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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Morning...
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Sir. .
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Good morning, Caitlin. .
4
00:00:11,801 --> 00:00:13,267
Mr. mayor.
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Carter. .
6
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Morning, everyone. .
7
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Morning. Morning. .
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Sir. .
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So, we're not talking
about the mayor's outfit? .
10
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What's wrong with it? .
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Nothing... .
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If you're selling
customized vans.
13
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,300
I ran out of clean clothes. .
14
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My housekeeper of 20 years
quit last week. .
15
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All she left was a note saying,
16
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"goodbye, Randall. You're out
of paper towels and ajax." .
17
00:00:41,934 --> 00:00:44,968
Don't worry, sir... we'll find
you someone else right away. .
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00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,033
Oh, look...
one of my old business cards. .
19
00:00:50,167 --> 00:00:53,467
"Randy Winston, capricorn." .
20
00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:56,167
It was just a gag. .
21
00:00:58,167 --> 00:00:59,267
Hey... .
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What's your sign? .
23
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Aries. .
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00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:03,934
Ooh, perfect. .
25
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I don't need excuses, Phil.
I need those runways cleared. .
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00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,501
You know, 6 months ago
when you started...
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00:01:37,534 --> 00:01:40,634
you get those snowplows
out to the airport now,
28
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,701
or I'm going to give
20,000 stranded travelers
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00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:45,367
your home phone number. .
30
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,000
You know, Charlie,
6 months ago when you...
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councilman Phillips
wants approval
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for a new office park. .
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Tell that blowhard
he'll get approval
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00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:55,367
when he backs
the low-income housing plan. .
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00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:56,501
Ahem... .
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00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,067
You know, Charlie...
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00:01:58,100 --> 00:01:59,067
ah.
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00:01:59,100 --> 00:02:02,033
6 months ago
when I started here... .
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Go on. .
40
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:08,834
That's where you left off. .
41
00:02:08,868 --> 00:02:11,367
Ah, yes... 6 months ago...
When you...
42
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,000
I had my doubts...
a lot of people did. .
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00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:17,100
They said that you threw away
a promising career. .
44
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They said you were washed up. .
45
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They said you were a loser. .
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Who are these people? .
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And you proved them wrong,
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so as a small token
of my gratitude,
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I'd like you to have this. .
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I... sir... .
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That's your Sandy koufax
autographed baseball. .
52
00:02:33,067 --> 00:02:34,701
I-I can't accept that.
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00:02:34,734 --> 00:02:36,734
I know how much you admire it.
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I want you to have it. .
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I don't know what to say. .
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You just keep up the good work. .
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Oh, and by the way,
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00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,267
thanks for finding me a suit
on such short notice.
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00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,868
I can be pretty resourceful
when I need to be.
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00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,734
I'm sorry I'm late. .
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00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:05,100
Do you realize this ball is from
koufax's perfect game in '65? .
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00:03:05,133 --> 00:03:06,767
What's the big deal? .
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It's just a baseball. .
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It's worth $15,000. .
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It's so beautiful. .
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Hey, Charlie! .
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Up for the big poker game
tonight? .
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00:03:18,367 --> 00:03:19,901
Sorry, I got plans. .
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00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:22,033
You always have plans
on poker night.
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00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:25,033
I get it... you just don't want
to hang out with us. .
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00:03:25,067 --> 00:03:27,701
What's the matter...
we too nerdy? .
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Too unskilled with the ladies? .
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Does it embarrass you
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00:03:31,968 --> 00:03:35,000
when we steal rolls
in restaurants? .
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00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:36,701
No, that's not it. .
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00:03:36,734 --> 00:03:38,734
What is it? .
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00:03:38,767 --> 00:03:40,667
It's nothing. Where's the game? .
78
00:03:42,234 --> 00:03:44,801
It's at my place, isn't it?
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00:03:44,834 --> 00:03:46,968
8:00. See ya there, Chuck. .
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Ball! .
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00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:52,000
Just one night of poker
with the guys... .
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No big deal. .
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00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:54,701
Why would it be? .
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00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,200
Well, I used to have
a little problem with gambling. .
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Define "little."
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I'd get carried away,
87
00:04:00,434 --> 00:04:02,400
and then so would
most of my furniture. .
88
00:04:02,434 --> 00:04:05,767
Why don't you just tell them?
They'll understand. .
89
00:04:05,801 --> 00:04:07,767
It means a lot to them
if I hang out with them. .
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00:04:07,801 --> 00:04:09,767
Besides,
I got it under control.
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00:04:09,801 --> 00:04:12,601
I'm gonna sit there, purposely
lose a couple of hands,
92
00:04:12,634 --> 00:04:14,400
drink a few beers,
and that's it. .
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Is there any vice
you haven't indulged in? .
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00:04:31,067 --> 00:04:33,167
What are you doing?! .
95
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,701
Microwaving my coffee,
like the can-do guy that I am. .
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00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,901
Did you leave a spoon in there
or something? .
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00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:44,467
Nope, we're okay. .
98
00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:47,000
Sir, you are too busy
to be doing this. .
99
00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:49,300
We really have to find you
a new housekeeper. .
