Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,672
It seems today
that all you see.
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:08,008
Is violence in movies
and sex on TV.
3
00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:11,545
But where are those
good old-fashioned values.
4
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,382
On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:18,319
Lucky there's a family guy.
6
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:21,389
Lucky there's a man
who positively can do.
7
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:23,057
All the things that make us.
8
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,725
Laugh and cry.
9
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:30,098
He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy!
10
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,906
We interrupt this
program because I have had
11
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,708
kind of a crap day,
12
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:42,876
and I know all the station
passwords to do it.
13
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,546
So, smell that finger, Quahog!
14
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,948
Ooh, a drunk news report
from Tom Tucker.
15
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:50,318
We haven't had one of those
since they canceled Passions.
16
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:51,852
This should be good.
17
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:55,523
Okay, our top story tonight: A
local car dealer has announced
18
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:58,859
a "Hands On A Hard Body"
promotion in which
19
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:02,263
a used dirt bike will be rewar-
awarded to the one customer
20
00:01:02,330 --> 00:01:05,566
who can successfully outlast
his competitors.
21
00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:09,803
And, and in other news,
they're bringing back Passions!
22
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:10,938
Yes, they are!
23
00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:12,606
Holy crap!
A dirt bike!
24
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:13,474
That's awesome!
25
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,443
Lois, I'm gonna win
that thing!
26
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,311
Peter, why would you want
a used dirt bike
27
00:01:17,378 --> 00:01:19,147
when you already
have a car?
28
00:01:19,213 --> 00:01:21,081
Because this is 1978, Lois,
29
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:22,492
and dirt bikes have
never been hotter.
30
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,218
Besides, I get one
of those things,
31
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:25,853
it's gonna be a buffet
of beave.
32
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,156
Mmm, I don't know.
Seems stupid to me.
33
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,361
Thanks to all of you for coming
out today.
34
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:34,662
In just a minute, we'll begin
35
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:36,964
our "Hands On A Hard Body"
contest.
36
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:40,301
And the lucky one of you who can
keep his or her hand on
37
00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:42,336
this dirt bike for the longest
amount of time
38
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,205
will get to take it home!
39
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:46,440
Yeah, all right! Yeah!
40
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,310
Okay, everyone who wants to win
this dirt bike,
41
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,979
come on up and put a hand on it!
42
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,182
All right!
43
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,318
Mr. Pewterschmidt?
What are you doin' here?
44
00:01:57,385 --> 00:01:58,919
You want
a used dirt bike?
45
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,755
Oh, not at all. But Lois told
me how much you wanted it.
46
00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:03,424
So I decided to win it
for myself
47
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,226
just so I could destroy
it in front of you.
48
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:07,127
And the clock starts...
49
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,396
now!
50
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,063
How are you gonna destroy
a dirt bike?
51
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,541
You can't even open
your own aspirin.
52
00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:12,565
With that.
53
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,769
Aw, damn it!
54
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:19,407
Ooh! Our first hand off
the dirt bike!
55
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,375
Huh. I guess you're out,
Mr. Pewterschmidt.
56
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:23,143
Well, I already paid
for that thing.
57
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:24,712
So I'm just
gonna stick around
58
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,380
and smash other
stuff you like.
59
00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:30,718
Hey, fat ass, you like, um...
60
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,019
you like, uh...
61
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,187
this-this bus bench?
62
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,155
Uh, I, it's okay.
63
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:37,791
All right, that's good enough
for me. I'm smashing it!
64
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,875
Ha-ha! You loved that thing.
65
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,129
Amazing!
66
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,597
Nine hours with no break!
67
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,699
Who's gonna win this thing?
68
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,868
You might as well give up now,
Mr. Mayor.
69
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,036
This dirt bike is mine.
70
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,404
Like heck, it is!
71
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:32,940
Hey, check your phone.
72
00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,207
Why?
73
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,910
I just sent you a picture
of a kitten in sunglasses.
74
00:04:36,977 --> 00:04:38,479
Well, this I gotta see!
75
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,714
Hello, cool kitty.
76
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,884
And we have a winner!
77
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:47,321
Aw, darn it.
78
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,289
Well, I guess
I'll just disappear
79
00:04:49,357 --> 00:04:51,825
into that field of corn.
80
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:58,632
Help! I'm lost in corn!
81
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,404
Hey, where's Peter?
