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1
00:00:05,381 --> 00:00:09,301
Ruffles straight from
the shirt,
the way nature intended.
2
00:00:11,095 --> 00:00:13,180
- Where's the onion dip?
- In the auxiliary
condiment shirt.
3
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,768
Rogu, cream boy.
4
00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,770
I want to be cream boy!
5
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,522
Then you should've shown up
for tryouts.
6
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,232
Now, hush, Greg's on.
7
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:26,026
Tonight,
we look at blue zones,
8
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,945
the areas where
people's healthy lifestyles
9
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,322
help them live longer
than anywhere else on Earth.
10
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,533
Look at these
gorgeous geezers.
11
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:35,494
I'm watching
the Jason Statham movie,
Crank, on my phone.
12
00:00:35,494 --> 00:00:36,996
What? Me, too!
13
00:00:36,996 --> 00:00:39,331
- Statham's character,
Chev Chelios...
- Chev Chelios.
14
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:40,624
...is getting road head
15
00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,127
to keep his adrenaline up,
so he doesn't die.
16
00:00:43,127 --> 00:00:46,213
I pretty much just
watch this one scene
over and over again.
17
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,799
I call it the "Erectus-cut."
18
00:00:48,799 --> 00:00:50,468
Quiet, fish!
19
00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:53,387
{\an8}Blue zones include Sardinia,
Italy, Ikaria, Greece
20
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,514
{\an8}and, of course,
Langley Falls, Virginia...
21
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,016
{\an8}Really?
22
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:58,976
{\an8}...is the complete opposite
of a blue zone.
23
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:02,396
{\an8}Ared zone, a place where
you'll likely die at
a young age.
24
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,649
My Crank!
25
00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:09,361
We're all gonna die soon,
unless we live like in
one of these blue zones.
26
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:13,532
Francine,
blue zones are for two things.
The Blue Man and his group.
27
00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:15,910
Plus, I'm healthy as
Babe the Blue Ox.
28
00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,999
Now let's race upstairs
for a very healthy
roll in the hay.
29
00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:23,501
Last one there is a rotten...
30
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:29,465
Put the Bose headphones on,
kids. Francine,
we'll have to do it here.
31
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,846
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
32
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:39,266
♪ I got a feeling
That it's gonna be
A wonderful day ♪
33
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,353
♪ The sun in the sky
Has a smile on his face ♪
34
00:01:42,353 --> 00:01:46,106
♪ And he's shining a salute
To the American race ♪
35
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:52,029
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
36
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,281
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
37
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,953
{\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪
38
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:06,043
{\an8}Please just try
some Mediterranean food, Stan.
39
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,128
{\an8}This is how they eat in blue
zones.
40
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,131
{\an8}There are too many colors
on my plate. Francine!
It's blinding!
41
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,258
{\an8}Those are vegetables.
42
00:02:12,258 --> 00:02:14,718
{\an8}I knew it! Health food!
43
00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:18,222
{\an8}It's delicious,
and it'll help us live longer.
44
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:22,059
{\an8}Don't you wanna be around
to do all that stuff
on your bucket list?
45
00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,769
{\an8}Go on safari,
46
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:27,982
{\an8}see Ringo Starr &
His All-Starr Band,
learn to play the bass?
47
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,608
{\an8}I gave up on that years ago.
48
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,986
{\an8}Remember when
I spent the whole
weekend learning the bass,
49
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:35,489
{\an8}no matter how much
I practiced, I still couldn't
play like Flea by Monday.
50
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,491
{\an8}So no more wasting time,
Francine.
51
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:40,452
{\an8}Now I spend every day
living life to the fullest.
52
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,955
{\an8}Yeah, you do!
Let's watch Crank!
53
00:02:42,955 --> 00:02:44,665
{\an8}Start it up, my friend.
54
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,668
{\an8}Sorry, but life's too short
to spend it trying
to live longer.
55
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,171
{\an8}These taste incredible today!
56
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,425
{\an8}Because I replaced them with
pita chips and baba ghanoush.
