... 458 00:17:59,016 --> 00:18:00,125 Listen. 459 00:18:01,112 --> 00:18:02,420 Take it easy, okay? 460 00:18:02,486 --> 00:18:04,755 - Kiss me like we're... - Jack. 461 00:18:05,249 --> 00:18:06,957 You don't need to do that. 462 00:18:07,024 --> 00:18:09,427 Just tell me it's all gonna be okay. 463 00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:10,515 It's gonna be okay. 464 00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:13,006 We're gonna be okay. I promise. 465 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,877 - We are, right? - Yeah. 466 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,236 [Rap music playing] 467 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,965 So, I got a job at Shaun's bar. 468 00:18:22,394 --> 00:18:24,411 That's why I wasn't in class. 469 00:18:24,990 --> 00:18:27,304 So you dropped out of college to pursue mixology? 470 00:18:27,511 --> 00:18:29,442 Respect. Good call. 471 00:18:29,444 --> 00:18:31,859 I switched my class, smartass. 472 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:34,369 - Mm. - But the point is... 473 00:18:34,371 --> 00:18:37,601 [Sighs] I got a real job. 474 00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,244 So you quit escorting. 475 00:18:41,699 --> 00:18:42,958 For Andy. 476 00:18:43,046 --> 00:18:44,962 Whoa, Nellie. 477 00:18:44,995 --> 00:18:47,790 Just, you know, pump your brakes, Speed Racer. 478 00:18:48,019 --> 00:18:49,844 Mnh-mnh, no. 479 00:18:50,518 --> 00:18:53,121 So you're seriously falling for him? 480 00:18:53,404 --> 00:18:54,605 I'm scared shitless. 481 00:18:54,672 --> 00:18:55,713 I can't sleep. 482 00:18:55,715 --> 00:18:57,217 I'm... 483 00:18:57,645 --> 00:18:59,814 Do you really think that I'm rebound girl? 484 00:19:00,022 --> 00:19:01,357 Well, that's... 485 00:19:02,284 --> 00:19:03,741 Okay -- I mean... 486 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:07,759 define "rebound," because in basketball... 487 00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:09,329 - Oh, God. - Okay. 488 00:19:09,331 --> 00:19:11,390 Nin, I just don't want you to get hurt. 489 00:19:11,822 --> 00:19:15,122 I just broke up with him like five minutes ago. 490 00:19:15,334 --> 00:19:16,907 So maybe it's love, but honest -- 491 00:19:16,909 --> 00:19:17,854 No, okay, I know. 492 00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:19,040 It's like, um, 493 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,396 eight years of suppressed Valentine's Days, 494 00:19:22,398 --> 00:19:24,166 all the 1980s Rom-coms, 495 00:19:24,168 --> 00:19:26,991 and every fucking Jane Austen novel collided 496 00:19:26,993 --> 00:19:28,506 and became a super ovary. 497 00:19:28,572 --> 00:19:31,909 [Music continues] 498 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,481 Listen to me, 499 00:19:34,483 --> 00:19:37,168 'cause I need to be very super fucking clear. 500 00:19:37,170 --> 00:19:40,106 Do not say the "L" word to him. 501 00:19:40,328 --> 00:19:41,559 - Okay. - Not yet. 502 00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:43,533 - Not yet. - I can do that. 503 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,131 I mean, not do that. 504 00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:47,369 - Okay. - Okay. 505 00:19:47,556 --> 00:19:49,525 Do you even want to be a college professor? 506 00:19:50,152 --> 00:19:51,177 I don't know, to be honest. 507 00:19:51,178 --> 00:19:52,234 I hadn't really thought about it. 508 00:19:52,235 --> 00:19:54,063 I mean, 'cause I don't want to push you into anything. 509 00:19:54,064 --> 00:19:55,171 Pbht. 510 00:19:55,230 --> 00:19:56,551 What's that supposed to mean? 511 00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,409 - Pbht? - Oh, it's just... 512 00:19:58,411 --> 00:20:00,167 [Cellphones chime] 513 00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:05,596 - Carmen and Dave. - Yeah. 514 00:20:05,810 --> 00:20:07,497 Apparently, they want to go on a double date 515 00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:08,875 with me, you, and Izzy. 516 00:20:09,020 --> 00:20:11,177 Seems like they're making an effort 517 00:20:11,179 --> 00:20:13,157 not to find us self-destructive and moronic. 