Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:04,167
Charlie, I can't believe
2
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,634
we stayed out until 5:00 a.m. .
3
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:09,234
Hey, what do you say we go home
4
00:00:09,267 --> 00:00:11,133
and nap all day long?
5
00:00:11,167 --> 00:00:12,601
I'd love to,
6
00:00:12,634 --> 00:00:15,334
but I kind of have to
run New York City. .
7
00:00:15,367 --> 00:00:18,801
You are so cute
when you're responsible. .
8
00:00:18,834 --> 00:00:20,701
Have a good day at work. .
9
00:00:20,734 --> 00:00:21,934
Have a good day
10
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:25,634
at taking some time off
to find yourself. .
11
00:00:25,667 --> 00:00:27,200
Oh, and you really think
the sideburns work? .
12
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:29,200
Oh, yes. .
13
00:00:29,234 --> 00:00:32,000
People are going to love them. .
14
00:00:34,133 --> 00:00:36,934
Whoa, direct
from Beverly hills,
15
00:00:36,968 --> 00:00:40,400
it's Luke Perry. Ha ha ha ha. .
16
00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:43,667
Hey, welcome back, kotter. .
17
00:00:45,868 --> 00:00:48,434
Hey, leave Chester a. Arthur
alone.
18
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:53,300
He was the 21st president
of the United States. .
19
00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:54,601
Ha ha ha ha. .
20
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:57,601
He had huge sideburns. .
21
00:00:57,634 --> 00:00:59,200
You guys are just jealous
22
00:00:59,234 --> 00:01:01,100
because unlike you,
I had fun this weekend. .
23
00:01:01,133 --> 00:01:03,634
Hey, we had plenty of fun. .
24
00:01:03,667 --> 00:01:06,567
Yeah? I'll bet I can guess
what every one of you did. .
25
00:01:06,601 --> 00:01:07,801
Okay. .
26
00:01:07,834 --> 00:01:10,767
Took a vita-bath
and listened to dido. .
27
00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:12,934
Ha ha. .
28
00:01:12,968 --> 00:01:15,234
The same. .
29
00:01:16,801 --> 00:01:19,400
Made prank calls
telling people to come
30
00:01:19,434 --> 00:01:22,334
pick up free big-screen tvs
in Atlantic city. .
31
00:01:25,667 --> 00:01:30,501
Rented a u-haul,
drove to Atlantic city. .
32
00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:32,334
Good morning, everyone. .
33
00:01:32,367 --> 00:01:35,133
What do you think of
Charlie's new style? .
34
00:01:35,167 --> 00:01:37,968
Well, it looks fine to me.
Thank you, sir. .
35
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,701
Of course, he would look better
36
00:01:39,734 --> 00:01:41,974
if he were on the cover of
a grand funk railroad album.
37
00:02:21,534 --> 00:02:22,834
Hello? .
38
00:02:22,868 --> 00:02:25,734
Hey, baby.
We're on our way up.
39
00:02:25,767 --> 00:02:29,000
I hope you are so psyched
to party all night,
40
00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:31,868
because I got us vip tickets
to kaboom. .
41
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:34,767
Oh, I'm so psyched.
42
00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:36,434
I've been dying to get
into that place. .
43
00:02:36,467 --> 00:02:38,667
And we are going
to party all night. .
44
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:40,567
So, are you having f... see ya. .
45
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,501
Hi. Kaboom? .
46
00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,734
This is Charlie Crawford,
deputy mayor. .
47
00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:50,801
Yeah, we got
to shut you down tonight. .
48
00:02:50,834 --> 00:02:54,934
Your kitchen's in violation
of a city health code. .
49
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,267
No kitchen? .
50
00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,667
All right, I'm going
to level with you.
51
00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:00,534
I'm with the vice squad. .
52
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,434
We need to use your club
to stake out
53
00:03:02,467 --> 00:03:05,501
the seedy establishment
across the street from you. .
54
00:03:05,534 --> 00:03:08,167
Yes, the Christian science
reading room.
55
00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,334
Charlie.
56
00:03:09,367 --> 00:03:11,434
Charlie, we're worried
about you. .
57
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:12,767
You've been out every night
this week,
58
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:15,000
and you look exhausted.
What's going on? .
