Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY, ON BELOW DECK...

- DON'T LIE TO ME.

I KNOW THAT YOU WERE DRINKING.

I'M GIVING YOU THE OPTION TO GO TO LEE YOURSELF AND TELL HIM.

THIS SITUATION WITH KAT

PROBABLY TOUCHES CLOSER TO HOME BECAUSE

HER AND I LIVE IN THE SAME ROOM,

AND SO THE TENSION IS JUST PALPABLE.

- WELL, I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU

- WELL, I JUST WANTED TO ASK YOU IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER SWITCHING ROOMS WITH ME.

IF YOU WOULD CONSIDER SWITCHING ROOMS WITH ME.

- I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN A CAPTAIN BEFORE.

I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO SET THAT ASIDE,

BECAUSE THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE CAPTAIN ON A BOAT.

I'M IT.

- CHECK THE--THE WORK ONE MORE TIME?

- KNOWING THAT SAM ISN'T RELIABLE, I NEED KAT RIGHT NOW.

KAT, COME WITH ME.

THERE'S SOMETHING ON THAT MIRROR.

- SHE'S HAVING ME DO EVERYTHING,

- SHE'S HAVING ME DO EVERYTHING, AND I'M TIRED.

AND I'M TIRED.

HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO CARRY THIS FOR?

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT DOESN'T REALLY CONCERN YOU.

WELL, THEN TALK TO HER! "THE FINER POINTS."

YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY ROOM?

SPEND A NIGHT IN IT!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- SO HOW LATE DID YOU GUYS STAY UP LAST NIGHT?

- UM, KIND OF LATE. - REALLY?

- MAYBE, LIKE, 2:00 OR SO.

- MAYBE, LIKE, 2:00 OR SO. - ARE YOU GUYS READY TO GO?

- ARE YOU GUYS READY TO GO?

- UH, WAITING FOR BEN. HE'S NOT UP YET.

I MEAN, I JUST WENT DOWN AND WOKE HIM UP,

BUT HE'S NOT UP HERE YET.

I'M ALREADY STRESSED OUT BECAUSE

THE CHARTER GUESTS ARE ARRIVING THIS AFTERNOON.

WE HAVE TO GET EVERYTHING READY.

WE'RE ALREADY RUNNING BEHIND.

- WHEN YOU GUYS COME BACK

- WHEN YOU GUYS COME BACK FROM SHOPPING, WE'RE NOT GONNA BE HERE.

FROM SHOPPING, WE'RE NOT GONNA BE HERE.

WE'RE GONNA BE OVER AT MARIGOT.

- WE STILL DON'T HAVE THE PROVISIONS ON BOARD,

AND I AM NOT HAPPY.

- IT'S ROTTEN.

IT'S ROTTEN, ISN'T IT?

- OKAY, LET'S GO TO LIQUOR,

'CAUSE YOU NEED TO GET COOKING WINE.

- AND COOKING WHISKEY AND COOKING TEQUILA

AND COOKING RUM. [laughter]

- SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ROOM CHANGE IDEA?

- KAT WANTS TO DO THIS CABIN SWAP.

I'M HAPPY WITH ALEKS RIGHT NOW,

AND I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS.

I'LL DO IT. I'LL DO IT.

I'LL DO IT. I DON'T MIND.

IF IT MEANS THAT MUCH TO KAT, I'M WILLING TO DO IT.

WE'RE GONNA GET A BETTER PRODUCT IF KAT HAS HER WAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL JUST APPEASE THE OLD GIRL AND CHANGE ROOMS.

LET'S JUST MAKE THIS A CLEAN TRANSITION, ALL RIGHT?

- YEAH.

- 'CAUSE I DON'T NEED MORE DRAMA CHANGING ROOMS.

THERE'S ALREADY ENOUGH DRAMA, YOU KNOW, TO BEGIN WITH.

- I AGREE, YOU'RE RIGHT. OKAY.

- ADRIENNE AND I HAVE ACTUALLY COME A LONG WAY.

IN THE BEGINNING, I FOUND HER ULTRA-AGGRESSIVE,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

ON A YACHT, YOU CANNOT HOLD GRUDGES, ALL RIGHT?

IF YOU'RE GONNA HOLD GRUDGES, YOU MAY AS WELL LEAVE.

- UM, QUESTION-- WHO DO YOU WANT ON ANCHOR WATCH?

[phone ringing] - I DON'T KNOW YET.

MARINA, HONOR.

- [indistinct voice on phone] - YES.

- [indistinct voice on phone] - DID I JUST HEAR RIGHT ON THAT?

DID I JUST HEAR THAT?

- AND THAT'S DEFINITE?

THANKS FOR THE CALL.

- DID I JUST HEAR RIGHT ON THAT?

- DID YOU HEAR WHAT I HEARD?

- I HEARD THE CHARTER'S CANCELLED.

- YEP. - [laughs]

- NO MONEY. - NO MONEY?

- NO MONEY. - NO MONEY? - WELL, NOT ENOUGH MONEY. INSUFFICIENT FUNDS.

- WELL, NOT ENOUGH MONEY. INSUFFICIENT FUNDS.

- OKAY. THIS IS--THIS IS A BUMMER.

IT'S A REALLY BIG BUMMER,

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GONNA BE GETTING TIP MONEY.

WOW. - ALEKS, ALEKS, LEE.

- GO AHEAD, LEE.

- THE CHARTER HAS BEEN CANCELLED.

- WHAT?

- YOU'VE GOT TO BE [bleep] KIDDING ME.

- THE CHARTER HAS BEEN CANCELLED.

both: WHAT?

- WAIT, THE CHARTER'S OFF?

- CAPTAIN'S STANDING BY. CAPTAIN'S STANDING BY.

- LET'S DRINK! - WE'RE JUST WAITING.

[laughter] WE'RE STANDING BY.

THAT'S OUR DEAL. both: LET'S DRINK!

- HEY, GUYS? GUYS, GUYS! WE'RE STANDING BY.

- SO WE HAVE THREE DAYS OFF.

- SO WE HAVE THREE DAYS OFF. NO LATE NIGHT [bleep] GUESTS,

NO LATE NIGHT [bleep] GUESTS,

NO ADRIENNE CHASING US AROUND WITH A LIST, UM...

JUST NO BULL[bleep].

- CALM IT DOWN DOWNSTAIRS, PLEASE.

I CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY UP ON THE BRIDGE DECK.

AS YOU ARE PROBABLY ALREADY AWARE,

THE CHARTER HAS BEEN CANCELLED.

- [screams] - SHH!

- I REPEAT, THE CHARTER HAS BEEN CANCELLED.

TRY TO ACT LIKE YOU'VE HEARD THIS BEFORE OR SOMETHING.

- THIS IS AWESOME! I'M SO EXCITED.

I'M GOING SCUBA DIVING TOMORROW,

I'M GOING SCUBA DIVING TOMORROW, I'M GETTING WASTED THE NEXT DAY,

I'M GETTING WASTED THE NEXT DAY,

AND THE DAY AFTER THAT, I'M GOING SHOPPING.

I NEED A VACATION.

EVERYONE NEEDS A VACATION.

LET'S MAKE PLANS.

- THESE GO IN THE GALLEY.

- ALL RIGHT! LET'S GET THIS STUFF UNLOADED.

HEY, THE CHOCOLATE.

- TAKE THIS.

[overlapping chatter]

- ALEKS, LEE.

CAN I GET YOU IN THE WHEELHOUSE, PLEASE?

- [humming]

- HERE'S WHAT I WANT TO DO THIS AFTERNOON.

WE'RE GONNA MOVE. I THINK WE'LL MOVE OVER

TO GRAND CASE, TRY AND SUCK IN CLOSE,

BUT ON THE WAY OVER THERE

I WANT TO DO A FIRE DRILL UNDERWAY.

AND YOU WON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME TO TELL YOU.

I DON'T WANT THE CREW TO KNOW ANYTHING.

- SOUNDS GOOD.

I'M NOT NERVOUS AT ALL

IN MY CREW OR IN MY DRILL SKILLS.

I KNOW HOW TO PUT OUT A FIRE. IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.

