Original subtitles

Do not abandon us.

We need you in this moment.

Protect us from committing acts you won't forgive.

Help us remove this desire and replace it with love.

Let us die as Muslims. Amen.

In the name of Allah, most benevolent, ever-merciful,

Muhammad, the Prophet of Allah: And those who are truly with him

are severe with infidels

but compassionate among themselves.

You may see them kneeling and bowing in reverence.

Seeking acceptance from the Grace of Allah.

Seeking His favor and acceptance.

Their mark is on their foreheads from the effect of their prostrations.

God is everything to me. He is the source of my strength.

He is the center of my life.

You said, over national radio,

"I am Muslim, I'm an lmam, and I'm gay. "

Did it ever occur to you that,

"Listen, I'm going to be hurting the feelings of thousands of Muslims"?

Yes, I fully understand that,

but what we also need to understand is that the issue

of homosexuality within the Muslim community is real.

These are the lives of people all over the world.

On a daily basis, I deal with young Muslims who have a problem,

and they are struggling with reconciling their Islam

with their sexuality.

So instead of them leaving Islam, or committing suicide,

what I basically do in my work in counseling with them is to tell them

to accept Islam for the goodness that it comes with

and reconcile it with their sexuality because their sexuality,

at the end of the day,

is not something that's going to disappear.

Stick to the Islam, and let Allah be the judge of it at the end of the day.

I think Muhsin should be thrown off a mountain or burned or something.

You can't call that guy a brother, man, a Muslim brother.

They must cut off his fucking arse, man.

We should definitely bring back the death sentence for this guy.

It's unacceptable, he's bringing down the name of Islam.

My grandfather was an lmam,

my mother is a teacher in the community.

I was virtually born in a mosque.

It's only at the age of about 16

that I decided that, "There's something wrong with me.

I'm not like the other boys.

I need to find out from this God why did He make me like this?

If it's something that I can change,

then, certainly, He'll be able to help me to change it."

I was about 20 when I went to Pakistan to study Islam.

When I read the verses on Sodom and Gomorrah, there was lots of guilt

because at that time I thought,

"Okay, this is it, this is what God thinks of me.

So, why am I still adhering to Islam when there's no space for me?"

I eventually decided that maybe I should try

and get married to a woman.

So I went home, got married, I brought my wife with me to Pakistan,

and I finished another three years of studies after that.

I also had a best friend in Pakistan,

and we were just purely, platonic friends.

But at the time when he left, I could not contain myself.

I was just crying all the way in the taxi back home.

My wife said, "So, were you in love with him?"

And at that point,

I just felt that it was necessary for me to tell her the truth.

"Remember, nobody can take you for their daddy.

You my daddy, the best."

"Love is tender, love is true, love is hopeless without you."

"I love you, and I miss you a lot,

and I can't sleep by you for the holidays."

This was one holiday when their mother said,

"No, you're not going to sleep by your daddy

because he's all over the radio."

They always wanted to know whether I wanted to see them,

whether I was happy to see them.

They aren't very friendly.

They can't do anything.

Give him one, give him one. He just wants food.

This is chickpea.

Look at you!

But it's not bad.

He's evil!

I always have this attitude with my children

that I'm not going to take challenges away from them.

It's probably in their fate

that they were going to end up with a father that's gay

and deep down inside, I just felt that it's important

for me to take them through these struggles

because at the end of it, they will come out stronger.

Do you think gay people should be stoned to death?

- Yes. - No, they didn't say so.

They said they must chop off their heads and throw them off a mountain.

Do you think they should do that?

- Yes. - No.

Yes.

Why do you say yes?

Because you don't want to buy me a KFO burger.

But they don't do that here!

They do it in Egypt.

How would you feel if they should do that?

I would say, "If all of you must be stoned to death, how will you feel?"

What would you do?

Would you just stand there and cry?

And go on...

"Please don't stone me to death!"

I'm now so open and on TV, and now this movie and everything,

and what if they decide to now catch me?

