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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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It was nice meeting you.
2
00:00:02,934 --> 00:00:05,300
Thanks for keeping me company
while I was waiting. .
3
00:00:05,334 --> 00:00:07,901
Well, hey, I'm the deputy
mayor, you're a taxpayer. .
4
00:00:07,934 --> 00:00:10,434
It's my job to make sure
you have everything you need. .
5
00:00:10,467 --> 00:00:13,400
Actually, I don't pay taxes
here. I'm from Kansas. .
6
00:00:13,434 --> 00:00:17,367
Even better... a tourist. .
7
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:19,300
It's also my job
to make sure our guests
8
00:00:19,334 --> 00:00:21,100
have a pleasurable stay
in the city. .
9
00:00:21,133 --> 00:00:23,000
The revenue generated
by tourism is...
10
00:00:23,033 --> 00:00:24,367
do you want my phone number? .
11
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,200
That would be great. .
12
00:00:27,234 --> 00:00:30,167
Look, it's your first time
in the city. .
13
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Maybe we could go to dinner
or see a play or... .
14
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,367
We could do that.
15
00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,267
I've got to go. Call me.
16
00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:40,901
I just met the coolest gal. .
17
00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:43,834
We spent 20 minutes together.
She is so into me. .
18
00:00:43,868 --> 00:00:45,400
You have such a big head. .
19
00:00:45,434 --> 00:00:47,701
What makes you think
she likes you? .
20
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:49,834
Wow.
21
00:00:49,868 --> 00:00:52,701
I think she spelled it wrong.
22
00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:54,534
I'm going to call her
now and ask her out. .
23
00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:56,901
You were just with her.
Why didn't you do it then? .
24
00:00:56,934 --> 00:00:59,100
Didn't want to seem desperate.
25
00:00:59,133 --> 00:01:02,801
Charlie, Caitlin, I want you
to meet my niece Stephanie. .
26
00:01:04,634 --> 00:01:06,100
You're the mayor's niece? .
27
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,100
Have you met?
28
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No. .
29
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Hello? .
30
00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:16,100
Who is this?
31
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Wrong number. .
32
00:01:51,033 --> 00:01:53,901
I can't believe she didn't tell
me she was the mayor's niece. .
33
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Well, you better keep away
from her. .
34
00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,501
The mayor is very protective. .
35
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:59,367
Ladies and gentleman,
your attention. .
36
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:02,167
After months of waiting,
my 3/4-length
37
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:05,234
leather designer coat
has finally arrived. .
38
00:02:11,067 --> 00:02:14,234
Of course I'm going
to keep away from her. .
39
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:17,901
You think 'cause she's a young hot
attractive babe, I can't be trusted? .
40
00:02:17,934 --> 00:02:22,000
I-I'm sorry. Did you
expect an answer to that? .
41
00:02:22,033 --> 00:02:25,467
Hey, hey,
this coat cost $1,200.
42
00:02:25,501 --> 00:02:27,200
I was on an 8-month
waiting list. .
43
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,901
Seems like a waste of time and
money for a piece of clothing. .
44
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That is a fabulous
jacket. I'm Eric. .
45
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Oh. Carter. .
46
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This is why you're stuck
sleeping with women. .
47
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Hey, guys, guess what.
48
00:02:41,968 --> 00:02:45,801
I'm going to be on that
TV show "blind date." .
49
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:47,334
Isn't "blind date" that show
50
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:49,901
where they find a sexy girl
and film her on a date
51
00:02:49,934 --> 00:02:51,167
with some desperate guy
52
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,200
who makes a complete
fool of himself? .
53
00:02:53,234 --> 00:02:55,167
Yes, it is. .
54
00:02:56,234 --> 00:02:57,801
Why would you do that, Paul?
55
00:02:57,834 --> 00:03:00,200
I might meet somebody special,
and even if I don't,
56
00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:04,167
going on television is a great way
to advertise the merchandise. .
57
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,834
Oh, Charlie, Carter and I
are going to Philadelphia
58
00:03:08,868 --> 00:03:11,400
for tonight's
mayor's conference,
59
00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:15,067
and I'm not taking the limo.
I'm driving myself. .
60
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:18,000
Great idea, sir. So you can
show those other pampered mayors
61
00:03:18,033 --> 00:03:20,834
that you're a no-frills
down-to-earth man of the people. .