59
00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:16,734
Nothing.
60
00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:18,300
I'm having a good time. .
61
00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:20,634
You're obviously having
an early midlife crisis.
62
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,067
I mean, I'm roughly your age,
63
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:24,300
and you don't see me
dating 23-year-olds. .
64
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,501
That's because
they're repulsed by you. .
65
00:03:26,534 --> 00:03:28,000
Oh, that doesn't hold up. .
66
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,701
So are 50-year-olds,
and I date them.
67
00:03:30,734 --> 00:03:34,167
Charlie, as your friend,
68
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,067
I feel compelled to tell you
69
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,000
that those sideburns
really do come off
70
00:03:38,033 --> 00:03:40,501
as a desperate attempt
to cling to your youth. .
71
00:03:40,534 --> 00:03:42,801
Kind of like the way
you shave your head
72
00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:44,834
so people won't see
your bald spot? .
73
00:03:44,868 --> 00:03:46,000
Ha ha ha. .
74
00:03:46,033 --> 00:03:47,567
Good one, Charlie. .
75
00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:50,501
At least I don't look
like the third Duke of Hazzard. .
76
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,501
If you guys don't mind,
77
00:03:52,534 --> 00:03:57,167
I need to get ready to go out.
78
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,367
Charlie, why don't you accept
79
00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,701
that you can't
keep up with Tracy? .
80
00:03:59,734 --> 00:04:01,767
So I'm a little tired. .
81
00:04:01,801 --> 00:04:04,067
That's what happens when
you're having a good time. .
82
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:06,000
You wouldn't know.
You're too busy playing bingo
83
00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,067
with Tracy's dad. .
84
00:04:07,100 --> 00:04:09,667
Hey, bingo is very hip
these days. .
85
00:04:09,701 --> 00:04:11,834
Besides,
when I close down a bar,
86
00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:14,133
at least I don't do it
over the phone.
87
00:04:16,434 --> 00:04:17,634
Hey, Charlie. .
88
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:18,868
Hey, Caitlin. .
89
00:04:18,901 --> 00:04:20,200
Hey. .
90
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:22,200
So, ready to go to kaboom? .
91
00:04:22,234 --> 00:04:24,033
Yes. .
92
00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,734
You want to come? .
93
00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,534
Really? .
94
00:04:27,567 --> 00:04:29,467
Yeah, I mean,
you are dating my dad,
95
00:04:29,501 --> 00:04:31,701
and you have been trying
to get to know me better. .
96
00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:33,033
All right. Let's go. .
97
00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:35,534
Where are you guys going?
I want to go. .
98
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,834
Sorry, I can't get
any more people
99
00:04:37,868 --> 00:04:40,868
on the vip list,
and you'd have to wait in line. .
100
00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,367
Yeah, Paul, I'm sure
you got better things to do
101
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:44,267
than wait in the freezing cold
for six hours
102
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:46,501
trying to convince some bouncer
you're worthy of getting in. .
103
00:04:46,534 --> 00:04:50,267
Should I wear jeans? .
104
00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:01,067
Oh, my God. .
105
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:02,367
That's Martin Davis. .
106
00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,434
He's the biggest art dealer
in the city.
107
00:05:04,467 --> 00:05:06,400
I'm guessing he's also gay. .
108
00:05:06,434 --> 00:05:08,567
Why, just because
he's dressed well? .
109
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:12,167
No, because you're
sucking in your stomach.
110
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,634
I'll admit it's true.
111
00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:16,801
I've had a little crush on him
for quite some time. .
112
00:05:16,834 --> 00:05:18,467
He just looks like one of those
113
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:20,834
stuffy, pretentious,
high-society snobs.
114
00:05:20,868 --> 00:05:22,834
I know. He's perfect. .
115
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,534
Sir, what was
Martin Davis doing here? .
116
00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:30,501
He invited me to a fund-raiser
he's throwing tonight.
117
00:05:30,534 --> 00:05:32,501
I bought a few seats,
but I'm not going to go. .
118
00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:34,167
It's for predominantly gay men.
119
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,634
I don't think I fit in. .
120
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,834
Sir, you were the grand marshal
at the gay pride parade. .
121
00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:38,934
You seemed comfortable. .
