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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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00:00:01,734 --> 00:00:03,634
Are you reading
the personals again?
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00:00:03,667 --> 00:00:07,033
Listen to this one...
"rubenesque, vivacious siren
3
00:00:07,067 --> 00:00:10,467
seeks gallant
emissary of passion." .
4
00:00:10,501 --> 00:00:13,734
Hmm, fat chick
bought a thesaurus. .
5
00:00:13,767 --> 00:00:15,534
Oh, my God. .
6
00:00:15,567 --> 00:00:18,200
She sounds so lame.
7
00:00:21,434 --> 00:00:23,267
You have a girlfriend, Stuart. .
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00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,267
Why are you reading
the personals? .
9
00:00:25,300 --> 00:00:27,400
Sometimes I just like
to call the woman
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00:00:27,434 --> 00:00:29,167
with the most pathetic ad
11
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,033
just to give her a ray of hope. .
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00:00:31,067 --> 00:00:34,367
And they gave Gandhi
the nobel prize. .
13
00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,367
Here we go.
"Gorgeous natural blonde, "
14
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,434
sexy and very single. .
15
00:00:39,467 --> 00:00:41,767
If you're a man, please call." .
16
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,434
I think we have a winner.
17
00:00:45,467 --> 00:00:47,367
Stuart, this is totally
immature. .
18
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,234
Put it on speakerphone.
19
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:53,200
I can't believe there are women
who are that desperate.
20
00:00:55,767 --> 00:00:57,701
Hello.
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00:00:57,734 --> 00:01:00,901
Caitlin?
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00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:05,767
Stuart?
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00:01:05,801 --> 00:01:07,267
Caitlin... .
24
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:10,734
Ooh. Um... Guys, this is
just a big mistake. .
25
00:01:10,767 --> 00:01:12,267
Tell me about it.
26
00:01:12,300 --> 00:01:15,067
Natural blonde? .
27
00:01:42,501 --> 00:01:44,634
Your mother placed a
personal ad for you? .
28
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,567
She does this every few months
29
00:01:46,601 --> 00:01:48,601
because she's dying for
me to find a husband. .
30
00:01:48,634 --> 00:01:50,767
But I just end up getting
calls from creepy guys. .
31
00:01:50,801 --> 00:01:53,501
Why don't you just tell your
mother to butt out of your life? .
32
00:01:53,534 --> 00:01:55,601
Every time I do,
I end up feeling guilty. .
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00:01:55,634 --> 00:01:58,133
She's never gonna
get off my back
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00:01:58,167 --> 00:02:00,033
until I end up
in a relationship. .
35
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:02,534
You know what?
I will just invent a lover.
36
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:05,067
I have some experience
with that. .
37
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:08,467
She said invent, not inflate. .
38
00:02:08,501 --> 00:02:11,000
Never mind. .
39
00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:13,901
Thanks, mark.
I appreciate your endorsement. .
40
00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,234
Say hi to britt and the kids. .
41
00:02:16,267 --> 00:02:17,868
It's great seeing you. .
42
00:02:17,901 --> 00:02:20,067
God, I can't stand that guy. .
43
00:02:20,100 --> 00:02:22,067
But I'm gonna win this election
44
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,234
because I am
an endorsement machine. .
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00:02:25,267 --> 00:02:27,934
Sir, your next meeting is
with the council of rabbis,
46
00:02:27,968 --> 00:02:30,434
and after that, with
the city liquor commission. .
47
00:02:30,467 --> 00:02:32,334
Gotcha. Jews, then booze.
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00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:35,300
Stuart, my friend got me tickets
to the hottest show in town. .
49
00:02:35,334 --> 00:02:37,067
You want to go with me? .
50
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,234
No way.
The last time you said that,
51
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:41,701
I wound up being pressed between
a bunch of sweaty men
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00:02:41,734 --> 00:02:43,701
listening to
a wham! Cover band. .
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00:02:43,734 --> 00:02:47,834
Do you not have my number?! .
54
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:49,367
Suit yourself, Stuart.
55
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,667
I was gonna take you to the
Victoria's secret fashion show.
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00:02:52,701 --> 00:02:55,801
Charlie, you want to go with me
to the Victoria's secret...
57
00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:57,567
yes. .
58
00:03:02,934 --> 00:03:05,534
You got to take me
to the fashion show. .
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00:03:05,567 --> 00:03:07,300
Why is it so important?
