Original subtitles

- Gary! - Did Alan like the football?

Can't leave us alone!

He's a bit of a bloody nuisance, Gary.

Three times introduced me to people, "This is my dad."

This little old man managed to get his narrow boat wedged.

My dad has to make a decision.

You're getting married.

CAROLINE: Can you live with someone, sleep with someone knowing you...

murdered his brother?

I think I've upset Gillian.

Thinks we haven't got two brass farthings to wipe our arses with.

I offered to pay for the wedding.

Dad, you're not going to believe this.

Ripped By mstoll

Morning.

- Lovely morning for it. - Yes, isn't it?

Morning.

That's nice.

Gay couple with a baby?

- Who are they? - I've no idea.

What time are we leaving, Dad?

Can you field that one?

(SIGHS)

ALAN: Gillian!

Hey, is this here straight?

- You're lovely, Alan, you're perfect. - Oh.

- What is she doing? - Give her another shout.

Gillian!

We're going to be late.

- She still in the bathroom? - I've no idea.

Gillian?

Gillian.

Gillian?

Shh.

What's up?

I...

I can't do it.

You were right.

- I can't marry him. - Okay, all right. Okay.

It's not, it's not because of that...

Eddie...

Thing... Business, specifically, it's all sorts, it's everything.

- It's my dad. - Your dad.

It's our Raff.

- How? - I didn't want a stupid big do.

I said that.

I kept saying that.

And now here we are, �10,000 later.

- Okay. - What for?

- Okay. - Other people.

The only reason I accepted this

is because of all the arguing after that stupid article in The Courier.

Guilt.

I accepted it. A, because that's what everybody else wanted,

and B, I felt guilty.

Why didn't he come and talk to me?

It's not how he does things.

Just going silent on me and not answering the phone calls.

He doesn't make a fuss.

It's not his way.

RAFF: It's embarrassing.

- You've embarrassed him. - How?

It's like saying

"Here's this little old fella

"who was unfaithful to his wife all those years ago."

That isn't... That wasn't... That isn't what it was about it at all.

No, but it's implied.

It's fairly obvious what the story behind it is.

That is going to get read by everyone who knows him.

Everyone round here.

And it's embarrassing.

- You've humiliated him. - No, I haven't.

Fine. You ask me why he seems to have stopped bothering with you.

Well, as far as I'm aware

that's what seems to be the answer.

GARY: You know if anyone should be embarrassed, it's me.

Finding out that the man who I thought was my dad,

wasn't my dad, age 46.

It's me who's been humiliated, lied to.

God knows what.

Well, obviously that's your perspective.

- My perspective? - Yes.

That's... I'm not making light of it.

Obviously, you're having it to deal with.

I didn't do the interview to embarrass him.

- No, but he is... - That's not why I did it.

Yeah, but nobody thinks... That's not the point.

I did it because I wanted to celebrate the fact that he's my dad.

I did it to embrace the fact that he's my dad.

I don't want any of us to embarrassed about it.

Well, that's very nice, obviously.

But from his point of view you can see, surely you can see

that you've pointed out in public

that he was unfaithful to the woman he was married to.

- My mother. - My granny.

Yeah, I don't think that's how people would see it.

That's how he sees it.

Is it Celia?

She's found an excuse to go all funny about it again

and make him feel bad about things.

No.

If anything, she's the one who's been trying to make out

it's not as bad as he thinks.

- Really? - Yeah.

And...

I think my granddad's right about me going to university

and getting a degree.

Not that I'm not grateful for the job offer, but...

I think...

On balance...

I'd rather stick to the original plan.

GILLIAN: He keeps going up to my mum's plaque,

at the chapel in Blackley where we scattered her ashes.

- Why? - Because he feels guilty.

Look, Gary, no one thinks you did it out of malice.

Well, maybe, I don't know.

Maybe he should feel a little bit guilty.

Yeah, well he does. So...

Well, should I apologise?

Well, you could try.

GARY: I'm sorry.

I am sorry, I don't know what else I can say.

- So, what was the big idea? - There wasn't one.

The came to interview me about the charity, the fundraising that we do.

And I happened to mention you and me and the thing that's happened

and suddenly the article ended up

being more about you and me than about the charity.

You know what journalists are like,

you're talking about one thing and they latch onto something else.

And I don't think this is anywhere near as bad as you think it is.

Most people wouldn't bat an eyelid.

Most people don't even read The Courier.

They wouldn't publish the thing if nobody read it. Course people read it.

People who know me read it.

People who knew Eileen read it.

It might only be a small handful of people,

but they're still very much alive.