122
00:05:38,968 --> 00:05:41,434
Yeah, but I was
high above the crowd
123
00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:43,934
in that leaning tower
of pisa float. .
124
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,767
That wasn't
the leaning tower of pisa. .
125
00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:48,801
That was a giant... no. .
126
00:05:48,834 --> 00:05:49,934
Sir...
127
00:05:49,968 --> 00:05:52,400
I think it's very important
that you attend.
128
00:05:52,434 --> 00:05:54,634
Martin Davis could be
a very influential supporter
129
00:05:54,667 --> 00:05:55,834
of your administration. .
130
00:05:55,868 --> 00:05:57,901
Well, that's certainly true. .
131
00:05:57,934 --> 00:05:59,501
Tell you what...
I'll go along to help out. .
132
00:05:59,534 --> 00:06:03,234
That's an excellent idea,
Carter. It's a date. .
133
00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:04,834
Wait, if people
see us together,
134
00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:06,834
they may get the wrong idea.
135
00:06:06,868 --> 00:06:10,000
Stuart, why don't you come?
Oh, I'd love to, sir. .
136
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:13,400
Great. It's a threesome.
Nothing gay about that. .
137
00:06:17,367 --> 00:06:20,534
You're really gonna go?
Why wouldn't I? .
138
00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:22,667
Because it's going to be populated
by the gay elite of this city. .
139
00:06:22,701 --> 00:06:23,834
You don't belong.
140
00:06:23,868 --> 00:06:25,534
I take you to straight events. .
141
00:06:25,567 --> 00:06:28,200
That's because you know women love gay men.
You use me as bait. .
142
00:06:28,234 --> 00:06:29,901
Oh, you figured that out?
143
00:06:29,934 --> 00:06:31,801
I don't care what you say.
I'm going. .
144
00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:35,334
Going where? Where are you guys
going? I want to go. .
145
00:06:35,367 --> 00:06:38,934
It's a fund-raiser. The mayor can
only put 2 people on his guest list. .
146
00:06:38,968 --> 00:06:40,934
Aw, come on.
I never get included.
147
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,334
I wanna be on the list,
148
00:06:42,367 --> 00:06:44,367
and I don't want
any lame excuses. .
149
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,667
Well, the truth is,
due to the building codes
150
00:06:46,701 --> 00:06:49,334
and the way the chandeliers
are hung in the ballroom,
151
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,934
they're only allowing a
certain number of guests in
152
00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:53,200
with your... Height. .
153
00:06:53,234 --> 00:06:55,901
Well, can't get around safety. .
154
00:06:55,934 --> 00:06:57,601
Thanks anyway, buddy. .
155
00:07:31,334 --> 00:07:32,801
Hey, Charlie,
156
00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:35,734
I think we're gonna head over
to house of noise now. .
157
00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:37,133
Is it open this late? .
158
00:07:37,167 --> 00:07:39,100
Are you kidding?
Things at house of noise
159
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:41,801
don't even get started
till 1:00.
160
00:07:41,834 --> 00:07:44,267
Charlie, you were right.
This is really fun. .
161
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:46,501
Oh, you don't have to tell me.
162
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,067
I've been doing this...
12 nights in a row.
163
00:07:50,934 --> 00:07:52,801
I've got kamikaze shots. .
164
00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:53,834
Yeah! .
165
00:07:53,868 --> 00:07:54,834
Yeah! .
166
00:07:54,868 --> 00:07:55,834
Yeah!
167
00:07:55,868 --> 00:07:58,901
Yeah. .
168
00:07:58,934 --> 00:08:00,234
On the count of 3...
169
00:08:00,267 --> 00:08:01,801
1, 2, 3.
170
00:08:07,901 --> 00:08:10,033
Ah.
171
00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:11,834
I'm going to go crowd surf. .
172
00:08:11,868 --> 00:08:13,200
All right. .
173
00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:18,133
Incoming!
174
00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:20,801
Whoo! Yeah!
175
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,100
Whoo-hoo! Whoo!
176
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:24,934
Charlie, this is not fun. .
177
00:08:24,968 --> 00:08:27,200
Just admit you'd rather be
at home sleeping right now. .
178
00:08:27,234 --> 00:08:30,334
And miss partying
with my woman? No way. .
