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1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,006
Are you cheating? 'Cause
I think you're cheating.
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,424
I'm not cheating.
You're cheating.
3
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:09,343
Pfft. Not even close.
My conscience is clear.
4
00:00:09,344 --> 00:00:10,593
Mine is clearer.
5
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,011
I didn't bring my
phone to school.
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,596
I threw my phone away. Hm.
7
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,389
Gregory and I have a bet
on who can go the longest
8
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,766
without looking at our phone.
9
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,142
We're trying to be a
little bit more present
10
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,894
with each other as
a couple. Mm-hmm.
11
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,604
I'm obviously going to win,
12
00:00:21,605 --> 00:00:23,857
and he will pay me in one kiss.
13
00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,324
Hmm. You'll never guess
who Kim K. is dating now.
14
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,826
How do you do that? What?
15
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:37,411
Just sit there with nothing.
16
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:40,164
My social media?
All up here. Okay.
17
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,457
They're making
another "Jumanji"?!
18
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:42,875
All right, that's it.
Give me your phone.
19
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,418
No. No, give me it.
20
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,212
No! Janine. Are you...
Give me your phone.
21
00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:48,756
No, if I can't have my phone,
I don't want to hear about it.
22
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:50,549
No. Which "Jumanji"
are they remaking?
23
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,926
Hey! Which one?
24
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,261
And who is she dating? No.
25
00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:54,470
Are they making the
one with The Rock?
26
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,097
Is she dating The Rock?!
27
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:57,390
I won.
28
00:00:57,391 --> 00:00:58,766
And I helped.
29
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,435
I have a broken phone screen.
30
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,771
But you know what has
never been broken?
31
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:04,856
This friendship.
32
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,831
Ah, spring is on its way.
33
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,541
Pop music is back.
34
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:25,376
Coffee's almost warm.
It's gonna be a good day.
35
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,919
Good morning, everyone.
36
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,005
Well, try again tomorrow.
37
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,007
Hey, Morton. Didn't
I see you roll up
38
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,883
to school today on a scooter?
39
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,469
My ex-wife got the car, as
well as half of everything
40
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,513
my other ex-wife
didn't get half of.
41
00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,265
Well, that's still twice
as much as you deserve.
42
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,517
Listen up. Next week
is the science fair.
43
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,269
It's gonna be our best ever.
44
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,478
I even got a trophy
for first place.
45
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,314
I'm calling it the Morty.
46
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:48,149
Isn't that just a
basketball trophy?
47
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:50,776
Okay, this is the sun, the
foundation of our solar system.
48
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,404
It is engraved, "Your
season was a swish."
49
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:54,697
Did you just steal that
from the trophy case
50
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:55,698
and spray-paint it?
51
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,199
Okay. Moving on.
52
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,951
I've already found sponsors
for the kids' supplies.
53
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,995
Now all I need
are two volunteers
54
00:02:00,996 --> 00:02:02,079
to be judges with me.
55
00:02:03,582 --> 00:02:04,999
And a couple of teachers
56
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:05,959
to help supervise the
kids in the science lab.
57
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,001
- I'll do it.
- Yeah. Me.
58
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,378
Okay. You two. Yes.
59
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,255
How about the judges?
60
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,673
All right. I thought
that might happen,
61
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,092
so I decided to draw
names from a hat.
62
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,385
It's better to
work with the kids
63
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,346
than risk judging with Morton
64
00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,348
'cause the power always
goes straight to his head.
65
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,475
It's like Mr. Johnson
whenever there's a spill.
66
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:25,394
Melissa's bringing my
name into something again?
67
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,522
The woman's obsessed
with what she can't have.
68
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,149
Okay.
69
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,235
And our first judge is... Jacob.
70
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,571
Wait, what? Wait. Jacob who?
71
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,115
And our second
judge is... Jacob.
72
00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,242
All right, let's try this again.
73
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,577
Jacob. Okay.
74
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,663
If you really wanted
to do this so bad,
75
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,331
you could have just volunteered
instead of cheating.
76
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,416
Oh. Here we go. Barbara.
77
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:48,834
Oh. Wait. What?
78
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,628
I wrote down "Jacob."
79
00:02:50,629 --> 00:02:52,672
Don't look at me. I
was one of the Jacobs.
80
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,509
I
wrote down "Barbara."
81
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,135
Thank you.
