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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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I called your adoption agency
because I realized that,
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while I'm professionally
successful,
3
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,534
personally,
something's missing.
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I have a lot of love to give,
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and I know that I would make
a good and decent father. .
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That's beautiful. .
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But all I asked was
your date of birth. .
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Sorry.
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I'm... A little nervous.
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I don't think he's doing well. .
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We've gotta do something. .
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00:00:26,801 --> 00:00:28,667
Next question... is your...
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oh, sorry to interrupt.
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Carter, thanks for writing
the speech. .
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You're a very thoughtful,
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00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:37,067
intelligent, responsib person. .
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Thank you, Caitlin.
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Sorry about that.
Uh, please continue.
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Carter... .
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00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,934
Great job on
that budget report. .
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It was very... Loving
and fathering. .
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Uh, again, I'm sorry.
They're my friends. .
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They're just trying to help. .
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Oh, there you are, Carter.
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I wanted to thank you
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for taking me
to that baseball game,
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buying me a hot dog,
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and giving me that talk about
the birds and the bees.
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Carter, you're the greatest.
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That story was a bit much. .
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Actually,
that one really happened. .
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Sir, the latest election polls
are in. .
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Oh, excellent.
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I'm beating Wheeler by 19%
among young adults,
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14% among women... heh heh.
36
00:02:01,167 --> 00:02:03,801
I'm down 6% with seniors. .
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What do those geezers have
against me? .
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It's a mystery, sir. .
39
00:02:09,467 --> 00:02:11,834
Oh, guys, guys...
Wheeler's new campaign ad.
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I'm Julian Wheeler,
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00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:16,300
and I believe in protectingthe environment. .
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00:02:16,334 --> 00:02:17,601
What about Winston? .
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00:02:19,534 --> 00:02:22,834
I believe that technologyis the future. .
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What about Winston?
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.
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And I believe in old-fashionedfamily values. .
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What about Winston? .
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For a better New York,
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vote Wheeler. .
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Bravo, sir. You looked great. .
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Sir... .
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My gut says we retaliate. .
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He attacks us, we attack him. .
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00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:58,834
Let's hit him back
with everything we got. .
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00:02:58,868 --> 00:03:00,667
Thank you, Sonny corleone. .
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00:03:00,701 --> 00:03:02,634
Sir, focus-group research
indicates
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that voters prefer politicians
who stay positive
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and stick to the issues. .
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00:03:07,434 --> 00:03:09,701
Thank you, Brenda Miller. .
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00:03:09,734 --> 00:03:11,267
Who's Brenda Miller? .
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00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:14,734
Some brainy girl I used to cheat
off in high school. .
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00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:16,400
You know, sir... .
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00:03:16,434 --> 00:03:19,868
We could always hit them
with some snaps. .
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00:03:19,901 --> 00:03:21,701
Snaps? Witty remarks,
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00:03:21,734 --> 00:03:25,934
like "Wheeler's mama
is so fat... ."
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00:03:25,968 --> 00:03:31,200
When she hauls ass,
she has to make two trips." .
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00:03:32,934 --> 00:03:36,000
Well, I've heard some
compelling arguments.
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00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:39,200
I prefer to run my campaign
on issues, not on insults. .
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00:03:39,234 --> 00:03:41,567
So I'm gonna go with Caitlin
on this one. .
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Thank you, sir. .
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00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:45,467
In fact, I've decided to choose
one of you
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to be the point person
for all campaign strategies. .
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Well, thank you, sir.
I'm honored. .
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00:03:51,133 --> 00:03:53,434
Since Caitlin has the most
campaign experience,
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I'm choosing her. .
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00:03:54,601 --> 00:03:55,801
Good call, sir. .
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00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:04,634
Well, the adoption agency
says I'm still number 3,000
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00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,100
on the waiting list. .
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00:04:06,133 --> 00:04:08,834
At this rate, I'll have a baby
when I'm 87.
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00:04:08,868 --> 00:04:11,968
I'll be too old to teach him
how to throw a baseball. .
