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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Wow!
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00:00:02,534 --> 00:00:04,834
Look at the flowers
Caitlin's boyfriend sent her.
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00:00:04,868 --> 00:00:07,667
I've never seen
such beautiful arrangements. .
4
00:00:07,701 --> 00:00:10,367
She must have really
given it up last night. .
5
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,367
Hey!
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00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,734
I'm right here! .
7
00:00:15,901 --> 00:00:18,167
Doesn't tom know
that women don't really care
8
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,133
about silly gifts like flowers? .
9
00:00:20,167 --> 00:00:23,234
How are you single?
Tom is romantic. .
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00:00:23,267 --> 00:00:25,968
In fact, he's on his way up
with a surprise for me.
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00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,868
I'm pretty sure it's those
U2 tickets I've been hinting at. .
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00:00:28,901 --> 00:00:30,033
Hi, honey! .
13
00:00:30,067 --> 00:00:32,467
Hey, I see you got the flowers.
14
00:00:32,501 --> 00:00:34,067
I've got
one more surprise for you. .
15
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:35,901
You've been
dropping hints all week
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00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:38,400
about seeing a certain group
of irishmen?
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00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:40,534
Tom, you didn't.
I most certainly did!
18
00:00:40,567 --> 00:00:41,934
I got us front-row seats
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00:00:41,968 --> 00:00:45,167
to Seamus O'Reilly's epic
musical about the potato famine. .
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00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,968
"The sterile soil"? .
21
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Surprise! .
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Good morning, Paul.
What's that? .
23
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My divorce has been finalized. .
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My marriage is over.
I'm gonna grow old alone. .
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Why does this upset you now? You and Claudia
haven't been together for two years. .
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Legally we were together.
Now my inability to keep a woman
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has been officially recognized
by the state of New York. .
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You and tom got the big
potato show tonight? .
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00:01:44,300 --> 00:01:47,234
What do you wear
to something like that...
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00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:49,100
a strapless burlap sack?
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00:01:49,133 --> 00:01:51,000
Tom may not take me
to cool concerts,
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but he's reliable and stable,
33
00:01:52,734 --> 00:01:54,601
and that is what
I'm looking for.
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00:01:54,634 --> 00:01:56,133
Caitlin, I know you. .
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00:01:56,167 --> 00:01:58,501
You think you're happy
with a 4-door buick,
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00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:01,434
but what you really want is
the Porsche turbo convertible...
37
00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:05,434
5-speed, all leather,
jet-black finish,
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00:02:05,467 --> 00:02:08,968
cruising on the road
on a cool summer day. .
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00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,300
Are we still talking about me?
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I don't think so. .
41
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Hello, everyone!
Oh, listen, don't forget
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I'm guest bartending tonight at the Callahan
tavern fundraiser for the playground project. .
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Sir, I didn't know
you could bartend. .
44
00:02:21,968 --> 00:02:23,934
How you think I paid
my way through college? .
45
00:02:23,968 --> 00:02:26,367
Your dad? Correct...
46
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who inherited his money
from my grandfather,
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who made a fortune
during prohibition
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00:02:32,534 --> 00:02:36,434
bootlegging whiskey,
which is served in... Bars! .
49
00:02:36,467 --> 00:02:38,033
So, go ahead. Test me. .
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00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:39,934
Uh, what's in a mai tai? .
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A mai tai? .
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Well, it's got, uh...
It has, uh... .
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What are you, a woman?
Drink a beer! .
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Four cold ones.
55
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,434
I want you guys
to get tanked tonight. .
56
00:03:01,467 --> 00:03:06,000
And remember...
it's for the kids. .
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00:03:06,033 --> 00:03:09,033
To... Our love. .
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00:03:10,701 --> 00:03:13,234
Hey, buddy!
Enjoy it while you can. .
59
00:03:13,267 --> 00:03:15,834
Today you're kissin'
like lovebirds. .
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00:03:15,868 --> 00:03:19,667
Tomorrow, you're depressed
in a bar, harassing strangers. .
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To your health!
62
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:25,400
Paul, I know
what you're going through.