IT'S ABOUT TRAINING YOUR CREW ON THE PROPER

PROCEDURES TO GET HER DONE RIGHT.

- ANY QUESTIONS? - NEGATIVE.

- I THINK WITH ALEKS,

WE NEED TO FIND OUT EXACTLY HOW MUCH KNOWLEDGE HE'S ABSORBING,

BECAUSE IF HE THINKS I'M JUST GONNA HAND HIM THE CONTROL

OF A $20 MILLION YACHT, HE'S MISTAKEN.

- DID HE SAY THAT?

- YEP. HE'S REALLY FINE WITH IT.

SO JUST GO AHEAD AND DO IT.

- WOW, GUESS WE'RE IN COED ROOMS NOW.

SHOULD MAKE FOR A LOT OF SEXY ACTION.

- WELL, HE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT. WHAT, DID HE TELL YOU THAT?

- YEAH. WE TALKED ABOUT IT TODAY.

HE'S TOTALLY FINE WITH IT.

YOU GUYS CAN SWITCH, THEN IT'LL BE HAPPY HAPPY LAND AGAIN.

- HOW DID SHE FIND OUT ABOUT IT

AND TELL ME THAT I'M SWITCHING ROOMS,

AND BEN DIDN'T TALK WITH ME ABOUT IT?

AND BEN DIDN'T TALK WITH ME ABOUT IT? I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST TO KNOW.

I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST TO KNOW.

WHY IS ADRIENNE CONFRONTING ME?

I'M NOT SWITCHING ROOMS. [laughter]

- I THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD.

- I THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD. - WELL, IT WAS ORIGINALLY YOUR IDEA.

- WELL, IT WAS ORIGINALLY YOUR IDEA.

- SO SHE CONVINCED BEN TO DO IT...SOMEHOW.

MAYBE SHE GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB.

[laughter]

- WE'RE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE ON THE BOAT.

- WHY ARE YOU GUYS THE LUCKIEST?

'CAUSE YOU GET ALONG SO WELL? - YEAH.

- 'CAUSE WE GET ALONG SO WELL, AND--AMONG OTHER THINGS.

- READY BELOW DECK?

- READY WHEN YOU ARE, CAPTAIN.

- LET'S GO.

- DO YOU LIKE IT UP THERE?

- IT'S A BETTER VIEW, AND THE TV IS BETTER.

YOU GOT A BETTER VIEW OF THE TV.

I'M PRETTY HAPPY.

- I LIKE IT THAT YOU GUYS GO BEHIND MY BACK

AND TRY AND FINAGLE SOMETHING.

- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- WHY WOULDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME THAT YOU'D SWITCH ROOMS WITH ME?

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO TO ADRIENNE AND--

DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE SHE WAS GONNA GIVE YOU A BLOWJOB

EVERY NIGHT OR SOMETHING BEFORE YOU SAID "YES"?

- THAT WASN'T PART OF THE DEAL, ACTUALLY.

- THEN WHAT IS PART OF THE DEAL? - [laughs]

UNBELIEVABLE.

THIS IS JUST CRAZY, YOU KNOW?

SHE'S NOW UPSET BECAUSE ADRIENNE AND I

KIND OF SORTED IT OUT BETWEEN OURSELVES.

KAT'S A WRECK.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED TO SWITCH ROOMS,

AND NOW YOU'RE PISSED OFF THAT YOU'RE SWITCHING ROOMS.

- I'M PISSED OFF THAT YOU WENT AHEAD AND,

INSTEAD OF TELLING ME YOU'D SWITCH ROOMS, YOU TOLD HER!

- BUT YOU WANTED TO SWITCH ROOMS...

- YEAH, BUT... - SO WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

- WHY DID YOU TELL HER?

- BECAUSE IT WAS A CONVERSATION

THAT I NEEDED TO HAVE WITH ADRIENNE.

- OH, IT WAS? - YES.

- WHY DID YOU NEED TO HAVE IT WITH HER?

- WHY DO YOU THINK? - I DON'T KNOW.

UP UNTIL NOW, I'VE BEEN RELATIVELY ATTRACTED TO BEN,

AND NOW THAT HE WANTS TO MOVE IN WITH MY ENEMY,

I'M NOT HAPPY.

I JUST CAN'T STAND THE [bleep] DRAMA.

LIKE, CAN I SWITCH OR NOT? IT'S A "YES" OR "NO."

LIKE, CAN I SWITCH OR NOT? IT'S A "YES" OR "NO." - BUT YOU CREATED THE DRAMA. - AND THEN YOU HAD--

- BUT YOU CREATED THE DRAMA. - AND THEN YOU HAD--

- AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE DRAMA IS NOT OVER.

I'M JUST GONNA LEVEL WITH EVERYONE RIGHT NOW.

I DO THINK KAT IS INSANE.

- NOW THE DRAMA IS REALLY GOING TO GET STARTED.

- YEAH, WELL, I FEEL LIKE I'M 12 YEARS OLD.

- WHAT IS GOING ON OVER THERE?

- DOES EVERYONE HAVE THEIR RADIOS ON?

[fire alarm blares]

- SAM! - ALL RIGHT, IT'S NOT WORKING.

- ARE WE MUSTERING? - I GUESS WE ARE.

- WHAT'S THAT?

- GO AND GET YOUR STATIONS.

- CJ GETS ON THE RADIO SAYING,

"THERE'S A FIRE IN THE ENGINE ROOM!"

I'M LIKE, "OH, NO!" BECAUSE NOW EVERYONE'S CONFUSED.

[radio feedback] ALL CREW, ALL CREW, ALL CREW.

I KNOW WHERE THE FIRE IS,

AND I KNOW, AT THE END OF THE DAY,

I'M THE ONE THAT'S GONNA GET CREAMED FOR IT.

- ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP, ALL CREW.

THE FIRE ALARM IS NOT IN THE ENGINE ROOM.

IT IS NUMBER FOUR AREA, CREW GALLEY.

[alarm beep stops]

[alarm beep stops] - I BELIEVE THE TOASTER CAUGHT ON FIRE IN THE CREW MESS.

- I BELIEVE THE TOASTER CAUGHT ON FIRE IN THE CREW MESS.

- GUYS, I NEED SOMEONE HERE TO HELP ME GET DRESSED.

I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF. - THAT'S WHY WE'RE HELPING YOU.

- THERE'S A FIRE! AAH!

- NOBODY ACTUALLY REALLY KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON.

- SOMEONE TURN MY VALVE ON. - PUT THE MASK ON.

- IT'S UPSIDE DOWN. - YOU'VE GOTTA PUT--

- THAT'S NOT CO2.

THAT'S DRY POWDER. - CAN YOU READ?

- I WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BRING THE CLOSEST ONE.

IF IT WAS A TOASTER FIRE, JUST [bleep]

THROW THE TOASTER OVERBOARD.

IT'S A SERIOUS... - SUPER SERIOUS!

- VERY SERIOUS MATTER, DARLING.

- THANK YOU. - [laughs]

- THE FIRE IS NOT GOING OUT WITH CO2.

THE EXTINGUISHER IS OUT.

THE FIRE TEAM IS HOSING DOWN THE FIRE.

NASH, NOW START EMERGENCY BILGE PUMP, PLEASE.

- [laughs]

- [laughs] - SINCE WHEN DO YOU USE A FIRE HOSE

- SINCE WHEN DO YOU USE A FIRE HOSE

TO BATTLE AN ELECTRICAL FIRE?

YOU JUST KILLED EVERYBODY ON THE HOSE.

- THAT WAS GOOD. I WISH I HAD TIMED YOU GUYS.

THAT WAS GOOD.

- THAT'S TWO! - HEY!

LISTEN TO THE STORY.

[overlapping shouting]

- IF YOU'RE OUT THERE SCREAMING,

- IF YOU'RE OUT THERE SCREAMING, CURSING--I CAN'T GO OUT WITH THEM.

CURSING--I CAN'T GO OUT WITH THEM.

- LET'S GET EVERYBODY UP HERE FOR A REHASH OF THIS.

- [clears throat] - OKAY.

