All language subtitles for S04E16_track3_[und]

[instrumental music]

So, maybe the chef's recipes
were authentic

but our waiter's
accent, uff.

I think the closest
he's ever been to Italy

was watching
"Godfather Part III."

- Mmm.
- Oh..

Hey, let's just forget
picking up these file disks.

We're not going to get
any work done tonight anyway.

You know what
pasta does to me.

You want me to
leave my work here?

What if the building
burns down?

What if it explodes?

That's been
known to happen.

Then I would have
to start from scratch.

Better safe than sorry.

Can you say obsessive?

I'm obsessively in love
with Clark Kent.

[moaning]

Happy birthday.

Mmm, thank you.

But it's not officially
my birthday until tomorrow.

Well, it must be tomorrow
somewhere in the world.

What? There's a crisis?

Bank robbery?
Terrorist strike?

- Ribbon cutting.
- What?

I completely forgot.

Superman promised to be
at a hospital reopening.

I guess you can get some
work done tonight after all.

A hospital reopening?
It's the middle of the night.

Not in New Zealand.

It's only going
to be couple of hours.

But...Clark!
No, Clark!

[sighs]

Surprise!
Surprise!

Forget it.
It's just me. Again.

Lois, this is
the second time.

I know, I know.

I'm going to make this
happen, though, I swear.

Just Clark and I have
to get a little better

about our scheduling,
that's all.

Well, maybe by the time
you pull this off

I'll actually have a date.

Probably not.

(male #1)
'Good morning, Diticom.'

'Yes. One moment,
I'll transfer you.'

(Doris)
'Ooh, girl, what is with all
this Superman stuff?'

'You gotta be
kidding me, right?'

Honey, when are you going
to get out in the world

'and meet a real man?'

They don't come any realer
than Superman, Doris.

Penny, look,
you're a beautiful girl

'you're smart, you're educated'

you can have
your pick of guys.

Why waste your time
on some fantasy?

He's not a fantasy, Doris.

Underneath all that spandex
beats the heart of a man.

Are you still laboring
under the theory

that Superman might have
some sort of..

...secret identity
or something?

How else would someone
like him ever

hope to lead
any kind of normal life, hmm?

If that's true

I don't know how you expect
to find out what it is.

By using modern
criminology techniques.

First, I've constructed
a psychological profile

of the man of steel.

'I've taken that profile'

'and factored in my theory
of a secret identity.'

'Early to mid 20s,
possibly 30s.'

Probably a professional
connected to mass communication.

I fed all this information
into the computer

'cross referenced
with everything'

'we know about Superman.'

At this point, it becomes
simply about numbers.

If you ask me,
it's just a waste of time.

'I'll see you later.'

(Penny)
'Talk to me, computer.'

James Olsen...97% Superman.

I'll see if we can
make it a hundred.

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[electric buzz]

See that, Steve-O?

That's what we'll be capable of
after your mission Thursday.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's what
I wanted to talk to you about.

Oh, you're having
second thoughts.

It's only natural, but..

...remember our dream,
Steve-O.

Former President Borman's dream.

His vision of a strategic
defense system

would have ushered in
a whole new era of peace.

No country or leader
would ever again think

of warring on its neighbor for
fear of instant annihilation.

Instead, the annihilator
just floats silently

above us unfinished.

Well, maybe people

just aren't meant to have
that kind of power.

'You ever think
about that?'

Maybe, Congress was right
to pull the plug.

No. If the United States
government is unwilling

to do what is necessary,
I will do it for them.

No longer will there
be relative morality.

There will be
absolute morality. Mine.

Well, you're gonna
have to do it without me.

I've decided to go through
with this mission

the way that NASA
has it on the books.

What? Steve-O, they want to
destroy my satellite platform.

Steve-o!

We need to test the pulse
converter prototype

before the real one
goes up Thursday, Peters.

And I've just decided
on the ideal target.

