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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,378 Let's move out! 2 00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:27,046 Get in front of that wall! 3 00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,465 Follow me! 4 00:01:52,864 --> 00:01:55,658 My arm! I've been shot! 5 00:01:58,870 --> 00:02:01,039 Let me take a look at that. 6 00:02:01,915 --> 00:02:04,334 Want me to show you a little trick? 7 00:02:04,751 --> 00:02:06,836 Take your mind off that arm? 8 00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:08,922 Give me your hand. 9 00:02:09,005 --> 00:02:11,674 You may feel a little pressure. 10 00:02:17,889 --> 00:02:20,642 My finger! My finger! 11 00:02:21,059 --> 00:02:22,435 Works every time. 12 00:02:50,922 --> 00:02:52,674 You had better give up, SeƱor. 13 00:02:52,757 --> 00:02:54,551 You cannot kill us all. 14 00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:57,846 Nope, but I can clean your colon out quicker 15 00:02:57,929 --> 00:03:01,266 than one of them burritos with extra guacamole sauce. 16 00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:03,017 Ooh. 17 00:03:24,664 --> 00:03:25,999 At ease, Payne. 18 00:03:29,294 --> 00:03:30,336 Relax. 19 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,547 Do you know why you're here? 20 00:03:32,755 --> 00:03:34,215 Sir, no, sir. 21 00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,219 The promotion board report came out last week. 22 00:03:38,887 --> 00:03:40,847 This is the new lieutenant colonel list. 23 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,807 Your name is not on it. 24 00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,686 You get two chances to advance, 25 00:03:46,769 --> 00:03:49,105 then we gotta show you the hatch. 26 00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:53,610 Base admin is cutting your discharge orders right now. 27 00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:55,945 General, 28 00:03:56,446 --> 00:03:59,198 are you trying to tell me, in all this man's military, 29 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:02,952 there is no room left for a trained weapon of destruction? 30 00:04:03,453 --> 00:04:06,497 The fighting is no longer done on the battlefields, Payne. 31 00:04:06,581 --> 00:04:09,500 Now all the blood is shed in the halls of Congress. 32 00:04:09,584 --> 00:04:12,086 Warriors like us are becoming dinosaurs. 33 00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:17,842 There's gotta be somebody needs some killing. 34 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,845 I'm sorry, Major. There's no one left. 35 00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,181 You've killed 'em all. 36 00:04:23,556 --> 00:04:24,891 Good luck. 37 00:04:34,025 --> 00:04:37,904 It's been two whole weeks since I killed me a man, 38 00:04:38,154 --> 00:04:41,366 and already I'm starting to get the itch. 39 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:45,745 Problem is, I ain't got nothing to scratch. 40 00:04:47,372 --> 00:04:49,165 God, I'm hungry. 41 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,418 Hungry for action. 42 00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:55,797 Hungry for blood. 43 00:04:56,756 --> 00:04:57,924 Hell, 44 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,970 I'm just plain old hungry. 45 00:05:08,559 --> 00:05:10,478 Feel I'm getting weaker 46 00:05:11,312 --> 00:05:14,857 while Charlie's growing stronger in the jungle. 47 00:05:15,692 --> 00:05:17,485 I can't lose my edge. 48 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:20,405 I gotta keep my strength up. 49 00:05:20,822 --> 00:05:22,991 I gotta maintain discipline. 50 00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:26,285 Because the hard reality was, 51 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,871 I gotta get a job. 52 00:05:30,206 --> 00:05:32,000 And what better place 53 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:36,170 than somewhere that would allow me to employ my skills 54 00:05:36,587 --> 00:05:38,631 as a trained killer. 55 00:05:38,715 --> 00:05:40,883 Mr. Payne? 56 00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:46,681 This is a dramatization of a domestic violence dispute. 57 00:05:47,473 --> 00:05:49,225 You arrive on the scene to find a woman, 58 00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,269 played by Miss Goodwin... 59 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:52,478 Hello, ma'am. 60 00:05:52,562 --> 00:05:54,482 Claiming to have been assaulted by her husband, 61 00:05:54,564 --> 00:05:56,733 played by Mr. Shipman. 62 00:05:56,816 --> 00:05:57,900 Happy to meet you. 63 00:05:57,984 --> 00:05:59,360 Same here. 64 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:03,531 Your objective is to effectively neutralize the situation. 65 00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:05,575 Neutralize. 66 00:06:07,744 --> 00:06:08,745 Begin. 67 00:06:11,247 --> 00:06:12,582 He hit me! 68 00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:14,834 You like to beat women? 69 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:15,877 Officer... 70 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:19,464 You'll never hit her again. 71 00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,132 Hear me? Hear me? Huh? I can't... 72 00:06:34,437 --> 00:06:37,690 Payne, what happened? You've only been out one week. 73 00:06:38,274 --> 00:06:42,487 It's civilian life, sir. I had a minor setback. 74 00:06:42,987 --> 00:06:45,948 Listen, I made some calls, and I got an assignment for you. 75 00:06:46,032 --> 00:06:47,867 It's not great, you understand, 76 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,495 but it gets you back in the military. 77 00:06:52,288 --> 00:06:54,373 So after two and a half weeks 78 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:57,960 of living a civilian puke's existence, 79 00:06:58,711 --> 00:07:00,630 I was back in uniform. 80 00:07:01,506 --> 00:07:03,299 Back in the Corps. 81 00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:07,178 Back to the sweet smell of mustard gas 82 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,806 and killing. 83 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:14,310 Little did I know what awaited for me. 84 00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:19,482 I've toured 11 separate engagements from Iraq to Haiti, 85 00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:24,112 but nothing I did would prepare me for this newest assignment. 86 00:07:24,821 --> 00:07:27,907 I was told it would be my greatest challenge. 87 00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:32,120 It was sure to be a living hell. 88 00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:57,436 The glee club will be meeting at 3:30. 89 00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:11,200 Will the teachers please report to the quad for the science fair judging. 90 00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:15,371 Tiger? Tiger, come back here! I'm not gonna chase you! 91 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,300 What you running from, boy? 92 00:08:27,383 --> 00:08:29,635 She's trying to give me a shot. 93 00:08:30,303 --> 00:08:32,221 You don't like needles? 94 00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:37,393 Want me to show you a little trick to take your mind off that pain? 95 00:08:37,894 --> 00:08:39,896 Here, give me your hand. 96 00:08:41,397 --> 00:08:44,233 Now you may feel a little bit of pressure. 97 00:08:44,984 --> 00:08:47,403 Hi, I'm Emily Walburn, the school counselor. 98 00:08:47,486 --> 00:08:49,405 You must be Major Payne. 99 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,618 That's a mighty fine handshake you got there. 100 00:08:54,744 --> 00:08:56,412 You wanna wrestle? 101 00:08:57,455 --> 00:08:59,165 No, thanks. 102 00:08:59,248 --> 00:09:01,000 I wrestle with these kids all day. 103 00:09:01,083 --> 00:09:03,419 This one's usually my big helper. 104 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,171 Come on, Tiger. 105 00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:06,255 Nice meeting you, Major. 106 00:09:06,339 --> 00:09:08,591 Nice meeting you, Miss ma'am. 107 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:11,886 Tiger! 108 00:09:12,511 --> 00:09:14,096 Tiger, come back here! 109 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:16,599 I'm not gonna chase you. 110 00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:21,145 Mmm. 111 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,027 Come in. 112 00:09:36,285 --> 00:09:38,788 Major Payne reporting for duty, sir. 113 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:43,793 What? 114 00:09:44,210 --> 00:09:47,088 Major Payne, the new commandant. 115 00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:49,590 Oh, right. 116 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:52,468 You're in charge of the green boys. 117 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,012 Come again? 118 00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,098 The green boys. 119 00:09:57,431 --> 00:09:59,809 They wear those green things. 120 00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:04,855 You know, it's funny. When they stand in front of bushes, I can't see them. 121 00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:08,818 Why are you here? 122 00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:12,571 The ROTC program. 123 00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:14,407 I understand you've been placing last 124 00:10:14,490 --> 00:10:17,118 eight years running in the Virginia Military Games. 125 00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:19,245 I am here to remedy that. 126 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,625 We have an ROTC program? 127 00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:27,086 The green boys, sir. 128 00:10:27,169 --> 00:10:28,462 Oh, right. 129 00:10:28,546 --> 00:10:33,134 Between us, I don't care what you do with those boys, 130 00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:36,053 as long as you keep them out of my hair. 131 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:38,180 Is that all? 132 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,310 Oh, would you like a tour of the campus? 133 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,770 No, I'd like to see my men. 134 00:10:45,563 --> 00:10:48,566 Fall in! Move it, you idiots! Let's go! 135 00:10:49,984 --> 00:10:53,446 Come on, Williams! Let's move it. Get a hop on it, boy! 136 00:10:57,199 --> 00:10:58,951 Fall in, everyone! Fall in! Let's go! 137 00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:01,787 Come on, people! Move! 138 00:11:01,871 --> 00:11:04,373 Hustle, hustle, hustle! Let's go. Giddyup! 