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00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:17,647
The honorable Allen D.
and the former Mrs. Eastern.
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The honorable
William and Mrs. Breslow.
4
00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:25,620
The honorable Nelson
and Mrs. Winnie Mandela.
5
00:01:26,798 --> 00:01:32,236
Ladies and gentlemen, the President
of the United States and Mrs. Bush.
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Here's everybody on the list, Barb.
Everybody's here.
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Hi, Peter. They let you
out of the office early today.
8
00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:45,672
Jack, glad you could make it.
9
00:01:45,917 --> 00:01:49,512
Hi. Get rid of the beard.
I don't like that, too liberal.
10
00:01:49,721 --> 00:01:52,155
Hi, Frank. Trudy.
11
00:01:54,125 --> 00:01:57,094
Hi, Peter. Glad you could make it.
I like your suit.
12
00:01:58,263 --> 00:02:00,356
Everybody's here.
Commissioner.
13
00:02:00,565 --> 00:02:05,002
Thank you very much. Dr. Meinheimer,
I'm glad you could make it.
14
00:02:05,203 --> 00:02:07,671
I'm looking forward to
hearing your speech.
15
00:02:07,872 --> 00:02:12,775
I'm sure it's a wonderful,
well thought-out piece of work.
16
00:02:14,479 --> 00:02:17,073
Ah, here she is. Dear.
17
00:02:18,516 --> 00:02:21,349
Have you met Dr. Meinheimer formally?
18
00:02:23,254 --> 00:02:25,051
Thank you.
19
00:02:25,256 --> 00:02:28,692
Great Lady down!
Repeat, Great Lady down!
20
00:02:28,893 --> 00:02:32,056
- What happened?
- Easy, watch the table!
21
00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:33,230
Wait.
22
00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:38,827
- How are you, dear?
- I'm OK, I'm fine.
23
00:02:40,772 --> 00:02:44,037
Good. Please be seated.
24
00:02:44,242 --> 00:02:46,210
Welcome. I'm glad you could all come.
25
00:02:47,350 --> 00:02:51,753
I'm pleased that we have so many
distinguished guests tonight.
26
00:02:51,955 --> 00:02:54,389
This week we are celebrating
27
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,788
Law Enforcement Week
all across the country.
28
00:02:57,994 --> 00:03:00,861
So I'd like to turn the proceedings over
29
00:03:01,064 --> 00:03:03,464
to our own
Washington DC Police Commissioner,
30
00:03:03,633 --> 00:03:07,660
Captain Annabelle Brumford.
31
00:03:07,871 --> 00:03:11,329
I would like to introduce
a most distinguished American.
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00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:17,104
This week he is being honored
for his 1,000th drug dealer killed.
33
00:03:17,313 --> 00:03:22,615
Please welcome Lieutenant
Frank Drebin of Police Squad.
34
00:03:23,786 --> 00:03:26,755
In all honesty,
the last two I backed over with my car.
35
00:03:29,025 --> 00:03:31,550
Luckily, they were drug dealers.
36
00:03:31,761 --> 00:03:34,161
- Good.
- Excellent!
37
00:03:36,065 --> 00:03:38,659
Thank you, Commissioner Brumford.
38
00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:42,770
Now I'd like to call on my Chief of Staff,
Mr. John Sununu,
39
00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:45,304
to introduce some special guests.
40
00:03:45,508 --> 00:03:49,808
Thank you. Mr. President, tonight I'm
extremely proud to welcome
41
00:03:50,013 --> 00:03:53,039
our guests
from the nation's energy suppliers.
42
00:03:53,283 --> 00:03:55,274
First, representing the oil industry,
43
00:03:55,518 --> 00:03:59,921
head of the Society of Petroleum Industry
Leaders, better known as SPIL,
44
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,953
Mr. Terence Baggett.
45
00:04:03,226 --> 00:04:07,492
From the coal industry, Chairman of
the Society for More Coal Energy,
46
00:04:07,697 --> 00:04:10,564
or SMOKE,
Mr. Donald Fenzwick.
47
00:04:10,733 --> 00:04:11,927
Thank you.
48
00:04:12,135 --> 00:04:13,966
From the nuclear industry,
49
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:18,129
President of the Key Atomic
Benefits Office Of Mankind, KABOOM,
50
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,242
Mr. Arthur Dunwell.
51
00:04:21,444 --> 00:04:23,912
As you know, for the past three years,
52
00:04:24,147 --> 00:04:27,878
this administration has been trying to
formulate a National Energy Policy
53
00:04:28,117 --> 00:04:31,211
that will have a lasting impact
on the way we live
54
00:04:31,454 --> 00:04:33,888
for the next decade and beyond.
55
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:36,684
To make sure
that we choose the right path,
56
00:04:36,893 --> 00:04:41,956
the President has appointed
as his top advisor in this area,
57
00:04:42,165 --> 00:04:44,633
Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.
58
00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:53,168
As I'm sure you're aware,
his reputation in this field is without peer,
59
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:56,641
and Dr. Meinheimer
will present his recommendations
60
00:04:56,846 --> 00:05:00,612
to the Annual National Press Club
Dinner this Tuesday evening.
61
00:05:05,021 --> 00:05:06,454
Mr. President.
62
00:05:09,659 --> 00:05:13,720
I want all of you here
to be the first to know
63
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:19,368
that I've decided to base my
administration's entire energy policy
64
00:05:19,535 --> 00:05:22,129
on Dr. Meinheimer's recommendations.
65
00:05:23,206 --> 00:05:27,666
This issue is too important to be left to
politicians or special interests to decide.
66
00:05:27,877 --> 00:05:32,576
We need an independent and informed
source on which to base future actions,
67
00:05:32,782 --> 00:05:36,843
and Dr. Meinheimer
is the recognized expert in this field.
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00:05:37,086 --> 00:05:41,887
Mr. President, if I may say so,
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00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:46,118
I do hope that Dr. Meinheimer
won't be influenced...
70
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:51,256
...influenced by any of the so-called
environmental groups.
71
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:54,267
Well, we're all aware of
Dr. Meinheimer's reputation.
72
00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:58,236
He is best qualified
to explain his research methods.
73
00:06:00,310 --> 00:06:02,608
- Dr. Meinheimer.
- Great Lady down again.
74
00:07:50,253 --> 00:07:53,188
This happens every fucking time
when I go shopping!
75
00:08:39,135 --> 00:08:42,332
- Jane...
- Dr. Meinheimer.
76
00:08:43,172 --> 00:08:47,233
- You're back early.
- And you're here late.
77
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:49,502
Surely, a lovely woman like you
78
00:08:49,712 --> 00:08:53,375
can think of something better to do
on a Saturday night?
79
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:57,416
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt.
80
00:08:58,454 --> 00:09:01,389
It's all right, Doctor. It's OK.
81
00:09:02,558 --> 00:09:06,654
You're thinking about him again,
aren't you? What was his name?
82
00:09:06,863 --> 00:09:09,457
- Frank?
- Yes.
83
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,862
You just can't forget about him?
84
00:09:12,068 --> 00:09:14,559
- Who?
- Frank.
85
00:09:15,404 --> 00:09:16,598
Oh, yes!
86
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:20,401
No, I can't. I... I try.
87
00:09:20,610 --> 00:09:25,013
It's just that when you've had
that much man...
88
00:09:26,749 --> 00:09:29,877
But then, you wouldn't understand.
89
00:09:32,088 --> 00:09:36,218
Jane, you mustn't be
so hard on yourself.
90
00:09:36,425 --> 00:09:39,588
You've done a wonderful job
here at the Institute.
91
00:09:39,795 --> 00:09:43,094
You're the finest Director of
Public Relations we've ever had.
92
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:46,167
Thank you, Doctor, I try my best.
93
00:09:46,769 --> 00:09:50,296
But I see you here
night after night past ten.
94
00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:56,308
You must forget about the past.
Go out, see new people, enjoy yourself.
95
00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:59,003
There is someone I'm seeing,
in fact just yesterday.
96
00:09:59,215 --> 00:10:01,775
I was telling him about the speech...
97
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:05,283
- Good evening.
- Hello, Norm.
98
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:09,290
I forgot.
How was the White House dinner?
99
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:14,292
Extraordinary. The President promised
to implement my recommendations.
100
00:10:14,497 --> 00:10:17,466
Wonderful! Then you're going to deliver
the speech you told me about?
101
00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:21,296
Every word of it.
I would've given it tonight,
102
00:10:21,504 --> 00:10:25,031
but a guest there made such a ruckus
that they wouldn't have heard me.
103
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:29,509
Hey, Al! Ken!
Look at this.
104
00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:32,340
I found this in the waste-basket.
105
00:10:34,483 --> 00:10:37,884
Hey, that's a pretty nice clock!
106
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,055
I wonder why they threw it out.
107
00:10:41,290 --> 00:10:45,886
It's probably because it's
four minutes too slow. Let me fix it.
108
00:10:47,129 --> 00:10:48,329
There.
109
00:10:54,170 --> 00:10:57,731
My name is Sergeant Frank Drebin,Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.
110
00:10:57,940 --> 00:11:02,468
I was getting my car washed whenI heard the call come over the scanner.
111
00:11:02,678 --> 00:11:06,705
There had been a bombing and I wason my way to advise the DC Police
112
00:11:06,949 --> 00:11:10,715
as part of the President's"Operation Scum Roundup".
113
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,980
- Ready?
- Yeah, got it.
114
00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:17,715
As far as police work is concerned,once in a while something comes up
115
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,555
that nothing quite prepares you for.
116
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,665
Somehow, a demented madman,probably full of self-hate,
117
00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:29,771
and possibly a couple of monthsbehind in his rent, finally snapped.