THE ALARM SOUNDED AT 1:50,

AND SOMEBODY GAVE SOMEBODY SOME BAD INFORMATION.

- I JUST-- I STUMBLED THE WORDS.

- I JUST-- I STUMBLED THE WORDS. I MEANT TO SAY, "I'M IN THE ENGINE ROOM,

I MEANT TO SAY, "I'M IN THE ENGINE ROOM,

AND I SEE A FIRE ALARM." INSTEAD, THE WORDS CAME OUT--

- "FIRE IN THE ENGINE ROOM." - YEAH, SORRY.

THAT WAS COMPLETELY MY FAULT.

- AND THEN IT WAS YOUR JOB TO ASCERTAIN

WHETHER WE HAD A FIRE OR NOT.

- I SAID THAT A TOASTER CAUGHT ON FIRE.

- AH, YOU SAID THE TOASTER WAS CAUGHT ON FIRE AT 1:57,

SEVEN MINUTES AFTER IT STARTED,

WHICH IS FIVE MINUTES LONGER THAN IS ACCEPTABLE.

1:59, YOU SAID THE FIRE WAS OUT.

THAT'S A FULL NINE MINUTES.

YOU USED WATER TO PUT OUT AN ELECTRICAL FIRE,

SO THEORETICALLY, WE COULD HAVE HAD TWO CASUALTIES

IF THIS HAD BEEN AN ACTUAL ELECTRICAL FIRE.

I NEVER LEAVE THE BRIDGE, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

YOU ARE THE HEAD MOTHER[bleep] IN CHARGE.

THE WHOLE SITUATION IS A SUCCESS OR A FAILURE

BASED ON WHAT YOU DO.

SO, FRED, I NEED YOU HERE, NASH, AND ALEKS.

THE REST OF YOU, CARRY ON.

[low chatter]

- STUDY THESE, GUYS.

TRY TO MEMORIZE 'EM A LITTLE BETTER FOR THE NEXT ONE.

- I KNOW I SCREWED UP, YOU KNOW?

I GOT A REAMING, AN EARFUL FROM HIM.

THAT'S NOT A WAY TO TREAT PEOPLE AT ALL.

- YOU NEED TO STUDY YOUR STUFF.

THE MISTAKES THAT YOU'RE MAKING COULD BE FATAL TO SOMEBODY.

I GOT TO HAVE A FIRST OFFICER I CAN COUNT ON.

AND RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE NOT IT.

WE'LL GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT.

WE'RE GONNA DO ANOTHER DRILL TOMORROW,

AND IF SOMEBODY LEAKS IT TO THE CREW, BY GOD,

I SWEAR I'LL HAVE SOMEBODY'S ASS.

I WANT THEM TOTALLY SURPRISED BY IT,

AND YOU'RE GONNA RUN IT AGAIN.

- WELL, THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THIS ONE,

AND WE LOST TWO PEOPLE.

- I KNOW I'M 80 YEARS YOUNGER THAN LEE, BUT I'M NOT A KID.

I DIDN'T GET THIS LICENSE OUT OF A CRACKER JACK BOX,

AND GETTING CRITICIZED DAY AND NIGHT,

IT'S NOT THE WAY YOU TRAIN A CREW AND,

SUPPOSEDLY, YOUR RELIEF CAPTAIN

THAT YOU'RE GONNA HAND THE BOAT OFF TO.

- I THINK YOU SHOULD COME DOWN HERE.

- NO.

I THINK YOU SHOULD COME UP HERE. - BUT MY BUNK'S MORE COMFY.

- BUT MINE IS MORE MINE.

- BUT MINE IS MORE MINE. - I'M ACTUALLY GONNA MAKE A LIST

- I'M ACTUALLY GONNA MAKE A LIST

OF HOW I WANT TO PUT THAT STUFF ON.

- OKAY, ADRIENNE, YOU MAKE A LIST.

- HEY, AT LEAST I WILL [bleep] CROSS THE LIST OFF MYSELF,

INSTEAD OF ASK YOU TO DO IT. - NO MORE LIST.

- WAIT, I WANT TO COME AND PLAY. - COME PLAY!

- ARE YOU GONNA STAY DOWN THERE, AND I CAN GET UP TOP?

- WHOA--OH, MY GOD! WAIT, I'M GONNA FALL SO HARD.

- I HAVE YOU, I HAVE YOU. [laughter]

- SHOULD I BRING PILLOWS?

OKAY. - [laughs]

- NOW, WE'VE GOT ACTION.

- IF ALL OF MY STUDY PARTNERS WERE THIS HOT,

I WOULD HAVE NEVER GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.

- OKAY, SO IT'S MY JOB, ONCE I FIND OUT

WHAT KIND OF FIRE IT IS, TO GRAB

TWO FIRE EXTINGUISHERS FROM WITHIN...

- [laughs] - TO...

- JEALOUS? - TO GET--

- I'M SO JEALOUS.

- HONESTLY, I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM TAKE THE BLAME

FOR SOMETHING SO, YOU KNOW,

WE'RE ALL GONNA HAVE ALEKS'S BACK.

WE'RE ACTUALLY GOING OVER FIRE WORK.

- NEW LAW... - YEAH.

- SINCE I JUST GOT REAMED? - YEAH.

- I WANT YOU... [thud]

EVERYONE TO MEMORIZE EVERYONE'S STATION.

- YEAH, WE'RE ACTUAL-- DUDE, LOOK AT US.

WE'RE ON IT, BUDDY. - WE'RE ON--LOOK IT.

- WE'VE GOT TWO COPIES. - HONESTLY, LOOK.

WE'RE DOING IT. - AND I'M MAKING A LIST...

- WE'RE MAKING A LIST.

- OF EXACTLY HOW I WANT TO GET DRESSED...

- THIS IS HOW YOU STUDY. - SO I CAN DO IT FASTER.

- WHAT? DO YOU LIKE IT?

- IDENTICAL CLOTHES, LOOK.

- OKAY, LET'S PICK OUT PANTIES NOW.

COME ON, DARLING.

I LOVE FLIRTING WITH ALEKS.

I LOVE FLIRTING WITH ALEKS. YOU KNOW, I QUESTION WHETHER I WOULD HOOK UP WITH ALEKS OR NOT.

YOU KNOW, I QUESTION WHETHER I WOULD HOOK UP WITH ALEKS OR NOT.

MAYBE I WILL, MAYBE I WON'T.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK? - I LIKE IT.

- BLAOW? BLAOW?

- BLAOW. - BLAOW.

- BLAOW. - BLAOW. - WHO PRESSED MY KHAKIS?

- WHO PRESSED MY KHAKIS?

- WHO PRESSED YOUR KHAKIS? IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION?

- OH.

- IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION? - THANK YOU.

- I'M REALLY STOKED WE HAVE A NIGHT OFF.

I WANT TO HANG OUT. I WANT TO RELAX.

I WANT TO DRINK A GLASS OF WINE AND JUST DO NOTHING,

I WANT TO DRINK A GLASS OF WINE AND JUST DO NOTHING, AND NOT THINK ABOUT WORK FOR A MINUTE.

AND NOT THINK ABOUT WORK FOR A MINUTE.

- THE TENDER IS HERE. LET'S GO!

- WE'RE HERE!

- THANK YOU.

- WE WILL DO A BOTTLE OF ROSE.

- THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT SHOULD BE--

- THIS IS EXACTLY HOW IT SHOULD BE-- EVERYBODY GETTING ALONG,

EVERYBODY GETTING ALONG,

AND EVERYBODY HAVING A GREAT TIME,

AND I WISH IT WAS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.

- I'D LIKE TO MAKE A TOAST REAL QUICK, GUYS.

- ALEKS WOULD LIKE TO MAKE A TOAST!

- I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU TO EVERYONE

FOR DOING A GREAT JOB TODAY ON THE DRILL.

OBVIOUSLY, YOU GUYS SEE I'M STRESSED OUT ABOUT IT

BECAUSE CAPTAIN DIP[bleep] ATTACKED ME.

- WE DID OUR BEST!

- YOUR ENTIRE CREW HAS YOUR BACK ON THIS ONE.

