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DRE: As a parent, you
want to protect your baby
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from everything.
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Like stairs...
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00:00:06,750 --> 00:00:08,359
Poison...
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00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:10,459
And White people trying
to touch their hair.
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- It's beautiful.
- [INDISTINCT MURMURING]
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But once they hit middle school,
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the biggest thing you
have to protect them from
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is themselves.
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00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,799
JACK: Jack Johnson,
cinnamon challenge, 2019.
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Esskeetit!
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00:00:24,700 --> 00:00:26,480
[COUGHING]
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00:00:28,220 --> 00:00:29,549
Damn it, Jack!
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00:00:29,550 --> 00:00:31,289
I'm Jack Johnson,
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00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:33,720
and this is the flu season challenge.
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00:00:33,721 --> 00:00:35,669
Esskeetit.
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00:00:35,670 --> 00:00:37,891
[MOANS]
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[THERMOMETER BEEPS]
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00:00:39,710 --> 00:00:41,102
Damn it, Jack!
20
00:00:41,103 --> 00:00:43,105
2019 Nitro Circus Challenge!
21
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:47,340
Esskeetit!
22
00:00:48,580 --> 00:00:49,789
[SHOUTS]
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00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:51,229
[CRASHES]
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[GROANS] Damn it, Jack!
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- [WEAKLY] Did I esskeetit?
- [TIRES SQUEAL]
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So I was on high-alert
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00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,679
for situations where Jack could
get himself into trouble.
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Guess who got new outfits
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00:01:02,790 --> 00:01:04,459
for the school dance!
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00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,779
I don't know why she does
that. It's me and Jack.
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00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:09,422
It's gonna be so much fun.
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00:01:09,423 --> 00:01:10,789
Mm-hmm.
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No. It's not.
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Because I'm chaperoning.
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Esskeetit! Esskeetit!
Esskeetit! Esskeetit!
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00:01:16,305 --> 00:01:17,969
Esskeetit!
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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♪ ♪
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I-I'll pay you $50 cash
if you don't chaperone.
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You protesting only tells me
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that you plan on doing
some dirt at the dance.
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You played yourself.
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Damn it, Jack.
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00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:36,279
Okay, Dad, if you're not going
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00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:37,959
to back out of it for
him, just do it for me.
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00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,879
If you show up dancing
and being all you,
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the kids at school will
treat me like Jack.
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[SIGHS] Baby girl, we all
have a price to pay for Jack,
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and sadly, this is yours.
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It's the Jack Tax.
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[SIGHS] Mom...
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Don't worry sweetie. I got you.
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00:01:49,964 --> 00:01:51,539
[SIGHS] Thank you.
54
00:01:51,540 --> 00:01:53,258
So glad I have one parent who gets it.
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00:01:53,259 --> 00:01:54,379
- Hey.
- Come on, Jack.
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00:01:54,380 --> 00:01:55,840
Let's go try on your
outfit, and I'll tell you
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what's gonna get you roasted
at the dance. Let's go.
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I think his outfit is very nice.
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00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,339
Dre, I think maybe
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00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:05,560
you should pass on the chaperoning.
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00:02:05,570 --> 00:02:06,999
I don't want you to embarrass Diane.
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00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:09,040
I get that, but I'm worried about Jack.
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00:02:09,050 --> 00:02:10,460
- I know.
- Someone needs to be around
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00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:12,659
to keep an eye on him during
his experimental phase,
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00:02:12,660 --> 00:02:15,000
especially at a private school dance
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00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,659
where there's drugs, alcohol,
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00:02:16,660 --> 00:02:18,283
and all kinds of other stuff.
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00:02:18,284 --> 00:02:20,953
You're right. You should be
there to look out for Jack.
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00:02:20,954 --> 00:02:22,199
Thank you.
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00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,740
But you cannot...
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00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:27,119
under any circumstances...
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- dance.
- What?
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00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:31,060
I will not let you embarrass Diane.
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00:02:31,070 --> 00:02:32,740
But what if they play my jam?
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00:02:32,750 --> 00:02:34,300
- No.
- What if there's a circle
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- with no one in the middle?
- No.
