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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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I've got a tape
I want you to see.
2
00:00:02,868 --> 00:00:04,534
Ooh, I hope it's
that croc hunter.
3
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:07,367
I tell you, that guy's nuts. .
4
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:09,267
Actually, it's
from "New York one." .
5
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:11,701
Citizens are not happy about
your relationship with Claire. .
6
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What do you think aboutthe mayor conducting an affair
7
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with a married womanat Gracie mansion?
8
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,634
I think it's a disgrace.
9
00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:20,434
I mean, the taxpayers' moneypaid for his home.
10
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I think it shows no class. .
11
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The man has no conceptof dignified behavior. .
12
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That broad needs to get some. .
13
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T-that's ridiculous. .
14
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Claire's just waiting for
her divorce to be finalized.
15
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I wouldn't put stock in these. .
16
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,767
What kind of people
hang out in central park
17
00:00:35,801 --> 00:00:37,300
in the middle of a workday? .
18
00:00:37,334 --> 00:00:38,634
Look who we have here. .
19
00:00:38,667 --> 00:00:40,300
Amy! Hey, what do you say? .
20
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Paul, what do you think
21
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,567
of the mayor bringing a marriedwoman back to Gracie mansion?
22
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I think it's terrible.Can you believe it?
23
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I mean, the guy's takinga public building,
24
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he's turning it intoa Roman bathhouse. .
25
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Of course, this isoff the record. .
26
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Actually,this is on the record. .
27
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The camera's right over there. .
28
00:01:01,567 --> 00:01:05,033
This might be a good time to
tell you about my twin brother. .
29
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So, how was your weekend? .
30
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Terrible. I went on three
dates... all disasters.
31
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I'm starting to wonder if there are
any quality single men in this city.
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I'm single. .
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Quali single men.
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I'm sorry,
I didn't hear that part. .
35
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Why do I think
that meeting some guy
36
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is going to complete my life? .
37
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You know, I am tired of guys.
38
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I say that all the time. .
39
00:01:56,667 --> 00:02:01,000
Then I watch Brad pitt in
"fight club" and I'm back in.
40
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:04,834
Caitlin, your problem is that
you don't understand men. .
41
00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:07,834
All they're interested in
is sports, booze, and women. .
42
00:02:07,868 --> 00:02:10,434
Wow, you even got
the order right.
43
00:02:12,934 --> 00:02:16,167
Caitlin, can I give you
a little advice? .
44
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No. And to top it off, I have to
go to a baby shower tonight. .
45
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What's wrong with that? .
46
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Everyone there will be married
with a family except for me.
47
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I'll go with you. But I have to
be back home by 10:00. .
48
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,734
Why? .
49
00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:33,067
"Fight club" is on. .
50
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:37,901
Every paper has a negative story
about us at the mansion. .
51
00:02:37,934 --> 00:02:40,033
Don't they have anything
else to write about? .
52
00:02:40,067 --> 00:02:42,367
Yeah, don't they know
that crime is up? .
53
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Turn the page. .
54
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There you go. .
55
00:02:49,267 --> 00:02:50,601
Sir, if I may,
56
00:02:50,634 --> 00:02:53,267
maybe you and judge Simmons
should find some place
57
00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,033
other than Gracie mansion
to spend your couple time. .
58
00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:58,767
It's the only place we can go
to get away from reporters. .
59
00:02:58,801 --> 00:03:00,601
If we go to my place,
they're there... .
60
00:03:00,634 --> 00:03:02,200
If we go to a restaurant,
they're there. .
61
00:03:02,234 --> 00:03:04,100
People are always
chasing after us,
62
00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:05,234
just like that poor princess.
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00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:06,400
Diana? .
64
00:03:06,434 --> 00:03:08,100
No... Leia. .
65
00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:14,067
Sir, we are in the middle
of an election. .
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00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:17,567
It might be wise to take some
time off from each other.
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00:03:17,601 --> 00:03:19,634
I don't think we should
let public opinion
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00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,801
dictate our relationship.
69
00:03:20,834 --> 00:03:22,734
I mean, what's the worst
that could happen? .
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00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:24,234
The mayor could
lose the election. .