[dramatic music]

[electric buzzing]

A high-profile astronaut
doesn't just disappear

36 hours
before a mission.

Exactly. I want you and Clark
on this yesterday.

Oh, where is Clark?

Uh, dry cleaners.

They gave him
the wrong shirts.

Oh, boy, look at that.

Superman cleaned up that
toxic waste this morning

he still has time to tee off
for the celebrity match.

You got to hand it
to that guy.

Sure do.

Hey.

There's the birthday boy.

Yeah.
Sorry I'm late.

Golf, huh?

Yeah.

It was for a charity
for the kids.

Superman couldn't
really say no.

Doesn't seem to be
in his vocabulary.

- What do you mean?
- Nothing.

- Here.
- What's this?

A missing astronaut.
Captain Steve McBride.

NASA has no clue
where he is.

They found
some ashy residue

in the street where
his car was parked.

Police forensics
is trying to type it.

McBride was scheduled for
a shuttle mission this Thursday?

Maybe, somebody wanted
him off the flight roster.

We should talk to NASA

see what kind of mission
that shuttle was going on.

[telephone rings]

James Olsen.

Yes, Mr. Olsen,
my name is Penny Barnebeedian.

I'm a student
at Metropolis University.

Journalism major.

One of our assignments is
to interview

a working journalist
and I was wondering if--

Uh, Lane and Kent
are on a story right now

Miss, uh, Barnebeedian.

Uh, but if you want
to leave a number--

Oh, no, no, no, no.
Not them. You.

'I want to interview you.'

Uh...do you know
what it is I do here?

I thought you would tell me
about it over lunch.

Lunch?

You do eat lunch,
don't you?

- Yeah.
- 'Good.'

The Roma Cafe, 1 o'clock.

Alright. Bye.

Engage the soundproofing.

[beeps]

What did you find out?

Oh. Uh...the shuttle launch
is going off as per schedule

and they've already replaced
Captain McBride.

Which is exactly
what we have to do!

Who's the new boy?

Shirley Farnum.

When that shuttle
goes up

we've got to make sure that
she's working for us.

Use the same channels you used
to procure McBride.

But, Mr. Grady, sir,
that took time.

We have less than
36 hours this time.

If that shuttle goes up and
we don't have a ringer on board

our satellite
is going to be destroyed

along with any hope
for world peace.

Thanks for coming down here
to speak to us, Mr. Paladin.

Well, that's what the Federal
Office of Information is for.

Your office describes

the upcoming space mission
as "routine."

Yes. Yes, you'll find
no headline there, Miss Lane.

Captain McBride was to take

an outmoded weather satellite
out of service.

With 6,000 manmade objects
floating around out there.

- It's pretty crowded.
- Tell me about it.

Do you know anyone who might
want to harm captain McBride?

Of course not.

So...what we have here

is a man that everyone liked

On a perfectly
routine mission.

Who suddenly vanishes
into thin air.

Well..

Mr. Paladin, the Office
of Information

seems to have anything but.

An internal investigation
is being conducted.

Oh, great.

Could you tell us the nature
of the investigation?

Certainly.

It's...internal.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Thank you for the coffee,
by the way.

Gee, that went great.

James Olsen?

Uh, uh, Jimmy.

[chuckles]

Just, Jimmy.

I thought
you'd be taller.

I-I can be taller.

Right, boots.

Um, you want
to get a table?

Yeah, yeah. Table, table
would be good.

Table, please.

So, when exactly did you start
working at the "Daily Planet?"

Uh, a little over
four years ago.

I started as
an office grunt

moved my way up
to photo assistant.

Of course, over the years
I've worked my way up the ranks

so, uh, now I'm a, uh,
Junior Assistant City Editor.

Uh-huh.

You and Lois Lane,
you...get along?

Oh, yeah. Lois and I,
we're total buds.

And Superman?

- What about him?
- You and he, close?

Oh, like this.

- At least..
- Well, I mean--

And what about
other relationships?