82
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,752
I don't know. I haven't heard
from him since he left work.
83
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:09,343
Hope you made extra.
I brought a guest.
84
00:05:09,410 --> 00:05:11,278
What the hell?! Who is this?!
85
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,013
This is my dirt bike girlfriend.
86
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,114
Amber.
87
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:15,449
I'm a dirt bike guy now,
88
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:16,760
so I need a dirt bike
girlfriend.
89
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:17,861
Yes, she has small breasts,
90
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,553
but she makes up
for it by smoking.
91
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,621
Peter, she has to leave.
92
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,022
We're havin' dinner.
93
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:24,558
No, Lois! I will not allow you
to look down on Amber
94
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,827
just 'cause she goes to an
alternative high school!
95
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,929
There's different ways
to measure intelligence
96
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,531
besides someone's
grade-point average!
97
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,633
Fact is, she rumpled up some
poetry she wrote
98
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,468
and threw it away in a fit,
99
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,770
but I un-rumpled it,
and it was really good!
100
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,106
Fine.
Amber, would you like to have
101
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,508
some dinner with our family?
102
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:41,709
Nah, I can't.
103
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,378
I got a wicked bruise on
the back of my throat.
104
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:47,881
Ladies and gentlemen, please
rise for our national anthem,
105
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:52,420
performed this afternoon by
Peter Griffin and his dirt bike.
106
00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:18,311
There it is, Meg.
107
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,380
What do you say
we take it for a spin?
108
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,449
Chris, get off there.
109
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,050
You shouldn't
be sitting on that.
110
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:24,116
Come on.
111
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,459
That's fake.
112
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,861
Come on, Meg, just get on!
113
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,807
Hey, Meg, check it out.
114
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,042
I'm gonna jump
that fire hydrant.
115
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:51,579
Chris, don't!
You're gonna wreck Dad's bike!
116
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,214
Too late, I already
narrowed my eyes.
117
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,792
Chris, you idiot!
Look at what you did!
118
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:07,360
You mean look what two black
teenagers did
119
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,162
when they stole Dad's bike.
120
00:07:12,399 --> 00:07:13,801
What were you
kids thinking?!
121
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,435
You could have
been killed!
122
00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:17,605
It was Chris' idea.
He talked me into it.
123
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:18,806
Is that right?
124
00:07:18,872 --> 00:07:20,407
So you like taking
dirt bikes
125
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,809
that don't belong
to you, huh?
126
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,977
Then here, have a
whole carton of cigarettes!
127
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:25,078
W-what?!
128
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,747
Peter, that's not what
this is about.
129
00:07:26,814 --> 00:07:27,981
See how you like 'em!
130
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:29,883
Here, I'll even
get you started.
131
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,586
Dad, I don't smoke.
132
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,387
Sure, you don't now.
But keep at it.
133
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,355
You'll get the hang of it.
134
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:36,890
By the end of that pack,
135
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,493
you'll be smoking like a
real pro. Like a cool kid.
136
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,594
There, that's it.
137
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:41,495
Gettin' smoother,
isn't it?
138
00:07:41,562 --> 00:07:42,763
Yeah.
Oh, yeah!
139
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,998
Wait till you try it
after a meal. Delicious!
140
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,900
And after sex?
Forget about it.
141
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,436
It's like puttin' your penis
to sleep in a feather bed.
142
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,038
I think I may want
more cigarettes.
143
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,315
Oh, I'll get you more
cigarettes.
144
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:53,974
But I'm pretty mad
about my dirt bike!
145
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,543
Kids, I'm sorry to say this,
146
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,845
but I think the two of you need
to be punished.
147
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,179
Look, it was
an accident, okay?
148
00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:01,582
I mean, you can always buy
another one, right?
149
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:02,916
Buy another one?!
150
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,663
You know, I don't think
you kids appreciate
151
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,053
how hard your father
and I work
152
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,721
to provide you with
everything we do.
153
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:10,490
Sometimes you just seem
to take us for granted.
154
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:12,693
You know, it's very
difficult bein' a parent.
155
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:13,961
No, it's not.
156
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,696
You get to do
anything you want.
157
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,531
And you get to make
all the rules.
158
00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,867
Damn right I do,
'cause I make the money!
159
00:08:19,933 --> 00:08:22,235
I'm the big...
Mamou around here!