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00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:26,934
I've had someone
I love leave me. .
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This isn't the story about
the time your cat, tinkers,
65
00:03:29,601 --> 00:03:31,534
got run over
by an ice cream truck? .
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No. .
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What happened?
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00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:35,701
I was a junior at Harvard. .
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00:03:35,734 --> 00:03:38,067
No, no, no.
I mean with tinkers. .
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Did the truck, like,
pancake him or what? .
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00:03:40,067 --> 00:03:44,434
My boyfriend and I had organized
a reception for Michael dukakis.
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00:03:44,467 --> 00:03:48,300
I went to a party
for dukakis back in college. .
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It was in New York, not Boston. .
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It's kinda hazy.
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I remember mine. .
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Oh, God, that was a terrible night.
I had been planning it for months. .
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As members
of the dukakis generation,
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we can change the world. .
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Under his presidency,
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00:04:05,968 --> 00:04:08,334
Americans will finally
embrace the metric system
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00:04:08,367 --> 00:04:12,467
and will travel across country
by solar-powered monorail.
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00:04:14,167 --> 00:04:18,067
Great speech, hon. You're tops. .
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00:04:18,100 --> 00:04:19,634
Thanks, Doug. .
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00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:22,734
Now, the governor should
be here soon. When he arrives,
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00:04:22,767 --> 00:04:25,567
we should all be discussing
his campaign proposals.
86
00:04:25,601 --> 00:04:28,701
Britney and Chad Stevens
will discuss welfare reform.
87
00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:33,534
Beth and Chad Roberts
will discuss ozone protection. .
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00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:36,901
And April and Chad mcdougal
will discuss tax reform. .
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00:04:36,934 --> 00:04:38,167
Aaaaah! .
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00:04:39,734 --> 00:04:42,267
An entire beer...
all over my new outfit! .
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The guy has the nerve
to say to me, "sorry about that. ."
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"Why don't we go back
to my place .
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And get you out
of that sweater?" .
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00:04:51,701 --> 00:04:54,734
Maybe it was Boston.
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She digs me.
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00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:04,367
I can't believe that was you.
97
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,300
I thought you went to Michigan.
98
00:05:06,334 --> 00:05:08,767
I did my freshman year,
but I got kicked out. .
99
00:05:08,801 --> 00:05:11,133
Then I tried Miami,
but that didn't work...
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too close to the beach. .
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00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,834
Next was Arizona...
Or was it Alabama?
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00:05:19,467 --> 00:05:24,133
Paul, you need to stop
feeling sorry for yourself.
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00:05:24,167 --> 00:05:25,834
I bet there are plenty
of women here
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00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,601
who'd love to meet
a guy just like you. .
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Take her, for instance. .
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She looks nice.
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I don't know. .
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Come on, Paul. Look at you. .
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You're still wearing your ring.
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I guess I just got used to it. .
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You need to move on. .
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Now, go over there
and be yourself. .
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Be myself. .
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Be yourself. .
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Okay. All right. Be myself. .
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Hello, I'm Paul lassiter,
international restaurateur. .
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Can I buy you a drink?
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I'd like that, but I'm with
a friend who just got dumped,
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and I probably shouldn't
leave her alone,
120
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,267
but the guy you're
with is kinda cute. .
121
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,067
Does he have a girlfriend? .
122
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:05,100
Not likely. .
123
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,167
Then I got kicked out
of Syracuse. .
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Then northeastern...
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which is in the same town
as Harvard. .
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Where I wandered
into your party. .
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Oh, lucky me. .
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If memory serves,
you thought I was pretty cute. .
129
00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:23,801
Oh, please!
I spent the entire night
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00:06:23,834 --> 00:06:26,400
trying to keep you
from disrupting my party. .
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You didn't belong. .
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Hey, I fit in just fine. .
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00:06:33,133 --> 00:06:36,167
Come on, come on.
Alternative energy sources.
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Chad. Solar power.
135
00:06:38,534 --> 00:06:40,868
Britney. Windmills. .
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Already been said. Drink. .
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00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:46,100
Drink! Drink! Drink!
