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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Ok, Caitlin and I are off
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to the campaign finance
symposium in San Francisco.
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Mike, when you're there,
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will you pick me up
an "I love New York" t-shirt? .
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You can get one of those
at any corner in the city. .
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If you don't want
to get me one, just say so. .
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Cheapskate. .
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Where's Carter? .
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He didn't have any luck
getting the city to revoke
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that chemical company's
waste-disposal license,
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so he's staging
a hunger strike. .
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When did Carter get passionate
enough about toxic waste
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to go on a hunger strike? .
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When he tried on
his bathing suit
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for his trip to Barbados. .
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So, Mike, you and Caitlin
are going away for the weekend? .
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Don't you think that's gonna be
a little awkward? .
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Why? Just 'cause I tried to run
over her fiancé with a bus? .
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Uh, yeah.
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Caitlin has made it
abundantly clear to me
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that she's very interested. .
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She just has a few issues
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with my morality,
my ethics, my integrity. .
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Girl stuff.
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Mike, I'm ready. .
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For what, armageddon?
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Caitlin, will you bring me back
an "I love New York" t-shirt? .
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- Sure, James.
- Thank you. .
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We're gonna miss our flight.
Let's go. .
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Unh-unh, here.
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I am nothing
if not a gentleman. .
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Nyah! .
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They have wheels, Mike.
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I'm sure they do. .
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Huhh! .
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Oooooh. .
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You want to have them
just bring the car around? .
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Okay, this speech
is very, very important.
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I have to show
the computer industry
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how much I value
and respect them. .
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In short, I have to kiss
some serious geek ass. .
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All right, now,
let's get started.
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I wanted to open with, uh...
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ah, darn light bulb. .
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Janelle! .
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Light bulb went out! .
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Oh, I'll call maintenance.
I think Tony's on today.
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Tony? .
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No, no, no. Never mind. .
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He always makes me feel
like such a wimp. .
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You should've seen
the look he gave me
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the last time he came up
to reload my stapler. .
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We don't need maintenance. .
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We are three strong,
smart, able-bodied men. .
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We will change
our own light bulb. .
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Guys, that's a 20-foot ceiling
with a recess bulb. .
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Are you saying we can't do it?
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I'm saying you're important
public servants on a deadline,
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and there are better ways
for you to spend your time. .
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That sounds like a challenge. .
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Oh, God. .
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We will not allow
pelico industries
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to pollute our environment! .
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We must force them
to meet with us
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and negotiate! .
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Dude, that thing's
a little loud. .
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Sorry.
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I know you're cold!
I know you're hungry! .
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Still pretty loud, man. .
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But let's remember
why we're here! .
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You could probably just talk. .
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But I like the bullhorn.
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Stuart... .
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What are you doing? .
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You can't show up
at a hunger strike with food! .
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It's an insult to all these
people who sacrificed their...
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is that jelly? .
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Custard. .
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Ooh. .
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They need you at city hall
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for the neighborhood-watch
meeting.
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I can't right now.
I'm leading a protest.
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I'll cover for you. .
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Yo lead a protest?
Don't make me laugh. .
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Ha ha...
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ha ha ha ha ha! .
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All right, people, let's go. .
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Time for another chant. .
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We... Will...
Not be ignored anymore. .
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Come on! .
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We... Will...
Not be ignored anymore. .
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We... Will...
Not be ignored anymore. .
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We... Will...
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whoa, whoa, whoa. .
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People, chant with your hearts. .
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It doesn't really flow. .
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Can we lose "anymore"? .
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Uh, no. .
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"Anymore" indicates
repetitive behavior. .
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How about "won't"
instead of "will not"? .
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Contractions are a crutch,
my friend. .
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You suck at this. .
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You gotta make it catchy. .
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Let's go, mets! .
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Let's go, mets! .
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Let's go, mets! .
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Let's go, mets! .
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- Let's go, mets!
- Bing! .
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- Let's go, mets!
- Yeah! .
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- Let's go, mets!
- Zing! .
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- Let's go, mets!
- Whee!
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Are you nervous? .
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No, I'm just making confetti. .
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You know, in case we make it. .
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Are you afraid of flying? .
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No, Mike,
I'm not afraid of flying.
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I'm afraid
of crashing and dying. .
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That's funny, 'cause...
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I was just thinking about that
this morning. .
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Really? .
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Yeah.
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I was thinking that
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if this plane crashes on the way
to San Francisco... .
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Do we get Miles
for the full trip? .
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Funny, Mike. .
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Just a little
plane-crash humor. .
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You know, lighten the mood. .
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So, you and me, San Francisco.
A romantic getaway. .
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What'd you tell Trevor? .
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It's not a romantic getaway.
It's a business trip. .
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That's all. .
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Did you say it like that?
'Cause I bought it. .
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When are you gonna accept
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that Trevor and I
are getting married? .
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Oh, I don't know, Caitlin. .
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Maybe when
you stop making out with me.
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I'm sorry about that.
That was my fault. .
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It was a moment of weakness. .
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What are you saying? .
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Are you saying
that there's no attraction? .
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Of course there is,
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but I'm getting married. .
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What do you want to do,
lock ourselves in a hotel room,
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have sex for three days
just for the hell of it? .
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Okay, that was
a trick question. .
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Look, that's not
what this is about.
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I want to be with you.
You want to be with me.
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I don't. .
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How can you say that? .
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What about the hospital?
What about the kissing? .
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We were all over each other.
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I was confused. .
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Can I get you
something to drink? .
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Oh. Um, can I get a champagne? .
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Uh... uh, maybe a bloody Mary. .
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You know what? .
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Maybe just plain water. .
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Watch out. She's confused. .
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Pucker up. .
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Hey, baby. What's your sign? .
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It says, "less dumping,
more planting." .
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That's pretty good,
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but I think it should rhyme. .
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How about "less dumping,
more humping"?
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Hey, you're just cranky
'cause you're hungry.
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I got doughnuts!
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Stuart, you are undermining
the spirit of this rally. .
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Don't you understand that pelico
industries is responsible
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for the extinction
of four species of woodpecker? .
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Ha ha ha. Woodpecker.
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Stuart.
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I'm sorry.
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I just hope all this toxic waste
doesn't hurt the titmouse. .
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Make way. Make way. .
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Clear the way.
Cars comin' through.
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I said, "make way." .
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Hey, don't push me.
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I said, "clear the way,"
hippie. .
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Hold this. .
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Don't push me. .
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Oh, you're
a tough guy now, huh?
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I'm a civil servant!
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Let's go, mets! .
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Let's go, mets! .
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Let's go, mets! .
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Let's go, mets!
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Paul, you and I
hold the ladder.
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James, you climb up
and change the bulb. .
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Excellent. .
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All right. .
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Could somebody
hand me the bulb?
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I got it. I got it. .
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Waaah!
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Ooh, that's fascinating. .
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That is riveting. .
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Fascinating, riveting stuff. .
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Okay, Mike, what? .
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Oh. Well...
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well, if you must know,
little miss curious,
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it's a couples'
compatibility test.
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Mike, we're not a couple. .
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Question one...
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"do you find your partner"...
that would be me...
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"a... not attractive,
b... average,
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or c... very attractive"? .
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Right. Better pencil in "d"...
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00:09:08,113 --> 00:09:11,182
"give me a bib. I'm drooling."
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00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:13,384
Mike, give it a rest. .
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00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:14,685
We're not compatible. .
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00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:17,321
We will never be compatible.
We are not meant to be.
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Caitlin, I think
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that's for the in-flight
magazine to decide. .
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Fine. .
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If you're not willing
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00:09:26,798 --> 00:09:29,800
to put the time into this
relationship that it needs,
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maybe we should
just see other people.
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Mike...
I'm marrying other people. .
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The fight against industrilgiant pelico industries