All language subtitles for Used People (1992).eng

Some restaurant
I got going here.

Two meals a night.

Just once can't you get home
to eat with your family?

I don't know what to
do with those two.

Norma's gonna end up
beautiful. Like a movie star.

Nuts, just like your Aunt Doddy.

Wearing her stockings
over her shoes.

And Bibby, I don't know
what's gonna be with Bibby.

She don't sleep,
she's big as a house.

Plus that weird smell
she's got. You noticed?

Like bad cooking,
it smells like.

Like from far away, like
distant bad cooking.

I don't know. She scrubs,
it's just her.

What, Jack?

Shh.

- What are you doing?
- Shh.

What'd you lose at the track?

All of a sudden
you want to dance?

* The sky fell down *

* When I met you *

You haven't
danced with me in..

I don't think ever.

* The green of the countryside *

* Has turned to blue *

* I had the moon *

Pearl.

* Right on my fingertips *

* And when first we kissed *

* There were stars
on your lips *

* To be with you *

* Just made it seem *

Oh.

* That walking on snowy clouds *

* Was not a dream *

* You gave to me *

* All this and heaven too *

* When the sky fell down *

* and I *

Burned now. Just
eat around that part.

The second error
of the ball game for the Mets.

And Clemente is on at first.

The Mets
lost the last four games

on the road trip.

Now they've come home to
Shea and they're losing--

Open a window.
There's no air in here.

There'll be nine
teams back in fourth place.

Ma, I didn't introduce you
to Bill. He's a designer.

- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

What's he's taking
the expressway?

We'll sit in traffic.

Tell him to take Grand Central.

No, you're way of out of
your way on Grand Central.

This is only bad because
of the water towers.

You're both crazy.

Swing around down to
the Southern State.

He's gotta follow the coffin.

At least Jack
was normal till he died.

Remember Uncle Manny with
the tubes and the dribbling

and the making little animals
with his cottage cheese.

Al.

Driver, you can let
me out right here.

Six feet from the gates,
you're gonna start this?

Leave her alone, Bibby.
We'll pick you up afterwards.

We're getting out?

She won't
set foot in a cemetery.

Excuse me.

Why don't we
drop you off at the movies?

Bibby, stop.

Who you're
supposed to be today, Norma?

She's Jackie Kennedy.

No, she's Judy Garland

at the end of, "A Star Is Born."

All right, enough.

- Al, can you give me a hand?
- In a minute.

When Jesus was crucified,

he was all blood and guts.

Three days later, he
came back from the dead

out into the sun

and he saw his
shadow on the ground

and that's how he
knew it was Easter.

Look at them.
Would you look at them?

She brought a date, to
her own father's funeral.

All class, my sister.

I know Pearl
appreciates it. Thank you.

Your son-in-law
was very loved.

I mean, what a turn out.

I counted 96 at the service
and 51 at the cemetery.

What's that?

It's Jack's ring.
Just for a while.

It's too tight,
you'll never get it off.

You're gonna lose it.

Grandpa Jack
loved you very much.

You had something special.

And you're never gonna
lose it. Remember that?

He didn't want you to
be the only boy there

without a father.

I had to rub liniment
on his back for a month.

When you were born,
he's the only one

you'd let hold you
without crying.

He used to say to me,

"I just hope I live long enough

to see what Swee' Pea becomes.

He's gonna be the one."

It's okay, Grandma.

Grandpa's still here.

With me.

That's right.

How is she?

If she just doesn't
think about it too much

she's all right.

Of course.

Oh God.

Why you? Why him?

What are you gonna do now?
You're all alone.

You had enough for
one day, I think.

Here.

Lie down.

I'll bring you in
some soup and falafel.

We're not even?

If you call $2.20
short even? We're even.

What $2.20?

You don't
remember about the canasta?

All right, fine, I
don't say a word.

I won at canasta.
You couldn't get a hand.

As a matter of fact you
ended up owing me 85 cents.

I owe you?

You have a very creative
way of looking at things.

Here, all right, 85 cents.

No. You don't remember?

I do, you wiped up
the floor with me.

Here take your pound of flesh.

Forget it.

- Keep it.
- Here! 85 cents.

- I said keep it.
- Thank you.

Do you remember
the smell Bibby had?

Oh, that was terrible.

Your mother asked
everybody what to do.

I told her to rub some
lemon juice on her.

And when they did she
smelled like a filet.

Swee' Pea, what are
you doing to your arm?

You're gonna burst a blood
vessel. You listening to me?

It's Grandpa.

He's made a force
field all around me.

And now no matter what happens
no harm can come to me.

See, it doesn't hurt at all.

It's hardly even red.

Nothing hurts me.

I'm Superman.

Excuse me.

That hurt?

You are Norma.

I am Joe Meledandri.

I am so sorry for your father.

Come in.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

I remember Jack told me once

I could have his Cuban cigars.

I could've sworn
he kept 'em here.

Yeah, he had handkerchiefs
I once admired.

I'm looking for Pearl.

- She's around.
- Thank you.

Brock, Gibson, who can
touch the Cardinals?

The Mets are a joke.

Kranepool's havin' a good year.

- Excuse me.
- And Swoboda's the best!

Excuse me.

Look at her.

She wouldn't come
inside the cemetery.

She's not a well woman.

She dresses up like
characters in movies.

I don't think she should
be raising a child.

- Excuse me.
- Here, you want a plate?

Lonnie, she lost a baby.
That can make anyone crazy.

Do you know she left
the baby taking a nap?

When she came back
he wasn't breathing.

Like that, one year old.

Next thing we know,

she's goin' to movies
five nights a week.

It was very weird.

I used to think her
other kid Swee' Pea was normal.

Now he says he's Superman.

Where is Pearl?

- Pearl?
- Yes.

I think
she's in the bedroom.

Thank you.

Who are you? You're
looking for the bathroom?

Um, no, I just...

I have waited so
long to meet you.

Joe Meledandri.

I knew your husband
many years ago.

I'm so sorry.

- Thank you.
- Please.

Please.

- Here.
- Thank you.

"But those tears are pearls

which thy love sheds.

And they are rich.

And ransom all ill deeds."

Not me.

Shakespeare. 34th sonnet.

Who's that?

She's crying.

You all right? I
brought some soup.

I'm all right.

Who is this?

Excuse me. Joe Meledandri.

How do you do?

My sister's upset,
Joe. She needs rest.

- Oh yes.
- She'll feel better

when she's not prancing
around this big apartment.

- Sure. Too many memories.
- What? Where's she going?

We want her to come
live near us in Florida.

You'll come too, ma.

- What?
- I never said yes.

What do you mean? You
wanna sit alone here.

Like a dog the
rest of your life?

How come this is the
first I hear of it?

- What is she thinking?
- You were always a sneak.

I'm not moving to
Florida. Neither is mother.

Mother's in the room. She
can make her own decisions.

I'm not moving to Florida.

