Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

(Lois) 'What's the holdup?'

You've been cooking for 15 seconds

and dinner's not ready yet?

Give me eight more seconds.

I promise you, it will be worth the wait.

Well, take ten. I'm in the mood for dessert.

[doorbell rings]

(male #1) 'Delivery for Kent.'

Oh. Wow. What is this? Come on in.

Uh, just put it anywhere.

Oh.

- There you go. - There you go.

- Thanks. - Thank you, ma'am.

[instrumental music]

Hey, honey, who was at the..

Honey...is this your way of telling me we can have a baby?

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

[buzzer]

(guard) 'Open the gates.'

Well, I guess this is adios, Dr. Mensa.

Hope this early parole doesn't go to your, uh...head.

[laughs]

Sorry.

Hey, I know we had our share of run-ins while you were inside

but, uh...no hard feelings, huh?

[instrumental music]

You know, you really are a fat-head!

[instrumental music]

No! Aah!

Don't call me Fat Head.

[theme music]

Yours? This was your bassinet?

Yeah, but I didn't have it sent here.

I mean, I haven't even spoken to Dr. Klein yet.

- Maybe my mom and dad.. - When?

They've been in Metropolis for a week.

[doorbell rings]

Well, that's them. You can ask them yourself.

- Hi. - Hi.

Sorry. We forgot the key.

We haven't kept you from dinner, have we?

No, no, no.

We've had other things to keep us busy.

- Oh, it got here. - So you did send it.

Well, with all this talk of babies in the air

we called home and had our hired hand send it as a surprise.

If we were being a little--

Presumptuous. But the idea of having a grandchild is just so--

Exciting. We wanted to help you get..

Started and show you some--

Shortcuts and pitch in like--

- Family, if that's.. - Okay?

- Yes. - Of course it is.

I can't imagine a better set of parental experts

than the people that raised my husband.

Oh. We did do a pretty good job, huh?

That's why I'm so anxious to hear from Dr. Klein.

The world needs another Clark Kent.

(dispatcher) Guard down at Metropolis federal penitentiary.

Trouble at the penitentiary.

[bell rings]

(Superman) Who did this?

Apparently, no one. The gate came down on its own.

- How is that possible? - We didn't think it was.

Brakes have got to be taken off. That big lever thrown.

And no one touched them?

The tower guard saw it happen.

The machinery moved like it had a mind of its own.

[buzzer]

[music through headphones]

[intense music]

I never did like Andy Williams.

M-Mensa.

W-what are you doing here? I thought you were in prison.

I'm rehabilitated, or so they say.

I've repented of my schemes.

Knock over Fort Knox and the Bank of England and..

...Merv Griffin's beach house

or so they say.

How did you get in here? The door was locked.

I thought it open.

I could've thought my way out of that prison, too

but I didn't want to reveal my secret and ruin my plans.

What plans?

The plan to take revenge on those who betrayed me.

Y-you told us, you told us the goal of Dynomonics

was to gather the best and the brightest.

Develop our mental abilities to the maximum

and, together, achieve greatness.

Precisely.

What you really wanted was to pull off criminal feats

no one had ever done before.

None of you had a problem with that

until they seized my weapons and plans and threw me into jail.

That was because we were under your spell.

And not one of my trusted inner circle came to my defense.

Is it my imagination, or is your head bigger?

Did you know the average human uses less than 10% of his brain?

I use 98.6% of mine.

Is that why they call you Fat Head?

- I hate that name. - Oh.

I spent five years in solitary

using Dynomonics to develop my brain to the ultimate.

Why?

Because I knew one day I'd be out

ready to start over right where I left off

but, this time, alone.

[sonic humming]

Wha--

What-what's going on? What are you doing?

Thinking.

[sonic humming]

[screaming]

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

[car alarm blaring]

- Thanks for lunch, honey. - Oh, sure.

Now that you've a lab space here we should do it more often.

Ah.

Um, listen, about this reconciliation between

you and me and, uh, you and mother..

Um, I was just.. Oh, gosh, how do I say this? Um..

I-I was just...hoping that you won't--

Blow it?

Yeah, me, too. Family skills are uncharted waters.

Maybe for all three of us, huh?

Look, I got to get going.

This project could put me on the scientific map.

- Really? - Mmm.

If Vanna White does the infomercial. Ka-ching!

Go get 'em, daddy.

You know, it doesn't matter how much money you have

when your time is up, it's up.

- Fortune cookie? - Carter Clavens.

Rich, powerful, healthy, dead.

Fell 30 stories, plop.

- Suicide? - Exercycle.

Bike went right out the window with him on it.

- How? - By itself.

By itself?

The cops said that it was like the bike had a mind

of its own or something.

That's what the guard told Superman

about the prison gates, isn't it?

Jimmy, see if you can find any other connection

between the two deaths, okay?

Got it.

Can we...talk? Privately?

I just, uh, came back from S.T.A.R. Labs.

Really?

Well, you could've just called me.

What did Dr. Klein say?

Oh, you..

You couldn't just call me..

...because the, uh, the news..

The news isn't good.

Dr. Klein ran every possible test he could.

Poor guy could barely even face me.

But...he told me that Superman's biology

and an Earth woman's are incompatible for reproduction.

[instrumental music]

Ohh..

I told myself I'd never make you cry. I'm sorry.

I feel so confused.

I feel like I.. I feel like I lost something I never had.

We haven't lost anything, honey.

Look, you can't try and make me feel better.

I mean, that's what you always do with everything

and it's sweet, but I know how much you wanted to have kids.

Lois, I want you to hear me, okay? Really hear me.

Every time, every time we make love..

...we make love.

That's the strongest life force there is.

And whether or not that results in another little person..

...and for me, it is creation.

[cries] Oh, Clark.

You fill me with life.

[instrumental music]

Caught me.

I came down for a glass of milk

and I just...sort of noticed this sitting here.

I know.

Clark, you know how I get when I want to fix something?

Well...first, you eat a lot of chocolate

while you figure out your next move.

Check.

Then, you get..

...that real determined look on your face.

Sort of like you got right now.

And then, the seas...part.

Listen.

We have come through almost every conceivable disaster

usually by inconceivable means.

And if conceiving is what we want

I think we're going to have to be fearless once again.

There's a man, a medical doctor who's practiced his craft

over the years on the cutting edge of science.

He's explored some fairly esoteric areas.

In fact, he treated you once.

- He did? - Saved your life.

He saved my..

Wait a minute, honey.

- Your father? - I know.

The scam artist, the dreamer.

There are things that he would have to know.

You're right. We'd have to tell him.

[instrumental music]

We'd have to tell him everything.

[telephone rings]

- Hello? - Mother?

Oh, hi, baby.

I just got into town, and I dropped by this, uh..

this rat hole that your father's working in to surprise him.

[laughing]

Uh, you sound surprised, too.

Listen, mom, it's great to hear your voice

and it's not that I don't want to talk to you

but, um, could I speak to daddy?

Yeah, of course, sweetheart.

Don't think for a minute that I'm hurt.

- Sam? - Huh?

- Your daughter. - Ah.

Mother, we'll have lunch.

Ah. Ellen, you'll have lunch.

Yeah, please, please. I'm fine. I'm fine.

- Uh, she's fine. - I know, I heard.

Um...listen, daddy, I was, uh, wondering

if you could come by for coffee tomorrow morning.

Sure. What's going on?

I, uh, I've never met one of Sam's partners before.

Lots of times, they were locked up before I could.

Um...this is nice, Mickey.

Misha. Name is Misha.

Uh, I didn't visit his lab much

when he was doing those crackpot get-rich-quick schemes.

So...what are you two working on?

- Breasts in a bottle. - Excuse me?

Breasts in a bottle. Fabulous full-figured fun in a pill.

So far, works only on mice.

- Ah, what is this? - It's called, "Bummer Be Gone."

Eliminates all painful memories from brain.

Really? Ah.

(Lois) Mom likes to sleep in.

Maybe you just shouldn't even bother waking her up.

Uh...why don't you just not mention it to her at all?

Ah, I get it, delicate issue.

Alright. Sure. Right. Hey, see you.

(Misha) 'No, no, please, Mrs. Lane, I beg of you. No. Please.'

- Let her rip, doc. - Sam.

For God's sake, be careful.

That thing hasn't been perfected yet. It could be dangerous.

And years of repressed trauma aren't?

Honey, let me take you out to dinner

see what I can do to erase those painful memories.

Alright, Sam. You're on.

[instrumental music]

[keys clacking]

[glass breaking]

[screaming]

[instrumental music]

[doorbell rings]

I think Clark's secret is safe.

My dad will be the only other person who knows.

Mother?

I wish you wouldn't sound so shocked when you say that.

Ohh...I'm such a slug in the morning

but I woke up this morning feeling just glad to be alive.

Maybe because I had such a good time last night.

Oh, daddy, how nice.

Well...uh...Sam.

Do you want to maybe go on into the kitchen

so we can ask you about, uh, th-that stuff for the story?

Oh, I would love to hear about it.

No, no.

Ellen, I've got some coffee and some pastries.

It's just a lot of dry technical stuff.

It really isn't very interesting at all.

Uh, sorry about your mother, honey

but she nabbed me just as I was leaving

and since I'm trying to rebuild our relationship

ditching her seemed to be a bad idea.

Are-are you alright?

Sam...you've done medical research

in a lot of different fields, right?

Yeah.

How about the field of infertility?

Infertility?

Wha.. You-you two are trying to..

Really? Oh, that's wonderful.

Well, uh, yeah, um, but, see, uh, the thing is--

Oh. If you guys are having trouble getting pregnant

there are a lot of experts more qualified than me.

Not necessarily.

You see, we've got, uh, an added, uh, challenge.

Daddy...telling you this next thing is..

Well, it's one of the toughest decisions we've ever made.

This is something that has to be kept secret, Sam.

(Lois) 'Unfortunately, even from mother.'

It's a dangerous secret and only those that have

to know have to know.

Ah, a secret from mother? That's easy.

[laughing]

Uh...honey?

[exhales]

[whirring]

[instrumental music]

Oh, jeez.

[instrumental music]

What you just did there, that that-that's humanly impossible.

Exactly.

[instrumental music]

[door rattles]

Mensa...or is it Fat Head now?

Don't call me Fat Head!

[instrumental music]

No! Stop it! Please! Help!

You could've been the commissar of science

in my Dynomonics empire!

Then I would've had to have killed thousands of people

blown up thousands of buildings. I could not live with that.

Ah. And double-crossing me, you think you can live with that?

No, please, you must listen to what I'm saying.

How do you say "So long, loser" in Russki?

If Misha dies, secret dies with him.

Secret? What secret?

Secret of giving you power you always dream of.

With what? "Breasts in a bottle?"

Weapon.. Secret weapon you once begged me to create.

You did it?

[coughs]

Are you telling me you've actually built the gizmo?

Yes, yes.

An amplifier that will harvest

Fat Head's superior mental ability

multiply it a thousandfold

and make you able to-to bend anyone or anything to your will.

Well...don't just stand there, you quivering, craven coward.

Trot it out.

- Is not perfected yet. - Not perfected?

Uh, a little fine-tuning. Needs a little fine-tuning.

Then, perfected very soon.

You have until tomorrow morning.

And don't even think about running out on me.

I've got eyes and ears everywhere.

More importantly..

...I got a brain.

Sam?

'You look like you're in shock.'

I'm fine, fine, fine.

Huh. Alright, if you say so, but it's almost as if you

weren't helping them on a story at all

but hearing some Earth-shattering news instead.

[laughing]

That's not it, of course.

No, no, no. Uh, we should be going.

Yes, we should.

You know, this sounds so ridiculous

but I have this crazy feeling

that everybody here knows something I don't.

Oh, mother, what would we know that you don't?

You're right. I'm being silly.

- Are you dying? - No.

Oh, well, that's great.

'Oh, Martha, don't forget'

'to give me the recipe for the popovers.'

- Oh, do you bake? - No, not really.

Sam, I'll get Superman's files

from S.T.A.R. Labs as soon as I can.

And, uh, thank you.

- Hmm. - Ohh. Sam.

Sam, are you coming?

Or do you have some more secret stuff to discuss with Clark?

[laughing]

Oh, my God. In a few hours, he's going to be here.

- Sam. Sam? - Not now, Misha.

I'm up to my knees in Shinola here.

This morning, I have to deliver a machine

that will super-enhance the brain's energy.

I didn't know such a thing existed.

[laughs] It doesn't.

Ah. These figures can't be right.

You've got to help me, Sam.

What the hell are you working on over there?

Ah, it's a little project of mine.

It's nothing important.

You wouldn't be holding out on me, Sam, would you?

I'm in real trouble.

If you've got something there

that can help buy me some time..

No, no, no, I don't think so.

[instrumental music]

Well..

[instrumental music]

Sam, I'm going to have a cup of coffee.

You want one?

- Oh, coffee, yeah, thanks. - No problem, partner.

Anything for you, partner.

[instrumental music]

You're going to tell me your secret, Sam. All of them.

[instrumental music]

It's a new dawn, unsleuthable crimes untraceable to me.

[instrumental music]

[groans]

[engine starts]

(male #2) 'Hey, hey, wait a minute!'

'What's happening?'

Wow, where's the challenge?

Now we rendezvous at my place. Follow that car.

I can't stop! I can't!

[car honks horn]

Stop! Look out!

Hey!

[honks horn]

Move! Move!

'Look out! Look out!'

'Oh, my God.'

[lady screaming]

[dramatic music]

- Are you alright, sir? - It wasn't me, Superman.

The car just drove itself.

Him. I heard about him the whole time I was in prison.

Superman.

Okay, this one is pretty strange.

First, the guard gets knocked down by his own gun

then the armored car takes off

and the driver said it was driving itself.

Like the exercise bike moved by itself

or the prison gate moved by itself.

Just as Klaus Mensa was released.

Oh, by the way, I found out that Klaus Mensa

started this cult called Dynomonics.

They believed anything can be achieved

with advanced mental techniques.

I'm going to try my father again.

I don't know why he's not answering.

[dials]

[telephone rings]

- Good morning. - Mother?

- Am I interrupting anything? - No.

(Sam on answering machine) 'Hi, this is Sam Lane. I'm not in right now, so if you'll..'

- Calling your father? - No. Yes, uh, just to say hi.

Do you know he said he couldn't see me last night?

- He was working. - Oh.

- He said he's working for you. - He did?

On that story that you're doing.

Oh, yes, right. Yeah.

Clark, look, mother.

Oh, hi, Ellen.

Um, Sam's busy so I thought maybe

I could steal Lois here for lunch.

Well, I'd love to.

(Jimmy) 'Lois, Clark, I forgot to tell you.'

Miss Bailey's on her way over here for--

Uh, Jimmy.

I just, I can't believe you guys were thinking about--

- It's for a story, Jimmy. - Yeah, here.

Well, looks like I'm not available. I'm sorry.

- How about dinner tonight? - Yeah, that'd be fine.

Uh, honey...if you were dying, I'd know, wouldn't I?

Yes.

Before a lot of other people, I mean.

You would be at the top of...my death notification list.

Oh. Thank you, sweetheart. You'll see.

It's the little things that count when you're a mom.

Oh, Sam, for the last time, what are you working on?

- What is the secret project? - I'm-I'm..

Ohh. Stubborn old fool. We're running out of time!

I'm trying...to help...my daughter.

I don't know how much more of this you can take.

I'm trying to help my daughter.

She's-she's...married..

...to Superman.

Clark Kent?

I'm not having a good morning! Where's my machine?

Not quite perfected yet, unfortunately.

What did you say?

But I have some information you might like just as much.

[instrumental music]

(Ms. Bailey) 'Well, well, well.'

Well, well, well, well, well. Hmm-hmm.

Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmmm.

You know, we almost forgot

that we even made this appointment, Miss Bailey.

When we started talking about having kids

we thought we'd explore all of our options.

And we didn't know much about the adoption process.

Mm-hmm. You know, our task at county adoption

isn't just finding the right child for a parent.

It's finding the right parent for our children.

I've started a preliminary work-up on the two of you

to get an idea of your suitability.

- You have? - Well, it wasn't difficult.

You are, after all, two of our most prominent citizens.

Oh, I don't know if I'd say most prominent.

Don't be modest, Ms. Lane.

Your contributions to the city couldn't be overestimated.

Well, you know, we try.

Which, uh, brings me to the problem.

Problem?

Uh, Mr. Kent, you are a model of propriety.

You do your job, you make an excellent income.

You shun the spotlight.

Out of a possible 100 points, I gave you 97.

- Oh, well, thank you. - What did I get?

Something lower.

Miss Lane, on almost a weekly basis

you manage to dangle above the jaws of death.

I dangle above the jaws of death?

Like an hors d'oeurve. Usually in situations so terrifying

you require rescue by Superman.

But-but it's not like she's looking for the jaws of death.

Yeah, I can't help it.

That's what I'm talking about.

You may be what we in psychology call a thrill addict.

What?

Someone who places oneself in danger

to satisfy some subliminal need.

On the face of it, I'd say you have an obsession with Superman.

Oh!

I-I do not.

Nineteen.

You gave him a 97, and you gave me a 19?

And that includes five points for being a U.S. Citizen.

Miss Bailey, my wife is a complete professional.

Someone who cares very, very much about this world.

Frankly, she's, she's the best person that I know.

Now, any child who is lucky to have Lois as their mother

will be the luckiest child alive.

'Well, that may be, Mr. Kent.'

And these work-ups are preliminary

but at this point, I certainly couldn't recommend

placing a child in your home.

[doorbell rings]

- Ellen! Hi. - You free for lunch?

You may be the only person I know who is.

Not that you were my last choice.

You seem a little blue.

I don't know. Maybe it's just my imagination.

I just, get the impression that everyone.. Well, not everyone.

I mean, just you and Jonathan and Lois and Clark and Sam

know something that I don't.

- Oh, Ellen. - I know.

It would just make me feel so much better

if you could just say to me

"Ellen, may God strike me dead

if we're keeping something from you."

[telephone rings]

Hello? Hi!

Ah, no, dear, he's not here.

We haven't been able to get hold of him either.

Jonathan's gone over to check on him. Bye.

Well, I'm sure that was none of my business.

Ellen, I think if you could just look at this objectively--

You know, you say that

like you're talking to a healthy person.

Martha, I have as much self-esteem as chipped beef.

And it's starting to feel like every single person in the world

knows something I don't.

Oh, that's just ridiculous.

[instrumental music]

I know a secret.

- My God, even him! - Come on!

[instrumental music]

- What do you want? - I want you, ladies.

[instrumental music]

- You're coming with me. - Oh, oh!

[instrumental music]

Sam, I don't mean to nag

but do you do any checking on these crackpots

before you sign them up as partners?

- I'm not a crackpot! - No, dear, trust me, you are.

Look, I thought I was free of Fat Head years ago.

But now he's caught me between his Fat Head and a hard place.

He'll kill me if I don't help him.

- Jonathan! - Are you alright?

(Mensa) 'Just shut up!'

Well, when it comes to Superman's nearest and dearest

I pretty much have myself a complete set.

- What the hell does that mean? - Ellen!

I don't know. I think he's got us confused with somebody else.

Don't play stupid with me, blondie.

We all know what I'm talking about. Don't we?

- What, even him? - He got it from him.

Oh, it's wonderful. Thanks a lot, Sam.

There's a shipment of gold bullion

at the new Troy bank, awaiting an escort to Fort Knox.

That gold is ours, Misha. No one's gonna try to stop us.

Not even Superman, because he knows

what will happen if he tries. Doesn't he?

What?

[telephone ringing]

[sighs]

Honey, she is not the final word on this.

- Don't be sad. - I'm not sad, I'm angry.

You know, it's discrimination.

What, no people with risky jobs can have kids?

So, I guess cops and test pilots and trapeze artists

can forget it, too.

And what does she think?

Does she think that I'm deliberately

gonna run around sticking my neck out after I adopt a child?

I mean, how dumb does she think I am?

Ha ha. See, this is why I love you.

'Cause I'm crabby?

No, because you never give up.

We'll figure something out.

And in the meantime, we'll just have a terrific family of two.

Okay, guess which cult Mr. Exercise Bike

was involved with.

- Dynomonics. - Yep. Run by Klaus Mensa.

He, uh, believed the mind was capable of anything

and he spent his life trying to focus the power

of his whole brain.

Not just the little that most of us use.

This is really interesting.

Alright, this is a picture taken of him before he went to prison.

And this was taken after he got out.

[laughing]

In prison, he got the nickname Fat Head.

Wonder why, huh?