82
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,804
Hello. What's your experiment?
83
00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,389
I'm gonna make a volcano.
84
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,057
Oh, that sounds like a blast.
85
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,850
Okay.
86
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,727
So what are you gonna do, Eric?
87
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,020
I'm gonna see what
kind of potato
88
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:08,897
makes the brightest light.
89
00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:11,148
Oh. How about you, Courtney?
90
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,858
I'm conducting a
social experiment.
91
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,318
It would compromise my findings
92
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,362
if I told you any
more at this juncture.
93
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,615
As long as you don't
besmirch my name, go off.
94
00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,451
I want to do an experiment
on water filtration,
95
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,495
but I couldn't get my
permission slip signed.
96
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,913
Um, well, we're gonna be working
97
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,706
with some potentially
dangerous tools,
98
00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:29,792
so maybe you wanna go to
Principal Coleman's office
99
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:30,710
and see if there's
something she can do.
100
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,711
Okay.
101
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,671
Hello.
102
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,506
I want to burn things
on the Bunsen burner.
103
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,757
Oh. All right.
104
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,551
But what is your
hypothesis gonna be?
105
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:40,469
That it's fun to burn things?
106
00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:42,350
As long as your permission
slip is signed, yeah.
107
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,561
Get in line, kid.
108
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,815
Hey, Ava. Sorry to bother...
109
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,150
Then don't.
110
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:57,653
So, while I was
getting a haircut,
111
00:03:57,654 --> 00:04:00,197
I mentioned the school
was doing a science fair.
112
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,159
And your dad happened
to overhear and asked
113
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,369
if the barbershop could sponsor.
114
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:07,455
I am so tired of men
talking to each other.
115
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:10,040
Right. I just... I didn't
know if you and him were...
116
00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,625
There is no me and him.
117
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,461
There's him and his
other family, though.
118
00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:16,297
Okay, um, well, just want
to give you a heads-up.
119
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,049
Here is the donation.
120
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:22,094
Money's money. Scram.
121
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:25,055
Principal Coleman,
122
00:04:25,056 --> 00:04:26,307
they're saying I can't
do the science fair
123
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,309
'cause my permission
slip isn't signed.
124
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:30,269
Can't believe you need
permission to be a nerd.
125
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,272
I left it on the table
right next to my dad's keys.
126
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,442
He forgot to sign it.
He always forgets.
127
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:38,235
That does sound like
something a dad would do.
128
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,404
Tell me about your project.
129
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,822
I'm testing various
filtration methods to see
130
00:04:41,823 --> 00:04:43,866
how to get the cleanest water.
131
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:45,534
Ooh. For when we lose
access to running water
132
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,620
and the proxy wars
escalate into World War Z?
133
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,079
For when I go camping.
134
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,457
Oh. Well, I can help you.
135
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,334
It doesn't look like it's
going too well so far.
136
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,336
This is my control.
137
00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:57,379
It's straight from the
school's water fountain.
138
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,964
Oh, someone really
needs to do something
139
00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,716
about this nasty-ass school.
140
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:02,426
Give me that paper.
141
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,386
And most importantly,
142
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,222
we must see a clear
hypothesis and gather data.
143
00:05:06,223 --> 00:05:08,057
This isn't a game.
144
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,141
This is the volunteer
science fair,
145
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,226
grades three through eight.
146
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,894
You have the science part down,
147
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:14,813
so I will be judging
them on presentation.
148
00:05:14,814 --> 00:05:19,443
I was thinking points for
glitz, bonuses for glamour.
149
00:05:19,444 --> 00:05:21,028
And I would like
to focus on, you know,
150
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,446
should this project
even be explored?
151
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,114
You know, what are
the ripple effects?
152
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:26,158
Science doesn't care about
glitz and glamour or morals.
153
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,993
You build the A-bomb.
154
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:28,870
You don't worry
about how it's used.
155
00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:30,037
First of all, yikes.
156
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,914
And second of all,
157
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:34,542
presentation does
matter, as do morals.
158
00:05:34,543 --> 00:05:36,669
That is a very simplistic
approach to a subject
159
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:40,297
that actually matters, which
I realize is new for you both.
160
00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,174
You know something?
161
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:45,553
You are tap-dancing on
my last nerve, Morton.
162
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,096
And I don't like
the choreography.