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00:02:36,220 --> 00:02:38,440
What if the spotlight
hits me just right?
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00:02:38,980 --> 00:02:40,380
No!
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Fine!
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00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:43,539
- I won't dance!
- Thank you.
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00:02:43,540 --> 00:02:45,219
But just know...
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you have robbed these kids of beauty.
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♪ Unh ♪
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Mm.
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00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,749
Okay, date night!
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00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,120
What do you want to watch?
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00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:58,640
What do you want to watch?
88
00:02:58,650 --> 00:03:00,910
Let's say what we want to
watch at the same time.
89
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:02,660
BOTH: "A Star is Born."
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00:03:02,661 --> 00:03:05,414
Oh, God, I love us.
91
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,819
Listen, have you... Hey, hey, hey!
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00:03:08,820 --> 00:03:10,002
Make room for Jesus.
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00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:13,579
Mm-hmm.
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00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:14,640
Mnh-mnh!
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00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:16,660
Jesus likes to stretch out.
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00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:18,659
Uh-huh.
97
00:03:18,660 --> 00:03:22,080
Yeah, yeah, well, that's more like it.
98
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,319
And, Junior, have you
seen Devante's Bubbasnug?
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00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,079
I'm asking 'cause you're
really the only one
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00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,145
looking after that child.
101
00:03:29,146 --> 00:03:30,149
Bubbasnug?
102
00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:32,579
It's a blankie and pacifier in one.
103
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,985
Genius collab. He had it
when we were at the par...
104
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,260
[WHISPERING] Oh, no.
105
00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:38,460
We must have left it there.
106
00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:39,863
He can't fall asleep without it.
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00:03:39,864 --> 00:03:41,160
Aw, poor little guy.
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00:03:41,170 --> 00:03:42,919
It's his favorite thing in the world.
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00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,279
We have to go back and look for it.
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00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,000
- Let me grab my stuff.
- Okay.
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00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:48,500
And then we can get back to
doing what we were doing.
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00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:52,120
You better not get back to
doing what you were doing.
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00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,499
Mm-hmm. 'Cause Black Jesus
sees you everywhere!
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00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,547
Uh-huh.
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00:03:56,548 --> 00:03:59,289
So my plan was to lock down Jack
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00:03:59,290 --> 00:04:01,160
and not embarrass Diane,
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00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:02,619
as if I even could.
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00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,709
- Hello, Jack's dad.
- Hello, Diane.
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00:04:05,710 --> 00:04:07,119
You don't know me,
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00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:08,919
and I don't know you.
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00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,329
Yes, just continue to lay low for me,
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00:04:11,330 --> 00:04:12,700
or even leave.
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00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:14,760
- Whatever feels right.
- Okay.
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00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:16,320
She doesn't get it,
125
00:04:16,330 --> 00:04:18,899
but I bet you're glad I'm here.
126
00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:20,919
Always happy to have a parent help out.
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00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,579
Yeah, well, but these other
parents aren't like me.
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00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:26,379
I know the difference
between a flash drive
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00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,539
and a [QUIETLY] vape pen.
130
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:29,560
Do you?
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00:04:30,950 --> 00:04:33,279
[SCOFFS] Flash drive.
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00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:35,600
This is the key to my
Civic, Mr. Johnson.
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00:04:37,820 --> 00:04:39,459
- Okay.
- [CHUCKLES]
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00:04:39,460 --> 00:04:41,999
- Is that a glitter bomb?
- No,
135
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,052
- it's two glitter bombs.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
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00:04:44,053 --> 00:04:45,799
So, what are you boys doing?
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00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,169
Nothing.
138
00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,240
Yeah, these are...
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00:04:49,250 --> 00:04:51,559
are... are dance s-sticks.
140
00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,820
Really? Give them to me.
141
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,440
Give them to me.
142
00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:57,639
Ha!
143
00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,819
So you thought you could
pull one over on me?
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00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:01,340
Please.
145
00:05:01,380 --> 00:05:04,760
I'm undefeated against children.
146
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,279
[SHRIEKING] Esskeetit!
147
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,139
[LAUGHS]
148
00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:10,419
DJ: Uh-oh!