Oan you picture it?

There, they come for your daddy. They put him in chains.

What will you do?

I would look them in the eye and say, "Oh, don't let my daddy feel this.

And just let him die one time with the first stone."

No, but seriously.

But will you come and help me?

Yes. Maybe.

If somebody must hurt you, then I will give up my life for you.

- But you don't want to save me. - You're talking nonsense!

I will save you, Daddy! I will save you!

I think my personal story, it's "A love Jihad."

It's a struggle, and that's what the word Jihad is all about.

A Jihad is not a holy war. It's a struggle.

And a Jihad ul-Nafs is a struggle with the self.

I just felt I needed to come out.

At that time, I was teaching at two madrassas [schools],

and they asked me to resign.

I was scared to death because I know my community.

I know the mentality of the Muslim community.

I was prepared to die.

I was in Makkah [Mecca],

and they told me that there is an lmam in Oape Town,

and he says that homosexuality is permissible, so I said, "lmpossible!"

So I said, "Fine, if he wants to discuss it, then we can discuss it."

I myself am homosexual. I know what I've been through.

I got married because I thought that was going to change me.

I fasted 80 days every year besides the month of Ramadan,

asking Allah to help me to just get rid of these things.

They haven't moved. I have started with this thing from the age of 12.

At the age of 5, I recognized that I was different from other boys.

We feel that it's not a choice that we make.

That somehow the Qur'an should be speaking about us, as well.

That we also have rights as human beings.

What do you say?

Is homosexuality permissible in Islam? Is that what you're promoting?

We will consider you a Murtad, an apostate,

and out of the fold of Islam.

You will not be buried in a Muslim graveyard.

No Muslim person would ever read your Salat ul-Janaza [funeral prayer].

We have looked at all these verses from the Qur'an,

and, obviously, we have a different interpretation

of what has happened then.

No person can make interpretations to suit his desires, or her desires,

when you have clear-cut verses:

And when Lot, peace be upon him

When he addressed his people and told them:

"Do you commit and bring that obscene and lewd action

where a male fulfills his desire with a male?"

We cannot just take the verses from the Qur'an

and use it as a blanket condemnation for homosexuality.

When foreigners and guests came into the city of Sodom and Gomorrah,

these men were rushing to molest them.

As the Qur'an says,

it was an abomination that they've been doing for a long time.

So, it was male to male rape.

So Allah doesn't refer to the homosexual relationship here,

but he's referring to a homosexual act,

which was the molestation,

taking the rights of another person away from him.

So you want we leave the direct text and accept some human being's opinion?

To play with semantics and say that this is, you know, "molestation."

I mean, you are just playing with words.

Homosexuality is a crime not only in Islam, in every divine religion,

and is punishable in Islam by death.

And we say if we're an Islamic state,

then you would face capital punishment.

The only difference among the jurists is how that person should be killed.

That's the only difference.

And I gave you the Hadith of the Prophet,

peace be upon Him, the saying: "Kill the doer and the receiver."

I am Mazen, an Egyptian gay man.

I was arrested in the case of the "Oairo 52."

It was in 2001.

I was going with a friend to a disco.

We went to the "Queen Boat."

While waiting outside, we saw some policemen.

They put us in a police van.

They took us to Abdeen police station,

to a very weird place, the vice squad headquarters.

Then they started interrogating us and saying very strange things.

They said, "You are faggots," and things like that.

Anyone who denied it was beaten.

I myself was beaten with pipes and belts

to force me to say, "I am a faggot,"

until the case went to trial.

I spent a year in prison.

I was raped in prison. It was extremely traumatic.

It hurts even to talk about it.

It is really hard to be forced to do something against your will.

Then we were put on trial a second time.

I was sentenced to 3 years.

I was able to get out of Egypt, to run away from 3 years in prison.

As we say in English, "Enough is enough."

Today I'm ready to reveal my face.

Look, the fucking asshole,

he's talking, and we don't hear anything,

we don't understand anything of what he said.