I imagine in your line of work,
it's tough to maintain a..

...romance.

Romance? No, heh, it's funny
you bring that up

'cause this last year alone,
there's been a lot.

I mean, not a lot.

Several is
the wrong word.

Um, you know, it's just
that in my line of work

my schedule is so unpredictable
that most women

my social life's in the pits,
to be honest.

[honks]

[crash]

Excuse me,
I'd better call 911.

[whoosh]

(female # 1)
'Thank you!'

Oh!

I'm sorry,
I ran off like that.

I'll confess, Jimmy

I don't have much
of a social life myself

but that's because I've
been waiting for that..

...certain someone.

Here's my number.

You were wonderful.

I can't wait to see you
in your blue suit again.

I don't even own
a blue suit.

But I'll
definitely get one.

I got copies
of McBride 's phone records.

How you doing?
Any luck?

One late alimony payment
and a parking ticket.

No enemies.
Everybody loved this guy.

If Steve McBride
was running from something

I have no idea
what it was.

Unless, of course,
you don't think

he was playing
in a golf tournament

and forgot to tell
anybody about it?

Oh, you're still
mad about that.

I was never mad.

- Honey, you were mad.
- Okay, maybe I was.

'Clark, it's not just
the golf tournaments'

it's the charities,
it's the visiting the troops

it's the hospital
reopenings.

We hardly ever
see each other.

Honey, I know it's been
a busy couple of weeks.

It's always a busy
couple of weeks

and I know there are certain
disasters that are unavoidable

but all these
public appearances?

Lois, it's all just part
of what Superman does.

I just think
we need to prioritize.

Do you realize it's been over
a week since we've made love?

Eight days, six hours, four
minutes, and two seconds..

...but who's counting?

Look...I set aside a day
just for us.

I checked both of our books
and the 16th is wide open.

You don't have to worry
about anything.

I've got it all planned.

- Sweetheart.
- What?

Is that the book
you checked?

Yeah. I looked
in this book.

This is your day planner.

Yeah.

Here.

You have two books?

Superman has
a day planner?

Honey, could you say that
a little louder?

I don't think
everybody heard you.

Clark, you're booked well
into the next century.

Most of those dates
aren't even confirmed yet.

I-I promise you,
we can work this out.

You've got something
on the 16th.

Hey, Jimmy,
how you doing?

Hey...nice suit.

Very...blue.

Thanks. I'm kind of
breaking it in.

I got a date tonight.

This girl, she
made the first move.

I...she made
all the moves.

Uh, of course,
maybe it's 'cause I wasn't

completely
honest with her.

I kind of embellished
some things about myself.

(Clark)
'That's perfectly
normal, Jimmy.'

'Everybody does that in
the getting to know you phase.'

Right. Oh! This fax
just came for you.

Thanks.

- What is it?
- Uh..

That ashy residue
found at the scene

of McBride's
disappearance.

- They figure out what it was?
- Yeah.

Steve McBride.

What? How?

Local forensics
don't know how

so they turned it over
to the FBI

'special weapons
division.'

Weapons?

Why do I get the feeling
McBride's shuttle mission

isn't as routine
as everyone's saying?

- Excuse me.
- Mr. Kent, how did you?

This area's restricted.

Mr. Paladin, I'd like you
to take a look at something.

That's the FBI special report
on that ashy substance

found at the scene
of McBride's disappearance.

My office
is not prepared

to issue a statement
at this time.

Captain McBride
was murdered, Mr. Paladin.

The FBI thinks
that those ashes

were the result of some sort
of military weapon.

Captain McBride
wasn't going up there

to destroy some
weather satellite, was he?

Look...I know he was
a friend of yours.

I'm just trying to find out
what happened to him.

The satellite McBride
was going to destroy

was part of an obsolete
weapons system.

Ten years ago, the government
initiated the design

of a very powerful
defense satellite.

The annihilator, yeah,
but it was never built.

Well, yes and no.