149
00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:12,999
Look like we got a parent on the floor!
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00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,779
♪ Let me see you pop them things ♪
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00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:17,250
- ♪ Shake your... doo doo brown ♪
- Oh, that's... that's my jam.
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00:05:17,254 --> 00:05:18,962
Come on, Dad. You know you want it.
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00:05:18,963 --> 00:05:20,139
No, no, no, no, no, man.
154
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:21,899
Let the kids dance. It's their night.
155
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:22,959
♪ I wanna rock my man ♪
156
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,619
♪ I wan', I wanna rock my man ♪
157
00:05:24,620 --> 00:05:26,979
- ♪ I wanna rock my man ♪
- Uh, maybe it's my night, too.
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[CHUCKLES]
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00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:31,329
All right, come on, y'all!
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00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,540
Come on! Ha, ha!
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00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:36,040
It's a party now! Come on, party!
162
00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:37,059
Party!
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00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,879
♪ Man, man, m-m-m-man ♪
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00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,879
♪ ♪
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00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,829
God is real.
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00:05:44,830 --> 00:05:46,219
♪ Let me hear you say ♪
167
00:05:46,220 --> 00:05:47,993
- ♪ "Hey, hey, and more hey" ♪
- Come on. Ride the pony! Come on!
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00:05:47,994 --> 00:05:49,959
Ride the pony! Come on!
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00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:52,219
Ride the pony! Ha, ha!
170
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,879
- ♪ Let me hear you say ♪
- Come on!
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Whoo! Yeah!
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00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:58,579
[APPLAUSE]
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Thank you. Thank you very much.
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00:06:01,010 --> 00:06:02,879
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
175
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,380
- ♪ Doo doo brown ♪
- Diane?
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00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,359
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
♪ Doo doo brown ♪
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00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:07,820
- ♪ Doo doo brown ♪
- Man, why'd you make me dance?
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00:06:07,940 --> 00:06:09,500
Diane!
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00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,669
I'm sorry I embarrassed you!
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00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:13,879
♪ ♪
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00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,249
- ♪ Shake your things, baby ♪
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
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00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,509
♪ Shake your things, baby ♪
183
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:18,524
♪ Shake, shake them things, baby ♪
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Diane?
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00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,440
Dad?!
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00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,650
Noooooo!
187
00:06:27,658 --> 00:06:28,739
Mr. Johnson,
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00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:31,240
I'm concerned about your
abilities as a chaperone.
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00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,240
[WHIMPERING] So am I.
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00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:42,140
♪ ♪
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00:06:42,180 --> 00:06:44,040
MASON: No one feels like talking, huh?
192
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:47,339
That's okay. I'm totally
fine with silence.
193
00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:50,060
Dr. Goldberg says I don't
have to narrate everything.
194
00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:56,039
Hey, did you hear
195
00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,679
that there were some kids making out?
196
00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,089
[WHIMPERS]
197
00:06:59,090 --> 00:07:01,549
I wonder if there's
some pictures of that.
198
00:07:01,550 --> 00:07:03,199
That'd be nice to see.
199
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,540
Oh, but then again,
200
00:07:04,550 --> 00:07:06,880
I also think that young
lovers deserve privacy.
201
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:10,259
- Mason?
- Mm-hmm?
202
00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:13,540
How about we, uh, don't talk?
203
00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,140
You got it.
204
00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:19,039
Does this car have air bags?
205
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,930
Mason, I said please don't talk!
206
00:07:24,020 --> 00:07:26,040
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Hi!
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00:07:26,050 --> 00:07:28,009
DRE: Go upstairs, and don't
come out until I figure out
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00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:29,219
what to do with both of you.
209
00:07:29,220 --> 00:07:30,439
Go!
210
00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,720
What happened? Why are you back so soon,
211
00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:34,879
and why... why do you have pit stains?
212
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:35,999
Did you dance?
213
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,159
You know who you married.
214
00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,420
I'm never gonna dance again.
215
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,219
Your son set off a glitter bomb...
216
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,780
- [GROANS]
- ... and your daughter... your...