I'm sure God has a reason for all that has happened to me.

I know that He is always with me, always by my side.

I have this Qur'an, which I always kept with me in prison.

I always prayed and read it every night.

And ever since, I have kept it close to me.

God has given me patience.

He helped me overcome the calamity I was in.

I got out of Egypt and made it to France.

In Paris, I was granted refugee status.

I had no money, no job. I had no place to stay, no home.

For the last 3 years, I've been staying with friends.

Now, finally, I've found an apartment.

This is my new home.

It's a happy day.

I can't wait to tell this good news to my mother.

Hello, my love.

- Hi, Darling. How are you doing? - Good morning. How are you?

I have good news on this Prophet's Birthday celebration!

- What is it? - I got my own apartment!

Really?

They just accepted my application today.

- Swear by the Prophet? - By God's name!

It's the parents' blessing. May God be with you.

It came as a Prophet's Birthday blessing.

They just called to tell me.

Thank God.

Do you want me to send you some chocolate?

- Do you need anything? - Only your good health.

- May all your days be prosperous. - And all yours, too.

- There is no god but God. - And Muhammad is His Prophet.

It's the Eid prayer.

We've prayed, and it's good. Ramadan is over.

How much for one of these?

One euro and 30 cents? Isn't that a little expensive?

It's Algerian pastry, sir.

I'd like two of those.

It's Eid, and I got my apartment, so...

Tonight is a double celebration.

Happy Eid!

- Let's toast to Mazen's new apartment. - Oongratulations!

- A thousand congratulations! - Thanks.

There's no alcohol in them.

I hear Ramadan in Egypt is great.

Egypt is the best Arab country for feeling the spirit of Ramadan.

After breaking the fast, people pray the Taraweeh

and go out to smoke hookahs.

All the cafes are packed.

It's really lively.

They hang paper lanterns everywhere.

The best part is when the Misaharaty passes by at 3:00 a.m.

To wake people up.

Wake up, you who are sleeping! Speak of the One, Everlasting God.

Ramadan is generous.

I love it. I miss it.

I want to show you something I did in Morocco.

I was interviewed for a magazine.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

The first-ever interview with a young "sexual deviant" Moroccan writer.

I said it all.

Everything, I think.

The whole family bought it, and my mother called me on the phone.

It was huge.

How did she react?

She was less upset about my being gay

than my saying I'm against marriage.

Put this on your neck, sweetheart.

No, no I'm fine. It's good.

Oome on, darling. They're diamonds.

Yeah, right.

I'm known for dancing as a man.

Everyone has their own style.

Darling, I'm not free for you

Nor am I free for passion

I'll be free after I come to you

I have something to tell you

Darling, I'm not free for you

Nor am I free for passion

I'll be free after I come to you

I have something to tell you

Let us be apart for a while

Maybe I can forget the bad days

Let us, let us, let us

Maybe I can forget the bad days

But what you've done to me

Is too much, my love

When I face God [on Judgment Day], first I will say,

"There is no god but God, and Muhammad is His prophet."

Second, I will say, "God, I love You as much as You love Your creations."

Third, "I have loved women, and it was not a sin...

...because my loving a woman caused no harm.

I only loved.

Allah, my only God, I only loved."

In my country, they practice female genital mutilation.

Until I was 25 years old, I was completely closed up.

I could not have normal sexual relations.

This was done in the name of tradition, in the name of religion.

But it's nonsense.

God Almighty says, "We created you in the best of forms."

We have no right, if we are truly Muslims, to alter His creation.

Don't forget, the Prophet Muhammad did an enormous number of things

so that women could participate in public affairs, including politics.

For me, Muhammad was a feminist.

I don't think there is a problem between homosexuality and Islam.

If we know that God is benevolent, merciful, and great,

then God must have created us this way.

I know, but it's Haram [sinful].

That's what Islam says. I'm Muslim. I can't contradict it.

I believe in the mercy of God, but that's different.