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00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,133
On the upside, you have
50 years to learn yourself. .
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Guess who. .
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00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:20,200
Chanel no. 5... .
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Lavender hand cream...
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00:04:22,667 --> 00:04:24,467
Brian?
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00:04:24,501 --> 00:04:27,133
Carter! You know it's me.
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00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:28,667
I can't believe you're here!
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Michelle, what are you doing
in town?
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Carter told me everything
he was going through
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00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:34,434
trying to adopt.
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I knew he was upset,
so here I am. .
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00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,133
We've always been there
for each other. .
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Even in high school, Carter was
there to cheer me up
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00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:43,167
when I got dumped by the captain
of the football team. .
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00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,834
And Michelle gave me a shoulder
to cry on when he dumped me. .
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00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,868
Hello, Michelle. .
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00:04:50,901 --> 00:04:53,200
It's so very nice to see you
again. .
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00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:55,167
As always, you look lovely. .
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00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,334
Thank you, Stuart. .
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You are so sweet. .
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00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,267
What do you say
we go get some lunch? .
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Great idea. See you guys later. .
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Goodbye, Michelle.
It was lovely seeing you. .
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Have a lovely afternoon. .
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00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:15,267
So, how long have you had
a crush on Michelle? .
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What are you talking about?
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I just think it was lovely
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00:05:19,033 --> 00:05:21,667
the way you said
she was lovely. .
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Stop it. .
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Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely. .
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00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,567
You don't know
what you're talking about. .
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Now, if you'll excuse me, .
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Mr. Jerry Flynn,
the king of porn,
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00:05:31,901 --> 00:05:33,701
is doing a video signing. .
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You really want to see
the king of porn? .
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What's happening to me? .
117
00:05:42,601 --> 00:05:44,868
You like Michelle.
Why don't you tell her?
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I can't. I get near her,
I can barely talk. .
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Maybe Carter could talk to her
for you. .
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00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:51,167
Oh, Carter can't know. .
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00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,067
He'll either disapprove,
or worse...
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00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:57,868
get emotionally supportive. .
123
00:06:00,934 --> 00:06:03,467
Okay, I've just called
Wheeler's headquarters,
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00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:05,868
and I've set up a sit-down
meeting with him. .
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00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:07,934
We'll get him in a room,
liquor him up,
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00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:12,267
make him spill some secrets,
and ruin his campaign. .
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00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,501
No, we're gonna sit down,
air out our differences,
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and establish ground rules. .
129
00:06:17,133 --> 00:06:20,267
Then we'll liquor him up
and ruin his campaign. .
130
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:25,133
No. We should be beating
this guy into the dirt. .
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00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,267
You need to pull back
on the testosterone. .
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00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,934
You need to pull back on the...
133
00:06:29,968 --> 00:06:32,567
what is that stuff chicks have? .
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00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,234
There's a reason the mayor made
me the point person.
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00:06:35,267 --> 00:06:38,300
I've run successful campaigns,
and this is how I do it. .
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Whatever. .
137
00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,300
Oh, I see what this is about. .
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00:06:44,334 --> 00:06:47,734
You're upset that the mayor
chose me over you. .
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00:06:47,767 --> 00:06:49,367
He made the call.
I'm fine with it. .
140
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,534
There's a lot more going on in
your head than you let on. .
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00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:54,701
Like right now,
what are you thinking? .
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00:06:54,734 --> 00:06:55,767
Right now. .
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00:06:55,801 --> 00:07:00,234
Those dancing hot dogs
from the...
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00:07:02,434 --> 00:07:05,234
"let's all go to the lobby"
end movie song. .
145
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Why do I bother?
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♪ let's all go to the lobby... .
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00:07:21,834 --> 00:07:23,634
Hi, Stuart. .
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00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,200
Oh, hey, Michelle. .
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00:07:25,234 --> 00:07:26,634
Where's Carter? .
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00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:27,868
He went out for a while.
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00:07:27,901 --> 00:07:29,767
I'm having a beer.
I'll get you one. .
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That would be... Glorious. .