138
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,601
What are you doing? .
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00:06:51,634 --> 00:06:54,367
Spicing up
your discussion group.
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00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:56,501
I don't know who you are,
but this function is
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00:06:56,534 --> 00:06:58,734
for serious supporters
of Michael dukakis. .
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00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:00,601
What makes you think
I'm not serious? .
143
00:07:00,634 --> 00:07:04,133
Cold fusion. Cold fusion is not viable.
Double chug. .
144
00:07:04,167 --> 00:07:07,100
Drink! Drink! Drink!
145
00:07:07,133 --> 00:07:08,968
I'm here because
I want to meet dukakis,
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00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,067
but he's not showing up
for another hour. .
147
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,234
What do you say you and I
take off and shoot pool?
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00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,534
I have a boyfriend,
and even if I didn't,
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I would never leave here with you.
I understand. .
150
00:07:18,801 --> 00:07:23,267
You prefer straight-arrow, button-down
type guys. You're uptight. .
151
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,801
You want to go outside and get
a better view of the Charles?
152
00:07:26,834 --> 00:07:28,901
I don't even know your name.
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Charles.
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I am not uptight. .
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Okay. You're not. .
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You remind me
of a young Geraldine ferraro. .
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Really? .
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Who invited you anyway? .
159
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:43,601
Hi, honey.
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00:07:43,634 --> 00:07:45,734
I don't believe we've met.
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I'm Caitlin's boyfriend,
Doug smuckers. .
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00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,834
Schmuckers? Smuckers. .
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00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:55,667
The dress code requires
a sport coat. You should leave. .
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Okay. Fine. .
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Let me tell you something,
Doug, I'm gonna miss you. .
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00:08:03,501 --> 00:08:05,667
Hey! Is
hydroelectric power good? .
167
00:08:05,701 --> 00:08:08,601
Yeah, but you pointed. Drink! .
168
00:08:08,634 --> 00:08:11,033
Drink! Drink! Drink! .
169
00:08:12,734 --> 00:08:14,534
Let me guess what happened. .
170
00:08:14,567 --> 00:08:16,133
You both agreed to meet later
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00:08:16,167 --> 00:08:18,167
on top of the
empire state building. .
172
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:20,634
Sir, that's
"an affair to remember." .
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Ah. It was very entertaining. .
174
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:27,934
You might think of spicing up
your story a bit. .
175
00:08:27,968 --> 00:08:31,801
So that just
leaves Everest and k2,
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00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:37,467
and I will have climbed
the world's seven tallest peaks. .
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00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:39,767
Wow. That is amazing. .
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00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:43,367
Ah! You just need
a good sherpa. .
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00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:47,133
Uh, so, Debbie,
what are you into? .
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00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:50,501
Tall, handsome men
who shave their head.
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00:08:52,434 --> 00:08:54,734
Paul, let's go get some drinks. .
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00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,067
But it's their round. Paul. .
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00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:01,334
Two white wines. .
184
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:03,200
You didn't tell her
I was gay, did you?
185
00:09:03,234 --> 00:09:05,367
I don't like to label people. .
186
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:07,701
Well, I've got to tell her. .
187
00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:10,033
Things are going really well
with me and Tiffany. .
188
00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:12,501
If you tell Debbie you're gay,
they're gonna go home. .
189
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:15,234
You're the one who wanted to
help me get over this divorce. .
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00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:18,734
Fine. But I'm not
happy about this. .
191
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,501
Here we go, ladies. .
192
00:09:20,534 --> 00:09:22,534
Thank you. Thank you. .
193
00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:24,601
So, Carter... .
194
00:09:24,634 --> 00:09:26,701
We've heard a lot about Paul. .
195
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:28,234
What are your interests?
196
00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,367
I like the theater, the ballet.
197
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:35,968
Football, beer, cars, breasts. .
198
00:09:38,767 --> 00:09:40,501
So what did happen next? .
199
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:43,000
Dukakis was due
to arrive any minute.
200
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,701
I was poised, as usual. .
201
00:09:44,734 --> 00:09:47,400
Good evening, governor dukakis. .