Most of them.

Did it not occur to you to talk to Alan about it

at least before they published it?

Don't talk to me as if I were born last week.

You knew damn well what you were doing. Talking to journalists.

I know what it's about. You are angry with me.

- Not angry. - No, you're angry with me,

'cause you think I should've done summat to help your mum.

Well, if I'd known I would have done, but I didn't.

I didn't know about it.

But that doesn't help you because you are angry with me as well

for not knowing, not knowing you existed.

So, you want to lash out.

Yeah, I know, you probably know that it's irrational

but that doesn't matter either,

because all you want to do is humiliate me, I suspect.

Well, well done, you've succeeded.

Hmm.

Well,

that's interesting. It's rubbish.

But interesting rubbish.

(SIGHS)

Well, perhaps I should go.

I think we should get on the internet.

Get those tickets for Australia booked now. Today.

I think he touched a nerve. My dad.

I think Gary's various motives with that newspaper article were a bit dubious.

So, they're not speaking to each other.

Our Raff's declined, thank God,

Gary's very generous, thank you, offer,

to stop him going to university

and take him on full time, train him up to be something he's never expressed

any interest in whatsoever.

- Accountancy. - Ah.

So, that's how I end up in this...

Fix.

Peacekeeping.

My wedding is a glorified peacekeeping operation.

Okay, so...

Okay, so I think to begin with,

it's not a fix.

If you stand back and look at it,

it's bigger than you wanted.

Yes, but actually what is it? It's a few hours standing there,

smiling, and then it's all over. The chances are, I bet you anything,

you'll get to the end of the day, earlier, sooner.

Once the formalities are over and done with

and you'll realise that actually,

you're having a great time.

Or at the very least, it's just not that bad.

How are we doing?

What do you think?

Is it about something else?

No, no, no.

It'll be fine, come on, you don't want your dad to think it's his fault.

- Don't I. - You're really normal

to feel like this at the last minute.

I bet you've got all sorts of daft misgivings buzzing around in your head,

but you've just got to keep telling yourself that it's normal, yeah?

Okay?

- Okay. - You didn't want me to marry him.

Yeah. But we talked that through and you made the decision, didn't you?

(SIGHS)

Hair of the dog.

Does that work?

Never tried it.

I've no sympathy.

Yes, you keep saying it.

- Try it and see if it works. - What do you fancy? I'll get it.

What were you doing drinking till 3:00 this morning?

It was a stag night. (SIGHS) Banging headache.

What do you fancy then, lad? Brandy, whisky? Doubles?

All right, go on.

I think it must be summat else.

I'm wondering if I'm coming down with flu.

- (CHUCKLES) - GARY: Hello, Celia.

Oh, hello.

Rob, you're looking forward to Mallorca?

You'll love it.

I've told Mariella, the housekeeper, just to stay out of your way.

Here's that lanky streak of greasy shite I told you about

that she insisted on inviting.

You have got the ring safe, haven't you?

No, Robbie, I flogged it.

Are you going to say hi to Gary?

Course I am.

I haven't fallen out with him.

Mmm-hmm.

GILLIAN: Just going back to the other thing,

I'm not overly impressed with Robbie.

You're the one that's marrying him.

It'll be fine when we get there.

We've had more arguments about this wedding

than anything I can ever remember.

You see, I just think that's really normal, too.

Yeah, do you?

Gillian, it's agreed, we've accepted it.

Yeah, because of my dad falling out with him.

And then our Raff, deciding he's not taking him up on his stupid job offer.

It's booked, it's paid for, we've sent out the invitations,

you've been happily choosing all the stuff you want.

Flowers, menu, d�cor.

Only because people kept ringing up and asking bloody questions.

You're being... You are being irrational.

Just relax.

Just enjoy it, for God's sake, just go with the flow.

Is this about something else?

It's about not being in control of my own wedding.

It's about having my wedding hijacked by Mir Moneybags

and turned into a circus.

And you going on and on and on at me.

It would have been weird not to have accepted it.

It wouldn't, it would not.

- It would have been normal. - Gillian.

Stop being a twat.

Sorry, I know I should have done this sooner.

I thought we'd be setting off earlier. Be two minutes, literally.

I'll pay.

No, Alan.

No, it'll be quicker.

There is more to it than what I've said.

Okay.

- I shagged this bloke I work with. - When?

- Ollie. - When?

At the supermarket. Not at the supermarket.

In the back of his van.

- So, this is... - Four weeks ago.

(OLLIE LAUGHING)

- You all right? - Why do men giggle?

Cause it's silly.

What is?

Sex.