153
00:07:33,734 --> 00:07:36,434
"Glorious"? .
154
00:07:36,467 --> 00:07:40,000
All right, calm down.
You can do this. .
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00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:43,067
Don't freak out.
You're the man. .
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00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:45,801
You're freaking out. .
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You're not the man. .
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Here you go.
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00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:57,601
Stuart? .
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00:07:57,634 --> 00:07:59,434
Are you trying to say
something?
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00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,501
I've really liked you
for a long time,
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00:08:01,534 --> 00:08:03,534
and I would love to go out
with you.
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00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,968
I don't know what to say.
164
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,067
I always imagined you saying,
"are you kidding?
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00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:11,300
I want nothing to do with you." .
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Oh, and then you laugh.
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00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,701
I would love
to go out with you. .
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00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:17,567
Why? I mean, cool. .
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00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,734
No, "why" was right. .
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Remember two christmases ago
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when Carter dragged us
to rockefeller center
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00:08:24,467 --> 00:08:27,334
to watch that figure-skating show?
Yeah, it was freezing. .
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And you gave me your mittens. .
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00:08:29,501 --> 00:08:31,634
That's when I knew I liked you. .
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00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,801
Why didn't you tell me? .
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00:08:33,834 --> 00:08:35,767
You're always so proper
around me. .
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"You look so lovely." .
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00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:39,234
"It's lovely to see you."
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I mean, when I a guy likes
a girl,
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00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:44,200
you're supposed to say,
"baby, I wanna get with you." .
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00:08:44,234 --> 00:08:47,400
That was what was in my heart. .
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00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:54,334
Wheeler's 20 minutes late.
He'll be here, sir. .
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00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,901
Then we'll work out a solution
to these personal attacks. .
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00:08:57,934 --> 00:08:59,067
If this doesn't work,
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00:08:59,100 --> 00:09:02,133
we could always bake him
some cookies.
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00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,200
I need a drink. .
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00:09:04,234 --> 00:09:05,400
Excuse me. .
188
00:09:08,968 --> 00:09:12,067
You know, you could try to be
a little more supportive.
189
00:09:12,100 --> 00:09:13,567
I'm here, aren't I? .
190
00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:15,934
If you expect me
to be your cheerleader...
191
00:09:15,968 --> 00:09:18,100
who's that guy sitting
with the mayor?
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00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,934
I don't know. .
193
00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:21,701
Wait. That's Jerry Flynn. .
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00:09:21,734 --> 00:09:24,334
He's, like, the city's king
of porn. .
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00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:25,601
We're being set up. .
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00:09:25,634 --> 00:09:27,367
Thanks, Mr. mayor. .
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00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,934
Oh, by the way... .
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00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,601
Mr. Wheeler will not be able
to make it. .
199
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:36,968
He's gone way too far
this time.
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00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,667
I'll say...
Wheeler should've called
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00:09:38,701 --> 00:09:41,734
if he knew he was gonna cancel. .
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00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:44,300
This is exactly
what I've been waiting for. .
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00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,067
Why didn't you tell me
you liked me? .
204
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:48,100
We could've been doing this
a long time ago. .
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00:09:48,133 --> 00:09:49,968
We have been... In my mind. .
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00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,434
You want to see what we've been
doing in my mind? .
207
00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:58,934
Oh! Michelle... .
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00:09:58,968 --> 00:10:00,701
Good. You're here. .
209
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,267
There's something I want to talk
to you about. .
210
00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:06,067
Actually, there's something
I want to talk to you about. .
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00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,601
Me first. You know how much
I want to have a child. .
212
00:10:08,634 --> 00:10:10,567
And adoption will take forever. .
213
00:10:10,601 --> 00:10:14,267
So I decided
that the best thing to do be
214
00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,334
would be get a surrogate.
215
00:10:16,367 --> 00:10:17,901
Carter, that's a great idea.
216
00:10:17,934 --> 00:10:19,434
I'm glad you think so,
217
00:10:19,467 --> 00:10:22,634
because I was hoping maybe you'd
consider doing it. .