139 00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:07,376 Giddyup, giddyup, giddyup, giddyup. Let's go! 140 00:11:12,882 --> 00:11:15,051 Sir, the squad is formed, sir! 141 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:23,976 Carry on. 142 00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:34,862 My name is Major Benson Winifred Payne. 143 00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:38,532 As of 0800, 144 00:11:38,908 --> 00:11:41,494 I am replacing Major Frankfurt 145 00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:44,288 as your commanding officer. 146 00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,507 See now, what we have here 147 00:11:54,590 --> 00:11:57,927 is a failure to communicate. 148 00:12:01,806 --> 00:12:04,809 Do not attempt 149 00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:08,521 to challenge my authority. 150 00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:12,233 I have eight weeks to turn you gaggle of maggots 151 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,069 into a well-disciplined cadet unit. 152 00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:21,075 From this day forward, your sorry asses belong to me. 153 00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:25,913 You will not eat, sleep, drink, blow your nose 154 00:12:25,996 --> 00:12:29,875 or even dig in your butts without my say-so! 155 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,919 Know this. 156 00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:35,214 Killing is my business, ladies, 157 00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:38,592 and business is good. 158 00:12:39,135 --> 00:12:40,261 Boo-hoo. 159 00:12:41,971 --> 00:12:43,097 What? 160 00:12:43,264 --> 00:12:45,391 I have to go to the bathroom. 161 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,268 You hold it, turd. 162 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,061 I can't! 163 00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:55,443 I said hold it, or I'll break that off and kick it around on the ground. 164 00:12:58,612 --> 00:13:00,990 Now be advised, ladies. 165 00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:04,994 We are going to win the Virginia Military Games. 166 00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,037 I said win. 167 00:13:07,121 --> 00:13:09,915 Whiskey, Indian, November. 168 00:13:09,999 --> 00:13:12,251 Get used to the sound of that word! 169 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:13,961 Major Payne! 170 00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,797 What, boy? What? What? What? 171 00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,175 I did something bad. 172 00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:27,766 You nasty little worm. 173 00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:32,271 Go change your Huggies, boy, and be back here pronto! 174 00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:33,981 Stop that crying. 175 00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:35,941 You'll get no pity from me. 176 00:13:36,025 --> 00:13:39,195 You think your tears will stop Charlie from taking his bayonet 177 00:13:39,278 --> 00:13:42,031 and sticking it in your little tiny heart? 178 00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:48,037 What the hell was that, you little freckle-faced cartoon? 179 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:53,542 Did I give you permission to sneeze, Opie? 180 00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:54,668 No, sir. 181 00:13:54,752 --> 00:13:57,296 Then you hold it in, you big-eared turd. 182 00:13:57,379 --> 00:14:00,216 Otherwise I'll kick your ass back to Mayberry. 183 00:14:02,635 --> 00:14:06,096 I see we have a sickly boy on our hands. 184 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,891 Well, we're gonna have to boost your immune system, son. 185 00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:13,312 Drop down. Give me 25 pushups now. 186 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,772 Count 'em out! 187 00:14:14,939 --> 00:14:16,106 One, sir. 188 00:14:16,232 --> 00:14:18,025 Two, sir. 189 00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:26,200 What are you laughing at, pig boy? 190 00:14:26,742 --> 00:14:28,994 You find a piece of candy in your pocket? 191 00:14:29,078 --> 00:14:30,162 No, sir. 192 00:14:30,246 --> 00:14:31,705 What's your name, tubby? 193 00:14:32,081 --> 00:14:33,749 Heathcoat, sir. 194 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,251 Heathcoat. 195 00:14:35,334 --> 00:14:37,795 You know, you remind me of the Doughboy. 196 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,713 If I poke your stomach, will it make you go... 197 00:14:42,132 --> 00:14:44,802 You know what? I'm gonna help you make room for lunch, bacon boy. 198 00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:48,639 Drop down, give me 30 sit-ups right now! Let's go! 199 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:52,184 Count 'em out. Let me see that belly roll. 200 00:14:52,351 --> 00:14:55,020 One, tubby, tubby. 201 00:14:55,104 --> 00:14:57,314 One, sir. Come on, pork chop. 202 00:14:57,815 --> 00:14:59,483 Two, chubby, chubby. Two, sir. 203 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:02,653 You is a pure genius. 204 00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,363 Who are you? Redd Foxx? 205 00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:07,366 No, better yet, you Richard Pryor, ain't you? 206 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,578 What's your name, girlfriend? 207 00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:13,956 Dwight Williams, but my boys call me D. So you can call me D. 208 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,791 D, huh? Yeah, brother. 209 00:15:17,001 --> 00:15:19,628 You like the way I handle these white boys, D? 210 00:15:19,712 --> 00:15:21,213 Oh, yeah. 211 00:15:21,297 --> 00:15:24,133 It make you feel good to see a black man running things, huh? 212 00:15:24,216 --> 00:15:25,718 Malcolm X. 213 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,428 Well, let me tell you something, D. 214 00:15:27,553 --> 00:15:29,763 Yeah, brother? Why don't you come closer. 215 00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:33,225 I am not your damn brother! 216 00:15:33,309 --> 00:15:37,062 Now drop down and give me 20 squat thrusts now! 217 00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,066 One, sir. 218 00:15:41,150 --> 00:15:43,402 What are you looking at, ass eyes? 219 00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,987 Nothing, sir! 220 00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:46,530 You plotting on me, boy? 221 00:15:46,614 --> 00:15:47,698 No, sir! 222 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,409 Well, let me tell you something, ass eyes. 223 00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:52,244 Let me tell you all something. 224 00:15:52,328 --> 00:15:55,080 War has made me very paranoid! 225 00:15:55,164 --> 00:15:57,166 And when a man gets to eyeballing me, 226 00:15:57,249 --> 00:16:00,628 it makes my Agent Orange act up, and I get the urge to kill! 227 00:16:00,711 --> 00:16:01,754 Do you understand me? 228 00:16:01,837 --> 00:16:02,921 Sir, yes, sir! 229 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:04,590 Do you all understand me? 230 00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:05,924 Sir, yes, sir! 231 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,343 I can't hear you. 232 00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:08,927 Sir, yes, sir! 233 00:16:09,011 --> 00:16:11,764 And what is your damage, muscle head? 234 00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:15,434 You stupid, you ignorant or you just plain old deaf? 235 00:16:15,517 --> 00:16:18,562 Yes, sir. Actually, he is deaf. 236 00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:21,273 Oh. Well, thank you. 237 00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:26,487 Now drop down, give me 25 more for speaking out of line! 238 00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:30,491 One, sir. 239 00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:33,118 I'm sorry, Mr. Handicapped Man. 240 00:16:33,202 --> 00:16:35,579 I didn't mean to offend you. 241 00:16:35,663 --> 00:16:37,289 Do you speak sign language? 242 00:16:37,373 --> 00:16:40,167 Can you read lips? Let me break it down. 243 00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:44,588 If you don't answer me when I speak to you, 244 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,466 I'm gonna put my foot in your ass! 245 00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,259 Is that clear, dummy? 246 00:16:49,343 --> 00:16:50,678 Sir, yes, sir. 247 00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,307 Hold on, guys. Wait up. 248 00:16:57,601 --> 00:16:58,727 Wait. 249 00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,063 Hey, guys! Don't start without me! 250 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:03,023 Come on! Wait! Hold on. 251 00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:05,776 Coming. 252 00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:12,366 Hello, gorgeous. Welcome to my party. 253 00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:16,412 You know, you're out of uniform there, Mr. Fonzarelli. 254 00:17:16,704 --> 00:17:19,790 Yeah, well, I like this look better, General. 255 00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:21,500 Admiral. Whatever. 256 00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,211 It's Major, boy. 257 00:17:25,295 --> 00:17:30,300 Ooh. Looks like we got another major on our hands here, guys. 258 00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:33,470 Oh, major! Oh, major! 259 00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:43,188 What's your name, girlie mouth? 260 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:47,317 Cadet Alex Stone, sir! 261 00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,820 Yes, sir. Hey, ho, sir. 262 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:57,661 Well, I'm glad to see you've got a sense of humor. 263 00:17:58,287 --> 00:17:59,538 So do I. 264 00:18:08,297 --> 00:18:12,551 From now on, my little group of scrotum sacs, 265 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:15,471 you will strive to be like me. 266 00:18:15,596 --> 00:18:18,140 You will walk like me, 267 00:18:18,307 --> 00:18:20,350 talk like me, 268 00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:23,061 and until you win those Games, 269 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,815 you will be bald like me. 270 00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:29,902 Way to go this time, Alex. 271 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,738 Dotson, take these men for two hours of PT! 272 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:33,864 Yes, sir! 273 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,658 First exercise will be the side-straddle hop! 274 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,287 Squad, ready. Exercise! 275 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:42,247 One, two, three. 276 00:18:42,331 --> 00:18:44,500 Come on, bacon boy! Come on! 277 00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:50,297 Command, one! 278 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,841 Hey, Dotson, why don't you just sit down and shut up. 279 00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,051 I'm writing you up, buddy! 280 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:55,928 That's it. No more of this! 281 00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:58,222 Quit it, Dotson. You're scaring me! 282 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,978 Hello, Miss Walburn. 283 00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:09,983 Major Payne, could you please help me to understand 284 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,402 why you shaved the children bald? 285 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,615 Oh, that's my little incentive program. 286 00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,117 These boys have to earn their due. 287 00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:21,453 Their hairdo, that is. 288 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,418 Do they have to earn their bathroom privileges, too? 289 00:19:34,049 --> 00:19:37,219 What do you want, Mr. Pee-body? 290 00:19:37,594 --> 00:19:40,097 Well, he's upset about this morning. 291 00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,724 Apparently, he had a little accident. 292 00:19:43,392 --> 00:19:47,062 Apparently, he pissed all over the front of his pants. 293 00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,940 Well, maybe that's because he's six. 294 00:19:50,524 --> 00:19:51,608 Maybe 'cause he's six. 295 00:19:51,692 --> 00:19:55,028 Woman, when I was six years old, I had a fulltime job. 296 00:19:56,488 --> 00:20:00,993 Well, I told him that you have something that you'd like to say to him. 297 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,090 You think I owe you an apology? 298 00:20:16,925 --> 00:20:22,139 Want me to take back some of those mean and hurtful little things I said? 299 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,809 Okay. 300 00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:28,854 I'm sorry you're just a little turd 301 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:31,732 that can't hold your liquid out in public. 302 00:20:31,815 --> 00:20:36,695 Now you get on out of my face before I pick you up and toss you out of that window. 303 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:46,538 Major, have you ever done this kind of work before? 304 00:20:47,915 --> 00:20:49,207 Woman, 305 00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:54,713 under this here hat, I've trained 20,432 306 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:57,007 combat killing machines. 307 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,052 Well, that's just my point. 308 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:02,220 You see, now you're dealing with children, 309 00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,640 and children have special needs. 310 00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:08,477 Do you know what positive reinforcement means? 311 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:12,189 Is that anything like where you take a POW and you snap his neck 312 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:16,985 after you torture him so he don't have to go through life with a colostomy bag? 313 00:21:19,071 --> 00:21:20,322 Sort of. 314 00:21:22,366 --> 00:21:24,576 I'd like to make a suggestion. 315 00:21:26,078 --> 00:21:28,997 Why don't you and I become partners 316 00:21:29,331 --> 00:21:33,085 in the emotional growth and development of these little ones? 317 00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,171 What do you say? 318 00:21:39,007 --> 00:21:42,219 Can you be my big helper and help me do that? 319 00:21:45,263 --> 00:21:46,390 Yes. 320 00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:49,434 Good. 321 00:21:56,191 --> 00:21:58,610 Why do I feel like a jackass? 322 00:22:02,781 --> 00:22:05,367 Look at that! Baldy! 323 00:22:07,786 --> 00:22:10,998 Hey, your head's shaped like a bowling ball! 324 00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:18,547 Nazi fascist pig! 325 00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:21,508 I know where I'm gonna shave him. 326 00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:22,968 Damn Major Payne. 327 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:25,220 I didn't want you to be my damn brother in the first place. 328 00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:27,556 Most of the body heat travels through the head, you know. 329 00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,558 It means I'm gonna be colder, and I get sick. 330 00:22:29,766 --> 00:22:31,935 And if I'm sick, I'm gonna start throwing up... 331 00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:35,188 Man, that damn Payne's already starting to get on my nerves. 332 00:22:35,272 --> 00:22:38,025 Turd this, turd that. Who does he think he is? 333 00:22:38,859 --> 00:22:40,318 Just shut up. 334 00:22:41,903 --> 00:22:42,988 You telling me to shut up? 335 00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:44,489 Why don't you shut your damn mouth 336 00:22:44,573 --> 00:22:47,159 and stop eating all that damn candy, you fat pig. 337 00:22:50,537 --> 00:22:53,248 I look like Curly from The Three Stooges. 338 00:22:55,042 --> 00:22:57,377 Did I say you could touch my bed? 339 00:22:58,045 --> 00:22:59,046 No. 340 00:22:59,421 --> 00:23:01,048 Then get off. 341 00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:02,549 Ow! 342 00:23:04,092 --> 00:23:05,719 Payne's gonna kill us. 343 00:23:05,802 --> 00:23:08,013 You know I have a heart condition. 344 00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:11,183 I'm not sure he's familiar with my medical history. 345 00:23:11,266 --> 00:23:12,976 Let's go, let's go, let's go! Come on! 346 00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:16,229 Move it! Saddle up that horsey and ride! 347 00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:18,857 You ever hear of knocking, Dotson? 348 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,526 You won't have to worry about that anymore. 349 00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:23,612 I have good news for you assholes. 350 00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:27,157 Pack your bedding, your kit and your clothes! Let's go! 351 00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:28,825 Where to? 352 00:23:31,036 --> 00:23:36,041 Hello, cue balls. Welcome to the House of Payne. 353 00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:38,627 You gotta be joking. 354 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:42,714 A squad that lives together, wins together. 355 00:23:43,215 --> 00:23:44,841 Unity, turds. 356 00:23:44,925 --> 00:23:49,179 That is the key word in "unit" without the Y. 357 00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:54,935 Tiger, Leland, you will reside at the ROTC building. 358 00:23:55,811 --> 00:24:00,524 The rest of you garbage, grab a rack and settle in. 359 00:24:01,149 --> 00:24:02,692 Let's move out. 360 00:24:03,985 --> 00:24:06,238 You eyeball me again, I'll snatch it out 361 00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:08,824 and put it in Heathcoat's cookie bag. 362 00:24:09,241 --> 00:24:11,993 It's so damp. What about my allergies? 363 00:24:12,077 --> 00:24:13,745 You know how far we are from the kitchen? 364 00:24:13,829 --> 00:24:15,789 Why can't I stay here with the rest of these guys? Shut up. 365 00:24:15,872 --> 00:24:17,332 'Cause I said so, turd. 366 00:24:17,415 --> 00:24:19,042 Major Payne, sir. 367 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,044 What? 368 00:24:22,087 --> 00:24:26,675 Sir, I think I speak for everyone when I say that this place is unacceptable, 369 00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:28,176 sir. 370 00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:33,014 Really? 371 00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:36,685 Love my barracks night and day 372 00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:39,229 Love my barracks night and day 373 00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:42,107 Won't complain That's where I'll stay 374 00:24:42,190 --> 00:24:44,776 Won't complain That's where I'll stay 375 00:24:47,404 --> 00:24:49,114 Good plan this time, Alex. 376 00:24:49,197 --> 00:24:50,282 Why don't you shut up? 377 00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:53,201 All right, my little patch of Brussels sprouts. 378 00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:56,830 Uproot yourselves, climb out the pool and get some rest. 379 00:24:57,122 --> 00:24:58,915 You're gonna need it. 380 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:04,212 Tomorrow, ladies, we gonna start the hard stuff. 381 00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:06,882 The hard stuff? 382 00:25:09,050 --> 00:25:11,469 Let's move it, you turds! 383 00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:13,805 You'll get no sympathy from me! 384 00:25:13,889 --> 00:25:16,099 You want sympathy, look in the dictionary 385 00:25:16,183 --> 00:25:18,393 between "shit" and "syphilis!" 386 00:25:18,476 --> 00:25:20,687 That's where you'll find my sympathy! 387 00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:22,397 This ain't no walk in the park! 388 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,774 Let's move it! Hustle, hustle! 389 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,484 Hey, Dumbo! 390 00:25:26,568 --> 00:25:30,238 You should be able to fly through those tubes with them big-ass ears, boy! 391 00:25:30,322 --> 00:25:32,616 Yeah, Dumbo! Fly, baby, fly! 392 00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:34,659 Hey, Williams! 393 00:25:34,743 --> 00:25:37,495 You tell Marlee Matlin's son, 394 00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:40,498 if he don't get across that rope, I'm gonna hang him with it! 395 00:25:40,582 --> 00:25:41,625 He'll hang you with it! 396 00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:44,211 Heathcoat! 397 00:25:45,337 --> 00:25:48,590 You get your fat body over that wall! 398 00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:50,592 Take your fat pork chop body over that... 399 00:25:50,675 --> 00:25:52,093 You shut up. 400 00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:58,016 Nobody's leaving here until the average for this squad is one minute, 20 seconds! 401 00:25:58,266 --> 00:26:00,393 Come on, he can't do it. 402 00:26:00,477 --> 00:26:03,772 Leave him alone. I can barely do it. 403 00:26:04,105 --> 00:26:05,982 It's slippery out here. 404 00:26:06,107 --> 00:26:07,901 Slippery, he say. 405 00:26:07,984 --> 00:26:10,862 You think Charlie care anything about slippery? 406 00:26:10,946 --> 00:26:13,615 Only thing he knows is slit your throat. 407 00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:15,909 What if this was a life-or-death situation? 408 00:26:15,992 --> 00:26:18,620 But it's not a life-or-death situation. 409 00:26:19,955 --> 00:26:21,206 It is now. 410 00:26:22,415 --> 00:26:24,000 One Mississippi. 411 00:26:24,626 --> 00:26:26,127 Two Mississippi. 412 00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:28,922 Come on, guys! What are you, crazy? 413 00:26:29,005 --> 00:26:31,341 It's just a dummy grenade. 414 00:26:36,513 --> 00:26:37,639 Damn! 415 00:26:43,395 --> 00:26:45,146 Who's the dummy now? 416 00:26:48,525 --> 00:26:50,151 So what is it, exactly? 417 00:26:50,235 --> 00:26:51,528 Concentrated dithiazanine. 418 00:26:51,611 --> 00:26:52,946 What the hell is that? 419 00:26:53,029 --> 00:26:54,698 It's like a super laxative. 420 00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:58,618 This here will pack enough punch to take out an entire football team. 421 00:26:58,702 --> 00:27:00,829 Payne will never get off the can. 422 00:27:00,912 --> 00:27:04,291 He'll be making beef stool till graduation. 423 00:27:04,374 --> 00:27:05,625 Yeah. Nice. 424 00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:08,086 Payne will never know what hit him. 425 00:27:32,569 --> 00:27:34,195 Major Payne, sir? 426 00:27:35,739 --> 00:27:37,991 You see I'm eating, turd? 427 00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:40,994 There's a call for you, sir. 428 00:28:19,574 --> 00:28:21,576 He's coming! He's coming! 429 00:29:36,734 --> 00:29:37,819 Hmm. 430 00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:02,594 Ready on the right! 431 00:30:02,677 --> 00:30:04,429 Damn, G. He nearly put you in a coma. 432 00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:05,555 Ready on the left! 433 00:30:05,638 --> 00:30:06,848 It can't be legal the way he's been treating us. 434 00:30:06,931 --> 00:30:08,099 Ready on the firing range! 435 00:30:08,183 --> 00:30:10,103 Turds, commence firing! Let's just tell Phillips. 436 00:30:10,143 --> 00:30:13,354 No, no. That senile old fool ain't gonna help us. 437 00:30:13,438 --> 00:30:15,815 What the hell is that? What kind of shooting is that? 438 00:30:15,899 --> 00:30:17,734 Hey! Hey, dummy! 439 00:30:17,817 --> 00:30:20,445 What's the matter? You can't see, either? 440 00:30:20,528 --> 00:30:21,988 We gotta get rid of that son of a bitch. 441 00:30:22,071 --> 00:30:24,199 You gaggle of maggots couldn't hit a bull in the ass 442 00:30:24,282 --> 00:30:25,533 with a baseball bat! 443 00:30:25,617 --> 00:30:30,079 Listen, we're gonna have to prove that Payne did something so vile, 444 00:30:31,122 --> 00:30:32,540 so perverse, 445 00:30:34,042 --> 00:30:35,793 so disgusting 446 00:30:38,004 --> 00:30:41,174 that Phillips will have no choice but to fire him. 447 00:30:46,221 --> 00:30:47,555 Like what? 448 00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,061 Why me? 449 00:30:53,228 --> 00:30:55,563 Because you have got the biggest tits. 450 00:31:02,820 --> 00:31:04,197 Why not Wuliger? 451 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,324 'Cause Wuliger's gotta take the pictures. 452 00:31:23,132 --> 00:31:25,969 Look, it's been four hours. He hasn't blinked. 453 00:31:26,052 --> 00:31:28,179 I'm telling you, these Special Forces guys 454 00:31:28,263 --> 00:31:30,473 can sleep with their eyes open. 455 00:31:30,765 --> 00:31:32,016 Trust me. 456 00:31:34,644 --> 00:31:36,896 What happened to the other dress? 457 00:31:36,980 --> 00:31:38,606 This one's prettier. 458 00:31:38,773 --> 00:31:40,400 Shut up, Bryan! 459 00:31:40,483 --> 00:31:41,943 Shh! Come on. 460 00:31:42,485 --> 00:31:43,945 Williams, go. 461 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,745 Man, you sure about this? He looks awake to me. 462 00:31:53,788 --> 00:31:55,623 No, I checked on that. 463 00:31:57,292 --> 00:31:58,418 Watch this. 464 00:31:58,501 --> 00:32:01,212 Yo, turd sniffer. Maggot face. 465 00:32:01,462 --> 00:32:03,590 See? He's dead to the world. 466 00:32:04,173 --> 00:32:05,341 Let's go. 467 00:32:13,766 --> 00:32:14,851 Get in. 468 00:32:14,934 --> 00:32:17,228 Can't I just stand beside the bed? 469 00:32:17,312 --> 00:32:18,646 Get in. 470 00:32:23,985 --> 00:32:25,486 Get in. 471 00:32:30,908 --> 00:32:33,369 All right, now put your head on his shoulder. 472 00:32:33,453 --> 00:32:34,912 Are you crazy? 473 00:32:34,996 --> 00:32:36,164 Do it. 474 00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:40,668 Closer. 475 00:32:43,463 --> 00:32:44,547 Closer. 476 00:32:46,716 --> 00:32:49,344 Now put your arm around him. 477 00:32:52,430 --> 00:32:54,098 Good. Now hold it. 478 00:32:54,223 --> 00:32:56,517 Hold it. Okay. 479 00:33:05,485 --> 00:33:07,028 Hello, Betty. 480 00:33:17,622 --> 00:33:20,416 Got no worry Got no stress 481 00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:23,169 Got no worry Got no stress 482 00:33:23,252 --> 00:33:26,172 'Cause we feel good in our dress 483 00:33:26,255 --> 00:33:29,175 'Cause we feel good in our dress 484 00:33:29,258 --> 00:33:32,011 Major Payne's a major dis 485 00:33:32,095 --> 00:33:34,889 Major Payne's a major dis 486 00:33:34,972 --> 00:33:37,642 Makes us squat when we piss 487 00:33:37,725 --> 00:33:40,645 He makes us squat when we piss 488 00:33:40,728 --> 00:33:43,439 Got no worries Got no care 489 00:33:43,564 --> 00:33:46,109 Got no worries Got no care 490 00:33:46,192 --> 00:33:48,820 I'm a bald-headed son of a bitch without hair 491 00:33:48,903 --> 00:33:52,031 I'm a bald-headed son of a bitch without hair 492 00:33:52,115 --> 00:33:54,826 Used to be Samson Now I'm Ann 493 00:33:54,909 --> 00:33:57,370 Used to be Samson Now I'm Ann 494 00:33:57,453 --> 00:33:59,997 Gotta earn my right to be called a man 495 00:34:00,081 --> 00:34:03,000 Gotta earn my right to be called a man 496 00:34:03,084 --> 00:34:07,839 I'll tell you, ladies, you're the purtiest unit ever underneath my command! 497 00:34:08,339 --> 00:34:11,217 Maybe I'll have to change my name to Pimp Daddy Payne! 498 00:34:13,636 --> 00:34:15,096 Major! 499 00:34:17,515 --> 00:34:19,851 What are the boys doing in those dresses? 500 00:34:19,934 --> 00:34:22,145 They putting on a fashion show. 501 00:34:28,025 --> 00:34:32,447 I thought we had a little talk about this kind of negative reinforcement. 502 00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:35,491 Weren't you going to be my big helper? 503 00:34:36,701 --> 00:34:38,745 Yeah, but they started it. 504 00:34:38,911 --> 00:34:40,580 Well, I'm stopping it. 505 00:34:40,788 --> 00:34:42,457 Don't touch my whistle. 506 00:34:42,540 --> 00:34:44,167 But I was just gonna... 507 00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:46,252 Don't touch the whistle. 508 00:34:49,589 --> 00:34:51,466 All right, ladies! 509 00:34:51,549 --> 00:34:53,801 Take off those dresses. Head to your barracks. 510 00:34:53,885 --> 00:34:55,136 Fold 'em up neatly. 511 00:34:55,219 --> 00:34:56,471 Let's move it. 512 00:34:58,681 --> 00:34:59,807 You should shave your legs more. 513 00:34:59,891 --> 00:35:00,975 Shut up! 514 00:35:01,809 --> 00:35:03,644 Good day, Miss Walburn. 515 00:35:05,772 --> 00:35:07,315 Do you really think that this approach 516 00:35:07,398 --> 00:35:10,485 is the best way to gain the trust of these boys? 517 00:35:10,651 --> 00:35:13,488 They may not like me, but they will respect me. 518 00:35:13,571 --> 00:35:15,448 Let me be more direct. 519 00:35:16,157 --> 00:35:17,241 They hate you. 520 00:35:17,325 --> 00:35:20,661 Good. It'll draw them close together, make 'em a team. 521 00:35:21,996 --> 00:35:23,706 That's a very cynical plan. 522 00:35:23,790 --> 00:35:26,167 Yeah, but it won't backfire. 523 00:35:26,793 --> 00:35:27,877 Here. 524 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:31,255 I would like you to consider an alternative approach. 525 00:35:31,672 --> 00:35:33,800 I want you to have this book. 526 00:35:33,925 --> 00:35:36,219 Read it. Apply it. 527 00:35:38,304 --> 00:35:42,099 The ABC's of the Loving Male Role Model. 528 00:35:42,183 --> 00:35:43,851 I don't need your book. 529 00:35:43,935 --> 00:35:45,478 Take it. I don't want it. 530 00:35:45,561 --> 00:35:47,522 Take it. I don't want it. 531 00:35:47,605 --> 00:35:49,106 Please, Major? 532 00:35:55,780 --> 00:35:56,864 Okay. 533 00:36:10,378 --> 00:36:11,587 Shut up. 534 00:36:12,755 --> 00:36:14,465 All right, I got a sure-fire plan 535 00:36:14,549 --> 00:36:15,967 to get rid of that son of a bitch. 536 00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:17,677 What is it? What? What? 537 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:19,512 It's gonna cost us. 538 00:36:19,887 --> 00:36:21,305 How much you got? 20. 539 00:36:21,389 --> 00:36:22,473 I got 25. 540 00:36:22,557 --> 00:36:24,016 Put me down for 40. 541 00:36:24,141 --> 00:36:26,060 All right, Dotson! Yeah! 542 00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:29,105 Okay. All right. All right. 543 00:36:29,188 --> 00:36:30,565 We're taking out Payne tomorrow! 544 00:36:30,648 --> 00:36:31,983 Yeah! 545 00:36:35,903 --> 00:36:38,239 "Love is the key" 546 00:36:38,322 --> 00:36:40,074 "to understanding." 547 00:36:55,006 --> 00:36:56,591 "The Three Bees." 548 00:36:57,592 --> 00:36:59,427 "Bee a good listener." 549 00:37:00,011 --> 00:37:02,430 "Bee sensitive to their needs." 550 00:37:04,849 --> 00:37:06,809 Oh, hello, Miss Walburn. 