All right, she doesn't have

to make up her mind this minute.

Why put it off?

I don't see that
there's even a decision.

Don't bully me.

- Bully you? You heard this.
- Sh!

Pearly, no one is bullying you.

What do you call it?

Never mind.

I don't need this aggravation.

I'm only trying to help.
And now I'm a bully.

That's not what she said.

Excuse me.

I don't mean to be inappropriate
but I would be very honored

if I can take you out
for a coffee or a meal.

- Come again.
- What?

To talk.

I lost my wife not long ago

and I think I could
be a good listener.

Mr. Meledandri, my sister's
been through a great deal.

Now I'm sure you're
intentions are very friendly.

But I don't think it's
in the best taste--

Best taste?

She's not back five minutes
from Jack's funeral.

Who are you?

Are you cousin's
Minnie's kid, the gimp?

Ma.

What? I didn't
see him walk in.

Oh please.

This is what
you want to stay for?

It's a different world for
you now, you're by yourself.

With an elderly lady
and small children.

You don't have Jack
here to protect you.

He's right about that.

Of course I am.

All right,
you'll see in Florida,

everything will be different.

What would you say to this yutz?

- Yes.
- Huh?

What?

I'd love to have
coffee with you.

You're very kind.

Benissimo.

She got picked up
at her own husband's funeral.

Now I've seen everything.

And who is that?

I've never
seen him before.

I've seen him

on the Italian side
of the boulevard.

The Italian side?

What the hell were you
doing on the Italian side?

In two seconds flat.

Next time, under
happier circumstances.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Yeah!

He asked her out
during daddy's Shiva.

I think that's bad luck.

That's the kinda thing you get

in a car accident on
the way to the date.

Well it's not like she's
going out on some hot date.

All right.
Date, no date.

Look, she asked me to
come by later to help

so I'll see you then, all right?

Bye.

* Then don't play with my
heart it makes me furious *

* Oh but if you want
me to love you *

* Then baby I will *

* Girl, you know I will *

"You can't mourn forever."

Ah.

Don't turn that off.

Your breakfast is getting cold.

Swee' Pea.

Grandpa's here with me.

He needs me for something.

He needs you to stop acting
so weird all of a sudden

and eat your breakfast.

As long as he's watching,
no harm can come to me.

No harm can come to you?

I know you get that from
reading those comics.

And when I was 12, I had
a little man named Skippy

that lived behind my
tongue and told me

to cut my sister's
hair off in her sleep.

Now eat.

* Can't you wonder how I *

Bibby!

- What?
- Hurry up already.

She's driving me crazy up here.

I am waiting for
the signs to change.

It's 5:28.

* It took me by surprise *

* And I found out *

What's with her hair?

Not enough height.

She's a lightning rod.

Any higher she could trip birds.

She needs a lot of
height to balance her hips.

She could balance Dumbo's
hips. She's six foot seven.

We'll dress the rest of you
down to make up for the hair.

You got some nice
plain earrings?

Perfect.

She should take fashion
tips from you?

How are you doing?

She's just a little bit
nervous about her date.

It's not a date. It's coffee.

And I, I got nothing else clean.

I don't know

what she's gotta see this
guy for anyway so soon.

Two weeks after daddy's
gone. It's weird.

And what's the
worst that'll happen?

Somebody might have a good time.

Oh, meaning what? I don't
like to have a good time?

I don't like other people
to have a good time?

- Perfect.
- You look great.

You look like you've been
pickin' through garbage.

I came straight from work.

I thought you
might need my help.

Will somebody get the door?

Bella.

Bella.

It means beautiful, beautiful.

So you
want to go already?

Yes.

Please.

Ah.

Oh, please, please.

You are very lucky to have
such nice, gentle children.

They get it from you.

President Hoover said,

"Children are the most
valuable natural resource."

Uh-hmm.

My mother Freida Melsa says,

"Better you should
have chickens.

At least chickens you can
eat when you're hungry."

Your daughters,
are they married?

Divorced.

Both of them.

That's too bad.

No. They'll find
the right person.

Every deckle has a tepele.

What?

Every pot has a cover.

- Ah.
- They'll find theirs.

- Hi there.
- Hello there.

So how far we walking?
My lungs are in my throat.

I want to take you
some place special.

- In Queens?
- Uh-huh.

Hey, Joe, remember me?

- Oh, hello.
- Theresa.

Look, I know, I said,
I'll have coffee and talk

but that was just to
shut my mother up.

I really don't have
time for a hike.

"We are condemned
to kill time,

and so we die, bit by bit."

Octavio Paz. Please.

That's a cheerful thought.

Since we're dying, could I do
it in some comfortable shoes?

Why don't I go on home,

and you can say hi to
rest of the neighborhood?

Here we are.

It's a bar.

I don't get coffee in a bar.

This is where I met
your husband. Please.

- Hey, Joe.
- Hey.

Joe.

Please.

They know you here.

My brother, Paolo.

Many years ago he
was the bartender.

And I was the cook.
Now he owns the place.

There are so many things
I did since I left Italy.

Merchant seaman, school teacher.

I even played the
accordion professionally

in Catskill Mountains.

You teach kids
with that accent?

Paolo, he was born in America.

It is him who gives me news
of you and your family.

Well look, what about Jack?

You said you met him in here.

Jack didn't drink.

- Fine.
- Hold on.

He came in one night.
He was in trouble.

In trouble?

He was in trouble
with himself.

Oh.

Let me do it in
my own way, please.

Your way I
could miss Johnny Carson.

He told me he was
going to run away.

Leave just a note, a few
dollars and disappear.

You want to save your marriage?

What? By learning to dance?

To dance is to breathe new
life into an empty heart.

I can't.

I'm leaving her this and
I'm walking out the door.

He was so upset. Full of love.

Doing what he thought
was the right thing.

But then he told
me about his wife.

And when he did that,
he became a poet.

He talked about a,
a jewel full of fire

that had turned into a
pair of big, wet eyes.

And no non-sense
get it done hence.

In the middle of Sunnyside

there was a damsel in distress.

And no knight to save her.

This is crazy.

So I said,
"It's not too late.

Go home and dance with her."

Dance with her? I
can't even talk with her.

This is ridiculous.

You don't know her,
you don't know me.

This woman you
describe I never met her

but I'm sure I'm right.

Why do you talk so
crazy? She'd laugh.

No. You know what she'd do?

She'd turn around to the stove

and bury herself in her cooking.

Not if you take
her hand like this.

Pull her.

Press her cheek to yours and...

* The sky fell down *

* When I met you *

* The green of the countryside *

* Has turned to blue *

* I had the moon *

Then, I stood beneath
your window pane

when he took you in
his arms like a pearl.

I saw it all.

You are not a woman destroyed.

I saw a woman haunted by
the ghost of her own grace.

And I fell hopelessly
and pointlessly in love.

And now for 23 years

I was haunted by
this vision of you,

dancing in the wrong man's arms.

I have to go.

No, please, wait.

I can't stay.

My whole life I
don't remember a day

when I could stay in bed till
2:30 and get away with it.

Come on, you still
have a house to run.

And I'm too old
to run it for you.

He quotes this one,
she quotes that one.

And that's a conversation?

You know, all
your kids are weird.

Me? Your daughter's
a Jew for Jesus.

Did I say I was perfect?

Remember I told
you at the Shiva

when the kids were all talking
about moving to Florida?

Yeah.

I hear it's nice
there. They have trees.

You need trees?
You're gonna climb them?

Look who's talking. You
can't even climb a stoop.

- You want a spoon?
- No.

The Deep Dale Nursing Home

is gonna be beautiful
when it's finished.

It's right up the block.

It's too humid in Florida.

- It's humid here too.
- Exactly.

So, who needs Florida?

Look who's back.
Where you been all day?

Out.

I know out.

This is on Weight Watchers?

I'm taking the
kids on a picnic.

I got 'em in the car waiting.

You left the kids in
the car? That's not safe.

They're fine.

How do you know?

They could suffocate.

Did you open the
window a little crack

so they could get some air?

They're not dogs, Ma.

If they wanna have air they
can open the window themselves.

Besides they're not alone.

I have a friend down
there with them.

Oh. A male friend?

Yes. A male friend.

Mm, and he
know about the kids?

He's sitting in the
car with 'em, ain't he?

Of course he knows
about the kids.

Anyway it's not like that.
He's a friend-friend.

A trip to Bendel's and an
hour at the beauty parlor

you would be surprised

how fast a friend-friend
could become

a-bring-him-home-
to-meet-your-mother-friend.

What's his name?

Carl.

Carl, he's a Nazi?

No.

This is
not a Jewish name.

So that makes him a Nazi?
He's not a Jewish man.

And you left him alone in
a car with Mark and Rhonda?

What's he do?

If I knew third degree came

with the invitation
to stay here,

I'd have never moved back.

What's he do?

He plays the zither.

Oh, the zither.

Now that's a nice instrument.

Not too many people play
that instrument anymore.

Is there a large demand for
zither players nowadays?

Look, Ma, I really gotta go.

Fine, don't mind me,
I just pay the rent.

You always do this.

You never have time
when I need to talk

but if I'm
running out the door--

Who's stopping you? Go already.

You got your kids down
there gasping for air

with a zither-playing Nazi.

You're some prize,
you know that.

All right you wanna
talk? Let's talk.

Why don't you tell me about
your new friend-friend?

Don't keep your kids waiting
too long with a stranger.

You can talk to him
all day in German.

Pearl.

Please, Pearl, listen to me.

I am sorry for
yesterday. I know.

You lose your husband and
right away I open my big mouth

and I upset you.

It was wrong and I apologize.

I never meant to
insult Jack's memory.

I don't blame you for
running away, please, Pearl.

Old man, I didn't leave
because I was angry.

I left because I wasn't.

And I don't know what
to do about it, okay?

Never will you
regret this day.

Pearl, I show you the world.

I'll bring you all
that you deserve.

You, you don't understand.

I'm in mourning for my
husband of 37 years, okay?

So I can't see you.

I can't have coffee with you.

And I can't talk to you
like this on the street.

I'm sorry but it's just
not right. Goodbye.

The Mets are hanging tough,

trying to inch their way up.

They're in a tough game with
the Pittsburgh Pirates...

Come on, pay me
what you owe me.

55 cents I owe you.

I told you, write it down

then we won't have
all these problems.

Don't talk to me, you
don't write anything down.

I can't hold a
pencil from the arthritis.

The heat.

The arthritis I've
got, you shouldn't know--

You? I'm all gnarled.

You? I scare the
trick-or-treaters.

My thighs are
stuck to the bench.

My left eye had a cataract.

I had to have it removed.

- Huh?
- Cataracts?

They're very
painful, cataracts.

You see that needle
coming at your eye.

I've seen needles that
you would faint from.

I was a volunteer.

I baked bread for Korea.

Your bread? No wonder we lost.

We did not lose in Korea.

My bread?

We lost the war because of
the disease, Mrs. Know-it-all.

What disease?

The euthanasia.

What you talking, euthanasia?

The disease. I read
it in "Newsweek."

All the youth in
Asia got the disease

where they get
paralyzed and, and,

and they want the right to die

but the machines
keep them breathing.

It's happening there.

Three weeks,

he's been standing
underneath her window.

Don't say a word. Just looks up.

I can't look up or turn
my head with this neck.

Look at him.

* Where are the
words to tell you *

I have been up all night
creating something for you.

I have waited 23 years.

I will wait no
longer. Excuse me.

* Where are the
words to tell you *

* All that is in my heart *

* How do you say what
words cannot say *

* How to even start *

* Can I describe my yearning *

* Looking into your eyes *

* Poets have ways
of making a phrase *

* I am not so wise *

* No words to tell you *

* No, except to tell you *

* But where are *

* The words *

You wrote that about me?

What else is there
to write about?

Pearl, I want to
ask you a question.

Why me?

Make me a happy man.

Let me cook you dinner.

That's it? That's
what was so important?

I'm Italian, we take
cooking very seriously.

The Irish say "There
is no greater love

than the love of food."

Yeah, well, look
what they eat?

And let me cook
for your family too.

Come on. So, what do you say?

It's too soon.

I know.

But is there
really a time clock

for the memory of a husband?

A few months, a few years,
what's the difference?

You will feel this way
for the rest of your life.

As I will for my wife.

Please, its only dinner.

Why should you have to cook
for them every day? Hmm?

Not too spicy, we're Jewish.

We take gas very seriously.

He's drunk.

Well, my brother
always cooks drunk.

Because he believes
that the meal's poetry

is locked in the
bottles, so he drinks.

Is he alright in there?

Sure.

The Mets are winning
handily here in St. Louis

this afternoon on a
sizzling early July day.

And the promising rookie
Garry Gentry has great stuff.

And if the Mets can win today--

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Uh, you know Vic and Eddie?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How you doin'?
- Hi.

- Here, please.
- Oh, thank you.

You're such a gentleman.

- So, who's winning?
- Mets. Three-one.

Oh, really, the Mets?

She's probably the
first woman who's ever sat

and watched a game
with him in 20 years.

I think, I better go save
her. Come on, Jessica.

Will you excuse
me. Just one minute.

Pleasure.

Paolo.

Norma, right?

Yes, Frank, Norma.

Norma, do you play Rummy-Q?

Do I what?

My, uh, wife, Rose.

She plays Rummy-Q
every Friday night.

Do you know what I
do Friday nights?

I don't care.

I, uh, I go to the Run Around.

You know, it's a bar on First
Avenue, I go there all alone.

Did you know that
I'm a psychiatrist?

You don't say.

Very difficult to
keep a secret desire

from a psychiatrist.