- YEAH. - WE FEEL, ALL OF US,

UNANIMOUSLY FEEL LIKE THE CAPTAIN WAS

OUT OF LINE. HE WAS OVERLY AGGRESSIVE--

- HE WAS OUT OF LINE THE WHOLE TIME,

AND HE CAN'T TAKE QUESTIONS, ESPECIALLY FROM FEMALES!

- YOU HANDLED YOURSELF PROFESSIONALLY AND EXACTLY--

- YOU'VE BEEN LABELING A FICTITIOUS FIRE.

- YEAH!

- YEAH! - AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY INFORMATION.

- AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY INFORMATION.

- NOBODY ON THIS [bleep]

KNOWS WHAT THE [bleep] THEY'RE DOING!

- WHAT THE [bleep] IS GOING ON.

- PASS YOUR BREAD, DUDE.

- YOU GUYS ARE AWFULLY LOUD. - GUYS, YEAH.

WHEN I GO OUT TO DINNER,

I WANT TO HAVE LIKE A NICE TIME AND NOT BE EMBARRASSED.

- WE GOT THE EMAIL 11:30 AT NIGHT, REMEMBER?

- YEAH. - THAT'S THE MASSAGE NIGHT.

- THAT'S TWO! - HEY!

LISTEN TO THE STORY. WE'RE ALL TIRED

AND WE'RE OVERWORKED, STRESSED.

GOT A COUPLE THAT ARE DRUNK,

YOU KNOW, AND JUST BEING OBNOXIOUS AND RUDE.

MR. LEE...

- OH. - SAYS, UM--

- WHO SAID THAT?

- ARE YOU GONNA LISTEN TO THE [bleep] STORY?

I HATE BEING INTERRUPTED.

- [bleep] LISTEN!

WHAT THE [bleep]? - YOU INTERRUPTED ME.

- [bleep] OFF.

- [bleep] OFF. - STOP IT! BEHAVE.

- STOP IT! BEHAVE.

- IT'S OKAY, LOVE, JUST CHILL OUT, PLEASE.

- I'M CHILLIN'. I WASN'T THE ONE WHO SAID THAT.

- PLEASE. - WHAT DID YOU HAVE?

- I NEED TO GET BACK TO THE BOAT.

- BUT YOU ORDERED A MEAL AND IT HASN'T ARRIVED YET, RIGHT?

- BUT YOU ORDERED A MEAL AND IT HASN'T ARRIVED YET, RIGHT? - CORRECT. THAT'S FINE. - WE'LL BRING IT FOR YOU.

- CORRECT. THAT'S FINE. - WE'LL BRING IT FOR YOU.

- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS BACK AT THE BOAT.

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS BACK AT THE BOAT. I'M GONNA GET A TAXI BACK. WE'RE A TEAM.

I'M GONNA GET A TAXI BACK. WE'RE A TEAM.

IF YOU'RE OUT THERE SCREAMING, CURSING,

JUST ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT,

IT'S TERRIBLE, YOU KNOW?

I CAN'T GO OUT WITH THEM ANYMORE.

I'M FINE. IT'S JUST, I DON'T EVEN WANT

TO HAVE DINNER WITH THESE GUYS ANYMORE.

TO HAVE DINNER WITH THESE GUYS ANYMORE. THEY'RE TOO [bleep] LOUD.

THEY'RE TOO [bleep] LOUD.

THEY'RE OBNOXIOUS, DISRESPECTFUL.

JUST THE LOWEST FORM OF CLASS YOU CAN HAVE.

I LOOK AROUND THE RESTAURANT AND PEOPLE ARE STARING

'CAUSE CJ'S SLAPPING THE TABLE AND YELLING,

AND KAT IS SCREAMING, YOU KNOW, IN HER RIDICULOUS ACCENT

ABOUT SOME SORT OF BULL[bleep] THAT'S GOING ON.

IT'S JUST, LIKE-- IT'S ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS,

AND IT'S RUDE, AND I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF IT.

- THIS WAS THE MOST AWKWARD,

UNCOMFORTABLE DINNER I HAVE EVER HAD.

- I'M DRUNK, AND I'M HORNY, AND I'M BORED.

- HEY-O!

- WHERE ARE MY [bleep] SHOES?

[laughter]

- WATCH OUT, THE--OH!

- HERE'S THE PROBLEM WITH THIS ENTIRE FRIGGIN' BOAT.

- NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE [bleep]--

KNOWS WHAT THE [bleep] IS--

- GUYS, WHAT THE [bleep] IS GOING ON?

- WAIT, WAIT, NOW, NOW, NOW! WAIT--THAT'S MY SEAT.

I'M GONNA SIT THERE. I JUST--OKAY.

- WE--YOU GUYS ALL LEFT AND, LIKE, IT WAS A REALLY

AWKWARDLY EMPTY TABLE, SO WE ALL SHIFTED.

- THIS SHOULD BE THE BEST TIME THAT WE HAVE TOGETHER.

THERE'S NO GUESTS.

WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO JUST ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY,

AND INSTEAD, EVERYBODY'S PISSED OFF AND MISERABLE.

- IF YOU STOPPED SLURRING YOUR SPEECH, IT MIGHT--

- THAT IS RUDE. THAT IS RUDE.

- WE ORDERED. WE ORDERED YET AGAIN.

- WE ORDERED. WE ORDERED YET AGAIN. - HE CLEARLY DID NOT SERVE ALL OF US SIMULTANEOUSLY.

- HE CLEARLY DID NOT SERVE ALL OF US SIMULTANEOUSLY.

- RIGHT, TERRIBLE PERSON. OBVIOUSLY AWFUL.

- RIGHT, TERRIBLE PERSON. OBVIOUSLY AWFUL. - THIS WAS THE MOST AWKWARD, UNCOMFORTABLE, INAPPROPRIATE,

- THIS WAS THE MOST AWKWARD, UNCOMFORTABLE, INAPPROPRIATE,

- THIS WAS THE MOST AWKWARD, UNCOMFORTABLE, INAPPROPRIATE, RUDE, AND DISRUPTED DINNER I HAVE EVER HAD IN A PUBLIC PLACE.

RUDE, AND DISRUPTED DINNER I HAVE EVER HAD IN A PUBLIC PLACE.

- RIGHT! I SECOND THAT.

- RIGHT! I SECOND THAT. - I THIRD IT.

- I THIRD IT.

- WHERE'S CJ AND BEN AND--

COME ON, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM.

- AT THIS POINT, I THINK WE'RE LUCKY THAT WE DON'T HAVE ANY

RESPONSIBILITY TOMORROW, THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO FLIP THE BOAT

OR HAVE GUESTS ON BOARD OR DO ANY MORE DRILLS.

I MEAN, I THINK-- [chuckles]

THIS CREW IS JUST TOO

DYSFUNCTIONAL FOR THAT RIGHT NOW.

- SHALL WE?

I GOT WORK TOMORROW. - THERE YOU HAVE IT.

- I KNOW, I KNOW, KAT. COME ON, GANG.

BENNY BOY? - DARLING.

- ANDIAMO.

- WHERE ARE MY [bleep] SHOES?

- BUM, BAH DA BUM BUM.

- BEN, PLEASE, WHY DON'T I-- I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA GO PLAY?

YOU WANNA GO PLAY?

[muttering]

OW! - [laughs]

- OH! UNH, OOH!

- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?

REALLY, SERIOUSLY.

ARE YOU GUYS ALL RIGHT? - [groans]

- COME HERE. AND THEN YOU UP.

- [grunts] - KAT.

- THAT REALLY HURT.

- YOU ALL RIGHT? - WHAT'S UP, GIRLFRIEND?

- YOU ALL RIGHT? - WHAT'S UP, GIRLFRIEND? BYE!

BYE!

ARE YOU STAYING OR COMING WITH ME?

- OH, I'M COMING WITH YOU.

- COME IN FOR A WHISKEY. - SHE JUMPED IN.

- [giggles] - WATCH OUT FOR THE SHARKS, CJ.

- WHERE IS MY HANDSOME MAN? - WHICH ONE?

- CAN YOU GUYS COME PLAY WITH ME?