160
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,237
Now, w-w-when you start bringin'
in a paycheck
161
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,740
and providin' for this family,
then you can make the rules!
162
00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,809
Well, I'd do a better
job of it than you!
163
00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,310
Oh, you think so, huh?
164
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:33,046
Well, maybe you'd like
to try it for a little while.
165
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:34,181
You be the adults!
166
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:35,247
What do you mean?
167
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,751
I mean, maybe we try
a little experiment.
168
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:40,253
You kids switch places
with your dad and me.
169
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,991
For the next week, you'll be the
parents and we'll be the kids.
170
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:45,559
Seriously?
Yeah, that'd be awesome!
171
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:46,794
That sounds great!
172
00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,862
That's a great idea, Lois.
Crisscross!
173
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,831
Yes, that is
a Crisscross.
174
00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:51,699
Yes!
175
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,100
So we got a deal?
176
00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:54,301
Yeah, we got a deal.
177
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,535
Face/Off!
178
00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:56,970
No, Peter.
179
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,305
Road House.
180
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,647
Here's your breakfast, Lois.
181
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,582
Thank you, Mom.
182
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,751
Wh-wh-what is,
what is this?
183
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,185
What's goin' on?
184
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,063
Oh, apparently, Chris and
Meg are switching places
185
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:16,256
with Peter and Lois
for the week.
186
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,457
Myah!
187
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,593
Hey, Mom, do you mind
if I go shoppin'
188
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,828
with Jennifer
after school?
189
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,696
No, Peter, no, no,
you're still you.
190
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,464
Y-you're just a teenager.
191
00:09:24,531 --> 00:09:25,642
You're not
switching genders.
192
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,001
Ah. I shall return.
193
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,405
Well, I'm off to work
at the brewery.
194
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,174
Okay, have
a good day, honey.
195
00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,543
You know, Brian, you
and I should do... No.
196
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,212
Okay, it just,
it-it-it... it looked fun.
197
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:42,683
All right, time to make
all those popular kids pay
198
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,184
for ignoring me!
199
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:47,254
Peter, no, y-you're just
a normal high school kid.
200
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:51,458
Hey, Lance,
it's off, it's off.
201
00:09:51,524 --> 00:09:53,293
It's off, it's off.
202
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,196
Throw this phone
away, Lois!
203
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:02,169
Griffin, did you finish
those reports I gave you?
204
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:03,536
Right here, Angela.
205
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,974
Wow. You know, I gotta say,
when your dad told me
206
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,742
about this whole
"switching places" thing,
207
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,243
I was kinda skeptical,
208
00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:12,646
but you're actually
doing good work.
209
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,682
Well, it's a lot easier
than high school,
210
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:15,783
I'll tell you that.
211
00:10:15,849 --> 00:10:17,084
Well, how do you mean?
212
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:18,752
High school's like
Lord of the Flies.
213
00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,220
It's a social nightmare.
214
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:23,090
And I-I hear Canadian high
schools are even worse.
215
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:26,994
Well, well, look who
matriculated to grade nine.
216
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:29,462
Someone wants
to get into university.
217
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,531
Hey, guys, I'm sorry.
218
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:32,798
Well, you're gonna be "sore-y"
219
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:35,068
when we put you in
the hospital for free, eh?
220
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,018
I don't know what the kids
are complainin' about.
221
00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,176
This ain't so bad.
222
00:10:43,243 --> 00:10:44,577
I know, this is fun.
223
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,613
I haven't been
to a pep rally in years.
224
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:48,181
Do you have school spirit?!
225
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:49,482
Yeah!
226
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,418
Do you have school spirit?!
227
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,585
Yeah!
228
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,554
Who's got
the most school spirit?!
229
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:55,622
I do!
230
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:58,558
Show me
your school spirit!
231
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,133
The players will remember
this while they're playing.
232
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,337
Hey, Mom, where
the hell's dinner?
233
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:11,204
I'm starving.
234
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,573
Oh man, can you
imagine the disaster
235
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:14,942
she's gonna
walk out here with?
236
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,410
She has no idea how
hard it is to cook.
237
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:20,047
Yeah, yeah, I bet... I bet
she comes out with just like...
238
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:21,849
Just like a poop
on a plate, right?
239
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:23,884
Poop on a plate would be
good, because at least
240
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,953
there'd be traces
of my food still in there.
241
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:28,388
Oh ho ho, snap! Snap! Snap!
