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1
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Hi, Johnny. Can we come in for a moment?
2
00:00:20,029 --> 00:00:21,395
Yes. Yes.
3
00:00:23,331 --> 00:00:25,733
Thank you. Hello.
4
00:00:25,768 --> 00:00:27,434
Oh, hi.
5
00:00:27,469 --> 00:00:29,336
Is everything okay?
6
00:00:29,371 --> 00:00:31,104
We've got some sad news.
7
00:00:31,139 --> 00:00:34,975
Uh... someone very close has died.
8
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- Sorry.
- Oh...
9
00:00:37,879 --> 00:00:40,147
You remember Bob?
10
00:00:40,182 --> 00:00:43,150
No...
11
00:00:43,185 --> 00:00:45,085
You broke into his cabin and had sex
12
00:00:45,119 --> 00:00:48,155
while he and his wife
were in the next room.
13
00:00:48,189 --> 00:00:50,256
Oh... That's Bob.
14
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,559
Yeah, Bob, who was on the town council.
15
00:00:52,593 --> 00:00:55,162
He's on the town council,
yeah... Oh, Bob died?
16
00:00:55,196 --> 00:00:56,963
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
17
00:00:56,998 --> 00:00:59,933
No. No, not Bob. Bob's brother, Carl, died.
18
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,041
I don't know Carl.
19
00:01:09,076 --> 00:01:11,811
We barely know Bob.
20
00:01:11,845 --> 00:01:14,314
Carl thought so highly of you, Johnny.
21
00:01:14,348 --> 00:01:17,483
Oh... really. Well, that's nice.
22
00:01:17,518 --> 00:01:19,285
No, I honestly don't know the man.
23
00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:21,688
Well, understandably, Bob is uh...
24
00:01:21,722 --> 00:01:23,856
Pretty broken up by all of this
25
00:01:23,890 --> 00:01:27,793
and he asked me to ask you
if you'd be willing to um...
26
00:01:27,828 --> 00:01:31,731
be a pallbearer at Carl's funeral.
27
00:01:31,765 --> 00:01:34,466
A pallbearer... Mm-hmm.
28
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:38,904
at Carl's funeral. Well, I don't, um...
29
00:01:38,939 --> 00:01:41,741
I, you know, I-I'm flattered.
30
00:01:41,775 --> 00:01:43,709
It's-it's quite
an honour to be-
31
00:01:43,744 --> 00:01:45,144
- I knew he would say yes.
- Yeah.
32
00:01:45,178 --> 00:01:47,880
And-and normally I would... I would.
33
00:01:47,914 --> 00:01:50,715
I-I-I, you know, but
my back. I have uh...
34
00:01:50,750 --> 00:01:52,884
I... I-I have back issues.
35
00:01:52,918 --> 00:01:54,352
- Honey? You know, my back.
- What?
36
00:01:54,386 --> 00:01:55,586
- The thing with my back.
- Your back!
37
00:01:55,621 --> 00:01:58,389
Oh, it's... it's terrible.
38
00:01:58,423 --> 00:02:02,260
And his arms are so weak.
Little muscles like corn nuts.
39
00:02:02,294 --> 00:02:04,262
Yeah, yeah, we're just talking
about my back, sweetheart.
40
00:02:04,296 --> 00:02:06,530
It's awful.
41
00:02:06,565 --> 00:02:08,466
I don't know what we're gonna tell Bob.
42
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:11,236
He's gonna be so disappointed.
43
00:02:11,270 --> 00:02:14,571
Yeah... yeah. Well, life can
kick you in the teeth sometimes.
44
00:02:14,605 --> 00:02:18,008
Mm. Well, that's not gonna help
Bob out too much there, Johnny.
45
00:02:18,042 --> 00:02:20,043
Mm. Yeah. Shouldn't bother Carl.
46
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- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
47
00:02:43,801 --> 00:02:45,921
I said bring
the goddamn diaper bag!
48
00:02:45,936 --> 00:02:48,871
Uh, babe, I'm getting the cooler right now
49
00:02:48,906 --> 00:02:50,439
in case you didn't notice.
50
00:02:50,473 --> 00:02:51,640
Well, Denim has needed a diaper change
51
00:02:51,675 --> 00:02:53,475
since before we left the house!
52
00:02:53,510 --> 00:02:55,077
Oh my God.
53
00:02:55,112 --> 00:02:56,879
What?
54
00:02:56,914 --> 00:02:59,881
Some townie douchebag
is moving in next door.
55
00:02:59,916 --> 00:03:03,618
They've got a baby.
56
00:03:04,253 --> 00:03:05,553
Agh!