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00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:26,200
Fine... then he'd
have more time
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00:03:26,234 --> 00:03:28,400
to focus on his
driftwood sculptures. .
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Just go with it...
she digs artists.
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00:03:36,567 --> 00:03:39,934
Randall, whatever you decide,
I'll support...
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00:03:39,968 --> 00:03:42,834
whether you're the mayor
or a sculptor
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00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:45,767
or even if you go back
to being a Navy seal. .
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Bye.
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00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:55,667
I've used that one.
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00:03:58,968 --> 00:04:02,100
So, sir, can you and Claire
spend some time apart?
80
00:04:02,133 --> 00:04:06,067
Charlie, I've waited a long time
to find a woman like that. .
81
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:09,667
The wine of my love
has been uncorked.
82
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,434
I've got to let it breathe. .
83
00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:16,067
Well, sometimes you
appreciate wine more
84
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:18,434
if you haven't had
a drink for a while. .
85
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:22,534
What if she goes looking
for another vintage? .
86
00:04:22,567 --> 00:04:24,901
Something more fragrant... .
87
00:04:24,934 --> 00:04:26,501
With a larger penis?
88
00:04:29,767 --> 00:04:32,467
I've said too much.
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00:04:34,434 --> 00:04:35,801
Yeah. .
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00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,868
Guys, there's someone
I'd like you to meet. .
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00:04:40,901 --> 00:04:42,801
This is Shelly, my publicist. .
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00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:44,834
You hired a publicist? .
93
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:46,701
Well, after that
"New York one" experience,
94
00:04:46,734 --> 00:04:49,400
I decided it was time
to improve my image.
95
00:04:49,434 --> 00:04:51,367
I want the public
to know the real me.
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00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,834
Paul, the fact that people don't know
the real you is your strongest asset. .
97
00:04:56,534 --> 00:04:59,400
Starting tomorrow,
we'll take this town by storm. .
98
00:04:59,434 --> 00:05:03,868
Oh. Check out
the getaway sticks on blondie.
99
00:05:05,133 --> 00:05:07,701
Paul... I can't believe
I'm going to say this...
100
00:05:07,734 --> 00:05:10,000
you're too big for this guy. .
101
00:05:10,033 --> 00:05:11,367
Shelly's gonna make me
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00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,634
one of the most
recognizable men in this city. .
103
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:14,834
How much are you paying him?
104
00:05:14,868 --> 00:05:16,300
I give him 5% of my earnings
105
00:05:16,334 --> 00:05:19,534
and I drive him
to the doctor twice a week.
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00:05:27,234 --> 00:05:29,868
Sir, I need your signature
on this letter.
107
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:32,501
I really miss Claire. .
108
00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:36,367
It's been eight hours. .
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That's like
three full workdays. .
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Oh, it's almost 2:00. .
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Next up,I've got a special request. .
112
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Running a cityis a lonely job...
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00:05:47,968 --> 00:05:49,834
especially without your lady. .
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So this one's going out fromthe mayor of love town
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to judge Claire bear.
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00:05:55,601 --> 00:05:58,901
♪ baby, I'm-a want you ♪
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♪ baby, I'm-a need you ♪
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00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:06,868
♪ you're the only one I careenough to hurt abo ♪ t
119
00:06:06,901 --> 00:06:09,467
nothing tugs
on your heartstrings
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00:06:09,501 --> 00:06:12,100
like a group of men
singing like women. .
121
00:06:13,801 --> 00:06:16,467
Sir, I don't want you
to be unhappy. .
122
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,934
If you have to see Claire,
just be discreet. .
123
00:06:18,968 --> 00:06:22,100
Maybe take her out of town
or go to a friend's house. .
124
00:06:22,133 --> 00:06:26,467
That's good advice, Charlie.
I feel better already.
125
00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:28,868
♪ ...Used to be my life was justemotions passing by ♪
126
00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:31,801
* emotions passing by
127
00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:33,367
I'm gonna go now, sir.
128
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:39,100
♪ feeling all the while,but never really knowing why ♪
129
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,234
mmm... Peaches and apricots. .