57
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,094
{\an8}You tricked me!
58
00:02:57,094 --> 00:03:00,431
{\an8}But baba ghanoush is
a hilarious name, and the
taste doesn't lag far behind.
59
00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:01,515
{\an8}Now, what's this?
60
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:06,687
{\an8}A falafel.
61
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:11,525
{\an8}I guess maybe I could give
the Mediterranean diet a try.
62
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:19,783
{\an8}You did a real 180 on this
Mediterranean stuff, Dad.
63
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:22,202
That falafel really
changed my life.
64
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:28,292
{\an8}I can't believe
you're allowed to just walk
to the grocery store!
65
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,210
{\an8}I didn't even realize we were
exercising.
66
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:35,132
{\an8}Not only was the fishmonger
a type of man and not
a type of monster,
67
00:03:35,132 --> 00:03:37,301
{\an8}he had whatever this thing is.
68
00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:39,386
{\an8}This lifestyle
makes us social.
69
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:42,556
{\an8}Which is why tonight
we dine alfresco!
70
00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:48,979
{\an8}This is living.
And this is saganaki.
Flaming Greek cheese!
71
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,230
{\an8}Opa!
72
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,153
Stan. Who are those guys
over there?
73
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,030
Along with tons of olive oil,
74
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:01,742
I imported these
Mediterranean men to make our
social bonds authentic.
75
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,290
This one is my favorite.
Meet my best friend
and mentor, Petros.
76
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:15,339
Oh, Petros,
your babbling is filled
with such Greek wisdom.
77
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:16,340
Opa!
78
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,679
What's this bullshit?
79
00:04:21,679 --> 00:04:25,432
It's called "bocce."
It takes an entire lifetime
to master.
80
00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:33,691
We have wasted our lives.
81
00:04:33,691 --> 00:04:37,653
Let's go have a warm beer
in a tiny little glass.
82
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,203
I love you.
83
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:50,457
I wonder if I need to buy
Petros a new little
Greek vest?
84
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:55,212
Later, Stan, now let's go do
what married couples do best.
85
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:58,132
Oh, Stan!
86
00:04:58,132 --> 00:05:00,175
O-pa!
87
00:05:06,682 --> 00:05:09,560
Wow, if we keep
this lifestyle going,
88
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,105
I really think we could be
adding years to our lives.
89
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,233
It feels like we've been given
all this extra time to do...
90
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:17,901
My bucket list.
91
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:22,239
Excuse the post coitus
interruptus.
I have to call our lawyer.
92
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,908
{\an8}Rudy, I need to update
and expand my bucket list.
93
00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:26,326
{\an8}How many witnesses do I need?
94
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,413
{\an8}None. It's not
a legal document.
95
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,582
{\an8}Whatever you say, Rudy.
You're the family lawyer.
96
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:34,251
{\an8}Just write this down.
Meet Jason Statham.
97
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:38,756
{\an8}See Ringo Starr's All-Starr
Band. Join Ringo Starr's
All-Starr Band.
98
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:42,676
{\an8}Replace Ringo in
Ringo Stan's All-Stan Band.
99
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,265
Breakfast saganaki?
100
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,017
Opa it for me, would you?
101
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,437
I have to find Petros,
tell him about my new
bucket list. Petros!
102
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:55,689
Petros, my soul mate!
103
00:05:55,689 --> 00:06:00,277
There he is,
looks like someone
partied too hard.
104
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,695
You know what that means?
105
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,697
This is gonna be good.
106
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,784
Time to wake up, Petros.
107
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,463
Oh, my God, Petros is dead.
108
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:22,633
No-pa!
109
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,680
How could someone this young
die of natural causes?
110
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:30,140
He was 96!
111
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,851
But he lived the most
Mediterranean lifestyle ever.
112
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:36,897
My bucket list is huge.
96 years will barely
scratch the surface.
113
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,483
We're doing what we can
to live longer, Stan,
114
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,318
but no one lives forever.