What winks and
screws like a tiger.

Rangoon, Port-au-Prince.

Your father's
so full of life.

Must have been great being
raised by someone like that.

I wasn't raised by
someone like that.

I had the best foreign
stamp collection of any kid

on my block from
something like that.

Uh-huh.

Smells great, Papa.

I used to pretend
I lived everywhere

when I was a little girl.

Paris, Singapore.

Now I'd be happy just
to get out of Sunnyside.

In Singapore they say,

"Love is the food of life

but travel is the
dessert."

Hi, honey.

Sometimes I ask myself,

if I had a choice
would I do it again?

Yes.

But next time I'll
bring my children.

So this is where
you learned to dance.

I've never been in
a bar in my life

and now twice in
a month.

I wondered how long
it'd take me to become

one of those widows who
talks to their dead husbands.

What am I gonna do about
this Joe character?

The man's a foreigner.

Half the time I don't even know

what he's talking about.

Give me a sign, Jack.

Something.

Ladies and gentlemen, the
muse has been kind tonight.

Dinner is served.

What is this now?

What is it, actually?

Give some to your brother.

Did you make this?

Small.

That's it.

This spumoni is
so delicate, Joe.

Do I detect a dash of grenadine?

That's enough for us, missy.

You leave the seconds
to the skinny marinks.

What're you doing?

I can't help it.

Pearl.

You can count your blessings.

I usually do it as soon
as I clear a course.

See that way, I got
all my dishes cleaned

and put away by the
time the meal's over.

Are you saying you
don't enjoy the meal?

Believe me, if I knew that
I had dirty dishes pilin' up

in my kitchen, I'd enjoy
the meal a lot less.

We gotta soak those pans, Joe.

Otherwise that gristle
is never gonna come off.

It's not gristle, it's
Chicken alla Cacciatore.

Yeah. In half an hour
it's gonna be glue.

Okay.

No nonsense, get it done hands.

Didn't take you long

to get Frank's tongue
hangin' out of his mouth.

- What?
- I saw you flirtin' with him.

Really, Norma?

It's not enough your
marriage is busted up

you have to bust
up someone else's?

Boy are you off the
mark? He came on to me.

Right.

Look, it does
happen to some women.

Look, Bibby, I'm sorry.

But why do you always
have to start in?

Then I have to hit back and
it's just so stupid already.

We're grownups.

Oh, I forgot.

I'm not the one who starts,

I'm the one who sits
there and takes it.

That's right. Only you're
allowed to start in.

Only you're allowed to get
whatever the hell you want

your whole skinny, perfect life.

Excuse me?

Does the food magically jump
from the plate into your mouth?

Alright, all right. We've
drunk a little too much.

Come on, Norma. Tell
your sister you love her.

Excuse me, Joe, you're
not my father yet.

Norma?

Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
"For ever minute you are angry,

you've lost 60 seconds
of peace of mind."

And Norma Schulman says,
"Fuck Ralph Waldo Emerson."

In my family, we
don't use the mouths

that kiss our mothers
to spit garbage.

All right. I knew
this was a bad idea.

Go on, kids. Go to the room.

Get all your things.

She just takes me by surprise.

She's all right. She just
does what she has to do.

What? She
has to make a scene?

Don't start.

It's not normal
the way she acts.

I mean, look at her.

What kind of example is
that to set for your son?

You know somebody
oughta smack you.

I'm sorry, but being fat isn't
the worst thing in the world

that can happen to a person.

Sometimes, a smack on
the tuchus goes a long way.

Your husband, may
he rest in peace,

would have learned that lesson.

- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.

Well maybe my husband
never gave anybody a reason

to spit garbage.

Okay. Okay.

Stop giving me the
evil eye, you old bat.

All night long with that
look. Twit, twit, twit.

What? What are you doing?

Are you really a psychiatrist?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Come on. I need your help.

What?

Where's Swee' Pea?

I'm sure he's fine.

Did he go to the bathroom?
Did anybody see him?

I saw him go for
a walk with Frank.

And i'll tell you another thing.

You didn't solve anything by
not going to daddy's funeral.

It was cruel. All you
did was upset mommy.

- Bibby!
- She should have gone.

You have the
nerve to sit there

and say I've gotten whatever
the hell I wanted in my life?

Don't you dare tell
me what I should

and what I shouldn't do.

Not until you bury a child.

Swee' Pea?

All right, so we're
here. What're you gonna do?

This
is the final test.

You're the doctor and now
we'll see if I'm crazy.

Well, who
says you're crazy?

Look, do you see that?

Yeah. So?

That's the
third rail. 30,000 volts.

Hey! Wait!

Don't worry.
Nothing can hurt me.

Swee' Pea, get back here.

Oops. It's okay, I'm Superman.

No! No!

Oh God.

Can you help me?

Yes. Yes, I can help you.

What if you can't help?

You're gonna be all right.

It-it's gonna be
all right, buddy.

Please, no more, no more tests.

Swee' Pea, you know,
you grabbed the cover.

The third rail is
very dangerous.

You're gonna have to
come to my office.

Promise
you won't tell my mother.

No. I-I have to.

No. I'll do it
when she's not in a crazy mood.

Okay.

Why was everybody yelling
at each other tonight?

That upset you?

That's just how this family is.

We yell.

But why do families
have to yell?

They don't.

We do.

Now go to sleep.

Sweet dreams.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

I love you.

- I love you too.
- Same here.

And here.

Here,
let me get it for you.

I cannot take this air
conditioner from that man.

He don't use it.

It just sits in the
basement gathering dust.

It's a Carrier.
That's the best there is.

But I don't want
it. You take it back.

You kiddin'? I don't
know how I got it this far.

I told you, use your back.

Not the
back, the chest.

Stick it on your
head for all I care.

Get rid of it, okay?

He feels bad about the dinner.

An air conditioner?
Who won the sweepstakes?

It's from Joe.

When you live in Florida,
you can turn on the TV

if you want a soap opera.

Florida?
Who's goin' to Florida?

Listen, I think you gotta
tell your crazy brother.

Tell him yourself. I'm
just the delivery man.

You're
moving to Florida?

All I said was the kids
mentioned it at the Shiva.

You don't hear.

So sue me, I
don't hear. I'm old.

You're not old,
you're gorgeous.

I'm not gorgeous, but
I have a sweet quality.

- You betcha.
- I'm gonna go call him.

- Pearl, please.
- Hello.

- Hi, Ma.
- Bibby.

I gotta talk to you.

Remember when we
had dinner at Joe's?

Yeah, you
know what he did,

he sent over
an air conditioner.

What? Look, Ma,
this is serious.

So is this.

I gotta
tell you something.

You can talk to me later.

When do I ever call
you? It's important.

I gotta tell you now.

Look, you're under
my feet 24 hours a day.

I have to talk to
you on the phone too?

What's the number?

We didn't lose in
Korea. I fought there.

Who told you we lost?

No, I read it.

I didn't know I was gonna be
interviewed by Mr. David Frost.

- Oh!
- Oh-oh! Whoa.

I've been begging Harry for one.

That's only the second
one in the building.

Pearl, please. Stand here.

He says he's missed
your last 23 birthdays.

It's wasted at his house.

It's delicious.

Well, well, if
it's gonna be wasted.

Hmm.

- Oh!
- Oh, nuts!

Don't do
that, Swee' Pea.

Swee' Pea?

Swee' Pea, come here.

Grandpa used to make people
challah with cream cheese.

I could talk to
him about anything.

And he'd never tell.
Not even my mother.

Sounds like he
was a very special man.

Doctor
Frank says I just want him

to protect me
because I miss him.

Doctor Frank? You
speak to him a lot?

My mother doesn't know.

Come here.

Put your hand here. Like this.

Ah.

Now, I'm going to show you
an old Italian folk song

that was taught to me
by my great grandmother

in Palermo when she
was 98 years old.

Are you ready?

* When you're just in love *

Hm, and where'd you
get that? As if I didn't know.

Joe's gonna give me lessons.

His mother won't like it.

Ah, makes them iron better.

Uh-huh.

So? Can I keep it here?

Please?

Okay, go stick it
in the bedroom closet.

Best way to the cow is
through the calf, huh?

Pearl, I caught him trying
to get a dog to bite him.

Oh. What
are you up to now?

I know this is
not my business.

And Jack never would have told.

But some things should not be
left in the hands of children.

And suddenly you wrote the
book on raising children?

So he acts strange. I've
got news for you, so do you.

Pearl--

You worry about your family,
we'll take care of our own.

You know, he sees
a psychiatrist

behind his mother's back.

What?

My son-in-law.

Pearl, it's like a rock in
my heart to bring you bad news

but this is not acting strange,
this a little boy in pain.

I've raised kids a
lot of years, okay?

I did too.

But I did it in person.

The Tibetans say, "If a man
shuts his eyes during the day

he cannot sleep in
peace at night."

Enough, I think I know better
how to handle my own family

than the Tibetans or you.

And that's why I told you.

There are some things
that should not be left

in the hands of children.

Look, Ma. He's my kid.

And right, now some witch
doctor has got him strapped

to a couch.

He's not strapped to anything.

He's goin' because he wants to.

Why? He knows I'm here.

But who the hell
knows who you are?

When he looks at
ya, he don't know

if he's seein' his
mother or Zsa Zsa Gabor.

I'm sorry, Norma.

Come on, lady.

Look, I got a rock in my heart
with what you went through.

But I think maybe I've
kept the kid gloves

on a little too long.

In stadium history,
the Mets and Cubs at Shea,

every game a sellout.

Jerry Koosman won
the first game

and Tom Seaver, the second.

And so the Mets are now
just three games behind...

Grandma, Mark threw
the ball in the water.

Can I go get it?

No, you just ate. It
hasn't been an hour.

- Okay.
- Your turn.

Could you go get it?

Alright, I'll
get it. Where is it?

- Boungiorno.
- What are you doing?

Why don't you roll
up your pants?

I was in a rush.

Why?

You got some more news about
somebody else in my family?

No.

I talked to
Norma, in my own way.

A mother knows what to say.

And this is the way?

Why they didn't
come in the pool?

Jews don't swim.

They can't eat at the same
time. Their hair gets wet.

It had to be 90 degrees to
get those people in the water.

You're beautiful, beautiful--

Bella, bella. Yeah, I know.

Eh, is this so weird for
somebody to wait 23 years

for someone they
don't even know.

I'm not Lana Turner, you know.

I don't like blondes.

Absence diminishes
little passion

but increases great ones.

Like the wind blows out
a candle but fans a fire.

So you speak French.

You are more than beautiful.

You are the morning dew.

The joy in the baby's laughter.
You are the sun in the sky.

It's enough already.

I'm not the sun in the sky.

You're right.

You were not until you smiled.

Oh, my God!

Two, bam.

Chicken's ready.

I'm not hungry.

What?

I'm not hungry. I'm
movin' to California.

You're what?

Me and the kids.
We're movin' to...

Where are you goin'?

You mind if I sit down?

I've been on my feet
for the last 56 years.

I have to, Ma.

There's nothing for me
here, you know that.

Oh, I see.

I thought about it a lot.

I already lined up
a job. An apartment.

So when were you
planning to tell me?

Or was I supposed
to figure it out

when you stopped showin'
up for your meals?

Every time I try
to talk to you,

I either can't get up the nerve
or else you start hawkin' me

and I never seem to get it out.

So, Bibby,
when are you planning

to make this move?

Tomorrow morning.
We're driving across.

And please, don't
call me Bibby anymore.

Why not? What's
wrong with Bibby?

I've asked
you to use my real name.

Barbara? No,
Bibby's a perfectly good name.

Bibby is not a name, Ma.

It's what an infant
uses to keep food

from drooling down its shirt.

You might as well know

my last name isn't
Berman anymore either.

It's LaSalle. Barbara LaSalle.

Well? Aren't you
gonna say something?

I'm speechless.
I'm struck dumb.

Bibby Berman is a fat,
unhappy little girl.

I deserve a beautiful name,
Ma. Like Simone Signoret.

- She's French.
- Or Brigitte Bardot.

She's also French.

Besides Brigitte Bardot

probably means Bibby
Berman in French.

Forget your name.

You wanna change something,
buy a decent dress.

Look, I don't know why you're
taking this so personally.

I'm not takin' it personally.

If you wanna change
your name, fine.

It's just when
you got a humpback

why spend money on a nose job?

- What?
- Hm.

You are a piece of work, Ma.

Oh, would you ever say
somethin' that mean to Norma?

Do you even know that it's mean?

What's mean, my
darling, is you shovin'

in my face how
your father's name,

a man who would walk
through fire for you,

is not good enough for you.

Why? Apparently, it's not
good enough for you either.

How dare you?

No. How dare you?

How dare you, Ma?

How dare you treat Norma like
some goddamn tragic beauty

and not even call
me by my real name?

All you ever did was poke fun.

That is not true.

You told people I smelled, Ma.

Big joke, huh?

Yeah, that's a riot
to a 10 year-old girl.

Well, I hug my kids.

I would never poke fun
if they were hurtin'.

But you, you got one kid
livin' in a fantasy world

and another kid running
clear across the country

just to get away from you.

You're just so scared to face
yourself alone in the mirror

you're kissin' strangers in
front of the whole neighborhood.

Well, I'm goin' to California.

Maybe I'll make
mistakes just like I did

when I married David

but you can just save your
put-downs and your big advice

because I refuse to let
you keep me from trying.

Since when could I ever stop
you from hurtin' yourself?

Jesus!

You just don't get it, do ya?

No, I don't get it.
I don't want to get it.

I don't wanna know so
much, Bibby, I never did.

What good would it do me, huh?

I'd still have some
lunatic Italian tellin' me

I should run off with him

and a husband who'd have left me

if he didn't learn
to dance in some bar.

Not to mention, two
divorced daughters.

Mm-hmm, go.

You wanna go? Go.

It's not the first time
I've been abandoned.

Daddy's dying was not
abandonment, it was dying.

What's your excuse?

That I wasn't here for you
when your marriage failed?

And you moved back home

with your two kids into
my little apartment?

You want me to say
everything is my fault?

I'm not gonna do it.

You think I was mean to
you when you were a kid?

You think I didn't
do enough for you?

Well, I'm sorry,

but I had couple of other things
on my mind. You know?

Like a depression and the war.

And your father, God bless him,

sleepwalking through
your whole childhood!

God forbid, I should know myself

the way you know yourself.

God Forbid, I should ask
myself those questions.

Like what happened to my
life? Did I deserve more?

Did I ever for one second
get as much as I gave?

God forbid, I should
ask those questions

because if I looked
inside myself

and I really saw what I
shut out for my whole life

what I really missed, then
come from out of me such a rage

it would blow this
building apart

and it would blow you into
a million little pieces

and it would blow Queens off
the face of the goddamn map.

Hello, Benjamin.

Oh, hello.

May I sit down?

Of course.

- How are you?
- Very well.

You don't have
to be so nervous, you know?

Nervous? Well,
I am a bit nervous.

I mean it's pretty hard
to be suave when you're--

- Did you get us a room?
- What?

- Have you got us a room yet?
- I haven't. No.

Do you want to?

Shh.

Well, I don't.

I mean I could or
we could just talk.

You
want me to get it?

You? Oh no.

No, I'll get it.

Do you
want to get it now?

* And here's to
you Mrs. Robinson *

* Jesus loves you more
than you will know *

What's new, tiger?

Well,
well. Norma Schulman.

* Heaven holds a place
for those who pray *

* Hey hey hey *

* Hey hey hey *

You don't have to be
so nervous you know.

I'm not nervous.

You want to get us a room?

Uh, all right.

Do you want to get it now?

Um, yeah. I'll get it now.

Do you want me to get it?

No, no. I'll, uh, I'll get it.

Why don't you get it?

* Our nation turns its
lonely eyes to you *

* Woo woo woo *

Such a pleasant room.

Do you have an ashtray?

Oh, I forgot. The track
star doesn't smoke.

What?

What's wrong?

Mrs. Robinson, you're trying
to seduce me, aren't you?

No, I hadn't thought
of it, but I'm flattered.

No, The Graduate.
That's where I've seen this.

Well, what do you
know about that?

Will you unzip my dress?

Do you want me to seduce you?

Is that what you're
trying to say to me?

I don't know. I mean, I
just saw that movie, um...

Mrs. Robinson, you're
my parent's friend.

I'm in love with your daughter.

Bring me my purse.

Uh, no, I'll, I'll leave
it at the top of the stairs.

Now I'm getting pretty
tired of all this suspicion.

If you won't do
me a simple favor

then I don't know what.

You know, you do this well.
This is, this is terrific.

Uh, what are those for?

Are you sure this was
in The Graduate?

I-I-I got it.

I, uh,

I think you have this mixed
up with another movie.

Perhaps, uh, a foreign movie.

Ow!

What's that for?

All right, um, let me
out of these things.

I'm serious. Where's
the key, Norma?

Let me go.

Ow!

What are you crazy?

You are the doctor, doctor.

Now, I want to know,

what does my son say
to you in that office?

Ow!

What? Are you kidding me?

Do I look like
I'm kidding, numb nuts?

I want to know what he tells
you and what you tell him.

- It's unethical.
- Ow!

Unethical?

I know what you guys do.

Do you really think
I would let you rub

your dirty little hands
all over my son's brain?

Swee' Pea is fine.

Why is it that as soon as
someone has just a little bit

of imagination,
suddenly they're crazy?

Now, first off, I
want you to swear

that you will never
see my son again.

- Well?
- I can, I can't.

Well?

Ow! All right, I promise.

- Good.
- Ow! Oh.

Oh my God.

Ow! Ah!

I don't use Tupperware.
I can't get it to burp.

I only use it to freeze.

Oh, I don't think, you're
supposed to freeze Tupperware.

Who says?

I don't know. I read
it, Family Circle.

All right, I've seen
it. Now, let's go.

Oh, no, no, you promised.

Don't you wanna see
where I'm gonna live?

Even you might like it.

Isn't this place
near where you were mugged?

I wasn't mugged.
I gave it to him.

He had a knife.

That's why I gave it to him.

That's mugging.

No. Mugging is when
they take it from you.

Oh. You're getting technical.

Come on.

May I help you?

Are you here for the open house?

I'm Muriel Jacobs.
What's your name?

You have to jiggle the handle.

Are you all right?

Wait here.

- Leave me alone.
- Leave me alone.

- Don't imitate me.
- Don't imitate me.

- Get off me.
- Get off me.

- Mark.
- Mark.

You're such a baby.

Bibby, what a--

I'm leaving.

I, uh, I just
stopped by to say...

I don't know.

You scared me when
you showed up, Joe.

But I think I understand now.

You wait and you wait and
you could only wait so long

till you gotta try
and make your life,

I don't know, like, the way
you see it in your head.

I learned that from you.

Have you
talked to your mother?

I can't explain that to her

'cause she thinks it
means I don't love her.

Yes, I know.

- You--
- Yes.

You may
be the only one left

with a chance of
breakin' through.

Yes.

And if you ever do,
please, tell her I love her.

I do, but I gotta do
it from a distance.

Uh, Bibby? Bibby?

The air conditioner.
Is it still broken?

Yeah.

Are you crying, Mommy?

Come on, we gotta go.

Where
are we going now?

We're
going to California.

Yes, we're
going to California.

Oh!

You must've had a
hundred ties, huh?

Altogether they weren't
worth more than a dollar.

Well, Taylor, you
had some cheap taste.

* The sky fell down *

* When I met you *

* The green of the countryside *

Didn't know you
were so sentimental.

* I had the moon *

* Right on my fingertips *

* And when first we kissed *

* There were stars
on your lips *

* To be with you *

* Just made it seem *

* That walking on snowy clouds *

* Was not a dream *

* You gave to me *

* All this and heaven too *

Give me a wrench.

- One wrench.
- Which one?

Give me the bigger
wrench. C'mon, give me.

Stop banging
it. You'll break it.

I know that there's
a flange here.

You don't even
know what a flange is. Look.

This little thing.
Can you bend down--

Stop
banging the damn...

It's crooked, Harry.

You're crooked.

Pearl?

How many times have
we broke over the years?

What kind of idiot would
leave $300 in a shoe?

The kind who wants you
to find it after he's dead.

You know, Pearl, it wouldn't
make such a bad dowry.

I got it.

Did they call the repairman?

You know how much
those guys get?

I know what
you're going to say,

"It's too soon.

It's too crazy."

You know what I say?
"Who the hell cares."

Grab him.

And hold on to him until
your knuckles are raw.

Don't wait till you're 80

and alone to realize
how precious life is.

- Why not? It's our right.
- Bravo! Terrific.

He won't quit.

No, he just won't quit.

The man is terrific. Bravo.

- Okay.
- Great.

- Ten seconds he took.
- Didn't even use a wrench.

Perhaps we could talk alone?

- Pearl, that--
- No.

My life has always
made sense to me.

It's not glamorous.

I haven't been a
merchant singer.

I don't know how to
play the accordion

but I always thought
I knew just enough

that I needed to know.

Turns out I, I was wrong.

You were right.

So you want a prize?

Here.

Don't sentence me for
another man's crime.

I'm here. Now.

I don't have to sentence you.

You make no sense
in my life already.

Too much sense is not good.

That's true for you, Joe,
because you're a little boy.

So why don't you just do what
you do best and run away?

Because I love you.

I love you.

I can't say it any other way

but, Pearl, I think
you will never hear me.

It's about
time you got home.

- What's she talking about?
- I don't know she's-

I didn't hear you
leave this morning.

I knew I raised a weirdo,

I never thought
I raised a snake.

- Hey, Swee' Pea.
- Everybody's looking.

Oh! Well why don't you
go complain to Dr. Frank?

Oh that's right, I forgot.

You can't.

Because I've had a long
talk with Dr. Frank.

And I've canceled all
your appointments.

Swee' Pea, he's a quack.

Leave me alone.

He can't help you.

Ma, is Swee' Pea by you?

When?

No. Maybe he's on his way home.

Bye.

I'm sorry.

- Joey!
- Look up!

Oh!

Let's go, huh?

Oh, what you really think
grandpa was gonna protect you?

He did.

He sent Joe.

Stop it! This is
not a game anymore.

What is your problem,
Swee' Pea? Talk to me!

Why are you so crazy? Why
do you have to be so crazy?

Give me a break, will ya?

So I'm a little
bit crazy, so what?

No one
else's mother is.

Oh yeah?

Stop a few people on the street.

and ask if their
mothers are crazy.

See how many say yes.

But
you're really crazy.

All right. So I'm crazy.

So that's what makes you think

that grandpa made
you invincible?

- No.
- Then what?

He needs me.

I need you.

I don't care.

You have to care.

But I'm afraid of you.

Afraid of me? Why?

Leave me alone.

No. Why are you afraid?

When I act like I act

it is just so I can get
out of bed in the morning.

Don't you understand?

I had something
terrible happen to me.

It happened to me too!

Michael died on me too!

Daddy left me too!

Everything that happened
to you, happened to me.

And you went crazy.

And now I'm crazy.

Just like you.

Sweetheart,

listen to me.

It's not something that
you catch like a cold.

You're not me.

You are the bravest, sweetest
little boy in the whole world.

And I would never let
anything hurt you.

Especially not me.

So you can play the accordion.

You can see a doctor.

You can do whatever you need to.

We'll work it out.

But just stop pulling
these stunts, Swee' Pea.

I'm begging you.

Okay?

I'm sorry.

You don't have to
be Superman anymore.

Oh.

Thank you.

For what?

For being a mensch.

Of course.

What is a mensch?

A man.

A good and decent man.

Anybody would
have done the same.

Pearl, marry me.

Is that the
last bottle of that wine?

Marry me.

Marry you, Joe? You
don't even know me.

And I don't know you either.

What do
you want to know?

Make a list.

All right, how come you
never talk about your wife?

Well she was older than me.

She wanted to have children
before it was too late.

She liked the way
I said mio caro.

My dear.

But we always knew this
was not the real thing.

Pearl, you are the real thing.

You're not Jewish.

And I can't help it, I find
that very uncomfortable.

And you're not Italian,
so what? I love you.

This is most important.

I'm too old.

And I'm not strong enough to
face a whole 'nother life.

No, let me be strong.

I'm a safe place.

Nowhere's
a safe place.

There are no guarantees.

I'm a guarantee.

Stop, Joe.

You talk and you talk.

And I know what you want to do

is make me feel things
I've never felt before.

But when am I gonna find

your note saying you
just decided to leave me.

You wanna give me a guarantee?

You guarantee me
you're not gonna die.

Not before me.

Pearl.

Pearl, I cannot
tell you the future,

but I can tell you this
anybody that comes,

to take me away from
you it better command

because I'm not leaving.

Like Charlie Chaplin
said, "I cannot die.

Who would God have to
play jokes on?" Hm?

You have this stuff
written on your hand?

Me? What about you, huh?

Deckles and tepeles
and tweet tweet?

That's different.
My mother taught me those.

So?

And so I know my
mother personally

you don't know Charlie Chaplin.

That's got nothing
to do with it.

And I know, I know the
only fool bigger than the one

who knows it all is the
person who argues with him.

You can't chew with
someone else's teeth.

See, this poet
thing ain't so hard.

Ah, not every food
is worth chewing.

Even cheap borscht is a
blessing for the toothless.

Are all your mother's
quotes are about teeth?

Yeah. Well, she is almost
80, they were on her mind.

So, you haven't
actually said yes.

Pearl, you'll marry me?

This you won't believe.

She told me she won't marry
me until we sleep together.

- She said that?
- Yeah.

Yes, but she means sleep sleep.

Her and Jack, they
didn't fit together.

For 37 years, she
couldn't get comfortable.

I think she's waiting.

Waiting for a sign
that it's all right.

No. Are you nuts?

She wants to check
the merchandise

before she plunks
her money down.

- You think?
- Sure.

She's a lady.
She's being subtle.

What's she's supposed to
say, come on over and hump me

and if it works
it's yours for life.

Here's what you do when you
get into bed with her you sigh.

Sigh?

Rapturously like her beauty

is so breathtaking
you have to swoon.

You are crazy.

All right, then
do one of your quotes.

No, I think she's
sick of the poets.

Then I'm telling you, sigh.

Try it.

No, not like you stuck your
feet in the tub of hot water.

Like words fail you.

Sigh for her lovely, long neck.

For her fine, tapered fingers.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Her full, welcoming breasts.

Ah, ah.

Maybe don't use that one,
she's old, it'll scare her.

Paulo, look!
They're comin' out.

Hey, Neil.

We can see you coming
down the ladder now.

We can see you coming.

I'm at the
foot of the ladder,

the LEM footpads are only--

Paulo, this is
an age of poetry

and miracles.

There appears to be.

They're
coming down the ladder.

Look, now they're coming down.

It's happening.
Come on, you'll miss it.

I can see them.
Look, I can see them.

Get back up to
that first step, it's,

they said it was
the last two bars,

but it's adequate
to get back up.

Roger, we copy.

- Whoo!
- All right!

Okay.

And I'll step
off the ladder now.

It's one small step for man.

One giant leap for mankind.

You all right?
You need a bicarb?

No.

I don't want you to
take this personally

but you have some
very peculiar habits.

Like taking advice
from foolish old men.

Goodnight, Pearl.

Goodnight.

And then the priest is gonna
say something about Jesus

and then you have to say

"Our father who art in heaven."

"Our father who
art in heaven."

"Hallowed be thy name."

"Hallowed be thy name."

"Lead us not
into Penn Station."

"Lead us not
into Penn Station."

I beat you by ten minutes,
you took Southern State?

- Sunrise Highway.
- Sunrise Highway?

Are you crazy there's
a million lights.

I got a radio. I
don't mind the lights.

Harry, I look okay?

Come here.

* Moon over Miami *

* Shine on my love and me *

* So we can stroll *

* Beside the role
of the rolling sea *

* Moon over Miami *

What do you want?

I want you to come
with me to Florida.

- What?
- You heard me.

The house is big, there's
an electric oven. Come.

You want that?

Of course I want that.

The toilet is quiet.

You won't have to
jiggle the handle.

I had Ruthie try it out.

What do you say?

I say, you're crazy.

All of a sudden, she wants
me to come to Florida.

Oh my God!

You look just like
you were at 22.

You look beautiful.

Like some kind of
princess in a fairy tale.

So, I saw the rabbi.
Where's the priest?

He's around. Hippies,
the both of 'em.

Nobody else would do it.

Tell me do you know anything
about some present from Joe?

A groom don't give
the bride a present.

I don't wanna hear it.

I took the Expressway. Okay?

I took the Expressway.

It's about time.

Oh, you look so handsome.

Where's your mother?

Don't worry, Grandma.
She'll be here soon.

She had something she had to do.

So tell me is there
ever a moment in all this time

when you didn't think
that this day would come?

Do you want to
know the real truth?

Not one single solitary second.

Daddy! The present's here.

- Oh.
- What?

Forgive me, Jack.

You were my present?

Joe wanted me at the wedding.

I wanted you at my wedding

So where are the kids?

Locked in the car,
suffocating. I'm kidding.

They're inside.

So how's California?

I like it.

We'll talk.

Good luck, Ma.

You deserve some happiness.

Thanks.

Grant this stubborn
old lady one wish.

What's that, Ma?

I gotta call you Bibby.

Not when anyone's around.
Just when we're alone.

I don't know any Barbara.

See ya out there.

By the way, just
so you remember.

Daddy changed his name when
he came through Ellis Island.

I mean, really, what
does it matter anyway?

You really do look beautiful.

You too, my kid.

They're eating
before the ceremony.

You stop them.

Mets could win the Series

and my mother wouldn't let
me listen to it in the car.

Wrap it
up this afternoon.

What's the score?

It's tied.

- Jerry Guzman.
- Three up. Top of the eighth.

I don't think you
remember Aunt Louisa

when we went for dinner
at Uncle Paolo's bar.

No. No, no!

No!

You in there?

You decided yet?

Could you give
me five minutes please?

You saying this the way

it would be the whole
time in Florida?

No, there are
two bathrooms there.

You'd never see me.

I enjoy seeing you.
But not in the toilet.

All right, I'm leaving.

Why didn't
you ask me before?

Because I was afraid.

Afraid I'd say no?

Afraid you'd never be
able to make a change

after all these years.

But I saw that Deep Dale, Becky.

Then, I look at what Pearl is
doing and how brave she is.

And I don't wanna send the
rest of my life waiting to die.

Shh.

I know you don't
want to hear it,

but we're running outta time.

72 years I know you.

It'd be nice to have a good
old friend there at the end.

You mean it?

I said it. So?

So?

What do you think?

What do I think?

I think the next time
somebody offers me a toilet

where you don't have
to jiggle the handle

and a bunch of
cockamamie palm trees,

I'm gonna say..

* Moon over Miami *

* Shine on my love and me *

You're not gonna flush?

Oh leave me alone.

Well?

Mom,
you look beautiful.

Just like everybody else.

Yeah?

Well do me a favor. Just
stick by me, all right?

- Hey.
- What?

- Why don't you sit down?
- But we just got--

Look, Rose, sit down.

Find a table, I'll come back.

All right, you
wanna go with me?

I'll
come with you, Mom.

You look beautiful.

You look great.

Calm down. It's no tragedy.

It is.

So what if there's no music?

It's just nerves.

Okay, you can
relax, Norma's here.

Oh, the groom isn't
supposed to see the bride

before the wedding.

Did you hear
me? What's wrong?

The musicians are stuck with
a flat on Taconic Parkway.

The Taconic?

They should've
taken the Saw Mill.

No, the Major Deegan is
faster than the Saw Mill.

What are you talking
about? They had a flat.

No, it's all right,
it's all right.

I can sing "Oh Promise Me."

- Oh God.
- Oh no.

All right, fine. So get
married in deathly silence.

Don't worry.
There will be music.

How?

His accordion's
only two minutes away.

He's hardly had any lessons.

What's he gonna play? Scales?

"Three Blind Mice?"

He's very good.
He's got a gift.

You don't wanna
embarrass the kid, Joe.

Look at that face.

You wanna
do it, sweetheart?

Yes, Grandma.

To have you play at my wedding

would be the crowning
glory of the day.

Aw!

It's something
I'll never forget.

I only know one song.

Good, it'll be short.

Now go get your accordion.

Ready?

Welcome to our family.

Pearl, I
hope you're very happy.

Let's go
get a front seat.

Bella.

Bella.

I'll see you out there.

We're in
the ninth at Shea.

Hold on, we're almost there.

Thank you.

Do you Giuseppe
Federico Meledandri

Uh-huh.

Take this woman to
be your lawful wedded wife

to have and to hold in
sickness and in health

till death do you part?

I do.

And do you, Pearl
Judith Berman, take this man

to be your lawful wedded husband

to have and to hold in
sickness and in health

till death do you apart?

I do.

Then in
the sight of God

and by the power vested in
us by the state of New York..

The Mets
won the Series! Yes!

- Yes!
- Yes!

Yes!

By the power--

The Mets won!
I can't believe it!

- Sh!
- By the power

vested in us by the
state of New York,

we now pronounce you man.

And wife.

Oh.

You may kiss the bride.

You have
to break the glass.

The
glass. Again, again!

The glass.

Come on,
that's enough already!

I'm sorry.
Are you all right?

Here. Let me help you.

Please God. Don't
let us be related.

* The sky fell down *

* When I met you *

* The green of the countryside
has turned to blue *

* I had the moon *

* Right on my fingertips *

* And when first we kissed *

* There were stars
on your lips *

* To be with you *

* Just made it seem *

* That walking on snowy clouds *

* Was not a dream *

* You gave to me *

* All this and heaven too *

* When the sky fell down *

* And I met you *