It was never finished.

The satellite platform
was actually put into orbit

but the power source, the pulse
converter, was never built.

So that's what this shuttle
mission's all about?

Yes, we're quashing the platform
to be rid of it for good.

Even the plans for the pulse
converter were destroyed.

What if someone made
a copy of these plans

and what if they
actually built this thing?

It's useless to them.

They'd have no way
of getting

to the satellite
to install it.

Unless of course
they bribed an astronaut.

So this pulse converter

what kind of destruction
is it capable of?

It reduces a target
of any size..

...to ashes.

Sir, perhaps vaporizing
Captain McBride

was the wrong approach.

People are
asking questions.

It, uh, makes it
very difficult

to get near
the other astronauts.

If the disappearance
of one lousy astronaut

gets this much heat

just think of the reaction when
an entire state disappears.

A state, sir?

Peters, simply having
the annihilator operational

that's not enough
to ensure world peace.

The public has to
see it in action.

They've got to witness
what it's capable of

by vaporizing say...
West Virginia.

But sir, people live
in West Virginia

- Americans.
- Exactly.

When the world sees what
the annihilator can do

nations will beat their
swords into plowshares.

And mankind will live
in perfect..

...blessed brotherhood.

Or I will blast
the hell out of them.

I had a wonderful
time tonight.

Me, too.

I can't believe you
ordered in French.

Neither could
the waiter.

I mean,
it was a steakhouse.

Well, I've
had a lot of time

to brush up on things
like foreign languages.

When you've got no social life,
you have that luxury.

You know, I-I don't
understand that.

I would think a girl like you
would have a lot of dates.

Well, it's not like I don't
get asked out by guys.

I-I do all the time.

Some have been dweebs.

Some have actually
been pretty nice

But none were you

Mr. Junior-Assistant-City
Editor-Crime-fighter.

[chuckles]

Uh...Penny..

...about me being Junior
Assistant City Editor.

That's not exactly
my real job.

I know.

You do?

Jimmy, I haven't been
totally honest with you either.

You haven't?

Come with me. I want
to show you something.

I work here.

I'm not really
a University student, Jimmy.

You're not?
Then why?

Soundproofing.

Just in case.

[chuckles]

Are, uh.. Are we going to be
making a lot of noise?

The walls have ears.

I know how important it is
to you that no one finds out.

Well, actually.. What?

I mean . Look at all
the trouble you've gone to.

It's brilliant, frankly.

What better secret identity
than some newspaper schmo?

Who would ever guess that nobody
office grunt Jimmy Olsen

was really...Superman?

Wait a minute,
you think I-I..

Look..

All that searching,
all that waiting

all those times
I said no..

It was worth it.

Uh, Penny..

Um, I probably heard
you wrong, but, uh.. Oh..

Uh, you seem to think
I'm, ha-ha, Superman.

It took me two years

several thousand
bytes of information

and Diticom's state of the art
computer system.

But I did it.

You were a 97% match.

Uh, Penny,
I really? 97%?

And even then
I wasn't sure

until yesterday

when you turned into...him.

But don't worry.

I won't tell anyone.

Your secret's
safe with me.

- It is?
- Yes.

Ah. Penny..

What's it like
to be you?

So brave,
so fearless

so...lonely?

- It's hell.
- Oh, Superman.

Honey Braun industries
had the annihilator contract.

After congress pulled the plug,
Honey Braun went belly-up

and was sold off
piece by piece.

Which means whoever got a hold
of those blueprints..

Was one of several buyers.

Catching up on
your correspondence?

It just takes me
a minute.

- What's all this?
- It's...fan mail.

Wow. I knew
you got postcards

and an occasional batch of
oatmeal scotchies, but this..

The post office holds anything
that's addressed to Superman.

Every couple of months

I sort of...fly by
and pick it up.

I learn more about you
every day.

An awful lot of people
want to hear from Superman

sick kids, lonely folks, a..

Are these from the sick
or the lonely?

Or both?

Uh, I get a little
of that, too.

Well, must be a kick
to be adored like that.

Well, it's-it's not
so much that, honey.

But I mean, but the cards,
the postcards

the letters,
the charity functions

they-they do
serve a purpose.

I see so much
of the bad in people

crime and violence, but..

To see the good things,
it sort of..

...recharges my spirit.

'Just like the sun recharges
Superman's powers'

Well, these small things
they...sort of recharge me.

Oh! Thought I did that.

Honey, you sustain me.

(female #2)
Help, Superman.

Uh, someone's in trouble.
They're calling for help.

Help! Superman!

Help! Superman!

What seems to be
the trouble, miss?

Uh, uh, miss, please.

I'm sorry to bother you
like this, honey.

And I won't ever
cry wolf again

but after you left
tonight, I just..

...I couldn't stop
thinking about you.

[chuckles]

I had to see you...in
that...suit.

I...uh, um..

Ex-excuse me.
You seem to be, uh..

...healthy and strong,
I have to fly now.

Excuse me.

[whoosh]

Mr. Grady!

I think, I've just found
McBride's alternate

And the leverage
we need to get him.

[scrubbing]

Morning.

Morning.

Talked to my contact
in the FEC.

She's going to get me
a list of the buyers

that purchased pieces
of Honey Braun.

We should have it
this afternoon.

Ah. Good.

You got home
kind of late last night.

Yeah. Oil fire in Detroit.

Lois, I just want
to say I'm sorry.

Oh, no, you don't have to.
I was wrong.

No, you weren't.

When I was flying around
last night

I had a chance to think.
I mean, you were right.

We're married now,
and well, Superman

'can't go off and attend
every single event'

and charity function
that he's invited to.

True!

But I can understand

how Superman needs
to experience the good

and I want you
to have that, Clark.

Because when you
fly home to me

I want you to be okay.

- Is that lipstick?
- Huh?

Oh, yeah.
It's the weirdest thing

'cause that soot from the oil
fire came right out

but this is not..

Oh. There was a crazy woman
who sort of attacked me, but..

I mean, I got away.
It was no big deal

just she was, whew.

Oh! Well, good.

Uh, I mean..

There's a letter
you missed last night.

Oh!

- What is it?
- An event at the regent hotel.

Uh, "Ladies',
Overseas Aid."

Oh. Oh, they're
a a very worthy charity.

Never heard of them.

Oh, no, no, no, no.
They're really, uh.

No, it's really
a good charity.

I, I-I have
heard of them.

You should do it.

I gotta prioritize
and besides

I think I should
really spend my time

in much more
important things.

Um, but, I'm, I'm telling you
that this is

no, this is
really important

and see, then Superman
would feel all the good

and you'd be able
to bring that home.

I know he does

Um, but I just
I'm your wife.

I think you
should take it.

I-I just think
you should.

Honey, why..

Okay!

Her? That's Superman's
girlfriend? Peggy?

Uh, Penny, sir. And yes.

Absolutely.
I saw her with my own eyes.

Are you sure
this is going to work?

It's a time honored
tradition.

We hold his woman captive
and threaten to kill her.

If he doesn't
do our bidding.

Yes, but it won't
come to that, Peters.

When Superman sees
what we're about, world peace

for right-thinking people

he'll gladly help us.

He'll fly directly
to that satellite

and install
the pulse converter for us.

Perhaps, sir.

But just in case

we must be willing to make
good on our threat.

Oh, of course.

Superman's girlfriend

working in my
secretarial pool.

Who would have thought?

- Chief.
- Hmm?

It's all arranged.

What is?

- Clark's surprise party.
- Oh!

It's Saturday
at the Regent hotel.

Just tell them
at the front desk

that you're with the
Ladies' Overseas Aid.

Okay.

(Clark)
Right! Right.
Okay, thank you very much.

Hey!

So your contact
came through.