In Shari'a law, homosexuality is forbidden.

- No, it's not. Where is it written? - It's well-known.

- Have you read the Qur'an? - Have I read the Qur'an?

You think there is lesbianism in the Qur'an?

Not lesbianism, but male homosexuality.

How can you say it's Haram? Based on what?

It's based on the Quranic text, the story of Lot.

Go and read the Qur'an again.

I'm not an expert on the Qur'an.

But I understand a few things.

I still have many doubts. I can't give you an answer right now.

I feel things in my heart.

I feel bad sometimes, that's all I know.

What is this?

It's a gift my girlfriend gave me the first time we met.

It says, "There is no god but God,"

and she has the other half, exactly the same.

It's love!

And yet you say it's Haram. It breaks my heart!

Love is something powerful. It's different.

To me, love is more important than sex.

Yes, but that's love with a woman.

Yes, with a woman.

When I was 17, I succeeded, by God's grace,

in choosing the path of religion.

But starting around the age of 24, I had no choice...

Eventually, I understood that I needed the love of a woman.

Later, I met a woman, a Muslim woman like myself,

in her country, far from here.

It's been like this for 3 years, going back and forth to Egypt,

trying to find a way to live together.

But at the same time, deep down, I'm afraid to live with her.

Ice cream! Oold drinks! Ice cream! Oold drinks! Oold water! Ice cream!

Fanta! Sprite! Oola Lite! Iced Tea! Ohocolate! Vanilla! Strawberry!

Drinks! Ice Oream! Oold drinks! Oold water! Ice cream!

Always a good price!

Welcome to Oairo.

Maybe I'll go live in a monastery.

That hurts.

- Maybe that would help me. - I won't let you do that.

We're going to live through this test together.

Why can't we be together and, at the same time, live with God?

I don't know if it's possible. I don't know.

Maybe, God willing.

Frankly, if I could be heterosexual,

I would live within a marriage, but I can't.

Same for me. At first, I went to "IslamOnline." You know it?

I've heard of that site.

It's a site of the Muslim Brotherhood.

For years, I sent them e-mails, asking,

"What should I do? I'm afraid of God, and I can't stay like this."

Lmmediately, their solution was, "You have to get married."

My whole family, and everyone else, wanted me to get married.

The family pressure was overwhelming,

and I was very weak at that time.

I tried. I tried, at first.

I asked God to make me normal, to make me like everyone else,

to get rid of this, or die.

It was very hard on both of us.

I was exhausted. It was a nightmare.

It was a miracle I got a divorce.

Maybe because I'm a lesbian,

I never wanted to look seductive to men.

Even before I started wearing the veil,

I dressed and behaved modestly.

People think that a woman who wears the hijab is closed-minded, extremist.

But I feel really free.

I think all Muslims dream of going on the Hajj pilgrimage some day.

It's hard when you're a single woman

because you have to be accompanied by your husband, brother, or father.

Spiritually, I think it would help us enormously

and also to help us stop having intimate relations.

Maybe it would help us...

"Fiqh al-Sunnah"?

It's a reference book for all Muslims.

I looked in this book 3 years ago.

I thought I would try to find a solution for myself.

I found only a few lines about "us."

There it is... al-Suhaq [lesbianism].

"Lesbianism is forbidden...

...according to all scholars."

Here, they give a definition of lesbianism:

"Lovemaking between two women...

...without penetration."

The only punishment is scolding the women.

When there's no penetration, there is no severe punishment.

I want to be punished.

There is no punishment, you see? There isn't any.

So why do I suffer inside and feel guilty?

You'll feel better if you're punished?

You know, the punishment of fornicators

who are lashed, I don't know how many times.

Don't be so hard on yourself, Maryam.

Maybe that would relieve me. I don't know.

Ashura has a very special feeling, a feeling of love.

I'm willing to protect his [lmam Hossein's] honor.

With faith, I'm willing to sacrifice my life

for lmam Hossein, the greatest of all the martyrs.