163
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,765
And if this is the way that
you are gonna run things,
164
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:53,561
well, the only thing I
will be judging is you...
165
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,937
guilty.
166
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:56,355
Case closed.
167
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,566
You are hereby sentenced to...
168
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,193
never speak to us again.
169
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:02,362
Period.
170
00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,738
Is this what we're gonna use?
171
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:05,781
Yes, absolutely.
172
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,491
Oh, Hi, Tyree. Welcome back.
173
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,076
You got your
permission slip signed?
174
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,745
Sure did. By me.
He's good to go...
175
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,289
to wipe the floor
with all y'all.
176
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:14,873
What?! Excuse me.
177
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,625
You heard me.
178
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,586
With my help, Tyree's project
is taking first place.
179
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:20,921
And it won't be close, so you
might as well give up now.
180
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,173
Ava, the science fair
is not about winning.
181
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,801
Oh, good job. That's exactly
what a loser sounds like.
182
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,511
Why
are you even here?
183
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:29,054
You know nothing about science.
184
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,889
You don't? No, I do.
185
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,309
Uh, I have questions
about science,
186
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:34,810
but i-isn't that
the entire point?
187
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,103
Right? I'm sciencing right now.
188
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,813
Ava, this is supposed
to be for the kids.
189
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,648
- We don't need to be overly
involved. - Yeah.
190
00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:41,859
Unless you're saying you
think you're better than me.
191
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,152
Well, I wasn't gonna say that,
192
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,321
but of course
that's what I think.
193
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,781
- Oh, we are going to wreck you.
- We?!
194
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:49,742
Okay, wait. Don't
forget about us. Us?!
195
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:53,245
Yes, because our project is
educational and extremely cool.
196
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,080
- It's not that cool.
- No.
197
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,248
Melissa, it's a volcano.
198
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:57,541
It's the coolest thing ever.
199
00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,084
Then you're in trouble.
200
00:06:59,085 --> 00:07:00,336
Because the only thing
Janine knows less about
201
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,254
than science is what's cool.
202
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,797
Oh.
203
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,467
Don't worry.
204
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:09,219
I know science, and I know cool.
205
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,347
Aah! Ooh! Ooh!
Ooh. Ooh.
206
00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,723
And that wasn't cool.
207
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,058
That was extremely hot.
208
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,392
And my arm hurts, so I'm
gonna go to the nurse
209
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,852
to make sure I'm
all right. Yeah.
210
00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,187
Clarissa, I'll be back.
We're gonna win this thing.
211
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,188
Ouch.
212
00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,359
Excuse me. Can anyone help me?
213
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,818
I can help you.
And you're in luck
214
00:07:24,819 --> 00:07:25,944
'cause I used to work at NASA.
215
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,738
I was a "Hidden Figure."
216
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,616
Okay, but I saw that movie,
and I don't remember you in it.
217
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,494
That's how hidden I was.
218
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,496
Not only are we
winning that trophy...
219
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:36,955
We can bottle this
stuff and sell it.
220
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:40,376
Evian? More like
Ava-ian.
221
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,878
Ms. Teagues, I don't
want to lose. Mm-hmm?
222
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,756
Oh, you won't, because
you've got me on your team.
223
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,383
Okay, I was thinking,
224
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,718
how about if I paint
my volcano purple
225
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,553
and put glitter all over it?
226
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:52,846
Oh, okay. Um...
227
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,973
Or a better idea...
228
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,767
What if we do something
229
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,936
that will make it
good so that we win?
230
00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,480
'Cause, right?
It's about winning.
231
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,691
Ms. Schemmenti, maybe I could
put funny eyes on my potato
232
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,275
and draw a silly mouth.
233
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,319
This isn't a
Mr. Potato Head, Eric.
234
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,823
This is the future of energy
production in America.
235
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,450
Now go get some copper wiring.
236
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,286
And get some butter
in case we get hungry.
237
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:22,042
Jacob, I've been thinking.
238
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:25,129
We were pretty hard on Morton,
and maybe we should help him.
239
00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,380
Oh, that's funny, because
I was just thinking
240
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,090
we should erase
him from our minds,
241
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:29,466
"Eternal Sunshine" -style.
242
00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,261
Okay, but I would prefer
to do the godly thing.
243
00:08:32,262 --> 00:08:34,263
Barbara, that man is Beelzebub.
244
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,181
It is not just about Morton.