242
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:29,356
Hey, guys?
243
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,258
Give her a
chance, all right?
244
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:32,893
Here it is, gang.
245
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,730
Seared ahi tostadas,
grilled asparagus, couscous,
246
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:39,900
and for dessert, molten
chocolate lava cake.
247
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,904
Wait a minute.
248
00:11:43,971 --> 00:11:46,539
Meg, when did you find
the time to do all this?
249
00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,308
Oh, I had all day to do this.
250
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,611
Oh my God, this is delicious.
251
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,513
Wh... what do you
mean "all day"?
252
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,115
W-What about all
the housework?
253
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:57,484
I did it in like an hour.
I don't understand why
254
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,452
you're such a freakin'
martyr all the time.
255
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,519
It's a house.
256
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:01,922
It's a finite area.
257
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,590
I'm not cleaning a town.
258
00:12:03,656 --> 00:12:05,759
Hey, family, I'm home.
259
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,028
Ooh, that smells fantastic.
260
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:10,730
Hey, buddy, how was your first
day in the real world?
261
00:12:10,798 --> 00:12:12,199
It was actually really great.
262
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,768
And Angela even told me
I might get a raise
263
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,403
for doing such a good job.
264
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,271
Wow, guys, you hear that?
265
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,372
A raise.
266
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,439
Hmm, interesting.
267
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:22,542
Seems like the kids
are doing pretty well
268
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:23,811
at this grown-up thing, huh?
269
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,913
I would suggest
that you suck that.
270
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:28,515
Wow, I am already
so stuffed.
271
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,917
Guess I shouldn't have had
272
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,819
so many action figure
guns for lunch.
273
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:40,060
Well, hello, you two.
274
00:12:40,127 --> 00:12:41,694
How's your little
experiment going?
275
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,463
Horrible.
276
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,967
Three girls I don't care about
made me cry in the bathroom.
277
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,703
Um, hey, you guys.
278
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:54,107
I bet you Lois Griffin
doesn't make the track team,
279
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:56,343
which is an important thing
in high school right now.
280
00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,054
Yeah, everyone who's
anyone is running track
281
00:12:58,078 --> 00:12:59,612
at our high school right now.
282
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:02,549
Yeah, and I bet she also doesn't
live on the south side of town,
283
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,884
which is suddenly important.
284
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,059
I hate your north side face.
285
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,027
Lois, that's terrible.
286
00:13:14,094 --> 00:13:15,695
Yeah, my day was even worse.
287
00:13:15,762 --> 00:13:17,797
I got pegged by a
new form of spitball.
288
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,242
Hey, get up,
you faker.
289
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,044
It's just
a spitball.
290
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,548
Hi, family, I'm home.
291
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,217
Oh, Chris,
there you are.
292
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,952
Good, now that
you're both here,
293
00:13:39,019 --> 00:13:40,687
your father and I have
something to say.
294
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,956
Kids, we're callin' off
the experiment early.
295
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,624
What? Why?
296
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,059
Because you were right.
297
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,361
Being a kid is a lot harder
than bein' an adult.
298
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,630
High school sucks.
Everything sucks.
299
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,933
So let's just put things
back the way they were
300
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,543
and just forget all
about this, all right?
301
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:57,370
You kids go back to school,
Lois goes back to groceries,
302
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:58,638
I go back to my job.
303
00:13:58,705 --> 00:13:59,883
That's not gonna
work out, Dad.
304
00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,108
Why not?
305
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,943
'Cause you don't have
a job anymore.
306
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:04,744
What? Chris, what do you mean?
307
00:14:04,811 --> 00:14:07,214
Angela fired you
and hired me.
308
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,716
She said I've been doing twice
as good a job as you did.
309
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:12,986
So from now on, I'm the
breadwinner in this house.
310
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:15,288
Hey, I forget. Were you
in for this or not?
311
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:24,331
Chris, you are not
taking Peter's job.
312
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,833
You're a 14-year-old boy,
and you belong in school.
313
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:29,069
Why, so I can get
a job someday?
314
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,470
I already have a job.
315
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,940
Chris, we're not gonna
allow you to do this.
316
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:34,707
I seem to remember
somebody saying
317
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,977
the breadwinner
makes the rules.
318
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:39,612
Well, I'm the breadwinner.
And you know what?
319
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:42,282
I like being a grown-up,
and I wanna stay this way.
320
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,017
Well, Lois, practically
speaking,
321
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,953
somebody's gotta pay
the bills around here.
322
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,587
Seems like you don't
have a choice
323
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,289
but to let Chris work
at the brewery
324
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:50,857
until Peter finds a new job.
325
00:14:50,924 --> 00:14:52,459
Well, I suppose that
makes sense.
326
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:55,062
I guess it could take
Peter a long time
327
00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:56,729
to find a job
in this economy.
328
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,365
Well, it may not
be that bad, Lois.
329
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,233
I could see about
getting back my old job
330
00:15:00,300 --> 00:15:01,734
as a police sketch artist.
331
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,071
Now, did you get a look
at the man who assaulted you?
332
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:06,073
I did. Okay, can I
get a description?
333
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,341
Yeah, he was probably
around five-nine, five-ten?
334
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,842
Which is it, five-nine
or five-ten?
335
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,244
I'd say five-ten.
336
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,745
Okay, we'll go
five-nine and a half.
337
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:13,913
And now, how old was he?
338
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,915
Late 30's, maybe 37.
339
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,684
I-I don't know, anywhere
between 35 and 40.
340
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,019
Okay, well, let's say 37.
341
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,120
How about ethnicity?
342
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:21,554
Yeah, he was Asian-American.
343
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,621
Asian-American.
344
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,333
Are we talking Korean?
Are we talking Thai?
345
00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:25,458
Are we talking Vietnamese?
346
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:26,526
Maybe Korean.
347
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:29,096
Could have been Japanese,
but I-I think Korean.
348
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:30,463
Okay, Korean.
349
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,008
Now how about identifying
characteristics?
350
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,400
Any-any marks, piercings?
351
00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,069
He may have had a tattoo.
He may have had a tattoo?
352
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:37,413
Did have a tattoo?
Which one was it?
353
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,339
I-I don't know, it...
It all happened so fast.
354
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:40,740
You know what?
It's fine.
355
00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:41,951
I have a preliminary
sketch here.
356
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,376
Is this the man
who assaulted you?
357
00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,545
Peter, they're never
gonna take you back.
358
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,747
You got fired for
racist drawings.
359
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,182
I guess.
360
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:51,294
Hey, you know what else
I draw really well? Bullwinkle.
361
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,485
I'd probably still be working
362
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,154
if more crooks
looked like Bullwinkle.
363
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,660
Early night, Griffin?
364
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,495
Well, actually, it's 8:00.
365
00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:04,998
Well, did you finish
all the accounts payable
366
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,233
and the accounts receivable?
367
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,800
But that's not my department.
368
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,369
It is now.
369
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:10,803
The company's making
cutbacks.
370
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:14,207
You can handle it, it's just
a little extra paperwork.
371
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,731
Ugh. I am exhausted.
372
00:16:50,810 --> 00:16:54,081
Can this day get
any more stressful?
373
00:16:59,952 --> 00:17:04,023
"Wanted: Muscular man for
discreet pushing and pulling."
374
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,825
Well, I'm not above
manual labor.
375
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:08,395
Oh, hi, Chris.
How was your day?
376
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,397
You know what
would be great?
377
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,932
If I could come home
and have five minutes
378
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,967
before you jump
all over my back.
379
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,669
Also, she broke a plate.
380
00:17:16,736 --> 00:17:19,172
And what about you?
Did you get a job today?
381
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,841
I kind of got one.
382
00:17:21,908 --> 00:17:23,610
Right, Lois? Right?
383
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,378
So, Chris, good day
at the office?
384
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,714
You know, actually, Angela
said that the spreadsheets
385
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,117
I presented were beyond the
projections for last quarter.
386
00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:31,651
Oh, is that good?
387
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,386
You know what?! Never mind!
388
00:17:35,088 --> 00:17:36,789
Now I'm mad at you!
389
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,895
Peter, I'm really
worried about Chris.
390
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,398
All this pressure seems
to be getting to him.
391
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,234
I know, he's turning
into a jerk.
392
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,069
Oh, hey, Chris.
393
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,538
You wanna keep it down in here?
394
00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,740
One of us has to work
in the morning.
395
00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,042
Chris, have you...
Have you been drinking?
396
00:17:56,109 --> 00:17:58,645
Yes. Have you been aging?
397
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:01,448
I want you two to do it
right in front of me.