I was 4 when my father died in the Iran-lraq war

from a mustard gas attack.

In August 2004, a friend invited me to a gay party.

We were raided, and they put us in jail.

The police said, "You're the son of a martyr, and you do these things?"

To them, I had disgraced my father's name.

The judge said,

"The physician will find out whether or not you are gay."

He told us we could be stoned to death.

I was terrified.

I received 100 lashes in an hour.

My mother was notified that I was lashed.

When I took off my shirt, she cried.

Because of her, I left.

I didn't want her to suffer and see my pain anymore.

She held the Qur'an over my head for protection before I left.

I think I will remember that until my very last breath.

But there is someone that is with me every step, helping me,

and that's my God.

I remember on the way from Shiraz to Tehran,

I recited the Ayat ul-Kursi for my mother's protection.

God: There is no god but He, the living, eternal, ever-sustaining

Neither slumber nor sleep affect Him

To Him belongs all that is in the heavens and the earth:

Oh Iran, our precious land

Your soil is the source of art

May thoughts of disaster be far from you

Oh, Iran, be immortal and steadfast

It's very hard to describe the situation for homosexuals in Iran.

It's like a person who wants to speak,

but when he opens his mouth, the words are caught in the throat.

His cry has been suppressed. It's a heavy silence.

From our city of Shiraz, we traveled to Tehran.

Then from Tehran to Tabriz by bus, and from Tabriz to Turkey by train.

We stopped in Ankara first,

where we applied for asylum to the UN High Oommissioner for Refugees.

For now, we are stuck here in Turkey.

Hey, what time is it?

Good morning, Auntie.

Where have you been?

I bought aash, halim, and fresh sangak bread. It's all ready.

Even though we left Iran, we still don't feel safe.

Arsham and I wish Amir and Mojtaba weren't afraid to show their faces.

Fear has followed us from Iran to Turkey.

They're afraid for their families' safety.

I don't want to show my face

because my mother and my family still live in Iran.

I'm really afraid that it will bring them trouble.

My life is Iran. I miss everything.

I left to save my life.

Turkey doesn't grant resident status to Iranian refugees.

We're only allowed to stay until the UNHOR decides our cases.

If we win our cases, we have to leave Turkey.

If we lose, we're sent back to Iran.

- Tell our fortunes. - Everyone, make a wish.

What's your wish?

My wish is to be accepted.

You wish for UN approval.

A wish for today.

I wish that no gay person in the world would be executed.

Too general. It's impossible.

Well, the readings usually turn out wrong.

Okay, will the UNHOR call us today?

We'll do a reading about the UNHOR.

When I used to go to the shrines of Hafiz, Sa'adi, or others,

I would think a lot about those great poets of Iran.

Even then, they talked so much

about love and passion, lovers and men.

Everywhere you look among the richness of Persian literature,

the lover and the beloved are both men,

yet you see that now it is such a crime.

In 2005, Mojtaba held a wedding ceremony in Shiraz

with a man named Mehrdad.

Mehrdad and I were boyfriends for 6 years.

The only person I truly fell in love with.

He was my first introduction to love.

What was your wedding like?

At first, we planned a casual party,

then Mehrdad suggested that we buy wedding rings.

What do you think Mehrdad is doing now?

He's doing okay. Don't worry.

What was on the table?

Everything: the mirror, the candles, the Qur'an, nuts, sweets.

It was perfect.

They even had those sweet noghl, the kind you have at "real" weddings.

They brought a special knife

and asked us to cut the cake for each other.

That was it. Before we knew it, the wedding was over.

How wonderful!

I just don't get it. Why don't people understand this?

Why do they think the sky has to be the same color for everyone?

Anyway, they filmed the ceremony.

People began seeing the video, and I think that's how word spread

that such a ceremony had taken place in Shiraz.

Now that they have me on film, they have all the proof they need.

Unfortunately, the police seized the wedding video,

so Mojtaba doesn't have any way to prove to the UN

what happened to him.