518 00:20:13,159 --> 00:20:14,877 - [Chuckles] - I mean, that -- that's something. 519 00:20:14,878 --> 00:20:16,270 Yeah, here's to something. 520 00:20:16,272 --> 00:20:18,032 - Here's to something. - [Cellphone chimes] 521 00:20:18,689 --> 00:20:21,072 Apparently, I have an interview at Griffin tomorrow. 522 00:20:22,892 --> 00:20:24,028 Hey. 523 00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:25,685 I mean, how bad can that be, right? 524 00:20:25,687 --> 00:20:28,134 It's not like you're working the late-night drive-through 525 00:20:28,136 --> 00:20:29,753 at Taco Bell or anything. - Mm-hmm. 526 00:20:30,046 --> 00:20:31,481 I mean, if -- if you want to, 527 00:20:31,483 --> 00:20:32,957 'cause, you know, I don't want to push you into anything. 528 00:20:32,958 --> 00:20:33,852 - No. - No. 529 00:20:33,854 --> 00:20:34,889 - Please don't. - I would not. 530 00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:36,893 I'll just push you in this doorway right here. 531 00:20:39,799 --> 00:20:41,735 [Cellphone ringing] 532 00:20:42,434 --> 00:20:44,175 Oh, it's Emma. 533 00:20:44,915 --> 00:20:46,194 Just take it. 534 00:20:46,196 --> 00:20:48,156 I'd hate for you to get in trouble with the wifey. 535 00:20:48,695 --> 00:20:49,789 [Cellphone beeps] 536 00:20:49,799 --> 00:20:51,121 Hi, monkey. 537 00:20:51,188 --> 00:20:53,310 - [Door opens] - ANDREW: Hello. 538 00:20:54,191 --> 00:20:55,659 Oh. Oh, hey. 539 00:20:55,861 --> 00:20:57,461 'Sup? 540 00:20:59,030 --> 00:21:01,387 IZZY: No, it's just, uh... 541 00:21:01,775 --> 00:21:03,680 It's surprising. 542 00:21:04,843 --> 00:21:06,511 Stop that immediately. 543 00:21:06,513 --> 00:21:08,114 Where do they want to go? 544 00:21:09,078 --> 00:21:11,386 No, that's -- I'm in. 545 00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:14,597 Nope, it's all good. Bye. 546 00:21:14,811 --> 00:21:16,686 [Clears throat] Andrew. 547 00:21:16,695 --> 00:21:18,586 - Isabelle. - Okay, this is still weird. 548 00:21:18,588 --> 00:21:20,750 Well, doesn't help when you braid tongues in front of me. 549 00:21:20,751 --> 00:21:22,753 I got to skedaddle anyway. 550 00:21:23,196 --> 00:21:25,351 Emma and Jack are picking me up. 551 00:21:25,353 --> 00:21:26,750 - Aww. - Aww. 552 00:21:26,976 --> 00:21:29,902 For a double date with Carmen and Dave. 553 00:21:29,904 --> 00:21:30,923 Oh. 554 00:21:30,925 --> 00:21:33,990 Amaris have chosen the venue -- China Girl. 555 00:21:33,992 --> 00:21:34,986 China Girl? 556 00:21:34,988 --> 00:21:36,654 Oh, my God, they did that for you. 557 00:21:36,656 --> 00:21:38,836 They want you to think that they're, you know, cool. 558 00:21:38,838 --> 00:21:39,865 It's pretty cute. 559 00:21:39,867 --> 00:21:41,037 - Yeah. - Okay, wait. 560 00:21:41,039 --> 00:21:42,571 You have to promise me that you're gonna get video 561 00:21:42,572 --> 00:21:44,009 of the 30-somethings dancing. 562 00:21:46,295 --> 00:21:47,843 [Laughs] 563 00:21:47,845 --> 00:21:50,283 You're a horrible person, but of course I will. 564 00:21:51,115 --> 00:21:52,440 Bye, Boo. 565 00:21:52,583 --> 00:21:54,860 [Door opens, closes] 566 00:21:54,862 --> 00:21:57,134 [House music playing] 567 00:21:57,136 --> 00:21:58,856 [Cheering] 568 00:21:58,922 --> 00:22:01,725 [Chatter] 569 00:22:30,212 --> 00:22:31,788 You chose this place? 570 00:22:32,106 --> 00:22:33,640 Not me, this one. 571 00:22:33,642 --> 00:22:36,579 I Googled "coolest Portland dance club." 572 00:22:36,629 --> 00:22:38,680 You sure you didn't accidently type in 573 00:22:38,682 --> 00:22:41,752 "greatest concentration of assholes in one place"? 574 00:22:41,792 --> 00:22:44,528 I might quit my job and start my own firm. 575 00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:47,326 - That's fucking awesome. - I know. Can you believe it? 576 00:22:47,328 --> 00:22:49,357 - Yeah. - Is it raining in here? 577 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:50,734 I keep feeling these drops of -- 578 00:22:50,736 --> 00:22:52,230 I think it's sweat, babe. 579 00:22:52,232 --> 00:22:53,537 Oh, God. 580 00:22:53,616 --> 00:22:56,352 Em, I just took a giant shit in my pants. 