Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,452 --> 00:00:06,206
The One Where It All Began
2
00:00:07,492 --> 00:00:08,481
English Subtitles by
GELULA & CO., INC.
3
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:57,641
There's nothing to tell.
It's just some guy I work with.
4
00:00:57,892 --> 00:00:59,962
You're going out with a guy.
5
00:01:00,212 --> 00:01:02,521
There's gotta be something
wrong with him.
6
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,723
All right, Joey, be nice.
7
00:01:04,972 --> 00:01:07,532
So does he have a hump
and a hair piece?
8
00:01:09,092 --> 00:01:10,366
Wait. Does he eat chalk?
9
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:14,644
I don't want her to go
through what I did with Carl.
10
00:01:14,892 --> 00:01:16,405
Okay, everybody relax.
11
00:01:16,652 --> 00:01:18,449
Relax. This is not even a date.
12
00:01:18,692 --> 00:01:22,480
It's just two people going out to
dinner and not having sex.
13
00:01:23,492 --> 00:01:24,971
Sounds like a date to me.
14
00:01:27,812 --> 00:01:30,451
I'm in high school,
in the middle of the cafeteria. . .
15
00:01:30,692 --> 00:01:33,684
. . .and I realize I'm totally naked.
16
00:01:34,132 --> 00:01:35,850
I've had that dream.
17
00:01:36,092 --> 00:01:39,721
Then I look down and I realize
there is a phone. . .
18
00:01:40,692 --> 00:01:42,125
. . .there.
19
00:01:44,412 --> 00:01:46,004
-Instead of--
-That's right!
20
00:01:46,492 --> 00:01:47,811
That one, I've never had.
21
00:01:48,052 --> 00:01:52,204
All of a sudden,
the phone starts to ring.
22
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:55,290
I don't know what to do.
Everybody's looking at me.
23
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,363
They weren't looking at you before?
24
00:01:58,892 --> 00:02:01,725
Finally, I figure
I'd better answer it.
25
00:02:02,772 --> 00:02:05,332
And it turns out it's my mother.
26
00:02:06,572 --> 00:02:10,326
Which is very, very weird
because she never calls me.
27
00:02:19,812 --> 00:02:22,531
This guy says, ''Hello,''
I wanna kill myself.
28
00:02:23,292 --> 00:02:24,281
You okay, sweetie?
29
00:02:25,332 --> 00:02:29,803
I feel like someone grabbed my small
intestine, pulled it out of my mouth. . .
30
00:02:30,052 --> 00:02:32,725
-. . .and tied it around my neck.
-Cookie?
31
00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:36,171
Carol moved out today.
32
00:02:37,212 --> 00:02:39,328
-Let me get you some coffee.
-Thanks.
33
00:02:43,692 --> 00:02:47,526
No, don't!
Stop cleansing my aura.
34
00:02:48,172 --> 00:02:50,447
Just leave my aura alone, okay?
35
00:02:50,692 --> 00:02:52,922
Fine. Be murky.
36
00:02:53,212 --> 00:02:56,284
I'll be fine.
I hope she'll be very happy.
37
00:02:56,492 --> 00:02:57,447
No, you don't.
38
00:02:57,692 --> 00:02:59,728
To hell with her. She left me!
39
00:03:00,772 --> 00:03:03,127
And you never knew she was a lesbian.
40
00:03:08,812 --> 00:03:11,451
Why does everyone
keep fixating on that?
41
00:03:13,012 --> 00:03:15,526
She didn't know.
How should I know?
42
00:03:17,372 --> 00:03:19,932
Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian.
43
00:03:21,772 --> 00:03:23,728
Did I say that out loud?
44
00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:29,522
I told Mom and Dad last night.
They seemed to take it well.
45
00:03:29,772 --> 00:03:33,970
Really? So that hysterical call I got
from a woman sobbing at 3 a.m. . .
46
00:03:34,212 --> 00:03:36,442
. . . ''I'll never have grandchildren! ''
47
00:03:36,692 --> 00:03:38,728
Was, what? A wrong number?
48
00:03:39,412 --> 00:03:40,731
Sorry.
49
00:03:41,252 --> 00:03:44,164
Look, you're feeling
a lot of pain right now.
50
00:03:44,412 --> 00:03:46,721
You're angry. You're hurting.
51
00:03:46,972 --> 00:03:49,122
Can I tell you what
the answer is?
52
00:03:49,412 --> 00:03:50,606
Strip joints!
53
00:03:52,612 --> 00:03:55,922
Come on, you're single.
Have some hormones.
54
00:03:56,172 --> 00:03:58,322
See, but I don't want
to be single, okay?