130
00:06:45,267 --> 00:06:47,634
No, wait... peaches
and strawberries? .
131
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:48,767
Right! .
132
00:06:48,801 --> 00:06:50,300
Oh, good. .
133
00:06:50,334 --> 00:06:53,000
Okay. Now your turn. .
134
00:06:55,934 --> 00:06:59,267
Mm! Mm! Mm! Could be squash. .
135
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,434
Hmm, there's
a hint of fennel... .
136
00:07:01,467 --> 00:07:04,334
With a white truffle infusion. .
137
00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:06,434
It's stewed peas.
138
00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,767
I was getting there. .
139
00:07:08,801 --> 00:07:11,434
Okay, now let's open the gifts. .
140
00:07:11,467 --> 00:07:13,901
Look at
the little baby booties. .
141
00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,300
Look at the little, little... .
142
00:07:16,334 --> 00:07:18,067
What happened to my friends? .
143
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:20,601
They used to be intelligent,
independent women. .
144
00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:23,567
They get near a baby and
they lose all ability to speak. .
145
00:07:23,601 --> 00:07:26,100
Ooh, look at the baby booties,
booties, booties. .
146
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:27,968
Baby booties, oh. .
147
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,868
If I ever talk like that,
you have permission to slap me.
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00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:32,734
I have to go to
the ladies' room. .
149
00:07:32,767 --> 00:07:34,033
Can you hold Jackson? .
150
00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,567
Oh, I don't know
if I'm comfortable...
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00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:37,234
oh, you'll be fine. .
152
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,067
Oh. Oh, you know what?
153
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,968
I don't think he
likes me very much. .
154
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,300
You want me to take him?
That's a good idea. .
155
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:47,567
Oh, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. .
156
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,801
Oh, my gosh. .
157
00:07:48,834 --> 00:07:50,234
You're smiling at me. .
158
00:07:50,267 --> 00:07:52,100
Yes, you did! .
159
00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:54,734
Yes, you did! .
160
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:57,567
Oh, what a little cutsie,
wootsie baby!
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00:07:57,601 --> 00:07:59,534
I'll slap you when you
put the baby down. .
162
00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:03,534
Oh, he's such
a little angel. Oh.
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00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,033
I'm back. Thanks, Caitlin. .
164
00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,534
No, I'm fine. .
165
00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:08,033
No, really, I'd like him back. .
166
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:10,534
Oh, you get him all the time. .
167
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,367
That is a gorgeous baby. .
168
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:16,133
Thank you. Thank you. .
169
00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:32,133
And... Baseball.
170
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:53,267
Sir, what are you doing here? .
171
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,334
Remember when you
said Claire and I
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00:08:55,367 --> 00:08:58,400
needed to be more discreet...
maybe go to a friend's house? .
173
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:01,434
Yeah. .
174
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,400
Hey, friend. .
175
00:09:10,434 --> 00:09:12,033
What's rags doing here?
176
00:09:12,067 --> 00:09:14,667
I thought he was shooting
a dog-food commercial.
177
00:09:14,701 --> 00:09:16,133
Carter stormed off the set
178
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:19,000
over creative differences. .
179
00:09:19,033 --> 00:09:21,901
Rags isn't going
to play second fiddle
180
00:09:21,934 --> 00:09:23,934
to some...
Taco-eating chihuahua! .
181
00:09:23,968 --> 00:09:26,067
You know what rags needs? .
182
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,501
A good publicist. .
183
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,167
"Shelly hallerman...
184
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,567
"for all your u.S.O. Needs. .
185
00:09:33,601 --> 00:09:38,167
Our performers
will fly to Korea." .
186
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,033
Keep it. .
187
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,767
Hey, Charlie, how about
that game last night?!
188
00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:45,968
I didn't see it. .
189
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,801
The mayor came by with Claire
190
00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:50,634
and "Claire bear" wanted
to watch the food network. .
191
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:52,801
But don't talk about
the game... I taped it. .
192
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,534
Oh, Charlie, Charlie...
193
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:57,868
Claire and I really appreciate
you letting us hang out
194
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,434
at your place last night. .