These are all the records
of where every single piece

of Honey Braun
industries ended up

after its liquidation

so somewhere
in this mess

is the name of the person
we're looking for.

Let's dig in.

Okay. Oh, also I called

the Ladies' Overseas Aid
office to confirm.

You called them?

Yeah, but they didn't even
know they'd asked..

...Superman to speak.

Then it turns out
that their function

isn't at the Regent.
It's at the Civic Center.

- The Civic Center?
- Mm-hmm.

- Saturday?
- Yeah.

Where you going?

I've, uh...
got to cancel something.

Penny? Hi, hi, it's me.

Uh, so, I was thinking
Chinese tonight.

What do you think?

Great. Great. I know
this terrific place.

Where?

Peking?

That's actually
in China, right?

Yeah, uh...well, Penny,
I was I was thinking

we should stick
to Metropolis tonight.

Well, there's nothing
I can do.

It's gonna be
a couple minutes.

Too bad you can't tell 'em
who you really are.

I bet we'd be
seated right away.

Well, Penny,
I made a solemn oath

to only use my powers
for good, never for, uh..

...dinner.

So, honey,
what was it like

fighting that oil fire?

Oil fire?

Don't be so modest.

It was on the 6:00 news.

Oh! Oh, it, it was.
God, uh...hot.

The desperate cries
of doomed men.

It must be
so painful at times.

Being you.

It is.

I hope that
doesn't make me

less of a man
in your eyes.

Are you kidding?

So that narrows it down
to Lemco, Farber industries

MacNamn systems
and Diticom technologies.

Okay, I'll take
Farber and Lemco.

You take MacNamn
and Diticom.

Hey, that's Jimmy.

That must be
his Juliet of the week.

Uh, Lois.

Hi, Jimmy.

Uh, Hi. Lois.

Oh!

Lois Lane, Clark,
This is Penny Barnebeedian.

Hello.

- Barnes.
- What?

My name's not Barnebeedian.
It's Barnes.

I lied about that.

Miss Lane,
it's a pleasure.

Oh. Well, this is great.

We can all sit together.

Oh, actually, you know what?
They're really full.

I bet we wouldn't
be able to get--

Nonsense.
I can get a table.

- Su Lee, four for dinner.
- Miss Lane?

- Mm-hmm.
- Great.

- Right this way.
- Table's ready.

(Penny)
Excuse me.

Lois, Lois.

She's adorable,
don't you think?

A little weird,
but cute.

Remember
the other night

that lipstick stain
on my...suit?

Yeah. You said
some crazy woman.

Wo men yiao den
gong bao jee ding

jie lan niow row

shre doe shia ren
tsao yu pien.

Shien lie yi ge
san shien gwo ba tong.

Twee jee.

Shie shie.

Isn't she somethin'?

Yeah. Something.

So, uh, Penny..

...how did you meet, Jimmy?

I was interviewing him.

It was an assignment
for her journalism class.

Oh, so you're
a journalism major?

- No.
- You're not?

No. It was all a lie.

Really? Well, you're nothing
if not honest.

I just wanted
to meet him.

Oh. Whoops. Ha!

Excuse me.

[clatter]

(Lois)
Clark, I know
you can hear me.

There's definitely something
weird about this woman.

First she lies to Jimmy about
being a college student

because she's supposedly
so interested in him

but then we know that
she's spending her nights

playing kissing bandit
with local superheroes.

Ah, clumsy me.

So...go on.
You were you were saying?

I was?

Oh, yes. You were telling us
what it is that you do.

Oh, I'm a secretary.

- Really? Where?
- Diticom technologies.

Whoops!

Uh, that's just...ridiculous.

I'm so...sorry.

You should see her
with silverware.

It's not
a pretty sight

so we'll just
take it away.

(Lois)
What did I tell you?

See, there is definitely
something weird about her.

Now, how suspicious
is this?

Last night, she lands
a lip-lock on you

and now, she just
happens to work

for one of the companies that

maybe resurrecting
the annihilator.