245
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,767
The science fair
needs our balance.
246
00:08:38,768 --> 00:08:41,311
He told me once that he drove
to New York instead of flying
247
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:42,730
because... and I quote...
248
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,899
"My biggest fear in
life is lady pilots."
249
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,568
You
wouldn't be doing it for him.
250
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:50,612
You're doing it
for the children.
251
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,406
Come on.
252
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:54,158
Fine.
253
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:55,826
But I think we could all
stand to care a little less
254
00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,327
about the children.
255
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,374
This looks so good. Mm-hmm.
256
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,251
Can we glue some
jelly beans on it?
257
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:07,963
Well, how many times have you
seen jelly beans on a volcano?
258
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,256
I've never seen a volcano.
259
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:11,133
Neither have I,
260
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:13,051
but I'm pretty sure there's
no jelly beans on them.
261
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,596
So how about we glue some
of those little trees on?
262
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:19,141
Oh, but volcanoes
have little trees?
263
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:20,893
Um, I'm gonna go
borrow the glue gun
264
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,494
from Ms. Schemmenti,
okay? Be right back.
265
00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:25,272
Yeah, I don't know.
266
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,399
It's just lacking,
like, a "wow" factor.
267
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,234
Are you familiar with
the Vegas Sphere?
268
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:32,154
No, but I think this is good.
269
00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:33,655
Okay. It's not about
what you think is good.
270
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,075
It's about me being Ava.
I mean, you beating Ava.
271
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,451
I mean, you winning the trophy.
272
00:09:37,452 --> 00:09:38,786
You know what? You
know what I mean.
273
00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:40,204
Hey, Melissa. Hey.
274
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,956
Hey, can I borrow your glue gun?
275
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:46,627
Uh, yeah, we're using
it right now, so...
276
00:09:46,628 --> 00:09:48,545
Wow.
277
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,172
Oh. What do you got here?
278
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,050
A potato trying to power a
little itty-bitty light bulb?
279
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,384
Yeah. That's cool, I guess.
280
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:55,803
When we're done,
281
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,055
that thing's gonna light
up the whole Vegas Strip.
282
00:09:58,056 --> 00:09:59,848
Why do you keep
talking about Vegas?
283
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,517
Hey, why won't you
just let me borrow it?
284
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,018
We're supposed to be
trying to beat Ava.
285
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:05,687
Oh, it's gotten so much
bigger than Ava now, hon.
286
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:08,398
I heard Tasha is working with
some kid on a hoverboard.
287
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,275
What? Even Dia's
helping somebody.
288
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,402
And who knows what this
little one's up to?
289
00:10:12,403 --> 00:10:14,321
Hey, you put that back!
290
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:16,949
Put... Put it back! Put
it back, you snaggletooth!
291
00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:20,244
And you quit spying on us.
292
00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,496
Where did he go?
293
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,623
Where'd who go? You okay?
294
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,750
I will be when I win the
science fair, fair and square.
295
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,211
When you win? I thought
this was just for the kids.
296
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:30,420
Don't you think you're taking
this a little bit too...
297
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,590
"Seriously"? I love when
we finish each other's...
298
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,551
Aww. I love that you
never cut me off.
299
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,012
Is that charcoal?
What's it look like?
300
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:41,890
Hey, you know you can't
grill in here, right?
301
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,101
Y'all wasn't saying that when
you was eating them ribs I made.
302
00:10:44,102 --> 00:10:46,728
Hey, help me with this.
303
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:49,231
Oh, my. What the...
304
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:50,524
You getting it? Perfect.
305
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,192
What?! That looks
pretty elaborate.
306
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,527
I just want to know what
you have going on here.
307
00:10:53,528 --> 00:10:54,445
Yeah, how about you mind
your business, though?
308
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:55,613
Uh, if you... Okay?
309
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,908
Wow.
310
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,618
All right.
311
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:03,662
Uh, we need to scrap the
volcano and start over.
312
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,330
But I like this.
313
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,499
I know, but likes
are for Instagram,
314
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,126
and we need love
to win the Morty.
315
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:10,752
Can't believe I
just called it that.
316
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:12,046
Let's get to work.
317
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,095
Um...
318
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,388
Is it working?
319
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,557
Uh, no. It's just
spreading it everywhere.
320
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,351
Then it's working.
321
00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,858
Mr. Morton, we would
like to apologize
322
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,401
for storming out on you.