398
00:18:01,514 --> 00:18:03,850
And I'm gonna throw 40 bucks
on your sweaty bodies
399
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,685
when you're done.
400
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,019
Let's see the money.
401
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:09,456
Why do you guys hate me?
402
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:13,059
Ugh, that pain in my
stomach is back.
403
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,169
What?! What?!
404
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:23,803
What are you looking at?!
405
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:25,505
I could fight you both.
406
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:28,541
You don't know what
I go through every day.
407
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:33,980
Now go to sleep,
the both of you.
408
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:36,749
I think we
should go live with Mom.
409
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,485
I just heard all of that,
410
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,388
and I just wanna say this family
is disintegrating.
411
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,395
Oh, hey, Chris, by the way,
412
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,872
the roofer came today
while you were at work.
413
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:50,763
And?
414
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,365
It's gonna be
five grand to fix it.
415
00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:54,467
Oh, that's just perfect.
416
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:57,504
I love spending $5,000 on
something nobody can see.
417
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,339
Anyone got more happy news?
418
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:01,274
I'm gonna need
a check for the dentist.
419
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,709
Peter has two cavities.
420
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,178
I'll bet if I go upstairs
to that bathroom
421
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:07,113
that toothbrush
is as dry as a bone.
422
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,781
Sometimes I forget.
423
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,150
Anything else I should
know about?!
424
00:19:11,218 --> 00:19:13,620
Well, my science class
is taking a field trip
425
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,322
to the water
purification center.
426
00:19:15,388 --> 00:19:18,825
And? And it costs ten
dollars for lunch and the bus.
427
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,393
Ten dollars?
428
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,362
What... What the hell is
it with that school
429
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:25,031
that every time you walk in there
somebody wants ten dollars?!
430
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,699
Look, I-I'm really sorry,
431
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,335
but if we're that
desperate for money,
432
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,836
isn't there something
we can do?
433
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,538
I mean, maybe we could ask
434
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:33,172
to borrow some
from Mr. Quagmire.
435
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,741
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
436
00:19:34,807 --> 00:19:36,576
Like to see me
walk next door,
437
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,478
hat in hand, and
ask him for money.
438
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:40,505
Bet you'd have your nose
pressed against the glass
439
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,249
to watch that conversation.
440
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,493
No, you know what? Instead,
let's just go knock on all the doors
441
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,195
of all our neighbors and
tell 'em I'm a failure!
442
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:49,088
No, that's not what I...
No, no, no, it's a good idea!
443
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,867
Let's just go right now and tell
everyone how much of a failure I am!
444
00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:52,891
But I...
445
00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:57,464
Oh, hey, Chris.
446
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,632
Meg has something
she wants to tell you.
447
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:02,168
- Chris, please, I'm sorry.
- Say it!
448
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:03,503
Chris is a failure.
449
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:04,937
Uh, okay.
450
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:07,039
Now we're going
to the Swansons!
451
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,681
Oh, my God!
452
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,649
I think Chris is
having a heart attack!
453
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:18,685
We're not aspose'ta
leave the table.
454
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,858
Be cool, be quiet, be quiet.
455
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:29,672
All right, well,
nothing to worry about.
456
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,331
Chris is going
to be just fine.
457
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,803
Oh, Chris, I'm so
glad you're okay.
458
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,204
What... what happened?
459
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:40,172
You had a
heart attack, sweetie.
460
00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,674
A heart attack?
461
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,952
Yeah, you almost worked yourself
right into the ground, buddy.
462
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:46,446
Oh, it's all our fault.
We never should have let you
463
00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:48,315
take on the pressure
of being an adult.
464
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,949
It's okay, Mom.
465
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,484
Boy, I thought being a grown-up
466
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:52,885
would be easier
than being a kid.
467
00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,987
But it turned out
it was just as hard.
468
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:57,824
I guess what we all learned
is that no matter who you are,
469
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,760
or where you come from,
life is a terrible thing.
470
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:03,630
Yeah, but if you got your family
to help you get through it,
471
00:21:03,696 --> 00:21:05,798
it's not quite as bad.
472
00:21:05,865 --> 00:21:07,734
And, hey, at least
I get my old job back.
473
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,703
You know, from now on,
let's not complain so much.
474
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:14,407
...That's the attitude.
475
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,743
Hey, what do you guys do
after the screen goes black?34638
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof