All language subtitles for Greys S15E22

On average, our heart beats
70 times per minute.

In the same 60-second period,

we blink between 10 and 15 times,

swallow once,

and take up to 20 breaths.

Okay, you can't fall asleep here.

The kids.

You have to go, please.

Right.

Go, go, go. Come on.

- Okay.
- Please.

I'm up.

What are you lookin' at?

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bye.

Tip-toe.

Don't forget to tip-toe.

Quiet as a mouse.

Our hearts beat...

...our lungs breathe,

our bodies keep us alive...

...and most of us barely notice.

Oh, hey... Zola.

Uh...

We just take it all for granted.

Um...

Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

What did she say?

- Did she ask you what you're doing here?
- No.

What is she doing up?

I-I-I don't know.
She was thirsty, I guess.

I mean, my kids know you as
the sad guy from the couch.

Embarrassing chapter in my life, yes.

Have I apologized for that
recently? I'd like to.

I mean, I had a whole plan
for telling my kids about us

with ice cream, and they could
talk about their feelings,

and now it's just blown.

What? Why are you smiling?

You were planning on
telling your kids about us?

Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

- Um, what can I do?
- Don't be sorry.

You can just go. Quietly.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Wait, wait, wait, let me check,

make sure the coast is clear.

Okay, coast is clear.

Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Yes, yes, yes, Megan,

I'm gonna be there. I said
I'm gonna be there, so...

What do you mean I might throw up?

What kind of therapy is this?

Okay, yes. Yes, yes, yes.

It's okay. It's okay.
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Listen, listen.

Oh!

Lis...

I'm gonna be there, okay?

Just... I-I'll call you later.

No. No.

I never told him to call Ben "Dad."

T... Y-Yes, I'm aware
that you are Tuck's father.

And please do not raise
your voice at me...

Hello? Tucker?

M...

My ex-husband overheard
our son call Ben "Dad."

And now Tucker's hurt, Tuck feels bad,

and Ben is oblivious... Thanks...

and, somehow, it's all my problem.

Are you asking my opinion
about all of this?

I would way rather give
my opinion about your life.

Hmm. In that case,

how did you tell Tuck when
you started dating Ben?

Is this about you and DeLuca?

Oh, I see everything, Grey.

I am the chief.

Uh-huh. He told you.

Who? Richard?

Well, the man's very chatty.

So, Zola actually saw him
last night at the house

before I had a chance
to talk to her, so it was...

She's back.

- Oh.
- What?

Jo's back. She's here.

Oh, and here, I thought
she might be dead, or...

Don't do that. Don't give a speech about
how you thought she was dead

or lost a limb or left me
or whatever, all right?

She's not okay, and I don't know why.

Just don't be Bailey about it, please.

Dr. Karev.

Welcome back.

I'll be in the lab.

That was way worse than if
you had been Bailey about it.

Mnh. Mm-hmm.

Dr. Bashine to the OR.

Dr. Linda Bashine to the OR.

Is it ready?

It's ready.

- So, it's happening?
- It's happening.

Can we tell them?

W-We can tell them, but try to
contain your wagging tail

because this could be nothing
and could do nothing.

We don't want to bait them
with false hope. It's cruel.

Right. Just hang on.

What?

I need to wag my tail
for a second out here.

Man, I hope this is not nothing.

Me, too.

So, wait, you're saying my mom might
be able to use her arms again?

We're saying there's a clinical trial

with stem cells being directly
injected into the cervical spine.

That's turning quadriplegics
into paraplegics.

That's... That's what you said.

In some cases, yes.

We just need your approval,

and then we can get started as
soon as the stem cells arrive.

Mom?

Yes. Yes, please.

Are you nervous?

I throw up before every job interview.

I just ace them.

So arrogant. I love it.

But why San Francisco?

My fellowship year is almost up.

- I have to interview at places
- No, I'm saying there's a lot of

- before I...
- excellent jobs right here.

And I hear the weather is worse in
San Francisco than it is in Seattle,

and the rent is triple.

And... hills.

You're on my vertebroplasty today, right?

I'll see you there.

And the sports teams!

Seattle has better sports teams!

I'm guessing.

It's a bowel obstruction.

I know the symptoms. I have IBD.

I've had three obstructions
and three surgeries.

All right, what are your symptoms?

Pain, bloating, cramping...
bowel obstruction symptoms.

Ow!

