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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:01,299 --> 00:00:03,598
Hey, Paul, I checked the
etiquette handbook on this one.
2
00:00:03,666 --> 00:00:05,598
Having all your friends
lug your furniture
3
00:00:05,666 --> 00:00:07,632
up 4 flights of stairs
to your new apartment
4
00:00:07,699 --> 00:00:11,698
is not, technically,
a housewarming party.
5
00:00:11,766 --> 00:00:13,399
How can I thank you guys?
6
00:00:13,466 --> 00:00:15,399
I mean, 8 solid,
sweaty hours of moving.
7
00:00:15,466 --> 00:00:16,899
How can I ever repay you?
8
00:00:16,966 --> 00:00:18,399
Will this be
all together?
9
00:00:18,466 --> 00:00:19,965
No, no, no.
Separate checks.
10
00:00:23,466 --> 00:00:25,399
Hey, James. You got
that 10 bucks you owe me?
11
00:00:25,466 --> 00:00:27,365
Sure. Here you go.
12
00:00:27,433 --> 00:00:28,899
I'm sorry I let go
of that armoire.
13
00:00:28,966 --> 00:00:30,065
That thing
would have gone
14
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:31,965
all the way down to the
bottom of the stairs
15
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,265
if James hadn't reached out
and stopped it with his face.
16
00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:36,899
Hey, James. You got
that 10 bucks you owe me?
17
00:00:36,966 --> 00:00:38,032
Sure.
18
00:00:39,766 --> 00:00:41,332
Well, Paul,
your new apartment
19
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:43,965
confirms your status as
the cheapest man alive.
20
00:00:44,033 --> 00:00:45,899
I didn't take that apartment
because of the price.
21
00:00:45,966 --> 00:00:49,899
I wanted to move
to Harlem.
22
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:54,032
I happen to appreciate
its rich cultural heritage.
23
00:00:54,099 --> 00:00:55,899
Paul, tell me one thing
about Harlem's rich
24
00:00:55,966 --> 00:00:58,232
cultural heritage
that you appreciate.
25
00:00:58,299 --> 00:01:01,131
The globetrotters.
26
00:01:28,967 --> 00:01:30,999
Finally, the olympic
torch will be
27
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:33,231
arriving here tomorrow
on its way to Sydney.
28
00:01:33,299 --> 00:01:34,231
Sidney?
29
00:01:34,299 --> 00:01:35,832
Why does Sidney
get the torch, Mike?
30
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:37,965
He gets everything.
31
00:01:42,900 --> 00:01:44,331
Sydney, Australia,
James.
32
00:01:44,399 --> 00:01:46,966
Not Sidney
in accounting.
33
00:01:47,967 --> 00:01:49,999
Ok, then.
34
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,264
A Nigerian delegation will hand
the torch off to the mayor,
35
00:01:52,332 --> 00:01:54,565
who will then run
a ceremonial lap
36
00:01:54,633 --> 00:01:56,765
around city hall
carrying the flame.
37
00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:59,765
Stuart, you will run a
ceremonial lap around city hall
38
00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:02,065
carrying a fire
extinguisher.
39
00:02:02,133 --> 00:02:04,798
Mike, why don't you just
tell us this tomorrow?
40
00:02:04,866 --> 00:02:07,765
Because tomorrow I am
going to be on vacation,
41
00:02:07,832 --> 00:02:09,698
as you all know
perfectly well.
42
00:02:09,766 --> 00:02:11,098
Oh, poppycock.
43
00:02:11,166 --> 00:02:13,298
Mike, that
means nonsense
44
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:15,398
when translated
from the gay.
45
00:02:21,899 --> 00:02:22,898
He's right, Mike.
46
00:02:22,966 --> 00:02:24,698
I've never even seen
you take a day off.
47
00:02:24,766 --> 00:02:25,898
You worked last Christmas.
48
00:02:25,966 --> 00:02:27,865
I wasn't
the only one here.
49
00:02:27,932 --> 00:02:30,331
There was also
Murray Goldstein...
50
00:02:34,232 --> 00:02:37,998
And, of course,
Sidney in accounting.
51
00:02:38,066 --> 00:02:39,465
Hey, Mike.
52
00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:41,431
Hey, sir. You all ready
for your run tomorrow?
53
00:02:41,499 --> 00:02:42,632
I don't know, Mike.
54
00:02:42,699 --> 00:02:44,598
Pulled my groin
this morning.