Do you have the video of my wedding?

Who has it?

If you find it, can you send it to me?

I have to call my mother now.

I haven't called home in a really long time.

I'm still in Turkey.

I haven't left for Oanada yet.

Are you crying?

I didn't call so you would cry.

I wanted to give you the latest news.

They said...

They said we'll be leaving here in a month.

Wherever I am, you are always with me.

In Turkey or Iran, no matter where I am, I love you.

God be with you. Give me a kiss.

Don't cry! Don't cry!

She said she was cutting onions, but I could tell she was crying.

Oome on, don't be sad.

Orying isn't bad. It's good for you.

This will make a man out of you.

Who says he has to be a man?

Oome on, give me a kiss.

See, he's just like a mother.

I'll be your mother.

If only you could.

I'm a lot of people's mother.

But not mine.

Well, you didn't fill out the right forms.

Waiting is very hard.

For me to tolerate this hardship, I talk to God.

At this point we're waiting for any help we can get,

but I think we'll have to wait forever.

- Read it faster. You're too slow. - Well, I'm reading carefully.

There is someone who really loves you.

It's a man.

Oh, Sweetheart!

Well, I see you lying down with both your legs in the air.

I'm serious! Look here!

See, here's one leg, and there's the other.

That's the head...

Let me see it!

I see an airplane. You are going to fly.

Let me see.

No, it's a car in the air, not a plane.

He's right!

Islam and homosexuality do not merge very well.

Islam has a big problem acknowledging homosexuality.

It will take a Jihad

and probably longer than my own lifetime.

God says, "I created you from My love and My own image."

Whatever I am, God is.

Whatever I feel, God wants me to feel.

Anything that's humane and doesn't harm others

and doesn't attack anyone's rights or honor cannot be a sin.

Why don't we get any treats?

There are other treats for you!

What kind of treats?

My atheist friends always ask me,

"How can you be a lesbian and have such religious faith?"

For me, each has its own place.

If God has planted this love in my heart, then it is legitimate.

No. No.

This is too much, outside the mosque!

But you can kiss me.

Okay, I give in. Let's fly like butterflies!

Sister, can the men go upstairs this way?

No, you can't.

If you all move aside, the men can go upstairs.

Let them pass, let them pass.

We'll go upstairs, if you'll excuse us.

Oome on, brothers.

Dear respectable Muslims:

Our great religion Islam gave us important moral principles.

One of these principles is the love of human beings.

Love itself is the foundation of human relationships

and a critical part of improving and strengthening society.

In the words of Mevlana Rumi:

"Love transforms bitter to sweet, copper to gold, sickness to health.

A dungeon to a palace, troubles to blessings,

and suffering to God's mercy."

I was forced to get married at an early age.

I had just turned 16.

I was married for 6 weeks when we went to see a doctor,

and the doctor told my mother this was absurd.

He said, "This girl's organs are not developed enough to give birth.

If she gets pregnant, there will be problems."

But nobody listened, and I got pregnant.

It was very hard. Pain, pain, constant pain.

Women like us are captives in another life. We are prisoners.

For example, there are girls in the Southeast and in remote areas

who are lesbians but cannot lead lesbian lives.

At least, I'm not in the same situation as they are.

I thank God for that.

Now that we're on our way, I'm starting...

To feel nervous? I don't believe it.

Sometimes I hide my feelings, but now I'm really nervous.

My mother will comfort you.

God willing. I wonder how she'll greet me, what she'll think of me.

- Do I look very pink? - No, it's very nice.

Sugar pink.

Mother, meet Kiymet.

Welcome!

The war of the eyeglasses.

People say Ferda and I look alike, but I can't see any similarity.

I wasn't like her in my youth. When I was Ferda's age, I was stylish.

And now, look at you!

You were so naughty. Do you think you were well-behaved?

- I don't think I was naughty. - Were you some nice house girl?

No, never in my life have I been a nice house girl.

You were a street kitty!

She calls me a street kitty!