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00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:25,000
Wow!
219
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:28,133
I'm touched that you would ask. .
220
00:10:28,167 --> 00:10:29,868
But, well, I-it's complicated.
221
00:10:29,901 --> 00:10:31,868
I understand... you live
in a different city,
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00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:34,000
it's a huge commitment,
it could affect our friendship, .
223
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,334
Stuart's arm is around
your waist. .
224
00:10:36,367 --> 00:10:39,167
Why is Stuart's arm
around your waist?
225
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,467
Michelle and I are...
226
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,234
what are we? .
227
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:45,801
Well, I-I guess we're dating. .
228
00:10:45,834 --> 00:10:47,901
You're dating Stuart? .
229
00:10:47,934 --> 00:10:49,667
Why?
230
00:10:49,701 --> 00:10:52,601
I asked her the same question.
231
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:56,634
Carter, I'm gonna seriously
consider what you've asked me,
232
00:10:56,667 --> 00:10:58,901
but, um...
233
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:01,334
I feel like Stuart and I have
started something
234
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:03,067
that could really be special,
235
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,868
so I want to make sure
that he's comfortable with it. .
236
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,868
Well? .
237
00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:11,167
Am I comfortable
238
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,200
with Carter impregnating
my new girlfriend? .
239
00:11:15,434 --> 00:11:17,567
No. .
240
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,734
Have you seen the headlines...
241
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,934
"mayor dines with smut king"? .
242
00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:32,767
"Winston's breast buddy"? .
243
00:11:32,801 --> 00:11:36,334
"Winston... a porn leader." .
244
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,100
What paper was that in? .
245
00:11:38,133 --> 00:11:41,334
None. I just thought
it was kind of funny. .
246
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,100
Well, it's not. .
247
00:11:46,534 --> 00:11:48,334
We have tried to take
the high road,
248
00:11:48,367 --> 00:11:49,834
but Wheeler has gone too far. .
249
00:11:49,868 --> 00:11:52,400
If you think it's time to go
after this guy, we're ready.
250
00:11:52,434 --> 00:11:54,100
I have never lost an election,
251
00:11:54,133 --> 00:11:56,601
and I'm sure as hell
not gonna lose one now.
252
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,567
I'll admit, I was wrong
about Wheeler. .
253
00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:04,868
He's a lowlife.
So what do we do now? .
254
00:12:04,901 --> 00:12:07,334
Stuart's checking his tax
history with the I.R.S.,
255
00:12:07,367 --> 00:12:09,434
and Carter's looking for any
criminal record. .
256
00:12:09,467 --> 00:12:12,033
Maybe one night, he got into a
drunken bar fight,
257
00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:14,300
stole a car, and drove
into the Hudson river. .
258
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:17,067
That's my story. .
259
00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:20,934
It sounded familiar
as I was saying it. .
260
00:12:20,968 --> 00:12:23,400
Hey, guys, a buddy of mine says .
261
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:25,334
Wheeler's been showing up at his
apartment building
262
00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:26,701
with some little chippy.
263
00:12:26,734 --> 00:12:28,801
I can't believe he has a woman
on the side. .
264
00:12:28,834 --> 00:12:30,701
That's what a chippy is? .
265
00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:34,334
Wow! That's even better! .
266
00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:38,400
This is huge.
He's got a wife and four kids.
267
00:12:38,434 --> 00:12:41,501
I'm not sure this sex scandal
is the way to go. .
268
00:12:41,534 --> 00:12:44,767
This guy's whole platform is
about family values.
269
00:12:44,801 --> 00:12:46,834
I know, but we don't have
any proof. .
270
00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:48,167
Then we'll get some. .
271
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,567
We'll stake out his building
and take some pictures. .
272
00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:53,234
Maybe we'll catch him drunk
in a rooftop pool,
273
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:57,067
playing naked Marco polo with
a lonely divorcée from 3-g.
274
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,901
I gotta stop telling you
my stories. .
275
00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,901
Real nice, Carter. .
276
00:13:14,934 --> 00:13:17,067
You show no class. .