55
00:02:44,666 --> 00:02:46,331
Oh, no.
56
00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:48,365
Yeah. Felt so good,
I pulled it again.
57
00:02:52,399 --> 00:02:54,431
I've been killing
with that all day.
58
00:02:57,399 --> 00:02:58,698
Isn't Mike just the cutest,
59
00:02:58,766 --> 00:03:01,032
the way he opens his letters?
60
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,699
Oh, yeah. I get all woozy
61
00:03:04,766 --> 00:03:07,332
whenever I see
the mail cart coming.
62
00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:10,332
So, what's with you?
63
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:11,699
I can't take it anymore.
64
00:03:11,766 --> 00:03:14,332
Mike this, Mike that,
Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike.
65
00:03:14,399 --> 00:03:16,932
It's like Chinese
Mike torture.
66
00:03:16,999 --> 00:03:19,699
Fine, I won't
mention Mike again.
67
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:20,832
Thank you.
68
00:03:20,899 --> 00:03:23,199
From now on I'll
call him Arthur.
69
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:25,365
As in king Arthur
of Camelot.
70
00:03:25,433 --> 00:03:27,199
Oh, that'll be
much less annoying.
71
00:03:27,266 --> 00:03:28,365
Ohhhhhh.
72
00:03:28,433 --> 00:03:30,699
When I was a little girl,
I used to dream that
73
00:03:30,766 --> 00:03:33,132
I was gwenevere and
my big pillow was Arthur.
74
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,699
Oh, yeah. I used to
play the same game.
75
00:03:35,766 --> 00:03:37,198
Except my pillow
was gwenevere
76
00:03:37,266 --> 00:03:39,332
and I was sir humpalot.
77
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:47,432
Watch it. Arthur
is sacred to me.
78
00:03:47,499 --> 00:03:48,432
Who's Arthur?
79
00:03:48,499 --> 00:03:50,532
Nikki's new boyfriend.
80
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:53,065
That's it, suckers.
I'm on vacation.
81
00:03:53,133 --> 00:03:55,465
Hey, Mike. Did you hear
Nikki's got a new boyfriend?
82
00:03:55,533 --> 00:03:57,265
Really?
83
00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:58,932
No... no kidding,
that's, uh...
84
00:03:58,999 --> 00:04:01,199
That's great, Nikki.
I'm happy for you.
85
00:04:01,332 --> 00:04:02,765
Thanks.
86
00:04:02,833 --> 00:04:04,266
What's he do?
87
00:04:04,332 --> 00:04:07,765
Yeah. What's he do?
88
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,631
He, uh...
89
00:04:09,699 --> 00:04:11,765
Makes swords.
90
00:04:13,033 --> 00:04:14,498
I wouldn't think
there'd be
91
00:04:14,565 --> 00:04:16,132
much call for
that anymore.
92
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,032
What with the
invention of the gun.
93
00:04:20,699 --> 00:04:22,099
Hey, you know what?
94
00:04:22,167 --> 00:04:23,631
Why don't we have
dinner together?
95
00:04:23,699 --> 00:04:25,132
How about tomorrow night?
96
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,464
Can you make reservations
for us at the landmark?
97
00:04:27,532 --> 00:04:29,132
Sure, Mike.
98
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,266
Get ya a nice,
round table.
99
00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:36,765
Carter, janelle.
My peeps.
100
00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,132
What did he
call us?
101
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:45,631
I just wanted
to tell you guys
102
00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:47,765
how much I love it
up in Harlem.
103
00:04:47,833 --> 00:04:50,765
I just didn't want to
say it around... them.
104
00:04:52,866 --> 00:04:54,799
Who's them, Paul?
105
00:04:54,866 --> 00:04:56,631
You know...
106
00:04:56,699 --> 00:04:58,899
White people.
107
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,631
Ohhhh. Them.
108
00:05:02,699 --> 00:05:04,631
Hey, janelle.
You know you and Paul
109
00:05:04,699 --> 00:05:06,631
only live a few blocks
from each other.
110
00:05:06,699 --> 00:05:08,899
You two should do
things together.
111
00:05:08,967 --> 00:05:10,132
You know, it's true.
112
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,132
I mean, we could hang,
you know, in the hood.
113
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,732
In fact, maybe we could
share cabs to work.
114
00:05:16,799 --> 00:05:20,966
Oh, yeah. Maybe now
I can actually get one.