551 00:37:07,810 --> 00:37:09,061 I just came by to let you know 552 00:37:09,145 --> 00:37:11,314 that Wuliger has a slight temperature, 553 00:37:11,397 --> 00:37:14,567 so you might not want to torture him this evening. 554 00:37:16,986 --> 00:37:19,780 I will be sensitive 555 00:37:20,323 --> 00:37:21,782 to his needs. 556 00:37:23,784 --> 00:37:25,995 Have you been reading the book? 557 00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:29,790 Well, I might have glanced at it once or twice. 558 00:37:30,082 --> 00:37:33,085 Oh, well, that's very good! I'm very proud of you, Major. 559 00:37:33,252 --> 00:37:34,295 Oh, shucks. 560 00:37:34,378 --> 00:37:36,589 It ain't hard being sensitive. 561 00:37:36,839 --> 00:37:38,716 He's back! He's back! 562 00:37:38,799 --> 00:37:40,051 Who's back? 563 00:37:40,134 --> 00:37:42,386 The man who lives in my closet. 564 00:37:42,553 --> 00:37:43,888 Oh, boy, get on out of here 565 00:37:43,971 --> 00:37:47,516 with that "I'm scared of the dark" crap. Go on, now. Get! 566 00:37:48,059 --> 00:37:49,393 Sensitive. 567 00:37:55,149 --> 00:37:58,361 Sensitive. Sensitive. 568 00:38:00,738 --> 00:38:04,951 Hello, there, fella. You know, what you're having, 569 00:38:05,284 --> 00:38:07,244 it's called a nightmare. 570 00:38:07,328 --> 00:38:09,664 Do you know what a nightmare is? 571 00:38:10,456 --> 00:38:12,416 Well, that's all this is. 572 00:38:13,668 --> 00:38:15,962 Why don't you run on back to your room 573 00:38:16,045 --> 00:38:19,090 before that man jump out the closet and chop your little head off. 574 00:38:24,845 --> 00:38:26,722 Sensitive. 575 00:38:28,099 --> 00:38:30,393 You call that being sensitive? 576 00:38:31,143 --> 00:38:33,938 Let me give you a little history on Kevin Dunne. 577 00:38:34,021 --> 00:38:36,399 Both of his parents are dead. 578 00:38:36,482 --> 00:38:39,068 Car accident, 1989. 579 00:38:39,151 --> 00:38:41,946 Lived in the Chelsea Orphanage till 1991 580 00:38:42,029 --> 00:38:43,364 when the school adopted him. 581 00:38:43,447 --> 00:38:45,366 I know all about it. 582 00:38:45,449 --> 00:38:49,412 Well, then you should also know that the last thing he needs right now 583 00:38:49,495 --> 00:38:53,165 is a sadistic father figure scaring the life out of him. 584 00:38:54,875 --> 00:38:59,422 Maybe what he need is for you to pop your titty out his mouth 585 00:38:59,505 --> 00:39:01,465 and let the boy grow up. 586 00:39:03,217 --> 00:39:06,345 Excuse me? What did you say? 587 00:39:06,429 --> 00:39:08,472 I didn't stutter. 588 00:39:08,889 --> 00:39:14,145 I said pop your titty out his mouth 589 00:39:14,228 --> 00:39:17,148 and stop babying him! 590 00:39:17,231 --> 00:39:20,735 I don't call it babying. I call it nurturing. 591 00:39:21,235 --> 00:39:24,071 And I call it neutering. 592 00:39:24,739 --> 00:39:27,199 And I call you an insecure, 593 00:39:27,283 --> 00:39:29,994 overbearing, psychopathic, dictatorial, egomaniacal, 594 00:39:30,077 --> 00:39:32,079 frigid lunatic asshole! 595 00:39:34,331 --> 00:39:35,875 I ain't frigid. 596 00:39:37,043 --> 00:39:38,669 He's still there! 597 00:39:41,797 --> 00:39:43,758 You wanna see nurturing? 598 00:39:56,645 --> 00:39:58,147 He's in there? 599 00:40:05,237 --> 00:40:07,698 If he's still in there, he ain't happy. 600 00:40:07,782 --> 00:40:09,158 What was that? 601 00:40:09,241 --> 00:40:14,080 Major Payne just terminated that bad man with extreme prejudice! 602 00:40:14,997 --> 00:40:17,792 And if he's still in there, he ain't happy! 603 00:40:21,462 --> 00:40:23,547 You run on back to bed. 604 00:40:23,672 --> 00:40:26,592 That bad man ain't gonna bother you no more. 605 00:40:27,051 --> 00:40:28,844 Thank you, Major. 606 00:40:29,845 --> 00:40:31,472 I love you. 607 00:40:40,773 --> 00:40:43,651 What's your angle, boy? You plotting on me? 608 00:40:43,734 --> 00:40:44,735 No, sir! 609 00:40:44,819 --> 00:40:47,071 Don't you know I could snap your neck in 20 different places? 610 00:40:47,154 --> 00:40:49,073 Major, Major! It's okay! 611 00:40:49,198 --> 00:40:52,034 He's just trying to show you some affection! 612 00:40:55,329 --> 00:40:56,914 I don't like it. 613 00:40:57,957 --> 00:41:00,376 Make me feel all funny. 614 00:41:12,763 --> 00:41:15,015 Good night, Miss Walburn. 615 00:41:15,099 --> 00:41:16,767 Good night, Major. 616 00:41:29,405 --> 00:41:30,447 Where is he? 617 00:41:30,531 --> 00:41:32,241 He better get here. 618 00:41:32,992 --> 00:41:35,452 Alex! Alex! 619 00:41:42,209 --> 00:41:43,502 Alex, did you do it? 620 00:41:43,586 --> 00:41:45,212 How much did it cost? 621 00:41:45,296 --> 00:41:46,505 Where were you? You really did it? 622 00:41:46,589 --> 00:41:47,840 I did it. I did it. Sure. 623 00:41:47,923 --> 00:41:51,427 Squad! Atten-hut. 624 00:41:54,388 --> 00:41:56,807 Let's go, maggots. Follow my lead! 625 00:41:56,974 --> 00:41:59,351 Payne's not here He's in our ass 626 00:41:59,435 --> 00:42:01,770 Payne's not here He's in our ass 627 00:42:01,854 --> 00:42:03,981 Butt's so tight He can't pass gas 628 00:42:04,064 --> 00:42:06,150 Butt's so tight He can't pass gas 629 00:42:06,233 --> 00:42:07,359 Sound off 630 00:42:07,443 --> 00:42:08,485 One, two 631 00:42:08,569 --> 00:42:10,487 Sound off Three, four 632 00:42:10,571 --> 00:42:12,156 Break it on down 633 00:42:12,990 --> 00:42:14,575 Break it on down 634 00:42:15,075 --> 00:42:16,368 Break it on down 635 00:42:21,207 --> 00:42:22,917 Break it on down... 636 00:42:25,586 --> 00:42:27,504 You like to rhyme, boy? 637 00:42:29,256 --> 00:42:32,092 What's your name? Bushwick Bill? 638 00:42:32,176 --> 00:42:35,095 No, let me guess. You Snoop Diggety Dogg. 639 00:42:36,013 --> 00:42:39,516 Turds, front leaning rest position. Move! 640 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,187 I'm going to teach you how I rhyme military style! 641 00:42:45,439 --> 00:42:46,440 One. 642 00:42:47,441 --> 00:42:49,235 Don't you feel dumb? 643 00:42:49,944 --> 00:42:51,111 Two. 644 00:42:51,946 --> 00:42:53,781 Look at you. 645 00:42:54,406 --> 00:42:56,075 Three. 646 00:42:56,158 --> 00:42:59,495 Don't you ever make no jokes about me behind my back. 647 00:42:59,578 --> 00:43:02,414 Otherwise I stomp you in the ground! 648 00:43:21,976 --> 00:43:23,769 All right, ladies... 649 00:43:25,521 --> 00:43:28,565 Hey, Dunne. You missed all the fun. 650 00:43:28,691 --> 00:43:30,985 That's another rhyme. 651 00:43:32,361 --> 00:43:34,613 All right, we're heading down to the field... 652 00:43:34,697 --> 00:43:35,739 There he is. 653 00:43:35,823 --> 00:43:37,700 For two hours of weapons drill. 654 00:43:37,783 --> 00:43:39,535 Yo, Payne! 655 00:43:44,832 --> 00:43:46,292 You Payne? 656 00:43:47,001 --> 00:43:49,211 I got something to say to you. 657 00:43:50,838 --> 00:43:52,798 Fee, fie, foe, fum. 658 00:43:53,007 --> 00:43:55,426 What beanstalk you fall from? 659 00:44:09,356 --> 00:44:12,609 You know, I heard you've been giving these boys a hard time. 660 00:44:12,693 --> 00:44:17,406 In fact, I heard you couldn't cut it in a real man's military! 661 00:44:18,032 --> 00:44:20,743 I heard that it's time for you to leave. 662 00:44:21,285 --> 00:44:22,578 Yeah. 663 00:44:23,704 --> 00:44:25,372 Know what I heard? 664 00:44:25,456 --> 00:44:29,418 I heard your mother was so fat, she played pool with the planets. 665 00:44:33,130 --> 00:44:34,214 Yes! 666 00:44:36,592 --> 00:44:38,844 You thinking about leaving yet? 667 00:44:41,347 --> 00:44:45,559 Well, actually, I think the party just begun. 668 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:53,150 Now, what I'm gonna do is take this right foot 669 00:44:53,233 --> 00:44:55,353 and I'm gonna put it across the left side of your face. 670 00:44:55,361 --> 00:44:58,238 Don't give me that Billy Jack bullshit! 671 00:45:06,372 --> 00:45:10,751 You said you were gonna hit me in the face. 672 00:45:11,251 --> 00:45:13,087 What, you calling me a liar? 673 00:45:15,964 --> 00:45:17,591 Ooh! 674 00:45:22,429 --> 00:45:24,848 Oh, children. 675 00:45:26,100 --> 00:45:29,812 Somebody's gonna answer for this blood from my lip. 676 00:45:31,021 --> 00:45:32,481 I want names. 677 00:45:33,273 --> 00:45:35,651 I wanna know who's responsible. 678 00:45:38,737 --> 00:45:41,073 Don't all run at once. 679 00:45:42,324 --> 00:45:44,952 I guess nobody's responsible. 680 00:45:45,244 --> 00:45:48,831 Guess I just had that one coming. 681 00:45:50,124 --> 00:45:52,668 Well, you know what y'all got coming? 682 00:45:53,627 --> 00:45:59,133 Seven 23-hour days full of fun and adventure. 683 00:46:00,342 --> 00:46:03,887 I'm gonna make you boys strong. 684 00:46:04,972 --> 00:46:06,014 Sir. 685 00:46:07,516 --> 00:46:08,851 Yes, turd? 686 00:46:10,727 --> 00:46:12,813 It was me, sir. I hired him. 687 00:46:12,938 --> 00:46:15,524 Well, that's one death warrant signed. 688 00:46:16,233 --> 00:46:18,902 Do I have any more volunteers? 689 00:46:19,987 --> 00:46:22,656 What about you, brown nose? 690 00:46:23,240 --> 00:46:24,992 I acted alone, sir. 691 00:46:25,367 --> 00:46:28,662 The rest of the squad was unaware of my activities. 692 00:46:31,331 --> 00:46:34,168 That's a pretty bold move there, Mr. Stone. 693 00:46:36,211 --> 00:46:38,964 What do you think I ought to do with you? 694 00:46:39,756 --> 00:46:41,425 I don't know, sir. 695 00:46:43,260 --> 00:46:44,887 You don't know. 696 00:46:45,888 --> 00:46:48,682 I guess you should probably expel me, sir. 697 00:46:49,516 --> 00:46:52,478 What, and send you on a vacation? 698 00:46:53,854 --> 00:46:54,980 Dotson. 699 00:46:55,063 --> 00:46:56,106 Sir, yes, sir! 700 00:46:56,190 --> 00:46:58,692 You are no longer the squad leader. 701 00:46:59,860 --> 00:47:03,822 Stone, you are now cadet sergeant. 702 00:47:04,948 --> 00:47:07,993 If these men win the Virginia Military Games, 703 00:47:08,076 --> 00:47:11,413 it'll be because you have led them to a victory. 704 00:47:12,456 --> 00:47:17,377 If they lose, it'll be because you failed them. 705 00:47:20,088 --> 00:47:21,882 I don't accept that responsibility. 706 00:47:21,965 --> 00:47:24,301 It's not negotiable. 707 00:47:30,057 --> 00:47:34,061 If I'm the new squad leader, my first order is to screw you, sir! 708 00:47:35,062 --> 00:47:37,147 What did you say to me, turd? 709 00:47:37,231 --> 00:47:40,442 Why don't you go back to hell where you came from? 710 00:47:42,027 --> 00:47:46,156 Boy, I am two seconds from being on you like white on rice 711 00:47:46,240 --> 00:47:49,201 and a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm! 712 00:47:49,284 --> 00:47:52,162 I will put my foot so far up your ass, 713 00:47:52,246 --> 00:47:55,207 the water on my knee will quench your thirst. 714 00:47:55,582 --> 00:47:56,792 Try it. 715 00:48:03,549 --> 00:48:05,425 You want me gone, boy? 716 00:48:06,009 --> 00:48:07,511 Yes, sir. 717 00:48:07,594 --> 00:48:10,639 I said, do you want me gone, soldier? 718 00:48:10,722 --> 00:48:12,474 Yes, sir! 719 00:48:13,141 --> 00:48:17,646 Then you meet me outside the ROTC building at 2100 hours. 720 00:48:18,772 --> 00:48:22,943 You ladies want me gone, you'll get your chance. 721 00:48:46,300 --> 00:48:51,346 Where is the first-place trophy from the Virginia Military Games? 722 00:48:51,430 --> 00:48:53,640 Wellington Academy, sir. 723 00:48:54,766 --> 00:48:57,811 I want that trophy. 724 00:48:58,061 --> 00:49:01,440 If you turds can bring me that trophy, 725 00:49:01,523 --> 00:49:04,067 I will resign my command. 726 00:49:04,901 --> 00:49:07,529 This is a black op, gentlemen. 727 00:49:07,613 --> 00:49:12,284 If you are discovered, I will deny all knowledge, 728 00:49:12,367 --> 00:49:14,995 and you will pay the price. 729 00:49:16,246 --> 00:49:18,665 That is my deal. 730 00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:21,960 Do you accept it? 731 00:49:26,089 --> 00:49:29,092 Sir, yes, sir. 732 00:49:30,552 --> 00:49:33,055 Then bring me my trophy. 733 00:49:50,364 --> 00:49:51,823 All right, guys, this is it. 734 00:49:51,907 --> 00:49:53,909 This is our big chance to get rid of Payne. 735 00:49:53,992 --> 00:49:55,619 We got two miles to get to Wellington. 736 00:49:55,702 --> 00:49:58,121 Now let's get it out of there as fast as we can. 737 00:49:58,205 --> 00:50:00,123 Let's hustle. Move it! Let's go! 738 00:50:00,207 --> 00:50:01,833 Go, go, go! 739 00:50:02,209 --> 00:50:04,461 This is your last chance, Dotson. 740 00:50:04,544 --> 00:50:07,339 What, you think I'm gonna come and help you make me look bad? 741 00:50:07,422 --> 00:50:08,632 Anyway, I've called my dad. 742 00:50:08,715 --> 00:50:10,926 I'm leaving this stupid school. 743 00:50:11,677 --> 00:50:13,553 Bye. Have a good time. 744 00:50:15,722 --> 00:50:16,807 Where you going? 745 00:50:16,890 --> 00:50:18,266 I'm going on a black op. 746 00:50:18,350 --> 00:50:21,019 No, no, no. You can't come. You're too little. 747 00:50:21,103 --> 00:50:24,564 Why don't you stay back here and guard the base, okay? 748 00:50:46,420 --> 00:50:48,714 What's the matter with you, boy? 749 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:52,801 They won't let me go on no black op. They say I'm too little, 750 00:50:52,884 --> 00:50:56,596 and no one ever lets you do anything when you're too little. 751 00:50:56,763 --> 00:50:58,098 Ah, phooey. 752 00:50:58,807 --> 00:51:02,561 What about all those stories about the little people that do big things? 753 00:51:02,644 --> 00:51:06,106 Like Little Red Riding Hood, them three little pigs, 754 00:51:06,648 --> 00:51:09,651 Spike Lee or them Little Rascals. 755 00:51:10,444 --> 00:51:14,156 You ever hear the story about the Little Engine That Could? 756 00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:19,244 Let me tell you that story. 757 00:51:24,249 --> 00:51:26,084 Once upon a time, 758 00:51:26,752 --> 00:51:28,879 deep, deep in the jungle, 759 00:51:28,962 --> 00:51:31,506 there was a Little Engine That Could. 760 00:51:31,965 --> 00:51:35,135 And he was chugging his way across the enemy line. 761 00:51:37,679 --> 00:51:39,139 Toot, toot. 762 00:51:40,140 --> 00:51:42,017 This Little Engine's mission 763 00:51:42,142 --> 00:51:46,354 was to take some AK-47s and a nuclear payload 764 00:51:46,438 --> 00:51:49,691 over the mountain to the 2063 Battalion. 765 00:51:50,275 --> 00:51:54,988 Needless to say, there was plenty opposition. 766 00:51:55,655 --> 00:51:58,241 You think that stopped the Little Engine That Could? 767 00:51:58,325 --> 00:52:01,495 No, siree, Bob. He just kept chugging along. 768 00:52:05,123 --> 00:52:07,000 Toot, toot. 769 00:52:07,876 --> 00:52:09,795 Not even when they climbed aboard the train 770 00:52:09,878 --> 00:52:12,422 and popped out the eyes of the conductor, 771 00:52:12,506 --> 00:52:15,842 and blood and snot was dripping out his eye sockets. 772 00:52:16,092 --> 00:52:19,346 You think that stopped the Little Engine That Could? 773 00:52:19,930 --> 00:52:23,558 Damn skippy. He just kept chugging along. 774 00:52:26,728 --> 00:52:28,396 Toot, toot. 775 00:52:30,774 --> 00:52:35,445 It wasn't until Charlie rigged a bridge with plastic explosives 776 00:52:36,696 --> 00:52:40,909 just as the Little Engine was making his way across the trestle. 777 00:52:41,868 --> 00:52:42,911 Boom! 778 00:52:42,994 --> 00:52:44,788 An explosion happened. 779 00:52:44,871 --> 00:52:48,124 Blood and guts and spit and ass was everywhere. 780 00:52:48,458 --> 00:52:51,253 And Bubba come crawling out the back door, 781 00:52:52,087 --> 00:52:53,713 both legs missing. 782 00:52:54,422 --> 00:52:57,050 Lula May's baby boy! 783 00:52:57,551 --> 00:52:59,928 He look up at me. He said, "Payne!" 784 00:53:01,847 --> 00:53:04,641 "I can't feel my legs." 785 00:53:05,225 --> 00:53:08,061 I said, "Bubba, they ain't there." 786 00:53:08,979 --> 00:53:10,772 And I looked down, 787 00:53:10,856 --> 00:53:14,860 and them little bloody nubs was kicking real fast, like this here. 788 00:53:14,943 --> 00:53:19,281 And I said, "Bubba, it's 30 miles to the nearest town. 789 00:53:19,364 --> 00:53:22,033 "Unless you can flip upside down and walk on your hands," 790 00:53:22,117 --> 00:53:24,160 "you ain't gonna make it." 791 00:53:24,494 --> 00:53:28,081 All of a sudden, Charlie was all over the place. 792 00:53:28,415 --> 00:53:30,750 It was just me and my sidearm. 793 00:53:31,167 --> 00:53:34,254 And I had no other alternative 794 00:53:34,754 --> 00:53:37,465 but to blast my way out. 795 00:53:41,177 --> 00:53:42,846 "Die, pig! Die!" 796 00:53:42,929 --> 00:53:46,600 "You'll never take Major Benson Winifred Payne alive!" 797 00:53:46,683 --> 00:53:49,519 Bam! "I saw what you did to my friend!" 798 00:53:49,603 --> 00:53:51,354 Bam! Bam! Major! Major! Major! 799 00:53:51,438 --> 00:53:52,772 Bam! Bam! 800 00:53:55,942 --> 00:53:57,736 Hello, Miss Walburn. 801 00:53:58,361 --> 00:54:00,989 You just missed a little bedtime story. 802 00:54:02,490 --> 00:54:04,576 No. I didn't, actually. 803 00:54:06,328 --> 00:54:10,081 In fact, I'd love to talk to you about that story. 804 00:54:11,625 --> 00:54:13,376 Perhaps over dinner? 805 00:54:17,005 --> 00:54:18,131 Okay. 806 00:54:19,799 --> 00:54:21,676 Okay. I'll go get ready. 807 00:54:22,177 --> 00:54:23,428 Me too. 808 00:54:23,511 --> 00:54:24,638 Okay. 809 00:54:24,721 --> 00:54:25,972 Okay. 810 00:54:26,973 --> 00:54:28,058 Okay. 811 00:54:28,141 --> 00:54:30,143 All right. Bye. 812 00:54:32,979 --> 00:54:34,606 To be continued. 813 00:54:34,814 --> 00:54:38,234 When I come back, I'll tell you what Bubba used as a penis. 814 00:55:35,250 --> 00:55:37,293 Well, ain't you gonna eat? 815 00:55:38,044 --> 00:55:41,589 I think I'll wait a moment. My stomach's a little upset. 816 00:55:42,424 --> 00:55:45,385 Them some mighty fine vittles. 817 00:55:45,468 --> 00:55:47,595 Wouldn't let 'em go to waste. 818 00:55:49,472 --> 00:55:52,559 You know, I think you're really making some wonderful strides 819 00:55:52,642 --> 00:55:55,562 with the way you're dealing with the children. 820 00:55:56,312 --> 00:56:00,567 That was almost a really good thing you tried to do for Tiger tonight. 821 00:56:01,943 --> 00:56:04,029 May I make a suggestion? 822 00:56:06,406 --> 00:56:07,657 Proceed. 823 00:56:09,492 --> 00:56:11,995 Well, your story, while colorful, 824 00:56:13,538 --> 00:56:15,206 was a bit rough. 825 00:56:17,375 --> 00:56:19,252 You mean the explosion? 826 00:56:20,378 --> 00:56:24,090 Yes. And the eye-gouging part. 827 00:56:25,383 --> 00:56:27,427 You need to loosen up. 828 00:56:28,011 --> 00:56:30,305 Not everything can be about war. 829 00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:35,810 What do you like to do for fun? 830 00:56:40,648 --> 00:56:43,234 I like to hang upside down blindfolded, 831 00:56:43,318 --> 00:56:46,154 and then I take my gun apart and I put it back together real fast 832 00:56:46,237 --> 00:56:48,448 before my nose starts to bleed. 833 00:56:51,451 --> 00:56:53,203 Well, that's great. 834 00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:58,708 But is there anything that you like that doesn't have to do with battle? 835 00:56:58,792 --> 00:57:00,335 Like what? 836 00:57:00,418 --> 00:57:01,753 Like golf. 837 00:57:02,962 --> 00:57:04,297 Negative. 838 00:57:05,632 --> 00:57:08,051 Well, do you like to go to the movies? 839 00:57:09,427 --> 00:57:10,804 Negative. 840 00:57:17,644 --> 00:57:19,687 I don't suppose you dance. 841 00:57:23,858 --> 00:57:27,654 I've been known to cut a little rug in my day. 842 00:57:43,211 --> 00:57:45,171 Ain't you gonna dance? 843 00:57:45,797 --> 00:57:47,006 Benson. 844 00:57:53,138 --> 00:57:54,347 Benson, 845 00:57:54,681 --> 00:57:57,100 nobody does the robot anymore. 846 00:57:57,767 --> 00:58:01,437 Then I guess I gotta dig further into my repertoire. 847 00:59:13,176 --> 00:59:16,804 Williams, you take these guys and fan out the left flank of the school. Go! 848 00:59:16,888 --> 00:59:18,097 Got you. 849 00:59:18,806 --> 00:59:22,268 Wuliger, you take these two and cover the right. Got it? 850 00:59:22,352 --> 00:59:24,395 Got it. All right, come on! 851 01:00:32,630 --> 01:00:34,215 Don't move. 852 01:00:53,693 --> 01:00:55,695 Madison is a loser. 853 01:01:04,579 --> 01:01:06,706 Man, get in there. 854 01:01:19,886 --> 01:01:23,306 All right? And then his chest cavity exploded. 855 01:01:23,389 --> 01:01:24,474 Boom! 856 01:01:26,434 --> 01:01:28,353 You know, that was the first time 857 01:01:28,436 --> 01:01:31,647 I ever drove a man's nose up into his brain 858 01:01:31,731 --> 01:01:35,735 causing instant death and simultaneous bowel evacuation. 859 01:01:36,819 --> 01:01:39,739 But enough about me, woman. What's your story? 860 01:01:40,698 --> 01:01:43,826 I'm surprised you ain't dropped about 12 puppies by now. 861 01:01:45,036 --> 01:01:47,163 Ain't you never been married? 862 01:01:47,914 --> 01:01:49,749 Yeah, I was. 863 01:01:49,916 --> 01:01:52,627 What happened? You terminate his command? 864 01:01:53,211 --> 01:01:55,421 No. Actually, he left. 865 01:01:57,090 --> 01:01:59,217 I wanted children. He didn't. 866 01:02:01,094 --> 01:02:04,138 Any man that would leave you ought to be monkey stomped 867 01:02:04,222 --> 01:02:07,183 and have his brains mailed back to his mother. 868 01:02:09,018 --> 01:02:10,978 Well, thank you, Benson. 869 01:02:13,940 --> 01:02:15,525 How about you? 870 01:02:15,608 --> 01:02:18,069 Was there ever a Mrs. Payne? 871 01:02:18,277 --> 01:02:19,529 Negative. 872 01:02:19,612 --> 01:02:22,240 I figure if the Marines wanted me to have a wife, 873 01:02:22,323 --> 01:02:23,658 they'd have issued me one. 874 01:02:28,621 --> 01:02:30,081 Well, 875 01:02:31,124 --> 01:02:33,835 I had a really nice time tonight, Benson. 