- CAN YOU GUYS COME PLAY WITH ME? EVERYONE'S GOING TO BED, AND I'M DRUNK

EVERYONE'S GOING TO BED, AND I'M DRUNK

AND I'M HORNY AND I'M BORED.

- HEY-O! KAT HAS LOCKED ME IN A ROOM.

I'VE HAD A FEW DRINKS, LET'S BE HONEST.

WHAT HAPPENED?

I'LL LEAVE THAT TO EVERYONE'S IMAGINATION.

I DON'T KISS AND TELL.

- COME ON!

[whining] BABY!

- I MEAN, LET'S GO THROUGH IT REAL QUICK.

- ALL RIGHT.

IT IS GONNA SPREAD, SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO MAKE

SOME CALLS AT THE END OF THE DAY.

- BUT IF IT SPREADS TO THE ENGINE ROOM

AND IT'S STILL GOING, THERE'S NO WAY I CAN PUT IT OUT.

ABANDON SHIP.

- CAPTAIN, FIRE CAN BE CONTAINED.

- THIS DRILL IS THE DRILL OF ALL DRILLS.

- THIS DRILL IS THE DRILL OF ALL DRILLS. WE HAVE AN UNCONTROLLABLE FIRE THAT LEADS TO ABANDON SHIP.

WE HAVE AN UNCONTROLLABLE FIRE THAT LEADS TO ABANDON SHIP.

I JUST HOPE ALL THE CREW STUDIED THEIR ASSES OFF

TO GET THIS THING DONE RIGHT,

OR ELSE, I'M GONNA HEAR FROM CAPTAIN OLD PEG LEG HERE.

HE'S GONNA UNSCREW HIS LEG AND BEAT ME OVER THE HEAD

AND THROW ME OVERBOARD.

- LEE, WE'RE READY TO ROLL.

- GOT EVERYBODY IN PLACE?

- I MEAN, THERE ARE SOME CREW MEMBERS STILL SLEEPING.

LET'S SEE HOW THEY REACT TO

A FIRE DRILL WHILE THEY'RE SLEEPING.

- WORKS FOR ME. - COOL.

[fire alarm blares] [knock at door]

- WAKE UP! GRAB YOUR RADIOS!

WAKE UP!

GET UP!

BUST YOUR STATION, BUST YOUR STATION!

- CHECK IT OUT.

- GOD DAMN IT, I HOPE WE GET THIS RIGHT.

- THERE APPEARS TO BE A FIRE IN THE PORTSIDE LAZARETTES.

- THERE APPEARS TO BE A FIRE IN THE PORTSIDE LAZARETTES. - [imitates alarm].

- [imitates alarm].

I'M SO HUNGOVER, AND THERE'S A FIRE ALARM.

I HAVE NO PANTS ON. I WASN'T WEARING ANY PANTS,

SO I'M ONE EYE OPEN,

GOING THROUGH MY CLOSET,

TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING APPROPRIATE

TO WEAR DURING A FIRE DRILL.

- ALL THE FOAM AND CO2 YOU CAN FIND, RIGHT NOW.

LET'S GO, GUYS! MOVE IT!

THIS FIRE IS GOING OUT OF CONTROL.

- BE AWARE, WE HAVE A SECONDARY ALARM IN THE ENGINE ROOM.

- CONFIRMED, THERE IS A FIRE IN THE ENGINE ROOM.

- HEY, DAVE, TURN ON THE FIRE SPRINKLER SYSTEM.

- THE SPRINKLER SYSTEM IS ON. - NASH, YOU'RE CLEAR TO EXIT.

OKAY, LEE, WE HAVE NASH.

THE ENGINE ROOM IS CLEAR.

THE FIRE IS OUT OF CONTROL IN THE LAZARETTE.

- LET'S PREPARE TO ABANDON SHIP.

- ROGER! ABANDON SHIP, GUYS!

GET IN YOUR STATIONS!

- IT'S "ABANDON SHIP, 'CAUSE YOU ALL SUCK!"

YOU GET ONE [bleep] FIRE EXTINGUISHER,

PUT IT OUT, OR [bleep] JUMP OVERBOARD.

[alarms blaring]

- I'M GONNA GET YOU UP THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

[background chatter]

- LIFE JACKETS.

- WE'RE JUMPING OVERBOARD, GUYS.

GET YOUR LIFE JACKETS ON, GET YOUR IMMERSION SUITS ON.

- AS SOON AS YOURS IS ON, HELP YOUR BUDDY!

[alarms continue blaring]

[alarms continue blaring] - GO DOWN TO YOUR STATIONS FOR YOUR LIFE RAFT.

- GO DOWN TO YOUR STATIONS FOR YOUR LIFE RAFT.

READY TO ABANDON SHIP, CAPTAIN.

- ALL RIGHT, STAND DOWN,

AND KILL THE GENERAL ALARM, PLEASE.

[alarm fades]

- NOT BAD.

- THAT'S FUN TO DO WITH THREE HOURS OF SLEEP.

- SORRY, EDDIE. I DIDN'T WANT TO SURPRISE YOU,

BUT I HAD NO OTHER CHOICE.

- I'M SWEATING OUT VODKA FROM MY PORES.

THAT WAS AWESOME. WE PULLED IT TOGETHER,

WE'RE A TEAM, AND IT'S SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF.

- HOW DID YOU GUYS FEEL ABOUT THE DRILL?

- BETTER THAN YESTERDAY.

- THE RESCUE WAS PRETTY GOOD.

THE CALL YOU MADE TO GET ME OUT OF THERE WAS PRETTY GOOD.

- CJ, ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS THEY TEACH YOU IN FIREFIGHTING

IS YOU WANT AS MANY LAYERS OF ANYTHING BETWEEN

YOU AND THE FIRE. - I WAS ASLEEP.

- GRAB A SHIRT ON THE WAY OUT THE DOOR.

JUST GO IN THERE BARE-CHESTED LIKE SUPERMAN

AND KNOCK THAT [bleep] DOWN.

OTHERWISE, WHY BOTHER PUTTING THE JACKET ON?

- THAT WAS COMPLETE BULL[bleep]. THE GUY WAS SLEEPING.

HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS A FIRE. HE JUST HEARD AN ALARM.

- EVERYBODY'S UP ON TOP, AND THEY'RE GONNA LAUNCH

THE LIFE RAFTS FROM THE THIRD DECK,

AND THEN YOU'RE JUST GONNA, WHAT, GET AIRBORNE?

THERE'S NO [bleep] EXCUSE FOR NOT GETTING TO YOUR

GODDAMN STATIONS AND GETTING YOUR [bleep] ON.

IS THAT UNDERSTOOD? - YEAH, BUT IT WAS ON FIRE.

- OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- AM I HEARING THIS RIGHT?

IS THIS THE WAY THE MEETING IS GOING?

I'M PERSONALLY SORT OF GETTING TIRED

OF CAPTAIN LEE COMING DOWN ON ALL OF OUR CREW.

IT'S RIDICULOUS.

- IN THE EVENT THAT THE ENTIRE THING IS ENGULFED IN FLAMES,

AND IT'S BURNING AND IT'S HOT

AND WE CAN'T ACTUALLY STAND ON IT, WHERE DO WE GO?

AND WE CAN'T ACTUALLY STAND ON IT, WHERE DO WE GO? - THE PROPER THING TO DO WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM

- THE PROPER THING TO DO WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR HIM

TO GIVE YOU INSTRUCTIONS THAT HE GOT FROM ME.

- WHILE I'M BURNING, I'M NOT GONNA STAND THERE AND WAIT

FOR SOMEBODY TO TELL ME WHERE TO GO.

- AND DO YOU THINK WE WOULD ACTUALLY STAND THERE

AND LET YOU BURN WITHOUT TELLING YOU?

- I'M ASKING SO AS TO--

- AND I'M TELLING YOU, YOU WAIT FOR INSTRUCTIONS!

- AND I'M TELLING YOU, YOU WAIT FOR INSTRUCTIONS! THEY WILL COME!

THEY WILL COME!

NOBODY EXPECTS YOU TO STAND THERE AND DIE!

OUR WHOLE PURPOSE OF THIS IS SO YOU DON'T!

WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT THAT, PEOPLE?

AND WHY IS THAT SMIRK ON YOUR FACE, SAM?

- I'M JUST A HAPPY PERSON.

I DON'T THINK WE DID A TERRIBLE JOB AT ALL.

I THINK WE DID A PRETTY DAMN GOOD JOB.

HE WAS JUST BEING SUCH AN IDIOT.

- PEOPLE WOULD HAVE DIED.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE DOING THIS.

NOT TO MAKE ANYBODY LOOK BAD, BUT TO SAVE SOMEBODY'S LIFE,

WHEN AND IF IT REALLY BECOMES A FACT.

- THE DRILL WENT PERFECTLY, IN MY EYES,

AND THAT JUST SHOWS HOW SHALLOW AND,

YOU KNOW, INSECURE HE IS

AND JUST WANTING TO MAKE US LOOK BAD.

- YOU'RE ALL EXCUSED. - THANK YOU!

- YOU SHOULD HAVE STEPPED

FORWARD WITH YOUR LEFT FOOT INSTEAD OF YOUR RIGHT FOOT.

- DIDN'T YOU SAY WE HAVE THE DAY OFF?

- YEAH, WE HAVE THE DAY OFF.

- SO WE CAN CHANGE INTO CIVILIAN CLOTHES,

WE CAN GET IN THE TENDER, AND PEACE THE [bleep] OUT?

- YEAH, WE'RE JUST WAITING-- WE'RE WAITING FOR, UM,

ITINERARY FROM BOB, BUT I THINK WE'RE GONNA BE--

- OF COURSE WE ARE. [laughs]

- I THINK WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE BEACH ALL DAY.

- YES, YES! WANNA GO SAILING?

- SO WHAT?

- ONE, TWO, THREE!

- OH! [laughs]

[laughter]

- IT'S NICE TO BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY,

- IT'S NICE TO BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, GET OUT THERE

YOU KNOW, GET OUT THERE

AND HANG OUT WITH THE CREWMATES

AND HANG OUT WITH THE CREWMATES AND JUST RELAX FOR A FEW HOURS.

AND JUST RELAX FOR A FEW HOURS.

- THAT ONE REALLY HURT. [laughter]

- I MIGHT GET TOPLESS AT THE BEACH, I'M NOT GONNA LIE.

- HEY-O! I'LL BRING THE LITTLE ONES.

- JUST, YOU KNOW, LIKE, WHEN IN ROME--

- "I'LL BRING THE LITTLE ONES"! [laughter]

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA COOK DINNER FOR EVERYONE TONIGHT?

- [laughs]

- YAY! IT'S TIME TO GO!

- OH, MY GOD, I'M SO WHITE I'M GREEN!

- OH, MY GOD, I'M SO WHITE I'M GREEN! - "I'M SO WHITE I'M GREEN."

- "I'M SO WHITE I'M GREEN."

- [indistinct under motor] BADASS MOTHER[bleep]?

[laughter] - I HEAR A QUESTION.

- WITH THE WHOLE DRILL AND GETTING REAMED BY LEE,

IT WAS A GODSEND TO FINALLY GET OFF THE BOAT

AND LEAVE THE REST OF THE STRESS BEHIND AND JUST RELAX.

- THANKS, FRED! - WAIT.

- YEAH, LET'S GET ONE AND NAME IT ADRIENNE

AND STICK PINS IN IT.

- [laughs] - THAT SURE LOOKS LIKE HER.

- THESE ARE SO COOL.

- IT'S NOT OUR CASH! - [laughs]

- WELL, MY CASH THAT'S IN YOUR PURSE.

- WELL, MY CASH THAT'S IN YOUR PURSE. - WE ARE NOT MARRIED, ALL RIGHT?

- WE ARE NOT MARRIED, ALL RIGHT?

- WE DO NOT SHARE A MUTUAL CASH ACCOUNT!

- YEAH!

- WHOA, ITCHY FEET! - [laughs]

- I'M IN IT. I'M IN IT. YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

- YEAH!

- I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET IN THE WATER, LIKE RIGHT NOW.

- CAPTAIN AMERICA! - EXACTLY.

- I THOUGHT THAT ALEKS DID A [bleep] GREAT JOB TODAY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY CAPTAIN WAS SO--

LIKE, CAPTAIN UNDERSTOOD WHAT THE GIRLS WERE SAYING.

HE JUST KEPT FIGHTING IT.

- IT'S JUST GONNA BE HARD TO DO MY JOB,

DEALING WITH THAT [bleep]HOLE.

YOU GUYS DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM.

I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HIM FACE TO FACE.

- I HAD TO LIVE WITH MY SUPERIOR, WHO WAS JUST AS BAD.

IMAGINE IF YOU WERE LIVING WITH LEE, IN THE ROOM?

- I'D KILL HIM.

- EXACTLY.

I WANTED TO KILL HER.

- I'M EXCITED TO HAVE ALEKS AS A ROOMMATE.

I LIKE GUY ROOMMATES.

I MEAN, HE'S GOOD-LOOKING,

HE'S CLEAN, HE SMELLS GOOD.

HE PROBABLY HAS GOT A BIGGER PENIS THAN ADRIENNE, TOO.

- WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PARTNER.

I'M HIS RELIEF, HE'S THE CAPTAIN.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FRIENDS, YOU KNOW,

NOT STAB EACH OTHER IN THE BACK.

- THAT'S WHAT HE DOES, THOUGH.

- IF THAT'S WHAT HE WANTS, YOU KNOW, THAT'S--

- THAT'S WHAT HE DOES BEST.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS,

AND SO THAT'S HIS MENTALITY.

HE'S NOT NICE TO ANYBODY.

IF YOU DON'T GO ALONG WITH THE NAZI, YOU GET [bleep] WHAT?

YOU GET BURNED.

- AFTER THAT BRIEFING, WE AS A CREW CAME TOGETHER,

LIKE, "WOW, THAT WAS COMPLETE BULL[bleep]."

- PERFECT. I'LL TAKE IT!

- IT'S A LITTLE WINDY OUT HERE TO DO THIS.

- WE GOT TRAPEZE HOOK-UPS ALREADY, ALSO.

- THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT TIME OFF.

- THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART ABOUT TIME OFF. WAKEBOARDING, SURFING, BODYSURFING, SAILING--

WAKEBOARDING, SURFING, BODYSURFING, SAILING--

I LIKE ALL OF IT, SO THIS IS PERFECT.

- WHOA!

- THERE'S OUR CREW, RIGHT THERE ON THAT SAILBOAT, I THINK.

THAT CATAMARAN WITH THE YELLOW,

GREEN, AND BLUE SAIL? - YEAH.

- WHOO!

- COWABUNGA!

- YEAH!

- OH, I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE!

- AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO KEEP MY DISTANCE FROM

GETTING MYSELF EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH SAM,

IT'S DEFINITELY TOUGH.

THIS CHARTER SEASON IS GONNA BE OVER SOON.

WHETHER SHE WANTS SOMETHING MORE, WHO KNOWS?

- TO SAILING THE SEVEN SEAS!

[laughter]

- TO RIDING THAT [bleep] CAT IN 20 SECONDS.

- I HAVE TO ADMIT, I'M JEALOUS ALL OF A SUDDEN NOW THAT

BEN AND ADRIENNE SHARE A ROOM TOGETHER.

ARE THEY GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS?

EVEN LOVERS?

- ARE YOU STILL DOING THAT NATIONAL ORDER?

- YEAH.

THAT'S LIKE SPELT, YEAST-FREE, MULTI-GRAIN BREAD?

DUDE, I DON'T KNOW.

NO.

- WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

- AAH! [overlapping shouting]

- [laughs] OH, THERE'S OUR RIDE.

- OH!

- AWESOME.

- YES!

- THERE'S A LOT OF COCK FLOATING AROUND IN HERE.

- "THERE'S A LOT OF--" [laughter]

- IT'S LIKE A COCK STEW.

- THAT TOE WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE CARESSING MY [bleep]HOLE.

- [laughs] - I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT.

- I'M GLAD OUR CREW IS HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME TONIGHT.