Obviously, shouldn't have happened.

Obviously, it was cause of Robbie calling me a twat, and I just thought...

Right, you... That is going to have repercussions,

whether I like it or not.

That is going to have repercussions.

- Was it just that once? - Yes.

Lashing out?

If you like.

Yeah. And this Ollie lad, he's someone that you've...

Had shenanigans with before.

Yeah, he's an old...

Well, I say old,

he's 24.

But yeah.

Bit of an old pal, yeah.

- Not the... - No.

Except, it's not like you're embarking on something new, if it was just...

- No, no. - A moment...

- Yes. - And that's how this lad, this...

- Ollie. - Ollie.

Sees it, he's not...

likely to kick up a fuss.

No, God no.

Except, he's... He'll be there.

- To the... - I invited him.

- Today? - Well, I sent the invites, didn't I?

Before I...

With him.

But he's not gonna say anything?

No, no, no.

- I don't know. - Jesus!

I doubt it.

So, is this...

something you want to tell Robbie about to get off your chest, before you...

No, no. I just needed to tell someone else.

All right.

I know you think I'm a right old slapper.

No, I don't. I don't...

Think things like that. I think...

You're an adult. People are what they are.

I don't like feeling trapped,

owned, chattle... Ated.

- That's not a word. - No.

- But you know what I mean. - Yeah.

I think...

You've got to shoulder the burden of the guilt, whatever.

Put it all behind you, tell yourself it happened,

won't happen again and move forward, yeah?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - (MOBILE RINGING)

CELIA: Where are you?

Well, we just had to stop to put a drop of petrol in the Jeep.

We'd have thought you'd have been here by now.

Well, we were delayed leaving the house.

Why?

- Well... - Where are you?

Sowerby Bridge.

You'll be another 20 minutes from Sowerby Bridge, at least.

No, I think we'll be all right if she puts her foot down.

Why were you delayed?

She were in t'bathroom.

Delayed?

They're in Sowerby Bridge, they've just stopped to get some petrol.

Gillian was delayed in the bathroom.

Listen, Alan, don't go racing.

Tell Caroline, for the sake of five minutes, you can be fashionably late.

None of us lot here are going anywhere, nobody'll mind.

Okay.

You want to get yourself a drink, Ollie.

Looks like kick-off's going to be delayed.

And everyone's here.

More or less, I think.

Gary's here.

Is he?

And Felicity and the girls.

Right.

I hope you're going to be civil to him.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

- It wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't... - Okay.

It wasn't just Ollie.

Okay.

Well, what else?

John.

John, it was John.

And that was your fault.

- My fault? - Indirectly.

Ooh, I'm dying to hear this.

It was when he thought you were shagging Greg.

Who thought I was shagging Greg?

He did, John did.

- When? - When he moved in, at your house.

Greg, when Greg moved in.

- John did? - Yes.

- John did? - My dad, shut up.

He stays out of my way, I'll stay out of his.

CELIA: Now, that's hardly civil, is it?

ALAN: You need to put your foot down.

What it's the best you're going to get.

CELIA: Well, I think it's a shame.

ALAN: Well, course it's a shame.

It's a shame he's the insensitive, self-centred sod he is.

- But there we are. - See?

I think you need to get over it, move on.

- What do I see? - I am over it, I have moved on.

No, you haven't. You're still angry.

It's because of this Gary business

that we've ended up with this

bloody, silly big do I never wanted.

CELIA: Are you still there?

I've got to go to Mallorca for two weeks.

Life's just full of crap, isn't it?

- Alan? - I'm going to have to go now, Celia.

- We'll be with you shortly. - Don't race, tell her.

- Yes. Yes. Whatever. Ta-ta. - Bye.

Hey, what are you talking about?

- Who? - You.

This Gary business.

You and Gary. Falling out.

It's the only reason I'm in this mess.

You know, the irony is it was me that rang you up

and told you about this stupid article in The Courier in the first place.

We shouldn't have said owt.

You'd never have seen it.

- You were in Harrogate. - What's that got to do with this?

Yeah, we're going round in circles.

Gillian, do you want me to turn round and go back?

Hey, hey, does she hell as like.

You see, this is it.

I'm not allowed to have my own response to anything.

Of course, you are.

Don't be so stupid.

It were you that wanted this big do.

- No! Oh! Shit! - Hey, hey!

CAROLINE: If you don't want to go, just say so.

I'll turn round, we'll go back. I'll ring someone.

My mum, and ask to speak to Robbie's best man. What's he called?

Dave. And he can break it to him gently. All right?

Are you serious?