62
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:24,467
That, and I want to show off
my brand-new corvette. .
63
00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:28,200
Look, I have a big favor
to ask of you.
64
00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:30,734
I need someone to stop by
the mansion tonight
65
00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:32,968
and check in
on my niece Stephanie. .
66
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,501
It's her first night
in the city,
67
00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:36,334
and I guess I'm being
overprotective.
68
00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:38,667
I have no plans, sir.
I'm sorry to hear that.
69
00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:41,200
Caitlin, can you
do this for me? .
70
00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:42,367
No problem. .
71
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,367
No drinking,
72
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:44,601
no parties, no guys.
73
00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:46,734
I've got it under control, sir. .
74
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,834
Thank you. .
75
00:03:48,868 --> 00:03:50,734
So, Charlie...
76
00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:52,400
what's that on your hand? .
77
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:56,067
Uh, it's my lunch order. .
78
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:58,734
Oh, sounds good.
I'll have that, too. .
79
00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:07,000
Hey, Charlie. Come here.
Yeah, Paul, what's up? .
80
00:04:07,033 --> 00:04:08,734
The crew
from "blind date" is here. .
81
00:04:08,767 --> 00:04:12,000
We're about to film the part where I
meet the girl. I'm a little nervous. .
82
00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:14,100
Shouldn't you be nervous
telling your boss
83
00:04:14,133 --> 00:04:17,000
you're filming a TV show in
city hall during work hours? .
84
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:19,133
No, I'm fine with that.
I'm just...
85
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:22,334
I'm worried about the date.
Can you give me any advice? .
86
00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:24,467
Keep your cards close
to the vest. .
87
00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:25,868
Don't appear too eager. .
88
00:04:25,901 --> 00:04:27,834
Don't appear too eager. .
89
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,367
Okay, okay,
yeah, thanks, buddy. .
90
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,267
Action. .
91
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:35,634
Hi.
92
00:04:35,667 --> 00:04:37,868
I'm Ashley. .
93
00:04:37,901 --> 00:04:43,000
You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen in my entire life. .
94
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:47,300
Brand-new corvette coupe.
95
00:04:47,334 --> 00:04:48,501
$46,000.
96
00:04:48,534 --> 00:04:50,534
It's a beautiful car, sir. .
97
00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:51,901
You should get one. .
98
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,801
Maybe I will... In nine years,
99
00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:56,467
after I finish
paying off this jacket.
100
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,267
Uh, careful, sir,
101
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,400
there's some construction
ahead of us. .
102
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,200
Oh, I gotcha. I'll back up. .
103
00:05:06,234 --> 00:05:07,234
Reverse is over...
104
00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:09,868
Down... And up.
105
00:05:11,868 --> 00:05:13,801
There we go. .
106
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:29,200
Don't worry, Carol.
I'll still make the movie. .
107
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:32,601
It's just that I promised the
mayor I'd check up on his niece. .
108
00:05:32,634 --> 00:05:35,000
Yeah, she's this young girl
visiting from Kansas,
109
00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:36,834
and so we'll just eat
some ice cream,
110
00:05:36,868 --> 00:05:40,467
do a little girl talk, I'll be
out of there in 20 minutes.
111
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I'll call you back. .
112
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Thanks for coming.
I really appreciate it. .
113
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No problem. .
114
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,968
All right, everyone, listen up. .
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The party's over. .
116
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You... put down that drink. .
117
00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:02,601
You... get off of that girl. .
118
00:06:02,634 --> 00:06:04,534
You... stop pumping that keg. .
119
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:06,934
You're getting too much foam. .
120
00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:08,934
What are you doing?
I just met these people
121
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:11,234
at a bar. I invited them
here to have a good time. .
122
00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:14,267
Your Uncle would be disappointed
if he knew you're having a party. .
123
00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:17,200
You're right.
I've been a bad girl. .
124
00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:18,901
Do you like bad girls? .
125
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:22,501
Your turn.
126
00:06:22,534 --> 00:06:25,067
Stephanie, this is the home
of the mayor of New York. .
127
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,801
You can't bring people
over here just to impress them. .
128
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:31,133
Anyway, it's not much... .
129
00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:34,234
But I call it home. .
130
00:06:39,801 --> 00:06:42,701
We've been trapped here
for nearly three hours. .
131
00:06:42,734 --> 00:06:45,601
Good God, we're going
to suffocate down here!
132
00:06:45,634 --> 00:06:49,467
Carter, Carter, Carter,
we've got plenty of air. .
133
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:51,467
What we should worry
about is a gas leak. .
134
00:06:51,501 --> 00:06:55,400
You know,
if we ruptured a pipe,
135
00:06:55,434 --> 00:07:00,434
the smallest spark could
trigger an enormous explosion. .
136
00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:03,334
We're going to die. .
137
00:07:03,367 --> 00:07:07,801
This morning, all I could
think about was this coat. .
138
00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:10,834
Now it all seems
so meaningless. .
139
00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:14,834
God, forgive me
for being so superficial. .
140
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,234
If you get me out of here,
141
00:07:17,267 --> 00:07:20,334
I promise to stop being
so materialistic...
142
00:07:20,367 --> 00:07:23,300
Carter! Are you making
a pact with God? .
143
00:07:23,334 --> 00:07:25,033
Yes, I am.
144
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:27,701
I want a piece of
that action. Dear God...
145
00:07:27,734 --> 00:07:31,834
hey, hey, I'm mid-pact here.
Let me finish. .
146
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,000
And I promise I'll give away
147
00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:36,434
all my top-name
designer clothes
148
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:39,133
and live more humbly. .
149
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,067
Amen. .
150
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,167
God, if you get me
out of here alive,
151
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,534
I will make it my goal... .
152
00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:46,000
Hang tight, guys! .
153
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,834
We'll have you
out of there in a minute. .
154
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:50,234
Oh! Ha ha ha ha! .
155
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,234
Whew, that was a close one! .
156
00:07:52,267 --> 00:07:54,734
Ha ha ha ha! .
157
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:58,133
So, what is this jacket,
a 46-long? .
158
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,634
These half-full beer cans
are making me sick.
159
00:08:02,667 --> 00:08:05,067
I know. What's wrong
with these kids? .
160
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,834
In my day, you opened
a beer, you finished it. .
161
00:08:07,868 --> 00:08:10,000
Where's Stephanie? .
162
00:08:10,033 --> 00:08:12,834
She wasn't feeling well. She
went to the bedroom to lie down. .
163
00:08:12,868 --> 00:08:14,834
Charlie,
I don't feel good. .
164
00:08:14,868 --> 00:08:16,501
Can you bring me
a glass of water? .
165
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:17,968
Yeah.
166
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,734
Stephanie?
167
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,834
I knew that would work.
168
00:08:24,868 --> 00:08:27,267
I can't believe
I fell for the old
169
00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:30,067
"pretend to be sick,
put on a sexy robe,
170
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:32,868
"and try to have sex
with Charlie" trick. .
171
00:08:32,901 --> 00:08:35,133
Why have you been avoiding me? .
172
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:38,534
Among other things, your Uncle is my boss.
Why didn't you tell me? .
173
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,767
Because I knew
it would scare you off.
174
00:08:40,801 --> 00:08:43,100
I thought that enticing you
with my body
175
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:45,367
was the best way
to get your attention. .
176
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:48,434
Well, obviously,
you've done your homework.
177
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,868
Stephanie, I'm sorry. .
178
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:57,000
But this is never
going to happen.
179
00:08:57,033 --> 00:08:59,734
I guess I did get
a little carried away.
180
00:08:59,767 --> 00:09:02,934
I've just never met
a guy like you. .
181
00:09:02,968 --> 00:09:04,400
But if you feel that strongly,
182
00:09:04,434 --> 00:09:06,534
I won't have sex with you.
183
00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:10,601
I win, yet the victory
seems so hollow. .
184
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:13,934
The mayor's home. I got
to get rid of these beer cans. .
185
00:09:13,968 --> 00:09:16,968
What the hell is going on in here?
Nothing. .
186
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,634
Are you in the bedroom? .
187
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,434
Oh, my God.
Hide in the bathroom. .
188
00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,300
Wait,
there's no reason to panic. .
189
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:24,667
When the mayor comes in,
all he'll see
190
00:09:24,701 --> 00:09:27,133
is candles, champagne,
his niece in a robe, me... .
191
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,300
Hide!