57
00:03:05,587 --> 00:03:06,955
Is there a gun?
58
00:03:12,028 --> 00:03:13,228
- Oh... no.
- Jesus! What the hell did you
59
00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:15,030
- throw that for?!
- It's still too hot.
60
00:03:15,064 --> 00:03:17,065
It's 20 seconds in the microwave
not 20 minutes, you tool!
61
00:03:17,099 --> 00:03:19,200
You've lost it. You've lost it.
62
00:03:19,234 --> 00:03:22,002
What the hell are you so rattled about?
63
00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,842
- What are you doing?
- Um, I'm gonna go stay at Ted's
64
00:03:27,876 --> 00:03:29,676
because I've been on enough spring breaks
65
00:03:29,711 --> 00:03:33,513
to know how this is gonna
end, and it's not... not good.
66
00:03:33,548 --> 00:03:35,782
You're just gonna leave
me here with these people?!
67
00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:37,751
Yeah. Like I don't feel good about it.
68
00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,387
Um, hello! Hello!
69
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:42,756
Is anybody in that hollow chest?
70
00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:55,935
Hey, Bob. How are you holding up?
71
00:03:55,970 --> 00:03:57,904
Oh... you know. Not bad.
72
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,175
You know, they say death is just life
73
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:04,377
except you're not here.
74
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,146
You're somewhere else, you know? But...
75
00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:09,815
But that's okay because
at least you're somewhere,
76
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:10,984
you know? But when does...
77
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,219
When does somewhere become there?
78
00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,388
And when does there become here?
79
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:16,655
- And I... it
- Just, just a coffee, please.
80
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:17,390
- For here?
- Yeah.
81
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:18,424
Okay.
82
00:04:26,332 --> 00:04:28,100
Bob.
83
00:04:28,134 --> 00:04:30,769
- Hi, Johnny.
- Oh, hi... hi.
84
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,138
You mind if I join you?
85
00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,873
I could use a little company today.
86
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,509
Oh, no, no. You-you stay where you are
87
00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:40,712
and I'll... I'll come over there.
88
00:04:40,746 --> 00:04:42,213
Oh! Ooh, baby.
89
00:04:42,247 --> 00:04:43,782
Ooh, wow. Ugh.
90
00:04:46,385 --> 00:04:50,573
Yikes! That's... That hurts today.
91
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:54,058
Yeah, Roland, he told me
about your back and I...
92
00:04:54,093 --> 00:04:56,027
I am so sorry.
93
00:04:56,061 --> 00:04:58,462
Well... well, I'm the one who's sorry, Bob.
94
00:04:58,496 --> 00:05:02,600
You know, hearing about your,
uh, brother... C-C-Chris-
95
00:05:02,634 --> 00:05:04,802
- Carl.
- Carl. Yeah, he was a good man.
96
00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:06,503
A good man. He admired you, Johnny.
97
00:05:06,538 --> 00:05:07,605
And I him. Yeah.
98
00:05:07,639 --> 00:05:09,440
And I him.
99
00:05:09,474 --> 00:05:11,675
Listen, uh, I understand about your back...
100
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,778
Yeah...
101
00:05:13,812 --> 00:05:16,981
And... I was just uh.. Just wondering
102
00:05:17,015 --> 00:05:20,050
if, uh, maybe you could say
a few words at the funeral?
103
00:05:22,754 --> 00:05:25,122
Well, the thing, uh, the thing is, uh, Bob,
104
00:05:25,156 --> 00:05:28,359
I-I-I don't feel I
deserve that... honor.
105
00:05:28,393 --> 00:05:31,828
Oh, see, I'm uh... I'm
no good at these things.
106
00:05:31,863 --> 00:05:35,031
You know, you, you're... You're polished.
107
00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:36,900
You know, you're... You're well-spoken.
108
00:05:36,934 --> 00:05:38,869
Oh no. No, no. Not really. Not really.
109
00:05:38,903 --> 00:05:41,405
I mean, I'm good one on one,
110
00:05:41,439 --> 00:05:43,339
but not-not good in a public situation.
111
00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:44,741
I clam up pret-pretty good.
112
00:05:44,776 --> 00:05:46,943
As a favor, Johnny.
113
00:05:46,978 --> 00:05:49,045
He must have had a few close friends,
114
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,315
- somebody that
- No one.
115
00:05:52,349 --> 00:05:55,252
Well, sure. Sure. I can
say a few words, Bob.
116
00:05:55,286 --> 00:05:58,521
I'll say a few words.
117
00:06:01,659 --> 00:06:04,294
Have you seen the couple that checked in?
118
00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:08,331
They're like really scummy.