202
00:09:47,434 --> 00:09:50,801
Oh. Too formal.
203
00:09:50,834 --> 00:09:54,000
Hello, Michael. .
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00:09:54,033 --> 00:09:56,901
Too sexy.
205
00:09:56,934 --> 00:09:59,100
'Ello, guvna. .
206
00:09:59,133 --> 00:10:00,968
Too British.
207
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,701
I need someone to help me
set out more wine. .
208
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:07,934
Um... Excuse me.
Are you available? .
209
00:10:10,501 --> 00:10:11,701
I knew you'd come around.
210
00:10:11,734 --> 00:10:14,033
I thought we asked you
to leave.
211
00:10:14,067 --> 00:10:15,267
I'm wearing a sport coat. .
212
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:17,300
A century 21 jacket? .
213
00:10:17,334 --> 00:10:20,534
Yeah. Any interest
in selling this place? .
214
00:10:22,334 --> 00:10:24,467
Any interest in going out
with me tomorrow night? .
215
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:25,667
Are you kidding? .
216
00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:28,167
No, that's cool.
A girl like you
217
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,033
would never want to go
to an aerosmith concert anyways. .
218
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:33,000
Aerosmith? I love them. .
219
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,767
Really? You? .
220
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:40,167
Yes! Despite what you might
think, I-I... Often rock.
221
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,067
I don't know what
you're still doing here,
222
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,467
but the governor's going
to be here any moment. .
223
00:10:44,501 --> 00:10:46,434
Why don't you and I
step outside?
224
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:49,734
I don't know, Doug.
It is cold and flu season. .
225
00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:51,300
Oh, that's it. .
226
00:10:55,133 --> 00:10:56,534
My God! .
227
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,968
Dukakis is here! .
228
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,367
So dukakis got punched.
Big deal. .
229
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,267
How much damage
could Dougie have caused? .
230
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:15,133
Yeah, it's broken. .
231
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:19,234
This is bad. .
232
00:11:19,267 --> 00:11:22,467
Word gets out the governor got punched
by a kid, he'll look like a wimp. .
233
00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:25,167
Now, we'll need a way
to toughen up his image. .
234
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,367
Excuse me. Isn't governor dukakis
going to an army base tomorrow? .
235
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:32,567
Yes. Why don't you get a
picture of him riding a tank? .
236
00:11:32,601 --> 00:11:34,167
That's brilliant! .
237
00:11:35,167 --> 00:11:36,334
Let's go. .
238
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,434
Wait, you have the wrong man!
239
00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:39,901
Caitlin, do something! .
240
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:45,334
I hope you're happy.
241
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,534
I have been planning
this party for six months,
242
00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:48,701
and now it's ruined! .
243
00:11:48,734 --> 00:11:49,868
The party's not ruined. .
244
00:11:49,901 --> 00:11:52,467
We've still got
drinks and music
245
00:11:52,501 --> 00:11:54,701
and a healthy
male/female ratio. .
246
00:11:54,734 --> 00:11:57,133
Excuse me, but the answer
to every problem
247
00:11:57,167 --> 00:11:58,701
is not drinking and sex. .
248
00:11:58,734 --> 00:12:01,133
So why don't you take
your "animal house" act
249
00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:03,767
over to pine oak college,
where the girls are easy? .
250
00:12:03,801 --> 00:12:06,067
First of all, don't judge me. .
251
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,767
And secondly,
is pine oak on the green line? .
252
00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:11,701
Wait. Wait, I'm telling you
we can have a good time here. .
253
00:12:11,734 --> 00:12:15,167
A young democrat society is not
interested in your kind of fun. .
254
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,901
Attention, everyone! .
255
00:12:16,934 --> 00:12:20,567
Who wants to hand out
campaign leaflets in the square? .
256
00:12:20,601 --> 00:12:22,300
And who wants to stay here
257
00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:24,567
and drink and dance
and try to hook up? .
258
00:12:28,033 --> 00:12:30,267
I win.
259
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,033
I can't believe you ruined
260
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:34,767
the most important night
of my college life! .
261
00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:36,801
It wasn't my fault. .
262
00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:40,167
Settle down, you two.
Here. Have a drink. .
263
00:12:41,667 --> 00:12:44,868
Mmm! Oh! It's a little strong.
264
00:12:44,901 --> 00:12:47,968
I poured for three seconds
just like the book says. .
265
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,100
Here. Watch. .
266
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:51,534
One... Two... .
267
00:12:51,567 --> 00:12:54,033
Mr. mayor? Where'd
you put the olives? .
268
00:12:54,067 --> 00:12:55,334
Uh, next to the vermouth. .
269
00:12:55,367 --> 00:12:56,601
Thanks. .
270
00:12:56,634 --> 00:12:58,634
No problem. And three. .
271
00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:02,701
God, it's so great
to meet normal guys. .
272
00:13:02,734 --> 00:13:03,934
Don't you think so, Deb?
273
00:13:03,968 --> 00:13:06,801
I totally agree. .
274
00:13:06,834 --> 00:13:09,234
It's so hard to find a decent,
single man in this city.
275
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:10,934
Tell me about it.
276
00:13:10,968 --> 00:13:12,133
I mean... .
277
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:14,667
Tell me about it.
278
00:13:14,701 --> 00:13:16,200
Paul, can I get you
another beer? .
279
00:13:16,234 --> 00:13:17,467
Can I bring back something?
280
00:13:17,501 --> 00:13:19,701
I'll tell you what you
can bring back...
281
00:13:19,734 --> 00:13:21,133
that sweet behind of yours. .
282
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,567
Ha ha!
You got it goin' on, baby. .
283
00:13:22,601 --> 00:13:24,300
You got it up top,
you got it down below. .
284
00:13:24,334 --> 00:13:26,834
You gotta get me
the hell out of here. .
285
00:13:26,868 --> 00:13:28,467
What's the problem? .
286
00:13:28,501 --> 00:13:31,734
The problem, Paul, is she wants
to do me like homework. .
287
00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:35,100
Just give me 15 more minutes,
then you can tell her.
288
00:13:35,133 --> 00:13:36,801
15 minutes! .
289
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:38,167
Just stick to small talk. .
290
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,934
Don't give her any
opening to make a move. .
291
00:13:40,968 --> 00:13:43,634
All right. I'll try.
We're back! .
292
00:13:43,667 --> 00:13:47,300
Oh, does anything taste better
than a gin and tonic? .
293
00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:49,534
How about this? .
294
00:13:51,868 --> 00:13:55,634
Anyway, you ever been
to the himalayas? .
295
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,033
Terrific Mountain. .
296
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:59,634
Keep going with your story.
I'm on the edge of my seat. .
297
00:13:59,667 --> 00:14:02,834
If I'm gonna keep telling
this story, I'll need a drink. .
298
00:14:02,868 --> 00:14:04,100
Give me a Cosmopolitan.
299
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:06,601
Cosmopolitan? That has, uh... .
300
00:14:06,634 --> 00:14:11,467
What are you, a woman?
Have a beer! .
301
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:14,734
After Doug was kicked out, I
decided to have a few cocktails
302
00:14:14,767 --> 00:14:16,367
to cheer me up. .
303
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,868
Great party, Caitlin. .
304
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:20,100
Shut up! .
305
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,868
You want some help with that? .
306
00:14:26,901 --> 00:14:30,934
Why? Do you have some fancy,
frat-boy way to open it? .
307
00:14:34,534 --> 00:14:36,133
You think you're so cool
308
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:40,667
with your spiky jacket
and your leather hair. .
309
00:14:40,701 --> 00:14:42,968
But guys like you have no idea
310
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:47,767
what they want to do with their lives,
and there is nothing cool about that. .
311
00:14:47,801 --> 00:14:50,534
And I suppose you have
everything all figured out? .
312
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:52,868
As a matter of fact, I do. .
313
00:14:52,901 --> 00:14:54,167
After graduating,
314
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,767
I'll marry Doug, we'll both work
in the white house
315
00:14:57,801 --> 00:15:02,000
for president dukakis, we'll
have one son... Douglas Jr...
316
00:15:02,033 --> 00:15:03,601
he'll be
an accomplished pianist,
317
00:15:03,634 --> 00:15:06,334
captain of the debate team. You
know what else he'll be doing? .
318
00:15:06,367 --> 00:15:09,067
My son's homework? .
319
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:12,667
You're just jealous
because you have no future.
320
00:15:12,701 --> 00:15:14,801
I may not have my future
all figured out,
321
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:17,234
but at least I'm not wasting
the best years of my life. .
322
00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:19,367
What are you talking about? .
323
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,367
Have you ever thought of doing
something without a plan? .
324
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,701
Like blowing off class
and going to the beach? .
325
00:15:24,734 --> 00:15:26,934
Or jumping in your car
and driving all night,
326
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,434
not knowing where you're going? .
327
00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:30,133
You're gonna wake up one day
328
00:15:30,167 --> 00:15:32,334
in your perfect house
with your perfect life,
329
00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,801
and you're gonna realize
that you never lived at all. .
330
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:38,200
So I guess this is where I'm
supposed to say you're right,
331
00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:40,601
and how desperately
I wish that just once
332
00:15:40,634 --> 00:15:43,067
I could let my hair down
and do something crazy. .
333
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,033
No, I was just saying that... .
334
00:15:48,434 --> 00:15:51,434
Awesome!
335
00:15:51,467 --> 00:15:53,634
I'm not done.
336
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:57,467
Caitlin!
337
00:15:57,501 --> 00:15:59,334
Doug!
338
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,067
Crawford! .
339
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:03,501
Schmuckers.
340
00:16:05,868 --> 00:16:07,300
Doug. .
341
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:18,601
So that's the story. You happy? .
342
00:16:18,634 --> 00:16:23,234
It's your fault Doug dumped me. .
343
00:16:23,267 --> 00:16:25,367
What did I miss?
344
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:29,200
I was gonna ask you
the same thing. .
345
00:16:29,234 --> 00:16:31,534
Why don't we get out of here
and go back to my place? .
346
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,167
My roommate's out of town. .
347
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,801
Uh, I-I'm sorry.
348
00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:37,334
I really have to
tell you something. .
349
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,667
Oh, God. I'm coming on
too strong, aren't I? .
350
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,634
It's just that my boyfriend
left me for a guy. .
351
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,000
He did? .
352
00:16:46,033 --> 00:16:47,133
Yes! .
353
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:50,000
He was gay the whole time
and lied about it. .
354
00:16:50,033 --> 00:16:51,901
Every time I think about it,
355
00:16:51,934 --> 00:16:54,868
I just want to hunt him down
and strangle him! .
356
00:16:54,901 --> 00:16:57,334
Would you excuse me
for just a second?
357
00:16:59,534 --> 00:17:00,767
Paul! .
358
00:17:00,801 --> 00:17:02,467
Pardon me. .
359
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:06,534
Listen, I think I'm gonna
take a pass on Tiffany. .
360
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,334
She's not floatin' my boat. .
361
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:11,367
We're just not clickin'
like you and Debbie. .
362
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,534
Not clicking? You wanna know
what was clicking? .
363
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:16,234
Debbie's tongue
against the roof of my mouth!
364
00:17:16,267 --> 00:17:18,868
I can't believe I
did this for nothing! .
365
00:17:18,901 --> 00:17:21,000
You didn't do this for nothing.
366
00:17:21,033 --> 00:17:23,667
Tiffany may not be
the right girl for me,
367
00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,868
but I got back out there.
That's what I needed.
368
00:17:26,901 --> 00:17:28,400
I owe that all to you. .
369
00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:30,234
Thanks, Paul. .
370
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:34,100
Hey! I guess I won't be
needing this anymore. .
371
00:17:34,133 --> 00:17:36,234
Well, good for y...
372
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:39,534
hey, can I borrow that
for a second? .
373
00:17:39,567 --> 00:17:42,200
Yeah.
374
00:17:43,901 --> 00:17:46,634
Debbie, I, uh...