192
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:40,767
Stephanie?
193
00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:44,167
Charlie, what are you doing
in my bedroom? .
194
00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,968
You've been away
on a long business trip.
195
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,434
I thought I'd lay out
some candles... .
196
00:09:49,467 --> 00:09:53,133
And rose petals. .
197
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,334
Where's Stephanie?
198
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:58,334
Who's in there?
199
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,934
I can't believe this, Charlie! .
200
00:09:59,968 --> 00:10:01,501
You're in here with my niece! .
201
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:03,701
No, I can explain this. .
202
00:10:05,968 --> 00:10:08,467
He's with me. .
203
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,567
I can't believe I actually
lied to the mayor. .
204
00:10:19,601 --> 00:10:22,634
This kind of thing never
happened to me before I met you. .
205
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,100
Hey, I only went over there
to help you out,
206
00:10:25,133 --> 00:10:26,868
and I didn't do anything wrong. .
207
00:10:26,901 --> 00:10:29,033
You think because
I've screwed up in the past
208
00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:31,234
over and over and over
209
00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:34,300
that I'm just going to
automatically accept the blame?
210
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,267
I was hoping. .
211
00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:39,000
This is crazy. Maybe I should
tell the mayor the truth. .
212
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:41,033
Why wouldn't he believe it?
213
00:10:41,067 --> 00:10:43,901
Charlie, I was there. I saw you
not have sex with Stephanie,
214
00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:47,033
andstill have my doubts. .
215
00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:48,801
Let's just stay with the story. .
216
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,534
We're a couple, lovey-dovey... .
217
00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:53,701
In a couple of weeks,
I'll break up with you. .
218
00:10:53,734 --> 00:10:56,934
Fine, but I'm breaking up
with you. .
219
00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:59,167
Except there's one thing.
I'm a terrible liar. .
220
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,133
The mayor thinks that
we slept together. .
221
00:11:01,167 --> 00:11:03,133
How am I going
to make that believable? .
222
00:11:03,167 --> 00:11:05,567
Are you familiar
with method acting?
223
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,567
I am serious.
I've never been able
224
00:11:09,601 --> 00:11:11,834
to be dishonest
to people I'm close with.
225
00:11:11,868 --> 00:11:13,601
I've been thinking
about last night,
226
00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:15,200
a few things
don't line up for me.
227
00:11:15,234 --> 00:11:17,300
I want you to come
to my office this afternoon. .
228
00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:19,400
That... that will be
a little tough for me.
229
00:11:19,434 --> 00:11:20,567
I'm booked solid. .
230
00:11:20,601 --> 00:11:21,767
No, you're not. .
231
00:11:21,801 --> 00:11:24,400
You're right.
I'm completely free. .
232
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:28,367
It's hard to see
how this could go well.
233
00:11:34,501 --> 00:11:37,000
Carter, what is with that suit? .
234
00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:39,667
What, it's not so bad.
235
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:41,434
Charlie, what do you think?
236
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,167
I think that somewhere
237
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,467
there's a guy teaching
driver's ed. Naked. .
238
00:11:46,501 --> 00:11:51,567
The days of the self-indulgent,
style-obsessed Carter Heywood are over.
239
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,701
I have straightened out
my priorities. .
240
00:11:53,734 --> 00:11:56,400
This entire outfit
cost a very reasonable
241
00:11:56,434 --> 00:11:57,968
$35.
242
00:11:58,033 --> 00:11:59,901
Carter, this isn't you. .
243
00:11:59,934 --> 00:12:01,267
Oh, but you're wrong. .
244
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:03,701
My new wardrobe makes
my life so much easier. .
245
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:06,801
This morning, there were
no seats on the subway.
246
00:12:06,834 --> 00:12:08,734
I just sat on the floor.
247
00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,868
Carter, this is ridiculous. .
248
00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:13,334
Look, you have
a big stain here. .
249
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:14,868
This is not a stain.
250
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,234
I think your suit is leaking. .
251
00:12:17,267 --> 00:12:20,200
How are you, Caitlin? .
252
00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:22,701
My, aren't we looking
lovely this morning?
253
00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:24,701
I take it
the blind date went well. .
254
00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:27,367
Yes, it did. All that's left
is the final interview,
255
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,767
where they ask me if I want
to take out Ashley again. .