277
00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:21,133
You know, I can't believe
278
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:23,901
Michelle is listening
to the opinion of man
279
00:13:23,934 --> 00:13:26,334
whose Internet name
is "boob monger." .
280
00:13:26,367 --> 00:13:28,834
Well, she is,
and for the last time,
281
00:13:28,868 --> 00:13:31,434
it's "boob meister."
When are you gonna grow up? .
282
00:13:31,467 --> 00:13:34,868
When are you gonna stop being
a pompous jerk? .
283
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:37,467
Guys, come on,
you've been at it all day. .
284
00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:40,100
Now, the three of us,
we're gonna sit down,
285
00:13:40,133 --> 00:13:42,501
and nobody's leaving
until we fix this. .
286
00:13:42,534 --> 00:13:45,200
Okay. What's going on?
287
00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:47,801
I just started to date
Carter's best friend,
288
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:50,234
and now he wants her to carry
his gay baby. .
289
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:57,701
You guys will work it out. .
290
00:13:57,734 --> 00:14:00,534
You know what?
I hope you're happy. .
291
00:14:00,567 --> 00:14:03,634
You know how much
I want to have a child,
292
00:14:03,667 --> 00:14:06,300
and Michelle is the only person
I'd want to be my surrogate. .
293
00:14:06,334 --> 00:14:07,868
You can still adopt. .
294
00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:09,901
The waiting list for a new baby
is two years! .
295
00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:12,634
By that time, Rosie O'Donnell
will have taken the good ones! .
296
00:14:14,701 --> 00:14:17,267
Have you thought about what
Michelle might mean to me? .
297
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,934
She could be the greatest thing
that's happened in my life. .
298
00:14:19,968 --> 00:14:21,734
But instead of being happy
for me,
299
00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,667
all you think about
is how it affects you. .
300
00:14:23,701 --> 00:14:25,234
Yeah? Well...
301
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,367
at least I don't eat food
out of the garbage. .
302
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,934
It was one unpeeled tangerine! .
303
00:14:31,968 --> 00:14:35,801
Would you let it go?! .
304
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,033
So I guess you're not on board
for Carter's baby plan, huh? .
305
00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:43,467
For once, he's being petty
and selfish.
306
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:45,868
I thought about this,
and I know I'm right. .
307
00:14:45,901 --> 00:14:47,801
Well, I'm sure you are. .
308
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,634
Although you may want to ask
yourself
309
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:53,234
what if you and Michelle
don't work out? .
310
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:56,200
Is that worth risking
your friendship with Carter? .
311
00:14:56,234 --> 00:14:58,701
On the other hand,
it may work out. .
312
00:14:58,734 --> 00:15:01,601
What if you and Michelle are
together forever? .
313
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,968
Isn't nine months a small
sacrifice
314
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,367
if you can give your best friend
immeasurable happiness? .
315
00:15:09,234 --> 00:15:11,701
Well, I'm sure you've thought
of all the angles. .
316
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:13,534
All these years,
317
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:18,434
and you choose this moment to
start making sense.
318
00:15:18,467 --> 00:15:22,067
I pick my spots, boob meister. .
319
00:15:29,267 --> 00:15:31,400
You ever been on a stakeout
before? .
320
00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:33,567
Not on this end. .
321
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:36,868
This is a waste of time. .
322
00:15:36,901 --> 00:15:39,601
If we get out of here now,
I could still make my date. .
323
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:41,400
You have a date tonight? .
324
00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:43,334
We got the van. .
325
00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:47,400
Wait. .
326
00:15:47,434 --> 00:15:49,334
Chippy... 3:00. .
327
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:52,968
He's got his arm around her,
and they're kissing. .
328
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,734
Ah! You are so busted.
329
00:15:57,734 --> 00:15:59,601
You know what? This is wrong. .
330
00:15:59,634 --> 00:16:02,567
If we go public with this, we'll
be coming down to his level.
331
00:16:02,601 --> 00:16:05,234
I say, "run a positive
campaign," you're against it. .