375
00:17:46,667 --> 00:17:51,868
I don't know how to say this,
but, um... Well... .
376
00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:53,067
You're married? .
377
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:54,934
Yes. .
378
00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:57,067
So you're cheating
on your wife? .
379
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,167
While she's home
baking cookies,
380
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,067
you're here trying to ignite
some tawdry love affair?
381
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:04,067
I'm afraid so. .
382
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:06,501
That is such a turn-on! .
383
00:18:15,334 --> 00:18:17,267
How can you still be mad at me
384
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,601
for something that happened
14 years ago?
385
00:18:19,634 --> 00:18:22,534
I've managed to put
that night behind me. .
386
00:18:22,567 --> 00:18:24,868
That's because
you can't remember it. .
387
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:27,767
That does help.
388
00:18:27,801 --> 00:18:29,367
I'm not mad at you. .
389
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:32,400
Reliving that night
made me realize
390
00:18:32,434 --> 00:18:34,133
that you were right.
391
00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:36,534
Doug wasn't the guy for me. .
392
00:18:36,567 --> 00:18:39,801
And I kissed you because I
was looking for a way out. .
393
00:18:39,834 --> 00:18:42,801
You dated a stiff 14 years ago.
It's all in the past. .
394
00:18:42,834 --> 00:18:46,200
No, no, no. I have repeated this
pattern my whole life.
395
00:18:46,234 --> 00:18:49,234
I've always gone for guys
who are safe and reliable,
396
00:18:49,267 --> 00:18:51,300
even when I knew I wanted more.
397
00:18:51,334 --> 00:18:52,467
I'm pathetic. .
398
00:18:52,501 --> 00:18:54,467
You're pathetic?
399
00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,000
I've hit on you
in three decades,
400
00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:58,133
and all I've gotten
is two kisses. .
401
00:18:58,167 --> 00:18:59,133
No, I'm serious.
402
00:18:59,167 --> 00:19:01,167
I'm afraid I'm
with tom right now
403
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,467
for the same reasons
I was with Doug.
404
00:19:03,501 --> 00:19:05,934
Tom is a solid guy. .
405
00:19:05,968 --> 00:19:09,100
If I was critical of him earlier,
it's because I was a little jealous. .
406
00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:12,067
The only two guys that aren't
going to kiss a girl tonight
407
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:13,534
are me and Carter. .
408
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,667
Strike that. .
409
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:23,467
You know what, Charlie? .
410
00:19:23,501 --> 00:19:27,934
For three decades of work,
you get a kiss. .
411
00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:30,834
All those years and all I get
is a peck on the cheek? .
412
00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:40,601
Thanks.
Have fun with tom tonight.
413
00:19:40,634 --> 00:19:43,501
I will.
414
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,567
Caitlin? Uh... Tom!
415
00:19:58,601 --> 00:20:01,501
Charlie. Schmuckers. Tom. .
416
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:04,734
We gotta hustle
to make our show. .
417
00:20:04,767 --> 00:20:08,300
By the way... Change of plans. .
418
00:20:08,334 --> 00:20:11,267
Oh, my God! U2 tickets! .
419
00:20:12,834 --> 00:20:16,534
You didn't really think I was gonna
take you to that play, did you? .
420
00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:18,300
We gotta hurry.
I'll get us a cab. .
421
00:20:25,834 --> 00:20:27,267
See you Monday. .
422
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,701
Yeah. See ya.
423
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,167
Sir. I need a beer. .
424
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,234
A beer? What are you, a...
425
00:20:41,267 --> 00:20:42,734
wait, I know that one. .
426
00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:51,634
Well, Mike, I like
the minimum wage increase
427
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,767
and the paid
family leave program,
428
00:20:53,801 --> 00:20:56,667
but your idea
for inner-city tax credits
429
00:20:56,701 --> 00:20:59,100
has already been said. Drink! .
430
00:21:02,567 --> 00:21:07,567
Drink! Drink! Drink!
431
00:21:13,300 --> 00:21:15,734
- Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
- .
432
00:21:15,767 --> 00:21:18,234
Moo.
32280
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