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00:03:07,334 --> 00:03:09,100
I have five goals in life. .
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00:03:09,133 --> 00:03:11,334
Four of them can happen there.
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00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:14,234
I'm sorry, Stuart.
I already asked Charlie. .
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00:03:14,267 --> 00:03:16,601
Oh. How'd you score
tickets anyway? .
64
00:03:16,634 --> 00:03:19,267
Oh, this friend of mine's kid
sister has connections. .
65
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,734
In fact, she's on
her way up now. .
66
00:03:20,767 --> 00:03:22,901
She's always had a crush on me. .
67
00:03:22,934 --> 00:03:25,367
Used to follow me around
like a puppy dog,
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00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,200
but never really had it
in the looks department. .
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00:03:28,234 --> 00:03:30,767
Hi, Paul. .
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00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:33,767
Hey ya, rhea. .
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00:03:33,801 --> 00:03:36,334
Wow, you look great. .
72
00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:38,367
Here we go. .
73
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:42,267
Do you have any idea
who that is? .
74
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:44,601
Yeah, it's Joey durham's
little sister. .
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00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:47,601
That's rhea durham... a
Victoria's secret cover girl. .
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00:03:47,634 --> 00:03:50,901
She's a smoking-hot supermodel! .
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00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:53,968
I don't see it. .
78
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,701
Come on, rhea.
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00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:57,934
I'll let you tag along
with me to the canteen. .
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00:03:57,968 --> 00:04:00,434
But if any of my
buddies are there,
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00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:03,234
you pretend you don't know me. .
82
00:04:06,167 --> 00:04:08,200
Mom? Honey! .
83
00:04:08,234 --> 00:04:12,133
Oh, this is a surprise.
What are you doing in town? .
84
00:04:12,167 --> 00:04:14,300
Your cousin Marsha's
wedding is tonight. .
85
00:04:14,334 --> 00:04:16,501
Marsha's getting married?
Why didn't you tell me?
86
00:04:16,534 --> 00:04:18,534
I thought it would be awkward
87
00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:21,534
since you're the last single
girl in the family.
88
00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:23,601
I am not the last single girl. .
89
00:04:23,634 --> 00:04:25,901
What about cousin Judy
with the gland problem? .
90
00:04:25,934 --> 00:04:28,501
She found someone... a doctor. .
91
00:04:30,133 --> 00:04:32,701
I wanted to spare you
the embarrassment,
92
00:04:32,734 --> 00:04:35,300
so I told everybody
that you're in rehab. .
93
00:04:35,334 --> 00:04:38,267
How could you tell people that?
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00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:40,133
I feel so humiliated. .
95
00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:41,300
What about me? .
96
00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:42,567
Do you think it was easy
97
00:04:42,601 --> 00:04:45,334
pretending to put my
little girl in rehab?
98
00:04:45,367 --> 00:04:48,367
I'm sorry. .
99
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,767
So where's this new
boyfriend of yours? .
100
00:04:50,801 --> 00:04:52,033
New boyfriend? .
101
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:54,100
Oh, look, mom, there's
something I got to tell you. .
102
00:04:54,133 --> 00:04:56,100
Not another breakup. .
103
00:04:56,133 --> 00:04:58,100
Why can't you hang onto a man? .
104
00:04:58,133 --> 00:05:00,534
This is just what happened
with you and John Davis. .
105
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,634
He had such a bright future,
106
00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:05,300
but, no, you didn't know
how to make him happy. .
107
00:05:05,334 --> 00:05:08,868
We were 11. .
108
00:05:08,901 --> 00:05:10,734
Why do you always
assume the worst?
109
00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,467
I'll have you know,
I didn't get dumped. .
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00:05:12,501 --> 00:05:14,667
Well, when do I
get to meet him? .
111
00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:16,400
Right now. .
112
00:05:16,434 --> 00:05:18,467
Mom, this is my boyfriend. .
113
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:20,767
Whoa, whoa. Wait a second. .
114
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Mo-o-o-m! .
115
00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:28,567
Oh. .
116
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,667
How was last night's meeting
with the teamsters? .
117
00:05:36,701 --> 00:05:39,300
Oh, I didn't get home
till 6:30 in the morning. .
118
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:41,367
All night it was,
"you can't leave, buddy. .
119
00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:43,200
Pay for another round." .