55
00:03:58,532 --> 00:04:01,330
I just want to be married again.
56
00:04:05,852 --> 00:04:07,843
And I just want a million dollars!
57
00:04:12,932 --> 00:04:13,921
Rachel?
58
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:16,561
Oh, God, Monica!
Hi! Thank God!
59
00:04:16,812 --> 00:04:19,724
I went to your building and
this guy with a hammer said. . .
60
00:04:19,932 --> 00:04:22,207
. . .that you might be here and you are.
61
00:04:22,452 --> 00:04:25,524
-Can I get you some coffee?
-Decaf.
62
00:04:26,532 --> 00:04:29,968
Everybody, this is Rachel,
another Lincoln High survivor.
63
00:04:30,172 --> 00:04:32,732
This is everybody.
Chandler and Phoebe. . .
64
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:35,167
. . .and Joey. And remember
my brother, Ross?
65
00:04:35,412 --> 00:04:36,322
Sure!
66
00:04:46,012 --> 00:04:50,130
You want to tell us now, or are we
waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
67
00:04:51,532 --> 00:04:56,128
Oh, God! Well, it started about
a half-hour before the wedding.
68
00:04:56,372 --> 00:04:58,840
I was in this room with
all the presents. . .
69
00:04:59,092 --> 00:05:01,128
. . .and I was looking
at this gravy boat.
70
00:05:01,332 --> 00:05:04,722
This really gorgeous
Limoges gravy boat.
71
00:05:04,932 --> 00:05:07,321
When all of a sudden I realize--
Sweet 'N Low?
72
00:05:07,732 --> 00:05:09,848
I realized. . .
73
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:13,687
. . .I was more turned on by
this gravy boat than by Barry.
74
00:05:13,892 --> 00:05:16,565
And then I really freaked out,
when it hit me:
75
00:05:16,812 --> 00:05:19,326
How much Barry looks like
Mr. Potato Head.
76
00:05:20,172 --> 00:05:22,925
I always knew he looked
familiar, but. . . .
77
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,923
I had to get out of there,
and I started wondering. . .
78
00:05:29,132 --> 00:05:32,602
. . . ''Why am I doing this?''
and ''Who am I doing this for?''
79
00:05:32,852 --> 00:05:37,050
I didn't know where to go, and I know
you and I have drifted apart. . .
80
00:05:37,292 --> 00:05:39,931
. . .but you're the only person
I know in the city.
81
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,770
Who wasn't asked to the wedding.
82
00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,925
I was kind of hoping that
wouldn't be an issue.
83
00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:02,242
I guess he bought her
the pipe organ. . .
84
00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,926
. . .and she's really not
happy about it.
85
00:06:06,412 --> 00:06:07,481
''Tuna or egg salad?''
86
00:06:07,732 --> 00:06:08,847
''Decide! ''
87
00:06:10,492 --> 00:06:13,723
''I'll have whatever
Christine is having. ''
88
00:06:15,132 --> 00:06:18,169
Daddy, I just--
I can't marry him.
89
00:06:18,692 --> 00:06:20,171
I'm sorry.
90
00:06:20,412 --> 00:06:22,926
I just don't love him.
91
00:06:23,612 --> 00:06:25,682
Well, it matters to me!
92
00:06:29,252 --> 00:06:33,325
''If I let go of my hair,
my head will fall off. ''
93
00:06:34,772 --> 00:06:37,445
She should not be
wearing those pants.
94
00:06:38,772 --> 00:06:40,763
I say push her down the stairs!
95
00:06:41,012 --> 00:06:43,606
Push her down the stairs!
Push her down the stairs!
96
00:06:47,692 --> 00:06:49,444
Come on, Daddy, listen!
97
00:06:50,892 --> 00:06:54,487
All my life, everyone's
always told me, ''You're a shoe! ''
98
00:06:55,132 --> 00:06:57,407
''You're a shoe! You're a shoe!
You're a shoe! ''
99
00:06:57,652 --> 00:07:00,564
I stopped and said,
''What if I don't wanna be a shoe?
100
00:07:00,812 --> 00:07:04,248
What if I want to be a purse?
101
00:07:04,452 --> 00:07:05,726
Or a hat?''
102
00:07:06,732 --> 00:07:09,041
I don't want you to buy me a hat,
I--
103
00:07:09,292 --> 00:07:11,328
It's a metaphor, Daddy!
104
00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:15,321
You can see where he'd have trouble.
105
00:07:17,932 --> 00:07:19,763
Look, Daddy, it's my life.
106
00:07:21,412 --> 00:07:24,324
Well, maybe I'll just stay
here with Monica.