195
00:09:59,467 --> 00:10:01,133
My place is your place. .
196
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:04,167
Great, 'cause I had a key made. .
197
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,601
Oh, listen...
198
00:10:05,634 --> 00:10:09,467
by the way, I had your security
code changed to my birthday... .
199
00:10:10,501 --> 00:10:12,434
Easier for me to remember. .
200
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:14,634
When is your birthday, sir? .
201
00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:17,400
Oh, Charlie, you don't need
to get me anything.
202
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:19,701
I'm already staying
at your place.
203
00:10:21,067 --> 00:10:24,133
Carter, thank you for coming
to the baby shower with me. .
204
00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:26,067
You didn't want to go and you
ended up having a great time. .
205
00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:30,234
But it was more than that.
It really made me think. .
206
00:10:30,267 --> 00:10:32,300
In fact, I've got
some big news. .
207
00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:34,300
Is it bigger than
the mayor and his girlfriend
208
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:35,701
moving into my apartment?
209
00:10:35,734 --> 00:10:37,834
I'm having a baby. .
210
00:10:37,868 --> 00:10:40,000
So, yes. .
211
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,033
You're pregnant? No. .
212
00:10:48,067 --> 00:10:50,868
Phew! .
213
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,200
Why are you so relieved?
We never had sex. .
214
00:10:53,234 --> 00:10:56,033
Force of habit.
215
00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:01,467
Caitlin, when did
you make this decision? .
216
00:11:01,501 --> 00:11:02,968
When I was holding
Jill's baby,
217
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,834
it made me realize
what I'd been missing. .
218
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:06,400
Drool?
219
00:11:06,434 --> 00:11:10,167
'Cause if that's what you're
missing, just go wink at Stuart. .
220
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,067
So, you're planning to have
a baby by yourself? .
221
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:16,067
Why should I hold up my life
for some man I may never meet? .
222
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,367
There are other options. .
223
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:19,067
Yes, there are. .
224
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:23,334
And I want you to know it would
be an honor to impregnate you. .
225
00:11:24,901 --> 00:11:28,534
I can assure you the experience
will be fast and efficient. .
226
00:11:28,567 --> 00:11:30,367
Your pleasure
will be minimal... .
227
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:34,734
And I will only be as
excited as is necessary.
228
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:36,167
I'm flattered. .
229
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,801
But it's my
responsibility as a woman
230
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:41,200
to make sure you
never reproduce. .
231
00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:44,934
Point taken.
232
00:11:44,968 --> 00:11:46,434
I think this is wonderful. .
233
00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:48,968
Imagine... being responsible
for another person,
234
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,033
feeding them,
cleaning up after them,
235
00:11:51,067 --> 00:11:53,133
laying their clothes out
in the morning.
236
00:11:53,167 --> 00:11:56,601
I have that now with the mayor.
It ain't that great. .
237
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:02,701
So, Carter, I'm not crazy, right?
I can do this. Absolutely.
238
00:12:02,734 --> 00:12:04,968
I've just never taken care
of anyone before. .
239
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,200
Why don't you take rags
for a couple of days? .
240
00:12:07,234 --> 00:12:08,467
He might give you a sense
241
00:12:08,501 --> 00:12:10,267
of what it feels like
to be a parent. .
242
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,167
How? .
243
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,767
If you can take care of him,
a kid will be a breeze. .
244
00:12:14,801 --> 00:12:17,167
Fine. Hand him over. .
245
00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,634
Great! .
246
00:12:18,667 --> 00:12:20,934
These are his medications. .
247
00:12:20,968 --> 00:12:24,601
Now, the green one
gives him a healthy coat. .
248
00:12:24,634 --> 00:12:27,133
The yellow one is for his eyes. .
249
00:12:27,167 --> 00:12:29,634
And the red one
is for his tooth.
250
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:37,167
Shelly and I just closed
a major deal this morning. .
251
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,968
By this time next week,
every bus in this city
252
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,767
is gonna have a 5x10-foot photo
of my face on it. .
253
00:12:42,801 --> 00:12:45,100
So it'll be actual size? .
254
00:12:45,133 --> 00:12:47,968
Ha ha, what, are you jealous,
Mr. small potatoes? .