- She is putting on a show. - What's her name?

- Lora. - Lora.

Lora, do you want to come out?

Girl, Sweetie.

- Is it a "she"? - Yes, but...

...she hasn't laid any eggs in 19 years.

Why?

She's very picky. She doesn't like any other birds.

Hey, girl, shall I bring you another girl?

What?

Maybe she wants a girl!

She says maybe the parrot wants a girl.

Maybe you should give it a try.

Maybe she's a homosexual?

Oould very well be.

Now it's the fashion.

Bye-bye.

Perfect!

- Is that what you think? - Yes.

That's what I think. Perfect.

Thank you.

Islam is a religion of peace,

but we can only understand this by understanding Sufism,

not by how some people interpret Islam.

- So you want two of these? - Yes, two.

The hand above is the one that receives.

The hand below is the one that gives.

For me, it represents the circle, coming from the Oreator,

going back to the earth and returning to the Oreator again.

Books and history tell us that Madho Lal was born a Hindu,

but we mystics are indifferent to that.

Madho becoming a Muslim was ordained by God,

and so was his eternal love for Shah Husain.

They became lovers.

They gave each other so much love that today,

when the world pays its respects to Shah Husain,

they also pay respects to Madho Lal.

God has requested this noise and festivity

so we have ordered the drummers to beat their drums

until we hear the sounds of "Allah-hu."

No one explains clearly, so "this" never leaves the heart.

I have faith in God and also love "this thing."

I want to live my life carrying both.

I want to find out if both are permitted or not.

I have come here to find out about my loving men.

I want to know if Islam has room for "this."

Ever since I heard that Islam forbids homosexuality,

I've felt a barrier between the two of them.

But I really like both homosexuality and Islam.

No, this is absolutely unnatural.

Nature and God have made men and women for each other.

Men are not for men and women are not for women.

I've been attracted to boys from the beginning.

What should I do?

Please read all the teachings of Islam.

Read the Qur'an and pray for God's blessings.

This unnatural tendency you were born with will go away if God wishes.

No matter how big the crime,

if you seek forgiveness at God's doorstep,

you don't need forgiveness from mortals at all.

- Lf I pray, then will God forgive me? - Absolutely.

If the One above forgives you, then the world has no right to judge you.

Punishment is given only when there is no hope of resolving the issue.

And what if I stop doing "this,"

but I continue to like boys and not girls?

Then this is some kind of psychological problem.

You should talk to a psychologist

because this problem you are talking about shows that you have a disease.

God willing, he will be able to cure your problem.

So may I come to you whenever I want?

Yes, absolutely. You can come whenever you have a problem.

Sometimes I feel that I'm wrong,

and sometimes I feel God created me this way.

God is the all-knowing.

He created me in the Muslim "caste." I can't choose to be another way.

Once, when I was sitting near the big mosque, a Maulana came by.

I asked him why homosexuality is forbidden.

He just said, "It's forbidden, and the earth will split open."

He didn't explain it well.

Then he asked me to go with him.

I said, "You just told me it's forbidden."

He said, "Never mind that. Oome with me."

Then he kissed me on the cheek.

I can't clap right. How do you do it?

You go like this, and then hit them like this.

Some people call it geela, gandu, or chakka.

Using those names insults people that society already demeans.

I call myself koti with pride.

Swinging our hips, talking to other kotis and going off with boys,

we do these things secretly.

Humans make mistakes all the time.

The only mistake God could make

would be to give a man the heart of a woman.

I used to wear a skirt, blouse, long hair, earrings, everything.

After I performed the Hajj,

I realized I could no longer disgrace my religion.

From that day on,

I stopped acting like a woman or wearing women's clothes

or sleeping with men.

- So, are you ready to get married? - Yes, absolutely.

If I want to live in this society, I have to marry.

That's why I do "these things" in secret.

I am illiterate and ignorant.

If I had been able to study,

then I would be here with these students.

This is the Nadhwa school where the religion of Islam is taught.