107
00:07:26,372 --> 00:07:29,330
I guess we've established
she's staying with Monica.
108
00:07:30,292 --> 00:07:32,522
Well, maybe that's my decision.
109
00:07:33,612 --> 00:07:35,728
Well, maybe I don't need your money.
110
00:07:35,932 --> 00:07:37,729
Wait! Wait! I said maybe!
111
00:07:45,892 --> 00:07:48,565
Just breathe.
Breathe, that's it.
112
00:07:48,812 --> 00:07:51,121
Just try to think
of nice, calm things.
113
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:55,042
Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
114
00:07:55,292 --> 00:07:59,205
Doorbells and sleigh bells
And something with mittens
115
00:07:59,972 --> 00:08:03,362
La la la something
And noodles with string
116
00:08:03,612 --> 00:08:05,728
-These are a--
-I'm all better now.
117
00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,125
I helped.
118
00:08:11,172 --> 00:08:13,447
This is probably for
the best, you know?
119
00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:16,852
Independence.
Taking control of your life.
120
00:08:17,092 --> 00:08:18,650
The whole ''hat'' thing.
121
00:08:18,892 --> 00:08:23,044
If you need anything,
you can always come to Joey.
122
00:08:23,292 --> 00:08:26,443
Me and Chandler live across the hall.
And he's away a lot.
123
00:08:28,292 --> 00:08:30,726
Joey, stop hitting on her!
It's her wedding day.
124
00:08:30,972 --> 00:08:33,532
What? Like there's
a rule or something?
125
00:08:36,212 --> 00:08:37,327
I got it.
126
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:41,923
Please don't do that again.
It's a horrible sound.
127
00:08:42,172 --> 00:08:43,730
It's Paul.
128
00:08:43,972 --> 00:08:47,248
Oh, God. Is it 6:30?
Buzz him in.
129
00:08:47,492 --> 00:08:49,926
-Who's Paul?
-Paul, the wine guy?
130
00:08:50,132 --> 00:08:50,928
Maybe.
131
00:08:51,172 --> 00:08:54,289
Your ''not a real date,''
is with Paul, the wine guy?
132
00:08:54,532 --> 00:08:56,409
He finally asked you out?
133
00:08:56,612 --> 00:08:58,091
It's a ''Dear Diary'' moment.
134
00:08:59,572 --> 00:09:01,005
Rach, I can cancel.
135
00:09:01,252 --> 00:09:03,607
Oh, God. Please, no.
Go, I'll be fine.
136
00:09:03,852 --> 00:09:06,446
Ross are you okay?
Do you want me to stay?
137
00:09:07,812 --> 00:09:09,325
That'd be good.
138
00:09:11,612 --> 00:09:15,287
-Really?
-Go on! It's Paul, the wine guy!
139
00:09:16,012 --> 00:09:19,925
Does he sell it, drink it,
or he just complains a lot?
140
00:09:21,332 --> 00:09:23,562
Hi, come in! Paul, this is. . .
141
00:09:24,492 --> 00:09:26,847
. . .everybody.
Everybody, this is Paul.
142
00:09:28,532 --> 00:09:32,161
-The wine guy.
-I didn't catch your name. Paul?
143
00:09:33,812 --> 00:09:36,804
I'll be right back.
I've just got to go a--
144
00:09:37,092 --> 00:09:38,923
A-wandering?
145
00:09:39,612 --> 00:09:43,127
Change. Sit down.
Two seconds.
146
00:09:46,972 --> 00:09:50,328
I just pulled out four eyelashes.
That can't be good.
147
00:09:54,892 --> 00:09:57,042
Hey, Paul. Here's a little tip.
148
00:09:57,292 --> 00:10:00,250
She likes it when you
rub her neck in the same spot. . .
149
00:10:00,492 --> 00:10:03,689
. . .over and over again, till
it starts to get a little red.
150
00:10:04,812 --> 00:10:06,723
Shut up, Joey!
151
00:10:08,612 --> 00:10:10,443
Rachel, what are you
up to tonight?
152
00:10:11,212 --> 00:10:14,966
I was supposed to be headed
for Aruba on my honeymoon. . .
153
00:10:15,212 --> 00:10:16,725
. . .so, nothing.
154
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:21,529
Right. You're not even
getting your honeymoon.
155
00:10:21,772 --> 00:10:26,323
Although, Aruba. This time of year?
Talk about your. . .
156
00:10:27,372 --> 00:10:28,771
. . .big lizards.
157
00:10:32,972 --> 00:10:35,611
If you don't feel
like being alone tonight. . .
158
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:38,730
. . .Joey and Chandler are
helping me with my furniture.
159
00:10:38,932 --> 00:10:41,321
And we're very excited about it.