255
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,601
You're looking at the spokesman
256
00:12:49,634 --> 00:12:52,234
for the department of
education's new ad campaign,
257
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:55,000
and look... This is my first check.
How much?
258
00:12:55,033 --> 00:12:59,467
I will put it in terms that you
can understand, Stuart. .
259
00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:01,567
It's roughly 35 lap dances.
260
00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:04,300
$723?!
261
00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,300
Here comes the choo-choo. .
262
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:10,367
Chugga chugga chugga chugga,
chugga chugga chugga chugga. .
263
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:12,567
Why won't you eat?
You're acting crazy. .
264
00:13:12,601 --> 00:13:15,501
Yeah, the dog's the crazy one. .
265
00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,000
Lower your voice. .
266
00:13:17,033 --> 00:13:19,200
Why? Rags is finicky. .
267
00:13:19,234 --> 00:13:21,000
He won't eat
if there's too much noise. .
268
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:24,367
Are you kidding me?
The dog is deaf. .
269
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,667
Those ears are
completely decorative. .
270
00:13:27,701 --> 00:13:28,834
Watch this. .
271
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:32,701
Aaaaaaaaaaaahh!
272
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:41,934
Stop it! You don't know what
I've been through with this dog. .
273
00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:44,234
He wouldn't take his bath,
he won't take his pills,
274
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:47,000
and now I can't get him to eat.
Eat, rags, eat. .
275
00:13:47,033 --> 00:13:49,033
Keep it up... he won't call you
when he gets to college. .
276
00:13:49,067 --> 00:13:50,467
It's not so easy. .
277
00:13:50,501 --> 00:13:52,534
You try getting him
to do something.
278
00:13:52,567 --> 00:13:55,767
I'm sorry I'm not being
that understanding. .
279
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:59,434
Thanks to the mayor,
I haven't slept in two nights. .
280
00:13:59,467 --> 00:14:01,000
The guy is totally in my space.
281
00:14:01,033 --> 00:14:04,767
Charlie, you have to talk to him
before it gets out of control. .
282
00:14:04,801 --> 00:14:07,133
It's the first time the guy's
been happy in years. .
283
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:09,601
Do you want me to crush him
in the middle of an election?
284
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,934
That's probably him paging me.
285
00:14:12,968 --> 00:14:15,200
I got a meeting to go to. .
286
00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:16,767
Where's my pager? .
287
00:14:16,801 --> 00:14:20,033
Oh, it was on
the table next to rags.
288
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:31,801
I've got an emergency.
My dog just swallowed a pager. .
289
00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:33,601
Are you sure?
290
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,100
I'll get a doctor. .
291
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:49,300
Oh, God, please be okay.
What happened? .
292
00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:52,000
Oh, well, I had three horrible
dates last weekend,
293
00:14:52,033 --> 00:14:54,133
and I went to this baby shower
with my friend Carter,
294
00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:56,501
and I thought I wanted a baby,
so I took rags,
295
00:14:56,534 --> 00:14:58,901
and Charlie screamed at him,
and then he ate a pager,
296
00:14:58,934 --> 00:15:00,667
and now I'm never going to be
a mother! .
297
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:02,801
Dogs swallow
things all the time. .
298
00:15:02,834 --> 00:15:04,534
Doctors will get
that out in minutes. .
299
00:15:04,567 --> 00:15:07,000
Now, just take
some deep breaths. .
300
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:11,734
That helps. .
301
00:15:11,767 --> 00:15:13,567
When I was in law school,
302
00:15:13,601 --> 00:15:16,868
this guy ate the passenger
seat to my v.W. Rabbit. .
303
00:15:16,901 --> 00:15:18,534
Really? .
304
00:15:18,567 --> 00:15:20,801
So you're a lawyer. .
305
00:15:24,901 --> 00:15:27,167
That restaurant was great,
Charlie. .
306
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,934
Well, the night isn't over. .
307
00:15:28,968 --> 00:15:33,400
Are you interested in some soft
music and a little wine? .
308
00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:37,868
No, but I'd like
to fool around. .
309
00:15:37,901 --> 00:15:39,734
Let's go with yours. .
310
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:43,133
Hey, Charlie. .
311
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:45,167
You're just in time for
some cheese fondue. .
312
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,367
It's a lot of fun. .
313
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:49,634
But what a mess, huh? See? .
314
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,634
That keeps happening.
315
00:15:52,667 --> 00:15:54,801
Charlie, I have
to get up early. .
316
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:58,634
Why don't I go and you stay here
and hang out with your parents? .
317
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,901
They're not my parents. .
318
00:16:00,934 --> 00:16:02,634
Good night,
Mr. and Mrs. Crawford.
319
00:16:03,968 --> 00:16:07,501
Hey, pull up a seat...
we'll start a new jenga. .
320
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,868
No, I think I'll just
go to my room
321
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:12,467
and watch the tape
of last night's game. .
322
00:16:12,501 --> 00:16:15,801
Was that labeled "yankees/
Red Sox, do not erase"? .
323
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:19,334
Yes, it was. Why? .
324
00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:22,334
Well, we accidentally
taped over it. .
325
00:16:22,367 --> 00:16:25,367
But if you want to watch "Dawson's"
later, you're good to go. .
326
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,167
Get out. What? .
327
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:33,033
Get your stuff, get your fondue,
get your jenga, get out.
328
00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,868
Charlie, it was just
a baseball game. .
329
00:16:34,901 --> 00:16:38,200
It's not just the game.
It's my apartment. .
330
00:16:38,234 --> 00:16:42,701
This isn't city hall.
This is my home.
331
00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:45,567
I've got hot cheese. .
332
00:16:45,601 --> 00:16:47,567
Put the cheese down, Claire.
We're leaving. .
333
00:16:47,601 --> 00:16:49,300
All right. .
334
00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:53,634
You can have your keys back.
335
00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:55,734
I won't be bothering
you anymore.
336
00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,067
I feel like such a failure. .
337
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:08,767
All I had to do was take care
of rags for one day,
338
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:09,901
and I couldn't do it. .
339
00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:12,100
Who am I kidding?
I am not ready for this. .
340
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:13,534
Don't give up so easily. .
341
00:17:13,567 --> 00:17:15,234
You had one crisis.
You handled it well. .
342
00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:17,834
When I was at the hospital,
I was freaking out and...
343
00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:20,667
and there was this really nice
guy that helped me through it,
344
00:17:20,701 --> 00:17:22,968
and it made me realize
that when I have a baby,
345
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,234
I don't want to do it alone. .
346
00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:27,234
Okay. No, I-I-it makes...
it makes sense. .
347
00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:28,901
What's wrong?
348
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:31,100
I got to admit...
349
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:34,000
I'm a little disappointed.
350
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:36,901
I thought if you had a child,
351
00:17:36,934 --> 00:17:41,000
I could do everything
that a father does, you know... .
352
00:17:41,033 --> 00:17:45,701
Take the kid to the salon... .
353
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:48,334
Dance class, shopping... .
354
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:51,767
And if it was a girl,
I could learn.
355
00:17:51,801 --> 00:17:55,467
Carter, have you ever thought
about having a baby yourself? .
356
00:17:55,501 --> 00:17:58,334
It's crossed my mind.
But it would never work.
357
00:17:58,367 --> 00:18:00,767
I mean, I'm single,
I have a career. .
358
00:18:00,801 --> 00:18:04,100
Besides, do you know how hard it
is for a gay man to adopt? .
359
00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:06,968
Those are just excuses.
You're a born nurturer. .
360
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Right now there is
a kid out there
361
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,634
who would be so lucky
to have you as their dad. .
362
00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:13,334
You really think so? .
363
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:15,667
Of course.
You've had enough practice. .
364
00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:17,000
You treat that dog
as if it were a child. .
365
00:18:17,033 --> 00:18:19,901
One time, I made him
little pants. .
366
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:28,601
Hello, Charlie. I want to apologize
on behalf of both of us. .
367
00:18:28,634 --> 00:18:30,701
Sometimes Randall can be
a little insensitive. .
368
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:32,100
Hear! Hear! .
