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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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I'm very pleased
to kick off this year's
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"bring your daughter
to work day."
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I think it's wonderful
to celebrate the bond
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which is shared
between parent and child. .
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Where's your daughter today,
sir? .
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Uh...
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Amsterdam?! What the hell
is she doing there? .
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Sir, it's Amsterdam. .
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She's probably... .
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At a museum. .
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We feel today is an opportunity
to inspire young women. .
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It's also a great chance
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for them to see where
their fathers go every day. .
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Couldn't their mothers
bring them?
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I don't care how they get there.
The important thing
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is for them to see how their
daddies bring home the bacon. .
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Well... .
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00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:08,400
My lifelong dream
has been realized. .
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What happened? .
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Someone hire you to write porn? .
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Yes. .
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Face five productions
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has commissioned me
to write a script...
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you know, the way
the crowned heads of Europe
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used to commission Mozart
to write operas. .
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Yes, it's the exact same thing. .
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After years of rejection,
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my words will finally be coming
out of naked people's mouths. .
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Just do not involve me. .
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First I need a title. .
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00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:42,067
How about
"the French erection"? .
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Did you hear that channel 7
just said that my comments about
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the "bring your daughter
to work" day
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showed that I had
a '50s mentality. .
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That's poppycock. .
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They're just a bunch
of communists, sir. .
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Really? I'll have
to update my list. .
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A representative from
the woman's action committee
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00:02:01,534 --> 00:02:03,534
is here to talk about
your press conference.
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I can't right now.
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00:02:04,868 --> 00:02:06,801
I have a meeting
with Daniel Bryant. .
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00:02:06,834 --> 00:02:08,267
Oh, Daniel...
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he's donating some
waterfront property to the city.
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Charlie? .
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Angry feminist,
rich guy giving away land. .
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That was easy. .
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I am so sorry about the mayor's
comments this morning. .
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Trust me... he's very concerned
about women's issues. .
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Where is the mayor now? .
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00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,968
He's in a meeting with
a real-estate developer. .
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00:02:31,033 --> 00:02:33,601
Typical! He sends in the little
woman to take care of me. .
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City hall has always been
a boys' club. .
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That's not true. .
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Sorry to interrupt, gals. .
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The mayor and I really wanted
to take part in this meeting,
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but something urgent came up. .
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Don't forget
the cigars, Charlie!
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00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:58,534
Stuart, let me ask you
something. .
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How much money do you get paid
for writing a porno?
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00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:04,133
Paul, this isn't about money. .
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It's about creating something
that I can be proud of. .
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When people think
quality erotica,
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I want them to think of
jet runyon. .
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Who's jet runyon?
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I'm not dumb enough
to use my real name.
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00:03:17,334 --> 00:03:18,767
Charlie, I'm in a bind.
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I've been gunning for my club's
golf trophy for nine years,
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but this year's tournament
is father and son. .
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How would you
like to be my son? .
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According to my dad,
I'm no son of his. .
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Sorry, I don't play golf.
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I do. I love golf. .
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What about you, Stuart?
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I've gotta finish some work,
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so I have time
to write an adult film. .
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Got ya! .
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In fact, I live for golf. .
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What about you, Carter? .
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Sir, I don't think people
are gonna believe I'm your son. .
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Couldn't you just pretend to be
straight for one afternoon? .
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Lovin' golf over here. .
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Sir, why don't you take Paul?
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I think he might like golf. .
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He does? .
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What's your handicap? .
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00:04:06,734 --> 00:04:09,067
He's Paul.
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Caitlin, we ordered you lunch. .
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You chose a restaurant
without consulting me?
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00:04:17,534 --> 00:04:19,133
I ran into Carter
in the men's room. .
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00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:20,701
He said, "let's order lunch." .
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00:04:20,734 --> 00:04:23,934
That's where decisions are being
made... in the men's room? .
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00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:28,000
Yeah. We drafted a new
anticrime bill in stall 3.
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Caitlin, we ordered you
a Cobb salad. .
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So now you can read
my weak, female mind? .
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You always order a Cobb salad. .
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00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,467
Whose side are you on?! .
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00:04:41,767 --> 00:04:45,501
What other decisions have been
made that I should know about? .
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We decided to build
basketball courts
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on the land
Bryant gave to the city. .
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00:04:49,467 --> 00:04:51,200
You should have waited
to hear my idea. .
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Okay, what's your idea? .
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We should build... .
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An interactive center
for the arts. .
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Interactive center
for the arts... what's that? .
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What's basketball?
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I think you're getting
a little worked up over this. .
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00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,601
Watch out...
the woman's getting emotional. .
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Are you afraid
I'm gonna freak out?! .
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No, I think we're past that. .
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Tell you what...
you make your proposal,
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and I'll make mine,
and we'll let Bryant choose. .
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Fine. .
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Hello!
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Caitlin, thanks for taking that
meeting with Karen this morning. .
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Oh, I like that top. .
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You look cute today. .
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Sir, I find that offensive.
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I mean, I never hear you say
Charlie looks cute. .
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You're absolutely right.
I apologize.
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Charlie, you look cute. .
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Thank you, sir. .
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You look pretty cute yourself. .
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No sale, Crawford.
I don't ride that bike. .
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Way to go, son.
I'm really proud of you. .
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00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:11,701
Let's see what
those Winston boys can do. .
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Watch me closely, Paul.
You'll learn a thing or two. .
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The world's finest private
instructors have taught me
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not to overthink my swing... .
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Bend my knees... .
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Tilt my head 15 degrees...
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don't overswing. .
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Ahh! .
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Come on, Winston!
What are you doing?!
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I hate you! I hate you! .
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You're up, Paul.
Try not to embarrass us.
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I'll do my best. .
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It's gonna be a long day
for you, Winston. .
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Holy cow! .
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That's my boy. .
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"Oh, yeah. .
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That's it... Baby." .
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Damn!
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Carter, you're smart.
Help me out here. .
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Oh, no, no.
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I'm not helping you
write that filth. .
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Fine. .
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"Yes. .
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Give it to me." .
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That's not right! .
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How about,
"let me give it to you"? .
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That's brilliant. .
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Really? .
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Read the whole thing
and tell me what you think.
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I don't know if I have time. .
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It'll take 10 minutes...
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they only allow me 2 lines
of dialogue per page. .
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On one condition. Anything. .
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Give me
one of those fake names. .
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Lance buckskin. .
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00:07:59,534 --> 00:08:02,934
Oooh! I'm in.
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00:08:02,968 --> 00:08:04,667
Paul, you were fantastic...
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00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,667
the way you drove the ball,
the way you putted,
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they way you retrieved
my 7-iron. .
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It was a short swim, sir. .
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It was great having you
as my "son." .
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00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,067
It was great fun
having you as my "dad." .
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You know...
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that's a beautiful trophy. .
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Ah-ah. Paul was talking. .
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What were you saying? .
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Well...
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I remember
I was saying something
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and then I lost
my concentration. .
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Now my mind
is a complete blank. .
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00:08:34,367 --> 00:08:36,567
Chip off the old block. .
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00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:43,901
Hey, if you were building
an art center,
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00:08:43,934 --> 00:08:46,033
would you put in
a sculpture courtyard? .
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00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,601
Yeah. I think so. Thanks. .
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00:08:48,634 --> 00:08:51,934
If you were jumping into
a hot tub with four other women,
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00:08:51,968 --> 00:08:54,767
would you take your top off
before you got in? .
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Yeah, I think so. .
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Thanks. .
183
00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:07,767
So the chief says,
"death by unga-bunga." .
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00:09:12,901 --> 00:09:14,234
You get it? .
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00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:15,634
Yeah. .
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How often?
187
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Caitlin, this is Daniel Bryant. .
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Nice to meet you.
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I'm looking forward
to our meeting tomorrow. .
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00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,634
No need...
Charlie's already told me
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00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,834
about his plans
for the basketball courts.
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00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,400
I think it's fantastic.
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00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:32,501
I've got a few more questions
for you. .
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00:09:32,534 --> 00:09:34,868
Why don't you follow me
into the men's room? .
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00:09:34,901 --> 00:09:36,968
No sale.
I don't ride that bike. .
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Boy, did I just get screwed. .
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Ooh!
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I can use that.
199
00:09:56,033 --> 00:09:57,534
Charlie, we need to talk. .
200
00:09:57,567 --> 00:09:59,534
You know I admire you
professionally. .
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00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:01,167
You know I respect you...
202
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,701
morning, Caitlin. .
203
00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:05,067
You suck!
204
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,200
I know Cindy's your friend,
205
00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:09,501
but we had a couple of drinks. .
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00:10:09,534 --> 00:10:11,634
One thing led to another...
207
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:12,868
what? .
208
00:10:12,901 --> 00:10:14,567
Nothing.
209
00:10:14,601 --> 00:10:18,367
I can't believe you went
behind my back last night.
210
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,033
I ran into Bryant
on the way out. .
211
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:22,033
He asked me to go
to the Knicks game. .
212
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,467
It I a boys' club...
you go to a basketball game,
213
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:26,667
have a few beers,
high-five when they score. .
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00:10:26,701 --> 00:10:28,167
It's not like that. .
215
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,834
Only idiots high-five. .
216
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:34,667
I raise the roof
and point to God.
217
00:10:34,701 --> 00:10:37,067
I work my butt off
putting together a proposal,
218
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:39,567
and your idea slides through
because you're a man. .
219
00:10:39,601 --> 00:10:42,300
Don't act like there aren't
advantages to being a woman. .
220
00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:44,968
When's the last time a cop
gave you a speeding ticket? .
221
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,067
They don't give tickets,
they give warnings. .
222
00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:54,133
Then you have a follow-up dinner
to discuss traffic safety.
223
00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:56,133
Bryant liked my proposal
for one reason...
224
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:57,567
it's a great idea. .
225
00:10:57,601 --> 00:10:59,934
He liked it because
he didn't hear my idea.
226
00:10:59,968 --> 00:11:03,367
I'm going out with him tonight.
You're welcome to tag along. .
227
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,601
Fine!
I'll beat you at your own game. .
228
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:07,400
You can't handle my game. .
229
00:11:07,434 --> 00:11:09,801
You wanna get tough? .
230
00:11:09,834 --> 00:11:12,567
You wanna play hardware?