CAROLINE: I think, personally, it wouldn't be

a great thing to do to Robbie at this stage,

- but if that is what you want. - You never wanted me to marry him.

You can't keep saying that, not now.

- Who didn't want you to marry him? - She didn't. Caroline didn't.

Didn't she? Why?

Just with Gillian having been married to Eddie

and all the trouble in the past.

That's just you know, that's all.

Oh, well, I...

- What were you saying about John? - John?

What about John?

GILLIAN: Thanks.

I went up to the farm, there was no one there.

And I found Harry wandering about with a baby and he said you work here now.

The farm?

You nutter, Robbie could've been there.

So?

I thought we said you weren't going to visit me again.

No, but...

I don't know. Couldn't think of anyone else, really.

Anyone else?

- For what? - To talk to.

What's up?

Do you get a break?

Um...

What are you doing here?

Hi, Gillian.

Is this fella bothering you?

No, you're all right, I can handle him.

I knock off at 6:00.

- A fella? - Greg.

He's the baby's father.

I don't think they're...

I don't think...

...they sleep in the same bedroom or anything.

Well they don't, I know they don't, Lawrence told me,

but he's there.

He's in my house

with my son and my wife

and it's appalling.

He's actually moved in?

They did a trial.

I thought yeah, whatever, that won't last.

Won't be able to stand that for more than five minutes.

But they love him.

Lawrence loves him, Caroline loves him.

Celia loves him.

It's all so...

I didn't mind with Kate.

Kate was, you know,

she was all right.

Really.

But this tosser...

- Who is he? - Well, if he's the baby's father...

Yeah, but you know.

What is he? Could be anything.

My God,

maybe they are having sex, I don't know.

Is this the bloke they fell out about

- when Kate went off and got pregnant? - Yeah, that's what it must be.

I thought she couldn't stand him, Caroline.

Yeah, well, she seems very fond of him now.

Well, she will be, if it means she's been able to get back to work.

He's such a... So...

Gauche. He wears flip-flops.

- Jesus. - In my house.

I thought they...

Bought you out.

The lesbians.

Yes, but one still has an attachment.

Obviously.

To the old place.

I offered to do that.

I offered to move back in and help out with the baby.

- Did you? - Yes.

Of course she turns me down.

She'd rather have him.

This bloke in flip-flops who allegedly she can't stand.

Why?

I asked her if there was an argument for me and her getting back together.

- Ah. - And she didn't...

- So you weren't just... - No.

Offering to look after the baby?

I thought it would be good for Lawrence.

- Obviously. - With his parents back together, but...

Hmm.

And none of it should have happened.

That's the tragedy.

Bloody Judith.

I didn't know she was an alcoholic.

Not when it started.

And then when I realised it was too late.

Caroline had found out.

Isn't it odd?

How one ridiculous mistake...

Can change so much.

I've got an idea.

But Simon, I have to say,

I think it would be more interesting if we more have a tribal thing going on.

Like some sort of Aztec-y name like,

Baranatawatoo.

Or something like, Mexiculpec,

or, Quezticultel.

- (KNOCK ON THE DOOR) - Oh, the door.

It was more a sort of,

Lea, Han Solo thing, you know,

"I love you." "I know."

And then he goes off and sacrifices himself.

Hi.

I'm just... Simon, can I give you a ring back?

Terrific, will do.

In a bit. Ta-ta.

- John. - Greg, how are things?

Good, good, good.

- Just thought I... - Oh, she's at work.

Bossing everyone around.

I shouldn't say that. Slapped wrist.

Yeah, I know, but she can be a bit...

But we love her.

I came to see you, actually.

Okay.

- Sorry, were you? - Oh, it's Simon.

He's my partner, my work partner.

Not me, I'm not... Not that...

Neither is he, not that it would matter,

if we were, either of us.

Although, I don't think I'd fancy him even if I was.

Or vice-versa.

But, no, he writes the scripts.

And I do the illustrations.

- Wow. - Yeah, we're very collaborative.

I tell him what I think,

he ignores me,

it works quite well.

Go through. What am I saying?

It's your house. Well, it was.

See, can't open my mouth without putting my foot in it.

I think I've had too much caffeine.

That's the danger.

You get so involved

you don't always realise how many cafetieres you've gone through.

Look, Flora, look who it is.

It's Uncle John. (LAUGHS)

Although, you're kind of her half step-dad?

If Lawrence is her step-brother,

are you, aren't you? (LAUGHS)

I don't know, can you do that?

Can you have a dad and half step-dad?

Probably not.

Because you and Caroline are divorced.

So,

I don't know what I'm talking about.