115
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,569
♪ Wrong!♪
116
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,489
I will go beyond
the Mediterranean lifestyle.
117
00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:47,741
I will find a way
to live forever.
118
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:49,660
I will defy death!
119
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,914
Oh, Petros, will your death
ever stop hurting?
120
00:06:57,292 --> 00:07:01,004
"Run a marathon, try anal,
open a failing gastropub,
121
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,882
get Gordon Ramsay to visit,
then trap him in the freezer."
122
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:06,718
Truly, a bucket list
to not die for.
123
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:08,679
Kalamata olive, Stan?
124
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:10,556
You know I'm trying
to live forever
125
00:07:10,556 --> 00:07:13,016
and you offer me
the very things
that killed Petros?
126
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:16,019
Now be gone,
ye harbinger of death.
127
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:19,356
Oh, I guess now we aren't
saying goodbye. Real nice.
128
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:24,444
Okay. Like a modern day
wizard, I delve into strange
and arcane alchemies,
129
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,613
in search of eternal life.
130
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:35,914
Bullseye! Targeted ad.
This is why
I always share my data.
131
00:07:35,914 --> 00:07:37,708
Ow! Roger, what was that?
132
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,877
Your free injection
of peptides.
133
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:43,380
I'm told there are articles
about studies that claim it
de-ages you.
134
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,883
Dr. Lee Vorever, bio hacker.
135
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:51,054
Bio hacking is using high tech
science on your body to stop
aging in it's tracks.
136
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:53,432
Just another injection,
not free.
137
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:55,100
And this stuff is legit?
138
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:57,936
Of course.
Why else would insane
Silicon Valley people do it?
139
00:07:57,936 --> 00:08:00,272
Stan, may I show you a picture
of a shark?
140
00:08:00,272 --> 00:08:02,274
All right. Just this once.
141
00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:05,277
The Greenland shark,
the longest living vertebrate
on Earth,
142
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:07,404
five hundo years old.
143
00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:08,572
Five hundo?
144
00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:11,325
But that's 500!
145
00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:14,786
Scientists are researching
their secrets to find a way
to live forever.
146
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,414
We need to keep you
from aging, so you're alive
147
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,333
when the live forever tech
is invented.
148
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:21,001
Then I can do
my whole bucket list.
149
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,587
You can do it twice.
You'll be alive forever.
150
00:08:23,587 --> 00:08:26,340
You'll see the continents
form back into Pangea.
151
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,467
The rise of
the mutant roach men.
152
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:31,428
Sounds great! But will it turn
my life upside down?
153
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:34,598
No way.
It works best if you go
about your normal life.
154
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,308
You'll notice me
as much as you notice
155
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:39,686
the massive anal vitamin blast
I gave you mere moments ago.
156
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,521
Why I didn't notice that
at all.
157
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,815
Wait. Sorry. I'm all mixed up.
Didn't do this one yet.
158
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,025
Drop trou, bud.
159
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,110
Umby G!
160
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:51,114
Umby G is short for Umberto
Granaglia, the greatest bocce
player of all time.
161
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,784
Don't need this
in a longevity lab.
162
00:08:53,784 --> 00:08:57,371
Longevity lab?
That's my room, my clothes!
163
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:59,539
My bed!
164
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:03,627
My Jeff! What the hell?
165
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,880
What have you done
to my bedroom?
166
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,841
I need somewhere to put
my high tech longevity lab.
167
00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,218
What about your attic?
168
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,637
Be serious. Where would I put
all of Rogu's toys?
169
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:16,890
We're all making sacrifices,
Hayley. You don't hear Steve
complaining.
170
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:18,976
Daddy needs my young blood.
171
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,689
Send that sweet blood
to my fingies, Steve.
172
00:09:23,689 --> 00:09:24,898
It's bass time.
173
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:27,818
Ow!
174
00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:29,653
Hey, that's on my bucket list.
175
00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:32,531
No multitasking. It ages you
like nobody's business.
176
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:34,992
- We need single-minded focus.