876 01:02:34,293 --> 01:02:38,005 Heck, being with you is almost better than cleaning my gun. 877 01:02:41,884 --> 01:02:42,885 I got something for you. 878 01:02:42,969 --> 01:02:44,512 Oh, what is it? 879 01:02:44,887 --> 01:02:46,222 It's a bullet. 880 01:02:49,183 --> 01:02:51,102 It's something special. 881 01:02:52,103 --> 01:02:53,813 It's from my heart. 882 01:02:56,649 --> 01:02:59,152 Really? Well, where'd you get it? 883 01:03:00,111 --> 01:03:01,070 From my heart. 884 01:03:01,154 --> 01:03:04,657 Left ventricle. I took it out myself with a field knife. 885 01:03:05,158 --> 01:03:07,285 And I want you to have that. 886 01:03:09,996 --> 01:03:11,664 Thank you, Benson. 887 01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:31,184 Good night. 888 01:03:34,854 --> 01:03:36,689 Good night, princess. 889 01:03:52,872 --> 01:03:55,041 Wee, doggie! 890 01:04:17,855 --> 01:04:21,108 What the hell are you doing in my office? 891 01:04:22,235 --> 01:04:24,237 It was a trap. 892 01:04:24,862 --> 01:04:26,364 You set us up. 893 01:04:26,822 --> 01:04:29,617 I might have made a little anonymous call. 894 01:04:30,409 --> 01:04:34,080 You didn't think they were just gonna hand it to you, did you? 895 01:04:34,163 --> 01:04:37,250 We got the crap kicked out of us because of you. 896 01:04:37,917 --> 01:04:40,753 Tonight wasn't about fair or unfair. 897 01:04:41,254 --> 01:04:43,839 It was about achieving your objective. 898 01:04:45,716 --> 01:04:46,926 Did you? 899 01:04:47,843 --> 01:04:49,971 Did you even see that trophy? 900 01:04:51,430 --> 01:04:52,807 Oh, I saw it. 901 01:04:53,266 --> 01:04:56,769 And when you saw it, did you want it? 902 01:04:57,395 --> 01:04:59,105 Yeah, to get rid of you. 903 01:04:59,188 --> 01:05:01,440 That's not what I asked. 904 01:05:02,024 --> 01:05:03,609 Did you want it? 905 01:05:04,694 --> 01:05:06,112 I wanted it. 906 01:05:06,445 --> 01:05:07,780 To own it? 907 01:05:08,155 --> 01:05:09,282 Yeah. 908 01:05:09,490 --> 01:05:11,117 Deserve it? Yeah. 909 01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:13,202 To win it? Oh, yeah. 910 01:05:13,411 --> 01:05:16,038 Then let's win it, you bruised-up turd! 911 01:05:16,289 --> 01:05:19,542 If you really want it, I'll show you how to earn it. 912 01:05:25,506 --> 01:05:28,676 Welcome, parents, to Madison School. 913 01:05:28,759 --> 01:05:33,764 For your convenience, we will be announcing activities throughout the day. 914 01:05:45,735 --> 01:05:47,987 Hey, Heathcoat, your parents coming today? 915 01:05:48,070 --> 01:05:50,197 No, of course not. 916 01:05:50,656 --> 01:05:51,741 How about you, Williams? 917 01:05:51,824 --> 01:05:54,035 What, are you kidding? Shut up. 918 01:05:54,118 --> 01:05:58,164 My parents said they'd come, but I said I got allergies... 919 01:06:00,499 --> 01:06:02,668 What the hell happened to you? 920 01:06:05,046 --> 01:06:07,298 Me? Nothing. I'm great. 921 01:06:09,342 --> 01:06:10,843 Look at you, though. 922 01:06:11,927 --> 01:06:13,971 Regular little soldier man. 923 01:06:15,056 --> 01:06:16,807 You a hard ass now? 924 01:06:17,892 --> 01:06:19,477 What are you doing here? 925 01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:23,272 It's Parents Day, and I am your legal guardian. 926 01:06:25,232 --> 01:06:26,484 You're drunk. 927 01:06:26,567 --> 01:06:28,694 Don't you walk away from me. 928 01:06:30,488 --> 01:06:31,530 Oh. 929 01:06:34,283 --> 01:06:36,202 Give me a little salute. 930 01:06:36,327 --> 01:06:38,329 I'm not gonna salute you. 931 01:06:38,579 --> 01:06:40,581 You salute your superiors. 932 01:06:40,831 --> 01:06:42,667 Or don't they teach that around here? 933 01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:44,418 What superior? 934 01:06:44,502 --> 01:06:46,712 They kicked you out, remember? 935 01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:50,299 Don't you sass me like your mother. 936 01:06:53,177 --> 01:06:55,554 You're mine now. I own you, 937 01:06:55,721 --> 01:06:57,723 and you will respect me. 938 01:06:59,892 --> 01:07:01,560 Now you salute me. 939 01:07:01,936 --> 01:07:02,978 No. 940 01:07:04,397 --> 01:07:07,942 You hit that boy again, I'm gonna do more than salute you. 941 01:07:08,067 --> 01:07:09,610 This is between me and my son. 942 01:07:09,694 --> 01:07:10,820 Stepson. 943 01:07:10,903 --> 01:07:13,572 Whoever he is, he's on my time now. 944 01:07:30,965 --> 01:07:32,633 Now I'm gonna ask you nicely. 945 01:07:32,717 --> 01:07:35,219 Please return to your vehicle. 946 01:07:38,139 --> 01:07:39,640 You go on now. 947 01:08:02,246 --> 01:08:04,373 Go on back to your bunk, son. 948 01:08:10,337 --> 01:08:11,964 Major Payne, sir. 949 01:08:12,798 --> 01:08:13,924 Yeah. 950 01:08:15,843 --> 01:08:17,970 I wanna get that trophy, sir. 951 01:08:19,680 --> 01:08:21,056 Come again? 952 01:08:21,474 --> 01:08:23,642 I wanna get that trophy, sir. 953 01:08:24,059 --> 01:08:26,103 What, you want to steal it? 954 01:08:26,353 --> 01:08:27,480 No, sir. 955 01:08:27,563 --> 01:08:29,315 You want to win it? 956 01:08:29,440 --> 01:08:31,317 I want to earn it, sir. 957 01:08:33,277 --> 01:08:35,905 The rest of your men feel the same way? 958 01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:41,952 Meet me on the parade ground, 1700 hours. 959 01:08:42,661 --> 01:08:44,330 We got work to do. 960 01:08:45,122 --> 01:08:46,916 Squad, atten-hut! 961 01:09:57,945 --> 01:10:00,739 Two. Three. 962 01:10:01,490 --> 01:10:03,993 Four. Five. 963 01:10:05,452 --> 01:10:06,537 Six. 964 01:10:07,329 --> 01:10:08,497 Seven. 965 01:10:09,081 --> 01:10:10,249 Eight. 966 01:10:18,799 --> 01:10:21,510 Forty inches breast to back. 967 01:11:27,159 --> 01:11:28,369 Squad! 968 01:11:28,827 --> 01:11:30,412 Atten-hut! 969 01:11:31,872 --> 01:11:34,124 Present arms! 970 01:11:35,501 --> 01:11:38,045 Order arms! 971 01:11:38,837 --> 01:11:41,173 Left face! 972 01:11:44,176 --> 01:11:46,095 Right face! 973 01:11:47,763 --> 01:11:50,057 Parade rest! 974 01:11:54,770 --> 01:11:56,897 You're still a shit sandwich. 975 01:11:58,065 --> 01:12:00,192 You're just not a soggy one. 976 01:12:01,068 --> 01:12:04,029 From now on, you are no longer turds. 977 01:12:04,405 --> 01:12:07,449 You've graduated to maggots. 978 01:12:08,242 --> 01:12:10,035 You're a family. 979 01:12:10,369 --> 01:12:11,704 A team. 980 01:12:12,454 --> 01:12:14,248 Let's win them Games. 981 01:12:27,219 --> 01:12:28,345 Squad! 982 01:12:28,429 --> 01:12:30,222 Atten-hut! 983 01:12:31,390 --> 01:12:32,975 General on deck. 984 01:12:41,567 --> 01:12:45,946 Major, I have news so good I've decided to deliver it personally. 985 01:12:46,530 --> 01:12:48,198 America needs you. 986 01:12:48,365 --> 01:12:52,369 There's a situation in Bosnia that requires your special services. 987 01:12:52,619 --> 01:12:53,787 As of this moment, 988 01:12:53,871 --> 01:12:56,665 you are reinstated in the United States Marines 989 01:12:56,749 --> 01:12:58,500 at the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. 990 01:12:58,584 --> 01:13:00,127 Thank you, sir. 991 01:13:00,419 --> 01:13:02,046 Congratulations. 992 01:13:02,588 --> 01:13:04,339 Your unit will be leaving out of Washington. 993 01:13:04,423 --> 01:13:07,426 You will arrive tomorrow at 1600 for briefing. 994 01:13:07,593 --> 01:13:09,470 Here are your tickets. 995 01:13:11,930 --> 01:13:15,726 General, tomorrow are the Military Games, and I was hoping... 996 01:13:15,809 --> 01:13:17,102 Games? 997 01:13:17,186 --> 01:13:20,272 Payne, I fought to get you reinstated. 998 01:13:21,356 --> 01:13:23,442 You wanted in. I got you in. 999 01:13:24,193 --> 01:13:27,488 You don't take this, there won't be any more chances. 1000 01:13:34,286 --> 01:13:36,663 Sir, the Major will be there, sir. 1001 01:13:37,289 --> 01:13:38,582 Good man. 1002 01:13:39,374 --> 01:13:41,418 I'll see you in Washington. 1003 01:14:01,855 --> 01:14:03,649 Hey, hey, hey, Major. 1004 01:14:03,899 --> 01:14:05,484 Where you going? 1005 01:14:05,859 --> 01:14:08,362 Back to killing. You wanna come? 1006 01:14:10,030 --> 01:14:11,698 I didn't think so. 1007 01:14:13,158 --> 01:14:15,327 Go lead your men into victory. 1008 01:14:16,370 --> 01:14:19,331 Great. What happened to unity and family 1009 01:14:19,414 --> 01:14:22,292 and all that other bullshit that you taught us? 1010 01:14:22,376 --> 01:14:25,129 Hey, I never said families don't break up. 1011 01:14:26,004 --> 01:14:27,881 Don't you watch Oprah? 1012 01:14:49,069 --> 01:14:51,697 So it's true. You're just gonna leave. 1013 01:14:57,870 --> 01:15:00,497 You know, when they're through with you, 1014 01:15:00,747 --> 01:15:03,375 they're just gonna cut you loose again. 1015 01:15:04,001 --> 01:15:05,627 I asked to leave. 1016 01:15:06,253 --> 01:15:08,380 Them boys are making me soft. 1017 01:15:08,505 --> 01:15:10,507 Them boys need you. 1018 01:15:11,884 --> 01:15:14,303 All that hard work they did, they did for you. 1019 01:15:14,386 --> 01:15:16,388 They did it for themselves. 1020 01:15:16,513 --> 01:15:17,723 Benson. 1021 01:15:17,890 --> 01:15:19,349 Look, woman. 1022 01:15:19,433 --> 01:15:22,102 I toured 11 separate engagements. 1023 01:15:22,186 --> 01:15:23,145 I didn't do all that 1024 01:15:23,228 --> 01:15:27,065 to come back and be conquered by no woman and a bunch of kids. 1025 01:15:27,232 --> 01:15:30,277 What'd you really think I was gonna do, marry you? 1026 01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:32,196 Put up a white picket fence? 1027 01:15:32,279 --> 01:15:35,240 Adopt Tiger and become the loving male role model? 1028 01:15:35,324 --> 01:15:36,491 That's not me. 1029 01:15:36,575 --> 01:15:38,076 It's not Payne. 1030 01:16:31,838 --> 01:16:35,133 I can't believe he actually left. 1031 01:16:36,468 --> 01:16:38,470 Alex, where are you going? 1032 01:16:40,097 --> 01:16:41,640 To the Games. 1033 01:16:41,974 --> 01:16:45,269 You guys better start getting ready. We gotta be there in an hour. 1034 01:16:45,352 --> 01:16:48,355 We don't have to go to the Games. Payne's gone. 1035 01:16:49,481 --> 01:16:51,984 We don't have a chance without Payne. 1036 01:16:52,150 --> 01:16:54,820 Listen. Payne or no Payne, 1037 01:16:55,404 --> 01:16:58,615 I'm gonna go out there and win that stupid trophy. 1038 01:16:58,699 --> 01:17:02,244 We busted our asses off out there getting ready for this. 1039 01:17:02,369 --> 01:17:05,956 Now I didn't go through all that to come out empty-handed. 1040 01:17:07,541 --> 01:17:09,418 So how about it, guys? 1041 01:17:10,252 --> 01:17:12,004 Aren't you with me? 1042 01:17:12,421 --> 01:17:14,172 Sure, I guess. Yeah. 1043 01:17:15,173 --> 01:17:17,384 I can't hear you. 1044 01:17:17,467 --> 01:17:19,511 Sir, yes, sir! 1045 01:17:19,761 --> 01:17:21,555 Just a little bit louder now. 1046 01:17:21,638 --> 01:17:23,807 Sir, yes, sir! 1047 01:17:23,890 --> 01:17:25,642 One more time, you maggots. 1048 01:17:25,726 --> 01:17:28,854 Sir, yes, sir! 1049 01:17:43,660 --> 01:17:46,371 Taggert, present arms. 1050 01:17:46,455 --> 01:17:48,665 Stapleton, present arms. 1051 01:17:51,793 --> 01:17:53,795 Wellington, present arms. 1052 01:17:59,343 --> 01:18:01,803 Madison, present arms. 1053 01:18:02,512 --> 01:18:05,223 Cadets, order arms. 1054 01:18:09,936 --> 01:18:12,397 Welcome, men, to Wellington Academy 1055 01:18:12,481 --> 01:18:16,568 for the 58th annual Junior ROTC Virginia Military Games. 1056 01:18:17,235 --> 01:18:19,529 This morning, you are all equal. 1057 01:18:20,322 --> 01:18:25,077 But by the end of the day today, we will honor the finest of you with a trophy, 1058 01:18:25,535 --> 01:18:27,537 the trophy of a champion. 1059 01:18:28,705 --> 01:18:30,457 Let the games begin. 1060 01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:42,636 Good shot, Williams. I got nothing to say to you. 1061 01:18:42,719 --> 01:18:44,763 All right, Fox. Good going. 1062 01:18:45,472 --> 01:18:46,556 Yes! 1063 01:18:48,350 --> 01:18:51,436 - Come on, guys! - Maggots, pull! 1064 01:19:04,616 --> 01:19:06,618 Go, Tiger! Go! Go! 1065 01:19:38,817 --> 01:19:40,735 I got you! I got you! 1066 01:19:40,819 --> 01:19:42,654 I got you now! 1067 01:20:01,798 --> 01:20:03,425 Benson. 1068 01:21:43,608 --> 01:21:45,986 On your mark. Get set. 1069 01:21:54,744 --> 01:21:55,870 One, sir. Two, sir. 1070 01:21:55,954 --> 01:21:58,873 Three, sir. Four, sir. Five, sir. Six, sir. 1071 01:21:58,957 --> 01:22:00,000 Seven, sir. 1072 01:22:00,667 --> 01:22:02,252 Four, sir. Five, sir. Six, sir... 1073 01:22:20,604 --> 01:22:23,690 Faster, Heathcoat. Over the wall. Go! Go! 1074 01:22:24,858 --> 01:22:26,651 Come on, Heathcoat! You can do it! I know you can! 1075 01:22:26,735 --> 01:22:29,279 Come on! Move it, Heathcoat. Move it! Move it! 1076 01:22:29,404 --> 01:22:31,573 - Come on, come on! - See you later, loser. 1077 01:22:41,666 --> 01:22:43,001 Hurry up! 1078 01:23:06,608 --> 01:23:08,151 Hey, he just tripped him! 1079 01:23:08,234 --> 01:23:11,988 The winner of the relay race is Wellington Academy. 1080 01:23:14,366 --> 01:23:16,993 Second place, Madison Preparatory. 1081 01:23:17,827 --> 01:23:19,996 Third place, Stapleton. 1082 01:23:21,081 --> 01:23:22,957 Fourth place, Taggert. 1083 01:23:44,562 --> 01:23:46,898 All right, knock it off! 1084 01:23:48,942 --> 01:23:51,152 Hey, hey, hey, get off of him! 1085 01:23:52,320 --> 01:23:55,448 Hold it right there! Hey, hey, you! You! 1086 01:23:55,532 --> 01:23:57,659 - Knock it off! - Knock it off! 1087 01:23:59,244 --> 01:24:00,578 I want that man arrested! 1088 01:24:05,208 --> 01:24:06,793 This is unsatisfactory. 1089 01:24:06,876 --> 01:24:11,548 I demand that the entire Madison squad be disqualified from the final competition! 1090 01:24:11,631 --> 01:24:15,927 Lieutenant, I can only disqualify the cadet who started the disturbance. 1091 01:24:16,010 --> 01:24:18,263 That's not enough! Look at 'em! 1092 01:24:18,430 --> 01:24:21,933 These animals are so pathetic, their own commander didn't even bother to show up. 1093 01:24:24,018 --> 01:24:26,563 There ain't no need for name-calling. 1094 01:24:42,120 --> 01:24:44,497 Major Payne. What are you doing here? 1095 01:24:44,581 --> 01:24:47,333 I was told you were on an important assignment. 1096 01:24:47,417 --> 01:24:48,752 Well, what could be more important 1097 01:24:48,835 --> 01:24:51,671 than my boys winning this here competition? 1098 01:24:51,796 --> 01:24:54,299 I suggest we get this party started. 1099 01:24:54,674 --> 01:24:56,926 Is that okay with you, Colonel? 1100 01:25:00,138 --> 01:25:03,683 Cadets, I'm pleased to announce the two top-rated squads 1101 01:25:03,767 --> 01:25:07,353 who will compete for first and second place in the parade drill competition. 1102 01:25:07,437 --> 01:25:10,315 Wellington Academy and Madison Academy. 1103 01:25:14,986 --> 01:25:16,821 Arms, hut! 1104 01:25:17,906 --> 01:25:18,990 Left face! 1105 01:25:19,073 --> 01:25:20,909 Ladies and gentlemen, Wellington Academy. 1106 01:25:20,992 --> 01:25:22,035 Forward march! 1107 01:25:22,118 --> 01:25:23,787 Drill leader, Sergeant Michael Rachmill. 1108 01:25:23,870 --> 01:25:25,330 Right. Right. 1109 01:25:27,999 --> 01:25:32,128 All right, gentlemen. Let's look alive here! We got trophies to win! 1110 01:25:33,213 --> 01:25:35,089 Hello, Mr. Denial. 1111 01:25:35,840 --> 01:25:36,921 While you were on vacation, 1112 01:25:36,966 --> 01:25:39,677 we've been having some real problems here. 1113 01:25:39,844 --> 01:25:43,640 I don't see no problem. You made it to the finals, didn't you? 1114 01:25:44,015 --> 01:25:45,892 Yeah, no thanks to you. 1115 01:25:46,643 --> 01:25:49,562 So why did you come back? We don't need you. 1116 01:25:51,523 --> 01:25:53,858 Maybe I didn't come back for you. 1117 01:25:54,651 --> 01:25:56,611 Why'd you come back then? 1118 01:25:57,445 --> 01:26:00,740 Maybe I told myself that I want to see you win first place 1119 01:26:00,824 --> 01:26:03,243 and ain't gonna leave until you do. 1120 01:26:04,661 --> 01:26:07,288 So that's it? It's all about the trophy? 1121 01:26:11,751 --> 01:26:14,128 Maybe I like you. 1122 01:26:15,713 --> 01:26:16,798 What? 1123 01:26:18,466 --> 01:26:19,801 Just like? 1124 01:26:22,053 --> 01:26:25,557 Maybe I like you a lot. 1125 01:26:26,933 --> 01:26:28,268 That's it? 1126 01:26:29,727 --> 01:26:32,397 Don't push the "maybe," baby. 1127 01:26:33,481 --> 01:26:35,483 Now let's win this thing. 1128 01:26:36,734 --> 01:26:38,486 We have nobody to lead the drill. 1129 01:26:38,570 --> 01:26:39,988 'Course we do. 1130 01:26:40,071 --> 01:26:41,406 Who? 1131 01:26:41,573 --> 01:26:42,740 Tiger. 1132 01:26:43,366 --> 01:26:44,993 Are you crazy? What? 1133 01:26:45,076 --> 01:26:46,035 That's right. 1134 01:26:46,119 --> 01:26:49,163 That boy know the drill like the knob on the back of his head. 1135 01:26:49,247 --> 01:26:51,708 I can't do it. I'm too little. 1136 01:26:52,375 --> 01:26:53,751 Ladies and gentlemen, 1137 01:26:53,835 --> 01:26:56,170 the Wellington Academy Drill Team. 1138 01:26:57,505 --> 01:26:59,465 You need me to tell you the story 1139 01:26:59,549 --> 01:27:02,594 about the Little Engine That Could again? 1140 01:27:04,554 --> 01:27:07,807 Then you get out there and you toot that horn, boy. 1141 01:27:09,684 --> 01:27:12,103 Toot, toot. 1142 01:27:14,439 --> 01:27:16,441 Toot, toot. 1143 01:27:20,028 --> 01:27:23,239 Ladies and gentlemen, Madison Preparatory School. 1144 01:27:31,205 --> 01:27:34,250 Drill Team leader, Private Kevin "Tiger" Dunne. 1145 01:27:46,971 --> 01:27:48,056 Bust a move! 1146 01:27:49,265 --> 01:27:51,434 Now here we are together 1147 01:27:51,517 --> 01:27:53,478 Ready to do whatever 1148 01:27:53,561 --> 01:27:55,521 We started out as boys 1149 01:27:55,605 --> 01:27:58,149 Now we're men And we're making noise 1150 01:27:58,232 --> 01:28:00,026 Stand back and step clear 1151 01:28:00,109 --> 01:28:02,487 Madison cadets are the ones to fear 1152 01:28:03,029 --> 01:28:06,741 If you don't believe Battle us and you will see 1153 01:28:07,617 --> 01:28:12,038 Oh, yeah, here we come Here we come, here we come 1154 01:28:12,205 --> 01:28:14,415 Hip-hop, hip-hop hip-hop ho 1155 01:28:14,499 --> 01:28:16,709 Hip-hop, hip-hop hip-hop ho 1156 01:28:16,793 --> 01:28:19,003 We can get down 'Cause it's in our souls 1157 01:28:19,087 --> 01:28:20,755 We can get down 'Cause it's in our souls 1158 01:28:20,838 --> 01:28:22,382 Hit me with a one, two 1159 01:28:22,465 --> 01:28:23,508 One, two 1160 01:28:23,591 --> 01:28:24,759 Hit me with a three, four 1161 01:28:24,842 --> 01:28:25,885 Three, four 1162 01:28:25,969 --> 01:28:27,971 One, two, three, four 1163 01:28:28,054 --> 01:28:30,556 One, two, three, four 1164 01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:32,684 Mark time, march! 1165 01:28:34,852 --> 01:28:36,354 Present arms. 1166 01:28:38,439 --> 01:28:39,941 Forward march. 1167 01:28:48,825 --> 01:28:50,702 Order arms! 1168 01:28:56,874 --> 01:28:58,334 Philly stomp. 1169 01:29:06,843 --> 01:29:08,177 Ho! 1170 01:29:43,004 --> 01:29:44,630 One, two, three! 1171 01:29:44,714 --> 01:29:46,174 Get down on the hip-hop 1172 01:29:46,257 --> 01:29:48,426 Get down and get funky and you don't stop 1173 01:29:48,509 --> 01:29:50,053 What, do that, do that 1174 01:29:50,136 --> 01:29:51,179 Go, Tiger 1175 01:29:51,262 --> 01:29:54,766 Do that, do that Get down, do that, do that 1176 01:29:54,849 --> 01:29:58,269 Go, Tiger, do that, do that Get down, do that 1177 01:29:58,394 --> 01:30:00,188 Do that, go, Tiger 1178 01:30:00,271 --> 01:30:01,647 Do that, do that 1179 01:30:01,731 --> 01:30:03,483 Get down Do that, do that 1180 01:30:03,608 --> 01:30:05,401 Go, Tiger 1181 01:30:06,944 --> 01:30:08,613 Salute. 1182 01:30:09,363 --> 01:30:11,032 Madison Preparatory School. 1183 01:31:02,834 --> 01:31:04,961 Company, atten-hut! 1184 01:31:10,258 --> 01:31:12,301 Sir, squad is formed, sir. 1185 01:31:15,138 --> 01:31:16,222 Post. 1186 01:31:23,062 --> 01:31:28,359 My name is Major Benson Winifred Payne! 1187 01:31:29,485 --> 01:31:32,864 I'd like to be the first to welcome you 1188 01:31:32,947 --> 01:31:34,824 to the Madison School. 1189 01:31:35,700 --> 01:31:37,910 What we've tried to develop here 1190 01:31:37,994 --> 01:31:40,538 is a family environment. 1191 01:31:40,997 --> 01:31:43,666 One of trust and understanding. 1192 01:31:44,876 --> 01:31:50,047 I'd like for you to think of me not only as your commanding officer 1193 01:31:50,506 --> 01:31:52,175 but as your friend. 1194 01:31:54,802 --> 01:31:57,513 And what the hell is that? 1195 01:31:58,222 --> 01:31:59,557 He's mine. 1196 01:32:07,648 --> 01:32:09,400 That a boy. Sit. 1197 01:32:10,067 --> 01:32:11,360 Good boy. 1198 01:32:17,200 --> 01:32:22,121 You know, there ain't no pets allowed on these here premises, Mr. Ace Ventura. 1199 01:32:22,663 --> 01:32:24,582 Yeah, well, maybe that doesn't apply to me. 1200 01:32:24,665 --> 01:32:26,792 He's my blind seeing-eye dog. 1201 01:32:29,420 --> 01:32:32,757 What in the world would anybody want with a blind dog? 1202 01:32:33,591 --> 01:32:34,926 The dog ain't blind. 1203 01:32:35,009 --> 01:32:36,969 I'm the one that's blind, you idiot. 1204 01:32:39,597 --> 01:32:41,724 Oh, I see you and your friend Cujo here 1205 01:32:41,807 --> 01:32:43,809 got a little attitudinal problem, 1206 01:32:43,893 --> 01:32:45,645 needs some readjusting. 1207 01:32:45,728 --> 01:32:49,106 Well, I'm gonna fix that up quick, fast and in a hurry. 1208 01:32:49,190 --> 01:32:50,691 Hey, Corporal. 1209 01:32:53,402 --> 01:32:55,905 Go tell Mama to bring my field knife. 86382

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