581 00:22:56,354 --> 00:22:59,204 I know, right? This place is amazing! 582 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:00,842 We can say anything. 583 00:23:00,844 --> 00:23:03,580 Okay, guys, dance time. 584 00:23:03,916 --> 00:23:05,550 - Dave? - DAVE: Oh. 585 00:23:05,552 --> 00:23:07,054 Uh, I'm okay. 586 00:23:07,056 --> 00:23:08,920 I-I'm just gonna do like a little shoulder thing 587 00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:10,701 here in the dark if that's okay. 588 00:23:10,703 --> 00:23:12,349 Emma, don't do it. Remember last time? 589 00:23:12,351 --> 00:23:14,849 Yeah, but I'm so much drunker this time. 590 00:23:15,581 --> 00:23:17,791 Stranger sweat in my eye. 591 00:23:17,793 --> 00:23:19,582 - Honey -- - Stranger sweat in my fucking eye. 592 00:23:19,583 --> 00:23:21,327 Okay, okay. All right, don't -- careful. 593 00:23:21,329 --> 00:23:22,970 Don't touch anything in there! 594 00:23:22,972 --> 00:23:24,620 - ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ - Jack. 595 00:23:25,409 --> 00:23:26,749 Come on, Jack. 596 00:23:26,898 --> 00:23:29,167 ♪ For free ♪ 597 00:23:29,947 --> 00:23:32,628 ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ 598 00:23:34,418 --> 00:23:36,869 ♪ For free ♪ 599 00:23:37,626 --> 00:23:39,562 ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ 600 00:23:39,564 --> 00:23:43,101 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 601 00:23:43,103 --> 00:23:47,240 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 602 00:23:47,242 --> 00:23:50,846 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 603 00:23:50,848 --> 00:23:53,585 - ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ - Come on. 604 00:23:53,587 --> 00:23:58,058 [Laughs] 605 00:23:58,060 --> 00:24:02,064 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 606 00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:05,803 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 607 00:24:05,805 --> 00:24:07,273 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 608 00:24:07,728 --> 00:24:09,530 ♪ Givin' it up for free ♪ 609 00:24:10,300 --> 00:24:12,401 [Laughter] 610 00:24:12,723 --> 00:24:16,336 [Indistinct conversation] 611 00:24:16,463 --> 00:24:17,508 Whoa. 612 00:24:17,510 --> 00:24:19,446 That's, uh -- that's romantic. 613 00:24:20,004 --> 00:24:21,656 We tried. Fuck this hell hole. 614 00:24:21,658 --> 00:24:22,965 Oh, there's my girl. 615 00:24:22,967 --> 00:24:25,204 What were in there for? Four or five hours? 616 00:24:25,692 --> 00:24:28,299 It was, uh, 27 minutes. 617 00:24:28,495 --> 00:24:30,829 - Did we ever go to places like this? - I don't know. 618 00:24:30,831 --> 00:24:32,440 I have a vague recollection, but I can't tell 619 00:24:32,441 --> 00:24:34,656 if it was a fever dream or a horror movie we saw. 620 00:24:34,658 --> 00:24:36,541 Think they even noticed that we left? 621 00:24:36,609 --> 00:24:39,361 Oh, is this about the thing I said about the bike? 622 00:24:39,363 --> 00:24:40,522 What bike? 623 00:24:40,524 --> 00:24:42,151 You know, the one that Emma remembered 624 00:24:42,153 --> 00:24:43,997 how to ride really fast. 625 00:24:43,999 --> 00:24:45,100 Hold on. 626 00:24:45,852 --> 00:24:48,430 Are you saying y-you don't think Emma's bi? 627 00:24:48,432 --> 00:24:50,579 You think she's just, like, gay? 628 00:24:50,581 --> 00:24:52,264 I don't know what I think, Carmen, okay? 629 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:53,965 It's a lot for me to process, 630 00:24:53,967 --> 00:24:56,089 a lot of new information coming at me about my wife. 631 00:24:56,567 --> 00:24:57,726 It feels like just yesterday, 632 00:24:57,727 --> 00:24:59,795 I found out she even kissed a girl. 633 00:24:59,797 --> 00:25:01,387 Pretty much was yesterday. 634 00:25:09,053 --> 00:25:11,451 Uh... Well, look at that. 635 00:25:11,453 --> 00:25:13,695 - Yeah, I had no idea. - It's, uh, time for us to be 636 00:25:13,697 --> 00:25:16,241 anywhere else in the known universe. - It's -- Mm-hmm. 637 00:25:16,243 --> 00:25:17,238 The sitter -- we only had her 638 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,800 for like 45 minutes tonight. 639 00:25:18,802 --> 00:25:20,871 Okay. Okay. 640 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:23,861 You guys got to talk. 641 00:25:24,929 --> 00:25:26,219 You know? I mean, all three of you. 642 00:25:26,220 --> 00:25:29,290 Don't just let it gurgle around in there. 643 00:25:30,633 --> 00:25:31,597 Yeah, you're right. 644 00:25:31,599 --> 00:25:33,658 Okay. You're right. 645 00:25:33,660 --> 00:25:34,676 Okay. 646 00:25:35,005 --> 00:25:37,755 - Come on, let's go. - Okay. 647 00:25:38,126 --> 00:25:41,374 ♪ Well, I've known since the beat ♪ 648 00:25:41,376 --> 00:25:45,314 ♪ That I'm no measure in this song ♪ 649 00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:49,131 ♪ Just the rest ♪ 650 00:25:52,758 --> 00:25:55,894 ♪ Well, I've known since the beat ♪ 651 00:25:55,896 --> 00:25:59,533 ♪ That I'm no measure in this song ♪ 652 00:25:59,756 --> 00:26:03,825 ♪ Just the rest ♪ 653 00:26:03,827 --> 00:26:05,525 [Snoring] 654 00:26:07,883 --> 00:26:09,630 [Snoring] 655 00:26:13,083 --> 00:26:14,818 [Clears throat] 656 00:26:15,826 --> 00:26:17,025 Water. 657 00:26:17,814 --> 00:26:20,072 Dear God, why isn't there water? 658 00:26:21,816 --> 00:26:23,198 Maybe there was water, 659 00:26:23,384 --> 00:26:25,083 and karma took it away from you. 660 00:26:25,085 --> 00:26:26,131 Huh? 661 00:26:26,133 --> 00:26:27,806 What's that supposed to mean? 662 00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,161 Are you mad? 663 00:26:30,658 --> 00:26:32,126 Mad? 664 00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:33,305 Why would I be mad? 665 00:26:33,603 --> 00:26:35,956 Who doesn't love a spirited public cuckolding? 666 00:26:36,072 --> 00:26:37,607 Seriously? 667 00:26:38,202 --> 00:26:40,871 We asked you to join us. 668 00:26:41,361 --> 00:26:42,739 Right? 669 00:26:43,202 --> 00:26:45,744 [Snoring] 670 00:26:46,402 --> 00:26:48,990 Okay, on your side here, Snuffles. 671 00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:50,928 Mm. 672 00:26:51,483 --> 00:26:54,426 We just paid three 20-buck covers 673 00:26:54,428 --> 00:26:56,550 to share the ninth circle of hell 674 00:26:56,552 --> 00:26:59,320 with a bunch of sweaty, annoying hipsters. 675 00:26:59,607 --> 00:27:01,765 Now this one is laying between us 676 00:27:01,767 --> 00:27:04,265 snoring like an obese octogenarian. 677 00:27:04,764 --> 00:27:06,782 Am I the only one questioning our life choices right now? 678 00:27:06,783 --> 00:27:08,022 Okay, I hear you. 679 00:27:08,414 --> 00:27:09,906 But there is a small war 680 00:27:09,908 --> 00:27:11,653 going on inside my head right now. 681 00:27:12,257 --> 00:27:14,597 Can we possibly do this in the morning? 682 00:27:15,202 --> 00:27:16,755 Sure, why not? 683 00:27:16,757 --> 00:27:18,158 I love you. 684 00:27:18,642 --> 00:27:20,632 I'm sorry for being insensitive. 685 00:27:21,048 --> 00:27:23,905 Vodka got up in me before knew what was happening. 686 00:27:24,787 --> 00:27:26,035 Okay. 687 00:27:27,917 --> 00:27:29,385 I love you. 688 00:27:29,530 --> 00:27:31,397 You already said that. 689 00:27:32,457 --> 00:27:35,420 I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. 690 00:27:40,516 --> 00:27:42,699 - [Snores] - Jack. 691 00:27:42,701 --> 00:27:44,666 You have to say it back. 692 00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:48,190 I love you more. 693 00:27:48,191 --> 00:27:50,002 subtitle by peritta 694 00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:52,191 [Snores] 695 00:27:52,193 --> 00:27:55,263 ♪ But love is trippy like that ♪ 696 00:27:55,265 --> 00:27:58,601 ♪ Sometimes you think that you've got it ♪ 697 00:27:58,603 --> 00:28:03,942 ♪ Nobody's gonna trick you outta this one, baby ♪ 698 00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:07,687 ♪ But love will slip through your hands ♪ 699 00:28:07,754 --> 00:28:12,692 ♪ You never know how to hold it, control it ♪ 700 00:28:12,694 --> 00:28:16,765 ♪ You're gripping, it's tripping you up ♪ 700 00:28:17,305 --> 00:28:23,179 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org48968

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