Like... very skaggy people,
119
00:06:08,365 --> 00:06:11,200
who happened to produce a child
120
00:06:11,234 --> 00:06:13,102
that hasn't been taken away from them yet.
121
00:06:13,136 --> 00:06:14,671
Imagine being related to them.
122
00:06:14,705 --> 00:06:16,439
No, I can't. It's too early.
123
00:06:16,473 --> 00:06:21,010
- They're my cousins.
- Oh! Well, the um...
124
00:06:21,044 --> 00:06:23,345
The baby's relatively normal looking.
125
00:06:23,379 --> 00:06:24,746
No, no they're definitely skaggy.
126
00:06:24,781 --> 00:06:28,082
My God, they're so skaggy.
127
00:06:28,517 --> 00:06:30,618
Hmm. Wait, so you're related to Carl?
128
00:06:30,652 --> 00:06:32,854
Not genetically.
129
00:06:32,888 --> 00:06:36,290
My mom's sister was married to
Carl. Carl is Sean's step-dad.
130
00:06:36,325 --> 00:06:37,726
And was that a factor
in the cause of death?
131
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,294
I wouldn't be surprised.
132
00:06:40,329 --> 00:06:42,730
They broke up just before
Sean got Bree pregnant.
133
00:06:42,764 --> 00:06:45,199
Or someone got Bree pregnant.
134
00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:47,234
I mean, Bree's not exactly fussy
135
00:06:47,268 --> 00:06:50,237
when it comes to introducing
men to her vagina.
136
00:06:50,271 --> 00:06:51,671
Mm. Charming.
137
00:06:57,112 --> 00:07:00,147
Tell me it's not always this clean in here.
138
00:07:00,181 --> 00:07:01,215
No, it's-it's always this clean.
139
00:07:01,249 --> 00:07:03,916
Oh... it smells so fresh!
140
00:07:03,951 --> 00:07:05,785
Uh... that's the Febreeze.
141
00:07:05,819 --> 00:07:07,987
I was... I was eating
Indian last night, so...
142
00:07:08,021 --> 00:07:10,523
So much better than the motel.
143
00:07:10,558 --> 00:07:13,226
At least you know what the smell is.
144
00:07:20,334 --> 00:07:22,100
Oh, ho-oh! Oh...
145
00:07:22,135 --> 00:07:24,202
Hey, come on now, you two, Oh, hi! Hi.
146
00:07:24,237 --> 00:07:26,838
- Come on.
- Hi there. Ooh!
147
00:07:26,873 --> 00:07:30,242
Oh-ho-ho... there's a good
girl. There's a good girl!
148
00:07:30,277 --> 00:07:34,045
- They're so...
- Well, Macy and Fifer are just staying with me
149
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,514
for a couple of weeks until
they get back on their feet.
150
00:07:35,548 --> 00:07:37,483
Isn't that right, Fifey?
151
00:07:37,517 --> 00:07:39,718
Yeah, your worms are almost
all gone, aren't they?
152
00:07:39,753 --> 00:07:41,619
Yeah...
153
00:07:41,654 --> 00:07:43,721
Is that a diaper on that little cutie?
154
00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:46,891
Yup. Oh! You know what though? Whoa
-'kay. This is just...
155
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,959
This is because she's...
She's... She's scared right now.
156
00:07:48,994 --> 00:07:50,495
But don't worry.
157
00:07:50,529 --> 00:07:52,530
I can tell that you
are gonna win them over.
158
00:07:52,564 --> 00:07:54,766
- Yeah... ?
- Yeah.
159
00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:58,135
I just-I haven't um...
been... I haven't-I don't-
160
00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,969
I'm not around dogs a lot,
so...
161
00:08:00,004 --> 00:08:00,870
No, you know what? Don't even worry about.
162
00:08:00,905 --> 00:08:03,106
Just... for tonight,
163
00:08:03,140 --> 00:08:05,676
think of them as... our kids.
164
00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:08,578
Right? Oh yeah...
165
00:08:08,613 --> 00:08:10,681
John, you're speaking at the funeral?
166
00:08:10,715 --> 00:08:13,417
The man was weeping.
What was I supposed to do?
167
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,084
You take his hands in yours,
168
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:18,354
you look him in the eye, and say, "no."
169
00:08:18,388 --> 00:08:21,023
What do you say about guy
you couldn't care less about?
170
00:08:21,057 --> 00:08:23,793
Oh, it's Gord what's-his-name's
funeral all over again.
171
00:08:23,827 --> 00:08:25,027
- Who's Gord
what's-his-name? - Exactly.
172
00:08:25,061 --> 00:08:27,630
He was some kind of
crew-person on Sunrise Bay.