177
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:37,828
Dr. Weitzman, any results for
Stan's aging tests?
178
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:40,163
Stan's aging 30% slower!
179
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:44,001
It's working!
Let's effing slow!
180
00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:59,766
From now on,
you only eat highly
nutritious sludge. Tube him.
181
00:10:16,199 --> 00:10:18,535
Oh, 1:00 p.m. You know
what that means.
182
00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,703
- Lunch?
- Bedtime.
183
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,538
You need your
14 hours of sleep.
184
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,540
- Dog style.
- Doggy style?
185
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,624
Weitzman!
186
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,088
At least he sleeps normally.
187
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:31,673
Sorry, Franny.
Forgot something.
188
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,552
- Ah!
- It's good for his REM cycle.
189
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:38,972
- What about my REM cycle?
- Oh, no,
it's real bad for that.
190
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,062
I haven't slept in weeks.
191
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:49,775
We all want your dad
to live longer, but this
bio hacking has got to stop.
192
00:10:49,775 --> 00:10:51,443
Yeah, he missed me
193
00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,279
winning the famous
Roberto Benigni Invitational
Tournamentini.
194
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:58,200
You're all jealous you're not
his special blood bo...
195
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:01,286
Our life was so amazing.
196
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:04,247
The string lights,
the falafel, the saganaki.
197
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:08,335
The opas!
That'll snap him out of it.
198
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,589
Sorry, Francine.
You can't come in the bubble.
199
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:15,759
The air in here is filtered
to Dr. Vorever's
specifications.
200
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:19,805
But, Stan,
don't you remember
the saganaki?
201
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,723
The o-pa?
202
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:23,266
The, opa?
203
00:11:23,266 --> 00:11:26,978
The, o-pa.
204
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:30,607
A lot of Steve's blood is
rushing to my penis right now.
205
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:32,943
But no, I can't.
It could age me.
206
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:35,529
Don't be silly, Stan.
Sex keeps you young.
207
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,863
It's totally natural.
208
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,452
Looking sexy, Stan.
209
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:45,664
Blood oxygen, optimal.
Sperm motility, on target.
210
00:11:45,664 --> 00:11:47,999
Roger, are you watching us?
211
00:11:47,999 --> 00:11:51,294
Not watching. Monitoring.
Right, just like that, Stan.
212
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:53,130
Heart rate a little high.
213
00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:56,007
Easy. Faster. No, slower.
214
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:59,845
I forgot to tell you. Under no
circumstance, can you climax.
215
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,972
Slow down,
you're getting too close.
216
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,557
Stan, stop! Abort!
217
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:05,892
What is he doing?
Weitzman! Pull him out!
218
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,855
Get out of here, Weitzman!
219
00:12:12,149 --> 00:12:14,025
Dammit, Weitzman,
stop touching your face!
220
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:15,318
You're getting it
in your eyes.
221
00:12:15,318 --> 00:12:18,029
I thought I could
pull you back to reality,
222
00:12:18,029 --> 00:12:20,657
but now, I just feel stupid!
223
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:24,202
I know it's been tough,
but for me to have a real
chance to live forever...
224
00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:27,038
Enough with this
living forever nonsense.
225
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:30,041
- You're acting like a lunatic!
- Says the harbinger of death.
226
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:32,669
Stop calling me
the harbinger of death!
227
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,379
Harbinger of death says what?
228
00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:37,924
Stop, all this fighting
is aging you faster than
a wartime president.
229
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:40,343
It's critical we get you away
from all these stressors
230
00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:41,887
and into an isolation tent.
231
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:43,263
We're almost at
the finish line.
232
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,349
- The finish line, Francine.
- What finish line?
233
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:48,727
- What finish line?
- I've finally been invited
234
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:51,771
to hunt Greenland sharks in a
submersible off the coast of,
235
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,607
and this is weird, Texas.
236
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:56,359
We are this close
to unlocking eternal life.
237
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,987
Francine, look how close
together his fingers are.