Coincidence?
I think not.

Excuse me.
I just, one second.

Your friends
are lovely.

Lois, come back
to the table.

There is something
very weird going on here.

No kidding.

Don't you think maybe, you're
just overreacting

because this woman
kissed me last night?

Well, I admit that, that bit
does not endear her to me

but what about the Diticom
connection?

(male #2)
Superman, help!

What?

I gotta go.

Go where?

[indistinct]

Found them.

Honey, uh, did you put money
in the parking meter?

I-I better go check on that.
Excuse me.

[pager beeps]

Oh, great, the office.

I wonder what the big emergency
is this time.

Copier out of toner?

Well, I, I'll
come with you.

No, no, you stay
with Miss Lane.

I'll be back.

So what do you think?

I think I left
the gas on at home.

Tell Clark I went
to check on it.

- Kung pao chicken.
- Spicy broccoli with snow peas.

'Sauteed fillet fish.'

Oh. Mr. Grady.

Someone paged me?

[clears throat]

What's going on?

Mr. Grady was thinking

seeing how you and Superman
are so close

maybe, he could
help us out.

So why don't you give
Superman a call?

Set up a meeting.

(Penny)
'Get away from me!'

(Peters)
'Come here! That's it.'

'Wait till he hears
about this, Peters.'

'I don't think he's
gonna find out.'

- 'Get away!'
- 'Now stop it!'

'Stand still.'

[screaming]

'Come back here!'

[ringing]

[ringing]

[gun clicks]

Lois Lane,
intrepid reporter

'And another close friend
of Superman's.'

What do you know?

We have so much
leverage now

I just don't see how Superman
will be able to resist.

(Peters)
'Mr. Grady appreciates
your help, Penny.'

Your assistance
will be remembered

at, uh,
holiday bonus time.

He made me do it,
Miss Lane.

[humming]

Go ahead, Penny.

'Scream your guts out
for your boyfriend.'

No one'll hear you now.

[chuckling]

[sighs]

Penny, you said
he made you do it.

Do what?

- He made me call Superman.
- What?

- But I just got his machine.
- Pardon me.

Oh, nothing.
I'm sorry.

This is all
my fault. Oh, God.

Penny, it's not
the time to panic.

It'll be okay.

Now, what'd they want you
to tell Superman?

To meet Mr. Grady
on the roof

something about installing
a pulse converter.

Okay.

Now is the time
to panic.

(Penny on answering machine)
'Fly to the roof
of the Diticom towers'

'or you'll never see
Lois or me again.'

Superman!

Superman!

Help!

Jimmy, what is it?

Superman, I did
a terrible thing.

Well, I didn't actually do it,
but I didn't undo it.

I sort of let this girl
think that I was you.

- What?
- It all happened so fast.

I was a 97% match,
apparently. I just..

'This girl is so pretty.
I mean, she really likes me.'

Really, really likes me.

Well, actually,
I guess she likes you.

But she thought I was you.

So, in a way, she likes me.

Anyway, I was afraid
to tell her the truth.

I figured being
plain old Jimmy Olsen

wasn't good enough for her.

You were a 97% match?

- Yeah.
- Really?

Yeah.

Jimmy, listen.

Living someone else's life
can be fun for a while

but eventually you have to
live your own life.

Sure, Superman.
I know--

If you and this girl
are meant to be together

then that should
be enough.

Right. I understand.

You don't understand. Wait.

It's gotten
a little dicier.

I just checked
my messages

and Penny's being held captive
along with Lois.

What?

You're supposed to fly
to the roof of Diticom towers

and wait for further
instructions or else.

Superman, did you
hear what I said?

Shh. Quiet.

I'm trying to listen.

Nothing.

She's not
calling for me

or maybe she's
not able to.

[whoosh]

Or else maybe
she's being held

somewhere where you
couldn't hear her calling.

One, two, three.