332
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:08,767
Now I'm ready to go negative, and you're
against that? What's your problem?
333
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,434
I'm a complicated dude. .
334
00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:13,267
You can't handle taking orders
from me. .
335
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,934
That's not true. .
336
00:16:14,968 --> 00:16:17,434
You're not in control,
so you're undermining me. .
337
00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:19,601
Why else would you want to
protect this jerk? .
338
00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:21,601
Because he's got kids, okay? .
339
00:16:22,968 --> 00:16:25,601
Look, when I was growing up,
I idolized my father. .
340
00:16:25,634 --> 00:16:28,100
Once day, me and some friends,
we skipped school,
341
00:16:28,133 --> 00:16:30,067
and we were hanging out
in the city,
342
00:16:30,100 --> 00:16:32,968
and I saw him coming out of
a hotel, kissing another woman. .
343
00:16:34,701 --> 00:16:36,334
I never told anyone about it,
344
00:16:36,367 --> 00:16:38,868
and I never looked at him
the same way again.
345
00:16:38,901 --> 00:16:40,200
I know Wheeler's a sleaze,
346
00:16:40,234 --> 00:16:42,667
but I don't want his kids to
find out because of me. .
347
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:46,467
You've held on to this pain
for so long. .
348
00:16:46,501 --> 00:16:48,467
Go ahead. Let it out. .
349
00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:50,801
It's out. .
350
00:16:50,834 --> 00:16:52,501
That explains so much.
351
00:16:52,534 --> 00:16:56,400
I mean, do you think that's why
you're with so many women? .
352
00:16:56,434 --> 00:16:59,334
No, I just really like sex. .
353
00:16:59,367 --> 00:17:04,067
These pictures might be enough
to give us the election.
354
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,167
I'll leave it up to you. .
355
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:16,000
I want you to know that I was
a psych minor in college,
356
00:17:16,033 --> 00:17:18,133
and if you ever
want to sift through
357
00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,501
your repressed feelings
about your father...
358
00:17:20,534 --> 00:17:22,267
Charlie! .
359
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,000
Hey, Stuart. .
360
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:36,067
I was, uh, thinking about
what you said,
361
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,767
and you're right. .
362
00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:40,868
So you're gonna stop wearing
those red leather pants?
363
00:17:40,901 --> 00:17:43,601
I was so busy thinking about
my own problems,
364
00:17:43,634 --> 00:17:46,000
I couldn't see
how much this meant to you.
365
00:17:46,033 --> 00:17:48,300
I'm really happy you found
each other. .
366
00:17:48,334 --> 00:17:50,200
Really? .
367
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:51,767
Yeah. She's an amazing woman. .
368
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:53,400
She's way out of your league. .
369
00:17:53,434 --> 00:17:56,000
My mother said the same thing. .
370
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,367
What are those?
371
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,000
I've decided to search
for a new surrogate.
372
00:18:00,033 --> 00:18:03,033
I've divided them into three
separate categories...
373
00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:05,067
professionals, artists...
374
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:07,400
what are those?
Bad fashion sense. .
375
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:09,567
Hey, guys. .
376
00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:11,033
Hey, Michelle.
377
00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:12,901
Carter, I want you to know
378
00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:16,033
I've been up all night
thinking about your proposal. .
379
00:18:16,067 --> 00:18:19,734
It's a huge commitment,
both physically and emotionally.
380
00:18:19,767 --> 00:18:23,167
I'll probably be moody
all the time.
381
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,534
I'll be sick every morning. .
382
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:27,801
My breasts will get huge. .
383
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:33,400
There are a million reasons
why I shouldn't do this. .
384
00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:36,133
But I want to anyway. .
385
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:38,334
Why?
386
00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:39,601
I can't think of anyone
387
00:18:39,634 --> 00:18:41,968
who deserves to be a father
more than you do. .
388
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,968
And helping you get there
could be
389
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,534
one of the most important things
I ever do in my life. .
390
00:18:47,567 --> 00:18:49,300
You okay with that, Stuart? .