115
00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:22,631
I tell ya,
I love it up there.
116
00:05:22,699 --> 00:05:25,266
I mean, you have the
restaurants and the shops...
117
00:05:25,334 --> 00:05:28,598
and the music. Well, I've
always loved the black music.
118
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:30,665
Paul, 2 weeks ago
you thought
119
00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:33,832
puffy combs was
a breakfast cereal.
120
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:37,066
Well, that was then,
girlfriend.
121
00:05:46,699 --> 00:05:47,631
Morning, guys.
122
00:05:47,699 --> 00:05:48,631
Morning.
123
00:05:48,699 --> 00:05:50,266
James?
124
00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:52,866
I owe you $10, don't I?
125
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:55,565
This is gonna be heaven.
126
00:05:55,632 --> 00:05:57,365
A whole week
without the boss.
127
00:05:57,432 --> 00:05:59,066
Hey, good morning,
everybody.
128
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:01,266
Welcome to day one
of my vacation.
129
00:06:02,966 --> 00:06:05,632
Mike, the Nigerian delegation
is here with the torch.
130
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:06,698
Ah... ah... ah.
I'm on vacation.
131
00:06:06,766 --> 00:06:08,299
I'll take care of it.
132
00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:09,632
I can't believe
they'd let
133
00:06:09,699 --> 00:06:10,998
a live flame
into city hall.
134
00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,132
I mean,
other than Carter.
135
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,932
This is just sad.
136
00:06:16,999 --> 00:06:20,832
You mean sad in
a kind of cool way, right?
137
00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:26,165
No. Sad in a star trekconvention kind of way.
138
00:06:26,233 --> 00:06:30,032
(IMITATING CAPTAIN KIRK) Mike.
You need to explore new worlds.
139
00:06:31,866 --> 00:06:33,498
To investigate
new experiences.
140
00:06:33,566 --> 00:06:36,998
To boldly go away from the
office for at least...
141
00:06:37,066 --> 00:06:38,132
One day.
142
00:06:41,066 --> 00:06:44,132
You can do that
impression that well,
143
00:06:44,199 --> 00:06:46,765
and I'm the sad one.
144
00:06:49,633 --> 00:06:52,998
Wakim is the speed walking
champion of our country.
145
00:06:53,066 --> 00:06:57,465
Fi fun mayor yin ni je
nkan nla, gbogbo aralu.
146
00:06:57,533 --> 00:07:00,899
I got "fun mayor."
147
00:07:00,966 --> 00:07:03,999
He says presenting the mayor
with the olympic torch
148
00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:05,999
is a great honor
for him
149
00:07:06,066 --> 00:07:07,899
and his entire
village.
150
00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:10,099
You know, I consider
myself quite the Walker.
151
00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:15,132
I could blow the doors
off this guy.
152
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,999
Now we'll be entering
the rotunda,
153
00:07:17,066 --> 00:07:21,632
which was built by mayor
fiorello LA guardia in 1941.
154
00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:24,299
This way. Come on, people.
We're walking here.
155
00:07:24,367 --> 00:07:26,432
Let's go.
We're walking.
156
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:27,565
Walking?
157
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,432
Mike, the parameters within
which you've defined yourself
158
00:07:37,500 --> 00:07:40,432
are all work-oriented, leaving
little or no opportunity
159
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:43,532
for you to grow through
normal social interaction.
160
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,099
English, please.
161
00:07:48,166 --> 00:07:50,799
Get a life.
162
00:07:50,867 --> 00:07:53,432
Well, we're a little testy
today, aren't we, doc?
163
00:07:53,500 --> 00:07:56,765
Having troubles at home
with Mrs. shrink?
164
00:07:56,833 --> 00:07:58,765
(LAUGHING NERVOUSLY)
165
00:08:01,433 --> 00:08:03,165
Look, Mike,
why don't we try
166
00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,165
a little word
association, ok?
167
00:08:05,232 --> 00:08:06,498
Corral.
168
00:08:06,566 --> 00:08:09,198
I'm sorry,
I thought we started.
169
00:08:09,266 --> 00:08:11,365
Look, I don't think
you can decipher
170
00:08:11,433 --> 00:08:13,298
complex human behavior
by playing a little...
171
00:08:13,366 --> 00:08:14,298
home.
Work.
172
00:08:14,366 --> 00:08:15,798
Damn.
173
00:08:15,866 --> 00:08:17,433
Fun.
Office.
174
00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:18,831
Office.
