All language subtitles for Jann - 01x01 - The Big House.aAF.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,990 Next up, an oldie but a goodie. "Insensitive" 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,520 by Jann Arden. 3 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:19,820 ♪ How do you cool your lips ♪ 4 00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:25,220 ♪ After a summer's kiss? ♪ 5 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,970 I finally understand this song! 6 00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:30,980 ♪ How do you rid the sweat ♪ 7 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,420 - Holy crap... - ♪ After the body bliss? ♪ 8 00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:38,889 Jann! 9 00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:42,120 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 10 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,040 _ 11 00:00:55,380 --> 00:00:57,540 - Hi. - Hi. Jann? 12 00:00:57,550 --> 00:00:59,380 - Yes. - You look normal-sized 13 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:03,060 - in person. - Oh... thank you, I think. 14 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,760 Cute. I'm Cale, 15 00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:07,369 I have an appointment to view the house. 16 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:08,380 I know. 17 00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:09,640 You live here? 18 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,539 I do when I'm not renting the place. 19 00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:13,690 When I have guests here, I stay in the cottage 20 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:16,020 - down the path. - I think this could work 21 00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:18,120 - for my client. - Who'd you say your client was? 22 00:01:18,130 --> 00:01:19,579 - I didn't. - But you meant to? 23 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,019 I didn't. 24 00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,099 How many bedrooms does this place have? 25 00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,080 My client travels with an entourage. 26 00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:27,730 Oh, I've got five really spacious bedrooms. 27 00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:30,130 That's not ideal, but I guess two can share a room. 28 00:01:30,140 --> 00:01:32,499 This is my friend Rhonda. 29 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,460 She helps me do stuff around here. 30 00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:36,040 Rhonda, we're going to have a guest. 31 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,040 You're on a septic out here, so don't even think 32 00:01:38,050 --> 00:01:39,879 about flushing your tampons. 33 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,980 OK. Thank you, Rhonda. 34 00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:43,880 - Can I have this? - Oh, God. It's all yours. 35 00:01:43,890 --> 00:01:45,840 Thanks. 36 00:01:45,890 --> 00:01:47,720 What was that, Rhonda? 37 00:01:47,730 --> 00:01:50,550 You want to know who the guest is? Rhonda would like 38 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,579 - to know who the guest is. - Rhonda doesn't care. 39 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,560 You should be more like Rhonda. 40 00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:57,699 I will say, however, that my client is a huge name, 41 00:01:57,700 --> 00:02:00,139 and she's in town to headline Cancer Fest 42 00:02:00,140 --> 00:02:02,659 - at the Saddledome. - Oh, that is so great. 43 00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:04,870 You know, I have a gig myself later this afternoon. 44 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,660 - It's a private function... - Neat. 45 00:02:06,670 --> 00:02:08,440 You're a very accomplished musician, aren't you? 46 00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:10,980 I am! I am very accomplished. 47 00:02:10,990 --> 00:02:13,500 And... and you know, I'm very humble. 48 00:02:14,540 --> 00:02:16,679 While my client stays here, can we take that down? 49 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,940 Sadly, you are not the first person to ask me that, 50 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,750 so I had a special sheet made. 51 00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:37,300 Ow. 52 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:40,870 Ow! 53 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,710 - Hey, Max. - Stop! What are you doing?! 54 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:45,779 Hello, Max? 55 00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:48,710 - Get off me! - I said stop! Those cupcakes 56 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,650 - are for the bake sale! - Cupcakes? 57 00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:54,020 You don't have to talk to me like I'm a child too. 58 00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:56,990 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Hi! 59 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,640 That's not my job! 60 00:02:58,650 --> 00:03:00,200 - Was that my job? - What are you doing here? 61 00:03:00,220 --> 00:03:01,560 Your butt dialled me 62 00:03:01,570 --> 00:03:03,630 and told me it had cupcakes. Whoa! 63 00:03:03,640 --> 00:03:05,160 - Ooh-hoo! - Hey, Mom. 64 00:03:05,170 --> 00:03:06,960 Hi, sweetheart. 65 00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:09,400 Oh, my God. Why is everybody freaking out? 66 00:03:09,410 --> 00:03:10,940 Your sister's pregnant again. 67 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,200 OK. Ew. 68 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,019 - Really? - Are you happy about this? 69 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,532 Should I be congratulating you? 70 00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,710 I don't know. I mean, I have 71 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,479 one in college and two in hockey. 72 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,019 I mean, do you think I want more of these?! 73 00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:22,560 Oh, you're precious and you were very much wanted. 74 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,959 I just got a promotion! 75 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,480 I'm done with kids! 76 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:28,020 - Every day with you is a gift. - This wasn't supposed 77 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:29,840 to happen. He actually had a vasectomy. 78 00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:30,920 OK. Ew! 79 00:03:30,930 --> 00:03:33,050 All right, girls. First one dressed is my favourite. 80 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,000 You know, I was this close to getting my life back on track. 81 00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:41,760 Ooh! I have not had one of these since Dad's funeral. 82 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,189 You don't actually care, do you? 83 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,200 Of course I do. 84 00:03:44,210 --> 00:03:45,219 You do whatever you want. 85 00:03:45,220 --> 00:03:48,450 Actually, right now, you're eating my children's lunches. 86 00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:49,500 You know what? 87 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,140 I have problems too. 88 00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:53,840 I have a very complicated relationship. 89 00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:56,910 With... who? You and Cynthia broke up. 90 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,910 No, we didn't. Have you seen her? Did you talk to her? 91 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,460 What'd she say? Never mind. 92 00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:02,350 You know what? We're just taking a break. 93 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:05,040 - We're just taking a breather. - Mom! 94 00:04:05,050 --> 00:04:07,190 Hey, get your feet off your sister's face! Please! 95 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:08,959 OK, could you just do me one favour? 96 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:10,949 Could you just take Mom to her doctor's appointment? 97 00:04:10,950 --> 00:04:11,960 I can't. 98 00:04:11,970 --> 00:04:13,279 I need to earn a living. 99 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,780 I think we can all agree on that. 100 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,640 OK? 101 00:04:16,710 --> 00:04:20,070 How are you liking the minivan that I got for you guys? 102 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,799 Well, that's really classy. 103 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:22,960 Have you got enough? 104 00:04:22,980 --> 00:04:24,340 I'll take a road cake. 105 00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:26,110 - I really do have a gig. - No, help yourself. 106 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,010 - I've got a headliner. OK? - Just two? Congratulations. 107 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:30,620 So, good luck with everything. 108 00:04:30,630 --> 00:04:32,780 - Hey, bye-bye! - Bye, Jann! 109 00:04:32,790 --> 00:04:34,340 - Bye, Auntie Jann! - Bye! 110 00:04:34,350 --> 00:04:36,539 See you later. 111 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:39,079 - Jackass. - Your sister's just afraid 112 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:40,960 that everyone will forget about her. 113 00:04:40,970 --> 00:04:43,320 Oh, my God. Do you think that's possible? 114 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:47,860 Red queen. 115 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,500 - I know. - OK. 116 00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:53,570 ♪ Oh, my Lord ♪ 117 00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:58,940 ♪ Oh, my Lord ♪ 118 00:04:58,980 --> 00:05:01,919 ♪ Oh, my Lord ♪ 119 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,910 ♪ Could I be your girl? ♪ 120 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,310 - Woo! - Thank you. 121 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,310 - Thank you so much. - You're welcome. 122 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:10,880 Thank you everybody. Thanks a lot. Oh, hey... 123 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:13,580 OK. It's my pleasure 124 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,260 to introduce this next act. 125 00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:18,120 It's a father and son. It says here they are professional... 126 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:20,290 duck callers. 127 00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:22,630 Duck callers. 128 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,900 They are known as... FowlCall. 129 00:05:24,910 --> 00:05:27,600 So, let's hear it for FowlCall. 130 00:05:27,610 --> 00:05:30,100 That was so great! 131 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:32,540 OK. They could not have cared less. 132 00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:33,899 Hey, you can't read the crowd from up there. 133 00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,140 From where I was, they loved it. 134 00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:37,340 These two Hutterites knew all the words. 135 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:39,180 This is just not what I want to be doing. 136 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:41,350 Yeah, I know. It's the kind of offer we're getting right now. 137 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,820 - OK, well, can we get going? - What's your hurry? 138 00:05:43,830 --> 00:05:46,790 Oh, my God. Do you want to watch the duck people? 139 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,450 Ready when you are. 140 00:05:49,460 --> 00:05:51,899 So, when are we getting' paid? 141 00:05:51,900 --> 00:05:54,030 'Cause I really need to put some cash in the bank. 142 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,690 Don't be mad, OK? We're getting paid well. 143 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,930 Just not in the traditional sense. Guys... 144 00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,010 put this is in the black SUV with the cheese. 145 00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:04,100 Cheese?! 146 00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:06,670 I've done my research. 147 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,170 We'll get cash... once we sell the cheese. 148 00:06:09,180 --> 00:06:10,299 I hope you're kidding. 149 00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:12,360 You ever go to the grocery store and buy Parmesan? 150 00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:15,480 It's like 14 bucks for a tiny little wedge. 151 00:06:15,490 --> 00:06:17,720 Each wheel is 120 pounds. We've got three of them. 152 00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:20,820 Three wheels. In cash, that's double your last private gig. 153 00:06:20,830 --> 00:06:24,560 I know, but that's cash. I cannot buy shoes with cheese. 154 00:06:24,570 --> 00:06:25,959 You just have to be patient. 155 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,919 Hang on to the cheese for a couple of days 156 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,980 - 'til we find a buyer. - OK. This is embarrassing. 157 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,460 Do you know how it makes me feel 158 00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:33,560 to be performing for dairy products? 159 00:06:33,570 --> 00:06:35,199 It's like edible Bitcoin! 160 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:36,930 I want you to get me Cancer Fest. 161 00:06:36,940 --> 00:06:38,799 Jann. You know I do everything in my power... 162 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,032 Mainstage. Saddledome. 163 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,560 That show's been booked for months! 164 00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:42,760 Drake, Feist, Arcade Fire... 165 00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:46,210 I want you to do everything in your power to get me Cancer. 166 00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:47,680 ... Fest? 167 00:06:48,620 --> 00:06:51,250 OK. I'll try. 168 00:06:51,260 --> 00:06:52,280 That's all I ask. 169 00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:56,170 Wow, you really look like Jann Arden! 170 00:06:56,180 --> 00:06:59,430 - Actually, I... - I do not care for her. 171 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,830 - Hey, Todd. - Jann, I've got news. 172 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,470 You got Cancer. 173 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:14,470 Yes! Fest? 174 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,419 Yeah. That. Cancer Fest! 175 00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,910 - Way to go, Todd. - I can't believe it myself! 176 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,700 A spot opened up for this afternoon. 177 00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:23,780 Terri Clark had to bow out at the last minute. 178 00:07:23,790 --> 00:07:26,250 - Fantastic! - It's a medical situation. 179 00:07:26,260 --> 00:07:27,580 She may have cancer. 180 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,480 Oh... that's terrible. 181 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,040 Melanoma. 182 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,839 They're mapping her moles as we speak. 183 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,150 Oh, Jesus. 184 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,160 - But still, great for you! Right? - Yeah... 185 00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:39,830 - See you there at three. - Thanks, Todd. See you. 186 00:07:47,980 --> 00:07:51,340 Hey. So, you know how when I'm pregnant 187 00:07:51,350 --> 00:07:53,670 I can't handle certain smells? 188 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,179 Well, a few days ago, 189 00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:58,100 Mom helped me put away the groceries, and... 190 00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:01,180 the rump roast didn't quite make it into the fridge. 191 00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:03,519 Oh, no. 192 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,180 Did I do that? 193 00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:08,190 It's OK. It's no problem. 194 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,780 It's totally fine. 195 00:08:11,940 --> 00:08:14,560 I just had to share. Call me back. 196 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,780 Wow, Todd. This is seriously... 197 00:08:31,790 --> 00:08:34,050 - Glad you like it. - Oh! 198 00:08:34,060 --> 00:08:35,500 Oh, gosh. 199 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,920 Hey, I love that. 200 00:08:37,930 --> 00:08:41,220 Oh, gosh... 201 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,190 What? 202 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,730 - Why are they... - This was all for Terri. 203 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:52,600 Come on! 204 00:08:52,610 --> 00:08:54,440 Really? 205 00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:02,039 Missing Cancer Fest because of a cancer scare. 206 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,450 I mean, what are the odds of that? 207 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,080 - Very ironic. - But you know what? 208 00:09:05,090 --> 00:09:07,510 The woman never wears sleeves. 209 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:09,740 So, we've got a three-song acoustic set. 210 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,420 - Your guitar's all set up. - Great. 211 00:09:11,440 --> 00:09:13,809 I love when it's just you and the music. 212 00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,040 I'm so excited for you! 213 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,480 I think I'm gonna watch from front of house. 214 00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:18,259 - Get the true fan experience. - Yes! 215 00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,600 - You're on next. - Yes! 216 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,529 - Call me if you need me. - I will, I will! 217 00:09:22,530 --> 00:09:23,719 _ 218 00:09:24,957 --> 00:09:26,379 _ 219 00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:28,060 "Not delivered"? 220 00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:30,240 Hey! Can you tell Jann Arden she's on in 10? 221 00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:32,740 Oh, you know what? Actually, I am... 222 00:09:40,090 --> 00:09:41,959 Hey. I'm up next. 223 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,810 Yeah, may I see your pass please? 224 00:09:43,820 --> 00:09:45,820 Oh. Um... 225 00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,290 my manager has my pass. I'm Jann Arden? 226 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,220 Yeah, but you gotta have a pass. 227 00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:52,260 Come on, you know me. 228 00:09:52,270 --> 00:09:54,340 ♪ Hide your heart under the bed ♪ 229 00:09:54,350 --> 00:09:57,299 ♪ And lock your secret drawer ♪ ♪ Wash the angels ♪ 230 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,519 - ♪ From your head... ♪ - Not ringing any bells. 231 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:00,979 OK. I'm gonna phone my manager. 232 00:10:00,980 --> 00:10:02,330 Yeah, you do that. 233 00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,470 But you're not gonna get any signal here. 234 00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,410 Oh! My favourite! 235 00:10:11,420 --> 00:10:12,580 Oh! 236 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,139 - Bella bambina! - It's Feist? 237 00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:17,219 That's who's renting my house? 238 00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:19,439 I love your new video. 239 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,050 I bought it on iTunes! 240 00:10:21,060 --> 00:10:24,040 - Radical. - She says "radical". 241 00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:27,160 OK. That woman is staying 242 00:10:27,170 --> 00:10:29,440 at my house! Please, 243 00:10:29,450 --> 00:10:31,140 Feist, tell this guy who I am! 244 00:10:31,150 --> 00:10:32,660 - Who am I?! - Safe circle. 245 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,440 You're too close. She doesn't like contact. 246 00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:39,120 Do I know this person from somewhere? 247 00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:42,040 You're staying in my house! Um, you're literally 248 00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:45,019 - pooing in my toilet. - I don't do that. 249 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,060 - She doesn't do that. - OK. 250 00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:49,820 You know who I am. Can you please tell this guy? 251 00:10:49,830 --> 00:10:53,000 - My manager has my pass. - You need a new manager. 252 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,419 OK. You're not being very helpful. 253 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:56,740 Yeah, I'm getting tired of pretending to be nice 254 00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,780 - to this person. - I can hear you. 255 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:02,280 And also, I'm gonna need to not see that anymore. 256 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:04,479 Look, Cale, I'm finding this 257 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,100 very stressful. I don't feel well. 258 00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:08,060 I'm gonna need to Facetime with my life coach. 259 00:11:08,070 --> 00:11:10,440 - OK. Thanks. - OK. 260 00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:12,600 No sign of Jann Arden. We're moving on. 261 00:11:12,610 --> 00:11:15,220 Please give a warm Cancer Fest welcome... 262 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,879 - You're gonna be sorry. - ... to a timeless talent. 263 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,090 An artist as relevant today 264 00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:21,620 as when we first fell in love with her... 265 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:23,380 Sarah McLachlan! 266 00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:25,380 Sarah McLachlan?! 267 00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:28,840 Ma'am, you need to leave. Right now. 268 00:11:28,850 --> 00:11:32,460 ♪ And into the fire ♪ ♪ I'm reunited ♪ 269 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,020 ♪ Into the fire ♪ 270 00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,720 Perfect damn song! 271 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,660 - ♪ I am the spark ♪ - What the frig?! 272 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:41,130 - ♪ Into the night ♪ - Where's Jann? 273 00:11:41,140 --> 00:11:44,560 ♪ I yearn for comfort ♪ 274 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,740 No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 275 00:11:46,770 --> 00:11:49,580 Nope! 276 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,470 Call Cynthia. 277 00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:55,490 You asked me to block that number 278 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:57,139 while you give each other some space. 279 00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:58,610 OK. Override that. 280 00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:00,000 Override that block. 281 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,380 You asked me to block... 282 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:02,540 - ... give each other some space. - Oh, my God. 283 00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:04,900 - You asked me to block that number... - Ignore that block. 284 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,640 I'm sorry, Jann. I can't do that. 285 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,780 Please open your settings to change call blocks. 286 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:14,440 OK. Call 403-555-0177. 287 00:12:15,700 --> 00:12:19,160 - Dialling that number. - Do not tell me who I can call! 288 00:12:19,310 --> 00:12:21,800 Hi, this is Cynthia. Leave me a message. 289 00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:24,440 Hey, it's me. 290 00:12:24,450 --> 00:12:28,399 And, um, I know you wanted some space 291 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,660 and some time. 292 00:12:29,700 --> 00:12:32,040 But listen, things are really going to hell, 293 00:12:32,050 --> 00:12:34,420 and I really need to see you. I'm coming over. 294 00:12:38,730 --> 00:12:42,120 What? Come on! 295 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,440 Hi, this is Cynthia. Leave me a message. 296 00:12:57,450 --> 00:12:59,500 OK. You don't decline me. 297 00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:01,550 I'm the decliner! 298 00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,299 ♪ How do you cool your lips ♪ 299 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,700 Why is everyone so disappointing?! 300 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,470 ♪ After a summer's kiss? ♪ 301 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,150 I finally understand this song! 302 00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,680 ♪ How do you rid the sweat? ♪ 303 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,880 - Holy crap! - ♪ After the body bliss? ♪ 304 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,860 Jann! 305 00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:35,519 ♪ Oh, I really should have known ♪ 306 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:38,120 ♪ By the time you drove me home ♪ 307 00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,620 ♪ By the vagueness in your eyes ♪ 308 00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:45,579 - Ma'am? - Oh, God! 309 00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:48,280 - Are you OK? - Big trouble! Big trouble! 310 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,120 This is a very stressful situation! 311 00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:54,900 I think that's Jann Arden. 312 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,420 Jesus! 313 00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:02,680 Get up! Get... going! 314 00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:05,159 Ma'am, there's no need for this! 315 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,120 We're not gonna hurt you! 316 00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,180 I watch CNN! 317 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:15,710 I guess she didn't see the open gate. 318 00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:19,500 Oh! 319 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:26,520 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 320 00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:28,390 You'll never catch me, coppers! 321 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:29,640 Are you OK, Ms. Arden? 322 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,320 Damn it! 323 00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:34,360 My mom's gonna be so excited that I met you. 324 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,260 Your mother can kiss my ass! 325 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,660 Don't make me say it, but I'm caught on my area. 326 00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:41,320 My la-di-da! 327 00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:44,680 I'm not drunk! I'm just sad! 328 00:14:44,690 --> 00:14:47,180 Can you let me out of here? 329 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:49,920 Oh. Well, you're not under arrest. 330 00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:52,250 And the... the door is open. 331 00:14:53,380 --> 00:14:54,750 Oh. 332 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,799 I have been sober six years. 333 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,659 You mentioned. And you blew a zero on the Breathalyzer. 334 00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:03,960 It's clear that this... is something else. 335 00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:06,830 We really just brought you in to make sure you were OK. 336 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,670 - Your ride is coming. - Actually, I'm here. 337 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,470 - Oh. Hey, Max. - Ma'am? 338 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,500 My freezies? 339 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,020 OK. They've been on my lady bits. 340 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,280 It's your call, Doug. 341 00:15:18,290 --> 00:15:20,290 Enjoy. 342 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,289 Well, that police video 343 00:15:28,290 --> 00:15:29,299 is going to be everywhere, 344 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:30,500 and my career is going to be over. 345 00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:31,549 Well, maybe it's time 346 00:15:31,550 --> 00:15:32,879 you just focus on something else. 347 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:33,889 - Like what? - I don't know, 348 00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:34,899 but something has to give. 349 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,460 You have freezies on your vagina. 350 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,000 My work is all I have. 351 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:39,740 That is the stupidest thing 352 00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,700 I have ever heard, and I have children. 353 00:15:41,710 --> 00:15:43,630 - Do you want these for the kids? - No! Mm-mm. 354 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,620 - No. - There's nothing wrong with them. 355 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,293 I'll eat 'em myself. 356 00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:50,880 Jann... Arden... 357 00:15:50,890 --> 00:15:53,580 police... video. 358 00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:55,210 "Jann Arden Caught 359 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,150 By the Fuzz". Ew! 360 00:15:58,160 --> 00:15:59,660 17 views? 361 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,820 I can't even go viral properly! 362 00:16:02,830 --> 00:16:06,220 Oh! Oh! Ah! Ah! 363 00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:07,300 Oh, God. 364 00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:10,090 You know, I thought an IUD was bad. 365 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,030 What?! 366 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,030 Oh. 367 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,700 You better not have flushed anything weird. 368 00:16:15,710 --> 00:16:17,900 No. I, um, 369 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,750 came to give you a gift. 370 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,410 How did you know I like papaya? 371 00:16:25,420 --> 00:16:26,899 What do I get a woman in her 40s 372 00:16:26,900 --> 00:16:28,250 who's lost control of her life? 373 00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:32,380 I often contemplate burning my yurt down with these. 374 00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:33,960 I'm just that good. 375 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,050 Thank you. 376 00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,020 Jann... I have an agenda. 377 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:40,960 Oh. 378 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,730 It's been a while. 379 00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:44,980 Wow. 380 00:16:44,990 --> 00:16:48,040 I was actually thinking of getting men 381 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,970 back in the rotation. Give me 45 minutes. 382 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,120 - I'll do a little bit of maintenance... - Flattered. 383 00:16:52,140 --> 00:16:53,880 That's a hard no on my end. 384 00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:55,110 Mm. 385 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,470 I saw your video. 386 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,860 - Oh, you're one of the 17. - Do you know what I saw? 387 00:16:58,900 --> 00:17:00,580 More of my cooch than you wanted to? 388 00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:03,650 Yes. But I also saw an opportunity. 389 00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,280 You're primed for a comeback. 390 00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:06,880 Like vinyl. Or measles. 391 00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:10,520 I already have a manager. He may screw up sometimes, 392 00:17:10,540 --> 00:17:12,260 - but Todd does his best. - Like when he Tweeted 393 00:17:12,270 --> 00:17:13,720 a close-up photo of your nipple? 394 00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:16,680 He runs my Twitter and my Tinder account. 395 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:19,159 Sometimes he gets confused. We've worked together 396 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,660 a long time. I can't imagine firing him. 397 00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:23,800 My generation doesn't need commitment up front. 398 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:26,740 We can see how things go. But I do need your permission 399 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,570 to try and book you some better gigs. 400 00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:31,850 Let's get you back into that house of yours. 401 00:17:39,190 --> 00:17:42,250 - You sure you don't want to... - No. 402 00:17:42,260 --> 00:17:45,350 Yeah. 403 00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,730 - Oh, I'm so glad you're here. - Oh. Hi, love! 404 00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:55,300 - Everything is about to change! - It sure is. 405 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,879 So, Mom and I have been talking, 406 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,270 and we've decided she's gonna come live with you for a bit. 407 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,720 What?! 408 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:03,019 My house is chaos, 409 00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,740 and she needs someone looking out for her. 410 00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,310 She's forgetting things. 411 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,280 She is getting older. 412 00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:10,110 - OK. She's right here. - Mom, 413 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,800 you don't want to come live with me, right? 414 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,220 Well, it'll be a nice change of pace. 415 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,050 Mom loves you more. 416 00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:19,020 And she's really not that into me. 417 00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:22,460 - I'm your biggest fan! - I am pregnant 418 00:18:22,470 --> 00:18:25,400 and sick and tired of ironing your face. 419 00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,500 OK. Who irons t-shirts?! 420 00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:28,760 Just keep her alive. 421 00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:30,260 - Bye, Maxi. - Yeah. 422 00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:31,760 - OK. Thanks so much. - Mm-hmm. 423 00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:33,200 - And goodbye, Max. - Bye. 424 00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:35,999 Oh... 425 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,640 Your sister's very stressed 426 00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,170 about having another baby. 427 00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:41,240 I know she is, Mom. 428 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,850 Sometimes, I think about having another baby. 429 00:18:47,820 --> 00:18:51,220 Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! 430 00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:55,770 Is this fence electrified? 431 00:18:55,780 --> 00:18:58,240 It wouldn't be that bad, really. Would it? 432 00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:00,660 Why did I even bother getting a Brazilian wax? 433 00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:01,679 You know? 434 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,150 It's days like this where it just doesn't matter. 435 00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:05,460 You know what? Is it weird 436 00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:08,420 that I have no sensation down there? 437 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:11,290 Nothing! I can't feel a thing. 438 00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:12,399 Oh, my God. 439 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,160 This is a lot like a date I had in 1997. 440 00:19:15,170 --> 00:19:19,640 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - -- www.addic7ed.com -- 31401

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