217
00:07:46,470 --> 00:07:48,359
[VOICE BREAKING] your
daughter, she broke my heart.
218
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,460
How?
219
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:50,920
[WHIMPERS]
220
00:07:53,380 --> 00:07:55,439
I saw her kissing a boy!
221
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,679
Oh!
222
00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:58,469
That is so exciting!
223
00:07:58,470 --> 00:08:00,150
Oh, my God!
224
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,060
- What a moment!
- It's not a moment, Bow!
225
00:08:03,070 --> 00:08:05,089
- It was gross.
- Oh, come on.
226
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:06,549
It was a head-wobbling,
227
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:08,879
open-mouth, public slob down.
228
00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,519
How long were you watching?
229
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,320
Long enough. I saw everything.
230
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:15,399
Damn it! I should've
never got that LASIK.
231
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,119
Dre, Diane kissing a boy
232
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,980
is normal and healthy.
233
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,179
We... We should be excited for her,
234
00:08:23,180 --> 00:08:24,239
not shaming her.
235
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:26,599
That does not even sound right, Bow!
236
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,719
- What?
- Public kissing is how a girl
237
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,779
- gets a reputation.
- Oh, my God.
238
00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:33,199
And it's my job to make sure she
does not become "that girl."
239
00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,400
That kind of talk
240
00:08:35,410 --> 00:08:39,589
is going to make her feel
ashamed about her body
241
00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:43,719
and about kissing and about
natural exploration.
242
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:44,940
Will you please stop talking, Bow?
243
00:08:44,950 --> 00:08:47,059
No, you stop talking, Dre!
244
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,679
I am gonna go and reassure Diane
245
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,330
about this exciting and special night
246
00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:56,320
that you have made very, very weird.
247
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,759
Unbelievable.
248
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:01,759
Diane, Mommy's coming!
249
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:06,379
♪ ♪
250
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,619
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
251
00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:10,299
♪ ♪
252
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,519
I'm Devante. I'm a toddler.
253
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:15,599
The natural flow of the
park sends me in...
254
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,680
this direction!
255
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,759
[GRUNTS]
256
00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,919
Come on, Bubbasnug.
257
00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:21,959
Ah, boom!
258
00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,590
- Found it!
- Really?
259
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:29,049
No... Oh, it's just a
gently used diaper.
260
00:09:29,050 --> 00:09:32,000
Okay, that's the third
diaper you've found.
261
00:09:32,010 --> 00:09:34,339
Can we just run and get
him a new pacifier?
262
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,000
[SCOFFS] Pacifier?
263
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,659
You think I've been acting like a jerk
264
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:39,880
for a pacifier?
265
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,179
No, he needs his Bubbasnug.
266
00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:44,940
You know what we should do?
267
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:45,979
- Break into the Bubbasnug factory...
- Get in the car...
268
00:09:45,980 --> 00:09:48,699
- ... in Fontana.
- ... and go home.
269
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:50,280
I thought we were gonna
say the same thing.
270
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,219
Look, Junior,
271
00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:54,629
I haven't said anything,
but every date night,
272
00:09:54,630 --> 00:09:56,479
something like this comes up.
273
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,209
Last week, we missed the burger pop-up
274
00:09:58,210 --> 00:09:59,819
because you had to watch Devante.
275
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:01,799
Dad had Clipper tickets.
276
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:02,899
Against Charlotte!
277
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:05,129
- He needed a night!
- So do we!
278
00:10:05,130 --> 00:10:07,219
I blew off my friends
to hang out with you.
279
00:10:07,220 --> 00:10:08,819
I don't care about
this stupid Bubbasnug.
280
00:10:08,820 --> 00:10:11,700
Wow. That says it all.
281
00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:13,379
That says what?
282
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,459
That you're like that.
283
00:10:14,460 --> 00:10:17,339
That I'm "like" what?
284
00:10:17,340 --> 00:10:20,640
♪ ♪
285
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:23,249
Hi.
286
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,849
Is Dad ever gonna talk to me again?
287
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:26,720
Of course he is.
288
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:30,229
Your dad and I are so excited for you.
289
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,789
That's not true.
290
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,399
He wouldn't look at me
the whole way home.
291
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,179
Honey, look, your dad is just hung up
292
00:10:36,180 --> 00:10:38,940
on the fact that he still
sees you as his little girl.
293
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,199
But, sweetheart,
294
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,289
what you did is completely
natural for a kid your age.
295
00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:47,539
Seriously.
296
00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:50,459
And I'm here so you can
tell me all about it, okay?
297
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:51,819
I'm your sounding board.
298
00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:55,039
- Okay.
- So, what's his name?
299
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,460
- Jalen.
- Jalen!
300
00:10:56,470 --> 00:10:57,780
What? [GIGGLES]
301
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,380
He sounds so cute. Is he cute?
302
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,100
- Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
- I knew it.
303
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:04,619
I have never known an
ugly Jalen. What else?
304
00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:06,340
- He's in eighth grade.
- Okay.
305
00:11:06,350 --> 00:11:08,099
He's on the debate team.
That's how we met.
306
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,319
- So he's smart.
- Mm-hmm.
307
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,099
Nice. I love it. What else?
308
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:13,109
Well, he's the lead in
the spring musical.
309
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:16,320
[GASPS] Show biz. Okay, okay.
310
00:11:16,340 --> 00:11:19,699
So, how did this whole thing unfold?
311
00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:22,669
- Well, we met up at the dance...
- Okay.
312
00:11:22,670 --> 00:11:24,300
Hey, Diane.
313
00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,409
- Hi.
- You look great.
314
00:11:26,410 --> 00:11:28,419
Thanks.
315
00:11:28,420 --> 00:11:30,829
- You, too.
- Yeah, but you look better.
316
00:11:30,830 --> 00:11:32,420
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
317
00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:36,200
...and... then we kissed.
318
00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:39,090
[CRYING] Oh, my God.
319
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,929
- Are you okay?
- Yes, tell me more.
320
00:11:44,930 --> 00:11:49,219
So Bow was trying to get me
to see Diane in a new light,
321
00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:51,079
but I was struggling.
322
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:54,379
It was my instinct to
protect my little girl,
323
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,059
find out who this boy was,
324
00:11:56,060 --> 00:11:58,420
and how long it had been going on.
325
00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:00,900
But maybe Bow was right.
326
00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:04,659
Nope. Bow was wrong.
327
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:06,399
Who is the boy?!
328
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,340
What is his name?!
329
00:12:08,350 --> 00:12:09,679
Uh-uh-uh, I don't know!
330
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,159
Uh-uh-uh, figure it out, Glitter Bomber!
331
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:16,419
You are staring at six
months hard no-screen time.
332
00:12:16,420 --> 00:12:18,640
I'm not rolling over on my twin.
333
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,980
So you're good with not
being able to upload
334
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,699
your idiotic challenge videos.
335
00:12:25,700 --> 00:12:27,499
Whoa, whoa, whoa, th-that's my brand.
336
00:12:27,500 --> 00:12:30,579
Give... me... a... name!!
337
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:33,000
Okay, okay, Jalen... Jalen Hunter!
338
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,050
Good.
339
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:37,700
Now, how long has this been going on?
340
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:40,319
Uh, I don't know,
341
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,189
probably since she and Ricky broke up.
342
00:12:42,190 --> 00:12:43,550
Ricky?
343
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,359
There's another boy?!
344
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,300
Oh, God. I've said too much.
345
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:51,699
Oh, she's gonna kill me and
make it look like an accident.
346
00:12:51,700 --> 00:12:54,099
Oh, you've got to tell her
I-I didn't break easy,
347
00:12:54,100 --> 00:12:55,780
- pl... please...
- Shut up!
348
00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:58,169
Eight months no screen time now.
349
00:12:58,170 --> 00:13:00,169
We don't like snitches.
350
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,800
What?
351
00:13:02,710 --> 00:13:04,289
[DOOR OPENS]
352
00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,460
- Damn it, Jack.
- [DOOR SLAMS]
353
00:13:05,470 --> 00:13:08,389
Well, excuse me for being
a Black man in America
354
00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:10,469
trying to do right by a
kid who's not my own.
355
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:12,640
Exactly! He's not your own.