Okay, I'd love to take your word for it,

- but I have to get you a... Get a CT.
- Yeah, I know.

Can you just order it, please?

It really hurts.

Okay.

Dr. DeLuca?

Yeah?

Uh, I have a patient who's...

- Are you a doctor?
- Uh, I am, yes,

but I'm gonna need you to
check in with her first, okay?

I-I just had a little trouble
puttin' on my shoes.

- Oh. Oh.
- Oh.

Yeah, maybe you should help her first.

I see a small pericardial effusion.

The shoes were new.

I went dancing.

A little underground club
I was supposedly too old for.

Had a few shots too many.

And I took off my shoes to walk
up the stairs to my apartment,

and... that's all I remember.

You slept like this?

Oh, crap.

Gemma?

Uh, excuse me. You two know each other?

Um...

Through, um, a mutual friend.

Well, Ollie isn't around anymore,

so thank you for your concern,

but, as you can see,
I'm... I'm all set here.

Gemma, how did this happen?

I think you and I both know
how this happened.

Josh Sterman, 21,
has hereditary osteoporosis

that caused a compression fracture

at T-11 to T-12,

scheduled for
a percutaneous vertebroplasty.

I'll inject cement right here
into the vertebral body

to restore its integrity,

then you'll be good to go.

You'll be out of here in time for dinner.

Pop-Pop?

Dr. Bailey!

Josh, you remember Dr. Bailey?

She's the one who takes out part
of my bowel every few years.

Uh, recurrent diverticulitis.

Now, the last time I saw you,

you were, what, a foot shorter
and studying for the SATs.

He aced 'em!

- Aww.
- And thanks to you,

I saw him graduate from
high school and get into Udub.

Next stop, business school.

I can't finish those applications

until my back stops hurting.

- He's getting a vertebroplasty today.
- Oh.

Did I say that right?

I thought we'd be seeing Dr. Lincoln,

the fancy sports guy?

Oh, well, Dr. Kim is
Dr. Lincoln's fellow.

He's being wooed by the top hospitals

and some pro-sports teams.

You're lucky you've got him
while he's still here.

Thank you, Chief Bailey.

So, I will, uh, check back
a little later.

Pressure's on, man.

Wow.

Which one is that one?

The Arc de Triomphe.

From Paris?

The golden plate represents
the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

Hm. It's cool.

Be back in a second.

Dr. Ruta, please contact the lab.

Dr. Ruta, please contact the lab.

Any word from
the rare blood organizations?

Well, I'm waiting on
that call from Amsterdam.

He's getting weaker. I need that blood.

I've called Cristina.
I even called Marie Cerone.

Thanks.

What about Jo?

She said anything yet?

Not at all?

It's happening again.

- It's not.
- No, they're happy for a while...

- It's not happening.
- ...then they break...

- She's not broken.
- ...and then they leave me.

Listen to me.

You have to trust her.

She isn't Izzie.

She isn't Ava or Lexie.

She isn't your mother.

And she's not broken,
and neither are you.

She's going through something.

And she's been through worse and
come out on the other side fine.

She's just not ready
to talk about it yet.

I've been there.

You give me space. You give me me.

I've been there. Right?

Okay.

It's not happening again.

Wow.

That's a lot of journals.

Oh, you got binders, too. Great.

Yeah, this is the lab where boring
things go to get more boring.

Bailey's really piling it on now
that she's chief again, huh?

Yeah, didn't help that
I was out for a while.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, well, I don't want to
bother you, then.

Bother me how?

Oh, nothing.

I just thought maybe you could help me

with my spray-on skin research,

but you seem pretty underwater, so...

Wait.

That sounds way better than any of this.

Then again, so does a root canal.

Well, that's just the winning
attitude I'm looking for.

- So, you're a licensed therapist?
- I am.

Ause I don't believe in, you know...

alternative... whatever...

You know, holistic... voodoo stuff.

No voodoo. Got it.

Well, Megan swears by this...

whatever this thing is
that you're doing, so...

Neuro Emotional Technique.

Mm.

It's a psycho-therapeutic modality

in which I use muscle testing

to determine where in your body

you might be holding on to
unresolved patterns of stress,

- like trauma, physical injury... Hmm.
- Muscle testing.

Is that like when you, uh,
get weak when you're lying?

Because that... that is
a party trick, not science.

You're right.

It's not the most precise
system of diagnosis,

but, often, when your mind is
trying to hide something from you,

your body will still
throw you under the bus.

Well...

This helped Megan with her trauma, so...

And she was held hostage in Iraq.

For a decade. Presumed dead.

So I figured, if it helped her,
then what the hell?

Megan is convinced that I am incapable

of allowing joy to exist in my life

due to some unprocessed trauma

that your weird voodoo therapy is
supposed to help me with, so...

Do you think she's right?

Ow!

This is worse than it's ever been.

I-I know it's hard, Avi,

but I'm gonna need you to hold
still for another little while.

Okay? You're doing great.

- Hey, you paged?
- Hey.

Uh, yes, I have a
24-year-old patient with IBD.

She presents with severe abdominal pain.

She thinks it's an obstruction,

but, I mean, she's in way too much pain.

- I-I think it might be a perf.
- Ow.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I'm... I'm waiting for the
images to come up, so...

Okay.

How was, uh, Zola this morning?

She freaked out? Traumatized?

I mean, I don't think so, actually.

I think she was kind of normal-ish.

I mean, it's hard to hear her
over my own tell-tale heart.

Right?

I mean, why... why do we feel so guilty?

We're not doing anything wrong, right?

Well...

Do you even like kids?

What?

Well, we really haven't talked about it,

and I do have three of them.

I have 16 first cousins, age 2 to 15.

The 14-year-old, Tony,
always calls me about girls.

He's been doing that since he was 9.

The 5-year-old, Sonia,

she attaches herself to my leg
when she sees me,

and I basically wear
her like a leg brace.

The 2-year-old, Nicholas,

likes to put things in my hair
and then dig them out.

Your problem's not gonna be
that I don't like kids, Mer.

Your problem's gonna be that your
kids might like me more than you.

- You think?
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh.
- Scans are up.

Okay, Avi, your scans are up.

We're almost done here.

Oh, my God.

You didn't run a pregnancy test?!

No, no, no, Qadri said she ran
standard labs and then a CT.

What... Oh, my Go.

You guys, I'm not pregnant.

I just have... Oww!

Avi, you are pregnant,
and you are in labor,

and it looks like you're crowning.

What? What?

- Let's page OB and page the chief.
- Yep.

Uh, Dr. Pierce, can you excuse us?

I-I'd like a few minutes alone
with Gemma if there's time.

- Of course.
- No.

- Gemma.
- No, I don't want him in here.

Dr. Webber...

Gemma, don't be ridiculous.

- You are not my doctor.
- No, I'm your friend.

And I owe it to Ollie to check on you.

Ollie is dead.

I don't want you in here
preaching at me, praying at me,

- pretending you relate.
- Except I do.

No, you don't. You got a wife.

You got kids.

I had a sponsor. I had Ollie.

And now I got a stiletto in my chest

and a bottle of tequila
waiting for me when I get home.

And I don't want to hear what you
got to think about any of it.

So get out of my room
before I call security.

Oh, for God's sakes, Gemma.

Get out.

Um, you better run a tox screen,

make sure she's not still drunk.

You arrogant son of a bitch!

Get out! Get out!

- Gemma, please calm down.
- Get out!

- Please... Gemma, please hold still.
- Get out!

- Get out!
- Dr, Webber, get out! Please.

Did you page OB?

Yeah, it's a busy
delivery day, apparently.

Oww!

Okay, Avi, good, push!

How do you give a pregnant woman a CT?

Qadri ordered the CT.

'Cause I had my period yesterday.

This makes no seeeense!

Bear down, Avi. Good job.

Oh!

Oh, my God.

Two wombs!

- What?
- Ah!

Oh, look at this!

It's a u-uterus didelphys!

Look at this, Greys!

I'm a little busy right now, Dr. Bailey!

What the hell is uter... Aaah!

You have two uteri, but you'e
only pregnant in one!

Oh, my Goooood!

Good job, good job, Avi.

You're almost there.

Head down, okay? Come on.

Okay.

Okay.

Here's your baby boy.

So, did you ever follow through
with the whole...

birth-mom thing?

Have you been talking to Alex?

Not about that, no.

- Well, you were right.
- About?

You know what?

Y-You said that you needed me to help you

with spray-on skin,

so can we just get to it already?

It's a process.

Right now, we're focused on
aerosolization and coverage.

I was wrong.

This is a lab

where boring things go
to get more boring.

Mm.

Injecting cement.

Is that it?

Just because I made it look easy
doesn't mean it was.

Do you have them?

The... The stem cells? Are they here?

Uh, not yet.

Now we just have to get some
blood samples from your mom

before the procedure.

I can't quite breathe.

I-I mean, I can't get a deep breath.

And I think it's because I'm so aware.

I'm aware of my hands.

I'm aware of my legs.

My fingers.

When I walk... every step... I'm aware.

I'm in awe.

We're anxious and we're depressed

and we mope and we worry
about an extra five pounds

or our... our stupid job.

Since the accident, all I can think about

are my feet and my hands

and how grateful I am for them.

And I want them for my mom.

I want her hands back.

I want them so badly,
I can't quite breathe.

All right, we need to suspend
the patient's breathing

for about two minutes while we inject.

Lucky for everybody, I can do
a lot in, uh, two minutes.

Y... What?

Oh.

You miss your boyfriend.

Who?

Ortho Barbie.

Shepherd, I can't believe
you have a thing with a jock!

It's not... Shut up.

Is it weird having sex
with a cartoon character?

Does he drip ink on you when he sweats?

Okay, I made you laugh. Come on.

Spill. I need deets, and you,
obviously... you need advice.

Fine.

Yes, he looks like a cartoon god,

and the sex is athletic,

and there is eye contact,
and nobody cries after,

and he's funny and fun
and easy to hang out with,

which is just confusing to me

because it's so not my type.

Oh! Okay.

He's your Altman. Hm.

My Altman?

Yeah, you know, somebody so good
and unbroken and kind

that they just seem wrong for you,

but, really, I mean, you...

You've never been happier.

So, yeah, he's your Altman.

Oh, Tom.

You poor guy.

So, you came home from Germany,
and you got back with Amelia.

But that wasn't what you wanted.

It was.

Amelia was... perfect.

I mean, if there was...
there was no Teddy, then...

- There is a Teddy.
- No, there's not.

I mean, she and I, we just...

we have bad timing.

But the timing was right in Germany,

- and still, you blew it up.
- Accidentally.

Was it an accident?

It's the opposite of what you
went to Germany to do, Owen.

So why would you blow it?

You're not stupid.
You don't like hurting people.

Why would you do it?

Uh, I...

I don't know.

Well, it seems like you
might be caught in a pattern.

And if we can find the original
event that started that pattern,

we can just stop it from replaying.

That's it.

And that's your E.N.T. thing?

It's N.E.T., but whatever.

Are you up for that?

Does it involve electric shocks
of any kind?

I'm on my way to a consult,

but I wanted to make sure
everything went okay.

Josh was awesome.
Access site looks great.

How do you feel?

No more stabbing knives in my back.

- I think we're better than okay, Chief.
- Good.

Hey, what's the over/under
on the bathroom situation?

- Ooh, ooh.
- Do I need to continue to lie here?

- You can go.
- I'll stop by later.

All right, coming down.

Ooh.

Good, careful, careful.

- Any tightness?
- No, no, I'm good.

Ah, so, what's your number one?

UCSF, apparently.

Well, I have a Skype interview
with them later, actually.

Blow it off, man. Hospitals are boring.

Find yourself a hockey team, you know?

Fights, skates to the face,
busted shoulders.

It's a real money-maker right there.

Josh? Josh? Josh?

- Call a code!
- Oh, my God.

We need a gurney over here.

Oh, my God. Josh.

- What's... What's happening?
- We need help.

Take him outside. Get a crash cart now.

What's happening? Oh, my God, Josh!

- Get me cardio.
- Josh!

Start bagging him and get an ABG now!

How's she doing?

I just need to make sure
that her heart isn't affected,

and then I'll do a pericardial window.

It's pretty simple.

You really shouldn't be here, Richard.

The last time I saw Gemma,

she was taking a cake
for 17 years' sobriety.

Then Ollie died,

and I stopped going to
meetings for a while,

and I guess Gemma did, too.

But you didn't drink.

No, no.

I took a baseball bat to a bar.

And if I didn't have a lot of
money to settle with the bar,

I would've lost my license.

I could've gone to prison.

I was a dry drunk, Maggie,

and I was angry, and it was painful,

and...

if it weren't for Catherine, I...

Dr. Pierce, we have a 911 page
for cardio from ortho.

Altman's in surgery, and so is Roberts.

Oh, go, go. I can handle it.

She doesn't want you on her case.

Look, I'll talk Qadri through it.

- Go where you're needed, Maggie.
- Okay.

Hi, Avi.

How you feeling?

Hey.

- Look at him.
- Hello.

Look at what I made.

Yeah.

It's Tucker.

Again.

I mean, really.

There are worse things
than to have two good men

who the boy feels close to.

So you'd be cool if Tucker got remarried

and Tuck called his new wife "Mom"?

Now, why would you say
a vicious thing like that?

I'm just saying, I just...
Can we please talk about me?

How did you tell Tuck
that you were dating Ben?

I... You know, on some level,
Tuck already knew.

Look, all you have to do is show up,

make it clear what's happening,
answer her questions.

All she wants to know is that
you're there for her,

and you're not going anywhere
no matter what.

Okay, so, apparently Qadri
did do a pregnancy test,

but she didn't wait for the results

because Avi was so sure she
knew what was going on.

Okay, I'm gonna say a thing,

if only to spare you the humiliation

of your girlfriend having to say it.

- Trust, but verify.
- Trust, but verify!

I heard about this morning, too.

You're really batting a thousand today.

Oh, it...

It was in the middle of the night!

Let's go back to Germany,

and just... to when you said

- the thing to Teddy.
- Mm-hmm.

Just focus on what you
were feeling in that moment.

- Okay.
- Just be there,

and hold your arm strong.

Okay.

And...

Okay, there it is.

- So, now, just let that go.
- Mm-hmm.

Think about something else,
anything else,

and let's check
the concept of nervousness.

Of despair.

Feeling of distrust.

Feeling of distrust.

Sensitivity to someone else's distrust.

Your distrust.

Okay, so, it's yours.

That's crazy.

Do you feel distrustful of Teddy?

No.

Can you remember a time in your life

when you felt that way?

Uh...

You know what? That's a broad question.

Let's just check
when it could've happened.

Conception to five.

Listen, w-why don't we just
skip to the Iraq War,

'cause if we're talking about
trauma, that's where it started.

- So...
- Okay.

Was it during the Iraq War?

No, it's not the war, then.

Five to ten?

Five? Six?

Seven? Eight?

Nine? Ten?

Do you have a memory of feeling
distrustful when you were ten?

No.

I don't know.

Okay.

- Do you remember feeling joy at ten?
- Probably. I was ten.

Don't look too hard.

There's probably a memory
sitting right there.

Just the first thing you think of.

I won an award.

There was a Science Bee at school.

And, um, lasted three days.

All grades.

I beat everyone at the school.

How'd you feel about that?

Great. Proud.

Best that I've ever felt.

It doesn't sound like it.

So you told him to go to Germany.

Because every time I looked at him,

I could see him thinking about her.

And he went, and she rejected him.

He went to Germany, declared his love,

and she declared it back.

She loves him, Tom. She always has.

And... And now there's a baby.

I was kind of hoping she was

a one-night-stand-between-friends baby.

Nope, she is definitely a love baby.

Except for the salty brunette

who keeps showing up back in his bed.

Tom, I'm telling you this as a friend...

Owen and Teddy are inevitable.

Hey!

Stem cells are here.

OR 2 is prepped.

My man!

See you in there.

Yeah. Ah. Mm!

- Shut up.
- Shepherd.

We're about to perform
an experimental procedure

in which we might give a paralyzed woman

the use of her arms.

"Inevitable" doesn't scare me.

Let's go off bypass.

I-I was careful. I...

I don't know if you used
the wrong amount of pressure

or if the cement was too liquid,

but the pulmonary artery is destroyed.

I pieced it together, but
the graft is barely holding.

What can I do?

This is a temporary fix at best.

We could consider putting
him on the transplant list.

- Transplant?
- If you can think of a better way

to save your patient from dying,

I'd love to hear it.

Damn it. Schmitt, suction!

The repair didn't hold?

There is nothing here to hold onto.

Clamp!

Flap!

Suction!

I ran home after school.

I had this big certificate with a seal.

You know, like, uh, foil.

I remember that.

And, uh, my mom was
waiting for me in the kitchen.

And I was about to show her it,

and then she said, "Owen, sit down."

So I sat down,

and... she told me

that my dad died...

that day.

- So...
- I'm sorry.

What about the prize? The certificate.

What?

Oh. I-I didn't tell her about that.

I didn't tell anybody.

I was, um, you know...

I was ashamed that I was so proud,

that I was so... happy
when she was so sad.

And my dad was, um...

Owen, I think you've been
reliving this moment ever since.

No, no, no.

I think you don't trust joy.

I think you stop it before
something terrible happens,

before the bad news comes.

But it's not coming anymore.

That moment is over.

It came, and you're okay.

So let's stop the replay.

How?

Okay, I want you to...

I want you to put your hand on
your wrist like this, okay?

And then put your hand on your forehead.

And just sit and breathe.

Dr. Franco, please call extension 523.

Dr. Franco, please call extension 523.

You don't quit, huh?

You bring a "Big Book"?

You planning to read to me

while I'm too weak to stop you?

I just wanted to update you.

Dr. Pierce had an emergency
with another patient.

So... she didn't do your surgery.

I did.

Oh.

So I can sue you.

Buy me a new pair of shoes.

You do whatever you want to.

Although it would make you
a serious ingrate,

seeing how I saved your damn life,

you stubborn drunk!

Ow, ow. Hurts.

Hurts when I laugh.

Well, it ought to hurt.

You punctured your heart with a shoe.

Heh.

That's a new bottom if I ever heard one.

I had 17 years.

I know.

I want 'em back.

The years don't matter, Gemma.

Just today.

It's just... It's just one day at a time.

You start your count all
over again and tell me that.

Well, not long ago, I almost did.

I slid my chip across a bar,

traded it for a line of shots.

You did what?

It was a very bad day.

Tell me more.

You stubborn drunk.

Thank you for finding this study.

Thank you for inspiring me
to find this study.

I'll thank you both to stop

before I vomit into an open spine.

Okay, suspend her breathing.

Okay.

I know you love Ben
and I know you didn't mean to,

but it hurt your father's feelings,

so you just have to say you're sorry

and go back to calling Ben "Ben."

Wait, hold on.

Pop-Pop.

Hey, what happened? Something went wrong.

- They took him.
- What? Josh should be out by...

Dr. Bailey, something went really wrong.

Okay, uh, I'll find out, okay?

I'll be right back.

No.

How?

Massive pulmonary artery embolism.

The bone cement...

Okay, wait, I don't want
to hear it from you.

I want to hear it from you.

The cement leaked, causing a blood clot.

He went into cardiac arrest.

Dr. Pierce tried to repair
the pulmonary artery.

We tried everything we could, and we...

You made a mistake on a
healthy 21-year-old man.

And that man is now dead.
That's what happened.

Schmitt, you close.

And you...

you are gonna stand right next to me

and take in every moment
of that grandfather's grief.

And if you're a good surgeon,
you'll remember it.

And you'll never make this mistake again.

Look, the way I see it is we can
keep working in awkward silence

until it's time for you to go home, or...

- I vote that.
- ...or

you can tell me what you
meant by "I was right."

'Cause I could, maybe, help you feel,

I don't know, one drop less crappy.

You told me not to go looking,

and you were right. That's all, so...

Jo, I told you not to go looking
if everything was okay.

You went looking, so maybe
everything was not okay.

Maybe you needed that.

No, no. You know what? I had everything.

I had a marriage and a job and...

Yeah, Alex is right here.

You got a great job right here.

You're doing it right now.

I'm spraying water on a paper towel,

and Alex is anything but happy.

'Cause he's worried about you.

He's trying to help. Come on.

I knew it. I knew it.

- He sent you here.
- No, he didn't.

Jo, that's not what this is.

Then what is it?

The guy's worried, okay?

He's wondering.

Why don't you just communicate with him?

'Cause it would only hurt,
and it won't help.

You don't know that.

I had all this happy,

and I just... tossed it aside

like it would always exist.

I mean, we... we see it all the time.

We diagnose patients
with terrible diseases

or we tell someone that
their husband dropped dead

of... of a heart attack,

and all they can say is
they were fine yesterday,

and they were.

They were fine.

I was fine.

And I took it for granted,

and now it feels impossible
to get it back.

It was Mer.

It was Meredith that asked me
to look in on you.

She knows how our parents
can screw with our heads.

I'm here, okay?

I'm working.

You came to work drunk, Jo.

You're still drunk.

I can smell it.

I'm thinking vodka in the water bottle.

I'm glad you had the decency
not to see any patients today.

That's nice.

You don't know what you're talking about.

You're in a lot of pain,

and you're trying to numb it.
I get that, okay?

It's not gonna work.

I'm telling you.
You're gonna ruin your life.

Jo, don't leave.

Just talk to me for a second.

I'm trying to help you.

You set foot in this hospital
drunk again,

you're not gonna be met with compassion.

The surgery went well.

I see that.

Yours?

Did not.

I'm sorry.

And Dr. Pierce

did everything she could, but...

...the damage was too extensive.

I'm...

You said we'd be lucky
to have that doctor.

You said Josh would be in good hands.

- What happened?
- I know. I know.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

My boy.

Hey.

Yeah, it's nice to meet you.

Hey.

Okay, now all we do is wait.

I hope we didn't
get their hopes up for nothing.

Oh. Thank you.

How do you feel about sushi burritos?

That sounds like a culinary abomination,

and I need one immediately.

Could you give me one minute, though?

Look, I know you think you're being brave

by fighting for Teddy,

but that's not what's happening here.

Y-Your hopes are up. They're way up...

And hope scares you.

And that's why you're, uh,

hiding behind a very pretty,
very decent guy

to cover the fact that you're
still hung up on Owen Hunt.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

A thing I've learned

is that life is a series of choices.

And that sometimes,
there is an easier, softer way.

- H-He is uncomplicated, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

And it so refreshing.

- Oh.
- It is like diving into

a cold pool on a hot day.

Ah.

Am I hung up on Owen?

Sure.

Maybe I always will be.

But am I using Link?

No.

I'm just choosing an easier path.

You might want to try it.

Hey.

I was looking all over for you.

Thought you might've tried to postpone.

Can't just postpone a job interview.

Yeah, I know.

But they could make
an exception, you know?

Because of what happened today.

Oh, you mean 'cause I
screwed up so completely

that someone's dead?

Oh, yeah, sure, let me just
call up the hiring committee

and fill them in, Levi.

So, you think
you're in the best condition

to interview for your dream job?

Just e-mail 'em, okay?

Then we can get out of here.

No, you don't get it!

'Cause you let failure
hold you back your whole life.

It's basically your entire identity.

But it's not mine.

So much of the world operates

without us ever thinking about it.

Dr. Kim, it's nice to see you.

Your application
is tremendously impressive.

Hey, Dr. Hogans,

thank you for making the time
to talk to me.

I've wanted to be a part of

your program since I...

...since I first, uh,
chose ortho as my specialty.

We expect it to work out in our favor,

and, most of the time, it does.

Let's just go home, order in.

I have to go to my place
and get some clean clothes.

I'm so tired, I might just crash there.

Move in with me.

What?

I love you, Maggie.

I don't want to take it for granted.

I don't want to miss it.

Yeah.

Move in with me.

We worry about the future
and think about the past.

Oh...

Okay.

Hey, come here.

Come here, come here, come here.

Hey.

_

Teddy. Look.

_

_

Okay.

And we so often miss
what's right in front of us.

It's a tiny field outside Lake...

♪ Somewhere past tomorrow

You were drinking at work?

- Jo, I'm done.
- The field...

You hear me? I'm done.

I need you to hear me.
I need you to talk to me.

I love you, Jo. I love you, but I...

If you love me, you will let me...

No, no, no, no, we're not
playing that game anymore.

We're not playing that "if you
love me, you'd leave me alone."

You went to Pittsburgh, and we were good.

- Stop.
- We were good, and then you come back,

and you won't talk to me,
and you're drinking at work.

Please.

So how about I just go to Pittsburgh

and find out what the hell
happened to my wife?!

Huh?!

We take what's good and easy
and working for granted...

I will talk to you
when I'm ready to talk to you.

And if you ever threaten
to go to Pittsburgh again,

I will leave you.

Are we clear?

If you ever come to work drunk again,

I'll tell Bailey.

Great.

We have a deal.

...until it's no longer good
and easy and working for us.

It's normal, but we can do better

because there are tiny, beautiful gifts

we're given every day.

Here we go.

So, the reason why you saw
Dr. DeLuca here the other night

was because he and I have been
spending more time together.

Is he your boyfriend?

He is.

What's that mean?

Well, that means that I like him a lot.

Not more than you, but a lot.

Are you gonna kiss him?

Probably.

- Ew, gross!
- Oh, gross!

Is he gonna sleep on the couch again?

No, he won't be sleeping on the couch,

but he may be coming around
a lot more, so...

But I'm not going anywhere.

You're stuck with me.

Can he leave his guitar at home?

And it's up to us to appreciae
them to the fullest

while we can.