369
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:36,133
He grew up with a silver spoon,
and quite frankly,
370
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:37,701
he can be selfish. .
371
00:18:37,734 --> 00:18:39,000
Guilty as charged. .
372
00:18:39,033 --> 00:18:41,100
People give, he takes. .
373
00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:43,734
And takes... And takes...
And ta...
374
00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:45,400
let's wrap this up.
375
00:18:46,868 --> 00:18:48,968
Charlie, I really am sorry.
376
00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:58,033
Charlie, I really meant...
Everything that Claire said.
377
00:18:58,067 --> 00:19:01,100
I guess I should
apologize, too.
378
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:03,634
I did overreact last night. .
379
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:07,234
If I was bothering you, why
didn't you just say something?
380
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:08,834
I mean, you of all people
381
00:19:08,868 --> 00:19:11,834
know how oblivious I am
to other people's suffering. .
382
00:19:11,868 --> 00:19:14,634
It's not my style
to complain...
383
00:19:14,667 --> 00:19:16,434
especially to my boss.
384
00:19:16,467 --> 00:19:18,934
I'm not just your boss,
I'm your friend. .
385
00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:22,133
And friends should be able
to tell each other anything...
386
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:23,367
even if it's bad. .
387
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,300
Now, come... come on. .
388
00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:30,000
Tell me something
I don't want to hear. .
389
00:19:30,033 --> 00:19:33,367
Let's not go down this path.
390
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,667
I'll go first. Um...
391
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:41,033
Charlie, sometimes you go
a little nuts with the hair gel. .
392
00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:43,367
Okay. .
393
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,267
See? Ha ha. .
394
00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:47,934
Sir? .
395
00:19:47,968 --> 00:19:49,234
Uh-huh? .
396
00:19:49,267 --> 00:19:52,067
"Furthertheless" is not a word. .
397
00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:55,400
Stop using it. .
398
00:19:55,434 --> 00:19:59,534
You breathe too loud.
399
00:19:59,567 --> 00:20:03,901
I don't like it when you
talk to me at the urinal. .
400
00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:06,534
You come in late every day. .
401
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:09,234
That's you. .
402
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:12,200
Oh, yeah.
403
00:20:12,234 --> 00:20:13,934
I don't think this is helping. .
404
00:20:13,968 --> 00:20:16,267
No, this is good... as mayor,
I'm constantly surrounded
405
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,501
by people who tell me
what I want to hear.
406
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:20,868
I've got a million friends... .
407
00:20:20,901 --> 00:20:23,434
But not a lot of close friends. .
408
00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:27,467
I was hoping you could
be one, Charlie.
409
00:20:27,501 --> 00:20:29,901
I'd be honored. .
410
00:20:29,934 --> 00:20:33,267
And I'll try to be one, too. .
411
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:34,667
Hey, buddy. .
412
00:20:37,801 --> 00:20:39,033
Tell you what...
413
00:20:39,067 --> 00:20:41,634
I'll buy you a drink
at my favorite cigar bar. .
414
00:20:41,667 --> 00:20:45,300
Uh, to be honest, sir,
cigar bars are pretty lame.
415
00:20:45,334 --> 00:20:46,701
Crawford, I'm your boss.
416
00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:49,100
I'll see you at
the Cuban room in 20 minutes.
417
00:20:50,868 --> 00:20:54,367
Charlie, Carter has big news. .
418
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:57,033
Is it bigger than the mayor
and Claire leaving my apartment?
419
00:20:57,067 --> 00:20:59,701
I'm gonna have a baby.
420
00:20:59,734 --> 00:21:01,400
I gotta stop asking
that question. .
421
00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,767
Oh, what is with the hat?
422
00:21:10,801 --> 00:21:14,133
I'm incognito. Why? .
423
00:21:14,167 --> 00:21:17,601
When the buses with my face
on it hit the streets,
424
00:21:17,634 --> 00:21:19,434
I'm gonna be
an instant celebrity. .
425
00:21:19,467 --> 00:21:22,467
You're gonna wish you were me. .
426
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:31,000
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
427
00:21:32,267 --> 00:21:34,734
Moo.
32822
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