391
00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:50,801
Well, I thought about it,
392
00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:53,367
and if anybody has to knock up
my girlfriend,
393
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,267
I want it to be
my gay roommate. .
394
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:59,033
You know... In a strange way,
395
00:18:59,067 --> 00:19:02,000
that's beautiful.
396
00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:09,133
Charlie... .
397
00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:10,434
You look terrible.
398
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:12,267
I was out late with Mandy.
399
00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:15,067
I'm too old to be
fooling around in vans.
400
00:19:17,167 --> 00:19:19,200
I'm not 29 anymore. .
401
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:20,567
Here are the pictures. .
402
00:19:20,601 --> 00:19:22,667
Have you decided
what you want to do? .
403
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:25,701
No. I keep going back
and forth.
404
00:19:26,767 --> 00:19:28,968
So, Crawford...
405
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,634
I understand you have
some pictures. .
406
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,968
What do you plan to do
with them?
407
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,367
I'll tell you what I plan
to do with them.
408
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,234
I'm gonna send them
to the papers
409
00:19:38,267 --> 00:19:40,501
and watch you go down
in flames. .
410
00:19:40,534 --> 00:19:42,634
Then we've got nothing
to talk about. .
411
00:19:42,667 --> 00:19:44,767
Wait. .
412
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:47,467
Why should I stoop
to your level?
413
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:49,067
I'm not gonna use the pictures. .
414
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,400
Okay. .
415
00:19:50,434 --> 00:19:53,234
On the other hand...
416
00:19:53,267 --> 00:19:55,534
I'd do anything
to get Winston re-elected. .
417
00:19:55,567 --> 00:19:58,534
Then again, this is not how I
want to do it.
418
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:01,200
I'm lost. Are we using
the pictures or not?
419
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:02,501
I don't know.
420
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,701
I think I worked myself
into a corner. .
421
00:20:04,734 --> 00:20:06,868
How am I losing to you guys? .
422
00:20:08,367 --> 00:20:12,000
You've got kids, and they don't
need to know about this,
423
00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:14,968
so I'm not using the pictures. .
424
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,200
But... Oh, jeez!
425
00:20:18,234 --> 00:20:19,734
I'm not giving them to you
either. .
426
00:20:19,767 --> 00:20:22,701
If you take any more shots
at the mayor...
427
00:20:22,734 --> 00:20:24,400
I will bury you. .
428
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,100
Nice. .
429
00:20:26,133 --> 00:20:27,901
When I win,
430
00:20:27,934 --> 00:20:31,434
there may be a place for you
in my administration.
431
00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:36,834
I'm sorry I made this
so difficult.
432
00:20:36,868 --> 00:20:39,801
I never should have let
my... Personal issues
433
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:41,100
affect our work. .
434
00:20:41,133 --> 00:20:43,000
It's refreshing to see you
like that. .
435
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,033
On the outside, you have this
macho shell,
436
00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:46,701
and on the inside,
you have this... .
437
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:49,634
Creamy fruit filling? .
438
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:52,334
Sensitive side. .
439
00:20:52,367 --> 00:20:55,767
You have so many deep,
repressed issues. .
440
00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:57,234
Let it out. .
441
00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:59,767
It's out. .
442
00:21:03,601 --> 00:21:04,901
What do you think? .
443
00:21:04,934 --> 00:21:07,934
It's a very important debate.
We need something sharper. .
444
00:21:07,968 --> 00:21:11,000
How about this...
"Wheeler's mama is so fat...
445
00:21:11,033 --> 00:21:15,734
when she dances,
the radio station skips"? .
446
00:21:15,767 --> 00:21:17,634
Doesn't quite pop, does it? .
447
00:21:18,901 --> 00:21:20,801
Here we go...
"Wheeler's mama's so fat,
448
00:21:20,834 --> 00:21:23,067
on Halloween,
she says 'trick or meatloaf.'"
449
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,601
snap. .
450
00:21:28,634 --> 00:21:29,801
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
451
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:31,033
.
452
00:21:31,067 --> 00:21:33,534
Moo.
33884
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