120
00:05:43,234 --> 00:05:45,200
"Don't go, big guy.
Dinner's on you." .
121
00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:48,701
"Stick around, chief.
Give me $100." .
122
00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:50,501
Those guys love me. .
123
00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:52,300
Sir, bad news. .
124
00:05:52,334 --> 00:05:55,000
The teachers' union is on the
verge of endorsing Wheeler. .
125
00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:57,367
If we lose them,
we're in trouble. .
126
00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,067
Our only shot is for you to meet
with their representative
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00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,367
this afternoon and get her to
change her mind.
128
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,234
I'm on a roll. Let's do it. .
129
00:06:06,534 --> 00:06:09,901
Sir, you're operating
on two hours of sleep. .
130
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:13,667
That's, like, 15 hours less
than you're used to.
131
00:06:13,701 --> 00:06:16,267
Charlie, I do some of my best
work without rest. .
132
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:19,868
One time in college, I
aced my calculus final
133
00:06:19,901 --> 00:06:21,667
on one hour's sleep. .
134
00:06:21,701 --> 00:06:25,434
You told me you bought the
answers from Bobby Goldstein. .
135
00:06:25,467 --> 00:06:28,501
On one hour's sleep. .
136
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,267
And then this wave came and
ripped my bikini top off. .
137
00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,901
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great story. .
138
00:06:35,934 --> 00:06:37,534
Listen...
139
00:06:37,567 --> 00:06:40,267
I'm really busy, rhea.
I better get back to work. .
140
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,667
Hey, would you
autograph this picture
141
00:06:42,701 --> 00:06:44,801
of me modeling the miracle bra? .
142
00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:47,868
Fine. .
143
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,300
Oh, my God. .
144
00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:56,234
Oh, my God, I just realized something.
You did? .
145
00:06:56,267 --> 00:06:58,501
Yeah, my "p's" look like "r's." .
146
00:06:59,868 --> 00:07:03,133
No wonder everyone at the bank
keeps calling me Raul. .
147
00:07:04,667 --> 00:07:06,667
After working together
for a while,
148
00:07:06,701 --> 00:07:09,033
Charlie and I realized we were
more than friends.
149
00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:10,801
I am just crazy about him. .
150
00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:12,834
Hey, guys, this is
my friend rhea.
151
00:07:12,868 --> 00:07:14,968
Charlie, she got us the
Victoria's secret tickets. .
152
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,701
It's going to be so much fun.
153
00:07:16,734 --> 00:07:19,501
I'll bring you backstage and
introduce you to all the models. .
154
00:07:19,534 --> 00:07:22,334
Well, that sounds... ugh!
155
00:07:22,367 --> 00:07:24,434
I can't. .
156
00:07:24,467 --> 00:07:27,801
Why not? I don't like models. .
157
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,634
I like Caitlin. .
158
00:07:31,667 --> 00:07:34,567
Besides, Charlie's got a family
wedding to go to tonight. .
159
00:07:36,067 --> 00:07:38,234
Did I forget to
mention that, honey? .
160
00:07:38,267 --> 00:07:40,601
Yes, you did, muffinhead. .
161
00:07:42,334 --> 00:07:44,334
Would you excuse us
for a moment? .
162
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:47,667
Family wedding?
163
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:49,667
I can't go to a family
wedding tonight. .
164
00:07:49,701 --> 00:07:51,133
Why not? .
165
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:54,200
Because the models need me. .
166
00:07:54,234 --> 00:07:57,000
Fine. Then you
go tell my mother.
167
00:07:57,033 --> 00:07:59,567
I will. I'm not afraid of her.
168
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:11,634
I have to go rent a tux. .
169
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:15,100
Pictures are at 6:00. .
170
00:08:24,767 --> 00:08:28,367
I am so lucky to be with you. .
171
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,734
You look really sexy
in that tux.
172
00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:33,968
I thought you might
feel that way, so...
173
00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:37,701
I got us a room upstairs.
174
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:41,501
Charlie, I'm just pretending
for my relatives. .
175
00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,334
Me too. .
176
00:08:43,367 --> 00:08:47,367
This is a pretend key to
a $400 nonrefundable suite.
177
00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,400
Charlie, just stay focused. .
178
00:08:49,434 --> 00:08:52,667
Sorry. I'm not used to being
with a woman who's faking it. .
179
00:08:52,701 --> 00:08:55,100
Keep telling yourself that.