THEY NEVER GET TO DO THIS

ON THE BOAT, YOU KNOW? - YEAH.

- [laughs]

- [laughs] - CAN I BE ANY [bleep] PLAINER THAN THAT?

- CAN I BE ANY [bleep] PLAINER THAN THAT?

- NO, YOU CAN'T BE ANY MORE PLAINER THAN THAT.

- DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER? - I WILL KEEP MY PANTS ON.

- IT'S 2012.

WE'RE IN THE JACUZZI, THE JETS ARE ON,

IT'S JUST SAM AND DAVE AND I.

IT'S JUST SAM AND DAVE AND I. WHAT THE HELL'S A HOT TUB FOR, ANYWAY?

WHAT THE HELL'S A HOT TUB FOR, ANYWAY?

WE SWAPPED SHORTS. [bleep] GET OVER IT.

WE SWAPPED SHORTS. [bleep] GET OVER IT. - I JUST THINK YOU NEED TO REMAIN CALM.

- I JUST THINK YOU NEED TO REMAIN CALM.

- OH, I'M CALM. - DAVID.

- OH, I'M CALM. - DAVID. TRUST ME, I'M CALM.

TRUST ME, I'M CALM.

YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME WHEN I'M NOT CALM.

- WHAT THE HELL IS CAPTAIN LEE THINKING?

HE'S OUT OF HIS MIND.

WE DON'T SUCK.

HE SUCKS.

- I JUST TALKED TO THE CAPTAIN.

- KEEP YOUR PANTS ON, CJ!

- AS LONG AS I'M WEARING PANTS, WE'RE GOOD!

- BUT THE SHIRT OFF IS OKAY, NOW?

- BUT THE SHIRT OFF IS OKAY, NOW? - I--WELL, I'M WORKING HIM IN, YOU KNOW?

- I--WELL, I'M WORKING HIM IN, YOU KNOW?

- [laughs]

- SO AM I ALLOWED TO GO FOR A WALK?

- IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT, NO.

- PLEASE GO FOR A STROLL DOWN THE DOCK?

- NO. - WHY?

- BECAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING FOR A STROLL

DOWN THE DOCK, I THINK YOU'RE GOING OUT.

YOU'RE DRUNK!

- THERE'S OTHER WAYS AROUND THIS!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL YOURSELF!

NO!

NO! STOP IT. DON'T KILL YOURSELF.

STOP IT. DON'T KILL YOURSELF.

- I'M NOT KILLING MYSELF. - IT'S OKAY, I LOVE YOU.

- WHY ARE YOU BEING SO [bleep] MELODRAMATIC?

- [laughs]

- THIS IS MY BATHTUB.

- [laughs] - WHAT?

- [laughs] - WHAT? FOR THE RECORD, I WAS NOT TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE.

FOR THE RECORD, I WAS NOT TRYING TO COMMIT SUICIDE.

I WAS ACTUALLY JUST TRYING TO GET UNDER THE WATER.

I WAS ACTUALLY JUST TRYING TO GET UNDER THE WATER. NOW, I'M ENGLISH. WE LOVE BATHS, OKAY?

NOW, I'M ENGLISH. WE LOVE BATHS, OKAY?

WE BATHE.

- [laughs] - I NEED A RUBBER DUCKIE.

- A RUBBER DUCHY! A RUBBER DUCKIE!

- WINE! WINE ME.

- [laughs] - WINE ME.

- CAN I GIVE YOU CHEESE

AND CRACKERS? CAN I GIVE YOU...

- CHEESE AND CRACKERS WOULD BE LOVELY.

- RED WINE?

AND CAN I GIVE YOU A BLOWJOB?

- YOU CAN GIVE ME ANYTHING YOU LIKE, DARLING.

- [laughs]

- DO ME A FAVOR? - YES, SIR?

- PUT ME TOGETHER A PLATE THAT I CAN TAKE TO MY QUARTERS?

- DO YOU WANT JUST, LIKE, A LITTLE ENSEMBLE?

- THAT WOULD WORK FOR ME.

- EVERYONE IS KIND OF OFF RIGHT NOW, BUT I'M SADLY NOT.

I'VE STILL GOT TO COOK FOR THE CREW.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST GONNA HAVE FUN WITH IT.

I'VE DECIDED THAT I'M GONNA MAKE

SOME REALLY GREAT PROTEINS AND PUT THEM ON PIZZAS.

PIZZA IS REALLY CLOSE TO MY HEART.

I STUDIED IN ITALY, SO I'M DOING A FOIE GRAS AND FIG.

I'M DOING A BRAISED STEAK TIP AND MASCARPONE.

UM, I'M DOING SOME KILLER STUFF.

LET'S GO! PIZZA, PIZZA.

- ARE YOU GOING OUT TONIGHT, OR ARE WE GOING OUT TONIGHT?

WHAT'S GOING ON? - YEAH, WE'RE ALL GOING OUT.

- THAT'S MY SEAT!

- [laughs] YOU ARE AGGRESSIVE TONIGHT.

- NO, I'M JUST SELFISH AND DEMANDING.

- WELL, SURE, CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT, LOVE.

- I THINK WE'RE STARVING. - EAT, THEN.

- OH, MY GOD, I WANT ONE OF THOSE CALAMARI ONES.

- LEE IS NOT COMING.

HE'S NOT EATING DINNER WITH US, THANK GOD.

- HOW'S YOUR PIZZA?

- GOOD! HOW WAS YOURS?

- MINE WAS GOOD.

- ARE YOU GONNA SIT, CAPTAIN? - NO.

I JUST CAME TO DELIVER A BRIEF MESSAGE.

- OKAY.

- SHORE LEAVE IS CANCELLED THIS EVENING.

NOBODY WILL BE GOING OFF

THE BOAT THIS EVENING. - GOT IT.

- I'M NOT ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH

THE AMOUNT OF STUFF THAT'S BEEN GETTING DONE ON THE BOAT

IN THE LAST FEW DAYS, SO WE'RE GONNA MAKE UP FOR IT,

STARTING TOMORROW MORNING.

ANYBODY GOT AN ISSUE WITH THAT?

all: NO.

- SEE EVERYBODY IN THE MORNING.

- [murmuring] [door closes]

- [murmuring] [door closes] - I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB...

- I LOVE MY JOB, I LOVE MY JOB...

- [chuckles] YEAH. - I LOVE MY JOB.

- YEAH. - THIS IS DAY TWO OFF,

IN SIX WEEKS?

COULD I HAVE THAT SCREW-OPEN BOTTLE OF WINE?

I'M GONNA GO [bleep] BREAK IT OVER HIS HEAD.

[laughter]

- I THINK A COUPLE PEOPLE OF THE CREW

NEED TO TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH...

NEED TO TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH... - LET'S CALL HIMN THIS BOAT,

- LET'S CALL HIMN THIS BOAT,

AND THERE'S A CHAIN OF ORDER, AND THAT WE NEED

TO FOLLOW THAT CHAIN OF ORDER

AND NOT DISRESPECT ANYBODY ON THIS BOAT.

- WHAT ELSE HAVE WE GOT AROUND HERE?

- I THINK THAT'S IT, THEN JUST THE CHEESE, GUYS.

- CAN I HAVE A--THE LAMB PIZZA?

I'M REALLY UPSET THAT BEN'S NOT UP HERE,

AND BEN SLAVED ALL DAY OVER THIS.

- [bleep] SUaughter]

- OUTSTANDING TIMING.

- CAUGHT RED-HANDED, YOU TWO.

- YOU GUYS MISSED A GREAT MEETING.

- WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

DID YOU GUYS HEAR WHAT CAPTAIN SAID?

- WE ARE GROUNDED FOR THE NIGHT. WE ARE NOT GOING OUT.

- HE CAME OUT HERE AND TOLD US TO GO [bleep] OURSELVES.

"[bleep] YOUR SOCIAL LIFE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT."

- COULD WE TAKE IT DOWN, LIKE, A NOTCH?

- SHUT THE [bleep] UP.

- IT'S TOUGH FOR KAT.

ONE DRINK OR TEN, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

SHE'S FUN TO FLIRT WITH, SHE'S FUN TO HANG OUT WITH,

AND THEN, LIKE THAT, IT'S LIKE, THROW HER OVER YOUR SHOULDER

AND PUT HER TO BED, 'CAUSE SHE'S DONE.

- ARE YOU GOING TO EAT?

- YEAH, I HAD A COUPLE PIZZAS ALREADY.

- YOU GUYS ARE SITTING THERE LIKE A COUPLE, NOT EATING.

WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?

- NOTHING.

- AM I BEING RUDE? - NO.

- REALLY, WHY ARE YOU GUYS SPENDING SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER?

IT'S PISSING ME OFF. - ARE YOU GETTING JEALOUS, KAT?

- WHY WOULD YOU BE JEALOUS?

ARE YOU AND BEN DATING OR SOMETHING?

- NO, BUT MAYBE I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM.

YES, I'M A GIRL, I GET JEALOUS.

I DON'T LIKE THE THOUGHT OF SOMEONE I LIKE

BEING WITH SOMEONE I DON'T LIKE.

WHAT I DON'T KNOW IS KILLING ME.

- I'M MISSING SOMETHING. - WE WORK TOGETHER, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, SORRY.

YOU KNOW, WE HAD SOME THINGS TO DO.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

- I DON'T THINK I WANT TO HEAR EITHER OF YOUR EXCUSES,

TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

- I DIDN'T COME UP WITH AN EXCUSE.

- YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE TRYING TO.

ARE YOU NOT SITTING THERE TRYING TO COME UP WITH A JUSTIFICATION?

- YEAH. - OKAY, GOOD.

WELL, THEN JUSTIFY AWAY, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS.

- OKAY. - WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER?

- SHE'S [bleep] NUTS.

- SHE'S [bleep] NUTS. SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DRINK, AND KAT IS ONE OF THEM.

SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DRINK, AND KAT IS ONE OF THEM.

IT BRINGS OUT THIS DEMONIC

SORT OF TRAILER PARK REFUGEE,

AND IT'S JUST DISGUSTING.

SHE DOESN'T TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON,

YOU KNOW, AND I DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH THAT.

- WHAT, HER-- - YEAH, THE WAY SHE ACTS

AND BLAMES AND TALKS ABOUT GROSS THINGS, AND IT--

IT'S NOT FUNNY. - I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT

AND HAVE DINNER WITH HER ANYMORE.

- IS THAT WHY YOU LEFT? - THAT'S WHY HE LEFT LAST NIGHT!

- THAT'S WHY I LEFT LAST NIGHT. - BECAUSE OF KAT.

- I'M PRETTY SURE SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT GOING OUT

AND FINDING SOME "DICK" TO GET "IMPREGNATED" WITH.

- YEAH, RIGHT? COMMENTS LIKE THAT--

- WHO EVER WANTS TO DATE YOU?

- KAT'S LIVING THE DREAM, MAN.

SHE DOESN'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT HER,

AND, LIKE, SHE'S JUST HAVING FUN.

- THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAVING FUN

- THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAVING FUN AND BEING ANTISOCIAL. - OR BEING OBNOXIOUS.

AND BEING ANTISOCIAL. - OR BEING OBNOXIOUS.

- RIGHT.

- I GOT TO GET TO ANCHOR WATCH.

I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

- PEOPLE HAVE TO SLEEP IN HERE.

OH. I'M GOING TO PEE.

OH, I'M SORRY, ALEKS.

- ARE YOU GONNA WATCH ME DO THIS?

I'M GONNA DO IT FROM MY UPSTAIRS, TOP STORY PENTHOUSE.

- LUCKY? I'M TOO DRUNK TO GET LUCKY.

WHAT'S UP, CAPTAIN?

- EH, JUST HANGING OUT.

- OH, OKAY. - IT'S CHILL TONIGHT.

- SO AM I ALLOWED TO GO FOR A WALK?

- A WALK WHERE?

IF YOU WANT TO GO OUT, NO. - NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT.

I WANT TO GET OFF THE BOAT AND GO FOR A WALK.

CAN I GET IT APPROVED BY THE CAPTAIN TO GO FOR A NICE STROLL?

- I'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T.

- I KNOW YOU'D RATHER I DIDN'T.

- I KNOW YOU'D RATHER I DIDN'T. - SO I THINK THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTION.

- SO I THINK THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTION.

- BUT I'D RATHER THAT I DID.

- I KNOW THAT'S WHAT YOU'D RATHER, BUT--

- WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT'S NOT EVEN 11:00, CAPTAIN. - I KNOW.

- CAN I PLEASE GO FOR A STROLL DOWN THE DOCK?

- NO. - WHY?

- BECAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING FOR A STROLL

DOWN THE DOCK, I THINK YOU'RE GOING OUT.

AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO OUT.

- OKAY, I'M GONNA GO TO BED, THEN. I'M SORRY, CAPTAIN.

- OKAY. GOOD NIGHT.

- I'M PISSED, BECAUSE THIS IS MY TIME OFF,

AND I WANT TO GO OUT.

AND I WANT TO GO OUT. I'M SICK OF HIM TRYING TO BE MY RULER...

I'M SICK OF HIM TRYING TO BE MY RULER...

LIKE HE'S MY FATHER.

[bang]

- [chuckles]

- [gasps]

- TAKE A LOOK ON THE DOCK.

- YOU WANT TO COME BACK TO THE BOAT, KAT?

- NOT REALLY. - THIS IS GONNA BE UGLY.

YOU'RE DRUNK! - I'M NOT FREAKING DRUNK!

- REALLY? - I'M JUST TRYING TO

HAVE A NICE TIME. - REALLY?

IT'S NOT YOUR NIGHT TO HAVE A NICE TIME.

THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER WITH.

COME BACK TO THE BOAT, KAT.

- I DON'T AGREE WITH HIM,

HE DOESN'T AGREE WITH ME,

AND I JUST WANT TO GET THROUGH THE REST OF THIS SEASON.

I KNOW THAT I AM IN HELL,

AND THAT CAPTAIN LEE IS THE DEVIL.

- NEXT TIME, ON BELOW DECK...

- WHO IS THE VEGAN?

- THESE TWO.

- TWO VEGANS?

- [laughs] - OH, GOD.

- YOU DEFINITELY SHOULD EAT A LOT OF FRUITS AND VEGETABLES.

- I'VE ALREADY EATEN IT!

- I'VE ALREADY EATEN IT! I'VE EATEN EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANTED ME TO EAT!

I'VE EATEN EVERYTHING THAT YOU WANTED ME TO EAT!

I WANT AN EGG, THAT'S IT! - OKAY. STOP YELLING.

- YEAH, BUT WHY DON'T YOU-- - NO, HE'S SO ANNOYING!

I'VE HEARD THIS FOR THE LAST TWO HOURS!

- OKAY, THEN-- - THESE CHARTER GUESTS

THAT WE HAVE ARE COMPLETELY BAT[bleep] CRAZY.

- DAD, SHUT UP!

- WHEN YOU DRINK, YOU TURN INTO

A TRAILER PARK DEMONIC REFUGEE.

- THAT'S SOMETHING AWFUL TO SAY ABOUT SOMEBODY, YOU KNOW?

- I AM UP TO HERE WITH YOU.

- THAT'S WHY I ASKED HAVE I SOMETHING WRONG?

- FROM DAY ONE, YOU'VE BEEN YOURSELF.

- [bleep] HIM. I'M DONE WITH HIM.

[bleep].

[bang]

I'M GONNA DO WHATEVER THE [bleep] I WANT.

- YOU GUYS HAVING FUN?

- THERE WAS JUST, LIKE, RAGE IN HIS EYES.

- CJ AND SAM DECIDED TO GO SWIMMING OFF THE BOW.

THEY HAD A BEER IN THEIR HANDS. - [grunts]

- BASICALLY, WE HAVE TWO OPTIONS.

YOU CAN TAKE THE $500 AND WALK,

OR YOU CAN TAKE $300, PUT THE REST IN THE KITTY,

AND STAY FOR THIS LAST CHARTER.

- FOR MORE BELOW DECK, GO TO BRAVOTV.COM.