238
00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:13,376
I'm betting that if
primo wife sex
239
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,795
couldn't bring Stan back to
his senses,
240
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:20,759
the only thing that can is the
taste of his other true love.
241
00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:21,885
Falafel.
242
00:13:21,885 --> 00:13:23,261
But how do we get it
in his mouth?
243
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:24,930
Glory hole.
244
00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:29,434
Roger always hides a secret
glory hole in anything
he builds.
245
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,728
But it won't be easy to find.
246
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:33,355
There it is!
247
00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:36,483
Sweet souvlaki!
I could bocce it through
the hole into his mouth.
248
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,696
Umberto Granaglia,
guide my hand!
249
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,668
- Right in the kisser.
250
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:56,753
What was that?
251
00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:01,091
Oh, no!
It shot down his throat!
He didn't even taste it.
252
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:04,886
Weird. An insulin spike
for some reason.
I can fix that.
253
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,350
Now blood oxygen is dropping.
254
00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:16,856
Now I've got low T? Enough
pussyfooting. Let's do this.
255
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,113
I'm gonna live forever!
256
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:29,035
I was never here!
257
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:35,458
Stan, you pumped a lot of
horrible stuff into your body.
258
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,212
Good news,
there's more health data
on you than any patient ever.
259
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,797
Bad news,
260
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:44,301
all that data shows
you'll only live for
three more days.
261
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,554
Three day weekend, baby!
262
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:53,059
I only have
three days left to live?
263
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:54,853
You can do it, Mr. S!
264
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,980
There must be some way
to save him.
265
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,482
The only thing that could help
is a transfusion
with your son,
266
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:01,484
but somehow he has
almost no blood.
267
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:03,903
Uh, A medical mystery.
268
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,238
Where's Roger?
269
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,074
- Could he help?
- I don't think so. Look!
270
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:11,995
Dr. Vorever's submersible
has likely imploded in
the ocean depths.
271
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,331
Experts say the accident
was probably caused
272
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:16,583
by a small circular
perforation in the hull.
273
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,917
Glory hole.
274
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,086
I'll see you soon, Petros.
275
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:23,006
Wait, what if this is a
Crank situation?
276
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:24,257
What?
277
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,176
Raising my adrenaline
could let me live longer.
278
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:27,719
It's worth a shot.
279
00:15:27,719 --> 00:15:30,180
Quick, Stan, parkour out the
window and steal a motorcycle!
280
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:34,601
I think it's working!
281
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:44,027
That fall had you unconscious
for 48 hours.
282
00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:45,904
You have one more day to live.
283
00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,947
The Crank didn't work?
284
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,451
I tried and tried to get
someone to give you road head,
but no one would do it.
285
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,209
How about we find some easy
things on your bucket list
286
00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:01,378
we can do on your last day,
Stan?
287
00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:05,715
"Here's one,
buy Wendy's spicy nuggets,
eat them in a McDonald's."
288
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:08,927
If there's no time to do
all of it, I don't want to do
any of it.
289
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:11,971
I'll spend my last day
experimenting with
different ways
290
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,807
to say, "Why me?"
291
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:19,312
I just want him to at least to
die happy.
292
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,605
Wait.
293
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,857
What if there was a way
he could do all of it?
294
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:25,568
Why me?
295
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,947
Why me?
296
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,493
Jason Statham?
297
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,745
Hi, Stan,
I heard you're dying.
298
00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,664
Oh, my God, he knows who I am.
299
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,874
Not really, mate. Follow me.
300
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:47,465
Wha... What is this?
301
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,968
We're going to your
bucketpalooza.
302
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:51,803
Bucketpalooza?
303
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,431
As in, an event where I get to
do everything on
my bucket list today,
304
00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:56,141
before I die?
305
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:59,269
Yes, Klaus is finishing
setting it all up at
the Shark's Nest.
306
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,357
Here's your bucketpalooza map,
Dad.
307
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,777
A safari, a bass master class.
308
00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:09,529
- Oi!
309
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,702
Traffic jam, like
a bleeding car park it is.
310
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:19,539
Lorries, bonnets and boot,
as far as the eye can see.
311
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,708
Remind me again
when you're dying.
312
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:25,712
According to the data,
I pass away at 8:00 tonight.
313
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,381
Ah, no rush then, it'll move.
314
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,848
What if we do some things
on your bucket list,
right here in the car?
315
00:17:36,848 --> 00:17:39,642
Are we on safari right now?
316
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,901
Ooh!
The Bellagio fountain show.
317
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,320
Should I give Statham
road head?
318
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,571
That's not on my bucket list!
319
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:55,033
Maybe Klaus can put Ringo on
FaceTime!
320
00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:59,329
Stan, Ringo's here!
Giving Ringo the phone now.
321
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,331
Here comes Ringo.
322
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:02,499
It hung up?
323
00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,000
No!
324
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,752
Ringo, my phone died!
325
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:08,421
We wasted my battery watching
Crank.
326
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:13,510
I wouldn't call it a waste,
love. I'd never seen the
Erector's Cut.
327
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:16,596
Well, at least you got to see
Klaus one last time.
328
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:26,064
Chin up, mate.
At least you met
me before you died.
329
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,941
Oh, Mr. Statham!
330
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:30,735
Please, call me, Chev Chelios.
331
00:18:30,735 --> 00:18:34,030
I'm not crying
because I didn't
get to do my bucket list.
332
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:39,786
It's because my family did so
much for me and I treated them
so badly.
333
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:43,957
Look, I never wrote
one thing on this stupid list
about my family.
334
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,542
Why don't we change that,
335
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:49,003
using this "Chaos Pen"
Sly Stallone gave me?
336
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:51,631
Worth 60K.
337
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,509
In fact, you can keep it,
I'll get it back when you die.
338
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,470
Cancel the bucketpalooza.
339
00:18:57,470 --> 00:19:00,640
I can finish my new
bucket list right here.
340
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:04,477
Aw!
Oi.
341
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:06,646
Look, we're moving again.
342
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,984
I wonder what caused
all that traffic.
343
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:15,822
Roger? Chev Chelios,
pull over!
344
00:19:15,822 --> 00:19:17,949
Stan,
it's the most amazing story.
345
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:21,494
After the sub imploded, I was
saved by a Greenland shark.
346
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,622
It almost felt bad to turn
around and imprison him
immediately,
347
00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,082
but it was for money.
348
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:29,085
I'm sorry I can't muster
more excitement
for your story.
349
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,921
It's just that
I'm dying in two hours.
350
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:36,092
You ain't dying, Stan.
That's Greenland shark juice.
351
00:19:36,092 --> 00:19:38,636
I distilled
its life extending power.
352
00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:40,096
Who wants to live forever?
353
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,598
- Me!
- Me too!
354
00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:42,932
Me!
355
00:19:42,932 --> 00:19:45,101
- Hang on. I wanna watch!
- Me too!
356
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,190
Greenland shark?
357
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:56,487
I don't know what to tell you,
Stan.
358
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:58,948
Somehow, you're suddenly
as healthy as a...
359
00:19:58,948 --> 00:20:00,575
Greenland shark?
360
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:05,121
What? No, as healthy as
someone who just met
Jason Statham.
361
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:09,918
I'm confident you're going to
live a long, long, long...
362
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,133
Stan?
363
00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:21,721
Stan, is that you? Wow,
you're still alive!
That's shark juice for ya!
364
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,806
New Pangea.
365
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,476
How you liking it?
Mutant roach men are kind of
a bitch, huh?
366
00:20:26,476 --> 00:20:28,144
I miss my family.
367
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:31,606
Yeah. On the bright side,
that roach man kind of
looks like Steve.
368
00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,531
{\an8}Huh. Yeah, a little bit.
369
00:20:40,531 --> 00:20:42,033
{\an8}You ever get around to
learning bass?
370
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:44,577
{\an8}Uh, does this answer
your question?
29520
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