256
00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:33,267
What are you going to say?
I'm going to say yes. .
257
00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,567
The old Paul would have
overthought the thing. .
258
00:12:35,601 --> 00:12:37,234
Now I'm just going
to go with it. .
259
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:39,934
That's great. Hopefully,
she'll want to go out again. .
260
00:12:42,100 --> 00:12:43,934
What do you mean "hopefully"?
261
00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:46,167
I mean, I hope she'll feel
the same way you do. .
262
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,400
Oh, my God. What if
I said yes to a date,
263
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:53,133
and she says no
just to make a fool out of me? .
264
00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,834
What if Ashley was pretending
to have a good time
265
00:12:55,868 --> 00:12:59,133
when she was just setting me up
to humiliate me on television?
266
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:00,601
I'm sure she wouldn't do that. .
267
00:13:00,634 --> 00:13:02,000
Don't you defend her. .
268
00:13:02,033 --> 00:13:03,534
You women, you're all alike.
269
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:06,234
I'll bet... I'll bet you
and Ashley are in cahoots! .
270
00:13:06,267 --> 00:13:07,601
We are not! .
271
00:13:07,634 --> 00:13:10,300
Cahoots! .
272
00:13:12,901 --> 00:13:14,801
All right,
let's cut to the chase.
273
00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:16,934
I find your story
from the other night
274
00:13:16,968 --> 00:13:19,634
to be a bit spurious. .
275
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:28,234
Yes. Spurious. .
276
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:34,300
Now, you say you came to the
mansion to check up on Stephanie,
277
00:13:34,334 --> 00:13:35,767
and she was asleep in her room. .
278
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,868
That's correct. I say that. .
279
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,601
But how did the two of you
end up in my bedroom? .
280
00:13:43,634 --> 00:13:46,100
Well, I went there
to work on the fall budget,
281
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:47,634
but it didn't take long
282
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:51,000
before Caitlin
got that look in her eye.
283
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:55,534
I'm partly to blame, because I
was wearing a pair of levi's
284
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:58,400
that were fresh
out of the dryer.
285
00:13:58,434 --> 00:14:01,534
I don't want to put words
in your mouth, but... .
286
00:14:01,567 --> 00:14:06,033
Exactly how excited
were you by my jeans? .
287
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:09,133
Unfortunately,
once we got past the jeans,
288
00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:12,567
excitement turned
to awkward disappointment. .
289
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:15,801
But I don't want to put words
in your mouth. .
290
00:14:15,834 --> 00:14:19,067
Exactly how
disappointing were you? .
291
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,534
That... that's okay.
I'm satisfied. .
292
00:14:23,567 --> 00:14:26,367
That makes one of us. .
293
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,367
Uh, so the next question...
294
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,467
that's it. I can't
take this anymore. .
295
00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:35,000
The truth is,
I came to the mansion,
296
00:14:35,033 --> 00:14:36,968
Stephanie was having
a party, and...
297
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
wait. A party? .
298
00:14:38,033 --> 00:14:40,334
That's it, a party?
299
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:43,334
I thought you were covering
because Charlie and Stephanie
300
00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:45,334
were, you know,
mixed up together. .
301
00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,701
You thought that?
That is so funny! .
302
00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:49,534
Ha ha ha ha!
303
00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:53,501
Wrap it up. .
304
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:56,033
Okay. .
305
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:58,334
So that's why you made up
this fekokteh story
306
00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:00,100
about you two
sleeping together,
307
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,100
so that you could
protect Stephanie. .
308
00:15:02,133 --> 00:15:05,234
So that's the truth...
309
00:15:05,267 --> 00:15:07,334
Caitlin. .
310
00:15:07,367 --> 00:15:09,701
Yes. .
311
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,767
That's the truth.
312
00:15:11,801 --> 00:15:13,767
I did it!
All these years, I couldn't
313
00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:16,400
lie to people I cared about.
Oh, it's so freeing! .
314
00:15:16,434 --> 00:15:18,133
Oh, hey, Carter. .
315
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:20,634
You know, that suit
is really growing on me. .
316
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:22,100
Ha ha. Really? Thanks.
317
00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:24,767
I'm lying. It's hideous. .
318
00:15:24,801 --> 00:15:27,267
By the way, I want to apologize
319
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:29,000
for slamming you before. .
320
00:15:29,033 --> 00:15:32,934
The fact is, you really
do look great in those jeans. .
321
00:15:32,968 --> 00:15:34,834
Well, thanks. I am on fire! .
322
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,767
Ha ha! .
323
00:15:36,801 --> 00:15:39,667
Oh, I'm sorry. Come on, cheer up.
We got away with it.
324
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:43,133
I really appreciate
you helping me out,
325
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:44,734
but I can't leave it like this.
326
00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:47,033
I'm not the guy
he thinks I am,
327
00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:51,834
and he needs to know that.
328
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:54,400
Paul, I caught
your press conference. .
329
00:15:54,434 --> 00:15:56,000
It was riveting. .
330
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:57,667
Thanks, Caitlin.
331
00:16:34,167 --> 00:16:35,267
Hey, Eric. .
332
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:37,200
Hey...
333
00:16:37,234 --> 00:16:39,300
hey.
334
00:16:39,334 --> 00:16:42,033
I hate this jacket. .
335
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,634
This jacket... I hate it,
I hate it, I hate it!
336
00:16:44,667 --> 00:16:46,267
I hate it, I hate it,
I hate it. .
337
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,501
Whoa, whoa, Carter.
I've been there. .
338
00:16:48,534 --> 00:16:51,334
You might save a few bucks,
but in the long run,
339
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:54,000
you're going to wish
you took it to a tailor.
340
00:16:54,033 --> 00:16:57,100
Paul, I can't live like this.
341
00:16:57,133 --> 00:16:59,067
I need to be well-dressed. .
342
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,634
That's who I am. .
343
00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:02,767
So get your clothes back.
344
00:17:02,801 --> 00:17:04,534
It's not that easy.
345
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:06,367
I made a pact with God. .
346
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,901
If I renege on that, what kind
of person does that make me? .
347
00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:11,968
You spend every waking hour
helping people. .
348
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,934
Who was it who convinced
the mayor to give
349
00:17:13,968 --> 00:17:15,901
the extra funds
to the children's center? .
350
00:17:15,934 --> 00:17:18,434
Who plays chess every Saturday
351
00:17:18,467 --> 00:17:21,033
down at the retirement home? .
352
00:17:21,067 --> 00:17:24,567
Who painted my entire
apartment for free? .
353
00:17:24,601 --> 00:17:27,901
Free? You told me you were going
to introduce me to Bette midler. .
354
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:29,100
Right.
355
00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:31,067
I know her. .
356
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:33,934
Look, Carter, I may not know
a lot about religion,
357
00:17:33,968 --> 00:17:35,801
but I know the
kind of guy you are,
358
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:38,167
and I don't think
God is going to mind
359
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,934
if you wear some nice clothes. .
360
00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:42,567
You know, thanks, Paul. .
361
00:17:42,601 --> 00:17:45,834
Come on, Carter, let me buy you
a cup of hot chocolate, huh? .
362
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,834
So you're telling me, you were
in my bedroom with my niece,
363
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,634
and nothing happened. .
364
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:57,801
Come on, Charlie. I know
when you're hiding something. .
365
00:17:57,834 --> 00:18:01,801
It's like when you called in sick
that Monday after new year's Eve.
366
00:18:01,834 --> 00:18:04,968
I was here, sir.
You called in sick.
367
00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:08,167
I was lying. I had
to get that off my chest. .
368
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,067
If this were
about anything else,
369
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:12,033
I wouldn't doubt you
for a second,
370
00:18:12,067 --> 00:18:14,067
but given your past
with women...
371
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,934
I've been working here
for two years. .
372
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:17,968
Have I given you
a reason to mistrust me? .
373
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,400
No. But, come on,
are you telling me
374
00:18:20,434 --> 00:18:23,000
that you weren't attracted
to my niece?
375
00:18:23,033 --> 00:18:24,934
I was, but I didn't act on it
376
00:18:24,968 --> 00:18:27,000
because I would
never betray you,
377
00:18:27,033 --> 00:18:29,300
not for a woman,
not for anything. .
378
00:18:29,334 --> 00:18:33,334
So basically, I'm more
important to you than women?
379
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:39,901
I'd rather not think
of it that way, but... .