323
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,361
And we will consider
coming back as judges.
324
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,447
But only if we are
treated as equals.
325
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,449
Science is a meritocracy.
326
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:41,909
You'll be treated as
equal if you are equal.
327
00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:43,035
And we're out. And there.
328
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,746
Okay. Hold on, hold on.
329
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,539
Look, I know I can
come across as harsh.
330
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,708
Uh-huh. So you're aware
of it and you still do it.
331
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,794
But science is not a
place for leniency.
332
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,755
I'm rigid because
science is rigid.
333
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,799
And dryly delivered
data falls on deaf ears.
334
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,802
"Data fall." "Data" is
the plural of "datum."
335
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,513
I swear to God, Morton! No!
336
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:07,768
Mr. Morton, we are trying to
help you make this science fair
337
00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:09,686
as good as it can possibly be.
338
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,855
Well, these kids volunteered
for the science fair.
339
00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:13,774
They want to learn.
340
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,525
So if we want to make this
as enriching as possible,
341
00:12:15,526 --> 00:12:18,071
we cannot go easy on them.
342
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,787
We will do our best
to uphold the highest
343
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:28,915
of our individual standards.
344
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,085
Team?
345
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,629
Team.
346
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:38,048
Team.
347
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:45,138
Just headed to my mailbox
to get my volcano parts.
348
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:47,891
Just wait till you see
the size of my hose.
349
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,518
Your hose doesn't scare me.
350
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,521
But your mouth annoys
me. So close it.
351
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,606
Hello?
352
00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:58,485
Uh, I'm Frank, one of the
sponsors for the science fair.
353
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:01,030
Ooh, you seem scared.
You're scared, aren't you?
354
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,908
The sponsors aren't supposed to
come until the fair tomorrow.
355
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:06,576
Well, good to know.
356
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:09,037
Actually, is Ava around?
357
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:10,539
You might
as well forfeit.
358
00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,249
But when you do it, you
should call it a "four-feet."
359
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,710
'Cause
you're short.
360
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,129
Nice burn.
361
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,096
What are you doing here?
362
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,431
Well, I didn't know if you
got the money I donated.
363
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,224
I didn't hear from you.
364
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,934
Of course that's
why you gave it.
365
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,688
Well, I have tried
to reach out before.
366
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,273
Frank, what are we doing?
367
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,108
I have a school to run
and a science fair to win.
368
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,651
Fine. I-I'll get
out of your hair...
369
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,361
and go cut someone else's.
370
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,612
That wasn't funny.
371
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,198
Come on, Ava.
372
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,959
Ava, I'm... I'm so sorry.
373
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,586
He seems like he's trying.
374
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,504
It's just...
375
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,923
the hole
in my heart is so big.
376
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,341
I just...
377
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,387
Oh, Ava. I'm sor...
378
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,805
Get your little feelings
out of here, girl.
379
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,932
I'm fine.
380
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,642
I'm gonna kick
your ass tomorrow.
381
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,403
Please. You couldn't
reach my ass to kick it.
382
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,360
Okay. And remember
to speak clearly.
383
00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:23,820
This isn't a
presentation. All right?
384
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,697
This is Carnaval.
You're the ringleader.
385
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,282
The volcano is the elephant.
386
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:28,992
I'm the cotton candy,
and Barb is the customer.
387
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,660
What?
388
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,704
Okay, remember, kid...
It's all about showmanship.
389
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,539
Like, you've heard of
Wayne Newton, right?
390
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,333
Um, I've tried his cookies.
391
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:38,835
That's Fig Newton.
Oh, my God, no.
392
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,837
All right. Dress
rehearsal time.
393
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:42,214
Run it!
394
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,965
We have successfully made
395
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:44,966
Abbott's drinking
water drinkable.
396
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,426
That's right.
397
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:47,844
And then you're gonna
extend your hand
398
00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:50,180
so that you can take
hold of the trophy. Mm.
399
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,389
Okay. Oh, look.
They're judging
400
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:52,516
that little cutie
patootie over there.
401
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,850
Let's see.
402
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,685
For my project, I proved
403
00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:58,355
that watering white
flowers with food coloring
404
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,606
changes the color
of the flowers.
405
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,108
Oh, I'm sorry.
406
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:03,860
I didn't realize I was
at the Obvious Fair.
407
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,195
Well, I think it's lovely.
408
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:06,780
Those are some pretty colors.
409
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,908
I know it's tempting to be nice,
410
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,327
but remember... The
students need the truth.
411
00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,609
The higher the standards, the
more they'll actually learn.
412
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,749
Sorry, sweetheart,
413
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,460
but it looks like you just
poured Kool-Aid on your flowers.
414
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,838
Yeah. How will
this help society?
415
00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:24,506
Uh... it's pretty?
416
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,174
I would argue that our
obsession with beauty
417
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,009
is actually hurting society.
418
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,594
This is a zero. Let's move on.
419
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,347
N...
420
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:38,645
So basically, you're telling
us that you've learned nothing
421
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:39,688
in practical experimentation
that you couldn't have learned
422
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,106
in a book? Barbara,
Jacob, anything to add?
423
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:44,151
Well, yellow highlighter
on a white poster board...
424
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,278
It's a bit off-putting.
425
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,530
Sweetheart, your
message is lost.
426
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:51,241
Did you think about how this
would impact global warming?
427
00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:52,617
Global what? You're
really are starting
428
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:54,704
to sound like a conspiracy
theorist, Jacob.
429
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,498
Oh, Courtney. Sweetheart,
430
00:15:58,499 --> 00:16:00,584
why don't you go back
to your project station?
431
00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,002
We will be with you shortly.
432
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,712
My project is ongoing.
433
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,131
Ah. Our sponsors are here.
434
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,718
Gregory. Great to see you.
435
00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,848
The forced interactions
at the barbershop
436
00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:17,392
are already not fun for me.
437
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:20,896
"Hey, Gregory, would you let
a female buy you dinner?"
438
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:23,523
Now it's followed me to work.
439
00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,734
I'm gonna start shaving my head.
440
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,569
And this is meant
to be to scale?
441
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,988
A scale? It's...
No.
442
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,656
Of course it's not. No.
443
00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:34,784
Is that the brightest
light you could have found?
444
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,453
Barb, come on. It's
me.
445
00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:37,579
Hmm.
446
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,247
And you chose a sample study
447
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,917
over observational
for convenience?
448
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,793
My next filtration system
will be to filter you
449
00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:45,004
out of this school.
450
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:47,881
After tallying everything up,
451
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,758
we'd like to announce
that the winner is...
452
00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,218
nobody.
453
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,011
What?!
454
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,680
But each of your projects
were amazing... What?
455
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,182
In their own way.
456
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,267
Yes. Unfortunately,
no one project
457
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,312
satisfied all of the judges'
wildly different standards.
458
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:04,189
That's not fair!
459
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:06,483
Weak! Everybody, listen!
460
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:09,402
How can a volcano be
culturally appropriated?
461
00:17:09,403 --> 00:17:11,571
I produced light from a potato.
462
00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:14,199
What have you made from a
potato besides hash browns?
463
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,408
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
464
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,869
Mrs. Howard's just a hater.
465
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,329
Yeah!
466
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:22,249
Listen, we understand
your frustration,
467
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,458
but this is good.
468
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,001
Science is all about
trial and error.
469
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,046
These rules are absurd
and have nothing
470
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,297
to do with their projects.
471
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,258
I just wanted to
paint my volcano
472
00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,094
and put jelly beans on it, but
Ms. Teagues wouldn't let me.
473
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,096
Oh. And I wanted
to put googly eyes
474
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:37,138
on my potato.
- That was you.
475
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,015
That would have
been cool as hell.
476
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:42,394
Those eyes would have been all
like, "Whoaaa!" Student: Yeah.
477
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,729
The grown-ups took
this way too seriously.
478
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,690
Yeah! Yeah!
479
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:48,275
Hey, calm down. Courtney: You
don't get to judge us anymore.
480
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:50,610
Okay, fellow scientists,
change your projects back
481
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:51,945
- to what you wanted them to
be. - Mm-hmm. Okay.
482
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,613
And then we'll judge
ourselves... Yeah.
483
00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,031
Yeah. And
choose our own winner.
484
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:58,451
- Yeah!
- It's a little revolting...
485
00:17:58,452 --> 00:17:59,703
Absolutely not.
486
00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,247
Too late. We already
whooped in agreement.
487
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,499
Oh.
488
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:12,173
Hey, guys, maybe we went
a wee bit overboard.
489
00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,134
Yeah, it's 'cause I
hate losing. Mm-hmm.
490
00:18:14,135 --> 00:18:17,178
And it doesn't matter if it's
a dumb potato or the ponies.
491
00:18:17,179 --> 00:18:20,890
The only way to feel better is
just keep making those bets.
492
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,184
Well, don't look at
me. I was helping.
493
00:18:23,185 --> 00:18:24,728
I mean, you all went
and made it competitive.
494
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,981
I'm the victim in
this, quite honestly.
495
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,697
This is what I do.
496
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:38,533
I take great things and I
turn them into bad things.
497
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,244
I think it's a good thing
498
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,246
that the students are
doing this for themselves.
499
00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,831
No. You're wrong. I'm right.
500
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,916
I did it with my first wife.
501
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,543
I did it with my second wife.
502
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:49,836
Even almost pushed
you guys away.
503
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,213
My new best friends.
504
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,550
Morton, I think that you should,
505
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:59,221
um, think about your
problems scientifically.
506
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,225
Well, consider this.
507
00:19:04,226 --> 00:19:08,021
You are Y and your exes are L's.
508
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:10,940
Well, if all of the
L's keep leaving,
509
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,693
then Y is the problem.
510
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:16,404
Look, you said you love
science for the rules, right?
511
00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:18,073
Maybe... Maybe you just need
512
00:19:18,074 --> 00:19:21,868
some rules for life
outside of science.
513
00:19:21,869 --> 00:19:24,704
If you always have a problem,
the constant is you. Mm.
514
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,790
In this case, me.
515
00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,292
Thanks, guys. Yeah.
516
00:19:29,293 --> 00:19:30,752
Maybe we should
hang out more often.
517
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:33,171
Hard pass, buddy.
518
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,590
Yeah, yeah. Maybe we could.
519
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,425
All right.
520
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:37,843
Psych!
521
00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:41,388
Thanks, Deli Guy.
522
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:44,641
Hey, this was a
really nice event.
523
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,267
Well done.
524
00:19:46,268 --> 00:19:48,144
Of course it was well
done. It's my school.
525
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,313
Well... But, yeah,
thanks for the money.
526
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:51,773
The kids had a good time.
527
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,566
You're welcome. If you want,
528
00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:55,443
I could throw in a
few haircuts, too.
529
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,362
Oh, I saw what you did
with Gregory's hair.
530
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,782
We good. Okay.
531
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,955
Attention! Attention!
532
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,332
We have chosen a winner. Okay.
533
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,460
Envelope, please.
534
00:20:14,130 --> 00:20:15,338
Seriously. I know.
535
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,632
And the winner is...
536
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:19,467
Courtney.
537
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:22,679
Oh, yeah! Ah-ha-ha!
538
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:23,930
Thank you, thank you.
539
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,598
This is... cute.
540
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,684
To be honest,
541
00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:29,727
I never thought Abbott
would be the perfect place
542
00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:31,479
to test my model about the
effects of power dynamics
543
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,398
in competitive environments.
544
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,899
Shout-out to all the
teachers who proved
545
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,735
that adults can't
handle competition.
546
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,445
See, that's not science.
That's just mean.
547
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,071
Mm. Nah. She's an evil genius.
548
00:20:40,072 --> 00:20:41,406
Reminds me of me.
549
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,950
I wonder how she is
at counting cards.
550
00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:45,243
Hey, we need to talk.
551
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,453
You all right?
552
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,039
p
553
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,250
It's okay. You'll
get 'em next...
554
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:54,002
Next year. I finished
your sentence.
555
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:55,837
I was gonna say "next time,"
556
00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:57,672
but that was clo... Oh. Close.
557
00:20:57,673 --> 00:20:59,132
Close. I got it.
558
00:20:59,133 --> 00:20:59,967
All right, I'll
give you that one.
559
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:01,801
Okay. Come on, little buddy.
560
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,136
Let's get you home.
561
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,847
Oh, must be out of batteries.
562
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:06,973
Someone hand me a potato.
563
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,767
Oh, Mr. Johnson.
564
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:09,934
That's not the remote
for your robot.
565
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,060
What's it for, then?
566
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,646
Uh, that is for...
567
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:15,273
Oh, my God, it's the big hose.
568
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,275
Oh, it's gonna blow!
569
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,235
Aaaaahhhh!
570
00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:29,788
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