(BABY CRYING)

I brought lunch.

You're kidding me, so he insinuated himself.

They've been having lunch together,

and trips out with Flora and all sorts

for a week or two before you twigged on, apparently.

(BABY CRYING)

What are you doing here?

Oh, Greg asked me.

I was passing and he had to go to a meeting in Manchester.

- And he was going to take Flora. - Greg did?

To Manchester?

He never told me.

No, that's the thing, he forgot.

And so I said, "Well look, why don't I look after Flora for few hours?"

And he thought you'd be fine with that.

And you just happened to be passing.

Yeah.

And she's fine.

She's absolutely fine. We went to the park,

and looked at the geese,

and we had a conversation about Derrida

and deconstructionism.

Yes, yes we did.

I made a lasagne, it's in the oven.

And there's some salad and couple bottles of wine.

LAWRENCE: That is so... Wow.

That bit, when they finally catch up with Vex,

and he tells him the plan,

and they're like, "When are you going to do it?"

And he says,

"I already have," and then all the bombs go off.

That took ages. That whole attack on the flashpoint city.

- It's like the biggest... - Isn't that like Watchmen?

The inversion on the villain monologuing clich�

where it turns out they've already done it?

Is that? Have you read Watchmen?

When did you read Watchmen?

When it came out, in the '80s.

Well, yeah, that's what we were going for.

Beautiful, beautiful illustrations.

You're going travelling, Caroline?

Oh, I was thinking later in the summer,

when my mum and Alan go off to Australia.

I wondered about taking Flora over to New York to see Jennica.

Ooh, aeroplanes! (LAUGHS)

Hey, it's half past 6:00.

Three days in a row.

No colic.

GILLIAN: He just wanted to be a part of your life again.

So, it's like, if you can't beat Greg,

join him and prove how invaluable you are.

Okay.

That's mad, but what's it got to do with all this?

Now. You shilly-shallying about turning up at the wedding.

I thought you meant you two...

Yeah, well, just after that, that was when the...

Thing happened.

What thing?

Well...

Okay. All right.

Shit.

Whoa!

- Idiot! Did you see that? - (CAR HORN)

Jerk. You tosser!

CAROLINE: Oh, hang on.

ALAN: Is summat up?

(ALAN GROANS)

- Oh, my God. - That's all we need.

We can only be 10 minutes from the hotel.

We just need to ring someone up to come and fetch us.

- No signal. - No. Neither have I.

We should have gone through Halifax instead of coming over tops.

Yeah.

- Okay. Well... - Yeah.

- This is a sign. - What is?

From God. That I shouldn't turn up.

Oh.

I think, between us, we can change a wheel in 10 minutes.

And they're expecting us

to be a little bit late anyway, aren't they?

- ALAN: Yes, that's... Yeah, true. - So.

He's not changing a wheel. You're not changing a wheel.

You've got a heart condition.

Where's the manual? I can read instructions.

In the glove compartment.

You realise we're gonna get covered in

cack and goo and grease

- and general shite. - Yeah.

But we're not just standing here.

They'll all start crying. Would you like some champagne?

Cheese. How fascinating.

Yeah.

I'm Gillian's step-mother.

Cool, cool.

So you've only known her a few months then,

well, since she's been working at Patterson's.

No. No...

Me and Gillian go way back.

Oh, do you?

In what capacity?

(SIGHING)

So what's this thing then, that happened?

It's wonderful.

Well, potentially, it's wonderful.

You see... (SIGHING)

I don't know.

Even though she has...

come out of the closet,

I don't know that she wouldn't, you know.

I mean, we were married for 18 years.

We had sex for 18 years. She can't...

I mean...

She must be bisexual. Really.

Mustn't she?

So, if she can see that I'm there,

I'm around, I'm part of the team, part of the gang...

You know? Who knows?

Eventually, she might, you know, think...

"Actually..." (SIGHING) "He's all right."

I mean, she married me once.

Why is it too optimistic to imagine she might

wanna do it again?

- You all right? - Yeah.

No, you're not. What's the matter?

Oh.

- What? - Don't know.

You going on about her like...

Like...

You used to come over to see me.

Now, you come over just to go on about her.

I thought you didn't...

You weren't interested in me any more.

I thought we were just friends.

I don't know if me marrying Robbie is the right thing.

Why?

Just me.

I sometimes think, you know, that day...

When you both proposed to me.

I sometimes...

(WHISPERING) I don't know.

What?

Well, I wonder if I chose...

Chose the...

Chose the wrong person.

I mean, I know, you're a...

bit of a one, and that Robbie's probably,

very good for me,

but...

I don't know if that's enough.

I mean, I think, sometimes

you need a bit of madness in your life.

GILLIAN: Ah...

(HORN HONKING)

(SHEEP BLEATING)

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

- Sorry, sorry, sorry. - Ooh.

- Sorry. - Quick.

I knew it was a mistake before anything even happened.

It was why I wanted to do it in the first place that haunts me.

So, his plan was thinking that I'd have him back?

That is...

I think it still is, 'cause obviously, after that,

I had to send him packing again.

- That is so misguided. - Mmm.

(PANTING) So hang on.

So you've shagged

Ollie and John in the last...

It was more of a fumble with John.

- The logistics were a bit... - Okay.

- But yeah. - Okay. This is impossible.

Is it?

Easier to screw them on in the factory with the pneumatic thingy.

You need to stand on the lever.

Shift over. I'll do it.

No! We're keeping you clean.

- Stand on it? - Yeah.

(SIGHS)

Yeah. Then you got your whole weight.

(CAROLINE HUFFING)

Then you need to jump up and down a bit.

- (LEVER CREAKING) - GILLIAN: That's it.

(SIGHING)

- Is it shifting? - (CLANKING)

CAROLINE: Yeah.

(CREAKING)

CAROLINE: Oh, shit! Ugh.

Yeah, but it worked.

It's worked. Look. The...

There's just the other four to loosen now.

Oh, shit. (SIGHING)

You're doing really well.

I get covered in crap every day.

It's a matter of course, and it's not that bad.

Honestly, it's just,

it's just horse shit, that.

It's nice. It's friendly. It's good for you.

They're not carnivorous.

- So, you know, it could be worse. - (SIGHING)

It's just grass. It's...

It's grass and bacteria, really. You're a chemist.

Oh, no.

Okay! Let me...

No! No! You stand back.

One of is gonna get there looking decent, and obviously...

It isn't gonna be me.

Are you all right?

- (CAROLINE SIGHING) - She's fine.

One day...

We'll look back at this and laugh.

Or not, possibly.

Were those shoes very expensive?

You don't think it's going to rain, do you?

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

None of them is answering their phones.

(SIGHING)

- They must be stuck in traffic. - But it's 10 past...

It's past 10 past 11:00.

Oh, we knew they might be a bit late though, didn't we?

Did we?

You're surely not worried she's changed her mind?

I wouldn't put it past her.

Don't be daft.

Are you drinking too much, Robbie?

I just want to get on with it, Celia.

I've got a banging headache.

Well, Robbie, brandy's not gonna cure that.

She'd better not have changed her mind,

'cause you know, two can play at that game.

Can they?

(SIGHING)

So, is it true?

Who told you that?

The little thingy over there, with the baby, Ellie.

Ah, okay.

You paid Harry's costs.

- Well. - �46,000.

- Does it matter? - (SIGHING)

(WHISPERING) You don't know these people.

(CHUCKLING) I mean, God! You spent 10 grand on this.

I felt sorry for him, and...

I thought it might make Alan a little bit more,

you know, a little bit less

ill-disposed towards me.

- And did it? - No.

He accused me of trying to suck up to his friends.

Well, you had better not tell my father

that you have undermined his authority.

No, I'm gonna tell your father anything I like, it's my money. Yeah.

Sorry, Richard. I paid this 75-year-old man's costs for him,

because your ruling meant he wouldn't have a roof over his head.

FELICITY: He damaged the lock.

People were inconvenienced for weeks.

He was drunk.

It was an accident.

(GUESTS CHEERING)

GILLIAN: (SIGHING) Yeah. She had to changed the wheel.

CELIA: How did that happen?

ROBBIE: Talk about being fashionably late.

- I know it's a woman's prerogative... - A puncture?

Yeah, right up on tops.

Above Wainstalls, we couldn't get a signal.

I started to think that you'd changed your mind.

You've been drinking?

Hair of the dog.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine. I changed a wheel. It's no big deal.

What have you done with your shoe?

I think we might need a few minutes to freshen ourselves up a bit.

Is there someone's bedroom or a bathroom we can use?

This whole thing needs to have got started like 20 minutes since.

�10,000. They can hang on.

The registrar's got another do to get to.

Yes, well, I need a wee.

Some sympathy, actually, might not go amiss.

You're lucky we're here.

- Caroline. Come on. - (ROBBIE SIGHING)

(BURPING)

There was something else.

What?

It was weird.

- What was? - Yesterday.

Robbie, before he set off up here to his stag do.

(SIGHING)

I'll be off in the next few minutes.

I was just coming to say ta-ra.