- Good?
- Yeah.

- Are you good?
- Yeah.

Okay. Now, if we
could just get to that..

...soundproofing device

couple of healthy
"help, Supermans.."

...and we'll be home free.

Here's the rhythm.

♪ Da na
na na na na ♪

♪ Da na
na na na na ♪

Go.

♪ Da na
na na na na ♪

♪ Da nun dun duh ♪♪

- Good.
- Yeah.

- We're there.
- Alright.

- Here we go.
- Okay.

- Got it.
- Blue one.

- They changed it.
- Oh.

- Wrong thing.
- Yeah.

Alright, let me
get it with my hands.

Oh..

- I got it.
- Okay.

- I got it.
- Okay.

Okay.

- Oh, boy.
- Oh, that's not good.

- No, no.
- Okay.

(Lois)
'Alright, backing up.'

(Penny)
'Oh, God. Not too fast!'

(Lois)
'Oh, sorry.'

[indistinct robotic chatter]

- Oh, that's not good, either.
- No, no, no.

- Alright.
- Duck.

- I think duck.
- Yes, duck. Duck!

When you called Superman,
what number did you use?

(automated message)
'One...ignition.'

'Lift-off.'

'We have lift-off.'

(male #3)
'Quite an extraordinary sight.'

[whoosh]

There it goes,
my shuttle launch.

Where are they?

Evening, Superman.

I've been
waiting for you.

If you'll just install
my pulse converter

on its orbiting platform

'you can kick back,
take a little R and R'

fly off to Mazatlan
with your girlfriend

get a little sun and leave
running the planet to me

But once that shuttle
reaches the platform

all deals are off.

I've instructed
my man to do away

with Lois Lane
and that girl

if it gets there
before you do.

Even if the annihilator
becomes operational

once Lois and Penny
are safe

I'll just fly up there
and rip it apart.

Not unless you've been
outrunning

the speed
of light lately.

I'll be monitoring.

'If you even get near it'

pfft, vaporization of
North America on your shoulders.

[both grunting]

Locked.

I knew Superman
would find us.

He did?

Superman, hon,
over here!

Well, that's not..

You think Superman
is Jimmy Olsen?

I know it's shocking,
Miss Lane

seeing as you work
with him every day

but yes, Jimmy Olsen is really
the Man of Steel.

[chuckles]

Girlfriend, we're
not out of this yet.

Jimmy!

- Jimmy, help!
- Jimmy!

Soundproofed.

(Penny)
Alright, that's it, Jimmy.

Now get us out of here.

(Jimmy)
'The door's locked.
I can't open it.'

- Jimmy!
- There's..

Where's that remote?

I suggest you make
a decision, Superman.

I already have.

Oh, God. I hope Superman
doesn't hurt him too badly.

[groaning]

I can't watch.

Thank you, Superman.

We've just ushered in the future
for, well, almost everyone.

Maybe, next time, West Virginia
will take more time

coming up with
an original name.

[electric buzzing]

[explosion]

Hi.

Alright.
That's enough.

Bye-bye, kid.
It's been fun.

[blast]

[coughing]

Superman, honey,
I knew you'd come.

Wait a minute.

You aren't Superman?

I'm sorry, Penny.

I'm sorry I'm not what you
thought I was.

But you lied to me.

'What kind of
a person are you?'

The things I told you,
and, and you never..

You really are just
some normal guy, aren't you?

Yeah.

Wait a minute.

He had a gun.

You could've been killed.

Well, that was one of the more
interesting birthdays I've had.

I'm sorry, Clark.

I really tried to pull off
a party for you.

That's okay.
I like this better anyway.

- You sure?
- Yeah. Just you and me.

Ha. Alone at last.

[moaning]

(in unison)
'Surprise!'

[laughter]

I figured the only way to throw
a surprise party for you

was to surprise
both of you.

So, did it work?

Are you surprised?

Well...yeah. Yeah.

Stunned.

[theme music]