160
00:10:42,172 --> 00:10:45,005
Thanks. But I'm just gonna
hang out here.
161
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,521
-It's been a long day.
-Okay. Sure.
162
00:10:47,732 --> 00:10:48,687
Pheebs, wanna help?
163
00:10:49,012 --> 00:10:51,207
I wish I could, but I don't want to.
164
00:11:02,972 --> 00:11:05,725
Love is sweet as summer showers
165
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:08,651
Love is a wondrous work of art
166
00:11:08,892 --> 00:11:13,807
But your love, oh, your love
Your love
167
00:11:14,692 --> 00:11:17,729
Is like a giant pigeon
168
00:11:19,092 --> 00:11:21,447
Crapping on my heart
169
00:11:24,932 --> 00:11:26,331
Thank you!
170
00:11:35,012 --> 00:11:38,971
I'm supposed to attach a bracket-y
thing to the side things. . .
171
00:11:39,212 --> 00:11:42,522
. . .using a bunch of these
little worm guys.
172
00:11:43,092 --> 00:11:47,529
I have no bracket-y thing.
I see no worm guys whatsoever. . .
173
00:11:47,772 --> 00:11:50,650
. . .and I cannot feel my legs.
174
00:11:53,812 --> 00:11:54,961
We got a bookcase here.
175
00:11:55,212 --> 00:11:57,123
It's a beautiful thing.
176
00:11:58,012 --> 00:11:59,240
What's this?
177
00:11:59,492 --> 00:12:02,882
I would have to say that is
an L-shaped bracket.
178
00:12:04,692 --> 00:12:08,526
-Which goes where?
-I have no idea.
179
00:12:10,492 --> 00:12:12,687
-Done with the bookcase.
-All finished.
180
00:12:16,612 --> 00:12:19,126
This was Carol's favorite beer.
181
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:23,524
She always drank it out of the can.
I should have known.
182
00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:29,567
If you start with that,
we're out of here.
183
00:12:29,772 --> 00:12:32,605
Please don't spoil all this fun.
184
00:12:32,812 --> 00:12:34,086
Let me ask you a question.
185
00:12:34,332 --> 00:12:38,530
She got the furniture,
the stereo, the good TV.
186
00:12:38,732 --> 00:12:39,767
What did you get?
187
00:12:40,612 --> 00:12:41,522
You guys.
188
00:12:41,732 --> 00:12:43,563
-You got screwed.
-Oh, my God.
189
00:12:43,812 --> 00:12:48,328
-Oh, my God.
-I know. I'm such an idiot.
190
00:12:48,532 --> 00:12:52,764
I should've caught on when she went to
the dentist four and five times a week.
191
00:12:53,012 --> 00:12:55,082
I mean, how clean can teeth get?
192
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:57,522
My brother's going through that.
He's a mess.
193
00:12:57,732 --> 00:12:59,165
How did you get through it?
194
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:02,768
He might try accidentally breaking
something valuable of hers.
195
00:13:03,012 --> 00:13:04,286
-Say her--
-Leg?
196
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,483
That's one way of going through it.
197
00:13:07,092 --> 00:13:08,491
Me, I went for the watch.
198
00:13:09,132 --> 00:13:13,410
You actually broke her watch?
The worst thing I ever did was. . .
199
00:13:13,652 --> 00:13:16,530
. . .I shredded my old boyfriend's
favorite bath towel.
200
00:13:16,772 --> 00:13:19,411
-Steer clear of you!
-That's right.
201
00:13:20,012 --> 00:13:22,970
Barry, I'm sorry.
I am so sorry.
202
00:13:23,212 --> 00:13:28,127
You probably think it's about making
love with your socks on, but it isn't.
203
00:13:28,412 --> 00:13:30,926
It's about me.
And I just--
204
00:13:37,532 --> 00:13:40,285
Machine cut me off again.
Anyway. . . .
205
00:13:44,972 --> 00:13:49,762
I know that some girl is going to be
lucky to become Mr. Barry Finkel.
206
00:13:50,012 --> 00:13:53,163
But it isn't me.
It's not me.
207
00:13:53,412 --> 00:13:58,327
Not that I have any idea who ''me'' is
right now, but give me a chance to--
208
00:14:00,412 --> 00:14:01,811
I'm divorced!
209
00:14:02,052 --> 00:14:03,963
I'm only 26 and I'm divorced.
210
00:14:04,212 --> 00:14:06,123
Shut up.
211
00:14:12,412 --> 00:14:14,528
That only took me an hour.
212
00:14:15,692 --> 00:14:20,322
Between us, we haven't had a
relationship last longer than a Mento.
213
00:14:23,292 --> 00:14:26,489
You, however, have had the love
of a woman for four years.
214
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:29,929
Four years of closeness and sharing.
215
00:14:30,132 --> 00:14:31,850
After which,
she ripped your heart out. . .
216
00:14:32,092 --> 00:14:34,322
. . .and that is why we don't do it.
217
00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:37,922
I don't think that was my point.
218
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:43,125
You know what's scary? What if there
is only one woman for everybody?
219
00:14:43,372 --> 00:14:46,523
I mean, what if you get one
woman, and that's it?
220
00:14:46,732 --> 00:14:51,408
Unfortunately, in my case,
there was only one woman for her.
221
00:14:53,212 --> 00:14:56,329
What are you talking about?
One woman.
222
00:14:57,092 --> 00:15:00,368
That's like saying there's only
one flavor of ice cream for you.
223
00:15:00,612 --> 00:15:04,321
Let me tell you something.
There's lots of flavors out there.
224
00:15:04,572 --> 00:15:08,611
Rocky road, and cookie dough,
and bing cherry vanilla.
225
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:13,683
You can get them with jimmies,
or nuts, or whipped cream.
226
00:15:13,892 --> 00:15:16,326
This is the best thing that
ever happened to you!
227
00:15:16,572 --> 00:15:19,245
You got married. You were
like, what? Eight?
228
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:24,921
Welcome back to the world.
Grab a spoon!
229
00:15:25,172 --> 00:15:27,561
I honestly don't know
if I'm hungry or horny.
230
00:15:28,132 --> 00:15:29,929
Then stay out of my freezer.
231
00:15:33,412 --> 00:15:36,643
Ever since she
walked out on me, I. . . .
232
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:38,769
What? What?
233
00:15:39,012 --> 00:15:41,242
You wanna spell it out with noodles?
234
00:15:41,492 --> 00:15:44,882
It's more of a fifth date
kind of revelation.
235
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:49,050
So there's going to be a fifth date?
236
00:15:50,452 --> 00:15:51,248
Isn't there?
237
00:15:52,332 --> 00:15:54,368
Yeah, yeah. I think there is.
238
00:15:55,372 --> 00:15:57,328
What were you going to say?
239
00:16:02,532 --> 00:16:04,682
Ever since she left me. . .
240
00:16:05,892 --> 00:16:07,962
. . .I haven't been able to perform. . .
241
00:16:09,132 --> 00:16:10,531
. . .sexually.
242
00:16:13,212 --> 00:16:14,611
Oh, God! Oh, God!
243
00:16:14,852 --> 00:16:15,921
I'm so sorry.
244
00:16:16,172 --> 00:16:19,528
Being spit on is probably
not what you need right now.
245
00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:22,608
How long?
246
00:16:23,372 --> 00:16:24,168
Two years.
247
00:16:26,772 --> 00:16:29,525
I'm glad you smashed her watch.
248
00:16:31,492 --> 00:16:34,723
So you still think you might
want that fifth date?
249
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,731
Yeah, I do.
250
00:16:42,012 --> 00:16:43,923
We are gathered here
to join together...
251
00:16:44,412 --> 00:16:46,642
...Joanie Louise Cunningham...
252
00:16:46,892 --> 00:16:51,329
...and Charles Chachi,
Chachi, Chachi...
253
00:16:52,732 --> 00:16:55,371
...in the bonds of holy matrimony.
254
00:16:55,612 --> 00:16:57,921
-Marriage is the most sacred--
-See!
255
00:16:58,172 --> 00:17:02,723
But Joanie loved Chachi.
That's the difference.
256
00:17:04,692 --> 00:17:06,410
''Grab a spoon. ''
257
00:17:06,612 --> 00:17:09,843
Do you know long it's been
since I grabbed a spoon?
258
00:17:10,092 --> 00:17:13,323
Do the words, ''Billy, don't be a
hero,'' mean anything to you?
259
00:17:17,812 --> 00:17:20,201
Great story. But I gotta go.
260
00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:22,285
I got a date with Andrea.
261
00:17:22,532 --> 00:17:25,524
Angela. Andrea. Oh, man.
262
00:17:25,772 --> 00:17:29,003
Andrea's the screamer.
Angela has cats.
263
00:17:29,252 --> 00:17:32,244
Right, thanks. It's Julie.
I'm out of here.
264
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:39,528
You know, here's the thing. Even if
I could get it together enough. . .
265
00:17:39,772 --> 00:17:41,524
. . .to ask a woman out. . .
266
00:17:42,412 --> 00:17:44,528
. . .who am I going to ask?
267
00:18:06,292 --> 00:18:07,520
Isn't this amazing?
268
00:18:07,732 --> 00:18:09,962
I have never made coffee
before in my life.
269
00:18:10,212 --> 00:18:12,601
-That is amazing.
-Congratulations.
270
00:18:12,852 --> 00:18:16,242
I figure if I can make coffee,
there isn't anything I can't do.
271
00:18:16,892 --> 00:18:21,124
I think it's, ''If I can invade Poland,
there isn't anything I can't do. ''
272
00:18:22,012 --> 00:18:26,130
If you feel like you gotta make
a Western omelet or something. . . .
273
00:18:29,372 --> 00:18:31,761
Although, actually
I'm really not that hungry.
274
00:18:33,572 --> 00:18:35,802
Oh, good.
Lenny and Squiggy are here.
275
00:18:37,612 --> 00:18:39,443
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
276
00:18:41,532 --> 00:18:43,170
-Morning.
-Morning, Paul.
277
00:18:43,412 --> 00:18:46,131
-Hello, Paul.
-Hi. Paul, is it?
278
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,160
Thank you.
279
00:18:54,412 --> 00:18:55,811
-Thank you so much.
-Stop!
280
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,371
Last night was like. . .
281
00:18:58,292 --> 00:19:02,968
. . .all my birthdays, graduations, plus
the barn-raising scene in Witness.
282
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:11,326
We'll talk later.
283
00:19:15,132 --> 00:19:16,531
Thank you.
284
00:19:23,572 --> 00:19:25,722
That wasn't a real date.
285
00:19:26,892 --> 00:19:29,326
What the hell do you do
on a real date?
286
00:19:31,012 --> 00:19:33,128
Shut up and put my table back.
287
00:19:34,532 --> 00:19:36,250
I've got to get to work.
288
00:19:36,492 --> 00:19:41,327
If I don't input those numbers,
it doesn't make much of a difference.
289
00:19:44,772 --> 00:19:47,127
So, like, you guys all have jobs?
290
00:19:48,292 --> 00:19:49,964
Yeah, we all have jobs.
291
00:19:50,212 --> 00:19:52,680
That's how we buy stuff.
292
00:19:54,852 --> 00:19:56,126
Yeah, I'm an actor.
293
00:19:56,572 --> 00:19:58,722
Have I seen you in anything?
294
00:19:58,972 --> 00:20:01,167
I doubt it.
Mostly regional work.
295
00:20:01,412 --> 00:20:05,041
Unless you happen to catch the
Wee One's production of Pinocchio...
296
00:20:05,252 --> 00:20:07,322
. . .at the Little Theater in the Park.
297
00:20:07,812 --> 00:20:09,211
It was a job, all right?
298
00:20:09,612 --> 00:20:12,922
''Look, Geppeto. I'm a real live boy. ''
299
00:20:14,892 --> 00:20:16,564
I will not take this abuse.
300
00:20:16,812 --> 00:20:18,723
You're right. I'm sorry.
301
00:20:18,932 --> 00:20:21,924
Once I was a wooden boy
A little wooden boy
302
00:20:23,412 --> 00:20:25,880
You should both know that
he's a dead man.
303
00:20:27,772 --> 00:20:29,330
Oh, Chandler!
304
00:20:32,012 --> 00:20:34,207
How are you doing today?
You sleep okay?
305
00:20:34,452 --> 00:20:37,922
Did you talk to Barry?
I can't stop smiling.
306
00:20:38,412 --> 00:20:41,722
I see that. You look like you
slept with a hanger in your mouth.
307
00:20:47,172 --> 00:20:50,050
I know. He's just so--
308
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,089
Remember you and Tony De Marco?
309
00:20:53,612 --> 00:20:56,331
Well, it's like that.
With feelings.
310
00:20:58,372 --> 00:21:00,681
-Are you in trouble!
-Big time!
311
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:03,242
Want a wedding dress?
Hardly used.
312
00:21:04,572 --> 00:21:07,325
We're getting a little
ahead of ourselves here.
313
00:21:08,132 --> 00:21:12,922
I'm going to get up, go to work,
and not think about him all day.
314
00:21:13,412 --> 00:21:16,131
Or else I'm just going
to get up and go to work.
315
00:21:16,372 --> 00:21:18,010
-Wish me luck!
-What for?
316
00:21:18,252 --> 00:21:21,403
I'm gonna go get one
of those job things.
317
00:21:32,212 --> 00:21:34,567
-Hey, Monica.
-Hey, Franny. Welcome back.
318
00:21:34,812 --> 00:21:36,245
How was Florida?
319
00:21:36,492 --> 00:21:38,722
You had sex, didn't you?
320
00:21:39,812 --> 00:21:40,608
How do you do that?
321
00:21:40,852 --> 00:21:43,525
I hate you. I'm pushing my
aunt through Parrot Jungle. . .
322
00:21:43,772 --> 00:21:45,205
. . .and you're having sex.
323
00:21:46,012 --> 00:21:48,924
So, who?
324
00:21:49,532 --> 00:21:50,931
You know Paul?
325
00:21:51,132 --> 00:21:52,929
Paul, the wine guy?
326
00:21:53,132 --> 00:21:54,360
Yeah, I know Paul.
327
00:21:56,892 --> 00:21:59,247
You mean, you know Paul
like I know Paul?
328
00:21:59,492 --> 00:22:01,687
Are you kidding?
I take credit for Paul.
329
00:22:01,892 --> 00:22:05,726
Before me, there was no snap in his
turtle for two years.
330
00:22:08,972 --> 00:22:11,327
Of course it was a line.
331
00:22:11,692 --> 00:22:14,286
Why? Why would anybody
do something like that?
332
00:22:14,532 --> 00:22:17,524
We're looking for an answer
more sophisticated than. . .
333
00:22:17,732 --> 00:22:19,529
. . . ''To get you into bed. ''
334
00:22:20,812 --> 00:22:22,962
I hate men. I hate men!
335
00:22:23,212 --> 00:22:25,806
Don't hate. Don't put that out
in the universe.
336
00:22:27,412 --> 00:22:28,765
Is it me?
337
00:22:29,012 --> 00:22:32,527
Is it like I have some sort of
beacon that only dogs. . .
338
00:22:32,772 --> 00:22:35,161
. . .and men with emotional
problems can hear?
339
00:22:35,412 --> 00:22:37,209
Come here.
Give me your feet.
340
00:22:44,492 --> 00:22:46,642
I just thought he was
nice, you know?
341
00:22:50,692 --> 00:22:53,923
I can't believe you
didn't know it was a line.
342
00:22:57,652 --> 00:22:58,448
Guess what?
343
00:22:58,732 --> 00:23:00,529
-You got a job?
-Are you kidding?
344
00:23:00,732 --> 00:23:02,404
I'm trained for nothing.
345
00:23:04,172 --> 00:23:06,083
I was laughed out of 12 interviews.
346
00:23:06,332 --> 00:23:07,765
You're surprisingly upbeat.
347
00:23:08,012 --> 00:23:11,322
You would be too if you found
Joan and David boots on sale. . .
348
00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:13,210
. . .50% percent off.
349
00:23:13,452 --> 00:23:15,170
How well you know me.
350
00:23:17,452 --> 00:23:19,761
They're my, ''I don't need
a job or my parents.
351
00:23:20,012 --> 00:23:22,003
I've got great boots,'' boots.
352
00:23:23,532 --> 00:23:25,443
-How did you pay for them?
-Credit card.
353
00:23:26,012 --> 00:23:27,604
And who pays for that?
354
00:23:28,212 --> 00:23:30,203
My father.
355
00:23:33,692 --> 00:23:35,523
Come on, is this necessary?
356
00:23:35,732 --> 00:23:37,563
I can stop charging any time I want.
357
00:23:37,812 --> 00:23:39,768
You can't live off your parents.
358
00:23:40,012 --> 00:23:43,561
I know that. That's why
I was getting married.
359
00:23:43,812 --> 00:23:47,282
Give her a break. It's hard being
on your own for the first time.
360
00:23:47,772 --> 00:23:49,125
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
361
00:23:49,332 --> 00:23:51,971
When I first came to
this city, I was 1 4.
362
00:23:52,172 --> 00:23:54,970
My mom had killed herself
and my stepdad was in prison.
363
00:23:55,212 --> 00:23:57,123
And I got here,
and I didn't know anybody.
364
00:23:57,372 --> 00:24:01,763
I ended up living with this albino
guy who was cleaning windshields.
365
00:24:02,012 --> 00:24:03,604
And then he killed himself.
366
00:24:03,852 --> 00:24:08,209
Then I found aromatherapy. Believe
me, I know exactly how you feel.
367
00:24:11,572 --> 00:24:13,927
The word you're looking for is:
368
00:24:14,612 --> 00:24:15,761
''Anyway. . . . ''
369
00:24:20,772 --> 00:24:21,966
You ready?
370
00:24:22,212 --> 00:24:24,407
No, I'm not ready.
How can I be ready?
371
00:24:24,652 --> 00:24:27,246
''You ready to jump out of
the plane without a chute?''
372
00:24:27,492 --> 00:24:28,481
I can't do this.
373
00:24:28,732 --> 00:24:30,723
-I know you can.
-I don't think so.
374
00:24:30,972 --> 00:24:33,532
You made coffee.
You can do anything.
375
00:24:36,212 --> 00:24:38,009
Cut, cut, cut.
376
00:24:42,972 --> 00:24:44,530
You know what?
377
00:24:44,772 --> 00:24:48,401
We can just leave it at that.
Like a symbolic gesture.
378
00:24:48,652 --> 00:24:50,449
That was a library card.
379
00:24:56,932 --> 00:25:01,528
If you listen very closely, you can
hear a thousand retailers scream.
380
00:25:04,612 --> 00:25:06,170
Welcome to the real world!
381
00:25:06,412 --> 00:25:08,926
It sucks.
You're gonna love it.
382
00:25:17,092 --> 00:25:18,923
That's it.
383
00:25:19,172 --> 00:25:20,525
You gonna crash on the couch?
384
00:25:20,772 --> 00:25:24,526
-No, I gotta go home sometime.
-Are you gonna be okay?
385
00:25:26,172 --> 00:25:27,810
Look what I just
found on the floor.
386
00:25:29,972 --> 00:25:30,961
What?
387
00:25:31,612 --> 00:25:33,250
That's Paul's watch.
388
00:25:33,492 --> 00:25:35,926
You can just put it back
where you found it.
389
00:25:36,812 --> 00:25:38,928
Oh, boy! All right.
390
00:25:39,492 --> 00:25:41,722
-Good night, everybody.
-Good night.
391
00:25:52,372 --> 00:25:53,168
-I'm sorry.
-No!
392
00:25:53,412 --> 00:25:55,926
-No, have it, really.
-Split it?
393
00:26:00,932 --> 00:26:04,720
You probably didn't know this,
but back in high school I had. . .
394
00:26:04,932 --> 00:26:06,968
. . .a major crush on you.
395
00:26:08,412 --> 00:26:09,527
I knew.
396
00:26:09,932 --> 00:26:11,331
You did?
397
00:26:13,092 --> 00:26:16,402
I figured you thought I was
Monica's geeky older brother.
398
00:26:16,612 --> 00:26:17,931
I did.
399
00:26:22,812 --> 00:26:24,564
Listen, do you think--
400
00:26:24,812 --> 00:26:28,930
And try not to let my vulnerability
become any kind of a factor here.
401
00:26:30,132 --> 00:26:33,920
Do you think it would be okay if
I asked you out sometime, maybe?
402
00:26:37,212 --> 00:26:38,440
Maybe.
403
00:26:45,812 --> 00:26:47,723
Okay, maybe I will.
404
00:26:51,932 --> 00:26:53,729
-Good night.
-Good night.
405
00:27:07,612 --> 00:27:08,931
See you.
406
00:27:11,132 --> 00:27:12,042
Wait, wait.
407
00:27:12,292 --> 00:27:13,361
What's with you?
408
00:27:16,012 --> 00:27:18,128
I just grabbed a spoon.
409
00:27:26,692 --> 00:27:28,205
I can't believe what
I'm hearing.
410
00:27:28,452 --> 00:27:30,010
I can 't believe
What I'm hearing
411
00:27:30,252 --> 00:27:32,322
-What? I said you had--
-What? I said you had--
412
00:27:33,252 --> 00:27:34,048
Would you stop?
413
00:27:34,772 --> 00:27:36,524
Was I doing it again?
414
00:27:38,412 --> 00:27:42,644
I said that you had a nice butt.
It's just not a great butt.
415
00:27:43,012 --> 00:27:45,606
You wouldn't know a great
butt if it bit you.
416
00:27:45,852 --> 00:27:47,331
There's an image.
417
00:27:49,612 --> 00:27:51,523
Would anybody like more coffee?
418
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:55,044
Did you make it?
419
00:27:55,812 --> 00:27:58,531
-I'm just serving it.
-I'll have a cup of coffee.
420
00:27:59,412 --> 00:28:00,686
Kids, new dream.
421
00:28:00,932 --> 00:28:02,047
I'm in Las Vegas.
422
00:28:02,292 --> 00:28:03,486
Miss, more coffee?
423
00:28:05,212 --> 00:28:08,329
Excuse me? Could you give this
to that guy over there?
424
00:28:09,332 --> 00:28:10,651
Go ahead.
425
00:28:10,892 --> 00:28:12,007
Thank you.
426
00:28:12,212 --> 00:28:14,328
Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
427
00:28:14,572 --> 00:28:16,290
So I'm in Las Vegas.
428
00:28:17,892 --> 00:28:19,530
I'm Liza Minnelli.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
32554
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.