Have fun.

Don't overdo it.

There was something I wanted to say.

To tell you before...

Before...

Before tomorrow.

What?

What?

(SIGHING) You know that night a couple of months ago,

when you told me about our Eddie.

That he used to knock you about.

Yeah.

Well...

I knew.

I knew he did.

And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I pretended that...

I didn't know, 'cause I did know.

Right.

I should have done something, and I didn't,

because he was me brother.

And then when you told me that night,

I couldn't...

I pretended like I'd never known.

It was cowardly.

I was a coward, and I'm sorry.

Okay.

You see, that's why

when he died, and I...

When you were arrested and questioned.

What?

That's why I was convinced that you'd done something to him,

because I knew what you were having to put up with.

And I feel like I've been living with a lie.

(SIGHING)

Some kind of deceit.

If I married you knowing that

and not saying anything.

So I've said it.

I knew.

I knew, and I did nothing,

and I'm sorry.

I'm ashamed.

Oh.

So if...

If I had...

...killed him,

would you have blamed me?

I lived in terror every day for years.

Terror for my life.

My sanity. And with a child to look after in the middle of it all.

And there were times,

and I know how much he loved Raff, but there were times when...

I lived in fear of what he might do to him.

- But he was ill. - He was mad.

That's what I meant.

So...

Could you have blamed me?

If I had?

No.

No.

But you didn't, did you?

(SIGHING) Thank God.

"Because murder is murder,"

he said.

(SNIFFLING)

And that was it.

I said I was glad he told me.

And that was it.

Which is why I don't think I can go through with it.

It wasn't all the other stuff, that was just...

Excuses. Rubbish.

You see,

I've always imagined,

in some...

mad, alternative universe,

that one day, I could tell him the truth,

and he would understand.

And he'd forgive me.

But now, I know

that he never would, ever.

He's a copper.

It's how he thinks.

I'm sorry. I should have told you that in the first place, before we set off.

That's why I couldn't come out of the bathroom.

I couldn't say it, so I came out with all that other shit.

Wow.

Yeah.

But if you pulled out now,

what reason would you give him?

Ollie, John.

Gary paying for everything,

me being bulldozed into stuff.

Or I could say I was upset about what he told me.

The he knew Eddie knocked me about, and he did nothing.

(SIGHING)

I don't know what to say.

(SIGHING) I should've listened to you.

It was wrong. I should never have got involved with him.

You were right.

- You were right. - I don't know what to say.

You've been a really good friend, and I've just...

dumped a load of crap on you.

- As usual. - Oh, don't worry about that.

It's fine. It's what friends are for. It's just, I...

(SIGHING)

I don't know what to say.

(SIGHING)

(SNIFFLING)

(SIGHING)

On the other hand...

He's such a nice man, and he's had such a...

rubbish life.

He was orphaned. His brother got murdered.

Died, and now...

(SIGHING) How could I think of standing him up

at the altar in front of all his friends?

Wouldn't that be worse?

Now we've got this far.

You know...

You can always get divorced.

Afterwards.

Yeah.

- (SNIFFLING) - (SIGHING)

I look ridiculous.

Yes, you do.

I, Gillian Allison Greenwood,

take you,

Robert Michael Greenwood,

- (BREATHING HEAVILY) - To be my husband,

- (BUCKET CLANGING) - (WHISPERING) Bucket.

Thanks.

To have and to hold

from this day forward

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in...

- (VOMITING) - (ALL EXCLAIMING)

- (LAUGHING) - (ROBBIE SPLUTTERING)

(PANTING) Sorry.

Sorry.

Sorry.

(ROBBIE PANTING)

- No problem. - (PANTING)

I do think it's flu.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not like I'm somebody who can't take a drink.

No.

To love and to cherish.

To love and to cherish

till death us do part.

(GUESTS LAUGHING)

- Hi. - Hello, lad.

- Alan. - How do?

- Nice to see you. - Is it?

- How are things? - Oh, fair to middling.

Well, you got here, anyway, so... (CHUCKLING)

Yeah, looks like it.

You look very dapper.

What does he want?

- Oh. - GARY: Okay, I...

GARY: What I want...

I wanted to you properly about what happened.

I wanted us to try and find a better way of dealing with things.

I'm just gonna...

Go see if Robbie's all right.

(SIGHING) Really?

GARY: One thing I did want to say was,

I think that

you might have been right,

what you said about me wanting to lash out.

Maybe I did. Maybe there was something in it.

I didn't that was when you said it, but,

these things aren't always obvious even to ourselves, you know, but...

Well, you're right, I realised.

There are things I'm angry about.

And a lot of it, probably, is irrational,

but that doesn't always make it any easier to deal with.

Actually, it probably makes it harder,

'cause you keep on finding yourself

going round in these silly little circles, and that's just...

That's stupid and irritating and annoying.

Like for instance, I keep wanting to say

"Didn't it ever occur to you to find out

"if my mother was pregnant before you just wrote her off?"

I didn't just write her off.

I know you didn't just write her off,

probably wasn't like that at all.

I tried to find her.

I stayed behind after 5:00.

Went through all the filing cabinets looking for an address.

I asked questions as well as I could.

Without arousing anyone's suspicions.

I felt terrible when she just disappeared.

You see, I do know all that. I can imagine all that.

But then, there are so many what ifs and whys that haunt you,

and I'm not normally like that, I'm normally someone who can just get on.

But,

it's been a shock.

And... I'm sorry if I've not handled it very well.

Well, for what it's worth,

I think you've both handled it very well on the whole.

I mean, it was never going to be easy, was it?

Maybe, when you get back from New Zealand and Australia,

we could have lunch?

Together, the three of us?

I'll leave you to it.

What do you think?

I want nothing to do with him.

Oh.

This isn't like you,

to be so pig-headed about something.

Yeah, well.

But it changes people, a thing like that.

I don't want to be constantly reminded by him

about that regrettable part of my life.

No, I know, but to be fair, it isn't his fault, is it?

I do think he's trying.

Oh, yes. He's very trying.

Give him another chance.

Why should I?

Kids are allowed to make mistakes.

He's not a kid.

They're all our kids, aren't they?

One way or another.

And we're the oldest.

Shouldn't we try to be bigger about things?

What, like you are with Caroline?

(SIGHING)

I know I'm not perfect.

There's two more over there you've not met,

Matilda and Rowena.

- (KISSING SOUND) - CELIA: Gary's girls.

Mmm.

Right. Here we go.

What?

He wants to upgrade our flights to first class,

you know, as a gesture, to say sorry.

And I know you think he's flashy with his money,

but I, for one, would like to say yes,

'cause it's a bloody long way to Auckland.

I'm gonna go home and get changed and come back.

There's no point hanging around looking like this.

I'm taking Flora. Then, Greg can relax and enjoy himself.

Thank you for today.

I'm sorry. I'm such a...

Liability.

Never a dull moment, eh?

(SIGHING)

How long you gonna be? 'Cause we've got a taxi picking us up at 2:00.

- Our flight's at 20 past 5:00. - Really?

- Yep. - Today?

Good planning, hey?

I thought you were going tomorrow.

No, no, no.

The sooner I can get away from this, the better.

Okay, well.

Have fun.

And you. Both of you.

New York.

- (COOING) - GILLIAN: When you going?

Monday.

Same day they fly off to Australia.

Wow.

Aren't we all a bunch of jetsetters?

(SIGHING) Okay, well...

You have fun too, and I'll see you when you get back.

Thanks. Bet you will.

I'll ring you.

- I'm coming back. - (BABY COOING)

(CAROLINE SIGHING)

There's no point staying there, not looking like this.

Anyway, I just kept thinking about the day we got married.

It's all we had.

One day.

That one day, and I spent most of it being angry with my mother.

(SIGHING)

Greg's been great.

Glad he persuaded me to ring him.

Well, I've kept meaning to tell you I wouldn't be without her.

It's been tough, but...

I love her.

I love her so much. (SOBBING)

I love her more and more every day.

(SNIFFLING) Couldn't imagine life without her, not now.

I just wish you were... (SOBBING)

Here to...

I wish you were here.

I've got to go.

(SIGHING)

I know.

She said, "No, I've got two of them at home!"

(ALL LAUGHING)

Really?

- Sorry, excuse me. - No problem.

- Hello. - Er, Celia...

says that you want to upgrade our flights, and...

I'd say it's very generous of you, and...

We'd like to say thank you and take you up on it.

Really?

And you're right.

We should have lunch when we get back.

We should try and...

find a way forward.

I'm...

I'm really pleased.

- All right. - (LAUGHING) All right.

What have you offered to pay for this time?

(INAUDIBLE)

- (LAUGHING) - Go, go, go.

(SHRIEKING)

I've been wondering.

When you get your results, before you go off to Leeds,

(SIGHING)... perhaps,

we should get married.

(CHUCKLING)

You think Gary'll fork out for us?

No.

Well done.

Anything for you, Mrs Buttershaw.

You can't put a price on avoiding deep vein thrombosis.

No.

(LAUGHING)

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