179
00:08:30,367 --> 00:08:32,267
It's so loud you can't even
talk to your woman. .
180
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:35,501
Say these words.
"I'd rather be in bed." .
181
00:08:35,534 --> 00:08:38,300
Would a guy
who'd rather be in bed do this? .
182
00:08:41,734 --> 00:08:44,000
Incoming!
183
00:09:04,234 --> 00:09:05,534
Carter.
184
00:09:05,567 --> 00:09:08,734
I'm ready to go
mingle with the gays. .
185
00:09:08,767 --> 00:09:10,501
Any tips for me? .
186
00:09:10,534 --> 00:09:12,634
Okay, tip number one...
187
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:15,534
don't use the term "the gays." .
188
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:17,567
Sir, you're a very witty
and interesting man. .
189
00:09:17,601 --> 00:09:19,734
Just be yourself. I'm sure
you'll charm their pants off.
190
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:23,567
I don't want their pants off. .
191
00:09:23,601 --> 00:09:26,367
Hey. So, you making any headway
with Martin? .
192
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,934
It's going well,
but every time I get on a roll,
193
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,033
his friend interrupts. .
194
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:33,067
Do me a favor.
Strike up a conversation
195
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,767
with the friend
so he's out of my way. .
196
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:37,701
Are you asking me
to be your gay wingman? .
197
00:09:37,734 --> 00:09:40,267
Can we not point out the depth
to which I'm sinking? .
198
00:09:40,300 --> 00:09:41,868
Look, I wouldn't know
what to say. .
199
00:09:41,901 --> 00:09:43,534
Just talk to them
like you talk to me.
200
00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:45,300
I'm gay. You've lived
with me for six years. .
201
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,434
All right, I'll try it. .
202
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:54,300
Hi. I'm Stuart.
203
00:09:54,334 --> 00:09:55,734
Martin. .
204
00:09:55,767 --> 00:09:57,033
Some turnout, huh? .
205
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:59,934
Oh, yes, we had over 200 rsvps. .
206
00:09:59,968 --> 00:10:02,267
Wow. What did you do,
207
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:05,701
tell them you were going
to raffle off a pink miata?
208
00:10:14,501 --> 00:10:16,100
So... .
209
00:10:16,133 --> 00:10:18,033
You're having fun? .
210
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,534
A blast. .
211
00:10:19,567 --> 00:10:21,267
How much longer
do you think it'll be? .
212
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,067
Not long. .
213
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:32,701
That's cool,
214
00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:34,934
'cause things don't even
get started here until 2:00.
215
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,834
Tracy, I've had a great time,
216
00:10:36,868 --> 00:10:38,434
but I think I'm going
to head home.
217
00:10:38,467 --> 00:10:39,734
I'm glad you came out.
218
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:42,100
I'm heading home.
Want to share a cab? .
219
00:10:42,133 --> 00:10:44,200
And miss hearing
more techno remixes
220
00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:46,734
of last year's Latin hits? .
221
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,100
Not a chance.
222
00:10:48,133 --> 00:10:50,934
Charlie, your lips are blue. .
223
00:10:50,968 --> 00:10:53,334
Blue with fun. .
224
00:10:53,367 --> 00:10:56,467
Besides, things here don't even
get started until 2:00. .
225
00:10:56,501 --> 00:10:58,167
You heard bungee. .
226
00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:02,968
Fine. Knock yourself out. .
227
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,300
Hey, Charlie. Hey, Paul. .
228
00:11:04,334 --> 00:11:05,834
Where have you been?
229
00:11:05,868 --> 00:11:07,567
I stood on the wrong line
for six hours. .
230
00:11:07,601 --> 00:11:09,033
Long story short,
231
00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:12,434
who's up for "lord of the dance"
next Tuesday? .
232
00:11:12,467 --> 00:11:15,200
Hey, since we're going
to be here for a while,
233
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:17,167
why don't we spark it up? .
234
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,367
Give me that. .
235
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,467
Relax. Charlie,
it's just a joint. .
236
00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:24,968
Yeah, well, it happens
to be a controlled substance. .
237
00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:26,334
Hey, guys, news flash...
238
00:11:26,367 --> 00:11:28,133
I'm the deputy mayor.
239
00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:31,000
I can't be seen
with this stuff. .