356
00:13:12,650 --> 00:13:14,429
I didn't sign up to
date a single father.
357
00:13:14,430 --> 00:13:16,040
Didn't sign up for this?
358
00:13:16,050 --> 00:13:17,959
Wow. It... It feels like
you've had that one
359
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,690
loaded up for a while.
360
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,220
You know what?
361
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,359
I don't think this is gonna work out.
362
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:33,660
♪ ♪
363
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:36,080
- This is so nice.
- Mm-hmm.
364
00:13:36,100 --> 00:13:39,129
Just sitting here, relating,
365
00:13:39,130 --> 00:13:40,789
being in your safe space.
366
00:13:40,790 --> 00:13:42,080
- Thanks, Mom.
- Yeah.
367
00:13:42,090 --> 00:13:44,009
You know, all my friends
are jealous of me.
368
00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:46,959
Jealous of the bond that we have.
369
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,160
It's about honesty
370
00:13:49,170 --> 00:13:50,599
and keeping that door open.
371
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,059
- Mm-hmm.
- [DRILL WHIRRING]
372
00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:53,540
What is that?
373
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,740
- [THUD]
- [GASPS]
374
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:56,799
Dad?!
375
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,269
Dre, what are you doing?!
376
00:13:58,270 --> 00:14:00,979
I'm doing what I need to
do to protect my daughter.
377
00:14:00,980 --> 00:14:02,590
And that means no more privacy,
378
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,479
because it's clearly shown to me
379
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,609
that you've had too much of it!
380
00:14:05,610 --> 00:14:07,980
All she did was kiss a boy.
381
00:14:07,990 --> 00:14:10,180
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
382
00:14:10,220 --> 00:14:12,420
Did she tell you about Ricky?
383
00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:14,699
Who's Ricky?
384
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,020
Sweetheart?
385
00:14:16,780 --> 00:14:18,040
Sweetie?
386
00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:19,789
Who...
387
00:14:19,790 --> 00:14:21,380
Who's Ricky?!
388
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:26,340
He was a guy I used to hang out with.
389
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,900
Okay, wait a minute.
390
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:32,259
Did you or did you not
391
00:14:32,260 --> 00:14:35,770
have your first kiss with Jalen?
392
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,579
I mean...
393
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,849
[DRILL WHIRRING, DRE GROANING]
394
00:14:39,850 --> 00:14:41,649
I can't believe this!
395
00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,679
You let me believe
396
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:47,210
that Jalen was your first kiss!
397
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,109
What else are you not telling me?
398
00:14:49,110 --> 00:14:50,560
Mom, it's not like that.
399
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:52,039
So you didn't have a boyfriend
400
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,239
that you kept hidden from us?
401
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,659
I mean...
402
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:56,419
Oh, my God.
403
00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:58,479
I thought we were connecting!
404
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,419
I thought I was your safe space!
405
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,299
Hold my gun, Bow. Hold my gun.
406
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,499
- [DRILL WHIRS]
- Okay, Diane. This is it!
407
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,360
No more boys!
408
00:15:06,370 --> 00:15:08,419
No more privacy!
409
00:15:08,420 --> 00:15:10,479
You are living your
life out in the open.
410
00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:13,059
You are living in piles now, young lady!
411
00:15:13,060 --> 00:15:14,969
Mom, are you really going
to let him do this?!
412
00:15:14,970 --> 00:15:17,460
Yes, I am! And I am gonna get involved.
413
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:18,859
No more safe spaces for you.
414
00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:19,869
You give me your phone.
415
00:15:19,870 --> 00:15:21,350
It's right there.
416
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:23,920
Give me your burner.
417
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,680
What's a burner?
418
00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:27,400
Don't insult me.
419
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:33,420
Come on!
420
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,650
[DRILL WHIRRING, PHONE CRACKS]
421
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,709
[SIGHS]
422
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:45,020
♪ ♪
423
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:46,299
[BELT JINGLES]
424
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,659
- I can't believe it's come to this.
- What?
425
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:51,059
I don't want to go
through Diane's phone.
426
00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:53,179
W-Why did we never have
this problem with Zoey?