In this place, I feel very strange about my "crimes."

No one should ever think that God is not there for them.

He's there for gays, kotis, prostitutes, everyone.

I am getting a shave today because we kotis are having a party.

Oh, God, what kind of mother-in-law is this? She's pulling my hair!

I look better when I'm "plain."

She's looking scary!

Hey, Qasim. Get out.

All the men should wait outside.

Go on, get out now.

I'm staying in here with my sisters.

Get out!

Why should I be embarrassed?

You cannot keep your love hidden

In all four directions are spies

Since there are no secrets from God

Since there are no secrets from God, why keep secrets from mortals?

You only loved, so why be afraid? If you love, then why be afraid?

- Did you get your ticket? - Yeah.

The day after tomorrow you won't be here anymore.

- I'll be on the plane. - No, you'll be where you wanted to be.

So how does it feel to be leaving?

Sometimes I'm happy.

Sometimes sad.

Sometimes I don't know what to feel.

I'm happy. Happy that the waiting is over.

Were the three years hard or easy?

Hard.

I'm happy you'll be coming soon, Amir,

but I'm worried that Mojtaba still hasn't heard from the UN.

Hopefully, he will be accepted.

I will miss you, my dear.

No, you won't. I know it.

You were always mad at me.

What is it?

Look, now we're crying!

Oome on, don't cry so much.

Kiss it.

You should start from the other side.

It's okay.

Pray that these suitcases make it to Toronto.

In my faith, they say that if someone calls out "Ya Allah!" 10 times,

God will answer, "What is it, my child?"

Seven or eight hours until freedom.

Do you think they have this in pink?

- You want it in pink? - Pink is the color for gays.

Today is my new birthday.

No one is here. What should we do now?

At the embassy they asked what I would do when I arrived.

I said, "I want to breathe." So now I can breathe.

I used to think I would never see this day.

I used to think, "How can I be free when so many others can't?"

One day they will also be free.

I am so excited.

I can't wait to get there. I am bubbling.

Because it's the first time I'm going to speak to the Muslim community.

The very same community that asked me to leave

has now asked me to come back

and talk to them about homosexuality, because it's a dilemma.

They don't know how to deal with it.

Okay. I wish there was a verse in the Qur'an that said,

"Please do not discriminate against homosexuality."

But, unfortunately, it's not an easy subject as that.

And therefore, I requested a very open mind.

The Qur'an doesn't speak about Sodom and Gomorrah.

It speaks about the cities of the plain.

They were selfish, they used to do robbery, they used to rape,

and send off the men naked, and they used to set up unjust courts.

And as you can clearly see now,

it is not because of homosexual acts that Allah has destroyed them,

but they were clearly a corrupt nation.

The only way two males can have a sexual relationship

is to have anal sex,

which is forbidden as far as the Qur'an is concerned.

Not completely. One doesn't have to have anal sex to have sex.

In terms of showing love with one another.

But how far? That is what Allah is trying to help us with in the Qur'an.

How far do we go?

You know we are not dependent on the lmams and the clergy.

Each Muslim, man and woman, they have been commanded

to go and learn for themselves.

They've been commanded to challenge the status quo.

Islam commands us to learn from the cradle to the grave.

We have so many clergy, I always say,

you kick at every bush and you find a sheikh dropping out.

To say that you can be gay or lesbian

and still be a good Muslim and still be Allah-conscious,

and this is what I like that's happened here today.

We cannot find answers within orthodox Islamic thinking.

We have to use one of the principles of Islam

that has been lost over the years.

Ljtihad, meaning, "independent reasoning."

To find a space for us within Islam.

Here I am at Your service, Allah

Here I am

Here I am at Your service

And You have no equals

I guess what was never taught to us when we were growing up

is that Allah is also the Allah of love.

We always had to Taqwa Allah, you have to fear God.

We never were taught about the love of God.

Allah says in the Qur'an, "Do not despair of the mercy of God...

...because God, to you, is most merciful."