240
00:11:31,033 --> 00:11:33,000
MaN: You there
with the sideburns... .
241
00:11:33,033 --> 00:11:36,033
Put your hands in the air. .
242
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:38,901
Just the old guy. .
243
00:11:51,367 --> 00:11:53,767
All right,
what's going on here? .
244
00:11:53,801 --> 00:11:55,801
Hi. Charlie Crawford,
deputy mayor.
245
00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:57,834
I go to various nightclubs
around town
246
00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:59,701
teaching kids
that drugs are bad. .
247
00:11:59,734 --> 00:12:01,100
Is that right? .
248
00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:03,100
Yeah. Let me just
wrap up this seminar. .
249
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:04,767
Kids... .
250
00:12:04,801 --> 00:12:07,767
Drugs are bad. .
251
00:12:07,801 --> 00:12:12,067
Thanks, mister.
We've learned our lesson. .
252
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,534
Hey, you wouldn't mind if I took a
look in his backpack, would you? .
253
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,834
Sure. We got nothing to hide. .
254
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,868
Okay, part two
of our seminar...
255
00:12:26,901 --> 00:12:30,901
introduction to the inside
of a squad car. .
256
00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:40,868
The first lady says, "you've
seen one, you've seen them all." .
257
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:43,567
The second lady says, "yeah, but
this one's eating my popcorn."
258
00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:47,801
Hey. .
259
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,267
If you were
a "sex and the city" character,
260
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:53,400
which one would you be?
I'm definitely Miranda.
261
00:12:53,434 --> 00:12:56,200
I'm Charlotte. I'm so Carrie. .
262
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,834
As Carter was talking,
I had to wonder...
263
00:12:58,868 --> 00:13:01,667
could these three guys
be any gayer? .
264
00:13:02,901 --> 00:13:03,868
Heh heh. .
265
00:13:03,901 --> 00:13:05,868
Hey, siegfried,
266
00:13:05,901 --> 00:13:07,334
I hate to tear you
away from Roy,
267
00:13:07,367 --> 00:13:08,834
but you want to skip over
to the bar
268
00:13:08,868 --> 00:13:11,367
and pick up something fruity,
or maybe a drink?
269
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,667
I love this guy.
270
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:18,901
Carter. .
271
00:13:18,934 --> 00:13:19,901
Uh...
272
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:21,033
I was, uh,
273
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,734
waiting for the two of us
to be alone.
274
00:13:22,767 --> 00:13:24,334
I had a feeling. .
275
00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:26,334
There's something
that I want to ask you. .
276
00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:28,300
There's, uh, something
I want to ask you, too,
277
00:13:28,334 --> 00:13:29,334
but you first. .
278
00:13:29,367 --> 00:13:30,567
Okay. .
279
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,000
Um, is Stuart seeing anyone?
280
00:13:33,033 --> 00:13:35,267
I would love to. What? .
281
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:37,868
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are the two of you an item? .
282
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:38,901
No. .
283
00:13:38,934 --> 00:13:40,434
It's just... .
284
00:13:40,467 --> 00:13:42,901
His honesty is so refreshing. .
285
00:13:42,934 --> 00:13:45,701
He's delightfully vulgar. .
286
00:13:45,734 --> 00:13:47,868
He's unlike any gay man
I've ever met. .
287
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:50,100
That's truer than you know. .
288
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:52,534
Would you let him know
I'm interested,
289
00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:54,033
be my wingman? .
290
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:57,400
Yeah. Why not? .
291
00:13:57,434 --> 00:13:59,567
So, what's your
favorite musical?
292
00:13:59,601 --> 00:14:01,334
I hate musicals. .
293
00:14:01,367 --> 00:14:03,467
Good one, stuey. .
294
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,701
Ha ha ha ha ha ha! .
295
00:14:05,734 --> 00:14:08,400
Hey, who's the wingman
of the year? .
296
00:14:08,434 --> 00:14:10,033
You idiot.
297
00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,267
Martin wants you. .
298
00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:13,501
He finds your vulgarity
refreshing. .
299
00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:16,133
Finally, someone gets me. .
300
00:14:16,167 --> 00:14:17,834
This is serious. .
301
00:14:17,868 --> 00:14:19,334
He asked me to come over here
and set you up with him. .