427
00:15:53,180 --> 00:15:55,469
That's because Zoey never kissed a boy.
428
00:15:55,470 --> 00:15:57,560
You know Zoey's done a lot
more than kiss a boy.
429
00:15:57,580 --> 00:15:59,379
- Mnh-mnh.
- We had a huge fight about it
430
00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:00,579
- last year, Dre.
- You know what?
431
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:03,379
I blocked that entire
period from my memory.
432
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:05,759
- [QUIETLY] Of course you did.
- Lost a lot of things.
433
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,779
Like, I can't remember
who won March Madness
434
00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:09,899
or Devante's first steps,
but you know what?
435
00:16:09,900 --> 00:16:11,999
- [GLASS THUDS]
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
436
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,029
It was worth it.
437
00:16:13,030 --> 00:16:15,679
Maybe it's because Zoey always acted
438
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:17,980
like she had everything
under control, you know?
439
00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:19,999
She... Like, she never needed my help,
440
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:23,199
but Diane always comes to
me with this kind of stuff.
441
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,879
Okay, baby, if she's
not gonna talk to you,
442
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,579
maybe we should just lock her down.
443
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,679
- What?
- She is just a little girl.
444
00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,439
- Dre...
- Is she?
445
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,209
She's 13.
446
00:16:32,210 --> 00:16:34,679
When I was 13, I was managing an Arby's.
447
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,179
Yeah. We baby our kids
longer than we used to.
448
00:16:38,180 --> 00:16:40,639
The twins are our babies.
449
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:41,999
They were your babies.
450
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,579
That's your problem.
451
00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:45,789
You keep seeing them for who they were,
452
00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:47,019
not for who they are.
453
00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:49,939
Now, they're in separate rooms.
454
00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:51,560
Diane's had her period,
455
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:53,819
and Jack has a training mustache.
456
00:16:53,820 --> 00:16:55,720
You know what? You're right.
457
00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:56,999
I know the kids are getting older,
458
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,579
and I'm okay with that. I just...
459
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,139
[SIGHS] I just wish Diane
460
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,659
wouldn't keep these kinds
of things from me.
461
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,879
Oh, so when you were her age,
462
00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,459
you told your mom about all
the boys you were with?
463
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,740
- Oh, no.
- And you're still close with her...
464
00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:13,089
- Yeah.
- ... even though she's terrible.
465
00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:14,920
Oh, my God.
466
00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:17,560
Look, I don't know if
I can keep her safe
467
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,219
if she doesn't tell us stuff.
468
00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:21,139
If y'all keep acting all crazy,
469
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,920
she's gonna tell you less.
470
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,179
Now, like it or not,
she's gonna have a door,
471
00:17:26,180 --> 00:17:27,999
and it's up to y'all
472
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,480
whether it's the door to her room
473
00:17:30,500 --> 00:17:32,529
or the door to her heart.
474
00:17:32,530 --> 00:17:35,400
- Okay?
- Mm.
475
00:17:40,220 --> 00:17:41,340
What are you doing?
476
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:43,319
- Why are you reading?
- JACK: [SIGHS]
477
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,579
Dad banned me from screens,
478
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:47,299
- so I got into Grandma's books.
- Mm.
479
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,659
Did you know that women
have rich inner lives?
480
00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:51,919
And a married man's never
gonna leave his wife?
481
00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:52,980
You know, Jack?
482
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:55,090
I, too, have been waiting to exhale.
483
00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:58,460
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
484
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,619
- Niecy dumped me.
- Hang on.
485
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,660
Let me get into real-talk position.
486
00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:06,360
[SIGHS]
487
00:18:06,380 --> 00:18:08,730
You know, I don't know what went...
488
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,439
I don't know what went wr...
489
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,010
[GRUNTS]
490
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,520
Proceed.
491
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:21,719
I don't know what went wrong, you know?
492
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,079
I took her to the park in
the middle of the night,
493
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:25,840
we hopped in the sand,
and I made her look
494
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:28,179
for Devante's Bubbasnug
for two and a half hours.
495
00:18:28,180 --> 00:18:29,460
Mm.