180
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:56,968
I need a drink. .
181
00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,100
There's a lot at stake here.
I don't want you drinking. .
182
00:09:00,133 --> 00:09:02,334
Give me that.
Give me the drink. .
183
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,767
Give me the scotch!
184
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:07,567
Just put it down, dear. .
185
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:11,534
You're tearing this
family apart. .
186
00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:14,234
Look, I don't want to be here
any more than you do,
187
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:16,968
so let's try and get through the
night without any incidents,
188
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,901
and my mother will
be off my back. .
189
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,501
Hey, Caitlin. .
190
00:09:20,534 --> 00:09:22,300
Who's this guy?
191
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:24,734
Stevie, this is Charlie,
my new boyfriend.
192
00:09:24,767 --> 00:09:26,767
Charlie, this is
my cousin Stevie. .
193
00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:28,801
Can I talk to you for a second? .
194
00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:33,634
Here's the deal, porkchop. .
195
00:09:33,667 --> 00:09:35,467
Caitlin's my favorite cousin. .
196
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:38,934
If you hurt her in any way,
I will hit you so hard
197
00:09:38,968 --> 00:09:41,834
it'll knock the product
out of your hair. .
198
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:45,467
You know where I'm coming from?
199
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,834
I'm guessing a small room above
your parents' garage?
200
00:09:57,968 --> 00:09:59,901
Sweet kid.
201
00:09:59,934 --> 00:10:03,234
Charlie, my mother's all alone.
Go ask her to dance. .
202
00:10:03,267 --> 00:10:05,334
You know I hate dancing. .
203
00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:07,133
Oh, come on. Just one. .
204
00:10:07,167 --> 00:10:09,901
Yeah, I guess
I can handle this. .
205
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:13,267
May I have this dance? .
206
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:14,367
Of course. .
207
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:18,367
Okay, party animals,
let's boogie!
208
00:10:50,801 --> 00:10:52,901
You know, I thought being here
209
00:10:52,934 --> 00:10:55,701
would make me feel
nervous and overwhelmed,
210
00:10:55,734 --> 00:10:58,567
but I'm strangely at peace.
211
00:10:58,601 --> 00:11:02,801
I am now certain that there is
a benevolent higher being.
212
00:11:02,834 --> 00:11:05,934
I no longer fear death.
213
00:11:05,968 --> 00:11:09,167
I felt the same way
when I saw the dalai lama. .
214
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,667
Grow up. .
215
00:11:11,701 --> 00:11:12,901
Hey, Paul. .
216
00:11:12,934 --> 00:11:14,601
Hey ya, rhea. .
217
00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:17,467
Oh, God, it's time to
get this over with. .
218
00:11:17,501 --> 00:11:19,434
If you break up with her now,
219
00:11:19,467 --> 00:11:21,901
there's gonna be a lot of
screaming and crying,
220
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:24,567
and I don't want the models
to see me like that.
221
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,734
Paul, I'm so glad you came. .
222
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:29,868
After the show, you have to
come with me to the Plaza. .
223
00:11:29,901 --> 00:11:32,400
The models are having
a hot-tub party. .
224
00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:36,667
Sorry. Don't have my swimsuit. .
225
00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:39,467
Look, rhea, we have to talk. .
226
00:11:39,501 --> 00:11:44,234
This thing between you and me,
it's never gonna happen. .
227
00:11:44,267 --> 00:11:45,501
Why not? .
228
00:11:45,534 --> 00:11:48,501
There's no razzmatazz,
no zip-a-Dee-doo-dah,
229
00:11:48,534 --> 00:11:50,367
no bing, bang, boom. .
230
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,400
You're saying there's
no chemistry? .
231
00:11:52,434 --> 00:11:54,400
You lost me. .
232
00:11:54,434 --> 00:11:55,734
Look...
233
00:11:55,767 --> 00:11:59,033
I like you as a friend,
but that's it. .
234
00:11:59,067 --> 00:12:01,868
It's never gonna go
any further.
235
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,234
I'm sorry.
236
00:12:08,067 --> 00:12:09,801
Poor kid.
237
00:12:17,234 --> 00:12:21,767
Sir? This is Elsa kirkpatrick,
head of the teachers' union. .
238
00:12:21,801 --> 00:12:23,767
Miss kirkpatrick,
mayor Winston. .
239
00:12:23,801 --> 00:12:25,701
Pleased to meet you. .