302
00:14:19,367 --> 00:14:21,267
Ha ha ha. .
303
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:22,300
What's so funny?
304
00:14:22,334 --> 00:14:24,734
♪ he likes me better than you ♪
305
00:14:24,767 --> 00:14:27,634
what's the big deal?
306
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,434
I'll just tell him I'm not gay. .
307
00:14:29,467 --> 00:14:32,100
You can't tell him you're straight.
That would only humiliate him. .
308
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:33,567
Hey, what's going on?
309
00:14:33,601 --> 00:14:35,100
Martin has the hots for Stuart. .
310
00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:38,334
Hey, congratulations, buddy. .
311
00:14:38,367 --> 00:14:39,801
Look, I'll just leave. .
312
00:14:39,834 --> 00:14:41,000
Whoa, no, no, no. .
313
00:14:41,033 --> 00:14:43,067
You can't leave.
That would be rude.
314
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:44,801
Martin Davis is
a very important man.
315
00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:46,667
I can't risk offending him. .
316
00:14:46,701 --> 00:14:47,934
Sir, what are you saying? .
317
00:14:47,968 --> 00:14:49,801
Well, I'm saying
you led him on,
318
00:14:49,834 --> 00:14:52,501
he fell for you,
find a way to make it work. .
319
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:58,968
Maybe we're overreacting.
Maybe he's not that into me.
320
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,701
Stuart, I just requested
a slow song. .
321
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:05,000
Would you care to join me
out on the dance floor? .
322
00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:22,801
Okay, guys, wake up.
323
00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:23,968
I talked to the police. .
324
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,133
They're going to let you
all off the hook
325
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:29,000
'cause this is a first-time offense,
but it's going to be on your record. .
326
00:15:29,033 --> 00:15:33,033
And you... your father and I
are very disappointed,
327
00:15:33,067 --> 00:15:35,300
so take a good look
at your friends,
328
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,367
because you are grounded,
mister.
329
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,300
I don't need this right now. .
330
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:40,968
Look, if it makes you
feel any better,
331
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,534
I couldn't handle
last night, either,
332
00:15:42,567 --> 00:15:43,834
especially all those shots. .
333
00:15:43,868 --> 00:15:46,000
Those were brutal going down.
334
00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:48,133
I was throwing them
over my shoulder. .
335
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,667
Me too. .
336
00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:51,767
Are you finally ready
to start acting
337
00:15:51,801 --> 00:15:53,734
like a normal guy your age? .
338
00:15:53,767 --> 00:15:57,133
No, because
I'm not a normal guy.
339
00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:58,501
I'm the wild guy,
340
00:15:58,534 --> 00:16:00,701
the fun guy,
the guy who's up for anything.
341
00:16:00,734 --> 00:16:03,834
I'm not accepting this.
342
00:16:03,868 --> 00:16:05,308
I am the same guy
I've always been,
343
00:16:05,334 --> 00:16:07,067
and that's never
going to change.
344
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,968
Charlie, it has changed. .
345
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,167
You have to accept that
you're not a kid anymore.
346
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,434
I don't believe that. .
347
00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:15,000
Hey, Charlie, it's only 5:00. .
348
00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:18,701
We could still make it to Jack's
for a rock-'n'-roll breakfast. .
349
00:16:18,734 --> 00:16:21,033
At Jack's, breakfast doesn't
even start till...
350
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,901
stop saying that.
351
00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:24,601
I'll tell you what's started.
352
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:27,334
Tuesday, five hours ago. .
353
00:16:27,367 --> 00:16:29,300
What is wrong with you?
354
00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:31,434
I thought you liked to party. .
355
00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:34,100
Yes, Tracy, I liked to party. .
356
00:16:34,133 --> 00:16:35,834
In fact, I partied for so long
357
00:16:35,868 --> 00:16:38,367
that now, I like to sleep. .
358
00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,801
The thing is,
I've done all this.
359
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,901
I've bar hopped,
I've crowd surfed,
360
00:16:44,934 --> 00:16:47,734
I've partied all night long. .
361
00:16:47,767 --> 00:16:50,400
And you want to know what a real
rock-'n'-roll breakfast is? .
362
00:16:50,434 --> 00:16:53,434
A shot and an egg
with Keith Richards. .
363
00:16:53,467 --> 00:16:55,434
Who's Keith Richards? .
364
00:16:55,467 --> 00:16:57,634
Oh, God. .
365
00:16:57,667 --> 00:16:59,667
You're right.
366
00:16:59,701 --> 00:17:02,801
I'm 1,000 years old. .
367
00:17:11,667 --> 00:17:12,701
I can't believe it. .
368
00:17:12,734 --> 00:17:14,000
Oh, me either. .
369
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,934
They're like a regular
Fred Astaire and...
370
00:17:16,968 --> 00:17:18,834
Fred Astaire. .
371
00:17:18,868 --> 00:17:20,601
The problem is,
sooner or later, .
372
00:17:20,634 --> 00:17:21,901
Martin's going to figure out
373
00:17:21,934 --> 00:17:23,300
that Stuart's not gay. .
374
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,901
Not necessarily.
He can string him along
375
00:17:25,934 --> 00:17:28,167
for a couple of years
without sex. .
376
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,601
Worked for my ex-wife.
377
00:17:29,634 --> 00:17:31,701
I know what to do.
378
00:17:31,734 --> 00:17:32,801
I'll go over there
and ask to cut in,
379
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,667
and when I'm dancing
with Martin,
380
00:17:34,701 --> 00:17:35,968
I'll turn on
the old Heywood charm
381
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,480
and steal that man
away from Stuart. .
382
00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:44,901
Ah, the best damn party
I've been to in months. .
383
00:17:46,634 --> 00:17:48,801
Excuse me. May I cut in? .
384
00:17:49,968 --> 00:17:55,200
Okay. .
385
00:17:55,234 --> 00:17:57,033
What the hell are you doing?
386
00:17:57,067 --> 00:17:59,167
I don't know. I thought
you came to save me.
387
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:01,734
I did, by dancing with Martin. .
388
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:04,801
It's not my fault if I get
Martin's engine running. .
389
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,834
Oh, please. .
390
00:18:06,868 --> 00:18:08,567
You might be good
for a one-night stand,
391
00:18:08,601 --> 00:18:10,801
but you could never hold on
to a man like that.
392
00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,901
Carter, calm down. .
393
00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:15,367
Why are you getting so crazy
about one guy?
394
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,067
'Cause I haven't
met anybody in a long time,
395
00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,501
and when I finally do,
you screw it up.
396
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:21,934
I'm sorry. .
397
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,033
But you got
nothing to worry about. .
398
00:18:24,067 --> 00:18:25,434
You're a catch. .
399
00:18:25,467 --> 00:18:27,200
Oh, you're just saying that. .
400
00:18:27,234 --> 00:18:29,000
Oh, hey, look at me.
401
00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:31,300
I could get any guy here... .
402
00:18:31,334 --> 00:18:33,767
And I'm dancing with you.
403
00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:45,534
I'm sorry things didn't
work out for you and Tracy. .
404
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:46,667
That's okay. .
405
00:18:46,701 --> 00:18:48,968
It wasn't going
to last, anyway. .
406
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,100
She just got cast
on "the real world Chicago." .
407
00:18:52,133 --> 00:18:54,234
It's probably for the best.
408
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,501
I guess. .
409
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,167
Whenever we went out,
Tracy would have a blast,
410
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,167
and I just wanted to go home
and watch "sportscenter." .
411
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,467
That's never happened
412
00:19:02,501 --> 00:19:05,367
in my 20 years
of dating 23-year-olds. .
413
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,968
You know, Charlie,
414
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,300
just 'cause you don't want
to stay out till dawn
415
00:19:09,334 --> 00:19:11,501
doesn't mean you don't know
how to have fun. .
416
00:19:11,534 --> 00:19:12,901
You're right.
417
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,734
I shouldn't be
so hard on myself.
418
00:19:14,767 --> 00:19:18,300
I'm basically the same hip,
cool guy I've always been. .
419
00:19:18,334 --> 00:19:20,901
G-46.
420
00:19:20,934 --> 00:19:24,000
Bingo.
421
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:54,901
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
422
00:19:54,934 --> 00:19:56,734
.
423
00:19:56,767 --> 00:19:59,234
Moo.
30632
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof