Original subtitles

Previously, on The Magicians.

…and when the moment comes, do it.

Mayakovsky told you what your discipline is?

Repair of small objects.

You did always excel at minor mendings.

- I want you in my life. - I want that, too.

The Binder knew Julia had many questions. He knew the answer.

So you can help me become a goddess again.

You’re hoarding magic. Trying to become a god.

By becoming one of them, I can rip their secrets away from them.

I redirected the power I need into a reservoir.

You’re saying Josh is a fucking fish?

This should fix the whole fish deal. I’ll bring Eliot back.

My sister. I need to find her a body.

- So The Monster took Julia? - We need to find them.

We have the axes and the demon bottles. You have the incorporate bond.

Casting an incorporate bond strong enough to hold a god

would take an insane amount of power.

The question is, who put us here?

Our parents.

They’re more vulnerable than you think, if we can get to their realm.

We had a key. A scroll.

Julia, if you’re in there. I’m sorry.

Hey. Monster lady.

Adorable. So determined.

Maybe I’ll keep you as pets.

Then again, I like my pets strong.

And you’re weak. You're already fading. Aren't you?

It worked. Q, the bond.

I don’t know how long that’s going to hold.

We need to get to Brakebills, I have something that can help.

- We need to get her help. - Wait, where's Eliot?

We can’t. We don’t have enough. We have to go back to the Reservoir.

After we get her to a doctor.

No, he’s right. Go to the reservoir.

She's right.

Always gotta be a fuckin' twist.

In my office. Under the desk, trap door…

Popper twenty-two to unlock. Don't put your hand in there.

Temperature’s at absolute zero. Should slow her down a bit. Go.

You okay?

You wanna hurry that up?

Give her something for pain at least.

Yeah, I just did. Twice.

- Damn it. - Here. My last one. Use it on her.

- You’re going to be okay. Stay with me. - Thank you, Henry.

Restraints please?

You’re okay.

- What’s happening to her? - So, her body, which is very weird,

it keeps trying to close the wound. Which is heavily enchanted

because the weapon was also very weird.

- It tears itself right back open again. - Well, make it stop.

I hadn't thought of that. Thank you.

I will use this to keep her comfortable. And…

How long is she gonna be like this?

We are not in what I would call charted territory right now.

I think I might know someone.

It was a difficult choice for Penny Twenty-three,

to even call upon The Binder.

The Binder was certain, however, Penny Twenty-three had made the right choice.

Julia, The Binder explained…

would remain in a cycle of wounding, agony, for millennia.

Her body required transformation.

Luckily, this was The Binder's expertise.

Well, great. Let's get on with it.

The Binder needed direction.

Initiate her long and arduous journey to full goddesshood,

or revert her body to that of a mere human?

If it was up to me, that would be a no-brainer.

Yeah, but it's not.

And it should be her choice.

The Binder paused for Julia to make that choice.

Then dryly noted she wasn’t in a talking mood.

The Binder assumed he was speaking with her husband or master?

No. No.

And yet the decision had to be made.

Surely not, the Binder reasoned, by this spinster nursemaid.

I run this hospital, book.

Still, the Binder replied,

stating the obvious to the strident female,

someone needed to choose for Julia.

Reed’s mark.

Best of bad options. Damage was done.

I'd rather not die so it's fine on that level.

But also…

Look, I’ve no interest in being Batman, but there comes a point

when even selfish bros need to mobilize.

Six Hedges in the last forty-eight hours

were pulled into vans by men wearing grey.

- Woke up at home, with Reed's Marks. - Jesus.

The Library has stopped pretending.

They're rounding us up. We need you.

You know what I wanted to do with my life?

To be?

Penny's goddamn girlfriend.

I acted tough, but all I wanted was him.

You're human.

I'm weak.

Kady, die when less people need you.

- Hey. - Hey.

I honestly feel like I’ve been run over by six or eight trucks, but I’m fine.

And by fine you mean…

What does it look like?

We have to talk about the Monster. His sister, I saw her plan.

Her goal. It’s way worse than slaughtering the entire Library.

They want to take it up with their parents. The Old Gods.

Wait, what does that even mean?

I don't know, and neither did she, she just knows it would feel good to kill them,

and eradicate us in some sort of insane nuclear winter,

which she could give negative three shits about.

Do they know how to get to the Old Gods?

They found a spell at the library.

It opens a door to their plane.

My guess is The Monster wants to find his sister, finish the plan,

kill the Old Gods or get smashed to a pulp trying

That means smash Eliot.

The upside to them inhabiting our bodies is,

she left this in my pocket.

Whatever's in this is sure to unlock the door.

Holy shit. Well done.

Well shit, I was ready to give up.

Welcome back.

- Towel? - Uh, yeah. Thank you.

So was it weird? Being a fish?

It felt, uh, very natural.

The weird part was

how you were so incredibly selfless

and, no offense, sweet which is…

Not on brand? I know.

Anyone who really knows me knows that I'll do anything if I love you.

Listen, Hoberman, don't be stupid.

I'm not actually fun or easy when I'm in love.

Fun and easy are overrated.

- Oh, Christ, not… - Oh. Ooh my day.

Oh, hi. Sorry, I just un-fished.

So, anyone else super hungry?

I'm craving fish sticks? Is that weird?

You know what, I'm just gonna go with it.

Where's Eliot?

Did you do it?

We got one so far.

You didn't save Eliot, did you?

Of course you didn't, you cocked it up trying to save Julia.

- That bitch has a bulletproof body. - Not anymore.

We don’t even know if Eliot’s still alive in there.

You don't even know what the hell was going on.

- You had one fucking job you… - Yeah, fuck off, Margo!

Oh, Jesus Herbert Walker Christ, you're predictable, you know that?

What the shit?

Oh my God.

It just came out of me. So strong.

Guys. I think I have some special Fish Magicks.

Act out. Right?

Or you touched the Reservoir. And you got dosed up.

Yeah, that makes a thousand times more sense.

But still pretty act out worthy, no?

- Hello, Kady. - How are you, Zelda?

I understand your anger.

No, see, that'd require actual human feelings.

Kady.

You piece of shit, pearl-clutching, sociopath…

None of this was calculated on my part.

Everett,

I have believed in his goodness for over a century.

Everett is in it for Everett.

If you are right, then all the death, all of it,

it's on my hands.

Look,

I know you're not evil.

Just the definition of "obedience."

I used to be.

Prove it.

Man, I’m good.

Yeah. Great, thanks.

So. You, uh…

- You feel okay? - Yeah, thanks.

And by thanks, I mean, thank you for deciding that I should age,

grow old, and probably die from a paper cut.

Oh yeah, and that I’ll never get to do magic again,

because I’m perfect now.

Did Professor Lipson tell you?

I am perfectly normal.

And magic doesn’t come from normal. So thank you for deciding that without me.

I um,

have to do that thing.

- Look. It was a shit decision. - It was my decision.

- I know. - Do you?

Because I don’t. I will never know.

I just know that this is not how it was supposed to be.

Okay, truth, I was selfish,

you were in pain and it was never gonna stop and I couldn’t.

And you know what?

I would do it again to not lose you again.

Wait.

Penny...

Just stay here and let me be pissed at you.

I can do that.

So Everett wants to be a god.

And now he's so juiced,

that he can just rip the god-power right out of Eliot.

So why don’t we just let him?

So, let that psycho book-fondler

rip the Monster out of Eliot and probably kill him?

- Hey, come on, where are you going? - She's pissed at me

but more pissed at herself for being so pissed.

She's not great at apologizing so she’s going to walk around

until she calms down, and hope I forget.

She’s right. Anything where he could die is off the table.

- Hello. - Shit! I mean, hi.

Where is my sister?

Where is the scroll?

Uh, the scroll?

- Answer me now. - Um, what does it look like again?

No.

I don't like you. Do I?

I have no idea.

But I can assure you,

you will hate me.

Hello.

You did it. What an achievement, huh? Two humans.

Test seven-sixty-four is usually what trips your kind up.

But, hey, as we say in linear based binary,

infinite time is just a parabolic lost sock.

Right?

You do speak Linear Base Binary, don't you?

No? Then how did you complete Task seven-sixty-four?

Or the rest of the 1,293?

- Okay, so we're not on a Quest.- We were.

- Yeah, last year. - Crushed it.

Totally, except the part that we're trying to fix now.

Wait, wait. Hold on. How do you have The Resonant Singularity Scroll?

Kind of by accident.

My fish magicks went off. And…

Don’t…don’t…

I was not trained for this eventuality.

We just want to talk to an Old God.

Do you now.

Let me explain this in a way that you might understand.

A chihuahua

just demanded a blowjob from an archangel.

Hm? Also, I'm not explaining fish magicks to my bosses.

It’s a real…

Also, tee time.

No, come on. Look, hang on. Hang on, look.

We need the Old Gods, but they need us too.

Need you? Hubris much?

Five minutes? Please.

So the Old Gods wouldn't maybe be a little bit motivated

to help once we tell them about the…

Not really.

Those monsters, sorry nobody told you, but,

they can't be killed.

Then why create them at all?

Why are nickels bigger than dimes?

Why are nickels bigger than dimes?

Wait, so there's no way to stop them?

You said "kill."

They can be stopped.

And can you think of any good reason

why your bosses wouldn't want us to do that?

I mean, if they don’t have to actually do anything,

can't hurt.

Okay, boys. Here's my advice.

Drop 'em in the Seam.

The Seam?

This is ridiculous, you're imbeciles.

Not arguing that, but

the seam between what, exactly?

This universe and, y'know, the anti-verse.

Where everything's all dead.

So we go to the dead-verse.

Duck-on-a-muffin, no!

You go up to the Seam, you drop the suckers in.

And that would be, where?

Use your heads, guys.

The Seam's not quite sealed,

what could that mean oh,

maybe it leaked, and created a weird little pocket world

where everything's all backwards and lifeless.

- Wait, The Mirror World!? - Sure. Not a bad name.

So you go there, you find the Seam.

And whatever you toss in will never, ever come back out again.

I am insanely late.

Here you go.

To the victors, cake!

Okay, but the Mirror Room is an entire world,

how are we gonna find the Seam?

Goddamn it, I don’t think I could ever eat non-Old-God cake again.

Perfection is a curse.

Oh, right, find the Seam?

- Guy didn't say. - We don't have to go looking for it.

I think I know where it is.

There’s this place, this door,

and what’s behind it felt different.

Different like?

Like I knew I shouldn’t go near it. Even when I was a Niffin.

Well, perfect, we should definitely all walk right in there.

So, according to Fogg, the Monster is out there right now.

Confused, for as long as that spell will last.

Twenty-Three, if you can Travel us out there,

we have an opportunity to surprise him.

This is where we open the room for pitches,

because I accidentally lost all my fish magicks,

and now none of us has the juice to do the Bond.

What about Dean Fogg? He’s gotta have an extra battery, right?

Nothing powerful enough. We asked.

There has to be something else.

There is.

Hedge Witches.

Can barely tie their shoes.

Fuck you, and also you're wrong.

A huge untapped pool.

Look, they're used to crumbs and yes, ambient is low.

- But you know what amplifies it? - Cooperative magic.

We tell everyone,

and I mean all over the world, wherever there's a pipe.

Fillory even.

And we all do the same thing at the same time

You can't get that many people to cooperate,

this isn't Sesame Street.

There are some shitty Hedges.

But there are enough good ones that we could pull this off.

And we need them. Kady's right. This is a good idea.

We need a way to get the message out, fast. To time it right.

- I've got someone who can help. - They’d have to keep casting the entire time.

So we can keep the Monsters in the bottles until we get them through the Seam.

This is right on the hairy edge of what I'd even call a plan.

- Hey, Q, Can we talk a sec? - Yeah.

- I've been thinking. - Me too. I think that

you should tell me where the Seam is so that I can do it.

Why you?

Because I’m better equipped to…

Because I want you to be safe.

I want you to be safe.

Are you saying that you…

No, I’m saying that we’ve…

we’ve tried the whole saving each other thing with mixed results.

Yeah, sure, but I…

I… And I've been thinking about what works best,

and I think…no, I know we’re best when we’re a team.

Okay, when me and you, together.

If nothing else, I like the sound of it.

Because it's true.

So, it’s decided?

Okay, people, let's do this.

If you need to touch butts, make it quick, we got a multiverse to save.

How does she know our thing?

Stop torturing yourself.

- I want to help. - Julia,

it’s going to be okay.

Or it won’t.

You're just zen because you think this is it,

what Other Penny told you, some big thing you have to do.

No.

I'm zen ‘cause there's a lot scarier shit than dying.

And right now I'm looking at you. So I'm good.

Bye, Julia.

Bye.

There's something I want you to know, Sister.

This world, it's not just the bad things or the ones who wronged us.

There’s…

There’s such beauty. In everything.

Even the quiet.

Especially the quiet.

Hey!

Hey, motherfucker.

Eliot.

Eliot.

Eliot, stay with me.

Now!

Eliot!

Eliot?

If there's a tunnel with grandma tell her to piss off and come back to me.

You selfish fuck! Get back here!

Eliot?

Eliot, please.

Eliot!

Well, when you put it so sweetly, Bambi.

Do something. Please.

They need all the ambient for those bottles.

What is the point of being a Magician if you can't do this?

Before I was a Magician, I was a trauma surgeon,

I'm perfectly capable of saving him the old-fashioned way.

If you need to cry go outside.

- They holding? - Yeah. For now. We have to hurry.

Okay.

Home is right through here,

we do this, we move quick.

Okay, remember, no Travelling,

and no magic.

It goes bad fast here.

- Alice? - Just give me a sec.

We’ll listen to your gut next time.

It’s the lab?

Why?

Who cares?

Careful.

That's it.

That’s The Seam.

Okay, let’s do this.

Okay. Let me.

Everett.

Quentin?

That's mine.

Hand it over, please?

- You know you can’t cast in here. - I know.

Mutually assured destruction.

Which is why you'll give it to me.

You tried.

You did. I'm impressed.

But that bond won't hold.

Give it to me before the Monster gets out and everything goes far more shit-shaped.

Quentin, I think you need to…

Your friend Eliot is safe. I'll let you go.

Just let me handle this.

- You'll become a god. - You've met gods, but I won't be like them.

I studied them so I could do better, be better.

Trust me.

Okay.

Okay. I get it. Okay.

You always were smarter than the books gave you credit for.

It'll be okay, Q.

In fact you'll go down as a hero, I'll make sure of it.

Take her. Do it. Now.

What? No!

- What did you do? - Just a Minor Mending.

Quentin!

Give it to me.

Hey.

Been a while.

Welcome to the Underworld.

Oh, shit.

Really?

What’s this?

Hot chocolate.

I'm dead but there's still hot chocolate.

That's a good sign.

What did I do?

What do you think you did?

I don't know, it happened so fast.

This is the part where I can't lie, right?

My whole life is…

Revealed.

But it only means anything if you reveal it to yourself.

Okay.

Most of my life I’ve been, um, in and out of hospitals, and,

you know,

suicidal thoughts, and notes,

a lot of notes.

Attempts and...

Meds and therapy. And then

I found Brakebills,

and all that went away.

Or…I thought, but…

But?

Did I do something brave to save my friends,

or did I finally find a way to kill myself?

Okay.

I can see we’re gonna need the deluxe package.

Which…it’s okay. No surprise.

Let’s go.

I don't know what to say.

I mean, what words are ever going to…

They won't.

Appreciate the level of sincere grief, dude,

I seem to remember when I kicked it? You laughing.

I’m really sorry about that.

It’s okay. I’ve met you.

I think you know your answer now.

The story, for them, it's just starting.

But it won't be the same story, because of you.

You didn't just save their lives,

you changed their lives

as much as they changed yours.

You didn't want to leave all that. Did you?

- It’s time to say goodbye. - All right. Just one last look.

Are they gonna be okay?

Oh yeah, once they reach here, just fine.

No, up there.

Oh, up there.

You'll notice control is done with the ring finger positioning

if you watch...

And the blood. Feels like we're never gonna get it all out.

Then we tear down and rebuild. Which is probably long overdue.

I got here as fast as I could.

Thank you.

With so few Librarians, each is precious.

We're lucky you're still here. To run this place.

Oh no.

No, I can't do that.

Your humility is charming but this isn't the time.

I know what I'm capable of,

what I feel.

It should not be me.

I know exactly who we need. But I'm not sure they...

We need you to go find someone.

And do your very best to convince them to come and help us.

Alice Quinn.

Eliot and Margo.

Yeah.

That one’s kind of funny.

Funny ha-ha or funny... uh-oh?

God, this feels so good.

It sure does.

Okay, let's see what-the-what

with getting un-banished my throne back

and my man for some white-hot grief banging.

I’m sorry,

that came out way harsher than I thought.

It's okay.

It's gonna be weird for a little while, so,

we’re just going to have to…

Margo?

The fuck did they do to my castle?

Uh, pardon me, sir?

Crazy question but,

Fillory is still ruled by Acting High King Fen, right?

If this is some kind of loyalty test…

No, no, uh, we've just been away for a while.

The Dark King reigns. Glory to his rule.

High King Fen and Josh The Fresh Prince were overthrown three hundred years ago.

The gods curse them both.

Have a good day.

The one that I'm the most worried about is Julia.

I know.

She’s fought so hard for magic.

She's been in a weird place.

Then comes to the end of this crazy journey

and feels at peace.

And magic?

Comes from pain.

Goodbye, Q.

Q, are you doing this?

Holy shit.

I’m doing this.

Did you?

Did you just see that? I have…

Yeah.

So, what are you going to do with it?

What happens next?

Learn to love the mysteries, man.

Can I ask you something?

Yes. I'm nicer.

All that stuff we think protects us or motivates us or scares us up there?

Here, it just all falls away.

You're finally just you.

You'll see.

This is as far as I go, brother.

Subtitles by URSKA