100
00:04:49,334 --> 00:04:52,400
Nonsense! Losing my housekeeper
was a blessing in disguise. .
101
00:04:52,434 --> 00:04:54,834
It's high time
I became more self-sufficient. .
102
00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:57,734
Remember the time
you tried to mow your own lawn? .
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00:04:57,767 --> 00:05:00,901
Poor little squirrel
never saw it coming. .
104
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:04,267
Well, at least have someone
show you the ropes. .
105
00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:06,267
What a generous offer, Caitlin. .
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00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:09,300
We can start by grocery shopping
tonight after work. .
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Me?! .
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Come on... it'll be fun. .
109
00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,467
Bacon's ready.
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00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:36,167
Paul! .
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00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,067
Are you in or out?! .
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00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,100
What's the pot up to?
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85 cents. .
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The bet's a dime to you.
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I'm in.
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00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:50,667
Paul, recyclables
are only worth a nickel! .
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00:05:50,701 --> 00:05:54,133
It's a dime in Vermont! .
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00:05:55,501 --> 00:05:57,467
I got 3 Jacks.
Anybody beat that? .
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No. .
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00:05:58,501 --> 00:05:59,934
Yeah! Come to papa!
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00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:02,467
I'm gettin' a pack of gum
on the way home,
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00:06:02,501 --> 00:06:05,200
and guess what...
you guys are payin' for it! .
123
00:06:05,234 --> 00:06:06,667
All right, my deal.
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00:06:06,701 --> 00:06:09,133
5-card draw is the game. .
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00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:17,267
Uh-oh. Oh, um... .
126
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,901
Oh, boy. .
127
00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:21,234
Oh, I have a terrible hand.
128
00:06:21,267 --> 00:06:24,167
I should fold. I should fo...
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00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:27,067
you know what? No...
I'm gonna play just for fun,
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00:06:27,100 --> 00:06:29,200
even though
I'm probably gonna lose. .
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00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:30,934
Anyone got a read on Paul? .
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00:06:35,501 --> 00:06:36,534
Cards?
133
00:06:36,567 --> 00:06:37,634
I'm good.
134
00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:39,601
I'll take 3. .
135
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:43,634
Not much to work with here.
Give me 4. .
136
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:46,801
And the dealer takes 3. .
137
00:06:48,434 --> 00:06:51,400
The bet's to you, Charlie. .
138
00:06:51,434 --> 00:06:53,968
Fold. .
139
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,067
You've been folding all night.
140
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:57,734
I'm just not getting
good cards. .
141
00:06:57,767 --> 00:07:00,767
The cry of an amateur... you
don't need good cards to win. .
142
00:07:00,801 --> 00:07:03,667
Maybe this is why Charlie
doesn't play poker with us. .
143
00:07:03,701 --> 00:07:06,367
Maybe he doesn't have
the stomach for a big game. .
144
00:07:07,734 --> 00:07:11,434
You afraid
to dance with the devil? .
145
00:07:16,601 --> 00:07:18,100
Bet's $100.
146
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,534
I'm out. .
147
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:20,567
Me too.
148
00:07:20,601 --> 00:07:22,434
I think you're bluffing... .
149
00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:26,100
And my emergency
Ben Franklin... .
150
00:07:26,133 --> 00:07:28,033
Says you got nothin'. .
151
00:07:29,434 --> 00:07:30,734
Full house.
152
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:33,033
4 aces. .
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00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:35,200
Oh, God! Oh, my God! .
154
00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:37,567
Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick! .
155
00:07:37,601 --> 00:07:39,267
Oh, God! .
156
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,100
Well, it's gettin'
kind of late.
157
00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:42,834
I'll walk back with you. .
158
00:07:42,868 --> 00:07:46,400
Hey, hey, hey... sit down. .
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00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,901
Let's play some cards. .
160
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:04,434
Here's the deli.
Now, um, pick a number. .
161
00:08:04,467 --> 00:08:06,501
Uh... 16. .
162
00:08:06,534 --> 00:08:09,334
No, sir, from here. .
163
00:08:09,367 --> 00:08:10,934
Oh, sorry. .
164
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:12,868
What can I get you?
165
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:15,300
I'd like some roast beef,
please. .
166
00:08:15,334 --> 00:08:17,033
How much? .
167
00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:19,467
E-enough for a whole week...
I'll take 25 pounds. .
168
00:08:19,501 --> 00:08:21,334
He'll take one pound
cut extra lean,
169
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:23,701
and a pound of smoked Turkey.
170
00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:26,033
I'm impressed. You're a natural
at helping. .
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00:08:26,067 --> 00:08:27,834
You really think so? .
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00:08:27,868 --> 00:08:29,334
Yeah, of course. .
173
00:08:29,367 --> 00:08:31,300
Let's hit
the frozen-food section. .
174
00:08:31,334 --> 00:08:33,334
Great! I'm starting
to get the hang of this. .
175
00:08:33,367 --> 00:08:34,901
Mini cheese pocket? .
176
00:08:34,934 --> 00:08:36,434
Oh, yes, thank you. .
177
00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:47,601
It's after 10:00.
Where's Charlie? .
