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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:09,235 - Guess how fast we're going now. - I don't care, I'm having a baby! 4 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,363 Hundred and five miles an hour, you believe that? 5 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,413 Reese, you just passed the hospital! 6 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:25,293 - The baby's coming, he's coming now! - All right, all right, hold on. 7 00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:28,379 - Okay, but I think he might be stuck. - Grab onto something. Ready? 8 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,506 One, two, three! 9 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,390 It's a baby boy. 10 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:44,687 I'm happy that Waffle House was okay with me coming here... 11 00:01:44,855 --> 00:01:46,981 ...to talk to y'all about my day-to-day. 12 00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,984 And, y'all, that's pretty much, in a shell... 13 00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:52,361 ...what it's like to manage a Waffle House. 14 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:55,072 Ma'am, I don't know what else you want me to say to them. 15 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,700 And I'm also gonna need to know where your commode's at. 16 00:01:57,868 --> 00:02:00,453 Okay, let's give him a round of applause. Thank you. 17 00:02:01,914 --> 00:02:04,665 Okay, next up is Ricky Bobby. Ricky, is your father here? 18 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:08,085 No, ma'am. I haven't seen my daddy in years. 19 00:02:08,253 --> 00:02:10,379 But my mama say he's out racing cars... 20 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,924 ...and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves. 21 00:02:14,218 --> 00:02:17,470 Okay, kids, that's enough. We're gonna move on to Brennan. 22 00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,639 Don't pay them no mind, Ricky. 23 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:23,100 Thanks, Cal. Shake and Bake. You'll be my best friend forever. 24 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:25,061 His job is like as a prison guard. 25 00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:28,105 Excuse me, darling. I'm Reese Bobby. 26 00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:30,691 I'm here for career day with my son, Ricky. 27 00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,569 - Dad! - Hey there, boy! 28 00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,614 Man, you got big. How long's it been? Three, four months? 29 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:38,741 - Ten years. - Ten years? 30 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,077 Man, I gotta lay off the peyote. 31 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:42,912 Mr. Bobby, there's no smoking in here. 32 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,872 It's all right, I'm a volunteer fireman. 33 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,835 Okay, I am a semi-professional racecar driver... 34 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,671 ...and an amateur tattoo artist. 35 00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:56,843 And the first thing you gotta learn if you're gonna be a racecar driver... 36 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,594 ...is you don't listen to losers... 37 00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:02,056 - ...like your know-it-all teacher here. - Okay, I think that's enough. 38 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:05,184 Your teacher wants you to go slow, and she's wrong... 39 00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:08,980 ...because it's the fastest who gets paid and it's the fastest who gets laid. 40 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,485 Oh, yeah. You know what I'm talking about. 41 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:17,196 You people are in the wrong on this one! 42 00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:18,614 So in the wrong! 43 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:22,618 This is egregious, do you hear me? Egregious! 44 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:29,083 We were cellmates together, Andy. You got payback coming! 45 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,670 Dad! 46 00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,298 Don't listen to these people, Ricky. You're a winner. 47 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:40,428 You got the gift. Always remember, if you ain't first, you're last. 48 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:47,226 If you ain't first, you're last. 49 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,563 - See you when you're grown up. - Dad! Come back, Dad! 50 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:05,244 It's a hot one here in Talladega... 51 00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:09,999 ...and this crowd of over 180,000 is enjoying one heck of a day. 52 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,808 Yo, Terry. Terry, we got the caution. Bring it in for a pit. Let's work on it. 53 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:41,322 All right, fellas, let's go. 54 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:44,075 Looking good. Yes, come on. 55 00:04:44,242 --> 00:04:45,534 Keep it up, baby. 56 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,871 - All right, way to go. - Go, way to go. 57 00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:50,623 Nice jack work, Ricky. 58 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,500 Hey, Shake and Bake, Cal. 59 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,836 - Shake and Bake! - Terry, it's all on you, bro. You go. 60 00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:58,130 Go, baby, go. Wait, what are you doing? 61 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:01,050 - I gotta take a piss. - Go, go, go! 62 00:05:01,218 --> 00:05:03,886 It doesn't matter, Lucius. We're in last place. Relax. 63 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,847 Jeez, I gotta go take a whiz. Get off my ass. 64 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,975 You see, this is what I'm talking about. 65 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:12,687 That's why this group right here is the laughingstock of NASCAR. 66 00:05:12,854 --> 00:05:14,438 Face it, we suck. 67 00:05:14,606 --> 00:05:18,401 It's not always bad to be in last place. Here's some things we can focus on: 68 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,737 One, we tried hard. And two, we're still dear friends. 69 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,239 Glenn, shut up. 70 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,033 I see Terry. He's having a chicken sandwich. 71 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:31,038 Hey, fellas! These are really good. You should try one. 72 00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:33,082 That place actually makes a nice sauce. 73 00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:35,418 Let me eat this, then I gotta make a phone call... 74 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,379 - ...then I'm coming back, all right? - This is the bottom line. 75 00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,548 If we don't get that car back on the track... 76 00:05:40,716 --> 00:05:43,259 ...our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. 77 00:05:43,427 --> 00:05:48,347 Now, is there anyone out there who wants to go fast? Anybody? 78 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,684 I wanna go fast. 79 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:55,438 Hey, get him a suit. Hurry up, make it snappy. Let's go. 80 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:57,940 - Hustle up, hustle up. - Hey, man! 81 00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,736 Remember when we got kicked out of biology for playing with Matchbox cars? 82 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,321 - Yeah! - Who's retarded now? 83 00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:07,491 - Yeah. - Hey, what are you doing after this? 84 00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:09,201 - After the race? - Yeah. 85 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,371 I don't know, but it feels like we're wasting a lot of time. 86 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,707 No, I know, I know. I'm just excited, man! 87 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,210 - Yeah, I know. Yeah. - Hey! I love you! 88 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,962 - What? - Nothing. 89 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,965 Shake and Bake! Get some! 90 00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:27,303 You're my best friend! You're my best friend! 91 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:29,180 - Okay, then! - I'm in there with you! 92 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,265 - I gotta get going! - Go, go! 93 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,647 - Yeah! - That's Ricky, baby! 94 00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,066 That's my boy, Ricky! 95 00:06:44,488 --> 00:06:46,655 Hey, Ricky, just remember one thing: 96 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,784 If you wreck that car, that's 200 grand out of your pocket... 97 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,952 ...so let's take it nice and slow, okay? 98 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,873 With all due respect, Lucius, I'm gonna do some driving. 99 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:00,753 Excuse me, coming through. 100 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:06,050 Apparently, we've got a situation for the Laughing Clown, number 26 car. 101 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:09,053 Terry Cheveaux is refusing to drive. one of his crew members... 102 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:10,471 ...has taken the wheel. 103 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:13,933 Hey, just wanted to share a little piece of personal information with you. 104 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,351 I got a chubby right now... 105 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,521 ...because this is one of the most awesome experiences of my life... 106 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,356 ...because I'm getting to drive a racecar! 107 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:23,234 I can't believe it! Oh, my God! 108 00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,711 Wow, that was cool. 109 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,797 Come on, come on. 110 00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:54,473 The big story from Talladega: 111 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:58,018 Little-known jack-man Ricky Bobby places third in the Dennit machine. 112 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:01,564 Ricky, first of all, where did you learn to drive like that? 113 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:05,734 In a car. Car handle really good. Yeah. 114 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,695 Can you speak up, Ricky? 115 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,738 A car. It handled real good. 116 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,241 So, what do you think, Mr. Dennit? He sure can drive. 117 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,911 He's got guts. Dennit Racing needs a racer like him. 118 00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,872 Come on, Dad. He's just a stupid cowboy. 119 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,665 Look how bad he is in that interview. 120 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,502 Junior, driving has got nothing to do with interviews. 121 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,755 I just wish to hell you had a little more stupid cowboy in you. 122 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:30,426 I felt like I was on a spaceship and... 123 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,137 I'm not sure what to do with my hands. 124 00:08:33,305 --> 00:08:35,222 Be good to hold them down by your side. 125 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:39,602 We're really happy with what was going on. 126 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:44,481 And at the end of the day, you know, you gotta be happy. 127 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:48,777 - What did you say his name was again? - His name is Ricky. Ricky Bobby. 128 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:51,488 Ricky Bobby? He's got two first names. 129 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:53,657 Whatever his name is, let's get him over here. 130 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:56,035 Everything ended up fine. 131 00:08:57,204 --> 00:09:00,372 Yeah, okay, everything was fine. Thanks, thanks. Great job in the car. 132 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,958 Ricky Bobby, a force to be reckoned with, possibly... 133 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,543 ...in the near future. 134 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,754 Ricky Bobby with yet another impressive win. 135 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,631 He is dominating NASCAR. 136 00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,383 First or last, baby, you know it! 137 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,553 I've never seen a driver who wants to win more than this guy. 138 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,056 I could get used to this winning thing! 139 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:35,908 Dennit Racing Incorporated has decided to field an additional car. 140 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:38,994 And, at the urging of Ricky Bobby... 141 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:43,249 ...who's been like a son to me, only better... 142 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:46,919 ...I'm naming Cal Naughton Jr. as the driver. 143 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:50,589 All right. 144 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,424 - Cal Naughton. - Hey... 145 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,261 ...we just want to say to all you other drivers out there... 146 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:58,472 ...if you smell a delicious, crispy smell after the race... 147 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,850 ...it's not your tailpipe, it's a little bit... 148 00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,435 ...of shake... 149 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,021 And then bake. 150 00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,648 Shake and Bake! 151 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,276 - That's our nickname. - Get used to hearing it. 152 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,319 And Ricky Bobby wins... 153 00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,905 ...with Cal Naughton Jr. finishing second. 154 00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:18,325 - Yeah! - Hey, man! 155 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,786 - Shake... - And bake! 156 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,541 Hey, driver! Drive these. 157 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,379 Please be 18. 158 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:43,851 You want to make this out to Charlotte? 159 00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,477 Hey, excuse me, Ricky. 160 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,521 - Hey, Dale. - Hey, can I get your autograph? 161 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,858 - Sure. Who do I make this out to? - It's for me. I think you're awesome. 162 00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,569 - Don't tell the other drivers. - I'm not gonna tell anyone. 163 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:55,070 I'll see you out there. 164 00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:57,239 Absolutely, ma'am, I'd love to sign your baby. 165 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:59,408 You're not gonna wanna wash that forehead. 166 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:03,412 - That's right, Powerade's number one. - Not just for hydration, for vitamin. 167 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,081 No, it's me, it's me, Susan, your assistant. 168 00:11:06,249 --> 00:11:08,250 Gotta watch it when I get into autograph mode. 169 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,337 I know, I'm sorry. It's my fault, I shouldn't have been standing. 170 00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,131 I'm Ricky Bobby. Christmas is right around the corner... 171 00:11:14,299 --> 00:11:16,342 ...and what better gift to give a loved one... 172 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,093 ...than the Jackhawk 9000? 173 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,678 Available at Wal-Mart. 174 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,264 When you work on your mysterious lady-part stuff... 175 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,934 ...you should have the right tools too. So that's why you should use... 176 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,936 ...Maypax, the official tampon of NASCAR. 177 00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:30,939 I'm Ricky Bobby. 178 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,276 If you don't chew Big Red, then f*** you. 179 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:39,948 Prune candy. 180 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,619 - You happy? - I'm very happy. 181 00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:46,163 - Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. - And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 182 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:48,749 Urging you never to travel to Tijuana. 183 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:50,667 Ricky! Ricky! Ricky! 184 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,961 Okay, I'm starting to get sick. 185 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:56,882 Dick Berggren in Las Vegas, Victory Lane, for Fox Television. 186 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,968 Ricky Bobby, today's big winner. Heck of a win for you today... 187 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:04,181 ...but it seems as if you either win or crash the car trying to win. 188 00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:07,476 Well, Dick, here's the deal. I'm the best there is, plain and simple. 189 00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:10,104 I mean, I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence. 190 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,231 And nobody can hang with my stuff. 191 00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:15,651 You know, I'm just a big, hairy, American winning machine. 192 00:12:15,819 --> 00:12:18,737 If you ain't first, you're last. You know what I'm talking about? 193 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,197 That phrase is trademarked... 194 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,908 ...not to be used without permission of Ricky Bobby Inc. 195 00:12:29,916 --> 00:12:33,585 Supper's ready! Come on, y'all! I've been slaving over this for hours! 196 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,631 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 197 00:12:37,799 --> 00:12:41,176 ...or as our brothers to the south call you, Jesús... 198 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:47,391 ...we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino's, KFC... 199 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,644 ...and the always delicious Taco Bell. 200 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,605 I just want to take time to say thank you for my family... 201 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:57,192 ...my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome, striking sons... 202 00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,862 ...Walker and Texas Ranger... 203 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,072 ...or T. R., as we call him... 204 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,033 ...and of course, my red-hot smoking wife, Carley... 205 00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,035 ...who is a stone-cold fox. 206 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,873 Who if you were to rate her ass on 100, it would easily be a 94. 207 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,418 Also wanna thank you for my best friend, Cal Naughton Jr... 208 00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,420 ...who's got my back no matter what. 209 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:18,714 Shake and Bake. 210 00:13:18,882 --> 00:13:22,009 Dear Lord baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's father, Chip. 211 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,386 We hope that you can use your baby Jesus powers... 212 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,347 ...to heal him and his horrible leg. 213 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,185 And it smells terrible and the dogs are always bothering with it. 214 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,061 Dear tiny infant Jesus, we-- 215 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:35,022 Hey, you know, sweetie... 216 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,399 ...Jesus did grow up. 217 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,401 You don't always have to call him "baby." 218 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,403 It's odd and off-putting to pray to a baby. 219 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:44,448 Well, I like the Christmas Jesus best and I'm saying grace. 220 00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:47,326 When you say grace, say it to grownup Jesus, teenage Jesus... 221 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,036 ...bearded Jesus, whoever you want. 222 00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:50,454 You know what I want? 223 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:55,209 I want you to do this grace good, so that God will let us win tomorrow. 224 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,169 Dear tiny Jesus... 225 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:02,174 ...in your golden-fleece diapers, with your tiny, little, fat, balled-up fists... 226 00:14:02,425 --> 00:14:04,927 - ...pawing at the air... - He was a man. He had a beard. 227 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,596 Look, I like the baby version the best, do you hear me? 228 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,556 I win the races and I get the money. 229 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:13,268 Ricky, finish the damn grace. 230 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:16,230 I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-shirt... 231 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:19,107 ...because it says, like, "I wanna be formal... 232 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,026 - Right. - ... but I'm here to party too." 233 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,612 Because I like to party, so I like my Jesus to party. 234 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:27,324 I like to picture Jesus as a ninja fighting off evil samurai. 235 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:31,453 I like to think of Jesus, like, with giant eagle's wings. 236 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:34,706 And singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd... 237 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,500 ...with, like, a angel band. 238 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,628 And I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk. 239 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:41,463 Hey, Cal? Why don't you just shut up? 240 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,757 - Yes, ma'am. - Okay. 241 00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:49,304 Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus... 242 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,598 ...don't even know a word yet... 243 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:55,769 ...just a little infant and so cuddly, but still omnipotent... 244 00:14:55,937 --> 00:15:00,566 ...we just thank you for all the races I've won and the 21 .2 million dollars-- 245 00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:04,319 Love that money! 246 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,989 That I have accrued over this past season. 247 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,283 Also, due to a binding endorsement contract... 248 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,994 ...that stipulates I mention Powerade at each grace... 249 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,413 ...I just wanna say that Powerade is delicious... 250 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,790 ...and it cools you off on a hot summer day. 251 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:22,671 And we look forward to Powerade's release of Mystic Mountain Blueberry. 252 00:15:22,839 --> 00:15:26,216 Thank you for all your power and your grace, dear baby God. Amen. 253 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:27,634 - Amen. - Amen. 254 00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,052 Let's dig in! 255 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:32,264 That was a hell of a grace, man. You nailed that like a split hog! 256 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,224 I'm not gonna lie to you, it felt good. 257 00:15:34,392 --> 00:15:36,143 Dad, you made that grace your bitch. 258 00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:38,520 Hey, boys, I wanna see some napkins in the lap. 259 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,188 Boys, how was school today? 260 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:43,567 I threw a bunch of Grandpa Chip's war medals off the bridge. 261 00:15:44,235 --> 00:15:47,029 Sounds like a good day. Texas Ranger, how about you? 262 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,449 Well, the teacher asked me what was the capital of North Carolina. 263 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,534 I said, "Washington, D.C." 264 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:53,702 - Bingo. - Nice. 265 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:58,040 She said, "No, you're wrong." I said, "You got a lumpy butt." 266 00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:01,376 She got mad at me and yelled at me and I pissed in my pants. 267 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,379 And I never did change my pee pants all day. 268 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:06,715 I'm still sitting in my dirty pee pants. 269 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:10,177 I wet my bed until I was 19. There's no shame in that. 270 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:14,806 I get emotional because you guys are working so hard. 271 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,976 I'm just so proud of you. You remind me of me... 272 00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,811 ...precocious and full of wonderment. 273 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,897 Tell you what, Ricky, you are truly blessed. 274 00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,399 - These two are two in a million. - I am. 275 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:26,526 Just like Carley's tatas. 276 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:28,987 You won't find another rack like that, I guarantee. 277 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,864 Thank you, Cal. 278 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:32,491 That's real sweet of you, Cal. 279 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,619 That's real nice. That's one of the nicest things you've ever said. 280 00:16:35,787 --> 00:16:38,288 - Well, I mean it. - Stop, you're gonna make me cry. 281 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,207 It comes from my heart, that's why. 282 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,584 I can't hold my tongue. 283 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:46,004 These kids are my grandchildren, and you are raising them wrong. 284 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,422 They are terrible boys. 285 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:50,258 Shut up, Chip, or I'll go ape-shit on your ass! 286 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,011 I'm gonna scissor-kick you in the back of the head. 287 00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,097 - Yeah! - Yeah. Turn up the heat. 288 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,890 Go on and get some, boys. 289 00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,393 I'm 10 years old, but I'll beat your ass. 290 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,104 Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey. 291 00:17:02,271 --> 00:17:04,022 Like a spider monkey! Go on. 292 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,357 Chip, you brought this on. 293 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,442 The greatest generation, my ass. 294 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,194 Tom Brokaw is a punk. 295 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,404 What is wrong with you? 296 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,823 Chip, I'm all jacked up on Mountain Dew. 297 00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:14,741 I love that. 298 00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:18,412 You gonna let your sons talk to their grandfather like that? I'm their elder. 299 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,623 I sure as hell am, Chip. I love the way they're talking to you. 300 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,459 They're winners. Winners get to do what they want. 301 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,169 Hell, you're just a bag of bones. 302 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:29,131 Only thing you ever done with your life is make a hot daughter. 303 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:31,299 That's it. That is it! 304 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,759 We wanted us some wussies... 305 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:35,679 ...we would've named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman, okay? 306 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,973 I work too hard for your bull, Chip. 307 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,975 Come here. You make me hot. Come here. 308 00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:42,352 Everyone just keep eating. 309 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,147 - It's on. - Come here. Come here. 310 00:17:47,358 --> 00:17:48,984 All right. 311 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,653 I'll hold your hair. 312 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,500 - Hey, Stephen. - Hey, Ricky. 313 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:07,627 Got those two tickets for my special friend? 314 00:18:07,795 --> 00:18:11,548 Yeah, sure do. You know I do, Ricky. Got them right here, buddy. 315 00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,842 Great. Hey, how's your mama's hip? 316 00:18:14,051 --> 00:18:16,136 She's gonna be all right, thank you for asking. 317 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,346 - Appreciate it. Hey, good luck today. - Thanks. 318 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,974 That's the saddest thing I've ever seen in my life. 319 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:23,894 That boy leaves two tickets for his daddy at every race... 320 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:25,353 ...and he never shows up. 321 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,314 That's a shame. 322 00:18:27,482 --> 00:18:30,609 The human heart is such a mystery. 323 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:34,029 - Let's sell these bitches, huh? - Hell, yeah. 324 00:18:34,197 --> 00:18:37,032 - Beer money, huh? - There you go. Yes. 325 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,744 As the laps wind down, Jamie McMurray is the leader. 326 00:18:40,912 --> 00:18:43,997 Cal Naughton in second. Ricky Bobby in third. 327 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,750 What's up, Cal? You ready for a little Shake-and-Bake-age? 328 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,753 - Hey, buddy. - Naughton Jr. is letting Ricky Bobby... 329 00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:53,548 ...draft up to him to make that slingshot move past McMurray. 330 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,259 Can you believe that he would do that for his teammate? 331 00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:58,094 Set him up that way? 332 00:18:59,222 --> 00:19:01,264 Slingshot, engage. 333 00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,352 And there goes Ricky Bobby on the outside! 334 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:06,728 That's how we do it. 335 00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:09,356 Makes his move. Naughton's giving him plenty of room. 336 00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:12,150 What in the hell is he doing, guys? Get him off of me. 337 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:14,569 They touch! They spin! 338 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,822 Snap! 339 00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:19,783 Come on, man! 340 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,872 See you, wouldn't wanna be you. 341 00:19:36,884 --> 00:19:40,095 Look at that! Ricky Bobby's gonna try to win the race in reverse. 342 00:19:40,263 --> 00:19:42,013 Man, he wants this win bad! 343 00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:45,892 Ricky Bobby wins it in reverse! 344 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,936 Unbelievable! I love that! That is cool! 345 00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:53,066 Jamie, losing's never fun, but here's something to pick your spirits up. 346 00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,902 It's real nice. I got it at Target. It's on sale. 347 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,118 Yeah! 348 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,168 - That's it. Another one. Another one. - All right, man. We did it! 349 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:15,881 I don't wanna be raining on your parade, but I gotta tell you... 350 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:20,135 ...that was some of the dumbest driving I have ever seen in my life. 351 00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:22,220 - Thank you. - And I know you won the race... 352 00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:23,972 ...but you're not gonna live forever. 353 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,975 I'm not stupid, Lucius. No one lives forever. No one. 354 00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:31,438 But with advances in modern science and my high level of income... 355 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:35,025 ...I mean, it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245, maybe 300. 356 00:20:35,192 --> 00:20:38,737 I just read in the newspaper they put a pig heart in some Russian guy. 357 00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,197 Know what--? I mean, do you know what that means? 358 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,992 No, I don't know what that means. I guess, longer life. 359 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,036 - Well, no, he didn't live. - He didn't live? 360 00:20:46,203 --> 00:20:48,872 No. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that. 361 00:20:49,206 --> 00:20:51,750 - Ricky? - Hey, Mr. Dennit. 362 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:54,002 - Cheers. - Yeah. 363 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,504 - She already wasted? - Celebrating. 364 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:58,924 She's celebrating. You feel pretty good today, huh? 365 00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,092 Look, Ricky, early word out of NASCAR... 366 00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,012 ...is your little obscene gesture's gonna cost you 100 points. 367 00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:06,640 You know how much that costs us in sponsorship dollars? 368 00:21:06,807 --> 00:21:08,558 With all due respect, Mr. Dennit... 369 00:21:08,726 --> 00:21:13,730 ...I had no idea you had experimental surgery to have your balls removed. 370 00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:15,941 What did you say? What was that? 371 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:17,984 Well, what? I said, "With all due respect." 372 00:21:18,152 --> 00:21:20,820 That doesn't mean you get to say whatever you wanna say to me. 373 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,656 - It sure as heck does. - No, it doesn't. 374 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,658 It's in the Geneva Convention. Look it up. 375 00:21:24,825 --> 00:21:26,993 I remember your daddy used to love it. 376 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:31,873 - This is not my dad-- This is my team-- - Used to love it when I used to win. 377 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:34,459 Now, I suggest you and your wife, Mrs. Jim Beam... 378 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,795 ...you guys go take a chill pill. Enjoy the win! 379 00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,713 - Come on, man! - Yeah, Ricky. Okay. 380 00:21:38,881 --> 00:21:40,632 Baby, photo op, photo op. Come on. 381 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,550 Come on, number one. 382 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,387 Hold my hand, baby. 383 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:56,523 I'll tell you what, though, guys, that was a hell of a race today. 384 00:21:56,691 --> 00:21:59,609 - Shake and Bake in full effect. - It's always been like that. 385 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,405 Me and Ricky, since we were little kids, man. 386 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:06,866 We go together like Chinese food and chocolate pudding. Let's face it. 387 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:09,744 Yeah, but those are two things that don't really go together. 388 00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:12,372 We go together like cocaine and waffles. 389 00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:15,291 No, like, for instance, if I say peanut butter and... 390 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,836 - Ladies, right? - Yep. 391 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,212 - No, jelly. - Am I right? 392 00:22:19,380 --> 00:22:21,631 - Jelly? - You like to put jelly on a lady? 393 00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:24,509 I'm gonna settle this thing. Let's just get ourselves... 394 00:22:24,677 --> 00:22:28,763 ...a whole mess of cocktails, get drunk and work this thing out. 395 00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,598 - Work this thing out. - That's right. 396 00:22:31,392 --> 00:22:35,270 So I was talking to Nana on Saturday, and her birthday's coming up... 397 00:22:35,438 --> 00:22:37,856 ...but I don't know what to get her. She's gonna be 88. 398 00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,774 Get her a coffin. 399 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:49,451 Hey, Cal, I'm sorry about wrecking you today. 400 00:22:49,618 --> 00:22:53,496 - I mean, but that was for the team. - No, that's cool. That's cool, I know. 401 00:22:53,664 --> 00:22:56,207 I was thinking, though, one time... 402 00:22:56,375 --> 00:23:01,004 ...it would be really awesome if, like, you could slingshot me in for a win. 403 00:23:01,172 --> 00:23:03,798 Yeah, but-- Okay, but if you won... 404 00:23:03,966 --> 00:23:06,301 - ...how am I gonna win? - Yeah. 405 00:23:06,469 --> 00:23:09,095 - Think about it. - No, I was thinking about it. 406 00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:11,347 I mean, it's not like you're finishing 18th. 407 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:14,642 - There's nothing wrong with silver. - Nothing wrong with silver at all. 408 00:23:14,810 --> 00:23:17,103 I'm just kidding you, man. I don't wanna win. 409 00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,899 I'll just bury it down inside. 410 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:23,818 Bury it deep down in there, and never bring it up again. 411 00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:26,196 It's painful, and I love you! 412 00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:28,239 Get her a gigolo. 413 00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:31,117 - What? - A guy to have sex with her. 414 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:33,203 No, she's gonna be 88 and... 415 00:23:33,370 --> 00:23:35,997 You don't stop liking sex when you're old. 416 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:40,585 Well, I was thinking more along the line of... 417 00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:45,173 - Like, she likes afghans and quilts. - She's probably got a million of those. 418 00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:48,593 How many dudes does she have coming over to have sex with her? 419 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,846 - None. - Exactly. 420 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,140 Be thoughtful, Glenn. 421 00:23:55,518 --> 00:23:57,018 Don't stop. 422 00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:04,943 What is that? 423 00:24:05,111 --> 00:24:07,529 Someone made a tape of something dying or something. 424 00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:09,697 Hey, turn that crap off. What's going on? 425 00:24:09,865 --> 00:24:11,825 I want this music out of my head. 426 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,493 Hey, turn that off! 427 00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,995 Turn that off right now! 428 00:24:21,627 --> 00:24:24,212 Why did you stop the jazz music? 429 00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:28,216 Was it not pleasant for you? 430 00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:31,261 No one plays jazz here at The Pit Stop, okay? 431 00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:34,013 So why is the song on the jukebox? 432 00:24:34,181 --> 00:24:37,350 We keep it on there for profiling purposes. 433 00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:40,645 We also got the Pet Shop Boys and Seal. 434 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:44,274 My name is Jean Girard... 435 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:48,069 ...and I am a racing-car driver just like you... 436 00:24:48,237 --> 00:24:51,281 ...except I am from Formula Un. 437 00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:55,869 I am the greatest one in the whole world. 438 00:24:56,036 --> 00:25:01,583 I have been following your career with great interest, Monsieur Bobby. 439 00:25:01,750 --> 00:25:04,169 I can't understand a word you've said the whole time. 440 00:25:04,336 --> 00:25:06,171 Did you eat peanut butter or something? 441 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:09,340 You sound like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of your mouth. 442 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:13,094 I think what you are hearing is my accent. 443 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,847 I am French. 444 00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:17,640 You say you're French? 445 00:25:18,475 --> 00:25:21,644 We? No, we are not French. 446 00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:24,939 We're American, because you're in America, okay? 447 00:25:25,107 --> 00:25:26,691 Greatest country on the planet. 448 00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,693 Well, what have you given the world... 449 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:33,031 ...apart from George Bush, Cheerios, and the ThighMaster? 450 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,116 - Chinese food? - Chinese food. 451 00:25:35,284 --> 00:25:36,534 That's from China. 452 00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:38,870 - Pizza. - Italy. 453 00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:41,623 - Chimichanga. - Mexican. 454 00:25:41,790 --> 00:25:44,375 Really, smarty-pants? What did French land give us? 455 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:48,796 We invented democracy, existentialism... 456 00:25:48,964 --> 00:25:50,173 ...and the blowjob. 457 00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:53,301 - Those are three pretty good things. - Hey. 458 00:25:53,469 --> 00:25:55,053 Well, that last one's pretty cool. 459 00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:59,974 You know, the 69 with the head near the-- That bit. 460 00:26:00,142 --> 00:26:01,351 We came up with it. 461 00:26:01,518 --> 00:26:03,978 We created the missionary position. 462 00:26:04,146 --> 00:26:07,815 - You're welcome. - Ricky Bobby... 463 00:26:07,983 --> 00:26:11,027 ...I have come here to defeat you. 464 00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:14,030 Oh, well, there's strikes two and three right there. 465 00:26:14,657 --> 00:26:16,282 Did you hear what he just said? 466 00:26:17,493 --> 00:26:19,786 Well, welcome to America, amigo. 467 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,835 You are fast, Ricky Bobby... 468 00:26:28,545 --> 00:26:30,255 ...but I am faster. 469 00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:34,175 All right, you let go of me, you Formula One jazz nutjob! 470 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,886 Like the frightened baby chipmunk... 471 00:26:37,054 --> 00:26:39,889 ...you are scared by anything that is different. 472 00:26:40,057 --> 00:26:42,392 I will let you go, Ricky... 473 00:26:42,559 --> 00:26:46,854 ...but first I want you to say: 474 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:51,776 "I love crêpes." 475 00:26:52,403 --> 00:26:55,446 Don't you say it, Ricky. These colors don't run. 476 00:26:55,614 --> 00:26:57,282 - I'm not gonna say it. - Good. 477 00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:59,659 Hey, look, Frenchy, I thought about it. 478 00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:02,078 So why don't you go ahead and break my arm? 479 00:27:02,246 --> 00:27:05,373 I do not want to break your arm, Monsieur Bobby... 480 00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:07,166 ...but I am a man of my word. 481 00:27:07,334 --> 00:27:09,419 Here's the deal. He's not gonna break it... 482 00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:12,046 ...because I'm gonna slip out of it right now. Houdini. 483 00:27:12,214 --> 00:27:13,506 Get down, you little pancake. 484 00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:15,258 Someone get me a beer while I'm here. 485 00:27:15,426 --> 00:27:17,677 But you have forced me to do this. 486 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:20,596 You are now mocking me and making me look ridiculous. 487 00:27:20,764 --> 00:27:22,432 Just say, "I love crêpes." 488 00:27:22,599 --> 00:27:26,561 You know, just to put this in there, I had a whole mess of crêpes this morning. 489 00:27:26,729 --> 00:27:28,521 They're like pancakes, maybe even better. 490 00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:31,441 - Are they the really thin pancakes? - Yeah. 491 00:27:31,608 --> 00:27:34,652 They are the really thin pancakes. It's just a French word for them. 492 00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,363 - My God, I love those. - Put any syrups you want on them. 493 00:27:37,531 --> 00:27:40,408 - I'm saying, think about it. - They come with cheese sometimes? 494 00:27:40,576 --> 00:27:42,327 Yes, of course, a fromage-crêpe. 495 00:27:42,536 --> 00:27:44,579 Well, why didn't someone yell that right away? 496 00:27:44,747 --> 00:27:46,414 You know what's in the crêpe suzette? 497 00:27:46,582 --> 00:27:48,708 - Oh, I love the crêpe suzette. - With the sugar... 498 00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:51,586 - ...and lemon juice, Grand Marnier. - Sugar and lemon juice. 499 00:27:51,795 --> 00:27:54,172 I wish I could crawl into one of those right now. 500 00:27:54,340 --> 00:27:58,051 - I'd eat my way out from the inside. - They are tasty. 501 00:27:58,218 --> 00:28:00,762 Either way this goes, could we get some after we're done? 502 00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:03,598 - Absolutely. We're gonna do that. - So, what if you just said: 503 00:28:03,766 --> 00:28:08,061 "I love really thin pancakes"? That is a fair compromise, no? 504 00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:10,396 - That is a fair compromise. - Very fair, actually. 505 00:28:10,564 --> 00:28:13,274 No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes. 506 00:28:13,442 --> 00:28:15,026 That's a pretty good compromise. 507 00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:18,112 Why do you want me to break your arm so badly? 508 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,449 You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. 509 00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:23,451 You don't understand freedom. 510 00:28:23,619 --> 00:28:27,372 So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell. 511 00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:30,625 Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? 512 00:28:30,793 --> 00:28:32,960 I mean, forget all these other guys. 513 00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,922 But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call. 514 00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:37,799 What do you think? 515 00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:40,385 - Don't say it. - Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. 516 00:28:40,594 --> 00:28:42,053 Break it, Pepé Le Pew. 517 00:28:42,429 --> 00:28:43,679 As you wish. 518 00:28:46,809 --> 00:28:51,020 - He actually did it! - All right. You did it. Back off. 519 00:28:51,230 --> 00:28:53,064 - I didn't say it! - No, you did not. 520 00:28:53,232 --> 00:28:56,651 Your injury is one of ignorance and pride. 521 00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:01,489 Hold it right there, Mr. Fancy Pants Foreigner. 522 00:29:01,657 --> 00:29:03,116 You just broke my bro's arm. 523 00:29:03,283 --> 00:29:04,909 Now you're about to get Tasered. 524 00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:09,038 - Say hello to Dr. Watts. - Get him, Cal. 525 00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:13,334 I need you all to step away... 526 00:29:13,502 --> 00:29:14,877 ...from my driver. 527 00:29:15,045 --> 00:29:18,005 The hell you talking about, "my driver"? What are you doing with a gun? 528 00:29:18,173 --> 00:29:20,716 Don't you worry about my gun, Ricky. 529 00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:23,845 Jean Girard is my new boy at Dennit Racing. He's here to win us... 530 00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:26,764 ...an overall-points championship, something you apparently... 531 00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:29,517 ...have no interest in. He's gonna usher in a new era. 532 00:29:29,685 --> 00:29:31,436 Mr. Dennit, with all due respect-- 533 00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:33,896 And remember, I'm saying, "with all due respect." 534 00:29:34,064 --> 00:29:38,443 that idea ain't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on. 535 00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,863 That's good. That's good fun. That's good fun, Ricky... 536 00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:44,991 ...but that doesn't bother me anymore because Jean is the future... 537 00:29:45,159 --> 00:29:46,576 ...Ricky, the past. 538 00:29:46,743 --> 00:29:48,995 So, Jean, introduce me to your new teammates. 539 00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:53,833 Everybody, this is my husband, Gregory. 540 00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:55,501 What? 541 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:58,254 See you at the track. 542 00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:00,339 Did he just say "husband"? 543 00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:04,969 Sweet Lord. Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate. 544 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,472 The room's starting to spin real fast. 545 00:30:08,223 --> 00:30:11,058 Because of gayness. 546 00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:16,063 - Cal, I love you. - Ricky? Ricky! Oh, God! 547 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:30,036 Fans and NASCAR, everyone is talking about this new driver, Jean Girard. 548 00:30:30,204 --> 00:30:33,706 Let's find out a little bit more about him from our reporter, Davey Wesling. 549 00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:37,627 Talented. Eccentric. Dominating. 550 00:30:37,794 --> 00:30:41,172 These are the words that define Jean Girard. 551 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:46,260 Before each race, Jean Girard spends time with his world-class horses... 552 00:30:46,428 --> 00:30:48,513 ...who are also gay. 553 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,182 Jean's days are filled with sun-drenched walks... 554 00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:53,601 ...with his beloved husband, Gregory. 555 00:30:54,561 --> 00:30:57,271 Though Gregory is no stay-at-home spouse. 556 00:30:57,439 --> 00:31:00,441 He's a world-class trainer of German shepherds. 557 00:31:00,609 --> 00:31:02,902 Rolfe, the Nazi boyfriend. Up on top! 558 00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,365 Very nice. Very nice. 559 00:31:07,950 --> 00:31:11,702 Only time will tell if Jean's foray into NASCAR... 560 00:31:11,870 --> 00:31:13,955 ...will end up in Victory Lane. 561 00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:36,852 Well, kiss my ass on Sunday. 562 00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:40,022 - Lucius, what the hell is going on? - The man can drive. 563 00:31:40,232 --> 00:31:42,066 And check out his crew chief over there. 564 00:31:42,234 --> 00:31:44,485 Won the Nobel Prize for physics back in '93. 565 00:31:44,653 --> 00:31:47,655 Ladies and gentlemen, that is a new track record. 566 00:31:47,823 --> 00:31:51,450 As it stands now, Jean Girard is sitting on the pole, which is, of course... 567 00:31:51,618 --> 00:31:53,869 ...a statement of fact and in no way a comment... 568 00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:55,913 ...on the driver's sexual orientation. 569 00:31:56,081 --> 00:31:58,874 Put a smile on your face? That's the future of Dennit Racing. 570 00:31:59,042 --> 00:32:01,460 - That make you happy? - I'm just thrilled, Mr. Dennit. 571 00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:03,754 I love seeing some French guy break my record... 572 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,799 ...while I got my arm wrapped up like a fricking gordita. 573 00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,551 Hello, Ricky Bobby. 574 00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:13,973 What happened last week was very regrettable and unfortunate... 575 00:32:14,850 --> 00:32:17,810 ...and, as a gesture, I would like to... 576 00:32:17,978 --> 00:32:19,437 ...sign your cast, please. 577 00:32:19,605 --> 00:32:22,273 Hell, you know what, get my car off the trailer, guys. 578 00:32:22,441 --> 00:32:24,108 Baby! That's my baby! 579 00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,486 Hold on, Ricky. Ricky, Ricky, Rick. What are you talking about? 580 00:32:27,654 --> 00:32:31,282 Look. I wanna drive. My arm's fine. So let's get the car off the trailer. 581 00:32:31,450 --> 00:32:33,576 Don't look at me. Get it off the trailer! 582 00:32:33,744 --> 00:32:37,997 Even with a healthy arm, you don't have a chance against Jean Girard. 583 00:32:38,165 --> 00:32:41,000 All right, fellas. You heard the man. Get the car off. Let's go. 584 00:32:41,168 --> 00:32:42,543 You guys heard it. 585 00:32:43,295 --> 00:32:46,380 - What's going on? - Soon you will know what it is like... 586 00:32:46,548 --> 00:32:51,177 ...to be defeated by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. 587 00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:56,766 As William Blake wrote, "The cut worm forgives the plow." 588 00:32:56,933 --> 00:32:59,852 Well, let me just quote the late, great Colonel Sanders... 589 00:33:00,020 --> 00:33:03,606 ...who said, "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken." 590 00:33:03,774 --> 00:33:05,691 What's that got to do with this? 591 00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:09,570 I got a message for all of them. Ready? Shake and Bake! 592 00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:13,199 What does that do? Does that blow your mind? That just happened! 593 00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:16,702 What is that, a catch phrase or is that epilepsy? 594 00:33:16,870 --> 00:33:19,413 - Shake and Bake. Shake and Bake. - What? 595 00:33:19,581 --> 00:33:24,335 Listen, you better be careful because tomorrow you're going to get beaten. 596 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,629 Beaten real bad, cowboy. 597 00:33:26,797 --> 00:33:28,214 - Really? - Yes! 598 00:33:28,382 --> 00:33:30,549 - I don't want to know. - That's news to me. 599 00:33:30,717 --> 00:33:34,011 - Tomorrow you'll be in trouble. - I'll rip you a new one. 600 00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:37,473 There's going to be a croissant I'm going to take away. 601 00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:38,891 I play for keeps! 602 00:33:39,518 --> 00:33:42,186 I give you one option, Monsieur Bobby. 603 00:33:42,354 --> 00:33:45,564 As a sign of humility, if you kiss me on the lips now... 604 00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:49,360 ...I will return to Paris and you will never see me again in NASCAR. 605 00:33:49,528 --> 00:33:50,945 The answer is never! 606 00:33:51,113 --> 00:33:53,823 - I close my-- - Do you hear me? Never ever! 607 00:33:53,990 --> 00:33:56,742 - Well, yes or no? - That's sick. 608 00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:02,498 Let me tell you, hold on. Shake and Bake. 609 00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:03,958 Yeah! 610 00:34:04,126 --> 00:34:05,960 What does that mean? It makes no sense! 611 00:34:06,128 --> 00:34:07,920 This "Shake and Bake," it's nonsense. 612 00:34:08,088 --> 00:34:11,424 - Hey, baby. You guys are so smooth. - Thanks, darling. 613 00:34:11,591 --> 00:34:14,635 Cal, you could say that 10,000 times and it still wouldn't be enough. 614 00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:17,054 - It fires me up. - I love it. Say it one more time. 615 00:34:17,222 --> 00:34:19,223 - Shake and Bake! - Doesn't that feel good? 616 00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:23,477 Yeah! It rhymes, they're both verbs. It's awesome. 617 00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:49,003 NASCAR on Fox welcomes you to Lowe's Motor Speedway... 618 00:34:49,171 --> 00:34:51,714 ...where tonight we'll go 500 miles. 619 00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:56,177 The big stories tonight are at both ends of the grid. 620 00:34:56,344 --> 00:35:00,723 Up front, Larry, the surprising French Formula One driver, Jean Girard. 621 00:35:01,683 --> 00:35:05,102 And at the opposite end of the grid, Darrell, Ricky Bobby. 622 00:35:05,270 --> 00:35:08,439 I saw Ricky Bobby last night walking around with a cast on his arm. 623 00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:11,525 Now, I don't know who he conned into letting him start this race. 624 00:35:11,693 --> 00:35:13,527 Just keep a camera on him all night long. 625 00:35:15,113 --> 00:35:16,530 I am so excited. 626 00:35:16,698 --> 00:35:19,366 This is a new era for Dennit Racing, huh? 627 00:35:19,534 --> 00:35:24,413 So serious all the time about your big race team. 628 00:35:24,581 --> 00:35:28,167 - Who cares? - But this is my life. This is my life. 629 00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:31,879 You know what? There's only one good thing about coming to the races... 630 00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:35,883 ...and that is the vibrations from the cars. 631 00:35:36,051 --> 00:35:39,929 Oh, I love when them cars whiz by. 632 00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:43,724 Can feel the motor... 633 00:35:43,892 --> 00:35:46,143 ...running up my legs. 634 00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:51,190 Ricky Bobby, who never met a sponsor he wouldn't push... 635 00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:53,400 ...has a Fig Newton sticker on his windshield. 636 00:35:53,568 --> 00:35:55,402 Think NASCAR will black-flag him for that. 637 00:35:55,570 --> 00:35:56,987 He sold the windshield! 638 00:35:57,155 --> 00:36:00,908 This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient, but I love Fig Newtons. 639 00:36:02,410 --> 00:36:04,495 Ricky Bobby started this race in the back... 640 00:36:04,663 --> 00:36:07,081 ...but he's making no friends on the way to the front. 641 00:36:07,249 --> 00:36:10,918 I'm all about getting to the front tonight, Lucius. Let's go! Let's move it! 642 00:36:11,086 --> 00:36:13,003 Well, he's driving like a man possessed. 643 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:17,007 I'm not even sure he realizes how much damage he's doing to his car. 644 00:36:19,636 --> 00:36:24,223 Hey, Ricky. You know you're driving like a pissed-off teenager, okay? 645 00:36:24,391 --> 00:36:26,100 Where is that Frenchy? 646 00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:32,314 I got you, Pepé Le Bitch. 647 00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:35,734 Oh, Ricky Bobby. 648 00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:39,488 Hey, it's me, America. 649 00:36:43,618 --> 00:36:45,119 Yeah, I'm here. 650 00:36:45,287 --> 00:36:47,788 You have spilled my macchiato. 651 00:36:49,416 --> 00:36:50,791 Look at Girard in the 55. 652 00:36:50,959 --> 00:36:54,837 He's made that car three lanes wide, but he's still fast. 653 00:36:55,005 --> 00:36:58,799 No, no, no, my friend. This way also closed. Not this way. 654 00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,511 Lucius, what's he doing? He's everywhere at once. 655 00:37:02,679 --> 00:37:05,139 Guy's dangerous, Ricky. He's like a cobra. Back off! 656 00:37:05,307 --> 00:37:07,349 Where's Cal? I need a little support here! 657 00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:11,103 Tell Ricky I'm on my way. 658 00:37:16,651 --> 00:37:18,235 Damn it! 659 00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,154 Hey, Ricky, listen. 660 00:37:20,322 --> 00:37:26,243 Cal blew out his engine. You have no backup. Back off! 661 00:37:26,411 --> 00:37:29,663 I ain't backing off. I'm Ricky Bobby, I'm the best there is. 662 00:37:29,831 --> 00:37:32,583 He's too good, Ricky. Lay off! 663 00:37:33,418 --> 00:37:35,461 Bobby's boxed in. There's nowhere to go there. 664 00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:41,425 He's gonna try the outside move again. I don't know if it's gonna work. 665 00:37:41,593 --> 00:37:43,260 Come on, Daddy! 666 00:37:43,428 --> 00:37:45,137 Come on, Daddy! Whoop his butt! 667 00:37:45,305 --> 00:37:47,932 Send that weird man back to Indonesia. 668 00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:53,646 - Come on! - Bobby moves to the outside. 669 00:37:53,813 --> 00:37:55,481 Not a lot of room. He's in the wall! 670 00:37:55,649 --> 00:37:57,900 Bobby is sliding, slamming into the wall. 671 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:05,866 He's airborne! 672 00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:10,371 Yep. I'm flying through the air. This is not good. 673 00:38:10,538 --> 00:38:13,248 - Ricky! - Cool! 674 00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:24,134 Ricky! 675 00:38:31,184 --> 00:38:32,643 Peaches and cream! 676 00:38:36,106 --> 00:38:38,732 The car comes to rest in a big cloud of smoke. 677 00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,818 Ricky Bobby appears to be okay... 678 00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:43,404 ...but that Wonder Bread car is toast. 679 00:38:43,571 --> 00:38:45,322 Fantastic. 680 00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:48,158 Oh, my God! Ricky! 681 00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:51,578 Hakuna matata, bitches. 682 00:38:57,961 --> 00:39:00,963 It's okay, guys, it's just a wreck. Ricky can handle it. 683 00:39:01,131 --> 00:39:04,466 Now, that's one of the nastiest wrecks you'll ever see. 684 00:39:04,634 --> 00:39:06,844 Oh, no, no, no. 685 00:39:07,012 --> 00:39:09,013 It's all right. You're safe. 686 00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:11,140 - You're safe. - We got you. We're here. 687 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,725 I'm on fire. 688 00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:15,144 It's all right. It's all right, you're not on fire! 689 00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:19,106 - You're lying! I'm on fire! - There is no fire. 690 00:39:19,274 --> 00:39:21,900 - I'm on fire. I don't wanna die. - Come back here. 691 00:39:22,068 --> 00:39:25,738 But something looks wrong. I mean, he's running around like he's on fire. 692 00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:29,616 Oh, my God! Help me! I don't wanna die! Stop, drop, and roll! 693 00:39:29,784 --> 00:39:33,245 - You're not on fire, Ricky Bobby! - I'm on fire! 694 00:39:33,413 --> 00:39:34,913 You're not on fire. 695 00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:38,292 But I'm not even sure he even knows where he's at right now. 696 00:39:38,460 --> 00:39:43,422 This makes us all realize the kind of pressure these drivers are under. 697 00:39:43,590 --> 00:39:45,090 Mr. Bobby, come on down here. 698 00:39:45,258 --> 00:39:48,927 Help me, Jesus! Help me, Jewish God! 699 00:39:49,095 --> 00:39:50,512 Help me, Allah! 700 00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:53,348 Help me, Tom Cruise! 701 00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:56,143 But how did he get down to his underwear that fast? 702 00:39:56,311 --> 00:39:59,521 Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me! 703 00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:01,106 Look. Here, help's coming. 704 00:40:01,274 --> 00:40:03,025 - Wait a minute! - It's Cal Naughton. 705 00:40:04,110 --> 00:40:07,571 Oh, God! Please don't let the invisible fire burn my friend! 706 00:40:08,615 --> 00:40:12,117 I got you! I got you, man! I'll help you! 707 00:40:12,285 --> 00:40:15,996 He's jumping on Ricky, trying to put the nonexistent fire out. 708 00:40:16,164 --> 00:40:17,790 Now, that's a teammate right there. 709 00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:19,500 This is going downhill fast. 710 00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:22,628 It would be a great time to go to commercial break. 711 00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:24,922 Help me, Oprah Winfrey! 712 00:40:26,508 --> 00:40:30,719 You know, Larry, there's good days in racing, and there's bad days. 713 00:40:30,887 --> 00:40:34,181 Ricky Bobby just had himself a bad day. 714 00:40:42,482 --> 00:40:44,149 He's suffering from catatonic shock. 715 00:40:44,317 --> 00:40:47,903 His injuries are minor, but right now he can't deal with the trauma of the wreck. 716 00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:51,198 Golly, this is a hard decision. 717 00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:56,286 But I have thought about it, and I want the plug pulled. 718 00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:57,871 Yeah. 719 00:40:58,039 --> 00:41:00,332 Ma'am, your husband's not dying. 720 00:41:00,500 --> 00:41:02,835 He's just taking a nap. 721 00:41:03,336 --> 00:41:05,212 - Just look at him. - No, I'm not lying. 722 00:41:05,380 --> 00:41:07,714 I've never seen him make that noise. Ever. 723 00:41:09,050 --> 00:41:11,343 Got more plugs in him than a Circuit City. 724 00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:16,181 Oh, baby. Mama loves you so much. 725 00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:20,561 Hey, Ricky. It's me, Cal. 726 00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:25,065 Just want you to know, I got your back, bro. No matter what. 727 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,402 There's something I want to get off my chest... 728 00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:32,447 ...and it's about that summer when you went away to community college. 729 00:41:32,615 --> 00:41:36,201 I got a offer to do Playgirl magazine... 730 00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:38,871 ...and I did it. 731 00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:42,249 I did a full spread for Playgirl magazine. 732 00:41:42,876 --> 00:41:46,753 I mean spread, man. I pulled my butt apart and stuff... 733 00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:51,175 ...and I was totally nude, and it was weird. 734 00:41:51,342 --> 00:41:53,093 You probably didn't hear about it... 735 00:41:53,261 --> 00:41:55,637 ...because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. 736 00:41:55,805 --> 00:41:57,556 But I just wanted you to know that. 737 00:41:57,724 --> 00:42:01,560 If you could hear me, if it got into your brain somehow... 738 00:42:01,728 --> 00:42:03,937 ...that I spread my butt cheeks as Mike Honcho. 739 00:42:04,105 --> 00:42:06,982 "Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. 740 00:42:07,150 --> 00:42:11,111 Gretchen, my friend, got her period. I'm so jealous, God. 741 00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:14,239 I hate myself for being so jealous, but I am. 742 00:42:14,407 --> 00:42:16,617 I wish you'd help me just a little. 743 00:42:16,784 --> 00:42:21,288 Nancy's sure she's going to get it soon too. And if I'm last..." 744 00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:24,625 Hey, Ricky. Ricky! 745 00:42:24,918 --> 00:42:26,793 Come on, man, wake up. 746 00:42:26,961 --> 00:42:28,754 Are you faking it? 747 00:42:31,633 --> 00:42:35,385 Are you faking it? Fake it! 748 00:42:39,974 --> 00:42:43,560 I don't know how much longer I can take seeing you like this. 749 00:42:44,187 --> 00:42:48,106 I am not gonna let you die here... 750 00:42:48,274 --> 00:42:50,192 ...like some kind of vegetable. 751 00:42:50,568 --> 00:42:52,778 I'm gonna put an end to this right now. 752 00:42:52,946 --> 00:42:54,655 Get all this crap off you. 753 00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:56,907 You don't need any of this crap. 754 00:42:59,702 --> 00:43:02,246 This is it. This is how it ends. 755 00:43:02,413 --> 00:43:03,997 This is how Shake and Bake ends. 756 00:43:04,540 --> 00:43:06,833 It's shadow time, buddy. 757 00:43:09,545 --> 00:43:11,922 It's time to go home to Jesus. 758 00:43:12,757 --> 00:43:14,508 Goodbye, buddy. 759 00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,514 Oh, wow, you definitely-- 760 00:43:20,682 --> 00:43:23,141 You definitely still got some fight in you. 761 00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:27,729 Okay, maybe we give this another day. 762 00:43:28,564 --> 00:43:31,608 Middle. I'll go up to the middle. Let's play some defense! 763 00:43:33,486 --> 00:43:36,571 I just wanna say thanks, doc, for taking care of our boy here. 764 00:43:36,739 --> 00:43:39,908 - Oh, shit. - That's a foul! That's a foul! 765 00:43:40,076 --> 00:43:41,493 Doc, give it to me straight. 766 00:43:41,661 --> 00:43:43,996 Is he ever gonna be able to walk again? 767 00:43:44,163 --> 00:43:47,040 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought someone had told you. He's fine. 768 00:43:47,208 --> 00:43:48,959 He found that wheelchair in the hallway. 769 00:43:49,127 --> 00:43:52,045 His paralysis is entirely psychosomatic. 770 00:43:52,213 --> 00:43:55,882 But we all need to go along with this, because he's in a delicate state. 771 00:43:56,050 --> 00:43:59,594 So when you say psychosomatic, you mean, like... 772 00:43:59,762 --> 00:44:02,222 ...he could start a fire with his thoughts? 773 00:44:02,390 --> 00:44:04,391 No, not at all. It means it's all in his mind. 774 00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:08,270 I'm saying, sometimes you get a knock on the head, you get special powers. 775 00:44:08,438 --> 00:44:10,897 It happens all the time. Read a comic book, okay? 776 00:44:11,065 --> 00:44:12,524 Everyone's real friendly. 777 00:44:12,692 --> 00:44:15,736 It doesn't hurt being Ricky Bobby. I'm not gonna lie to you. 778 00:44:15,903 --> 00:44:17,571 So how's the physical therapy going? 779 00:44:17,739 --> 00:44:20,615 Oh, I gave that up. Yeah, I gave that up... 780 00:44:20,783 --> 00:44:23,910 ...after maybe the first day. Within the first hour, I gave that up. 781 00:44:24,078 --> 00:44:26,121 I'm through lying to myself, you know? 782 00:44:26,289 --> 00:44:29,750 It's time to be mature about this and just face facts. 783 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,419 I bought myself a hundred-thousand-dollar... 784 00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:33,920 ...handicap-accessible van... 785 00:44:34,088 --> 00:44:37,841 ...with the captain's chairs and the DVD plasma screens in the back for the kids. 786 00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:40,552 - You all paid up on that? - Yeah. That's all paid in full. 787 00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:43,722 It's parked out there. And then the next thing I gotta do... 788 00:44:43,890 --> 00:44:47,851 ...is I just gotta have a sit-down with Carley and just let her know... 789 00:44:49,270 --> 00:44:54,024 ...that it's okay for her to seek the comfort of other men. 790 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:58,278 Because she's gotta run wild. You can't keep something like that back. 791 00:44:58,529 --> 00:44:59,946 Hold on, man. Hold... 792 00:45:00,448 --> 00:45:02,324 - We gotta tell him. - Now? 793 00:45:02,492 --> 00:45:05,285 No, I don't care what the doctor said, we gotta tell him now. 794 00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:07,079 Ricky, the doctor told us... 795 00:45:07,246 --> 00:45:10,040 ...that we should let you work it out in your own sweet time... 796 00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:11,583 ...but, Ricky, you can walk. 797 00:45:11,751 --> 00:45:13,460 What did you just say? 798 00:45:13,628 --> 00:45:16,797 He's telling you the truth, man. It's all in your head. 799 00:45:19,467 --> 00:45:22,552 You sick sons of bitches! 800 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:24,554 I mean, you walk in that door... 801 00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:28,141 ...on your two legs, all fat and cocky... 802 00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:32,896 ...and looking at me in my chair, and you tell me it's all in my head? 803 00:45:33,064 --> 00:45:35,065 I hope that both of you have sons. 804 00:45:35,233 --> 00:45:40,237 Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons who are talented and star athletes... 805 00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:42,280 ...and they have their legs taken away! 806 00:45:42,448 --> 00:45:44,408 I pray you know that pain and that hurt. 807 00:45:44,617 --> 00:45:46,910 Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! 808 00:45:47,078 --> 00:45:51,498 Don't you put that on us! You are not paralyzed! 809 00:45:51,666 --> 00:45:53,417 I am so paralyzed! 810 00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:57,045 - No, no, no! No, he needs to know! - Getting a little rough on him. 811 00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:59,673 - He's always crying! - Tough love, it is. Tough love. 812 00:45:59,841 --> 00:46:02,509 - Wake up, idiot! - You wanna know what I am?! 813 00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:05,178 You wanna see what my life is?! 814 00:46:05,346 --> 00:46:06,596 Don't do it. 815 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:10,976 - You wanna see what's going on here? - Don't you stick that knife in your leg. 816 00:46:19,318 --> 00:46:22,028 - Man! - Hold on, hold on. 817 00:46:23,197 --> 00:46:25,532 - Hold on, now. Walk it off. - Oh, that hurts. 818 00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,033 - Oh, my--! - Walk it off. 819 00:46:27,201 --> 00:46:29,035 Stretch, stretch. Stretch it out. 820 00:46:29,203 --> 00:46:31,705 Hey, man. You can walk! You can walk! 821 00:46:31,873 --> 00:46:33,457 I can walk! 822 00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,543 - I think I touched a nerve. - Right there. 823 00:46:36,711 --> 00:46:39,463 All right, we got it, we got it. Hold it right there. 824 00:46:39,630 --> 00:46:40,964 Maybe don't touch it. 825 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:43,049 - Can you feel it? - I can! 826 00:46:43,217 --> 00:46:45,635 We'll use this knife to pry it out. We'll pull it out. 827 00:46:45,803 --> 00:46:48,388 - Now we got two in there. - Just don't think about it. 828 00:46:48,556 --> 00:46:50,891 - We're going down a bad path. - Cut around the meat. 829 00:46:51,058 --> 00:46:52,767 I'll cut right here. Stretch it out. 830 00:46:52,935 --> 00:46:55,228 Just take out a plug of meat. Just like a deer. 831 00:46:55,396 --> 00:46:58,190 We gotta wiggle it a little bit. That's it. Can you feel that? 832 00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,192 - Yeah, I feel that. - You are back! 833 00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,985 I love you guys! 834 00:47:02,612 --> 00:47:06,281 Hey, I'm sorry, guys. I mean, I hope your boys don't lose their legs. 835 00:47:06,449 --> 00:47:09,743 - Thanks, buddy. - So when do I get to drive again? 836 00:47:09,911 --> 00:47:12,954 Well, that's the thing. The doctor said you suffered major trauma... 837 00:47:13,122 --> 00:47:15,457 ...and he thinks you should take it slow for a while. 838 00:47:15,625 --> 00:47:19,419 Yeah, so, I was thinking, like, while you're resting up and stuff... 839 00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:22,547 - ...maybe you could let me win a few. - Well, there you go. 840 00:47:22,715 --> 00:47:24,591 Yeah, that ain't gonna happen. 841 00:47:25,051 --> 00:47:28,011 Yeah. I'm Ricky Bobby. I mean, you know how I play it. 842 00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:30,388 - Yeah. - First or last, right, baby? 843 00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:32,974 - Don't know what I was thinking. - Besides... 844 00:47:33,142 --> 00:47:36,019 ...Dennit Jr. must be freaking out. All the money he's losing? 845 00:47:36,187 --> 00:47:37,771 Without me on the track? 846 00:47:37,939 --> 00:47:39,189 I mean, I just laugh... 847 00:47:39,357 --> 00:47:42,317 ...thinking about him whining all the time, bitching and moaning: 848 00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:44,569 "Damn, I wish Ricky was here." 849 00:47:44,737 --> 00:47:46,279 You know what I mean? 850 00:47:50,117 --> 00:47:52,160 What? 851 00:47:52,328 --> 00:47:54,788 Frenchy can drive. 852 00:47:58,501 --> 00:47:59,918 Oh, no. 853 00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:29,573 Very good. 854 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,908 C'est la vie and que sera, sera. 855 00:48:32,076 --> 00:48:35,120 It looks like the NASCAR has gone French. 856 00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:37,038 Well, in other news, Ricky Bobby... 857 00:48:37,206 --> 00:48:40,333 ...is going to be running some test laps this weekend at Rockingham... 858 00:48:40,501 --> 00:48:42,794 ...in an attempt to come back from his grisly crash. 859 00:48:44,338 --> 00:48:46,423 It's one of the hardest things to do in racing. 860 00:48:46,591 --> 00:48:49,301 To try to bounce back after a devastating, violent wreck. 861 00:48:49,468 --> 00:48:51,928 Ricky Bobby was traumatized during the incident. 862 00:48:52,096 --> 00:48:53,388 All right, baby. Come on, now. 863 00:48:53,556 --> 00:48:56,933 But today he gets to strap back into a racecar for the first time since... 864 00:48:57,101 --> 00:48:59,269 ...to try to show he can still get the job done. 865 00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:02,689 - He's gonna be great. Yep. - He's gonna be great, sure. 866 00:49:02,857 --> 00:49:05,650 Would you stop staring at me like that, Susan? I swear... 867 00:49:05,818 --> 00:49:08,320 ...you are the weirdest little girl I've ever seen. 868 00:49:08,487 --> 00:49:11,197 Okay, I'm really gonna open it up! 869 00:49:14,368 --> 00:49:17,454 I missed you, Mama Speed. Ricky Bobby's back. 870 00:49:17,622 --> 00:49:19,372 Wait, how fast is he going? 871 00:49:19,540 --> 00:49:21,166 Twenty-six miles an hour. 872 00:49:23,628 --> 00:49:27,005 What were those things? Were those the other cars? 873 00:49:32,428 --> 00:49:34,929 Oh, God. So fast. 874 00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:36,890 Go, baby! There you are. 875 00:49:37,141 --> 00:49:38,850 Am I on fire? I'm on fire. 876 00:49:39,018 --> 00:49:41,019 - No, no, you're not on fire. - Stretch it out. 877 00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:42,812 - It's okay, baby. - Take it easy. 878 00:49:44,398 --> 00:49:47,067 - Oh, God, I'm gonna get sick. - Oh, God. 879 00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:51,071 - Oh, he's in his underwear again. - Ricky! Please put your clothes on. 880 00:49:51,238 --> 00:49:53,573 He's in his underwear again. Go get him, fellas. 881 00:49:53,741 --> 00:49:54,991 Oh, Lord. 882 00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:58,036 You know who's gonna be number one at Dennit Racing? 883 00:49:58,788 --> 00:50:01,539 - Not Ricky? - I'm gonna windmill you. 884 00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:04,584 Mr. Cal Naughton Jr. 885 00:50:04,752 --> 00:50:07,420 - Come back at him. It's the only way. - Who are you? 886 00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:09,255 - Number one. - No. 887 00:50:09,423 --> 00:50:12,926 - Oh, yes, ma'am. - Ricky! Come on, man! 888 00:50:13,094 --> 00:50:14,511 It's embarrassing. 889 00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:18,556 The ninjas are trying to get me. The ninjas are trying to get me. 890 00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:20,475 - Oh, my God. - What happened? 891 00:50:20,643 --> 00:50:23,103 What happened? He's done. He's done. 892 00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:25,814 That's what's happened. It's over. He's finished. 893 00:50:26,065 --> 00:50:27,607 What's gonna happen to me? 894 00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,819 I feel like I was riding inside an asteroid or a comet or something. 895 00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,029 Yeah, you were going fast. 896 00:50:33,197 --> 00:50:35,281 - Look at that. - What are we gonna do? 897 00:50:35,449 --> 00:50:38,076 This is ugly. This is bad for all of us. Look at that. 898 00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:41,204 - I gotta go check on cuckoo bird. - No, cuckoo's okay. 899 00:50:41,372 --> 00:50:44,124 Why don't you get over there and settle down Carley for me? 900 00:50:44,291 --> 00:50:46,376 - Could you do that for me? - Yes, sir. 901 00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:48,086 There you go. 902 00:50:49,296 --> 00:50:51,381 What began as a day of hope and optimism... 903 00:50:51,549 --> 00:50:54,884 ...for Ricky Bobby and his race team has ended here in sad disappointment. 904 00:50:55,052 --> 00:50:56,302 There we go, boy. 905 00:50:56,470 --> 00:50:58,346 - I lost all muscle control. - Yeah, you did. 906 00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:01,975 - He just lost his muscle control is all. - I lost my muscle control. 907 00:51:02,643 --> 00:51:05,520 He's fine. He just can't control the muscles. 908 00:51:15,030 --> 00:51:17,490 - Thanks for the lift, Hershell. - Yeah, no problem. 909 00:51:23,330 --> 00:51:24,748 Jenga! 910 00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:28,001 I love you, Cal. 911 00:51:29,503 --> 00:51:31,838 - Good one, kiddo. - What the hell's going on? 912 00:51:32,006 --> 00:51:34,132 Hey, Ricky, nice of you to stop by for a visit. 913 00:51:34,300 --> 00:51:37,177 What do you mean, a visit? This is my house. 914 00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:38,845 Baby... 915 00:51:39,013 --> 00:51:41,181 ...shoot. I'm so sorry. 916 00:51:41,348 --> 00:51:43,641 I really-- I didn't want it to be this way. 917 00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:46,227 Hey, what happened to the family portrait? 918 00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:49,147 You just crudely pasted your face over mine. 919 00:51:49,315 --> 00:51:51,191 We're getting married, Ricky. 920 00:51:51,358 --> 00:51:53,860 And we're getting matching leprechaun tattoos. 921 00:51:54,028 --> 00:51:55,987 Isn't that cute? With a little pot of gold. 922 00:51:56,155 --> 00:51:58,364 Is this some kind of joke? You guys putting me on? 923 00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:02,660 I was gone three hours. Dennit just fired me from the team. 924 00:52:03,287 --> 00:52:04,704 Ricky, you and I... 925 00:52:04,872 --> 00:52:08,458 ...we both know that this marriage has been over for a long, long time. 926 00:52:08,667 --> 00:52:11,586 No! I honestly did not know that! 927 00:52:11,879 --> 00:52:16,299 Ricky, you can't race no more. 928 00:52:17,468 --> 00:52:21,387 I'm not going back to being poor and dancing at the Wizard's Den. 929 00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:23,389 You know, my old boyfriend Greg? 930 00:52:23,557 --> 00:52:25,725 He still works there and he was crazy. 931 00:52:25,893 --> 00:52:27,894 Baby, stop. 932 00:52:28,521 --> 00:52:32,398 Wait. Hold on. Hold on. Just a second. Let me make sure I got this straight. 933 00:52:33,317 --> 00:52:35,109 Are you asking me for a divorce? 934 00:52:35,277 --> 00:52:37,862 - Yay! Two Christmases! - Yay! Two Christmases! 935 00:52:38,030 --> 00:52:39,906 Cal? 936 00:52:40,074 --> 00:52:41,950 How could you do this to me, man? 937 00:52:42,117 --> 00:52:45,745 Ricky, your marriage was a hollow shell. 938 00:52:45,913 --> 00:52:47,622 It was a cruel charade. 939 00:52:47,790 --> 00:52:49,874 She just gave me the 411 on the whole deal. 940 00:52:50,042 --> 00:52:53,461 And you know what else? You never let me win one time. 941 00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:56,047 I thought we had a good thing going. Shake and Bake. 942 00:52:56,215 --> 00:52:58,925 You're doing great. You just keep it up. Keep it up. 943 00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:02,095 And Mr. Dennit told me that it's my time now. 944 00:53:02,263 --> 00:53:04,389 - Oh, really? - That Shake and Bake is dead. 945 00:53:04,557 --> 00:53:07,100 And we just came up with a new nickname. 946 00:53:07,268 --> 00:53:09,727 - It's so good. It's so good. - I got a new nickname. 947 00:53:09,937 --> 00:53:12,772 The Magic Man. Now you see me... 948 00:53:13,649 --> 00:53:15,149 ...now you don't. 949 00:53:15,317 --> 00:53:17,527 That is the stupidest nickname I've ever heard. 950 00:53:17,695 --> 00:53:19,404 Is it, Ricky? 951 00:53:19,572 --> 00:53:21,865 Because I think you wish you thought of it. 952 00:53:23,951 --> 00:53:26,452 All right. You got me. That's an awesome nickname. 953 00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:28,830 I've always had a lot of great ideas. 954 00:53:28,998 --> 00:53:33,001 I also think I might design a car that's in the shape of a rabbit. 955 00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:36,796 It might poop out little real rabbits out the back that'll run around the track. 956 00:53:36,964 --> 00:53:39,299 You have live rabbits being pooped out onto a track? 957 00:53:39,466 --> 00:53:42,218 If I win, I might do a special thing with David Copperfield... 958 00:53:42,386 --> 00:53:44,679 ...where he hides in my car in the passenger seat... 959 00:53:44,847 --> 00:53:47,140 ...and he just flings magic stuff out the window. 960 00:53:47,641 --> 00:53:49,225 Did you run any of this by NASCAR? 961 00:53:49,393 --> 00:53:53,062 Watch the mail for that invitation to the wedding, because I want you there. 962 00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:54,480 - What?! - I know it... 963 00:53:54,648 --> 00:53:57,483 ...that some bad stuff happened just now, but in time-- 964 00:53:57,651 --> 00:53:59,485 The wedding's not for a couple of weeks. 965 00:53:59,653 --> 00:54:01,529 Why would I come to your guys' wedding? 966 00:54:01,697 --> 00:54:03,698 You're gonna get over it and be my best man. 967 00:54:03,866 --> 00:54:05,325 I'm not gonna be your best man! 968 00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:07,452 Baby, he's not gonna come to the wedding. 969 00:54:07,620 --> 00:54:11,706 Cal, do you realize the implications of your actions right now? 970 00:54:11,874 --> 00:54:13,166 What's "implication" mean? 971 00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:14,834 We are no longer friends. 972 00:54:15,002 --> 00:54:17,670 - Why? - What do you mean, "Why?" 973 00:54:18,672 --> 00:54:20,006 You're wrecking my life! 974 00:54:20,174 --> 00:54:22,842 You just lost your wife. You just lost your job. 975 00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:25,762 Don't throw out your best friend because of your anger. 976 00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:29,390 - That's absolutely ridiculous, man. - Ricky... 977 00:54:29,558 --> 00:54:34,520 ...remember, the field mouse is fast, but the owl sees at night. 978 00:54:38,275 --> 00:54:40,026 That's kind of creepy, ain't it? 979 00:54:43,656 --> 00:54:46,532 - Hey, Ricky, I'll call you tomorrow. - Shut up. 980 00:54:46,700 --> 00:54:49,369 - Bye, kids. I'll see you next weekend. - Bye. 981 00:54:53,999 --> 00:54:57,835 Ricky! Boys! Is everything all right? 982 00:54:58,045 --> 00:55:01,714 Mama, we got nowhere to go. Carley and Cal took everything. 983 00:55:01,882 --> 00:55:03,883 Well, you're home now, and you got your mama. 984 00:55:04,051 --> 00:55:05,218 Get in here, boys. Come on. 985 00:55:05,386 --> 00:55:08,137 Come on. Get in this house. 986 00:55:14,979 --> 00:55:17,230 Hey, Ricky. Are you on fire? 987 00:55:18,023 --> 00:55:21,317 - Nice denim shorts, dude. - Hey, shut up, man. 988 00:55:33,914 --> 00:55:35,331 Hump me! 989 00:55:39,253 --> 00:55:41,170 Now, you watch yourself. 990 00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:44,674 Yes, sir. I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again. 991 00:55:51,432 --> 00:55:53,099 Hey, sorry, man. 992 00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:03,359 Hey. 993 00:56:03,777 --> 00:56:05,528 I lost my license. 994 00:56:05,696 --> 00:56:07,989 That's why I'm on the bus. I'm delivering pizzas. 995 00:56:08,157 --> 00:56:10,616 Motherfucker, what makes you think I care? 996 00:56:10,784 --> 00:56:13,494 Shut the fuck up! 997 00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:16,247 I was just telling you that because-- 998 00:56:16,415 --> 00:56:19,751 Like I said, I lost my license. I've been having a lot of problems lately. 999 00:56:19,918 --> 00:56:22,545 Problems? I don't wanna hear about your damn problems. 1000 00:56:22,713 --> 00:56:24,255 Everybody got problems. 1001 00:56:24,423 --> 00:56:26,507 My mama got problems. She just lost her leg. 1002 00:56:26,675 --> 00:56:30,595 My cousin Pookie just lost a testicle. My dog threw up somebody's finger. 1003 00:56:30,763 --> 00:56:32,221 That's a problem. 1004 00:56:32,389 --> 00:56:35,308 I really regret opening my mouth and talking to you. 1005 00:56:37,644 --> 00:56:40,271 - Sorry. Sorry. - Get out of the road! 1006 00:56:40,439 --> 00:56:43,399 Hey, come on, man. I'm on a bike. Relax. 1007 00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:45,902 - Hey, shut up! - Idiot! 1008 00:56:49,823 --> 00:56:51,449 It's open. 1009 00:56:53,494 --> 00:56:55,578 Hugalo's Pizza. We are pizza. 1010 00:56:57,414 --> 00:57:00,500 - You are pizza? - Yeah, we are pizza. I gotta say it. 1011 00:57:02,878 --> 00:57:06,172 Either close the door or come in. I got weed in here, cowboy. 1012 00:57:12,137 --> 00:57:15,223 You got three pizzas that haven't been eaten just sitting over there. 1013 00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:18,184 I know. I've been calling them all day trying to get you... 1014 00:57:18,352 --> 00:57:20,728 ...but they keep sending me different delivery people. 1015 00:57:20,896 --> 00:57:22,688 Trying to get me? Why? 1016 00:57:22,856 --> 00:57:24,565 Because I'm your daddy, that's why. 1017 00:57:26,193 --> 00:57:29,278 - What did you just say? - I said, I'm your daddy. 1018 00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,030 I'm Reese Bobby. 1019 00:57:31,198 --> 00:57:36,035 Me and your mama did it in a Rustler Steak House bathroom when I was 17. 1020 00:57:36,203 --> 00:57:38,037 And then you showed up. 1021 00:57:44,795 --> 00:57:46,712 Hey, son. 1022 00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:50,216 - Son! Son, did this go good? - No! 1023 00:57:50,384 --> 00:57:53,344 - Seems to me like it went pretty good. - You're not my dad. 1024 00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:55,847 - It got a little heated, but... - Stop talking to me! 1025 00:57:56,014 --> 00:57:59,142 Hey, is that a Huffy? That's a nice-looking bike, boy. 1026 00:57:59,309 --> 00:58:01,144 I can't believe it! 1027 00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:04,480 I mean, he's been blowing me off for 25 years... 1028 00:58:04,648 --> 00:58:07,233 ...and now he wants to get to know me? 1029 00:58:07,401 --> 00:58:09,277 How the hell did he even find me? 1030 00:58:09,444 --> 00:58:10,778 I called him. 1031 00:58:10,946 --> 00:58:13,906 Are you kidding me? Mama, why did you go do that? 1032 00:58:14,074 --> 00:58:15,783 Son, you need help. 1033 00:58:15,951 --> 00:58:18,494 - I know he's a son of a bitch. - He's scary. 1034 00:58:18,662 --> 00:58:22,665 But you're a grown man. You're delivering pizzas on a bike. 1035 00:58:22,833 --> 00:58:25,585 How'd you even get hooked up with him in the first place? 1036 00:58:25,752 --> 00:58:28,421 You probably couldn't tell by looking at him now... 1037 00:58:28,839 --> 00:58:31,257 ...but your daddy used to be a real charmer. 1038 00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:36,304 And that night in the ladies' room of the Rustler Steak House, he chose me. 1039 00:58:36,471 --> 00:58:41,100 - In a ladies' room? - Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep! 1040 00:58:41,268 --> 00:58:44,228 One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth! 1041 00:58:44,396 --> 00:58:47,815 Hey, stop yelling at me, okay? I'm your dad. You're 7 years old. 1042 00:58:47,983 --> 00:58:49,692 Don't talk like that. 1043 00:58:52,029 --> 00:58:53,613 Hey. Hey there, Lucy. 1044 00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,489 How you doing? 1045 00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:59,452 Oh, hey there, Ricky. Look, son... 1046 00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,705 ...I know you don't want me to be here... 1047 00:59:02,873 --> 00:59:06,876 ...but I saw what happened to you on the television. You saw the fear. 1048 00:59:07,044 --> 00:59:09,003 - I can help you with that, son. - Really? 1049 00:59:09,171 --> 00:59:12,548 What do you care about me or us? You never even met your grandkids. 1050 00:59:12,716 --> 00:59:15,885 - What are you looking at, Popeye? - Shut up, you little pot-licker. 1051 00:59:16,053 --> 00:59:17,428 I'll put you in a microwave. 1052 00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:19,180 Now, you show me the DNA test... 1053 00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:22,350 ...and then maybe I'll say hello to these swamp rats. 1054 00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:27,313 You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent trying to sleep. 1055 00:59:27,481 --> 00:59:30,650 You better shut up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in that tent. 1056 00:59:30,817 --> 00:59:32,026 Yeah, shut up, Frank! 1057 00:59:32,194 --> 00:59:34,695 Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart! 1058 00:59:34,863 --> 00:59:37,281 Okay, I guess they are my grandkids. 1059 00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,578 I know you, son. I know you well. 1060 00:59:42,746 --> 00:59:45,957 You're just like me. Talladega's coming up in a couple of weeks... 1061 00:59:46,124 --> 00:59:48,834 - ...I know you wanna win that thing. - No, I don't. 1062 00:59:49,336 --> 00:59:51,128 Listen, Ricky. 1063 00:59:51,296 --> 00:59:55,258 I'm 55 years old and all I got to my name is a car... 1064 00:59:55,425 --> 00:59:59,303 ...and a duffle bag full of underwear, and sweet, stinky weed. 1065 00:59:59,471 --> 01:00:01,639 How much you selling that weed for, old man? 1066 01:00:01,807 --> 01:00:04,141 I know I screwed up raising you as a boy... 1067 01:00:04,309 --> 01:00:06,394 ...but just let me help you as a man. 1068 01:00:07,688 --> 01:00:11,148 - Do it, Dad. Get your balls back. - Go fast again. 1069 01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:14,568 Fine. I'll do it. 1070 01:00:15,696 --> 01:00:18,864 - But I ain't calling you Daddy. - Well, what you gonna call me? 1071 01:00:19,032 --> 01:00:21,784 All right, Professor Dickweed. What's the plan? 1072 01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:25,037 Well, basically, what happened to you is that you saw the fear. 1073 01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:28,457 So before you can even think about any real driving... 1074 01:00:28,625 --> 01:00:32,503 ...you gotta make friends with that fear. So get in the car. 1075 01:00:39,386 --> 01:00:42,096 What the hell?! There's a goddamn cougar in the car! 1076 01:00:42,264 --> 01:00:44,307 I know there's a cougar, I put it in there. 1077 01:00:44,474 --> 01:00:47,435 You gotta learn to drive with the fear. 1078 01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:51,355 Ain't nothing more damn frightening than driving with a cougar in the car. 1079 01:00:51,523 --> 01:00:53,649 - God, where'd you get that thing? - I trapped it. 1080 01:00:53,817 --> 01:00:56,736 Been keeping it in my bathroom at the motel, feeding it old pizza. 1081 01:00:56,903 --> 01:01:00,156 - Now get back in that car, you hear? - No, I'm not getting in that car. 1082 01:01:00,324 --> 01:01:05,119 Hey, listen to me. If you're calm, that wondrous big cat will be calm too. 1083 01:01:05,287 --> 01:01:06,829 But if you're scared... 1084 01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:10,458 ...that beautiful death machine will do what God made it to do... 1085 01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:13,544 ...namely, eat you with a smile on its face. 1086 01:01:13,712 --> 01:01:15,755 God, he's just following me wherever I go. 1087 01:01:15,922 --> 01:01:17,298 Well, he's just looking at you. 1088 01:01:17,466 --> 01:01:20,134 You're saying if I just calm down, the cougar will be okay? 1089 01:01:20,302 --> 01:01:23,512 - You got it. - Damn it. Okay. 1090 01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,765 Come on, son. You can do it. Come on. 1091 01:01:25,932 --> 01:01:27,433 Oh, come on. 1092 01:01:28,352 --> 01:01:29,685 That's it. 1093 01:01:30,604 --> 01:01:34,357 - And no sudden moves. - Like, is this too fast? Oh, man. See? 1094 01:01:34,524 --> 01:01:36,525 - That's a little quick. - You see what he did? 1095 01:01:36,693 --> 01:01:39,111 You gotta be a little more deliberate in your movement. 1096 01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:41,989 I'm just gonna get in there. I'm just gonna grab the handle. 1097 01:01:42,157 --> 01:01:44,784 I'm gonna get in and drive that car. I'm gonna do it calm. 1098 01:01:44,951 --> 01:01:48,371 - Calm. Piece of cake. - I was just trying to stay calm. 1099 01:01:50,624 --> 01:01:53,042 - Oh, man! - Sometime today, son. 1100 01:01:53,210 --> 01:01:55,503 Okay, here we go. I'm getting in. 1101 01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:57,421 Oh, God, help me! 1102 01:01:58,423 --> 01:02:00,966 - Ricky! Control your heart rate. - Oh, my God! 1103 01:02:03,136 --> 01:02:04,470 Hey, Mama. 1104 01:02:06,473 --> 01:02:09,058 Well, hey there, Ricky. How'd it go? 1105 01:02:09,226 --> 01:02:11,727 Well, I was mauled by a cougar... 1106 01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:15,106 ...learned nothing about driving, and my Crystal Gayle shirt was ruined. 1107 01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,066 But other than that, it went fine. 1108 01:02:17,234 --> 01:02:18,609 Where are the boys at? 1109 01:02:18,777 --> 01:02:22,113 I dropped them off at Sunday school at my church about 10 minutes ago. 1110 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,572 Anarchy! 1111 01:02:23,740 --> 01:02:26,909 - Anarchy! Anarchy! - Anarchy! 1112 01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:30,496 - There they are. - What in tarnation? 1113 01:02:30,664 --> 01:02:33,833 - Anarchy! - I don't even know what that means... 1114 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:36,210 ...but I love it! 1115 01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:40,214 - What in the hell? - That is it! 1116 01:02:40,382 --> 01:02:43,175 That puts the lid right on the jar! 1117 01:02:43,844 --> 01:02:45,261 - Mama! Mama! - No, Ricky, no. 1118 01:02:45,429 --> 01:02:48,889 I will not have my grandbabies acting like shiftless, wild hobos. 1119 01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:52,017 All right, now, you boys listen up, and you listen good. 1120 01:02:52,185 --> 01:02:55,521 Now, I am declaring Granny Law. 1121 01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:59,525 And if you do not obey Granny Law... 1122 01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:02,236 ...I will paint your back porch red. 1123 01:03:02,404 --> 01:03:04,697 Sorry, Granny, but you're shit out of luck. 1124 01:03:04,865 --> 01:03:07,199 We make the rules, not you. 1125 01:03:08,618 --> 01:03:10,369 Hey! 1126 01:03:11,663 --> 01:03:14,290 You're gonna break us like wild horses, ain't you? 1127 01:03:14,875 --> 01:03:17,710 It's the beginning of a new age. 1128 01:03:19,713 --> 01:03:21,547 Hey, Derek, it's Ricky. 1129 01:03:21,715 --> 01:03:24,175 Just wondering if you can ditch school... 1130 01:03:24,342 --> 01:03:27,178 ...and take over my shift at the pizza place... 1131 01:03:27,345 --> 01:03:29,513 ...because I got strep throat. 1132 01:03:29,681 --> 01:03:32,224 And it's bad. I don't wanna give it to everyone else. 1133 01:03:32,392 --> 01:03:34,685 So call me back. You know the number. 1134 01:03:36,062 --> 01:03:37,062 Hello. 1135 01:03:37,355 --> 01:03:40,316 Hey, man. How's it going? You wanna come over and party? 1136 01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:41,984 Did you just say "party"? 1137 01:03:42,152 --> 01:03:44,737 You know what? No. Because I still hate you, okay? 1138 01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:47,948 - What are you so mad about? - What do you think I'm mad about? 1139 01:03:48,116 --> 01:03:50,576 Come on, man, that was last week. 1140 01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:53,245 What about the time you ran over my leg with a car? 1141 01:03:53,413 --> 01:03:57,124 - I let that go that day. - Yeah, I remember. 1142 01:03:57,459 --> 01:03:59,168 Wind is kicking up. 1143 01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:01,712 Are you in the hot tub? 1144 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:04,840 Answer me this: When you're in spa mode... 1145 01:04:05,592 --> 01:04:08,219 ...how come the water level drops in the spa? 1146 01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:11,972 Are you pressing the buttons in the back panel or in the kitchen? 1147 01:04:12,140 --> 01:04:15,392 - I just started pressing stuff. - Hey, don't press all those buttons. 1148 01:04:16,394 --> 01:04:19,104 I'm getting bored. You wanna come over and play G. I. Joes? 1149 01:04:19,272 --> 01:04:20,940 I would love to. No! 1150 01:04:21,399 --> 01:04:24,109 Come on. You know what? Screw you, man. 1151 01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:27,029 Ricky, man, you gotta cross over the anger bridge. 1152 01:04:27,197 --> 01:04:29,156 Come back to the friendship shore. 1153 01:04:29,324 --> 01:04:32,952 - "Cross over the anger bridge"? - Yeah, that's where you're at. 1154 01:04:33,119 --> 01:04:34,954 You're stuck on an anger bridge. 1155 01:04:35,121 --> 01:04:37,873 Can you not see why I'm stuck on the anger bridge? 1156 01:04:38,250 --> 01:04:41,460 Look, I don't know why I'm talking to you, okay? What is it? 1157 01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:45,130 They got bottomless nachos at Bennigan's. 1158 01:04:45,757 --> 01:04:48,092 God, a whole mess of nachos sounds good right now. 1159 01:04:48,260 --> 01:04:50,719 I don't have a car no more. Can you come get me? 1160 01:04:50,887 --> 01:04:54,640 I'll get you. Which one of your cars do you miss the most? I'll bring that one. 1161 01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:56,850 - I miss the Hummer. - I'm coming in the Hummer. 1162 01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:58,644 - Are you ready? - Yeah. No, wait. 1163 01:04:58,812 --> 01:05:01,230 Okay. Our friendship is done. All right? 1164 01:05:01,398 --> 01:05:03,440 - You hear? - You wanna hang out in your house. 1165 01:05:03,608 --> 01:05:05,776 - Come on. - Screw you, dude. I'm hanging up. 1166 01:05:05,944 --> 01:05:07,778 Okay, that's it. Bye. 1167 01:05:08,321 --> 01:05:12,199 Oh, man, this is absolutely crazy. I mean, this is borderline reckless. 1168 01:05:12,367 --> 01:05:16,036 Don't you get it? You don't drive with your eyes, you drive with your heart. 1169 01:05:16,246 --> 01:05:18,163 This is just dumb. I can't see a thing. 1170 01:05:18,331 --> 01:05:22,251 You gotta feel the road. You gotta let it live inside you. 1171 01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,004 - Are you feeling anything now? - I'm feeling a little bit. 1172 01:05:25,171 --> 01:05:27,172 What do you feel? Tell me what you're feeling. 1173 01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:30,342 I'm feeling the worn wood of the steering wheel. 1174 01:05:30,510 --> 01:05:32,511 - Yeah. What else? - A little bit of heat. 1175 01:05:32,679 --> 01:05:35,014 That's you and the car melded together. 1176 01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:38,767 Yeah, now I'm really feeling it. I feel like the car could drive itself. 1177 01:05:38,935 --> 01:05:40,811 I bet it could. Start her up. 1178 01:05:40,979 --> 01:05:43,022 I'm gonna start this car up. 1179 01:05:43,189 --> 01:05:45,357 Attaboy. All right, son. 1180 01:05:45,525 --> 01:05:47,359 Drive. 1181 01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:07,296 I'm embarrassed. I really thought I could feel it. 1182 01:06:07,464 --> 01:06:10,758 You know what? We better hightail it out of here. Frank's gonna be pissed. 1183 01:06:10,925 --> 01:06:12,468 All right. 1184 01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:15,179 No, no, Ricky. No blindfold. 1185 01:06:17,098 --> 01:06:19,683 Get this highway clean, come on. 1186 01:06:19,851 --> 01:06:22,478 I gotta tell you, Granny, this blows. 1187 01:06:22,645 --> 01:06:25,105 - How much more of this? - I don't know. 1188 01:06:25,273 --> 01:06:29,068 How many more times are you gonna toss me the radio in the bathtub? 1189 01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:40,913 - Hello? - Hey, man. You up? 1190 01:06:41,081 --> 01:06:43,582 - No. - Wake up. I need to talk to you. 1191 01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:45,334 I think your house is haunted. 1192 01:06:45,502 --> 01:06:47,544 Hey, come on. It's 2:30 in the morning. 1193 01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:51,340 I can't sleep in here, man. I'm scared. 1194 01:06:51,549 --> 01:06:54,134 Look, there's nothing to be scared of. It's a new house... 1195 01:06:54,302 --> 01:06:56,720 ...there's a lot of creaks and moans and groans in it. 1196 01:06:56,888 --> 01:07:00,808 - Put on-- You got your TV on? - Well, yeah, I fell asleep with it on. 1197 01:07:01,267 --> 01:07:04,770 - Turn on channel 42. - Forty-two? 1198 01:07:04,938 --> 01:07:08,232 - Look at them buns. - Well, that is a set of buns. 1199 01:07:08,483 --> 01:07:10,234 And down, and down, and-- 1200 01:07:10,402 --> 01:07:12,903 What's she doing exercising at 2:30 in the morning? 1201 01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:14,947 Oh, yeah, that's a really good point. 1202 01:07:15,115 --> 01:07:18,492 I don't know why I'm talking to you. Do you remember that I hate you? 1203 01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:21,245 Hey, man, you know what I was thinking? 1204 01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,039 - You're lucky. - I'm lucky? 1205 01:07:24,207 --> 01:07:26,125 - How so? - Well, check it out. 1206 01:07:26,292 --> 01:07:30,963 I'm sitting here in this enormous haunted mansion, can't sleep. 1207 01:07:31,131 --> 01:07:33,340 You're hanging out at your mom's. That's awesome. 1208 01:07:33,508 --> 01:07:37,511 - That's, like, the opposite of awesome. - Well, this is like a hotel room... 1209 01:07:37,679 --> 01:07:39,304 ...with someone else's junk in it. 1210 01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:43,892 Okay, yeah, well, that someone else's junk, that used to be my stuff. 1211 01:07:44,060 --> 01:07:47,521 I'm just having a hard time, man. I'm just calling up for some support. 1212 01:07:47,689 --> 01:07:50,816 Do you--? Do you know how crazy that sounds? 1213 01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:52,734 - Hey, one more thing. - Yeah? 1214 01:07:52,902 --> 01:07:57,239 When you have the stereo on at the same time as the TV... 1215 01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,575 ...how do you control the volume on the TV? 1216 01:07:59,742 --> 01:08:02,286 Why do you want to listen to the TV with the stereo on? 1217 01:08:02,454 --> 01:08:04,329 Because I like to party. 1218 01:08:04,497 --> 01:08:06,373 Why am I still talking to you? 1219 01:08:06,541 --> 01:08:08,417 Come on. We were doing good there, man. 1220 01:08:08,585 --> 01:08:10,836 I'm taking care of your house good. 1221 01:08:11,004 --> 01:08:14,256 I keep snapping back into it. It's like a trick you're pulling on me. 1222 01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:18,719 - All right. I'll talk to you tomorrow. - All right, man. Talk to you tomorrow. 1223 01:08:21,473 --> 01:08:23,640 Shit. 1224 01:08:23,808 --> 01:08:26,560 Get out. 1225 01:08:33,693 --> 01:08:35,360 Where did stock-car racing come from? 1226 01:08:35,528 --> 01:08:36,737 What? 1227 01:08:37,697 --> 01:08:40,991 - Hey, stop doing that. - How did stock-car racing get its start? 1228 01:08:41,159 --> 01:08:44,870 Bootleggers in Prohibition had to have cars fast enough to outrun the Feds... 1229 01:08:45,038 --> 01:08:47,831 - ...then they started racing each other. - That's right. 1230 01:08:47,999 --> 01:08:51,168 If I was right, why'd you throw another bucket on me? 1231 01:08:51,336 --> 01:08:55,172 I filled up three. Now, there's nothing like driving to avoid jail. 1232 01:08:55,340 --> 01:08:58,967 Nothing hones your mind and your instincts like necessity. 1233 01:08:59,135 --> 01:09:02,554 So I taped a kilo of cocaine underneath the car and called the boys in blue. 1234 01:09:02,722 --> 01:09:05,557 Now, the way I figure it, you got about two minutes... 1235 01:09:05,725 --> 01:09:09,102 ...before they show up and you do five to 10. 1236 01:09:09,270 --> 01:09:13,148 So, what's it gonna be? Fear or prison? 1237 01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:16,527 - What the hell are you talking about? - Real simple, son. 1238 01:09:16,694 --> 01:09:17,945 Cops are coming. 1239 01:09:18,112 --> 01:09:23,242 There's a kilo of Colombian bam-bam under the car. Time to be a man. 1240 01:09:23,409 --> 01:09:27,579 - You got hair on your peaches or what? - You're not kidding, are you? Man. 1241 01:09:28,831 --> 01:09:30,916 You crazy creep! 1242 01:09:38,132 --> 01:09:40,133 Come on, son. What's it gonna be? 1243 01:09:40,385 --> 01:09:42,094 Speed or jail? 1244 01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:54,147 Grandpa, would you like to take us fishing... 1245 01:09:54,315 --> 01:09:57,776 ...and tell us life lessons and stories about your childhood? 1246 01:09:57,944 --> 01:09:59,236 I got a better idea. 1247 01:09:59,404 --> 01:10:02,281 Why don't you boys go dig a hole and I'll get another beer? 1248 01:10:02,448 --> 01:10:06,493 Someone didn't love you enough when you were little, did they? 1249 01:10:06,661 --> 01:10:09,454 Good call. Here, that's worth a nickel. 1250 01:10:09,622 --> 01:10:10,914 Tragic. 1251 01:10:17,630 --> 01:10:19,923 Son of a bitch, son of a bitch, son of a bitch. 1252 01:10:21,175 --> 01:10:23,176 Oh, man. Oh, man! 1253 01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:28,599 One-sixteen. One-sixteen! 1254 01:10:28,766 --> 01:10:31,143 I'm going fast again! 1255 01:10:50,913 --> 01:10:52,623 Pull over! Pull over! 1256 01:10:52,790 --> 01:10:56,668 Pull over? I'll pull over for you. How about this? 1257 01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:33,538 Where are you? 1258 01:11:37,210 --> 01:11:39,086 Gotcha. 1259 01:11:49,555 --> 01:11:51,264 "Feels good going fast, doesn't it? 1260 01:11:51,432 --> 01:11:56,561 By the way, don't try and snort these Lucky Charms. Reese." 1261 01:11:58,398 --> 01:12:00,023 Okay. 1262 01:12:01,067 --> 01:12:02,651 Okay. 1263 01:12:15,206 --> 01:12:16,456 There you go, little man. 1264 01:12:27,385 --> 01:12:28,844 Hey, Ricky! 1265 01:12:29,011 --> 01:12:30,595 How you doing? 1266 01:12:34,559 --> 01:12:38,395 - Oh, Nana, not my prison shank. - In the can. 1267 01:12:47,363 --> 01:12:50,240 There's your mother-flipping driving test. 1268 01:12:50,408 --> 01:12:53,285 Mr. Bobby, you are magnificent. 1269 01:12:55,163 --> 01:12:59,207 Down, Karen! Get down! Get down, Karen! 1270 01:12:59,375 --> 01:13:01,126 It's all right. It's gonna be okay. 1271 01:13:09,927 --> 01:13:13,555 Well, son, you are looking good behind that wheel. 1272 01:13:13,723 --> 01:13:17,601 Thanks, Daddy. I gotta tell you, I feel good. Heck, you know what? 1273 01:13:17,769 --> 01:13:20,395 Let's go out tonight, you know, the whole family. 1274 01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:23,940 I'm talking about sitting down, enjoying a gourmet meal... 1275 01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:26,401 ...at a place that's real special. 1276 01:13:26,569 --> 01:13:29,905 - Hi. Those plates are hot. Enjoy. - You got your own skillet. 1277 01:13:30,072 --> 01:13:32,491 - Be back to check on you in a minute. - Thank you. 1278 01:13:32,658 --> 01:13:34,951 Oh, gooder than grits. 1279 01:13:35,119 --> 01:13:36,495 Let us pray. 1280 01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:40,165 Dear Lord baby Jesus... 1281 01:13:40,333 --> 01:13:43,376 ...lying there in your little ghost manger... 1282 01:13:43,544 --> 01:13:47,005 ...just looking at your Baby Einstein developmental videos... 1283 01:13:47,173 --> 01:13:49,257 ...learning about shapes and colors and... 1284 01:13:49,425 --> 01:13:51,843 We just have so much to be thankful for. 1285 01:13:52,011 --> 01:13:54,346 First off, my sons no longer act... 1286 01:13:54,514 --> 01:13:56,807 - ...like retarded gangbangers. - Amen. 1287 01:13:56,974 --> 01:13:59,434 Also, I got my balls back behind the wheel of a car. 1288 01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:01,812 And most importantly, we thank you... 1289 01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:05,941 ...for bringing back our nasty, delinquent, pot-dealing daddy to us. 1290 01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:09,152 For he was lost, but now he is found. Amen. 1291 01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:11,655 - Amen. - Amen. 1292 01:14:11,823 --> 01:14:13,240 Son, that was lovely. 1293 01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:15,242 - What a lovely meal. - It sure is. 1294 01:14:15,409 --> 01:14:17,661 It certainly does look delicious. 1295 01:14:17,829 --> 01:14:20,914 I gotta tell you, this is about a damn perfect evening right now. 1296 01:14:21,082 --> 01:14:23,750 It is, isn't it? 1297 01:14:23,918 --> 01:14:25,877 You know what we should do? 1298 01:14:26,045 --> 01:14:29,089 Every week, we should come back to this Applebee's... 1299 01:14:29,257 --> 01:14:32,467 ...and sit at this table, and have a family meal. 1300 01:14:32,635 --> 01:14:35,053 - That's a great idea, Mama. - And order the same stuff. 1301 01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:38,181 - That would be great. - And I would be delighted, Reese... 1302 01:14:38,349 --> 01:14:42,435 ...if you would accompany me to ballroom dancing on Tuesday nights. 1303 01:14:42,854 --> 01:14:44,437 - Tuesday night? - It's a lot of fun. 1304 01:14:44,605 --> 01:14:47,315 - I think you'd have a good time. - How's everybody doing here? 1305 01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:50,485 - Dolly, it's so good. - Oh, it's really, really good. 1306 01:14:50,653 --> 01:14:55,115 You know, I just-- I hate to be a pain, darling... 1307 01:14:57,952 --> 01:15:00,745 ...but I asked for no onions on my Bourbon Steak. 1308 01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:03,164 I am so sorry. I thought you asked for onions-- 1309 01:15:03,332 --> 01:15:05,208 Okay, okay, maybe don't interrupt me. 1310 01:15:05,376 --> 01:15:08,461 - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. - Yeah, well, I think you did mean to... 1311 01:15:08,629 --> 01:15:12,924 ...and I also think that you meant to put the damn onions on my steak. 1312 01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:14,843 - Okay, Reese. - Grandfather... 1313 01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:18,096 ...can't we resolve this conflict without anger? 1314 01:15:19,432 --> 01:15:22,726 - I'm a veteran and a diabetic! - Dad! 1315 01:15:23,227 --> 01:15:26,855 - Dad! Why are you doing this? - Applebee's has rats! 1316 01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:29,274 I found a whole rat in my Cobb salad! 1317 01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:30,775 Dad, where are you going? 1318 01:15:30,943 --> 01:15:33,194 Come on, frat boy, you wanna go? 1319 01:15:33,362 --> 01:15:36,823 - What's going on, man? - Ricky, let him go! 1320 01:15:36,991 --> 01:15:40,493 - Things were going good, weren't they? - That's exactly why I had to blow it up. 1321 01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:42,662 I don't know what organ or bone people have... 1322 01:15:42,830 --> 01:15:45,665 ...that makes them act right, but I was born without it. I'm no good. 1323 01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:50,295 All those races I won, that was for you, you know that? 1324 01:15:50,463 --> 01:15:55,258 I did just like you told me: "If you ain't first, you're last." 1325 01:15:55,426 --> 01:15:57,135 What the hell are you talking about? 1326 01:15:57,303 --> 01:15:59,971 What you told me that day at school for career day. 1327 01:16:01,807 --> 01:16:05,602 You came in and you said, "If you ain't first, you're last." 1328 01:16:07,146 --> 01:16:10,231 Oh, hell, Ricky, I was high when I said that. 1329 01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:12,150 That doesn't make any sense at all. 1330 01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:16,279 "You're first or last." You can be second, you can be third, fourth. 1331 01:16:16,447 --> 01:16:18,281 Hell, you can even be fifth. 1332 01:16:18,449 --> 01:16:23,036 What are you talking about? I lived my whole life based on that. 1333 01:16:23,454 --> 01:16:25,538 Well, now what the hell am I supposed to do? 1334 01:16:27,375 --> 01:16:30,794 Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? 1335 01:16:34,340 --> 01:16:36,424 Good luck to you, son. 1336 01:16:37,343 --> 01:16:39,010 Hey, Dad! 1337 01:16:40,346 --> 01:16:41,805 Where are you going? 1338 01:16:42,765 --> 01:16:44,683 Does it matter? 1339 01:17:15,798 --> 01:17:17,132 Here we go. 1340 01:17:19,051 --> 01:17:20,593 Hey, don't bump me. 1341 01:17:21,762 --> 01:17:24,055 Oh, man, I'm flying. 1342 01:17:28,728 --> 01:17:31,479 Game over. Come on, reset. 1343 01:17:31,647 --> 01:17:34,357 Boy, you are a terrible driver, no? 1344 01:17:34,525 --> 01:17:36,276 How'd you get on a video game so fast? 1345 01:17:36,444 --> 01:17:40,196 Is your name, by chance, Ricky Bobby? 1346 01:17:40,364 --> 01:17:43,658 Hey, screw you, man! I got nothing because of you! 1347 01:17:46,370 --> 01:17:48,872 - I hate you! - Hey, Ricky. 1348 01:17:49,040 --> 01:17:52,083 I am on fire. I am on fire. 1349 01:17:52,793 --> 01:17:54,044 Susan? 1350 01:17:54,211 --> 01:17:57,130 And so then I got a marketing job with NASCAR. 1351 01:17:57,298 --> 01:18:00,300 - Really? - Yeah, it's great. It's great. 1352 01:18:00,468 --> 01:18:04,137 Well, gosh, you look fantastic. 1353 01:18:04,305 --> 01:18:07,766 - Thank you. - I mean, you've always looked good. 1354 01:18:08,809 --> 01:18:12,479 I mean, I'm just-- I'm happy for you. 1355 01:18:13,397 --> 01:18:14,814 Thank you. 1356 01:18:15,983 --> 01:18:17,525 But what about you? 1357 01:18:17,693 --> 01:18:19,861 How have you been? What have you been doing? 1358 01:18:20,029 --> 01:18:23,782 Well, they want me to race at Talladega next weekend, but I'm not gonna do it. 1359 01:18:23,949 --> 01:18:26,659 Because I'm done. I'm done with the racing, with driving. 1360 01:18:26,827 --> 01:18:29,537 - Why would you do that? - Because I've really moved on. 1361 01:18:29,747 --> 01:18:32,207 I've sent in my application to The Real World... 1362 01:18:32,374 --> 01:18:33,917 ...so I'm hoping to hear back. 1363 01:18:34,085 --> 01:18:37,504 I'm putting a lot of my eggs into that basket, the MTV basket. 1364 01:18:37,671 --> 01:18:41,007 I'm also thinking about getting a gun and dealing crack. 1365 01:18:41,175 --> 01:18:45,011 Being a crack dealer, but not like a mean crack dealer, but like a... 1366 01:18:45,179 --> 01:18:47,305 You know, like a nice one. 1367 01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,516 Just kind of friendly, like, "Hey... 1368 01:18:49,683 --> 01:18:52,018 ...what's up, guys? You want some crack?" 1369 01:18:52,186 --> 01:18:55,480 I'm just waiting on those two things to kind of flesh themselves out. 1370 01:18:55,689 --> 01:18:56,689 You know what, Ricky? 1371 01:18:56,857 --> 01:19:00,860 I have kept my mouth shut for a really, really long time. 1372 01:19:01,028 --> 01:19:03,488 And I just don't think that I can keep it shut anymore. 1373 01:19:03,656 --> 01:19:06,616 I just have to tell you that I think you are making a big mistake. 1374 01:19:06,784 --> 01:19:08,451 - Really? - Yes. 1375 01:19:08,619 --> 01:19:12,122 Why is it that you always fall for people who leave you? 1376 01:19:12,498 --> 01:19:14,207 Have you noticed that? 1377 01:19:14,375 --> 01:19:19,504 Like Carley and your dad and your sponsors. 1378 01:19:19,839 --> 01:19:23,341 And you always have to prove yourself. Wh--? 1379 01:19:24,885 --> 01:19:27,512 Well, you gotta listen to me here, okay? 1380 01:19:27,680 --> 01:19:31,933 You gotta win to get love. Everyone knows that. 1381 01:19:32,101 --> 01:19:34,352 I mean, that's just life. 1382 01:19:37,273 --> 01:19:40,441 Look at Don Shula, legendary coach. 1383 01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:44,028 Look at that Asian guy who holds the world record... 1384 01:19:44,196 --> 01:19:46,156 ...for eating all those hot dogs in a row. 1385 01:19:46,365 --> 01:19:50,034 Look at Rue McClanahan from The Golden Girls. 1386 01:19:50,953 --> 01:19:54,205 All three people, all great champions, all loved. 1387 01:19:54,415 --> 01:19:56,958 Do you wanna know why I think that you should race again? 1388 01:19:58,002 --> 01:19:59,210 Sure. Why? 1389 01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:03,673 Okay. It's because it's what you love, Ricky. 1390 01:20:04,049 --> 01:20:06,885 It is who you were born to be. 1391 01:20:07,052 --> 01:20:10,346 And here you sit, thinking. 1392 01:20:10,514 --> 01:20:15,602 Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. 1393 01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:18,146 He is a doer. And that's what you need to do. 1394 01:20:18,314 --> 01:20:20,190 You don't need to think, you need to drive. 1395 01:20:20,357 --> 01:20:24,235 You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. 1396 01:20:24,403 --> 01:20:25,445 You need to fire it up. 1397 01:20:25,613 --> 01:20:28,364 You need to grab hold of the line between speed and chaos... 1398 01:20:28,532 --> 01:20:31,326 ...and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. 1399 01:20:31,493 --> 01:20:34,329 And then, when that fear rises up in your belly, you use it... 1400 01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:37,415 ...and you know that fear is powerful because it has been there... 1401 01:20:37,583 --> 01:20:41,669 ...for billions of years! And it is good, and you use it, and you ride it. 1402 01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:44,672 You ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell... 1403 01:20:44,840 --> 01:20:46,341 ...and then you win! You win! 1404 01:20:46,508 --> 01:20:49,260 You don't win for anybody else, you win for you. You know why? 1405 01:20:49,428 --> 01:20:51,721 Because a man takes what he wants, he takes it all. 1406 01:20:51,889 --> 01:20:54,557 And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you? 1407 01:20:55,434 --> 01:20:57,602 Susan, I've never heard you talk like that. 1408 01:21:00,940 --> 01:21:02,941 Are we about to get it on? 1409 01:21:03,108 --> 01:21:05,902 Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now. 1410 01:21:09,657 --> 01:21:11,658 - This is awesome. - Yes, it is. 1411 01:21:11,825 --> 01:21:14,786 - Are you climbing on the table now? - Yes, sir. 1412 01:21:20,251 --> 01:21:22,710 I can't believe this. 1413 01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:28,716 This is like that Whitesnake video where the girl crawls on... 1414 01:21:28,884 --> 01:21:31,803 Yeah. Just like that. What's her name? 1415 01:21:31,971 --> 01:21:34,055 Tawny Kitaen. She's really good. 1416 01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:36,182 - She's great. - She's fantastic. 1417 01:21:37,393 --> 01:21:38,977 Everyone, turn away. 1418 01:21:39,144 --> 01:21:43,189 Things are gonna get crazy. We're gonna make animal noises. 1419 01:22:18,392 --> 01:22:20,727 - Looks good, damn good. - Yeah. That's good, guys. 1420 01:22:20,894 --> 01:22:23,521 Yeah, Ricky, it's good to be back. 1421 01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:25,356 - Talladega. - Talladega. 1422 01:22:25,691 --> 01:22:27,692 I missed you dudes. 1423 01:22:27,860 --> 01:22:29,110 Even you too, Glenn. 1424 01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:35,950 I didn't have a whole lot of money left, but what I did I put into the car. 1425 01:22:36,118 --> 01:22:39,037 We got some lower-end sponsors, so it's nothing to shout about... 1426 01:22:39,204 --> 01:22:41,414 ...but at least we got something to run in. 1427 01:22:41,707 --> 01:22:42,999 Let's see what we got, guys. 1428 01:22:44,418 --> 01:22:47,462 What are we looking at? "Julio's thongs for men"? 1429 01:22:47,629 --> 01:22:49,797 Come on, what kind of dude wears a thong? 1430 01:22:49,965 --> 01:22:52,008 Yeah, that's messed up. 1431 01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:53,634 Perverts, you know? 1432 01:22:55,137 --> 01:22:56,596 Not the best car, but it'll move. 1433 01:22:57,931 --> 01:23:01,601 Hold on, now, baby. Let's just see what this thing's got under the hood. 1434 01:23:03,562 --> 01:23:06,314 - There she is. - Looks like the Pep Boys threw up. 1435 01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:08,316 - Damn. - Like I said, work in progress. 1436 01:23:08,484 --> 01:23:12,153 All right, I tell you what we gotta do. Since we got no corporate money... 1437 01:23:12,321 --> 01:23:14,197 ...we have to build this engine ourselves. 1438 01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:18,576 I want you to hit up every independent driver out there for spare parts. 1439 01:23:18,744 --> 01:23:20,703 Yeah, Lucius, that's crazy. 1440 01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:24,165 Well, crazy is all we got right now, okay? So do it. 1441 01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:25,416 Now, where you going? 1442 01:23:25,751 --> 01:23:28,044 I wanna tell Gérard Depardieu we're coming for him. 1443 01:23:28,212 --> 01:23:30,922 There you go, baby. Give him hell. 1444 01:23:31,090 --> 01:23:34,592 Get this engine built. Get it built. 1445 01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:42,767 I have not finished. 1446 01:23:50,651 --> 01:23:54,404 Monsieur Girard, Ricky Bobby is here to see you. 1447 01:23:54,571 --> 01:23:58,449 This is the one I was talking about, Ricky Bobby. 1448 01:23:59,743 --> 01:24:02,203 Thank you, Bacco. Go. 1449 01:24:02,955 --> 01:24:05,289 You're a tough man to find. You know that, buster? 1450 01:24:05,457 --> 01:24:08,084 I prefer solitude the day before a race. 1451 01:24:08,252 --> 01:24:11,254 I am being so incredibly rude, Monsieur Bobby. 1452 01:24:11,422 --> 01:24:13,881 Let me introduce you to my lunch guests. 1453 01:24:14,049 --> 01:24:17,343 This is my dear old friend Elvis Costello. 1454 01:24:17,511 --> 01:24:21,305 Delightful to meet you, Mr. Robert. I thought you were dead. 1455 01:24:21,890 --> 01:24:28,104 And next to him is hip-hop artist, poet and my brother-in-law, Mos Def. 1456 01:24:28,272 --> 01:24:30,982 I like your driving style. I'm more of a Tony Stewart man... 1457 01:24:31,150 --> 01:24:32,733 ...number 20 car, myself. 1458 01:24:32,901 --> 01:24:34,944 How he gets into those straightaways. 1459 01:24:35,112 --> 01:24:36,654 Gets it in the paint. Get her done! 1460 01:24:36,822 --> 01:24:39,657 And across from Monsieur Def... 1461 01:24:40,492 --> 01:24:41,909 ...is Breeze. 1462 01:24:42,077 --> 01:24:45,246 Hey. You're Breeze or you're Breeze? Which one of you is Breeze? 1463 01:24:45,414 --> 01:24:47,915 Together we are Breeze. 1464 01:24:48,083 --> 01:24:51,878 They are like twins, born from different wombs. 1465 01:24:52,337 --> 01:24:53,796 - Right. - They are God's most... 1466 01:24:53,964 --> 01:24:56,215 ...beautiful mistake. 1467 01:24:56,633 --> 01:25:00,094 They do everything together. Everything. 1468 01:25:00,262 --> 01:25:02,680 They read the same books. 1469 01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:06,517 They do Pilates together. 1470 01:25:07,686 --> 01:25:10,021 They walk, talk, sleep... 1471 01:25:10,355 --> 01:25:12,190 ...even go make toilet. 1472 01:25:12,357 --> 01:25:14,317 Okay, you're starting to creep me out, man. 1473 01:25:14,485 --> 01:25:16,068 A single plop. 1474 01:25:16,236 --> 01:25:17,904 One single plop. 1475 01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:21,574 I don't need to hear about doing a toilet. 1476 01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:23,201 You want more examples? 1477 01:25:23,368 --> 01:25:26,537 - No, you listed like 8000. - Less than that. 1478 01:25:26,705 --> 01:25:28,623 - It's none of my business. - More like... 1479 01:25:28,790 --> 01:25:30,458 ...I don't know, between five and 10. 1480 01:25:30,626 --> 01:25:32,752 Look, I need to talk to you. 1481 01:25:32,920 --> 01:25:34,670 Walk with me, Ricky Bobby. 1482 01:25:34,838 --> 01:25:37,048 - You have a good lunch. - Take care, man. 1483 01:25:37,716 --> 01:25:39,884 - Goodbye, Ricky. - Goodbye. 1484 01:25:40,052 --> 01:25:42,929 Holding hands with a man makes me terribly uncomfortable. 1485 01:25:43,096 --> 01:25:46,224 It is a sign of friendship in many countries. 1486 01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:48,142 Well, not in ours. 1487 01:25:48,310 --> 01:25:50,978 There's nothing sexual about it. 1488 01:25:51,146 --> 01:25:53,564 Please don't be worried at the fact I have an erection. 1489 01:25:53,732 --> 01:25:56,567 - It has nothing to do with you. - Hey, come on. 1490 01:25:56,735 --> 01:26:01,489 Look. Here's the deal. I came here to tell you one thing. 1491 01:26:01,657 --> 01:26:04,408 All right? Tomorrow, I'm coming for you. 1492 01:26:04,576 --> 01:26:07,662 Do you know why I came to America, Ricky Bobby? 1493 01:26:08,247 --> 01:26:11,415 Public schools, health-care system, giant water parks. 1494 01:26:11,583 --> 01:26:13,834 I mean, the same reason anyone comes to America. 1495 01:26:15,087 --> 01:26:18,548 I came here for you to beat me. 1496 01:26:18,966 --> 01:26:22,051 - What the hell are you talking about? - My husband, Gregory, and I... 1497 01:26:22,219 --> 01:26:26,055 ...wish only for that which every other couple wishes for: 1498 01:26:26,223 --> 01:26:30,184 To tame Komodo dragons in Sri Lanka... 1499 01:26:30,352 --> 01:26:33,479 ...and teach them to perform Hamlet. 1500 01:26:33,647 --> 01:26:35,231 But before I can do that... 1501 01:26:35,399 --> 01:26:37,984 - That's dumb. - It's not dumb. 1502 01:26:38,151 --> 01:26:40,027 - It is dumb. - Why is it dumb? 1503 01:26:40,195 --> 01:26:42,154 - I don't know. - But before I can do that... 1504 01:26:42,322 --> 01:26:46,701 ...I must be beaten by a driver who's truly better than me. 1505 01:26:46,910 --> 01:26:49,161 So you're gonna lose to me on purpose? 1506 01:26:49,329 --> 01:26:51,080 - No. - No? 1507 01:26:51,248 --> 01:26:52,582 No! 1508 01:26:53,625 --> 01:26:56,294 I will battle you with the entirety of my heart. 1509 01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:58,296 And you will probably lose. 1510 01:26:58,964 --> 01:27:03,301 But maybe, just maybe... 1511 01:27:03,969 --> 01:27:06,304 ...you might challenge me. 1512 01:27:06,471 --> 01:27:08,097 God needs the devil. 1513 01:27:08,265 --> 01:27:11,183 The Beatles needed the Rolling Stones. 1514 01:27:11,351 --> 01:27:14,854 Even Diane Sawyer needed Katie Couric. 1515 01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:18,858 Will you be my Katie Couric? 1516 01:27:21,236 --> 01:27:23,613 I feel like I'm in Highlander. 1517 01:27:26,700 --> 01:27:28,242 What's the Highlander? 1518 01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:29,660 It's a movie. 1519 01:27:29,828 --> 01:27:31,704 - Any good? - Very good. 1520 01:27:31,872 --> 01:27:33,831 - It won the Academy Award. - Oh, for what? 1521 01:27:33,999 --> 01:27:35,708 For best movie ever made. 1522 01:27:35,876 --> 01:27:39,003 I just want you to know I came here today to tell you one thing. 1523 01:27:39,171 --> 01:27:42,048 That come race time tomorrow, I'm coming for you, all right? 1524 01:27:43,008 --> 01:27:45,176 - May God be with you. - Yeah. 1525 01:27:45,344 --> 01:27:48,596 Because although today I am friendly... 1526 01:27:49,556 --> 01:27:54,018 ...tomorrow will be war! 1527 01:27:55,020 --> 01:27:56,103 All right. 1528 01:28:01,276 --> 01:28:04,945 Ladies and gentlemen, pull up a chair, drop the kids off with their aunt... 1529 01:28:05,113 --> 01:28:07,948 ...and take the phone off the hook because it's race day here... 1530 01:28:08,116 --> 01:28:10,284 ...at the Talladega Superspeedway. 1531 01:28:20,629 --> 01:28:22,463 Hey, guys. 1532 01:28:24,925 --> 01:28:26,884 - Why so down? - Ricky... 1533 01:28:27,052 --> 01:28:29,637 ...we were up all night working on the car. 1534 01:28:29,805 --> 01:28:31,889 And then something happened. There was a fire. 1535 01:28:32,057 --> 01:28:33,474 Did you say "fire"? 1536 01:28:33,642 --> 01:28:35,101 Glenn is dead, Ricky. 1537 01:28:36,186 --> 01:28:39,438 I mean, he died last night in my arms... 1538 01:28:39,606 --> 01:28:41,190 - ...as I held him. - Oh, man. 1539 01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:44,026 He was so scared, because you know how little he is. 1540 01:28:44,194 --> 01:28:46,445 And death was coming for him, and he stood there... 1541 01:28:46,613 --> 01:28:50,241 ...and with a tear coming out his eyes, he said, "Tell Ricky, win for me." 1542 01:28:50,409 --> 01:28:53,160 That's all that little bastard wanted, was for you to win. 1543 01:28:53,328 --> 01:28:54,620 I wish you could've seen him. 1544 01:28:54,788 --> 01:28:57,415 I wish you could've felt his little heart fluttering. 1545 01:28:57,582 --> 01:28:58,999 Sweet Jesus. 1546 01:28:59,543 --> 01:29:01,585 Poor Glenn. 1547 01:29:03,630 --> 01:29:06,716 Hey, what the hell, man. Hey, Glenn. Glenn! 1548 01:29:08,927 --> 01:29:12,304 - I see you. - Glenn, what did I say? 1549 01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:15,099 - I said, "Wait till after the race." - Was he crying? 1550 01:29:15,267 --> 01:29:18,769 I'm sorry, Ricky. We were just trying to give you a little extra motivation. 1551 01:29:18,937 --> 01:29:21,814 Well, that is just sick, guys. 1552 01:29:21,982 --> 01:29:24,984 It's okay, Susie. I appreciate it, guys. 1553 01:29:25,152 --> 01:29:26,527 Just trying to help out... 1554 01:29:26,737 --> 01:29:29,488 ...even though it was weird and perverse. 1555 01:29:29,656 --> 01:29:32,074 They're just trying to help, Ricky. We're a team here. 1556 01:29:32,242 --> 01:29:34,493 - I appreciate it. - Let's see what's under the hood. 1557 01:29:34,661 --> 01:29:36,829 All right, let's have a look. 1558 01:29:42,586 --> 01:29:45,796 Hot dog. I mean, that's like looking up Bridgette Wilson-Sampras' skirt. 1559 01:29:45,964 --> 01:29:49,300 We were up all night working on it. Like I said, a lot of teams gave parts. 1560 01:29:49,468 --> 01:29:50,676 Nice work, guys. 1561 01:29:50,844 --> 01:29:54,472 And your sponsors weren't doing very much, so... 1562 01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,640 ...well, we repainted the car. 1563 01:29:56,808 --> 01:29:59,101 Well, take a look. Come on, guys. 1564 01:30:01,897 --> 01:30:05,149 Well, I like the cougar, but what company is "M. E."? 1565 01:30:05,317 --> 01:30:07,651 "Me" is you... 1566 01:30:07,819 --> 01:30:09,487 ...because it's just you out there. 1567 01:30:09,654 --> 01:30:12,490 We don't have any corporate sponsors. 1568 01:30:12,657 --> 01:30:14,909 We don't have any fancy team owners. 1569 01:30:15,076 --> 01:30:16,702 We have you... 1570 01:30:16,870 --> 01:30:19,830 ...and this car, and this cougar... 1571 01:30:19,998 --> 01:30:22,833 ...which symbolizes the fear that you have overcome. 1572 01:30:23,001 --> 01:30:24,835 It's all there for you. 1573 01:30:25,295 --> 01:30:30,424 Ricky, this car is like your Excalibur, the mighty sword King Arthur used... 1574 01:30:30,592 --> 01:30:33,010 ...to bring together the Knights of the Round Table... 1575 01:30:33,178 --> 01:30:38,015 ...until Lancelot betrayed him by laying with his queen, in the biblical sense. 1576 01:30:38,183 --> 01:30:39,850 Okay, Glenn. 1577 01:30:40,018 --> 01:30:43,020 Everything cool that Susan said, you wrecked it. 1578 01:30:44,773 --> 01:30:46,941 Guys, let's go win ourselves a race, all right? 1579 01:30:47,108 --> 01:30:49,193 - There you go. Yeah! - Right? 1580 01:30:49,361 --> 01:30:51,821 Let's get out there and win a race. 1581 01:31:05,961 --> 01:31:07,419 From Provence, France... 1582 01:31:07,587 --> 01:31:11,257 ...driver of the number 55 Perrier car... 1583 01:31:11,424 --> 01:31:14,468 ...Jean Girard. 1584 01:31:21,893 --> 01:31:24,395 From West River, North Carolina... 1585 01:31:24,563 --> 01:31:27,815 ...driver of the number 47 old Spice car... 1586 01:31:27,983 --> 01:31:31,235 ...Cal Naughton Jr. 1587 01:31:40,287 --> 01:31:42,121 Hey, Carley. 1588 01:31:42,289 --> 01:31:45,916 - Hey, Ricky. - Carley! Hey, baby. 1589 01:31:47,794 --> 01:31:49,420 Baby. 1590 01:31:49,588 --> 01:31:51,589 Oh, hey, Ricky. 1591 01:31:51,756 --> 01:31:54,383 Hey, man. We missed you at the wedding. 1592 01:31:54,551 --> 01:31:57,553 - You missed me at the wedding? - Oh, man, it was so classy. 1593 01:31:57,721 --> 01:32:01,098 We had a Styx cover band and a nacho fountain. 1594 01:32:01,266 --> 01:32:04,268 Check it, it was a nacho fountain with six kinds of cheese on it. 1595 01:32:04,436 --> 01:32:07,730 - Liquid cheese? It cascaded down? - Yeah. 1596 01:32:07,898 --> 01:32:09,940 - Are you serious? - Amazing. Six different kinds. 1597 01:32:10,108 --> 01:32:11,775 Swiss, Havarti. What was the other one? 1598 01:32:11,943 --> 01:32:13,027 - Gouda. - Cheddar, Gouda. 1599 01:32:13,194 --> 01:32:15,154 That's the greatest thing I ever heard of. 1600 01:32:15,322 --> 01:32:17,239 Bean buffet in front of it. It was awesome. 1601 01:32:17,407 --> 01:32:20,701 Don't listen to him. And remember one thing, he's the competition. 1602 01:32:20,869 --> 01:32:23,746 You're not very focused right now. I need you to focus. 1603 01:32:23,914 --> 01:32:25,289 - Hey. - What? 1604 01:32:25,457 --> 01:32:27,750 - I'm the Magic Man now. Okay? - Yeah, I know. 1605 01:32:27,918 --> 01:32:30,920 So get ready for some tricks up these sleeves, all right? 1606 01:32:31,087 --> 01:32:32,379 Watch your buns, pal. 1607 01:32:32,547 --> 01:32:35,341 Baby, that is real good talk. Like we practiced last night. 1608 01:32:35,508 --> 01:32:37,968 I got something to tell you, you mangy piece of trash. 1609 01:32:38,136 --> 01:32:40,804 - What? - I'm sorry. 1610 01:32:42,933 --> 01:32:46,435 I took you for granted, Cal, and you were a really good friend to me... 1611 01:32:46,645 --> 01:32:49,897 ...and I never gave you your due. It was my fault. 1612 01:32:51,024 --> 01:32:54,443 I'll tell you the truth. I'm a little confused by your tactics. 1613 01:32:54,611 --> 01:32:57,446 - Tactics? - Yeah. I'm gonna keep acting tough... 1614 01:32:57,614 --> 01:32:59,823 ...until I figure it out. All right? 1615 01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:02,201 See you on the track. 1616 01:33:02,369 --> 01:33:04,787 - Come on, baby. - I love you. 1617 01:33:04,955 --> 01:33:06,664 I love you too. Come on. 1618 01:33:06,831 --> 01:33:08,832 Abracadabra, homes. 1619 01:33:12,879 --> 01:33:15,673 Hi, Bill Weber, along with Wally Dallenbach and Benny Parsons. 1620 01:33:15,840 --> 01:33:19,510 Thanks for having us. Today, Talladega, NASCAR's biggest track... 1621 01:33:19,678 --> 01:33:21,512 ...where the big concern is the big wreck. 1622 01:33:21,680 --> 01:33:23,806 And it's not if it happens, it's where and when. 1623 01:33:23,974 --> 01:33:27,142 We have a guy in the race today that'll probably cause it, Ricky Bobby. 1624 01:33:27,310 --> 01:33:29,436 Starting in the rear of the field, underfunded... 1625 01:33:29,604 --> 01:33:32,189 ...and the last time we saw him, he caused a big crash. 1626 01:33:32,357 --> 01:33:35,818 A lot of big stories and some big questions here at Talladega. 1627 01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:50,833 All right, go get them. 1628 01:34:04,806 --> 01:34:06,849 You must decide, Ricky Bobby. 1629 01:34:07,017 --> 01:34:10,686 Is it foolish pride, or is it greatness for you? 1630 01:34:18,820 --> 01:34:21,655 - Hey, Jarvis! - Go ahead, Cal. 1631 01:34:21,823 --> 01:34:24,950 If you slept with your best friend's wife... 1632 01:34:25,118 --> 01:34:28,829 - ...why would he apologize to you? - Yeah, I know. That's weird. 1633 01:34:28,997 --> 01:34:32,750 That's what I'm saying. My head's all tied up like a pretzel. 1634 01:34:32,917 --> 01:34:34,585 I got a pretzel in my head. 1635 01:34:39,340 --> 01:34:40,799 - Ricky! - Come on, Dad! 1636 01:35:07,702 --> 01:35:09,453 I've got some big investors coming by. 1637 01:35:09,621 --> 01:35:11,497 These guys are big-money power players. 1638 01:35:11,664 --> 01:35:15,042 If things go right, they could have us owning half the cars in NASCAR. 1639 01:35:15,210 --> 01:35:17,002 So I want you-- No, I want you to behave. 1640 01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:18,462 - Oh, really? - Quiet. 1641 01:35:18,630 --> 01:35:20,964 Should I not tell them after 14 years of marriage... 1642 01:35:21,132 --> 01:35:23,175 ...you're still afraid to let me see you naked? 1643 01:35:23,343 --> 01:35:25,385 That's not a fear thing, it's a trust thing. 1644 01:35:25,929 --> 01:35:28,931 Hey! I was wondering where you guys got off to. 1645 01:35:29,099 --> 01:35:31,225 Baby, this is Ted Beamen from Halliburton. 1646 01:35:31,392 --> 01:35:33,477 - Nice to meet you. - Over here... 1647 01:35:33,645 --> 01:35:36,480 ...is Dick Tangfield from Dynacorp. 1648 01:35:36,648 --> 01:35:38,649 - Back there is... - You have beautiful teeth. 1649 01:35:38,817 --> 01:35:40,526 Yes, he does. Get yourselves down there. 1650 01:35:40,693 --> 01:35:42,402 - Adorable. - Make yourselves at home... 1651 01:35:42,570 --> 01:35:45,989 - ...grab something to eat, over here... - Sweetheart, sweetheart. 1652 01:35:46,157 --> 01:35:47,658 You're a sweetie pie. 1653 01:35:47,826 --> 01:35:50,661 She's very affectionate. She suffered a recent loss-- 1654 01:35:50,829 --> 01:35:52,162 You taste good too. 1655 01:35:52,330 --> 01:35:54,206 So she's a little emotional. 1656 01:35:54,374 --> 01:35:58,710 Okay, that's fine. Go ahead, find a seat. Can we get these guys something? 1657 01:35:58,878 --> 01:36:02,172 Jean Girard started from the pole and is out to a big lead. 1658 01:36:02,340 --> 01:36:04,675 As you know, Bill, he's been doing that all year. 1659 01:36:07,137 --> 01:36:11,807 Where are you, Ricky Bobby? Come face your destroyer! 1660 01:36:11,975 --> 01:36:14,476 "Come face your destroyer"? Listen to how I sound. 1661 01:36:14,644 --> 01:36:16,520 I sound like a massive prick. 1662 01:36:18,648 --> 01:36:20,274 Come on, baby! Yeah, that's it. 1663 01:36:20,441 --> 01:36:23,277 All right, Lucius. Time to let the cougar loose. 1664 01:36:25,697 --> 01:36:27,573 Here we go, boys. 1665 01:36:35,165 --> 01:36:37,708 Ricky Bobby, in the 62 car, on the move. 1666 01:36:37,876 --> 01:36:40,085 He's gone from 26th to 18th place. 1667 01:36:40,253 --> 01:36:43,922 Now let's go to John Hannafin, in the stands with a country-music legend. 1668 01:36:44,090 --> 01:36:47,342 Thank you, Sean. I'm here with one of the greatest country-music stars... 1669 01:36:47,510 --> 01:36:49,219 ...of all time, Kenny Rogers. 1670 01:36:49,387 --> 01:36:53,390 - What do you think of the race so far? - It's good. They're going really fast. 1671 01:36:53,558 --> 01:36:55,684 John, that's not Kenny Rogers. 