175
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:21,598
What? Did they call?
176
00:08:21,666 --> 00:08:23,798
And you honestly
don't think you have
177
00:08:23,866 --> 00:08:26,065
an abnormal attachment
to your job?
178
00:08:26,132 --> 00:08:28,798
No, I don't.
179
00:08:28,866 --> 00:08:31,932
Why do you have a picture
of city hall on your wall?
180
00:08:38,867 --> 00:08:41,098
Did anybody see
a half-naked man
181
00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:43,898
speed walk through
here with a torch?
182
00:08:43,966 --> 00:08:47,032
Not today.
183
00:08:47,099 --> 00:08:48,432
Mike's gonna kill me.
184
00:08:48,499 --> 00:08:50,631
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
185
00:08:50,699 --> 00:08:52,465
Carter.
186
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:53,965
We've got to
do something.
187
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,298
Paul's out
of control.
188
00:08:55,366 --> 00:08:56,932
Janelle, Paul
is just trying
189
00:08:56,999 --> 00:08:59,231
to assimilate into
his new community.
190
00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:00,932
Don't you think you're
overreacting a little?
191
00:09:03,866 --> 00:09:05,499
Hey, everybody.
192
00:09:09,566 --> 00:09:11,932
Hey, I almost
bought that hat.
193
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:16,465
Boy, wouldn't that have
been embarrassing, huh?
194
00:09:19,366 --> 00:09:21,132
Guess what
I got at lunch.
195
00:09:21,199 --> 00:09:23,798
Upholstered?
196
00:09:23,866 --> 00:09:26,932
Janelle, Claudia and I
got some extra tickets
197
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,832
for this Saturday
night's def comedy jam.
198
00:09:29,899 --> 00:09:31,132
We're gonna be
front row.
199
00:09:31,199 --> 00:09:33,432
Close enough so the comics
can talk to us.
200
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,932
Oh. I've got an ad
on the Internet,
201
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:43,898
I'm making calls.
202
00:09:43,966 --> 00:09:45,798
How hard is it
to find a single,
203
00:09:45,866 --> 00:09:47,665
attractive,
sword-making Arthur?
204
00:09:47,733 --> 00:09:49,298
I got one.
205
00:09:49,366 --> 00:09:51,798
He works in fashion,
he loves the opera,
206
00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:54,432
and every Friday night he goes
dancing with his buddies.
207
00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,032
He sounds gay.
208
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:58,432
I know.
I said I got one.
209
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:02,932
Come on. Let us
take you to lunch.
210
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,999
Carter's treat.
211
00:10:04,066 --> 00:10:06,298
No, I gotta
stay here.
212
00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:07,432
All right.
213
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:13,932
This is hopeless.
214
00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:18,698
(TRUMPETS PLAY)
215
00:10:27,199 --> 00:10:29,965
Hi, I'm Arthur.
216
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:34,298
Ok, Mike, I'm afraid
our time is up.
217
00:10:34,366 --> 00:10:36,932
I think we made a lot
of progress today.
218
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,432
I hope you're
feeling better.
219
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:42,932
Ok, go do something fun.
220
00:10:44,766 --> 00:10:46,432
You're right, doc.
221
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:47,632
I'm not setting foot
222
00:10:47,699 --> 00:10:49,298
in the office
again today.
223
00:10:49,366 --> 00:10:51,798
Nope, no work.
224
00:10:51,866 --> 00:10:54,032
(CHEERING)
225
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,431
They're not making
this easy for me.
226
00:11:18,465 --> 00:11:23,264
All right. We got an
hour to find torch man.
227
00:11:23,332 --> 00:11:26,799
What would Mike do
in this situation?
228
00:11:26,866 --> 00:11:28,066
Mike?
229
00:11:32,399 --> 00:11:34,965
No, no, no.
I'm not even here.
230
00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:37,166
Think, guys. Where
should we look?
231
00:11:38,299 --> 00:11:39,999
First word.
232
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,166
Sounds like...
233
00:11:41,232 --> 00:11:43,464
Shmembassy.
234
00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,364
Police chief carney's
on one.
235
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:48,765
What do we tell him?
236
00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:51,364
Well, tell him if he
ever grabs my ass again,
237
00:11:51,432 --> 00:11:52,865
I'm calling his wife.
238
00:11:52,933 --> 00:11:53,865
All right,
I'm coming in.
239
00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:55,264
Ah-ah.
240
00:11:55,332 --> 00:11:57,298
I'm gonna tell him to put out
an all-points bulletin.
241
00:11:57,365 --> 00:11:58,398
No!
242
00:12:07,466 --> 00:12:08,799
Hi, chief.
Yeah, it's Mike.
243
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:11,166
Listen, we want to stay
kind of low-key on this,
244
00:12:11,234 --> 00:12:12,799
so just tell
your patrolmen
245
00:12:12,867 --> 00:12:15,331
to keep their eyes
open, all right?
246
00:12:15,399 --> 00:12:17,298
What's he wearing?
247
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:20,166
He's carrying
a torch.
248
00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:21,166
All right, great.
249
00:12:21,234 --> 00:12:22,665
Stuart, James,
find out where
250
00:12:22,733 --> 00:12:24,632
the tour bus
lets off, all right?
251
00:12:24,699 --> 00:12:26,233
Stacy, get me the
Nigerian consulate
252
00:12:26,299 --> 00:12:28,133
on the phone.
253
00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:31,298
Nice vacation.
254
00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:33,966
Yeah, I'm
enjoying myself.
255
00:12:34,033 --> 00:12:36,298
Mike, you're sitting
in your in box.
256
00:12:39,733 --> 00:12:41,832
This is weird.
You have a problem.
257
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,766
Well, my... my feet have
not touched that floor.
258
00:12:50,234 --> 00:12:52,233
You're wrong, you know.
259
00:12:52,299 --> 00:12:53,732
I don't have a problem.
260
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:54,732
I'm not crazy.
261
00:12:56,666 --> 00:12:59,899
And I can make
that jump.
262
00:12:59,967 --> 00:13:01,932
Paul, the mayor
wants you to schedule
263
00:13:01,999 --> 00:13:03,732
a press conference
after his torch run.
264
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,865
Word up.
265
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,732
Carter.
266
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,732
If it doesn't stop,
267
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,832
I'm gonna beat this man.
268
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,265
Paul, I know you probably
don't realize it,
269
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:24,765
but what you're actually
doing is playing into
270
00:13:24,833 --> 00:13:27,232
every offensive ethnic
stereotype in the book.
271
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,232
Just keepin' it real, yo.
272
00:13:35,533 --> 00:13:37,232
Janelle, beat this man.
273
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,299
Paul, you're not black.
274
00:13:41,366 --> 00:13:43,232
No more dashikis,
275
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:45,098
no more street lingo,
276
00:13:45,166 --> 00:13:47,498
and please, please,
277
00:13:47,566 --> 00:13:49,765
stop talking like
you're Barry white.
278
00:13:49,833 --> 00:13:52,132
(IN LOW VOICE)
Oh, come on, baby.
279
00:13:59,866 --> 00:14:02,732
Next time we do that,
I'm wearing a saddle.
280
00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:07,166
Whoa! Total deja vu.
281
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:13,732
All right. I bought us a couple of
hours with the Nigerian delegates.
282
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,999
They're in my office watching
reruns of thirtysomething.
283
00:14:16,066 --> 00:14:18,565
Thank God for lifetime.
284
00:14:18,633 --> 00:14:20,332
We're scouring the city
for this guy, sir.
285
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,766
Well, as soon as you find
him, you let me know.
286
00:14:22,833 --> 00:14:24,599
I can be ready at
a moment's notice.
287
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,399
Check out the quads.
288
00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:41,965
Uh, Mike,
the tour bus lets off
289
00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:43,599
at the circle line
boat dock.
290
00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:45,032
Ok, great,
I'm going down there.
291
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,099
Who's coming with me?
292
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,266
I'll take bishop tutu.
293
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,399
Well, he's not
below deck.
294
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,433
He's not at the stern.
295
00:15:03,499 --> 00:15:04,999
I thought I saw
a torch back there,
296
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:07,966
but it was just some kids
trying to set a pigeon on fire.
297
00:15:08,033 --> 00:15:08,966
What?
298
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:10,598
Yeah. The thing is,
though,
299
00:15:10,666 --> 00:15:12,465
it must happen
more than we think,
300
00:15:12,532 --> 00:15:15,465
because the other pigeons knew
exactly how to put him out.
301
00:15:15,532 --> 00:15:17,132
Oh, thank God.
302
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,465
You know what?
He's not here.
303
00:15:18,532 --> 00:15:20,966
So I say we get off
this boat before...
304
00:15:21,033 --> 00:15:22,798
It leaves the dock.
305
00:15:22,866 --> 00:15:24,932
For 2 1/2 hours.
306
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,132
Now what?
307
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,299
Well, we're gonna be
on this tub for a while,
308
00:15:30,367 --> 00:15:32,765
so I say we make
the most of it.
309
00:15:38,532 --> 00:15:42,598
I'm the deputy mayor
of the world!
310
00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:02,965
So I actually don't
make swords per se.
311
00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:06,565
I restore them for
museums and galleries.
312
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,399
Are your eyes
really that blue?
313
00:16:08,466 --> 00:16:10,432
Colored contacts.
314
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,732
I don't care.
I like them.
315
00:16:12,799 --> 00:16:14,532
When your boss
comes by tonight,
316
00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:15,999
I'm your new boyfriend.
I got that down.
317
00:16:16,066 --> 00:16:17,899
But tell me a little
bit about me.
318
00:16:17,966 --> 00:16:19,032
Am I into you?
319
00:16:19,099 --> 00:16:20,499
My friends think
you're obsessed.
320
00:16:20,566 --> 00:16:22,832
Hey, let 'em talk.
321
00:16:22,900 --> 00:16:24,399
You know, I should
probably tell you,
322
00:16:24,466 --> 00:16:26,399
I kind of made you
into a fantasy guy.
323
00:16:26,466 --> 00:16:28,332
You know,
I said you liked music.
324
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,098
I have season tickets
to the met.
325
00:16:30,166 --> 00:16:32,365
Said you're outdoorsy.
Mountain biker.
326
00:16:32,433 --> 00:16:34,832
I also said that you have
a fabulous sense of humor.
327
00:16:38,966 --> 00:16:41,065
So how many dates
have we been on?
328
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:43,032
Oh, a bunch. You know,
we're not touchy-feely,
329
00:16:43,099 --> 00:16:44,499
but we probably hold hands.
330
00:16:44,566 --> 00:16:47,665
Or, uh, if you had a strand
of hair in your face,
331
00:16:47,733 --> 00:16:51,399
I might push it back
behind your ear?
332
00:16:51,466 --> 00:16:53,965
That would work.
333
00:16:54,033 --> 00:16:55,298
And I bet sometimes,
334
00:16:55,366 --> 00:16:58,032
even though there
are people around,
335
00:16:58,099 --> 00:17:00,365
I can't help giving
you a little kiss.
336
00:17:00,433 --> 00:17:04,032
If you can't help it,
you can't help it.
337
00:17:07,466 --> 00:17:08,865
Well, this is
gonna be really...
338
00:17:11,633 --> 00:17:13,032
(RETCHING SOUNDS)
339
00:17:14,967 --> 00:17:17,865
Is he down there, Paul?
340
00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:19,298
I don't see him, Mike.
341
00:17:19,365 --> 00:17:21,164
Poor guy, he's out
there, he's alone.
342
00:17:21,232 --> 00:17:22,431
He's gotta be scared.
343
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,865
I, too, walk
the earth alone.
344
00:17:24,933 --> 00:17:27,398
Paul, you're a big
white guy in a dashiki.
345
00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:29,431
You're lucky you
walk the earth at all.
346
00:17:29,499 --> 00:17:31,198
All right, take it easy,
347
00:17:31,265 --> 00:17:32,865
I'm down. Stop kicking.
348
00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:34,966
Where could he go,
though, you know?
349
00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:38,264
He's a stranger
in a strange land,
350
00:17:38,332 --> 00:17:40,999
he's one of
the huddled masses.
351
00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,966
He's poor,
352
00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:44,966
tired, he's hungry.
353
00:18:15,899 --> 00:18:18,965
MIKE: Paul, do you see
2 torches over there?
354
00:18:21,399 --> 00:18:23,331
This flame was lit
atop mount Olympus
355
00:18:23,399 --> 00:18:25,465
and then run halfway
around the world,
356
00:18:25,533 --> 00:18:27,331
and now it's my
responsibility
357
00:18:27,399 --> 00:18:29,831
to further its journey,
a journey into history.
358
00:18:29,899 --> 00:18:32,231
History in this case being
a brisk walk down the block
359
00:18:32,299 --> 00:18:34,431
where you'll hand it
to Jason brodowski,
360
00:18:34,499 --> 00:18:37,831
the 11-year-old pie-eating
champion of far rockaway.
361
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,165
Well, here I go.
362
00:18:39,232 --> 00:18:42,132
Keeper of the flame
that never dies.
363
00:18:42,199 --> 00:18:43,898
Wakim...
364
00:18:43,966 --> 00:18:44,898
Let's do it.
365
00:18:50,832 --> 00:18:52,365
Ah, screw it.
366
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:53,898
Stacy, get Nikki
on the phone.
367
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:56,465
Tell her I can't meet her and
Arthur for dinner tonight.
368
00:18:57,932 --> 00:18:59,431
What?
369
00:18:59,499 --> 00:19:00,698
Mike, you're, uh...
370
00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:02,898
working? Yeah,
I know. I love it.
371
00:19:02,966 --> 00:19:05,365
Daddy's home, boys.
372
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:06,699
This is hopeless.
373
00:19:06,766 --> 00:19:08,465
Let me give it a shot.
374
00:19:08,533 --> 00:19:10,532
No, no. Listen to the man, Stacy.
There's no...
375
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,632
Mike, you're Arthur.
376
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:13,898
What?
377
00:19:13,966 --> 00:19:15,532
You're so busy
with work,
378
00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:17,165
you're too stupid
to notice.
379
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:24,265
Who's the man?
380
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,132
I'm Arthur.
381
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,165
Oh, great.
382
00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:31,765
I was gonna change
my name to Mohammed.
383
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,132
Hey, Nikki.
384
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,265
Hey, Mike.
385
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:50,632
Listen, I gotta
tell ya, I'm, uh...
386
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:54,332
Really happy about this
whole Arthur thing.
387
00:19:54,399 --> 00:19:55,932
You know, he's here.
388
00:19:55,999 --> 00:19:57,632
What?
389
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,632
Oh.
390
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:02,398
Guess "he" is.
391
00:20:02,466 --> 00:20:05,332
I don't wanna screw this up.
I really like this guy.
392
00:20:05,399 --> 00:20:08,632
Well, Nikki, maybe
he likes you, too.
393
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:09,965
I mean, maybe Arthur
394
00:20:10,033 --> 00:20:13,298
has been in therapy
for a while,
395
00:20:13,366 --> 00:20:14,932
and he's
starting to see
396
00:20:14,999 --> 00:20:16,232
what's really important.
397
00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:18,465
Arthur doesn't seem like
the kind of guy
398
00:20:18,533 --> 00:20:19,699
who would need therapy.
399
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:25,599
Nikki, look, Arthur may look
perfect on the outside, but...
400
00:20:28,366 --> 00:20:30,898
He's got a lot
of issues.
401
00:20:30,966 --> 00:20:33,132
You know, I was
on a boat today,
402
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,132
and the thought
occurred to me
403
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,765
that you and Arthur might enjoy
a little weekend cruise.
404
00:20:38,833 --> 00:20:40,032
That's sweet.
405
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:41,765
Thank you.
Thank you, buddy.
406
00:20:44,966 --> 00:20:46,265
I'm Arthur.
407
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,632
Excuse me? What?
408
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:53,632
Then, uh...
409
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:56,699
Then who am I?
410
00:20:56,766 --> 00:20:59,599
This cruise goes
to the Bahamas.
411
00:20:59,666 --> 00:21:03,932
That's really generous,
man. Thank you.
412
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,765
Hey, Arthur.
413
00:21:05,833 --> 00:21:08,564
What's an $800 cruise
for a complete stranger?
414
00:21:10,167 --> 00:21:11,899
Bon voyage.
415
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:14,464
Thanks, Mike.
416
00:21:24,599 --> 00:21:26,799
Must work.
417
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,965
I just wanna say I'm sorry
for the way I've been acting.
418
00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:37,465
It's just, I wanted
to belong, you know?
419
00:21:37,533 --> 00:21:39,698
I understand, Paul, but
the only way to do that
420
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,799
is to stop trying
so hard.
421
00:21:41,866 --> 00:21:44,364
Be yourself.
422
00:21:44,432 --> 00:21:45,765
I promise.
423
00:21:47,033 --> 00:21:48,731
I'm me again.
424
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,464
You can start by
taking off the hat.
425
00:21:50,532 --> 00:21:51,698
Uh-uh.
426
00:22:02,499 --> 00:22:03,966
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
427
00:22:04,033 --> 00:22:05,233
(BARKING)
428
00:22:06,833 --> 00:22:07,899
Moo.
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