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00:08:47,634 --> 00:08:49,934
He's probably out
buying a new wardrobe
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00:08:49,968 --> 00:08:52,067
with all the money
he took from me.
180
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:53,601
$100?
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00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,901
Lord knows what he's doing
with the rest of it. .
182
00:08:56,934 --> 00:08:58,667
What are you doing? .
183
00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:00,334
Organizing the mayor's vitamins.
184
00:09:00,367 --> 00:09:02,334
I want to make sure
he gets enough "c"
185
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,234
since it's flu-and-cold season. .
186
00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:06,267
Oh, and look at this cute scarf
I got him. .
187
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,834
Looks like someone's
188
00:09:07,868 --> 00:09:10,100
getting in touch
with their nurturing side. .
189
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,167
What? .
190
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:12,968
My sister went through
the same thing. .
191
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,834
She bought a hamster...
she started knitting it
192
00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:18,434
little outfits and purses,
and then it got weird.
193
00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:20,100
Caitlin, I need your help. .
194
00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:21,601
What can I do?
195
00:09:21,634 --> 00:09:24,000
I've decided
that being self-sufficient
196
00:09:24,033 --> 00:09:26,400
is both stupid and dangerous,
197
00:09:26,434 --> 00:09:29,267
so I need you to help me
find a new housekeeper. .
198
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,801
Aren't I doing a good job? .
199
00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:33,701
You're doing great.
I just need someone full time. .
200
00:09:33,734 --> 00:09:34,901
Fine. .
201
00:09:34,934 --> 00:09:36,601
Whatever. .
202
00:09:36,634 --> 00:09:39,734
Oh, that's a nice scarf. .
203
00:09:39,767 --> 00:09:41,567
This for me? .
204
00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:42,734
No! .
205
00:09:42,767 --> 00:09:44,400
It's Angie's. .
206
00:09:44,434 --> 00:09:46,834
But it says "the mayor." .
207
00:09:46,868 --> 00:09:49,934
Well, that's her nickname. .
208
00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:53,868
Well, this is gonna be
confusing. .
209
00:09:53,901 --> 00:09:56,767
Good morning, gentlemen. .
210
00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:57,868
Morning, sir. Morning. .
211
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,534
We missed you at poker
last night.
212
00:09:59,567 --> 00:10:02,000
I think we should come up
with a different activity
213
00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:04,534
besides poker...
'cause of Charlie's problem. .
214
00:10:04,567 --> 00:10:06,000
What problem? .
215
00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:09,067
He has a terrible history
with gambling. .
216
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,767
Thank God it's all behind him. .
217
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:14,934
Nice goin', Paul! .
218
00:10:14,968 --> 00:10:17,133
Poker night was your idea! .
219
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:18,434
Hey...
220
00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:20,434
guys! There's no problem. .
221
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:22,934
It was just one harmless,
little game of poker,
222
00:10:22,968 --> 00:10:24,634
so let's not point fingers.
223
00:10:24,667 --> 00:10:26,167
Angie...
224
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:32,133
get me 2 cups of coffee,
today's racing form,
225
00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:34,801
and the point spread
on tonight's ucla game. .
226
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:37,934
Nice going, Paul! .
227
00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:46,968
I was just at the meeting...
Charlie never showed up. .
228
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,033
He's in trouble,
and it's all our fault. .
229
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:51,100
He's in trouble?!
I just lost 100 bucks,
230
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:53,667
and it's renewal time
for my magazine subscriptions. .
231
00:10:53,701 --> 00:10:54,767
Hey, guys. .
232
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,033
Hey, Charlie. .
233
00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,701
We wanted to apologize
for last night. .
234
00:10:58,734 --> 00:11:01,567
We didn't know about
your history with gambling.
235
00:11:01,601 --> 00:11:04,367
I think the best way
to rectify the situation
236
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,801
is if everybody
returns their winnings. .
237
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,567
We're even. .
238
00:11:10,601 --> 00:11:13,767
Guys, I appreciate your concern,
but there's no problem here. .
239
00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:16,567
There's a Eddie on the phone...
he says Philly covered. .
240
00:11:17,634 --> 00:11:20,200
He's from the deli. .
241
00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:24,234
He got the Philly cream cheese
to cover the entire bagel.
242
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:28,033
Eddie, I want to put in
my lunch order...
243
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,801
I love your buffalo wings,
244
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:32,601
and your Boston clam chowder's
been on a roll,
245
00:11:32,634 --> 00:11:34,234
so give me Boston,
246
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:36,801
and for dessert,
I'll take the Knicks. .
247
00:11:39,467 --> 00:11:42,067
Wow, it's even worse
than I thought.
248
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,467
I know! .
249
00:11:43,501 --> 00:11:46,467
Not only is he a gambler...
he's a binge eater! .
250
00:11:48,834 --> 00:11:50,801
We've interviewed
9 housekeepers,
251
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:52,634
and you've
turned them all down. .
252
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:54,868
Sir, none of those applicants
were qualified. .
253
00:11:54,901 --> 00:11:56,701
Well, we have to hire someone,
254
00:11:56,734 --> 00:11:58,934
and if that means
I have to settle