380
00:18:39,934 --> 00:18:41,734
But, yes. .
381
00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,801
Now, let me get this
straight...
382
00:18:43,834 --> 00:18:45,834
if Tyra banks were my sister,
383
00:18:45,868 --> 00:18:47,968
you wouldn't want
to sleep with her? .
384
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,400
No. .
385
00:18:49,434 --> 00:18:51,567
Okay. .
386
00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:56,501
You're at a beach
with Penelope Cruz,
387
00:18:56,534 --> 00:18:58,868
Cameron Diaz,
and Julia Roberts...
388
00:18:58,901 --> 00:19:01,467
don't push it. .
389
00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:04,300
Okay. .
390
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,300
Hi again, everybody,
I'm Roger lodge,
391
00:19:06,334 --> 00:19:08,067
and welcome to "blind date." .
392
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,267
Come on, everyone,
Paul's "blind date" is on. .
393
00:19:10,300 --> 00:19:12,033
Today's first date
is between Paul
394
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:14,868
who works as a press secretary
in New York City
395
00:19:14,901 --> 00:19:18,267
and Ashley,
an aspiring model/actress. .
396
00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:21,467
Now, Paul collects stamps,
Ashley is just hot. .
397
00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:22,968
Hey, hey! .
398
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,133
So let's see
how these two make out. .
399
00:19:26,467 --> 00:19:31,868
Have another one. It's on me. .
400
00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:34,567
This is going to be fun.
Hot tubs are sexy. .
401
00:19:34,601 --> 00:19:36,133
Well, yeah, I mean, you know,
402
00:19:36,167 --> 00:19:37,968
if you can get past the fact
403
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,667
that you're marinating
in a cesspool of germs. .
404
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:44,000
Come on, get in. .
405
00:19:44,033 --> 00:19:45,501
Is that a tattoo? .
406
00:19:45,534 --> 00:19:47,267
Yeah, I put on a temporary one.
407
00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:49,334
I thought it would
make me look tough. .
408
00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:53,000
A unicorn? .
409
00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:57,300
Were they out of snuggles
the fabric softener bear? .
410
00:19:57,334 --> 00:20:00,067
So let's take a look at what
Paul had to say about Ashley.
411
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:04,400
I had a great time with Ashley.
I would love to see her again. .
412
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:06,667
Wait, uh, I would not
like to see her again. .
413
00:20:06,701 --> 00:20:08,601
Uh, I would. I don't. .
414
00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:10,667
Um, okay, I can't decide. Um... .
415
00:20:10,701 --> 00:20:13,601
Okay, okay, okay.
416
00:20:13,634 --> 00:20:16,133
I would not like
to see her again.
417
00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:18,634
Paul, why'd you say that? .
418
00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:21,000
Preemptive strike.
This way, when she comes out
419
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:23,701
and says she doesn't like me,
I don't look like an idiot.
420
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:26,701
I think that ship sailed
at the hot dog stand. .
421
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:30,601
Now let's see
what Ashley thought.
422
00:20:30,634 --> 00:20:32,868
Paul was...
he was a little weird,
423
00:20:32,901 --> 00:20:36,167
but I would definitely
like to go out
424
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:38,267
on another date with him,
425
00:20:38,300 --> 00:20:41,767
you know, to...
to get to know him better. .
426
00:20:41,801 --> 00:20:44,701
If you know what I mean. .
427
00:20:49,234 --> 00:20:50,934
She liked me. .
428
00:20:50,968 --> 00:20:53,434
And I rejected her.
429
00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:58,100
I'm a stupid, stupid man. .
430
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:01,400
This time
on national television. .
431
00:21:05,501 --> 00:21:08,434
My name is Paul lassiter. I'm the
press secretary for the mayor
432
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,200
of the city of New York.
433
00:21:10,234 --> 00:21:13,801
I'm Ashley,
and I'm a model/actress.
434
00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:17,801
I like girls who, uh,
you know,
435
00:21:17,834 --> 00:21:20,367
make a dot with a little zero.
436
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,200
I looked like a fool. .
437
00:21:22,234 --> 00:21:24,167
You came across really well. .
438
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:26,067
In fact...
439
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:30,133
oh, even I can't pull this off.
440
00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:32,534
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
.
441
00:21:32,567 --> 00:21:35,033
Moo.
33285
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