His head looks like an over-developed muscle.

Clark, that prison guard died after Fat Head was released

by a gate closing by itself.

And the exercise bike that killed Carter Clavens.

And the armored truck that Superman stopped.

Have you ever seen Yuri Geller do his act?

He focuses his mind on a fork.

And it bends. All by itself.

Telekinesis.

I think Klaus Mensa's turned his mind into a deadly weapon.

(female #1) Full tactical alert.

What? What are you hearing?

I'm not sure.

Something's going on at the new Troy bank.

[sirens blaring]

Superman, bank robbery going down. We can't even get close.

- How many of them are there? - One.

- Armed with what? - Nothing.

And he did all this?

[instrumental music]

Oh!

Alright, Mensa, that's enough.

Your powers won't work on me.

Probably true.

That's why I got a hold of the people you love the most.

You know who I'm talking about.

The big four. So, you so much as look cross-eyed at me

and well, it won't be a pretty death.

(Mensa) 'You think I'm joking, big boy? Try me.'

'Not so sure of yourself, now, are you?'

Better think this through, Misha.

Sitting around that cult of yours.

A crime spree might sound kind of fun, but this is serious.

Those cops are hurt!

Any chance of you rebuilding your life

is getting mighty slim.

Shut up, both of you. I don't have a choice.

You got any doubt that I'm holding on to your loved ones

I'll let them talk to you over a frequency

only you and I can hear.

He says he's got our parents.

(Mensa) 'Well, the little wife showed up, too. Perfect.'

[instrumental music]

(Jonathan) 'Hi, I'm afraid it's true.'

He's got me, too.

- He does have them. - Superman, Ellen Lane!

Alright, I'll help you.

- What do we do? - Come here.

Rainbows follow stormy skies.

Your father just said, "Rainbows follow stormy skies."

He used to say that when I was a kid.

It means everything's alright.

[instrumental music]

Alright, stop right there.

No closer, pal. That's it.

Okay, I warned you. Gas 'em!

[coughing and wheezing]

Hey, didn't you hear that?

Man, you are a cold fish.

Lieutenant, I'm going to take this car

and personally fly it back to the penitentiary myself.

[instrumental music]

[engine revving]

[tires squealing]

Superman, we couldn't hold Fat Head. He's gone.

I'm in big trouble here.

Superman doesn't care that I killed his parents.

The guy's gone berserk!

Where's that machine that will pump up my brain power?

It's not ready yet.

I don't care if it's not ready!

Hook me up. The guy will be here any second!

Alright, but I'm warning you.

Okay. Hit it!

[buzzing]

Too late, Superman.

I am invincible.

[buzzing]

It's alright. Shut it down.

[buzzing]

I can't. Something is wrong.

His mental strength's amplifying the power of the machine.

Wait a minute!

His parents? I know what the big secret is!

[buzzing]

[buzzing]

[explosion]

[machine powers down]

[Mensa panting]

His head's back to normal.

And his powers seem to be gone.

- What about the others? - Others? What others?

My God, you know something, I have no unpleasant memories.

The Bummer Be Gone, it works!

[crying]

Well, my parents are back to normal.

Clueless that their son-in-law moonlights in tights.

I guess knowing I'm Superman

brought them nothing but unpleasantness.

So, now, that memory is gone.

I don't think mom remembers being mad at daddy either.

Apparently not, because I caught them kissing out on the terrace.

[sighs] Clark, I'm sorry.

For what?

I'm sorry that daddy can't find anything wrong

with the S.T.A.R. Labs data.

He doesn't think we'll be able to have kids.

Honey, I have not for one second doubted in us.

We live the impossible.

A child is something brought about by love, isn't it?

Well, then that above all else

has got to be possible for us.

[buzzing]

What? What are you hearing?

I'm not sure.

Well, what does it sound like?

I can't actually believe what it sounds like.

[instrumental music]

"Lois and Clark, this child belongs to you."

[baby gurgling]

[instrumental music]

- Son, everything alright? - Everyone okay?

- We saw the lights. - Lois?

Ah, yeah, everyone, everything is absolutely fine.

Um, mom and dad, and, uh, mom and dad

uh, we have something to tell you.

[instrumental music]

[baby gurgling]

[instrumental music]

[theme music]