496
00:18:30,180 --> 00:18:32,759
Huh, you know, now that
I put it all together,
497
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,760
I was being a little crazy.
498
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,509
I'm gonna call her and patch it up.
499
00:18:36,510 --> 00:18:38,469
No, no, no, no.
500
00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:40,289
You weren't being crazy.
501
00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:41,779
You were just being Junior.
502
00:18:41,780 --> 00:18:44,860
Are you going to be
somebody else just for her?
503
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:47,160
Look...
504
00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:50,539
when Gloria finally found
a man that accepted her
505
00:18:50,540 --> 00:18:52,840
for who she was, she found happiness.
506
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,639
That's what I want for you.
507
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,320
I want that for me.
508
00:18:57,330 --> 00:18:59,619
Then what you need to do
is put that phone down
509
00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,160
and get into these books, playboy.
510
00:19:05,460 --> 00:19:06,940
Knock, knock.
511
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,899
That's what it would sound like
512
00:19:08,900 --> 00:19:10,709
if I didn't take your door off.
513
00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:12,760
Well, I'm not hiding
anything in this pile.
514
00:19:12,770 --> 00:19:15,170
I'm just trying to find
a shirt to sleep in.
515
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,519
Baby girl, I'm sorry I
went a little nuts.
516
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,019
Me, too.
517
00:19:22,020 --> 00:19:24,499
Just, we thought we had more time.
518
00:19:24,500 --> 00:19:27,519
But you're... you're a young woman now,
519
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,560
and there's gonna be things in your life
520
00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:31,789
that I'm not a part of.
521
00:19:31,790 --> 00:19:33,079
Like kissing.
522
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,319
Well... it wasn't kissing, babe.
523
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:36,460
- Please focus.
- I can't get it out of my mind.
524
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:38,419
That's not what we're
here to do. All right?
525
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:40,150
- Okay.
- Okay. Sweetheart.
526
00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:45,119
We just need open communication,
527
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:47,240
and we can accept that
528
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:50,259
you're not gonna tell us everything.
529
00:19:50,260 --> 00:19:51,519
But I really want you to know
530
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,440
that you can tell us anything.
531
00:19:54,210 --> 00:19:56,700
- Okay?
- Okay.
532
00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:59,200
I hear you, and I'll do better.
533
00:19:59,210 --> 00:20:02,839
- Okay.
- And I promise I will talk to... Mom.
534
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:04,799
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
535
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:07,439
- That's definitely the better way to go.
- Works for me.
536
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,859
Mm-hmm.
537
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:11,759
You know, I think I was actually
538
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,689
mad at you for growing up.
539
00:20:14,690 --> 00:20:18,179
That's not your fault. I
can't stop time, baby girl.
540
00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:20,579
I'm sorry. I love you.
541
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:21,709
Okay?
542
00:20:21,710 --> 00:20:23,110
- Okay.
- Mm.
543
00:20:24,340 --> 00:20:26,219
And here's your phone.
544
00:20:26,220 --> 00:20:28,260
Jalen texted you four times...
545
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,919
- Oh!
- ... to see if you're okay.
546
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,540
He might be a keeper.
547
00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:35,919
Okay. And since you're old
enough to kiss a boy,
548
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,199
you are old enough
549
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,779
to put your door back on yourself.
550
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,299
I've done it before. It's fine.
551
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:42,759
Yeah, I'll get the drill for you.
552
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,239
You know how to put a door on?
553
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:45,789
- Mm-hmm.
- Where'd you learn that?
554
00:20:45,790 --> 00:20:48,090
♪ ♪
555
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,880
[LUKE SKYYWALKER'S "I
WANNA ROCK" PLAYING]
556
00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:57,999
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
557
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,640
I was wrong, Dre!
558
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:00,899
You should have danced!
559
00:21:00,900 --> 00:21:03,119
You should always dance!
560
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:08,499
CROWD CHANTING: "Dad!"
561
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,959
♪ ♪
562
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,130
Aah!
563
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:17,799
What you have to ask yourself...
564
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:18,860
[CAR KEY CLICKS]
565
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,719
... is this your dream
566
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,640
or mine?
567
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,840
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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