240
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,234
Sir, are you okay?
241
00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:29,801
I'm fine. Why? .
242
00:12:29,834 --> 00:12:31,601
You just shook Stuart's hand.
243
00:12:31,634 --> 00:12:34,167
I thought that gal
had a manly grip. .
244
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,400
Sir, this is
a key endorsement,
245
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:38,901
and you need to be
at the top of your game. .
246
00:12:38,934 --> 00:12:41,434
Maybe we should reschedule this
for after you've had a nap. .
247
00:12:41,467 --> 00:12:43,934
Nonsense.
So, where shall we begin? .
248
00:12:43,968 --> 00:12:45,767
Mr. mayor, if
you want our endorsement,
249
00:12:45,801 --> 00:12:48,133
you're gonna have to listen to
my union's list of demands. .
250
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,133
Sounds riveting.
251
00:12:50,167 --> 00:12:52,868
If I stay awake,it will be a miracle. .
252
00:12:52,901 --> 00:12:55,467
What we need are new textbooks,
smaller classroom sizes... .
253
00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:57,000
Pay attention.
254
00:12:57,033 --> 00:12:58,901
better-educated
teachers, and better pay. .
255
00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:00,968
Maybe she's sayingsomething interesting. .
256
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,434
Because the core curriculum... .
257
00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:03,901
Oh, jeez.
258
00:13:03,934 --> 00:13:05,934
better-educated
teachers, and better pay...
259
00:13:05,968 --> 00:13:07,934
I just need a3-second power nap.
260
00:13:07,968 --> 00:13:09,901
the better their test scores...
261
00:13:09,934 --> 00:13:12,033
I'm gonna put my handover my eyes
262
00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,000
and pretend I'm concentrating. .
263
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:16,634
Statistics show that the more
students read...
264
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,400
the better their test scores
265
00:13:28,434 --> 00:13:31,434
and the greater their chance of
going on to a higher education. .
266
00:13:34,868 --> 00:13:37,334
He certainly seems to like
what you're saying. .
267
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:44,734
Okay, your Uncle Fred just
pulled me into a conga line. .
268
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:48,234
He's a sweet man. I don't know why
he never settled down with a woman.
269
00:13:48,267 --> 00:13:51,067
I do. .
270
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,234
Hey, we got time
for one more song. .
271
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,400
How 'bout we get Caitlin's
new boyfriend out here
272
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:58,334
to lead us in
the chicken dance?! .
273
00:13:58,367 --> 00:14:01,067
That's it. I'm out of here.
274
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,968
Charlie, the wedding's
almost over. .
275
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:05,434
Let me leave with one
shred of dignity. .
276
00:14:05,467 --> 00:14:07,467
Don't make me chicken dance! .
277
00:14:07,501 --> 00:14:09,300
Did you just raise
your voice to her? .
278
00:14:09,334 --> 00:14:11,634
Because maybe if you need
more volume,
279
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,834
you should speak
into the microphone.
280
00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:15,434
I don't want to fight.
281
00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:17,968
I don't blame you.
You know why?
282
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,834
I'm crazy. .
283
00:14:19,868 --> 00:14:22,534
Really? You hide it well. .
284
00:14:25,801 --> 00:14:28,041
This is getting ridiculous.
Tell your mother the truth. .
285
00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:30,667
It's working perfectly.
We're almost in the clear. .
286
00:14:30,701 --> 00:14:32,534
Unless you're open
and honest with her,
287
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:34,534
you'll never have a decent
relationship. .
288
00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:36,868
Please. The last time you
talked to your parents,
289
00:14:36,901 --> 00:14:38,601
you were in a holding cell.
290
00:14:38,634 --> 00:14:40,467
I had one call.
291
00:14:40,501 --> 00:14:42,067
I chose them. .
292
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,634
That's love. .
293
00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,567
There's my boy.
294
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:50,133
Charlie, be a lamb and get me
a diet coke the way I like it. .
295
00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:52,267
With vodka and no diet coke?
296
00:14:52,300 --> 00:14:54,767
Yes.
297
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:59,234
Caitlin, it makes me so happy
to see you with Charlie. .
298
00:14:59,267 --> 00:15:01,868
Now I can go home and not
worry about you. .
299
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,300
Mom, you never had
to worry about me. .
300
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:06,634
You had nothing.
You were alone. .
301
00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:09,300
And let's face it...
not getting any younger. .
302
00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,067
But now you have Charlie. .
303
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,968
Mom, wait. .
304
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,467
There's something I have to
tell you about Charlie. .
305
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:19,400
Don't tell me you're blowing
it with him, too. .
306
00:15:19,434 --> 00:15:21,801
Why can't you get
your life together? .
307
00:15:21,834 --> 00:15:23,300
That's it.
308
00:15:23,334 --> 00:15:25,200
I am sick of you
putting me down!
309
00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:28,801
I like my life, and I am not
gonna lie about it anymore!
310
00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:31,968
I was never dating Charlie.
I'm single. .
311
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,467
You hear that everyone? Single!
312
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,901
I haven't had sex in 8 months. .
313
00:15:36,934 --> 00:15:38,634
Motorcycle injury.
314
00:15:40,334 --> 00:15:43,467
Should be good to go
by Christmas. .
315
00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,667
This is not the time
or the place.
316
00:15:45,701 --> 00:15:47,000
I don't care. .
317
00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:49,601
It's time for this family to
stop lying about everything. .
318
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:52,934
Mom, you told everyone
dad was sick, but admit it...
319
00:15:52,968 --> 00:15:56,634
he's in Vegas blowing the rest
of grandpa's money. .
320
00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:59,000
And cousin Marsha,
you're a beautiful bride,
321
00:15:59,033 --> 00:16:01,000
but we all know
you're pregnant. .
322
00:16:03,834 --> 00:16:08,567
And Uncle Fred... you're not fooling
anyone with Jeffrey, your live-in chef. .
323
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,701
Here's your diet coke. .
324
00:16:13,734 --> 00:16:16,701
That... Is vodka. .
325
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:25,634
I have never been so insulted
in my entire life. .
326
00:16:25,667 --> 00:16:27,234
This man is fast asleep. .
327
00:16:27,267 --> 00:16:30,701
No, he's not.
He's deep in thought. .
328
00:16:30,734 --> 00:16:33,534
Uh, he's deciding how big a
raise to give your union.
329
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,067
You heard him... 3%. .
330
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,567
This is ridiculous,
and I'm leaving. .
331
00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:44,501
Ohh. There goes the election. .
332
00:16:44,534 --> 00:16:46,501
Well, good day, gentlemen. .
333
00:16:46,534 --> 00:16:48,901
Looks like we'll be giving
our support to Wheeler. .
334
00:16:48,934 --> 00:16:50,601
Wait. .
335
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:53,100
Miss kirkpatrick,
I have something to say. .
336
00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:57,033
When my great-grandfather
came to New York,
337
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,901
he was an immigrant
with two simple dreams...
338
00:16:59,934 --> 00:17:03,167
to educate his children
and to live on fifth Avenue. .
339
00:17:04,634 --> 00:17:07,567
As it turns out,
he bought on park, but... .
340
00:17:07,601 --> 00:17:09,901
His other dream came true,
341
00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:12,667
because the quality of the
public schools in this city
342
00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:14,367
was the best in the world. .
343
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,033
And it can be again. .
344
00:17:16,067 --> 00:17:19,067
Well, that's a nice story, but
what are you proposing to do?
345
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:21,367
I know the average class size
is 34 students. .
346
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,133
We're gonna lower it to 25. .
347
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:26,834
And I know that you've had
the same textbooks since 1986. .
348
00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:29,167
We're gonna get you
some new ones. .
349
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:32,701
And I know that the meatloaf
that they serve on Tuesdays
350
00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:36,133
can be a little dry. .
351
00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:39,133
We're gonna get you gravy.
352
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,701
I am impressed. .
353
00:17:41,734 --> 00:17:45,033
Not with the gravy, but with
all the other proposals. .
354
00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:47,701
Mayor Winston,
you have our endorsement.
355
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:50,033
I look forward
to working with you. .
356
00:17:51,634 --> 00:17:53,534
Sir! Sir, that was amazing. .
357
00:17:53,567 --> 00:17:56,300
Yeah, you really had us
worried for a second. .
358
00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:59,801
Well, guys, this old pro is
still on top of his game. .
359
00:17:59,834 --> 00:18:03,434
Just wait till you see me
with the teachers' union.
360
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:11,601
Charlie...
361
00:18:11,634 --> 00:18:13,567
I'm sorry I put you
through this. .
362
00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:15,968
Is there any way I
can make it up to you? .
363
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,934
Your hotel room. .
364
00:18:25,968 --> 00:18:30,167
Does it have
a nice, big shower? .
365
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,167
Yes, it does. .
366
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,033
Great. .
367
00:18:34,067 --> 00:18:36,467
Then go take a cold one.
368
00:18:44,534 --> 00:18:48,133
No one leaves this room until I
get an explanation.
369
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:50,200
Charlie, can you come out
here for a second? .
370
00:18:51,667 --> 00:18:53,801
Well, I'd love to stay
and help solve this,
371
00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:56,133
but this sounds
like official city business. .
372
00:18:56,167 --> 00:18:58,067
Mr. bondek, what's the problem? .
373
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:01,000
We're checking out underwear
models on the Internet. .
374
00:19:02,901 --> 00:19:05,267
I better look into that. .
375
00:19:09,033 --> 00:19:11,334
Did you have
to air out dirty laundry
376
00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:13,200
in front of the entire family? .
377
00:19:13,234 --> 00:19:15,100
Face it, mom. .
378
00:19:15,133 --> 00:19:17,834
We had a lot of skeletons
in the closet... And one Uncle. .
379
00:19:17,868 --> 00:19:19,834
Well, you humiliated me. .
380
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:22,400
Look, I'm sorry I did it
at Marsha's wedding,
381
00:19:22,434 --> 00:19:24,434
but I'm not sorry
about what I said.
382
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,534
I want you to accept me
for who I am.
383
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:27,968
I want the same from you. .
384
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,200
What are you talking about? .
385
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,067
Oh, come on, Caitlin. .
386
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:33,167
We both know that
you don't approve of me. .
387
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,334
Everything you've done
in your life
388
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:37,300
has been to reject who I am. .
389
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,534
That's not true. .
390
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:41,300
Oh, please.
391
00:19:41,334 --> 00:19:44,734
I married young,
I didn't have a career,
392
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,033
I never lived on my own.
393
00:19:47,067 --> 00:19:50,767
I know you don't respect the way
I've lived my life. .
394
00:19:50,801 --> 00:19:52,701
Mom, I think your life
is great,
395
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,701
and I'm doing the best
I can with mine. .
396
00:19:54,734 --> 00:19:56,934
But if we're gonna have
any kind of relationship,
397
00:19:56,968 --> 00:19:59,300
we both have to accept
that we're different people. .
398
00:19:59,334 --> 00:20:00,601
And that's okay. .
399
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,567
You know, I'm not very
good at expressing myself,
400
00:20:04,601 --> 00:20:07,267
but after you
left the wedding,
401
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:10,167
I wrote down
how I feel about you. .
402
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:16,801
"Successful, intelligent,
403
00:20:16,834 --> 00:20:19,901
"independent, beautiful woman
404
00:20:19,934 --> 00:20:24,400
who loves traveling,
homemade pasta, and yoga." .
405
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:27,334
Mom, this sounds
like a personal ad.
406
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,467
I hope so. It's running
in the post tomorrow. .
407
00:20:30,501 --> 00:20:34,534
You know, it's too bad you and
Charlie aren't dating. .
408
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,868
You know, I have excellent
instincts,
409
00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:39,634
and... He's a real keeper.
410
00:20:41,067 --> 00:20:42,868
Stuart, move your head.
411
00:20:47,133 --> 00:20:49,767
I can't see the boobs!
412
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,634
Let's go this way. .
413
00:20:58,968 --> 00:21:01,501
Hey, Paul, we're watching the
Victoria's secret fashion show. .
414
00:21:01,534 --> 00:21:03,968
Whoa, who's the girl
in the sexy Teddy?
415
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:06,801
Paul, that's rhea.
That's the girl you rejected. .
416
00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:08,501
You're kidding?
417
00:21:08,534 --> 00:21:10,334
I turned down a supermodel? .
418
00:21:10,367 --> 00:21:12,667
Oh, my gosh, how many guys
can say that? .
419
00:21:12,701 --> 00:21:16,400
Yeah! I win! I am the winner! .
420
00:21:16,434 --> 00:21:17,567
Yeah! .
421
00:21:17,601 --> 00:21:19,167
Wait for it. .
422
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,801
Oh-h-h, God! .
423
00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,133
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
424
00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:26,367
.
425
00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:28,868
Moo.
32045
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