1672 01:36:55,852 --> 01:36:58,395 In the song "The Gambler," you sang: 1673 01:36:58,563 --> 01:37:01,732 "You gotta know when to walk away and know when to run." 1674 01:37:01,900 --> 01:37:04,359 Should Ricky Bobby have stayed away from racing? 1675 01:37:04,527 --> 01:37:09,740 Mr. Bobby's very competitive. If he wants to race, he should race. 1676 01:37:10,074 --> 01:37:13,869 Well, this is John Hannafin with Kenny Rogers. And now back to you, Bill. 1677 01:37:14,037 --> 01:37:15,996 Well, that, of course, was not Kenny Rogers. 1678 01:37:16,164 --> 01:37:17,164 Not even close. 1679 01:37:18,166 --> 01:37:20,334 Ricky, you've got Brian Wavecrest... 1680 01:37:20,543 --> 01:37:22,920 ...the guy that replaced you at Dennit, dead ahead. 1681 01:37:23,129 --> 01:37:25,881 Bobby working really hard to pass the Wonder Bread car. 1682 01:37:26,049 --> 01:37:27,841 That's his old ride, of course. 1683 01:37:34,349 --> 01:37:36,808 We've passed the halfway mark with Ricky Bobby... 1684 01:37:36,976 --> 01:37:40,020 ...now three car lengths behind the leader. 1685 01:37:40,230 --> 01:37:43,440 Maybe subconsciously you slept with Ricky's wife... 1686 01:37:43,608 --> 01:37:45,317 ...as a way of getting back at him... 1687 01:37:45,485 --> 01:37:48,278 ...for making you come in second all those years. 1688 01:37:48,488 --> 01:37:52,699 I know one thing, Carley was definitely unconscious every time we had sex. 1689 01:37:54,327 --> 01:37:56,536 Lucius, I got Cal Naughton dead ahead of me. 1690 01:37:59,916 --> 01:38:02,709 Hey, Cal, you should pay attention. I think he's passing you. 1691 01:38:02,877 --> 01:38:05,087 Is Ricky passing me in my subconscious? 1692 01:38:05,255 --> 01:38:08,131 No, he's actually passing you. That's happening right now. 1693 01:38:08,633 --> 01:38:10,884 Go, Ricky! Go! 1694 01:38:11,052 --> 01:38:12,636 Let's go back to our John Hannafin... 1695 01:38:12,804 --> 01:38:16,306 ...who's in the stands with an NBA legend, Larry Bird. 1696 01:38:16,474 --> 01:38:18,976 Folks, I'm here with one of the great NBA superstars... 1697 01:38:19,143 --> 01:38:20,894 ...a real legend, Larry Bird. 1698 01:38:21,062 --> 01:38:24,273 I almost didn't recognize you with the sunglasses. What are you up to? 1699 01:38:24,440 --> 01:38:26,108 Come on, John, pay attention. 1700 01:38:26,276 --> 01:38:28,443 I'm concerned. He might have had a stroke. 1701 01:38:28,611 --> 01:38:31,154 Didn't Ricky Bobby used to drive for you? 1702 01:38:31,322 --> 01:38:33,282 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - He's doing quite well. 1703 01:38:33,449 --> 01:38:36,493 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Richard! 1704 01:38:37,328 --> 01:38:39,788 Get Cal Naughton's crew chief on the radio right away. 1705 01:38:41,582 --> 01:38:45,836 I believe you have some tickets waiting for me. My name's Reese Bobby. 1706 01:38:46,004 --> 01:38:47,587 Reese Bobby. 1707 01:38:49,007 --> 01:38:52,467 Mister, these tickets have been waiting for you for a long time. 1708 01:38:59,600 --> 01:39:01,935 Who needs two? I got tickets! 1709 01:39:02,103 --> 01:39:04,187 Tickets, right here, 60 bucks a pop. 1710 01:39:11,446 --> 01:39:15,824 All right, Girard, I found you. Now let's see where this goes. 1711 01:39:15,992 --> 01:39:17,534 Bobby's gotten around Naughton... 1712 01:39:17,702 --> 01:39:21,288 ...and now he's right behind Girard, but Girard's gonna block the track. 1713 01:39:21,456 --> 01:39:23,540 Man, he's scary good. 1714 01:39:23,708 --> 01:39:25,876 Ah, Ricky Bobby. 1715 01:39:26,044 --> 01:39:30,630 Now we shall dance, and yes, it will be a slow jam. 1716 01:39:36,846 --> 01:39:39,222 Damn it. Come on, man. 1717 01:39:42,060 --> 01:39:44,519 I was wrong about you, Ricky Bobby. 1718 01:39:44,687 --> 01:39:47,147 You are not the one to defeat me. 1719 01:39:50,943 --> 01:39:52,319 I can't get around him, man. 1720 01:39:56,574 --> 01:39:58,992 You tell Cal Naughton to take Ricky Bobby out. 1721 01:39:59,160 --> 01:40:03,205 Hey, Cal, listen. I hate to add to your tremendous moral confusion... 1722 01:40:03,373 --> 01:40:04,831 ...but I just heard from Dennit. 1723 01:40:04,999 --> 01:40:08,085 He said to take Ricky Bobby out of the race or you're fired, buddy. 1724 01:40:08,252 --> 01:40:09,669 What are you talking about? 1725 01:40:09,837 --> 01:40:13,590 Tell him if he doesn't do it, he's done. That's right, he'll be driving a tour bus. 1726 01:40:13,758 --> 01:40:18,220 Well, you tell Mr. Dennit that Ricky Bobby is my best friend. 1727 01:40:18,388 --> 01:40:21,223 - And it's Shake and Bake time. - Cal, I don't like the way... 1728 01:40:21,391 --> 01:40:24,851 - ...you're talking out there. - Damn the torpedoes! 1729 01:40:33,027 --> 01:40:37,239 Come on, man, slingshot it. Slingshot, come on. 1730 01:40:37,407 --> 01:40:40,575 I can't believe it. If it isn't Mike Honcho himself. 1731 01:40:40,743 --> 01:40:42,119 Shake and Bake, buddy! 1732 01:40:42,286 --> 01:40:44,246 Shake it before you bake it. 1733 01:40:45,123 --> 01:40:48,750 Here I come. Slingshot engaged. 1734 01:40:51,796 --> 01:40:53,422 Yeah! 1735 01:40:54,132 --> 01:40:55,757 I love you, Cal! 1736 01:40:55,925 --> 01:40:58,760 - What are you doing? - Can't believe it. Now I've seen it all. 1737 01:40:58,928 --> 01:41:03,723 Cal Naughton from Dennit Racing just helped a rival driver pass a teammate. 1738 01:41:05,726 --> 01:41:09,980 Darrell, you tell Brian Wavecrest to take out Cal Naughton right now. 1739 01:41:10,148 --> 01:41:12,607 Right now, you do it. You do it! 1740 01:41:13,234 --> 01:41:14,568 Yes, sir. 1741 01:41:22,160 --> 01:41:25,245 And the 26 car just ran Naughton into the wall. 1742 01:41:31,252 --> 01:41:32,836 Oh, man. 1743 01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:40,510 Damn you, Wavecrest! 1744 01:41:44,182 --> 01:41:48,435 The entire field was in that wreck, and we've only got six laps to go. 1745 01:41:48,603 --> 01:41:51,480 only Ricky Bobby and Jean Girard got away clean. 1746 01:41:54,025 --> 01:41:56,485 It's just Jean and Ricky. 1747 01:42:00,865 --> 01:42:05,494 And now the matador shall dance with the blind shoemaker. 1748 01:42:07,580 --> 01:42:10,749 Race officials have completed an extensive cleanup of the track. 1749 01:42:10,917 --> 01:42:12,459 We're ready to get back to racing. 1750 01:42:12,627 --> 01:42:16,046 The 200,000 fans are on their feet, and the green flag is in the air. 1751 01:42:25,348 --> 01:42:27,933 Bobby and Girard are dueling each other for the lead. 1752 01:42:28,100 --> 01:42:30,393 No one seems to have the edge. 1753 01:42:30,561 --> 01:42:32,729 Go, go, go! Come on, come on, go! 1754 01:42:32,897 --> 01:42:35,524 Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final lap. 1755 01:42:38,736 --> 01:42:42,656 By the way, Ricky, I watched the Highlander movie. 1756 01:42:42,823 --> 01:42:44,241 It was shit. 1757 01:42:46,077 --> 01:42:48,578 Hang on, baby Jesus, this is gonna get bumpy. 1758 01:43:15,273 --> 01:43:17,315 I've seen a lot of big crashes at Talladega... 1759 01:43:17,483 --> 01:43:19,568 ...but this is the longest one I've ever seen. 1760 01:43:19,735 --> 01:43:22,445 Let's take a quick commercial break and we'll be right back. 1761 01:43:22,613 --> 01:43:24,656 Hungry for both steak and shrimp? 1762 01:43:32,373 --> 01:43:36,251 Welcome back to Talladega, where the long one continues. 1763 01:43:43,467 --> 01:43:47,637 No, no! Jean Girard and Ricky Bobby have wrecked in the last lap... 1764 01:43:47,805 --> 01:43:49,639 ...on the straightaway. What a shame. 1765 01:43:49,807 --> 01:43:51,474 Oh, God. 1766 01:43:52,643 --> 01:43:56,479 It looks like neither Girard or Bobby will finish this race. 1767 01:43:56,647 --> 01:43:59,858 We'd like to thank you for joining us for NBC's coverage of NASCAR. 1768 01:44:00,026 --> 01:44:03,111 Coming up next, it's Ice Dancing to the Hits of Motown. 1769 01:44:22,673 --> 01:44:25,592 Wait a minute, there's something going on on the track down there. 1770 01:44:25,760 --> 01:44:28,011 Oh, my God, they're racing each other on foot. 1771 01:44:28,179 --> 01:44:29,596 These men will not quit. 1772 01:44:29,764 --> 01:44:31,848 Go! Go! 1773 01:44:34,352 --> 01:44:37,145 Ricky, Ricky. He's going, he's going, he's going. Look! 1774 01:45:14,642 --> 01:45:16,351 He did it! 1775 01:45:22,983 --> 01:45:25,151 Well, I'll be damned. 1776 01:45:26,445 --> 01:45:28,613 Good for you, Ricky Bobby. 1777 01:45:34,453 --> 01:45:36,705 Yeah! Yeah! 1778 01:45:36,872 --> 01:45:38,248 Ricky Bobby wins! 1779 01:45:38,416 --> 01:45:41,000 You'll never see anything like that in a hundred lifetimes. 1780 01:45:41,168 --> 01:45:44,796 It was completely illegal and in no way will count, but that was something. 1781 01:45:44,964 --> 01:45:47,424 It was. That was really good. 1782 01:45:49,927 --> 01:45:53,513 Monsieur Bobby, by defeating me today... 1783 01:45:53,681 --> 01:45:56,182 ...you have set me free. 1784 01:45:56,350 --> 01:45:58,852 And for that, I thank you. 1785 01:46:00,855 --> 01:46:04,607 I will never shake your hand, ever. 1786 01:46:06,318 --> 01:46:08,653 But I will give you this. 1787 01:46:29,800 --> 01:46:34,679 Sir, you taste of America. 1788 01:46:35,931 --> 01:46:37,849 Thank you. 1789 01:46:42,897 --> 01:46:45,982 No, once was good. Once was good. 1790 01:46:50,362 --> 01:46:53,281 Boy, that Halliburton. Halliburton's taken off, haven't they? 1791 01:46:53,449 --> 01:46:54,866 Yeah, yeah, we're doing well. 1792 01:46:55,034 --> 01:46:57,827 Now there's some stock I'd like to get my hands on. 1793 01:46:57,995 --> 01:46:59,996 Ladies and gentlemen, NASCAR fans... 1794 01:47:00,164 --> 01:47:02,832 ...your eyes on Talladega's famed Victory Lane... 1795 01:47:03,000 --> 01:47:04,876 ...as we get ready for trophy time here... 1796 01:47:05,044 --> 01:47:08,213 ...following an exciting running of the Talladega 500. 1797 01:47:08,380 --> 01:47:10,673 First, a very brief explanation. 1798 01:47:10,841 --> 01:47:15,345 Because the drivers that finished first and second got out of their cars... 1799 01:47:15,513 --> 01:47:18,056 ...they have officially been disqualified. 1800 01:47:18,224 --> 01:47:22,018 So now the winner, he was third, he's now number one: 1801 01:47:22,645 --> 01:47:26,022 Cal Naughton Jr.! 1802 01:47:27,191 --> 01:47:28,858 Yeah, come on, guys! 1803 01:47:31,403 --> 01:47:34,447 - Give me that thing. - Cal, you're number one! 1804 01:47:34,615 --> 01:47:37,200 I've been waiting a long time for you to say my name, man. 1805 01:47:37,368 --> 01:47:40,537 I know it's a technicality, but I tell you what... 1806 01:47:40,704 --> 01:47:43,998 ...you try to take this away from me, I'll sock you in the face. 1807 01:47:44,166 --> 01:47:46,000 Ricky. 1808 01:47:46,168 --> 01:47:47,877 Give me that thing. 1809 01:47:50,714 --> 01:47:53,925 I can't believe it. I can't believe it! 1810 01:47:54,552 --> 01:47:57,387 - Cal! - Put me down. 1811 01:47:57,555 --> 01:47:59,222 I'm proud of you! 1812 01:47:59,390 --> 01:48:02,976 Get up here, man. No, you come up here. 1813 01:48:03,143 --> 01:48:04,561 You come up here. 1814 01:48:07,731 --> 01:48:10,149 - Cal Naughton! Cal Naughton. - Oh, my God. 1815 01:48:10,317 --> 01:48:13,236 For this to happen... Am I dead, man? 1816 01:48:13,404 --> 01:48:15,738 You won the Talladega 500, all right? 1817 01:48:17,199 --> 01:48:18,741 I owe you an apology. 1818 01:48:19,201 --> 01:48:21,661 - Come on. - Man, I'm sorry about Carley. 1819 01:48:21,829 --> 01:48:24,747 She walked straight up to me and grabbed me in the crotch. 1820 01:48:24,915 --> 01:48:28,418 - It's like a tractor beam of hotness. - I know. 1821 01:48:29,753 --> 01:48:31,671 Shake and Bake? 1822 01:48:33,007 --> 01:48:36,175 No. Never again. 1823 01:48:38,137 --> 01:48:42,557 You're right. I was a total dick, man. 1824 01:48:42,725 --> 01:48:44,809 From now on... 1825 01:48:46,061 --> 01:48:48,187 ...it's Magic Man... 1826 01:48:48,355 --> 01:48:49,939 ...and El Diablo. 1827 01:48:50,900 --> 01:48:52,609 What's "Diablo" mean? 1828 01:48:52,776 --> 01:48:54,027 It's like, you know... 1829 01:48:54,194 --> 01:48:56,446 It's like Spanish for, like, a fighting chicken. 1830 01:48:56,614 --> 01:48:58,031 - That's awesome. - I know. 1831 01:48:58,198 --> 01:49:01,284 - With the claws. - With the claws and the beak. 1832 01:49:01,452 --> 01:49:02,911 Where did you think of that? 1833 01:49:03,078 --> 01:49:04,746 You just-- Sometimes things click. 1834 01:49:05,289 --> 01:49:07,790 - I love you, bro. - I love you too. 1835 01:49:09,293 --> 01:49:13,212 Oh, my God! Oh, my God, I can't believe it! 1836 01:49:14,048 --> 01:49:17,467 Excuse me, guys. Nice job. 1837 01:49:17,635 --> 01:49:19,010 Hey, Ricky. 1838 01:49:19,470 --> 01:49:20,803 Hey, Carley. 1839 01:49:20,971 --> 01:49:24,724 I've decided I can love you again. You're a winner. 1840 01:49:25,142 --> 01:49:27,477 - Yeah, I don't think so. - Really? 1841 01:49:27,645 --> 01:49:32,690 Are you prepared to walk away from these pearls... 1842 01:49:33,901 --> 01:49:35,193 ...of delight? 1843 01:49:39,657 --> 01:49:43,326 Well... Yeah, this is tough. How would it work? 1844 01:49:43,494 --> 01:49:45,244 - Would Cal move out? - Yep, gone. 1845 01:49:45,412 --> 01:49:47,538 Kids move back in? 1846 01:49:47,706 --> 01:49:50,833 - Can I just have a little refresher? - Of course, baby. 1847 01:49:52,378 --> 01:49:54,379 This is why you fell in love, don't forget. 1848 01:49:54,546 --> 01:49:56,839 Yeah, I'm in. I'm moving in right now. 1849 01:49:57,007 --> 01:49:58,967 I'll drive 100 miles an hour to your house. 1850 01:49:59,134 --> 01:50:00,885 - Our house. Our house. - Our house, yeah. 1851 01:50:01,053 --> 01:50:03,346 No, I'm not. Come on. It's gonna be awkward. 1852 01:50:03,514 --> 01:50:05,139 - Hey, baby. - Hey. 1853 01:50:07,267 --> 01:50:09,018 Wait a minute. 1854 01:50:09,269 --> 01:50:12,480 You are ready to walk away... 1855 01:50:12,648 --> 01:50:16,317 ...from FHM magazine's number seven hottest ass... 1856 01:50:16,485 --> 01:50:20,321 ...for the girl who forgets to get your dry cleaning? 1857 01:50:20,489 --> 01:50:21,948 - Yeah. - Yeah? 1858 01:50:22,241 --> 01:50:24,909 - Yeah. - Good luck, weirdoes. 1859 01:50:25,077 --> 01:50:26,869 - Carley, come back here. - Yes, Susie Q? 1860 01:50:27,037 --> 01:50:30,039 There's something I've wanted to tell you for a really long time. 1861 01:50:31,291 --> 01:50:34,502 Thank you. Maybe one together? 1862 01:50:35,546 --> 01:50:38,548 - Susie Q, are those real? - Yeah. 1863 01:50:38,716 --> 01:50:41,634 Well, girl, you got some game. 1864 01:50:43,387 --> 01:50:45,346 - We'll see you on down the road. - Yeah. 1865 01:50:45,514 --> 01:50:47,390 - You seen Cal? - He's somewhere around here. 1866 01:50:47,558 --> 01:50:50,601 Hey, Cal! Baby, I'm coming. Thanks, baby. 1867 01:50:51,562 --> 01:50:54,230 - Maybe one more? - Oh, boys. 1868 01:50:54,398 --> 01:50:55,898 - She's crazy. - Oh, thank you. 1869 01:50:56,066 --> 01:50:57,734 - You did good. - Thanks, Mama. 1870 01:50:57,901 --> 01:50:59,402 He's amazing. 1871 01:50:59,570 --> 01:51:01,654 That was one heck of a day, I gotta say. 1872 01:51:01,822 --> 01:51:04,657 That's some nice driving there, cowboy. 1873 01:51:04,825 --> 01:51:07,618 - Hey, Daddy. - Well, hello, Reese. 1874 01:51:07,786 --> 01:51:12,373 Well, if it isn't our old mangy, transient grandfather. 1875 01:51:12,750 --> 01:51:15,501 Well said, grandson. Take that as a compliment. 1876 01:51:15,669 --> 01:51:18,838 Hey, Ricky, let me ask you a question. 1877 01:51:21,759 --> 01:51:23,426 Who did you win that race for? 1878 01:51:23,635 --> 01:51:25,803 Well, I sure as hell didn't win it for you. 1879 01:51:26,305 --> 01:51:27,889 I like hearing that. 1880 01:51:28,932 --> 01:51:31,434 I guess if I really gotta think about it... 1881 01:51:31,935 --> 01:51:34,645 ...I just went out there and drove. 1882 01:51:34,813 --> 01:51:37,023 And knew that no matter what happened... 1883 01:51:37,649 --> 01:51:43,196 ...my boys, my mama, and my lady would love me. 1884 01:51:44,448 --> 01:51:47,450 Hi, I'm his lady, I'm Susan. 1885 01:51:47,618 --> 01:51:50,411 I painted the car, I... We had sex. 1886 01:51:50,579 --> 01:51:52,538 - Is that right? - Yeah. 1887 01:51:52,706 --> 01:51:54,707 Well, I wish I could've been there for that. 1888 01:51:54,875 --> 01:51:57,335 Son, I'm proud of you. 1889 01:51:58,796 --> 01:52:03,299 Yep. Yeah, I think... I guess things are... 1890 01:52:04,384 --> 01:52:06,552 ...just pretty much perfect right now. 1891 01:52:08,472 --> 01:52:10,473 It's making me a little itchy. 1892 01:52:12,309 --> 01:52:15,603 Well, what do you say we get thrown out of an Applebee's? 1893 01:52:15,771 --> 01:52:18,147 - That sound like a good idea? - You read my mind, son. 1894 01:52:18,315 --> 01:52:20,858 - You can cuss at Applebee's. - Everybody pile in. 1895 01:52:21,026 --> 01:52:22,860 How does one get thrown out of Applebee's? 1896 01:52:23,028 --> 01:52:25,613 - You're about to find out. - Okay. 1897 01:52:25,781 --> 01:52:27,740 Watch, the doors actually open. 1898 01:52:59,022 --> 01:53:01,607 - Hey, I'm Ricky Bobby. - And I'm Cal Naughton Jr. 1899 01:53:01,775 --> 01:53:05,069 We just want to take a moment to talk to you about snow blindness in cats. 1900 01:53:05,237 --> 01:53:07,530 It's affecting more and more cats every year. 1901 01:53:07,698 --> 01:53:10,324 And it scares the living shit out of us. 1902 01:53:11,577 --> 01:53:14,370 Ninety-eight percent of us will die at some point in our lives. 1903 01:53:14,538 --> 01:53:17,456 The darkness is creeping towards you, whether you know it or not. 1904 01:53:17,624 --> 01:53:19,250 A little planning can go a long way. 1905 01:53:19,418 --> 01:53:21,419 Listen, leaving your big old corpse behind... 1906 01:53:21,587 --> 01:53:23,713 ...for your loved ones to deal with ain't cool. 1907 01:53:23,881 --> 01:53:26,299 That's why you should call McCreedy Funeral Service. 1908 01:53:26,592 --> 01:53:30,303 McCreedy's. They'll find the hole and build the box. 1909 01:53:30,470 --> 01:53:33,890 Bodies that look so good, you're gonna wanna talk to it. 1910 01:53:37,394 --> 01:53:39,729 We like to have a lot of laughs on the racetrack... 1911 01:53:39,897 --> 01:53:42,190 ...but today we wanna talk about something serious: 1912 01:53:42,357 --> 01:53:46,569 Packs of stray dogs that control most of the major cities. 1913 01:53:48,488 --> 01:53:52,533 That's packs of wild, vicious dogs that are controlling most of... 1914 01:53:52,701 --> 01:53:53,701 Sorry. 1915 01:53:54,203 --> 01:53:57,246 I like to picture Jesus like a mischievous badger. 1916 01:53:57,456 --> 01:53:59,498 Like a muscular trapeze artist. 1917 01:53:59,750 --> 01:54:03,085 Like a shapeshifter or a changeling, like that guy. 1918 01:54:03,253 --> 01:54:04,962 You ever hear of that TV show Manimal? 1919 01:54:05,172 --> 01:54:08,257 I like to think of Jesus as a figure skater... 1920 01:54:08,425 --> 01:54:10,092 ...who wears, like, a white outfit... 1921 01:54:10,260 --> 01:54:13,763 ...and he does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey. 1922 01:54:13,972 --> 01:54:15,932 Like a dirty old bum. 1923 01:54:16,099 --> 01:54:19,435 He comes up to me, I'm about to sock him one because he's a dirty old bum. 1924 01:54:19,603 --> 01:54:22,063 Then I said, "Wait a minute, I better not sock this guy. 1925 01:54:22,231 --> 01:54:23,522 Something special about him." 1926 01:54:23,732 --> 01:54:26,025 - Yeah, and it turns out it's Jesus. - Yeah. 1927 01:54:26,443 --> 01:54:28,611 One, two... Oh, God. 1928 01:54:28,779 --> 01:54:32,156 - Not again! No go. No go! - It's stuck. It's stuck. 1929 01:54:32,616 --> 01:54:34,283 We got two knives in my leg. 1930 01:54:34,451 --> 01:54:37,787 I know, but one is a safety knife. One is a safety. 1931 01:54:40,040 --> 01:54:41,499 It's coming out. It's coming out. 1932 01:54:41,667 --> 01:54:43,125 I'm choking on my own spit. 1933 01:54:43,293 --> 01:54:45,920 It hurts so bad I'm choking on my own spit. 1934 01:54:46,129 --> 01:54:48,547 Good night, guys. I'm losing a lot of blood. 1935 01:54:48,715 --> 01:54:50,549 - Just relax, man. - Good night. 1936 01:54:50,717 --> 01:54:53,302 Ricky! Wake-- 1937 01:54:54,930 --> 01:54:59,976 Sometimes, when it's late at night, I dress up like Donna Summers. 1938 01:55:00,143 --> 01:55:04,814 You know, I put on the skirt and the four-inch heels, man. 1939 01:55:05,023 --> 01:55:06,399 I love it. 1940 01:55:16,076 --> 01:55:17,994 Sorry. Sorry. 1941 01:55:19,621 --> 01:55:22,832 I would be honored if you would let me sign your cast. 1942 01:55:23,000 --> 01:55:25,584 And I would be honored if you'd sign my balls. 1943 01:55:25,752 --> 01:55:28,254 - Oh, baby, that is a good one. - Hey, what are you doing? 1944 02:00:45,655 --> 02:00:49,074 "Don't touch a one of them. They're mine." 1945 02:00:51,661 --> 02:00:54,663 So, what do you think that story was about? 1946 02:00:54,831 --> 02:00:57,666 Doesn't the bear symbolize the old South... 1947 02:00:57,834 --> 02:01:01,962 ...and the new dog, the encroaching industrialization of the North? 1948 02:01:02,130 --> 02:01:07,051 Duh. But the question is, should the reader feel relief or sadness... 1949 02:01:07,218 --> 02:01:08,844 ...at the passing of the old South? 1950 02:01:09,012 --> 02:01:10,679 Well, how about both? 1951 02:01:10,847 --> 02:01:13,891 Oh, I get it. Moral ambiguity. 1952 02:01:14,059 --> 02:01:18,437 The hallmark of all early 20th-century American fiction. 1953 02:01:18,605 --> 02:01:21,523 - Great analysis, Walker. - Thank you. 154509