118
00:11:31,807 --> 00:11:35,140
- I'm glad you could make it.
- I got here as quickly as I could.
119
00:11:35,344 --> 00:11:38,074
Congratulations, I understand
that Edna's pregnant again.
120
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,908
- Yes, and if I catch the guy who did it...
- Captain.
121
00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:44,950
They've searched the building.
No sign of a break-in, no money missing.
122
00:11:45,154 --> 00:11:47,588
This was one hell of an explosion.
123
00:11:47,823 --> 00:11:50,291
We're still trying to figure out
what they used.
124
00:11:50,526 --> 00:11:53,586
- Any other victims?
- You're standing on one right now.
125
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,060
- Oh, I see...
- Get him out of here.
126
00:11:56,232 --> 00:12:02,034
- This one's a real mess.
- Over here, Frank found another one.
127
00:12:02,238 --> 00:12:05,969
- Any witnesses, Ed?
- Well, there's one. A woman.
128
00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:09,008
She saw a man leaving
just before the explosion.
129
00:12:09,211 --> 00:12:13,011
- We should let Nordberg handle it.
- No, I'd better do it while it's still fresh.
130
00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:15,683
Not now. She fainted dead away.
131
00:12:15,885 --> 00:12:19,252
She took a knock on the head.
She looks pretty bad.
132
00:12:19,455 --> 00:12:21,286
- I'll handle it.
- Sir...
133
00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:25,927
- Miss, I'd like to ask some questions.
- Not that bad.
134
00:12:26,128 --> 00:12:29,359
She's being questioned
by our sketch artist.
135
00:12:33,602 --> 00:12:36,867
I couldn't believe it was her.It was like a dream.
136
00:12:37,073 --> 00:12:40,804
But there she was,just like I remembered her.
137
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,911
That delicately beautiful face...
138
00:12:44,747 --> 00:12:49,844
... and a body that could melt acheese sandwich from across the room.
139
00:12:50,086 --> 00:12:54,489
And breasts that seem to say,"Hey, look at these!"
140
00:12:58,094 --> 00:13:00,562
She made you drop to your knees
141
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:05,200
and thank Godthat you were a man. Yeah...
142
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:10,031
She reminded me of my mother,all right. No doubt about it.
143
00:13:11,273 --> 00:13:16,040
Snap out of it. You're looking at her
like she was your mother.
144
00:13:23,853 --> 00:13:29,382
- Frank.
- Jane. I didn't know you lived here.
145
00:13:29,592 --> 00:13:32,186
I moved here two years ago.
146
00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:37,065
- How are the children?
- We didn't have any children.
147
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,962
Yes, of course.
148
00:13:39,168 --> 00:13:42,660
- How was your prostate operation?
- Fine. As good as new.
149
00:13:42,872 --> 00:13:45,204
In fact, better than ever.
150
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:47,136
Look, Frank...
151
00:13:47,343 --> 00:13:51,575
I know it's awkward, but you're not still
obsessed with our relationship, are you?
152
00:13:51,781 --> 00:13:54,113
Obsessed? Who's obsessed?
153
00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:57,683
Because you backed out of the wedding
two years ago? I'd forgotten.
154
00:13:57,887 --> 00:14:00,528
Ancient history,
like the Democratic Party.
155
00:14:00,762 --> 00:14:03,757
He was in tears.
In church, crying like a baby.
156
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:06,484
- Get a hold of yourself!
- I had to return 13 Cuisinarts.
157
00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:09,220
- That's enough.
- I kept the salad shooter, though.
158
00:14:09,398 --> 00:14:12,697
Jane, there you are. Hello, Jane.
159
00:14:12,902 --> 00:14:16,565
Dr. Meinheimer.
Frank, this is Dr. Albert Meinheimer.
160
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:20,105
- Don't get up. Nice to meet you.
- Likewise, I'm sure.
161
00:14:20,309 --> 00:14:23,073
I believe we met
at the White House dinner.
162
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,737
He never forgets a face.
He has a photographic memory.
163
00:14:26,949 --> 00:14:31,010
It's a terrible thing that's happened.
I hope you find the people responsible.
164
00:14:31,253 --> 00:14:35,349
I'm sorry I can't be more optimistic,
but we have a long road ahead of us.
165
00:14:35,558 --> 00:14:40,052
It's like sex, a painstaking task
that seems to go on and on forever,
166
00:14:40,262 --> 00:14:43,754
and when you think that things are
going your way, nothing happens.
167
00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:48,370
Jane, about this man
you saw last night... Anything can help.
168
00:14:48,571 --> 00:14:51,631
I gave the sketch artist a description.
169
00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:58,776
Eh... Ed!
That'll be all, McTigue.
170
00:15:01,116 --> 00:15:05,314
We should get that other artist. The one
that never dates and lives with two guys.
171
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:07,146
Right. Sorenson!
172
00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:11,291
I'd like to see the rest of the Institute,
if you don't mind?
173
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,018
Of course.
We should start with the research area.
174
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:17,290
That's a good idea. It's right this way.
175
00:15:19,101 --> 00:15:22,161
What can you tell me
about the man you saw last night?
176
00:15:22,371 --> 00:15:24,362
- He's Caucasian.
- Caucasian?
177
00:15:24,573 --> 00:15:28,805
Yeah. You know, white guy.
With a moustache, about 6 foot 3.
178
00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:31,639
An awfully big moustache.
What's this all about?
179
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,179
This is our research laboratory.
180
00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:39,319
Experiments are temperature-controlled
by the machinery below.
181
00:15:39,521 --> 00:15:44,185
Our scientists have spent years on them
and are just now making breakthroughs.
182
00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:46,725
Today, we'll join two compounds...
183
00:15:51,333 --> 00:15:52,766
Oh, my God!
184
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:56,335
Thank heavens the bomb
didn't damage the research area.
185
00:15:56,538 --> 00:15:59,803
Yes, but I can't understand
who'd do such a thing.
186
00:16:00,009 --> 00:16:02,569
Jane, I think you
ought to know something.
187
00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:05,144
- Jane, darling!
- Quentin!
188
00:16:05,347 --> 00:16:09,340
Jane, are you all right?
I was so worried about you.
189
00:16:09,585 --> 00:16:13,021
I'm really OK, but I'm glad you're here.
190
00:16:14,590 --> 00:16:18,617
I'm sorry! Frank, this is Quentin
Hapsburg of the Hexagon Oil Company.
191
00:16:18,827 --> 00:16:22,319
- Pleased to meet you, Mr...
- Drebin. Frank Drebin.
192
00:16:22,531 --> 00:16:25,728
I believe I've used
some of your restrooms.
193
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,563
I'm... sure you have.
194
00:16:28,771 --> 00:16:32,537
- Are you connected with the Institute?
- Not officially.
195
00:16:32,741 --> 00:16:36,233
But Jane and I have seen
quite a lot of each other lately.
196
00:16:36,445 --> 00:16:38,709
How is my little hell-cat?
197
00:16:40,716 --> 00:16:44,812
Well, that's great. I've been dating, too.
Nice girl, an author.
198
00:16:45,054 --> 00:16:48,285
Wrote the book on male sexual
dysfunction. You've probably read it.
199
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:50,617
- I beg your pardon?
- Please...
200
00:16:50,826 --> 00:16:53,260
I'm sure we can
handle the situation maturely,
201
00:16:53,462 --> 00:16:55,930
just like the responsible adults
that we are.
202
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,931
Isn't that right, Mr. Poopy Pants?
203
00:16:59,134 --> 00:17:00,829
- That does it!
- Frank!
204
00:17:01,036 --> 00:17:03,869
Quentin, maybe you should excuse us.
205
00:17:04,073 --> 00:17:07,201
Anything you wish, my darling.
206
00:17:08,177 --> 00:17:10,668
Until tonight, then...
207
00:17:29,665 --> 00:17:34,265
I'm feeling blue
208
00:17:37,506 --> 00:17:42,906
Just thinking of you
209
00:17:43,712 --> 00:17:48,031
I get out of bed
210
00:17:48,131 --> 00:17:52,250
Wish I was dead
211
00:17:54,289 --> 00:18:00,089
And I hope you do, too
212
00:18:00,796 --> 00:18:08,134
So I've given upI've thrown in the towel
213
00:18:09,138 --> 00:18:11,698
I've taken all the pills
214
00:18:11,907 --> 00:18:16,907
The law will allow
215
00:18:17,646 --> 00:18:20,843
And so I'm feeling blue
216
00:18:21,083 --> 00:18:25,986
- Sir?
- Give me the strongest thing you've got.
217
00:18:30,459 --> 00:18:34,327
- On second thoughts, a Black Russian.
- Very well, sir.
218
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:39,130
I guess I'm just
219
00:18:39,868 --> 00:18:42,668
Screwed
220
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,936
Frank. I thought I'd find you here.
221
00:18:48,143 --> 00:18:51,635
Ed, sit down.
Pull up a memory or two.
222
00:18:51,847 --> 00:18:54,680
You left before I could talk to you.
223
00:18:54,917 --> 00:19:00,446
Is it just my imagination
or is the whole world crazy?
224
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:04,056
No, it's just a small percentage
of the population, Frank.
225
00:19:04,259 --> 00:19:10,664
I hope you're right. It's just that
I don't know if I fit in any more.
226
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:14,360
You're still thinking about Jane,
aren't you?
227
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:18,438
She's part of my life, Ed. Always will be.
228
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,700
I think about her constantly.
But it's done.
229
00:19:21,910 --> 00:19:26,506
When she said, "Get out of my life
forever," I knew it was over.
230
00:19:26,715 --> 00:19:29,650
Sometimes I think about you and Edna,
and I envy you,
231
00:19:29,852 --> 00:19:35,518
because you've had the same person
every day for over 30 years.
232
00:19:35,724 --> 00:19:39,023
You wake up with her,
eat with her, sleep with her...
233
00:19:39,228 --> 00:19:42,095
You make love to the same woman.
234
00:19:42,297 --> 00:19:47,132
You spend every possible
waking moment together,
235
00:19:47,302 --> 00:19:52,433
while I'm out with 20-year-olds who
just want to have fun and cheap sex.
236
00:19:52,641 --> 00:19:55,303
Girls who can't say no,
who can't get enough.
237
00:19:55,511 --> 00:20:00,107
"More, more, more! It's your turn now
to wear the handcuffs."
238
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:07,621
I just want to love, Ed.
239
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:10,073
I'm sure you'll find love.
240
00:20:10,173 --> 00:20:13,492
- I already have one.
- It's from the lady.
241
00:20:19,368 --> 00:20:23,270
Go to her, Frank. Go on!
242
00:20:24,206 --> 00:20:26,800
I'll see you in the morning.
243
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:32,170
- Excuse me.
- Pardon me.
244
00:20:33,749 --> 00:20:34,943
Sorry.
245
00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:39,652
This isn't easy to say.
246
00:20:39,855 --> 00:20:42,790
I'm lonely, I'm lost.
I need someone to hold, to love.
247
00:20:43,025 --> 00:20:44,225
Frank!
248
00:20:46,061 --> 00:20:47,926
Over here.
249
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,328
Well...
250
00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:58,333
- What are you doing here?
- I called your hotel, got no answer.
251
00:20:58,540 --> 00:21:02,499
Then I tried the station house.
I thought maybe you'd be here.
252
00:21:03,712 --> 00:21:08,149
- Good evening, Sam.
- Mr. Drebin. Jane.
253
00:21:08,383 --> 00:21:11,477
Always nice to see nice people.
254
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:16,157
Sam, play our song.
Just one more time.
255
00:21:16,391 --> 00:21:18,391
Of course.
256
00:21:20,896 --> 00:21:25,731
Ding dong, the witch is deadWhich old witch? The wicked witch...
257
00:21:25,901 --> 00:21:30,770
Sam. That's enough.
Play the other one, please.
258
00:21:30,973 --> 00:21:33,965
You can't let old hurts die, can you?
259
00:21:34,176 --> 00:21:36,610
You walk out of my life,
no explanation...
260
00:21:36,812 --> 00:21:39,872
- Didn't you get the letters?
- Every one of them.
261
00:21:40,082 --> 00:21:42,812
I didn't open them.
I tore them up and threw them in the fire.
262
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:48,045
So you didn't get the cheque for $75,000
that your uncle left you in his will?
263
00:21:48,290 --> 00:21:50,383
Why are you here?
264
00:21:50,592 --> 00:21:52,406
I remembered something
about the crime.
265
00:21:52,706 --> 00:21:56,198
Outside the window, I saw
a red van parked across the street.
266
00:21:56,765 --> 00:21:59,495
Red van?
Thank you, that'll be very helpful.
267
00:21:59,701 --> 00:22:02,169
You've said your piece,
you can go now, right?
268
00:22:02,371 --> 00:22:04,965
That's not my only reason
for being here.
269
00:22:05,173 --> 00:22:08,301
- I want us to be friends.
- Sure, friends...
270
00:22:08,510 --> 00:22:12,173
I bet if I dusted you for prints,
they'd be your lover Quentin's.
271
00:22:12,381 --> 00:22:13,381
You!
272
00:22:14,149 --> 00:22:17,209
I see a certain kitten
still knows how to scratch.
273
00:22:25,227 --> 00:22:28,287
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that.
274
00:22:31,199 --> 00:22:34,828
We're no good together.
All you ever lived for was police work.
275
00:22:35,037 --> 00:22:37,733
You were always busy
saving the "end zone" layer.
276
00:22:37,939 --> 00:22:41,534
Ozone layer!
Frank, you never tried to understand.
277
00:22:41,743 --> 00:22:43,870
How can you say that,
278
00:22:44,079 --> 00:22:48,379
when I sank every penny into buying
1,000 acres of Brazilian rainforest.
279
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:51,505
Then I had it slashed
so we could build our dream house.
280
00:22:51,820 --> 00:22:53,879
Frank! How could you be so insensitive?
281
00:22:54,122 --> 00:22:58,183
Insensitive? You think it's easy
displacing an entire tribe?
282
00:22:58,393 --> 00:23:03,092
- You try it sometime.
- I'd better go. This was a mistake.
283
00:23:03,265 --> 00:23:07,565
I don't know why I came here.
I was hoping that you'd have someone.
284
00:23:08,337 --> 00:23:11,966
I'm single. I love being single!
285
00:23:13,308 --> 00:23:17,745
I haven't had this much sex
since I was a boy scout leader!
286
00:23:20,716 --> 00:23:25,119
I mean, at the time,
I was dating a lot.
287
00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:39,824
- I told you the bombing wouldn't work.
- We had no choice.
288
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:41,001
Look at this headline.
289
00:23:42,170 --> 00:23:45,731
"President to give Meinheimer
blank cheque at Press Club Dinner."
290
00:23:45,941 --> 00:23:48,068
That speech is in two days.
291
00:23:48,276 --> 00:23:51,109
- Don't you think I know that?
- We all know that.
292
00:23:51,313 --> 00:23:53,679
Gentlemen, gentlemen...
293
00:23:55,050 --> 00:23:58,383
I know that you're all worried,
and I agree.
294
00:23:58,587 --> 00:24:01,283
There's plenty to be worried about.
295
00:24:01,490 --> 00:24:07,326
Like this solar power plant, already
operational outside Los Angeles.
296
00:24:07,529 --> 00:24:09,622
Photovoltaic cells.
297
00:24:09,798 --> 00:24:13,734
They convert sunlight
directly into electricity.
298
00:24:13,935 --> 00:24:17,769
Fluorescents. Last ten times as long
as a conventional light-bulb.
299
00:24:17,973 --> 00:24:20,168
Uses only a quarter of the power.
300
00:24:20,375 --> 00:24:25,142
Superwindows. They insulate
as well as ten sheets of glass.
301
00:24:25,347 --> 00:24:30,284
An electric car,
partially powered by solar panels.
302
00:24:30,519 --> 00:24:33,249
But the truth is, gentlemen,
303
00:24:33,455 --> 00:24:36,891
that I'm not worried about
any of these things.
304
00:24:37,125 --> 00:24:41,494
Because no one is ever
going to know about them.
305
00:24:41,696 --> 00:24:45,723
- What about Meinheimer and his report?
- He's going to tell the President.
306
00:24:45,901 --> 00:24:49,803
Good question.
Why don't we just ask him?
307
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,638
- That's kidnapping!
- Good heavens!
308
00:24:54,843 --> 00:25:00,042
- What about his speech on Tuesday?
- Dr. Meinheimer will deliver his speech.
309
00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:05,914
It is my view that we must rely on
coal, oil and nuclear energy.
310
00:25:06,154 --> 00:25:08,588
Our Dr. Meinheimer.
311
00:25:08,824 --> 00:25:11,372
- Oh, my God!
- That's incredible!
312
00:25:11,472 --> 00:25:15,692
Meet Earl Hacker,
former arts consultant to Jesse Helms.
313
00:25:17,999 --> 00:25:23,835
As I explained to Mr. Hapsburg,
my fee is one million dollars,
314
00:25:24,039 --> 00:25:28,567
and, might I add,
I'm worth every penny of it.
315
00:25:28,777 --> 00:25:32,269
But you gentlemen
don't have any choice.
316
00:25:35,584 --> 00:25:36,984
Do you?
317
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:50,288
After a good night's sleep,I headed back to police headquarters.
318
00:25:50,465 --> 00:25:53,127
I figured that if I buried myselfin police work,
319
00:25:53,335 --> 00:25:56,327
I could forget about Janeand maybe in the process
320
00:25:56,538 --> 00:25:58,938
catch a vicious killerbefore he struck again.
321
00:25:59,140 --> 00:26:02,837
So far we had few cluesand no real leads.
322
00:26:03,044 --> 00:26:06,207
I was hoping that the lab boyshad come up with something.
323
00:26:06,414 --> 00:26:07,608
Shut it off!
324
00:26:07,849 --> 00:26:11,080
- Take it easy.
- Say your prayers.
325
00:26:12,888 --> 00:26:14,515
- Nice work.
- What?
326
00:26:14,723 --> 00:26:18,124
Can you show us the results
from the Research Institute?
327
00:26:18,326 --> 00:26:20,294
We weren't able to get
any clean fingerprints,
328
00:26:21,496 --> 00:26:24,624
but we did find footprints
outside the Institute.
329
00:26:24,799 --> 00:26:28,599
We made plaster casts of them.
A size 91/2 D.
330
00:26:28,803 --> 00:26:31,829
We're running a trace on it.
But more interesting...
331
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,907
We also found this dinosaur footprint.
332
00:26:35,110 --> 00:26:39,137
- A major find from the Paleolithic era.
- Anything else?
333
00:26:39,347 --> 00:26:44,683
Yes, 20 feet down we discovered
ancient timbers from Noah's Ark.
334
00:26:44,886 --> 00:26:46,547
About the case...
335
00:26:46,788 --> 00:26:49,916
I'll be leaving for Boston tomorrow
where I'll deliver a major address
336
00:26:50,125 --> 00:26:54,619
to the American Archaeological Society.
And I'm booked on Geraldo next week.
337
00:26:54,829 --> 00:26:57,889
You're going on Geraldo
because of this?
338
00:26:58,066 --> 00:27:00,933
No, my wife is a transsexual
Satan worshipper.
339
00:27:01,136 --> 00:27:04,003
Meanwhile, we'll be continuing
fingerprint analysis,
340
00:27:04,205 --> 00:27:07,697
fiber checks,
DNA breakdown and hair samples.
341
00:27:07,909 --> 00:27:11,174
Then, using the microscopic dirt particles
on this footprint,
342
00:27:11,379 --> 00:27:14,439
we'll get a geological breakdown
of the entire city.
343
00:27:14,683 --> 00:27:18,585
- We may not have that kind of time.
- Then maybe this will help.
344
00:27:19,854 --> 00:27:23,483
We found this wallet
on the curb outside the Institute.
345
00:27:23,692 --> 00:27:28,891
We haven't examined it thoroughly.
It just came down from the lab.
346
00:27:29,064 --> 00:27:34,696
"Hector Savage". From Detroit.
I remember this pug.
347
00:27:34,903 --> 00:27:37,895
Ex-boxer.
His real name was Joey Chicago.
348
00:27:38,106 --> 00:27:41,200
Yeah. He fought
under the name of Kid Minneapolis.
349
00:27:41,409 --> 00:27:44,469
I saw Kid Minneapolis fight once,
in Cincinnati.
350
00:27:44,679 --> 00:27:47,147
No, that's Kid New York.
He fought out of Philly.
351
00:27:47,349 --> 00:27:50,512
He was killed in the ring in Houston
by Tex Colorado.
352
00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:53,687
- The Arizona Assassin.
- Yeah, from Dakota.
353
00:27:53,888 --> 00:27:55,947
- Was it North or South?
- North.
354
00:27:56,191 --> 00:27:59,058
South Dakota was his brother.
From West Virginia.
355
00:27:59,194 --> 00:28:01,287
You sure know your boxing.
356
00:28:01,496 --> 00:28:03,464
All I know is:
never bet on the white guy.
357
00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:08,467
- You've got an address?
- The card says, "Monique De Carlo".
358
00:28:08,670 --> 00:28:11,298
"210 Bleckman Street."
359
00:28:11,506 --> 00:28:16,307
That's the red-light district. I wonder
why Savage is hanging out down there.
360
00:28:16,511 --> 00:28:18,445
Sex, Frank?
361
00:28:19,681 --> 00:28:23,617
No, not right now, Ed.
We've got work to do.
362
00:28:25,987 --> 00:28:31,015
The address we had for De Carlowas in the city's Little Italy.
363
00:28:31,226 --> 00:28:35,629
We went there, hoping it wouldlead us to Hector Savage
364
00:28:35,830 --> 00:28:39,891
and lead us to a cluethat would break the case wide open.
365
00:28:42,604 --> 00:28:45,266
That's the cops.
You've got to get rid of them.
366
00:28:45,473 --> 00:28:49,603
All right, I'll handle it.
Quick, hide in the basement.
367
00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:52,405
You'll be safe down there.
368
00:28:54,249 --> 00:28:56,114
- Ed.
- Frank.
369
00:28:56,317 --> 00:28:57,978
- Red van.
- Yes, I know.
370
00:28:58,219 --> 00:29:02,519
Jane said that she saw a red van
outside the Institute before the explosion.
371
00:29:02,724 --> 00:29:05,989
- Let's take him down.
- No, he's not working alone.
372
00:29:06,194 --> 00:29:09,027
- Bug the van. See where it goes.
- Good thinking.
373
00:29:09,230 --> 00:29:11,596
- Nordberg!
- No problem.
374
00:29:15,136 --> 00:29:18,970
Lieutenant Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
This is my Captain, Ed Hocken.
375
00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:23,042
- Is this some kind of bust?
- It's very impressive, yes...
376
00:29:23,244 --> 00:29:26,111
But we need to ask you
a few questions.
377
00:29:33,088 --> 00:29:38,185
Listen. We're looking for
Hector Savage. Where is he?
378
00:29:38,393 --> 00:29:40,486
Why should I tell you?
379
00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:43,630
Because I'm the last line of defense
between sleaze like this
380
00:29:43,798 --> 00:29:46,494
and the decent people in this town.
381
00:29:46,701 --> 00:29:53,106
Hi, Frank. We got that D-83 Swedish
Sure-Grip Suck Machine you ordered.
382
00:29:54,542 --> 00:29:56,009
It's a gift.
383
00:30:13,328 --> 00:30:18,231
Frank, come here. Quick!
It's Savage. He's on the move.
384
00:30:22,036 --> 00:30:24,036
What? Hey!
385
00:30:24,506 --> 00:30:28,306
Hey! Stop, stop! I'm a police officer!
386
00:30:29,711 --> 00:30:33,238
Let's go. But remember,
we can't let him spot us.
387
00:30:34,082 --> 00:30:35,743
Pull over!
388
00:30:37,819 --> 00:30:40,811
Nordberg's bugging device
is right on the money.
389
00:30:41,055 --> 00:30:43,489
I'm not kidding! Stop!
390
00:30:45,727 --> 00:30:46,727
Shit!
391
00:30:48,696 --> 00:30:51,028
He's changing direction. Stop the car.
392
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:53,200
Oh, no!
393
00:30:54,135 --> 00:30:56,695
- He's getting closer.
- We should see him any minute.
394
00:30:56,905 --> 00:30:58,304
Keep your eyes peeled.
395
00:30:58,506 --> 00:30:59,906
Oh, no!
396
00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:03,210
Look, he's real close now.
397
00:31:05,413 --> 00:31:07,506
Step on it!
398
00:31:07,749 --> 00:31:10,650
Help! Stop, stop!
399
00:31:27,602 --> 00:31:29,934
Frank, stop!
400
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:34,438
Stop right now! I've had it!
I said stop!
401
00:31:44,953 --> 00:31:45,953
Help!
402
00:31:48,556 --> 00:31:50,717
Drebin, Police Squad.
What do we have?
403
00:31:50,925 --> 00:31:54,520
It's a tense situation.
Savage is holed up in that house.
404
00:31:54,729 --> 00:31:58,495
- Says he's got hostages.
- He could be bluffing. Anything else?
405
00:31:58,666 --> 00:32:04,195
Yeah. That red van is registered
to one Quentin Hapsburg.
406
00:32:06,407 --> 00:32:11,276
Well, it looks like the cows
have come home to roost.
407
00:32:11,479 --> 00:32:13,504
How are you doing, trooper?
408
00:32:17,952 --> 00:32:18,952
Hey, stop firing!
409
00:32:20,154 --> 00:32:22,588
Hold it! Stop firing!
410
00:32:25,526 --> 00:32:30,122
Stop firing! Stop firing!
411
00:32:31,165 --> 00:32:34,532
All right, give me the bullhorn.
412
00:32:34,736 --> 00:32:37,034
This is Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
413
00:32:37,238 --> 00:32:41,504
Throw down your guns
and come out with your hands up,
414
00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:45,941
or come on out, then throw down
your guns, whichever you want.
415
00:32:46,147 --> 00:32:48,240
Remember the two key elements:
416
00:32:48,483 --> 00:32:52,783
One, guns to be thrown down.
Two, come on out.
417
00:32:52,987 --> 00:32:58,118
You just try and take me, Drebin!
I've got more if you want them, copper!
418
00:32:58,326 --> 00:33:01,784
- Looks like he's holding all the cards.
- Not all the cards.
419
00:33:01,996 --> 00:33:03,327
How about it?
420
00:33:03,498 --> 00:33:06,296
You can't drive that tank!
You're not checked-out on it!
421
00:33:06,501 --> 00:33:09,527
Don't worry, Ed!
Just keep him busy.
422
00:33:10,338 --> 00:33:12,704
All right, what do you want?
423
00:33:12,907 --> 00:33:16,809
I want a car out front.
Something fun. A Porsche.
424
00:33:17,011 --> 00:33:19,863
Then I want a plane ticket to Jamaica.
And I want a nice hotel.
425
00:33:19,963 --> 00:33:22,486
No touristy place.
426
00:33:23,193 --> 00:33:25,871
Something indicative of
the people and their culture.
427
00:33:26,042 --> 00:33:29,598
We can't do that.
We're calling your bluff.
428
00:33:29,791 --> 00:33:32,624
Now put your hands on top of your headand come out.
429
00:33:32,827 --> 00:33:37,523
We've got you surroundedfront and... hey!
430
00:33:37,632 --> 00:33:42,569
Frank, what are you doing?Where are you going? Frank!
431
00:34:21,676 --> 00:34:25,476
Frank! Help!
432
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:46,725
- Your coat, sir?
- Yes, it is.
433
00:34:46,934 --> 00:34:49,835
And I have a receipt to prove it.
434
00:34:50,038 --> 00:34:53,030
- Telephone call, Commissioner.
- Thank you.
435
00:34:53,241 --> 00:34:55,241
Excuse me.
436
00:34:56,577 --> 00:34:57,577
Yes?
437
00:34:59,280 --> 00:35:01,680
He did what?
438
00:35:01,949 --> 00:35:05,544
How many animals escaped?
Oh, my God!
439
00:35:05,787 --> 00:35:09,689
Good evening, Commissioner.
You're looking lovely tonight.
440
00:35:09,924 --> 00:35:14,725
Do you realize that because of you
this city is being overrun by baboons?
441
00:35:14,929 --> 00:35:17,955
Well, isn't that the fault of the voters?
442
00:35:18,733 --> 00:35:20,724
Excuse me.
443
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:31,203
Thank you all for attending this
event in honor of Dr. Meinheimer,
444
00:35:31,412 --> 00:35:35,109
who tomorrow
will make his historic address.
445
00:35:39,687 --> 00:35:44,386
Along with the President, I pledge
to support his recommendations,
446
00:35:44,592 --> 00:35:47,254
whatever they may be.
447
00:35:54,302 --> 00:35:56,270
And now, please enjoy the evening.
448
00:35:57,472 --> 00:35:59,838
I'll see you later.
449
00:36:13,654 --> 00:36:15,645
May I cut in?
450
00:36:15,890 --> 00:36:18,518
- What are you doing here?
- I enjoy a good party.
451
00:36:18,726 --> 00:36:22,594
- Why are you really here?
- I can sum that up in three words:
452
00:36:22,797 --> 00:36:27,530
"Quentin Hapsburg." I never liked him
from the moment I laid eyes on him.
453
00:36:27,702 --> 00:36:30,432
The man is as dirty
as a coalminer's underwear in January.
454
00:36:30,638 --> 00:36:34,369
What's gotten into you?
He's a kind, gentle, concerned man,
455
00:36:34,575 --> 00:36:39,672
who cares about people and is not
as suspicious as some people I know.
456
00:36:39,881 --> 00:36:43,874
Ask him what his connection is with the
van you saw the night of the explosion.
457
00:36:44,118 --> 00:36:46,173
I don't know what you're talking about.
458
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,864
Ask him if he's pals with
a two-bit goon named Hector Savage.
459
00:36:51,250 --> 00:36:54,441
Stop it! You're just jealous
because another man can give me
460
00:36:54,762 --> 00:36:57,060
the understanding that you never could.
461
00:36:57,231 --> 00:37:01,930
I just hope Quentin is watching
right now, because he'll be jealous.
462
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:05,902
And a jealous man
always makes the wrong move.
463
00:37:06,107 --> 00:37:08,337
I'm counting on that!
464
00:37:45,379 --> 00:37:50,544
Mr. Drebin, Mr. Hapsburg
would like you to join him at his table.
465
00:37:58,459 --> 00:38:03,055
- Solitaire is a lonely man's game.
- Lieutenant!
466
00:38:04,632 --> 00:38:08,261
I don't recall seeing your name
on the guest list.
467
00:38:08,469 --> 00:38:13,634
Nothing to be embarrassed about.
I sometimes go by my maiden name.
468
00:38:14,742 --> 00:38:18,542
Nice party.
I see a lot of familiar face-lifts.
469
00:38:20,815 --> 00:38:25,548
- Do you gamble, Lieutenant?
- Every time I order out.
470
00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:29,747
Que sera, sera...
471
00:38:29,991 --> 00:38:33,654
- You do speak French, don't you?
- Unfortunately, no.
472
00:38:33,861 --> 00:38:36,921
But I do kiss that way.
473
00:38:37,098 --> 00:38:39,623
Excuse me!
You happen to be standing in my place.
474
00:38:39,834 --> 00:38:42,200
Dr. Meinheimer, you remember Frank?
475
00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:47,306
- Uh... Mister...
- Drebin, from Police Squad.
476
00:38:47,508 --> 00:38:52,605
- You met him at the Institute.
- Yes, of course! Do sit down.
477
00:38:52,813 --> 00:38:55,281
Thank you, I don't intend to stay.
478
00:38:55,516 --> 00:38:58,542
Let's play another game. Who's this?
479
00:39:02,356 --> 00:39:04,551
- I wouldn't know.
- He's been a bad boy.
480
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:09,025
He blew up a building and
is driving a van registered in your name.
481
00:39:09,230 --> 00:39:13,394
We own lots of vans.
One of them was stolen three days ago.
482
00:39:13,567 --> 00:39:16,127
Look, Lieutenant, I have nothing to hide.
483
00:39:16,337 --> 00:39:18,464
Maybe, but I'm warning you.
484
00:39:18,673 --> 00:39:22,734
If you so much as sneeze,
I'll be there to wipe your nose.
485
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:33,679
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for
the first door prize of the evening:
486
00:39:33,921 --> 00:39:38,688
an all-expense-paid trip
to the Gilligan Islands.
487
00:39:39,894 --> 00:39:45,491
And to draw the first winner,
we would like to ask our guest of honor:
488
00:39:45,666 --> 00:39:48,999
Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.
489
00:39:51,706 --> 00:39:54,698
- Let me help you.
- That won't be necessary.
490
00:39:54,909 --> 00:39:57,605
I don't understand
what's gotten into Frank.
491
00:39:57,812 --> 00:40:00,906
I'm afraid it's merely
a case of jealousy, my dear.
492
00:40:01,115 --> 00:40:06,018
You're going to wear all my gears down.
We shouldn't push it like this.
493
00:40:44,892 --> 00:40:48,885
- He gets around marvelously.
- He does.
494
00:42:02,503 --> 00:42:03,993
- Frank?
- Jane.
495
00:42:04,205 --> 00:42:08,107
I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry
about what happened tonight.
496
00:42:08,309 --> 00:42:12,245
- Oh, Frank.
- I need to talk to you. May I come in?
497
00:42:12,446 --> 00:42:15,415
OK, but the place is kind of a mess.
498
00:42:16,650 --> 00:42:19,585
I was about to make a protein shake.
Do you want some?
499
00:42:19,787 --> 00:42:22,278
No, thank you.
500
00:42:22,523 --> 00:42:25,890
Are you sure?
I'm trying out a new recipe tonight.
501
00:42:26,093 --> 00:42:30,257
Do you know what Dr. Meinheimer
will say at the dinner tomorrow?
502
00:42:30,431 --> 00:42:34,390
Yes, he'll endorse energy efficiency
and renewable energy like solar power.
503
00:42:35,603 --> 00:42:39,403
- Who else knew that?
- Only me. And I told Quentin.
504
00:42:39,607 --> 00:42:44,067
And if the President adopts a policy of
supporting efficiency and solar energy,
505
00:42:44,278 --> 00:42:46,803
who would be the biggest losers?
506
00:42:47,014 --> 00:42:48,014
Coal, oil and nuclear.
507
00:42:49,216 --> 00:42:54,620
- Frank! Frank!
- Just one more question.
508
00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:57,985
You told me that Dr. Meinheimer
had a photographic memory,
509
00:42:58,192 --> 00:43:01,958
yet tonight
he never recalled meeting me.
510
00:43:02,162 --> 00:43:05,529
That's strange, but he has been
under a lot of stress lately.
511
00:43:05,699 --> 00:43:10,033
Does he have any identifying marks?
A scar, a mole, a tattoo,
512
00:43:10,237 --> 00:43:13,104
webbed toes or a third nostril?
513
00:43:13,307 --> 00:43:17,710
He has a birthmark in the shape of
Whistler's Mother on his right buttock.
514
00:43:17,912 --> 00:43:22,940
I see... Have you noticed
anything different about him?
515
00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:28,553
Only that he is a foot taller
and seems to be left-handed now.
516
00:43:28,756 --> 00:43:31,316
Frank! What are you trying to tell me?
517
00:43:31,525 --> 00:43:34,858
That Quentin has found
a double for Dr. Meinheimer
518
00:43:35,062 --> 00:43:37,895
and that he will give
a fraudulent report to the President?
519
00:43:38,065 --> 00:43:42,195
That's brilliant. That's a lot better
than what I had come up with.
520
00:43:42,403 --> 00:43:46,499
Stop it, this is preposterous!
Is there no end to your jealousy?
521
00:43:46,707 --> 00:43:49,107
Jane, you're hurting me.
522
00:43:49,310 --> 00:43:51,835
- What more do you want from me?
- Can I use your phone?
523
00:43:52,046 --> 00:43:54,344
- Local call?
- Yes.
524
00:43:54,548 --> 00:43:57,984
If you'll excuse me,
I have to take my shower.
525
00:43:58,218 --> 00:44:03,053
The phone is in the other room.
You can let yourself out. Goodbye.
526
00:44:19,707 --> 00:44:22,540
Give me Captain Ed Hocken, please.
527
00:44:30,818 --> 00:44:35,414
Ed, I'm onto something big.
I'll need you and Nordberg tomorrow.
528
00:44:35,656 --> 00:44:38,386
What is he doing in Detroit?
529
00:44:38,592 --> 00:44:41,060
Send him the plane fare
and a new pair of pants.
530
00:45:31,779 --> 00:45:36,481
Of the way we were
531
00:45:36,581 --> 00:45:39,283
Memories
532
00:45:39,720 --> 00:45:44,453
Like the colors of my mind
533
00:45:44,658 --> 00:45:48,617
Misty water-colored memories
534
00:45:50,898 --> 00:45:55,484
Of the way we were
535
00:45:55,584 --> 00:45:59,971
Scattered pictures
536
00:46:00,071 --> 00:46:04,970
Of the smiles we left behind
537
00:46:05,179 --> 00:46:11,949
Smiles we gave to one another
538
00:46:12,049 --> 00:46:16,037
Of the way we were
539
00:46:16,137 --> 00:46:20,323
Can it be that it was all so simple then
540
00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:22,927
Or has time rewritten...
541
00:46:25,999 --> 00:46:28,599
Frank!
542
00:47:16,617 --> 00:47:19,552
Just as I suspected.
543
00:47:20,487 --> 00:47:23,285
Come on, on your feet.
544
00:47:55,489 --> 00:47:56,786
Jane...
545
00:47:56,990 --> 00:48:00,084
What happened to the water pressure?
546
00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:01,294
Jane!
547
00:48:04,431 --> 00:48:05,631
Frank!
548
00:48:06,967 --> 00:48:09,401
I was so frightened!
549
00:48:10,437 --> 00:48:13,873
- What happened out there?
- It's nothing to worry about.
550
00:48:14,074 --> 00:48:18,170
But if I were you, I wouldn't leave
until they shampoo the carpets.
551
00:48:18,378 --> 00:48:23,042
- Who would want to kill you?
- Before tonight, only the cable company.
552
00:48:23,283 --> 00:48:28,778
Now I'm afraid it's one of
Hapsburg's goons. He was carrying this.
553
00:48:32,192 --> 00:48:36,185
Oh, Frank! I feel like such a fool.
554
00:48:37,097 --> 00:48:40,726
- I should never have doubted you.
- There, there...
555
00:48:40,934 --> 00:48:45,303
You couldn't know that the man you
were dating was a murdering sociopath.
556
00:48:45,505 --> 00:48:47,473
Oh, Frank!
We have to help Dr. Meinheimer.
557
00:48:48,675 --> 00:48:50,802
- He's in danger.
- Yes.
558
00:48:51,011 --> 00:48:53,639
They'll probably torture him,
then kill him.
559
00:48:53,847 --> 00:48:55,439
It's all my fault!
560
00:48:55,649 --> 00:48:59,881
They'll start by tearing out his toenails
and then move on to the nosehairs.
561
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,554
Oh, no! What are we going to do?
562
00:49:02,789 --> 00:49:06,623
If my hunch is right,
they're holding him hostage here.
563
00:49:06,827 --> 00:49:10,263
- At the Home Club?
- What? No!
564
00:49:10,430 --> 00:49:14,332
At this warehouse.
I've got to get going to rescue him.
565
00:49:14,534 --> 00:49:18,026
- You'll be careful?
- Of course I will.
566
00:49:19,907 --> 00:49:21,707
I will...
567
00:49:23,143 --> 00:49:26,135
I guess I'd better be on my way.
568
00:49:26,980 --> 00:49:30,916
I promised Nordberg
we'd bake a raisin nutbread tonight.
569
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,649
I can't fight it any more!
570
00:49:37,858 --> 00:49:44,698
I ran away from you once. I can't do it
again. Will you stay with me? Please?
571
00:52:51,450 --> 00:52:54,385
Frank, we've got
no business doing this.
572
00:52:54,620 --> 00:52:57,111
We've only got a dock pass
and your hunch.
573
00:52:57,356 --> 00:53:03,124
Hapsburg is up to something right up
to his pretty, imported shirt collar.
574
00:53:07,266 --> 00:53:12,690
It's a perfect day. This fog'll keep us
concealed to Hapsburg's warehouse.
575
00:53:12,797 --> 00:53:16,431
That's not fog. The number two
engine's on fire. They're putting it out.
576
00:53:16,642 --> 00:53:19,076
Let's run through this one more time.
577
00:53:19,278 --> 00:53:23,408
At 3:15, Nordberg will cut
the power lines, knocking out the alarms.
578
00:53:23,649 --> 00:53:24,809
Yeah. Right.
579
00:53:25,050 --> 00:53:27,075
- Nordberg.
- Got it.
580
00:53:27,319 --> 00:53:30,345
I'll be in the van waiting for your signal.
Are you wired-up?
581
00:53:30,589 --> 00:53:32,989
Yeah. Right.
582
00:53:33,325 --> 00:53:37,785
When you hear me say,
"I love it", you guys move in.
583
00:53:37,963 --> 00:53:39,954
- Check.
- Ready, Frank?
584
00:53:49,275 --> 00:53:51,266
The water's over there.
585
00:53:56,415 --> 00:53:59,009
Hexagon oil commercialnumber one.
586
00:54:01,053 --> 00:54:04,887
Piloting today's giant oil tankersis a big responsibility.
587
00:54:05,090 --> 00:54:08,491
That's why here at Hexagon'sTanker Captain Training School,
588
00:54:08,727 --> 00:54:12,322
future captains go througha rigorous instruction programme.
589
00:54:12,498 --> 00:54:14,659
Through a complicatedelimination process,
590
00:54:14,867 --> 00:54:18,098
we weed out those less qualifiedfor the day-to-day operation
591
00:54:18,304 --> 00:54:21,239
of a 500,000-tonnesingle hull super tanker.
592
00:54:21,440 --> 00:54:23,738
Only the best will take command
593
00:54:23,942 --> 00:54:28,038
of what is essentiallya floating ecological time bomb.
594
00:54:39,892 --> 00:54:41,325
Commercial two.
595
00:54:42,795 --> 00:54:45,593
Just the way I like it!
596
00:54:46,565 --> 00:54:49,159
Some day, way into the future,
597
00:54:49,368 --> 00:54:53,896
the sun may be able toprovide for all our energy needs.
598
00:54:54,106 --> 00:54:56,597
But right now,it gives us a comfortable feeling
599
00:54:56,809 --> 00:55:00,802
to know that our homeis being supplied by nuclear power.
600
00:55:01,013 --> 00:55:03,641
I know what you're thinking,but we're not worried.
601
00:55:03,849 --> 00:55:06,545
We know that nuclear energy is safe.
602
00:55:06,785 --> 00:55:10,949
In fact, we think of it asour friendly neighbor.
603
00:55:11,156 --> 00:55:14,887
But remember, our friend can't existwithout huge government subsidies.
604
00:55:15,094 --> 00:55:18,359
So tell your congressmanto keep those government dollars
605
00:55:18,530 --> 00:55:20,998
rolling into nuclear power.
606
00:55:26,472 --> 00:55:28,770
I'll have to find another way in, Ed.
607
00:55:28,974 --> 00:55:32,102
They've got killer guard dogs here.Do you read me?
608
00:55:32,311 --> 00:55:34,973
Loud and clear.
Nordberg, how are we doing?
609
00:55:36,281 --> 00:55:38,943
We're at our destination.
610
00:55:42,154 --> 00:55:44,622
Ed, I'm going to try the roof.
611
00:55:49,862 --> 00:55:51,887
I'm going to try it again.
612
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:36,366
- Cut the power line.
- Right.
613
00:56:39,912 --> 00:56:40,912
Help!
614
00:56:41,647 --> 00:56:45,674
Come in, Nordberg.
Frank, hold on. We have a problem.
615
00:56:57,229 --> 00:57:00,289
Well... It's Lieutenant Drebin.
616
00:57:00,933 --> 00:57:04,596
You were supposed to
have been killed last night.
617
00:57:05,437 --> 00:57:09,931
But now I think I'm going to
enjoy doing it myself.
618
00:57:10,142 --> 00:57:13,305
It'll be slow and painful.
619
00:57:18,183 --> 00:57:21,675
- What's that smell?
- That would be me.
620
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:25,822
I have been swimming in raw sewage.
I love it.
621
00:57:27,226 --> 00:57:28,591
I love it!
622
00:57:28,794 --> 00:57:31,627
That's the signal, let's go.
623
00:57:34,032 --> 00:57:36,330
It's stuck. Give me a hand.
624
00:57:36,535 --> 00:57:39,095
Ed, help me! Ed!
625
00:57:39,972 --> 00:57:40,972
Search him.
626
00:57:46,211 --> 00:57:48,211
I love it!
627
00:57:52,618 --> 00:57:54,677
He's wired!
628
00:57:56,421 --> 00:57:58,582
Tie him up!
629
00:57:58,790 --> 00:58:01,816
You'll never get away
with this, Hapsburg.
630
00:58:02,027 --> 00:58:05,861
- Whatever it is...
- All right, I'll show you.
631
00:58:06,031 --> 00:58:10,092
Let me introduce you to some people.
632
00:58:10,302 --> 00:58:16,138
Of course, you know Dr. Meinheimer.
And you've met Earl Hacker.
633
00:58:16,341 --> 00:58:19,333
Why you son of a...
634
00:58:19,545 --> 00:58:21,513
And then I'd like you
to meet the Redmans.
635
00:58:23,749 --> 00:58:26,274
Weekend guests from out of town.
636
00:58:27,119 --> 00:58:30,782
We're going to the Press Club Dinner.
Make sure nothing happens to Drebin
637
00:58:30,989 --> 00:58:31,989
until I come back.
638
00:58:33,191 --> 00:58:38,254
Then I want the pleasure
of killing you myself.
639
00:58:38,430 --> 00:58:40,728
The pleasure is all mine.
640
00:58:45,370 --> 00:58:48,134
See you after the speech, Lieutenant.
641
01:00:19,965 --> 01:00:22,297
- Freeze!
- That's it. Freeze!
642
01:00:22,501 --> 01:00:24,093
Don't move!
643
01:00:26,038 --> 01:00:29,371
Good Lord!
Look at what they did to Dr. Meinheimer.
644
01:00:30,742 --> 01:00:33,336
Are you OK, Dr. Meinheimer?
645
01:00:35,514 --> 01:00:38,677
That's OK. Don't try to talk.
646
01:00:40,919 --> 01:00:44,946
I just can't take this any more.
647
01:00:45,190 --> 01:00:48,216
Garbage like you just makes me sick!
648
01:00:48,427 --> 01:00:49,917
- Ed...
- OK?
649
01:00:50,095 --> 01:00:55,533
I'm just John Q. Public now.
It's just you and me.
650
01:00:56,368 --> 01:00:58,131
- Mano a mano.
- Ed...
651
01:00:58,336 --> 01:01:01,635
I'll teach you to pick on
a helpless invalid!
652
01:01:08,413 --> 01:01:10,711
All right, he's had enough!
653
01:01:10,949 --> 01:01:14,646
Somebody help the Captain.
We've got to get to that dinner.
654
01:01:22,561 --> 01:01:24,461
Any predictions, Mr. Sununu?
655
01:01:24,629 --> 01:01:28,190
There won't be any surprises
in Dr. Meinheimer's address.
656
01:01:28,400 --> 01:01:32,097
He'll recommend that the President
continues our policy of oil dependency,
657
01:01:32,337 --> 01:01:36,273
and more dollars for subsidizing nuclear
power, as I've recommended myself.
658
01:01:36,475 --> 01:01:40,912
We'll have more on the dinner later and
an update on the escaped zoo animals.
659
01:01:41,113 --> 01:01:46,210
This is the most important evening
of my career. We can't afford mistakes.
660
01:01:46,451 --> 01:01:49,750
If you see Drebin or
any Police Squad near these premises,
661
01:01:49,955 --> 01:01:52,185
I want them arrested on sight.
662
01:01:54,826 --> 01:01:57,761
I told Jane to meet us
at the hotel's rear entrance.
663
01:01:57,929 --> 01:02:00,124
- Where's that?
- In the back.
664
01:02:00,332 --> 01:02:02,493
She'll unlock the doors at 7:30.
665
01:02:02,701 --> 01:02:06,398
- What about Hapsburg?
- Hopefully, she can stay clear of him.
666
01:02:06,605 --> 01:02:08,405
Let's go.
667
01:02:24,055 --> 01:02:26,055
Why, Jane!
668
01:02:26,825 --> 01:02:30,556
What are you doing out here?
The party's inside.
669
01:02:30,729 --> 01:02:34,688
Quentin! I was just getting
a breath of fresh air.
670
01:02:39,271 --> 01:02:42,399
I grew up on Lake Erie.
There's nothing quite like it.
671
01:02:42,607 --> 01:02:45,041
Well, I'm quite sure...
672
01:02:45,243 --> 01:02:50,237
But how fortunate to have found you.
Now you can join me at my table.
673
01:03:00,892 --> 01:03:04,919
Jane! Something
must have happened to Jane.
674
01:03:05,096 --> 01:03:07,963
Bernardo, you've got the keys?
675
01:03:09,768 --> 01:03:13,226
I have a better idea. Follow me!
676
01:03:13,438 --> 01:03:17,738
Your attention, please.
Ladies and gentlemen.
677
01:03:17,943 --> 01:03:20,707
Thousand points of... light.
Light, a thousand points of light.
678
01:03:20,912 --> 01:03:25,849
Recession... bad. Recovery... good.
Yeah, I think I've got that.
679
01:03:26,084 --> 01:03:30,953
Ladies and gentlemen,
the President of the United States.
680
01:04:03,722 --> 01:04:06,322
Bésame
681
01:04:06,625 --> 01:04:11,025
Bésame mucho...
682
01:04:11,396 --> 01:04:17,801
Each time I cling to your kissI hear music divine
683
01:04:19,437 --> 01:04:23,237
Bésame mucho
684
01:04:27,145 --> 01:04:33,448
Hold me, my darling,and say that you'll always be mine
685
01:04:33,685 --> 01:04:35,744
We'd better make our move.
686
01:04:35,987 --> 01:04:40,390
Yeah, I'm thinking about something
more up-tempo, like Guantanamera.
687
01:04:40,625 --> 01:04:44,618
No, I mean Hacker!
He's getting ready to make a speech.
688
01:04:44,796 --> 01:04:50,234
Right! I'll intercept Hacker. You get
the doctor prepared for his speech.
689
01:05:07,185 --> 01:05:09,985
Bravo! Encore!
690
01:05:18,496 --> 01:05:20,293
Ladies and gentlemen...
691
01:05:20,498 --> 01:05:23,058
- Dr. Meinheimer.
- Yes?
692
01:05:23,268 --> 01:05:26,601
- Or should I say Hacker?
- Drebin!
693
01:05:30,175 --> 01:05:33,269
Look what he's doing
to that man in the wheelchair!
694
01:05:33,478 --> 01:05:37,710
- Can't someone help?
- Come on, guys. Let's get him!
695
01:05:37,949 --> 01:05:41,350
- Give me a shot at him!
- Beating a guy in a wheelchair, huh?
696
01:05:41,586 --> 01:05:45,317
- We'd better get this man first aid.
- Sit tight, mister.
697
01:05:46,725 --> 01:05:48,420
Thank you.
698
01:05:48,626 --> 01:05:54,155
I'm pleased and honored to be with you
tonight on this historic occasion.
699
01:05:54,332 --> 01:05:58,063
Tonight, Dr. Meinheimer,
as he looks up to the future,
700
01:05:58,269 --> 01:06:01,932
no doubt realizes
how our dependence on foreign oil
701
01:06:02,140 --> 01:06:04,665
has put a stranglehold on the budget.
702
01:06:04,876 --> 01:06:09,370
A lot of cuts will have to be made
and some people will be hit hard.
703
01:06:09,581 --> 01:06:12,880
But we'll just keep cutting
until we have an impact.
704
01:06:13,118 --> 01:06:16,417
That's the only way
we'll be able to move forward.
705
01:06:16,621 --> 01:06:20,819
Now I present to you
Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.
706
01:06:36,141 --> 01:06:39,133
Oh, my God! He can walk!
707
01:06:39,344 --> 01:06:41,778
He can walk! It's a miracle!
708
01:06:45,216 --> 01:06:47,207
I can walk!
709
01:06:48,420 --> 01:06:50,786
Get off me, you moron!
710
01:06:53,391 --> 01:06:56,519
Hey, come back here!
711
01:06:56,728 --> 01:07:01,722
Everything seems to be OK now,
so without further ado,
712
01:07:01,900 --> 01:07:05,927
I present to you, once again,the man who needs no introduction,
713
01:07:06,137 --> 01:07:10,733
the esteemed Dr. Albert S. Meinheimer.
714
01:07:23,788 --> 01:07:24,788
Hold it! Hold everything!
715
01:07:26,724 --> 01:07:29,158
- Don't listen to him. He's a fraud!
- No!
716
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:32,295
- I can prove it!
- What are you doing?
717
01:07:32,464 --> 01:07:34,762
The real doctor has a birthmark
718
01:07:34,966 --> 01:07:36,934
in the shape of Whistler's Mother
right here!
719
01:07:44,809 --> 01:07:49,143
Obviously a forgery.
We'll see about this!
720
01:07:51,583 --> 01:07:52,743
Drebin!
721
01:08:09,934 --> 01:08:14,962
Hold it! Frank is right.
There is a fraud in this room,
722
01:08:15,173 --> 01:08:17,698
but it's this man!
723
01:08:18,610 --> 01:08:23,877
And he's just given us this signed
confession, implicating that man!
724
01:08:27,886 --> 01:08:29,820
No, no, no...
725
01:08:30,788 --> 01:08:33,188
That man - Quentin Hapsburg.
726
01:08:35,827 --> 01:08:38,819
- They're gone!
- Let's go!
727
01:08:46,871 --> 01:08:49,169
- Let me go!
- The roof.
728
01:08:50,141 --> 01:08:53,577
Come on, Frank, hurry!
Come on!
729
01:09:01,753 --> 01:09:04,278
Tonight, I intend to share with you
my report
730
01:09:04,522 --> 01:09:06,820
on our need for a national policy
731
01:09:07,025 --> 01:09:12,520
based on energy efficiency and clean,
renewable energy sources.
732
01:09:18,203 --> 01:09:19,795
Over there!
733
01:09:20,004 --> 01:09:21,204
Frank!
734
01:09:23,775 --> 01:09:25,902
Take cover!
735
01:10:08,853 --> 01:10:12,721
Nordberg! Cover me, I'm going in!
736
01:10:40,852 --> 01:10:45,289
All right. Where's Hapsburg?
737
01:10:46,257 --> 01:10:48,691
- Where are you hit?
- It's not that.
738
01:10:48,893 --> 01:10:52,090
- You're on my groin.
- Oh, sorry.
739
01:10:52,263 --> 01:10:54,925
- Where is he?
- You're too late.
740
01:10:55,767 --> 01:10:58,531
Hapsburg has Plan B in...
741
01:10:58,736 --> 01:11:01,102
...in... in...
742
01:11:02,106 --> 01:11:05,269
Where, where? All right.
743
01:11:05,476 --> 01:11:08,172
Who else is almost dead?
744
01:11:10,048 --> 01:11:12,048
OK, now...
745
01:11:13,384 --> 01:11:16,012
- Talk!
- You're too late, Drebin.
746
01:11:16,254 --> 01:11:19,018
- He already said that.
- Where did he leave off?
747
01:11:19,223 --> 01:11:22,454
"Hapsburg has Plan B in..."
748
01:11:22,660 --> 01:11:26,596
Oh, yeah. Hapsburg has Plan B in...
749
01:11:26,764 --> 01:11:29,460
...in...
- Where?
750
01:11:29,667 --> 01:11:33,000
Where? Talk, you low-life scum!
751
01:11:33,204 --> 01:11:36,662
Gee, if that's your attitude, forget it!
752
01:11:40,178 --> 01:11:42,806
I'm right here, Drebin.
753
01:11:45,817 --> 01:11:48,308
Drop your gun, Lieutenant.
754
01:11:51,689 --> 01:11:55,420
I believe you're inquiring about Plan B.
755
01:11:56,160 --> 01:11:59,596
That's where we detonate
a small nuclear device.
756
01:11:59,764 --> 01:12:03,200
Your Dr. Meinheimer
can talk all he wants.
757
01:12:03,401 --> 01:12:05,767
No one will be left alive to hear it.
758
01:12:05,970 --> 01:12:08,029
Detonation sequence activated.
759
01:12:08,239 --> 01:12:11,572
I'm the only one
who knows the abort code.
760
01:12:11,776 --> 01:12:14,973
In ten minutes,
this building and everyone in it
761
01:12:15,179 --> 01:12:17,670
will be reduced to a pile of rubble.
762
01:12:17,882 --> 01:12:20,680
I'll be safely on my helicopter.
763
01:12:20,918 --> 01:12:24,718
By this time tomorrow,
I'll be hunting rhino in Botswana.
764
01:12:24,922 --> 01:12:27,083
What do you think of that?
765
01:12:27,291 --> 01:12:31,728
You certainly seem to be
in touch with your anger.
766
01:12:31,896 --> 01:12:35,297
I don't care what you think.
You won't talk your way out of this.
767
01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:39,095
Go ahead! Threaten me like you have
the American people for so long.
768
01:12:39,303 --> 01:12:42,238
But it won't work this time.
You're part of a dying breed,
769
01:12:42,440 --> 01:12:47,139
like people who can name all 50 states.
The truth hurts, doesn't it?
770
01:12:47,345 --> 01:12:50,906
Maybe not as much as jumping on
a bicycle with the seat missing,
771
01:12:51,149 --> 01:12:52,446
but it hurts.
772
01:12:52,683 --> 01:12:56,642
That's as far as you go, Drebin.
Any final requests, Lieutenant?
773
01:12:57,889 --> 01:13:00,551
Yes. Can I have the gun?
774
01:13:01,793 --> 01:13:05,456
Oh, no. I'm not going to fall for that one.
775
01:13:05,630 --> 01:13:07,723
Not so fast!
776
01:13:22,980 --> 01:13:25,471
Six minutes to detonation.
777
01:13:26,184 --> 01:13:29,984
- All right, talk! Give me that abort code.
- OK, I'll talk.
778
01:13:30,188 --> 01:13:32,782
- Six numbers - 2, 1, 7...
- I'm coming, Frank!
779
01:13:37,228 --> 01:13:38,820
Thanks a lot.
780
01:13:55,379 --> 01:13:57,870
- Are you all right?
- I'm fine. Are you OK?
781
01:13:58,082 --> 01:14:02,951
Yes, but unless we can disarm
this computer, the building will blow.
782
01:14:03,154 --> 01:14:05,588
We must warn everyone.
783
01:14:05,823 --> 01:14:11,455
- Jane, you'd better go.
- No, Frank. I'm staying here with you.
784
01:14:11,629 --> 01:14:13,062
But Jane...
785
01:14:13,264 --> 01:14:16,233
If you're going to be blown to bits,
I want to be here with you.
786
01:14:19,403 --> 01:14:24,397
Jane, I promise you
that if we ever come out of this alive,
787
01:14:24,609 --> 01:14:28,545
I'll never let my police work
interfere with our love again.
788
01:14:29,547 --> 01:14:31,845
Frank. Frank!
789
01:14:32,917 --> 01:14:35,442
The bomb.
Let's go, Nordberg.
790
01:14:35,686 --> 01:14:38,086
Four minutes to detonation.
791
01:14:38,756 --> 01:14:42,157
- What are we going to do?
- See what you can find in the manual.
792
01:14:42,360 --> 01:14:48,390
Let me see here... "To reset
detonation code, press pound sign."
793
01:14:49,800 --> 01:14:53,531
Per your command, the speedof this sequence has been increased.
794
01:14:53,738 --> 01:14:56,434
Detonation now in two minutes.
795
01:14:56,641 --> 01:15:02,011
So instead of spending
2.5 billion dollars
796
01:15:02,213 --> 01:15:06,081
on research
into nuclear waste disposal,
797
01:15:06,317 --> 01:15:10,583
the Federal Government,
for only 500 million dollars,
798
01:15:10,788 --> 01:15:13,985
or the cost of one B-1 bomber,
799
01:15:14,191 --> 01:15:19,925
could reduce the price
of solar panels by 90%.
800
01:15:20,097 --> 01:15:24,295
As Albert Einstein once said...
801
01:15:24,502 --> 01:15:27,403
Wake up, wake up!
802
01:15:27,605 --> 01:15:30,233
Wake up, the place is going to blow!
803
01:15:33,344 --> 01:15:35,608
I'll get the lights.
804
01:15:37,181 --> 01:15:40,947
To elaborate on point 102...
805
01:15:41,185 --> 01:15:43,619
Here, read this. It's an emergency.
806
01:15:46,724 --> 01:15:50,182
"His strong, manly hands
807
01:15:50,394 --> 01:15:55,559
"probed every crevice
of her silken femininity,
808
01:15:56,968 --> 01:16:00,995
"their undulating bodies
writhing in a sensual rhythm
809
01:16:01,205 --> 01:16:04,971
"as he thrust his purple-headed warrior
810
01:16:05,176 --> 01:16:08,339
"into her quivering mound
of love pudding."
811
01:16:08,546 --> 01:16:13,279
Listen up, everyone. I want you
to calmly file towards the exits.
812
01:16:13,517 --> 01:16:18,750
That's it. Nobody run.
Just walk, single file.
813
01:16:18,956 --> 01:16:22,016
That's it. If we'll just stay calm,
814
01:16:22,226 --> 01:16:25,992
no one will be harmed by the huge bomb
that's going to explode.
815
01:16:33,671 --> 01:16:36,606
It's a cookbook, it's a cookbook!
816
01:16:38,109 --> 01:16:40,907
Twenty seconds to detonation.
817
01:16:41,646 --> 01:16:44,706
- What are you going to do?
- 15 seconds.
818
01:16:45,950 --> 01:16:48,180
- It's got my sleeve!
- Oh, no!
819
01:16:48,419 --> 01:16:49,566
10, 9, 8...
820
01:16:49,666 --> 01:16:52,851
- I can't get it.
- Jane, my jacket!
821
01:16:54,058 --> 01:16:57,458
5, 4, 3...
822
01:16:58,162 --> 01:17:00,062
- ... 2, 1...
- Let's get out!
823
01:17:04,168 --> 01:17:06,398
Frank, look!
824
01:17:07,471 --> 01:17:09,671
You did it!
825
01:17:18,983 --> 01:17:22,783
Thank you,
Mr. President, for those kind words,
826
01:17:22,987 --> 01:17:25,547
but it's all part of the job.
827
01:17:25,790 --> 01:17:29,817
Frank, I'd like you to consider filling
a special post I'm going to create.
828
01:17:30,027 --> 01:17:33,019
It may mean long hours,
dangerous nights,
829
01:17:33,197 --> 01:17:37,361
and being surrounded by some of
the scummiest elements in our society.
830
01:17:37,568 --> 01:17:40,469
You want me to be in your cabinet?
831
01:17:40,671 --> 01:17:42,471
No... No!
832
01:17:43,574 --> 01:17:48,705
I want you to head up
a new Federal Bureau of Police Squad.
833
01:17:52,149 --> 01:17:55,710
- That's a great honor.
- It's what you've always wanted.
834
01:17:55,953 --> 01:17:57,113
Congratulations.
835
01:17:57,354 --> 01:17:59,288
Nice going!
836
01:18:00,024 --> 01:18:04,358
- Get in here.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
837
01:18:05,763 --> 01:18:08,664
Thank you. I'm very honored.
838
01:18:08,866 --> 01:18:16,170
This is something I've always dreamt of,
but I'll have to turn down your offer.
839
01:18:17,074 --> 01:18:20,532
You see, I've learnt something
this past week
840
01:18:20,745 --> 01:18:23,664
about the Earth and about love.
841
01:18:23,764 --> 01:18:26,478
I guess love is like the ozone layer.
842
01:18:27,718 --> 01:18:30,414
You never miss it until it's gone.
843
01:18:31,222 --> 01:18:35,158
Blowing away a fleeing suspect
with my.44 Magnum
844
01:18:35,392 --> 01:18:39,453
used to be everything to me.
I enjoyed it. Who wouldn't?
845
01:18:41,298 --> 01:18:46,531
But now I want to be known as
"The Environmental Police Lieutenant".
846
01:18:50,307 --> 01:18:55,472
I want a world where Frank Junior,
and all the Frank Juniors,
847
01:18:55,679 --> 01:18:57,738
can sit under a shade tree,
848
01:18:57,948 --> 01:19:01,042
breathe the air, swim in the ocean,
849
01:19:01,285 --> 01:19:04,550
and go into a 7-Eleven
without an interpreter.
850
01:19:11,128 --> 01:19:16,122
I want a world where I can eat
a sea otter without getting sick.
851
01:19:16,333 --> 01:19:21,771
I want a world where the Democrats
have a candidate worth voting for.
852
01:19:24,809 --> 01:19:28,677
I may not get there with you,
but most of all,
853
01:19:28,879 --> 01:19:32,315
I want a world
where I can wake up each morning
854
01:19:32,516 --> 01:19:35,383
with this woman, whom I love!
855
01:19:38,589 --> 01:19:39,789
Yikes!
856
01:19:40,457 --> 01:19:42,516
- Frank!
- Jane!
857
01:19:44,829 --> 01:19:48,822
- Jane, will you marry me?
- Yes, of course I'll marry you!
858
01:19:53,971 --> 01:19:57,532
We love Frank! We love Frank!
859
01:19:57,741 --> 01:20:00,835
One more picture.
Turn around, over here!
860
01:20:01,045 --> 01:20:02,245
Smile!
861
01:20:07,184 --> 01:20:09,482
Help, George!
862
01:24:27,144 --> 01:24:29,760
All right, let's seeif I got this straight, now.
863
01:24:30,039 --> 01:24:32,845
Energy efficiency... good.
864
01:24:33,450 --> 01:24:37,819
Drilling inArctic national wildlife refuge... bad.
865
01:24:38,922 --> 01:24:41,618
Mr. President,is everything OK in there?
866
01:24:41,825 --> 01:24:43,898
I'm fine, thanks.
867
01:24:44,305 --> 01:24:50,187
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