173
00:08:27,664 --> 00:08:31,033
I made an obligatory
appearance at the service
174
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,703
and his hysterical girlfriend
cornered me into saying a few words.
175
00:08:33,737 --> 00:08:35,097
I didn't have a thought in my head,
176
00:08:35,104 --> 00:08:36,672
so I just stood up and sang "Danny Boy."
177
00:08:36,707 --> 00:08:38,039
Not a dry eye in the house.
178
00:08:38,073 --> 00:08:39,106
Huh...
179
00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:43,545
God, I love this bed.
180
00:08:46,649 --> 00:08:48,750
I'm so glad you're not my brother.
181
00:08:48,784 --> 00:08:51,653
Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty glad about that too.
182
00:08:51,687 --> 00:08:54,689
But let me assure you,
tonight it is just you and me.
183
00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:08,802
Um...
184
00:09:08,837 --> 00:09:12,038
Hey, the little guy is looking at us.
185
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:15,409
Oh, yeah, dogs sometimes do that.
186
00:09:23,150 --> 00:09:27,621
Um... maybe we could
invite it to... go? Go away.
187
00:09:27,655 --> 00:09:29,923
Oh, she's fine. She's fine. She's fine.
188
00:09:34,228 --> 00:09:37,363
Oh, now you want in on
the action, too, huh?
189
00:09:37,397 --> 00:09:41,000
Okay, the... the big one
is sniffing the diaper.
190
00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:42,734
Does... does that mean it's full?
191
00:09:42,769 --> 00:09:44,303
- Okay.
- What is... ?
192
00:09:44,337 --> 00:09:47,139
Okay, you guys, just give
us a little bit of time here
193
00:09:47,173 --> 00:09:50,409
and then you can come
sleep with us, okay? Okay?
194
00:09:50,443 --> 00:09:52,244
Okay, where were we?
195
00:09:52,279 --> 00:09:53,913
- Hmm...
- Mm...
196
00:09:58,718 --> 00:10:01,353
Out! Out!
197
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:10,161
Pass the chips!
198
00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:14,498
Hello. Excuse me.
199
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:15,699
Excuse me!
200
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:17,101
- Hey!
- Excuse me!
201
00:10:17,136 --> 00:10:19,370
- Hey! Go.
- Excuse me, hi.
202
00:10:19,405 --> 00:10:21,072
Oh, Buttons,
203
00:10:21,106 --> 00:10:22,740
I don't think you're
invited to this one, huh?
204
00:10:22,774 --> 00:10:24,674
I don't wanna be invited to this one.
205
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:25,943
Hey, look
who it is. It's your dad.
206
00:10:25,977 --> 00:10:27,411
- He's here to take you home!
- Yeah, yeah...
207
00:10:27,445 --> 00:10:30,013
- Remember that?!
- Yeah!
208
00:10:30,048 --> 00:10:30,747
You remember that one?!
209
00:10:30,781 --> 00:10:33,283
No.
210
00:10:33,318 --> 00:10:35,352
- I'm just pumpin' your tires, bud!
- Okay.
211
00:10:35,386 --> 00:10:37,220
Look, what you gotta understand
212
00:10:37,255 --> 00:10:39,522
is that my ex-stepdad just died,
213
00:10:39,557 --> 00:10:42,059
so we're here celebrating his life, okay?
214
00:10:42,093 --> 00:10:44,461
Okay, you all seem very devastated by this.
215
00:10:44,495 --> 00:10:46,496
I need you to turn-mm.
216
00:10:46,530 --> 00:10:50,066
I need you to turn the music down, okay?
217
00:10:50,100 --> 00:10:53,736
Because I-I'm trying to get
couple hours... Sleep tonight.
218
00:10:53,771 --> 00:10:57,106
Oh, sleep? Well, you know
who's sleeping forever, bud?
219
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:58,842
- Your ex-stepdad, yeah.
- My ex-stepdad, yeah.
220
00:10:58,876 --> 00:11:01,410
- Yup, yeah.
- Damn, that's sad...
221
00:11:01,445 --> 00:11:03,212
- Okay, thank you. If you could just turn it..
- Are we out of mix?
222
00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,913
Thank you.
223
00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:09,352
Oh my God.
224
00:11:09,386 --> 00:11:10,752
Don't...
225
00:11:10,787 --> 00:11:14,756
Oh my... Oh my God!
226
00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:16,225
I am so sorry. They got me...
227
00:11:18,362 --> 00:11:19,595
They got me wasted.
228
00:11:19,629 --> 00:11:21,464
- Mm-hmm. - I
hate them, okay?
229
00:11:21,498 --> 00:11:23,632
I hate them so much.
230
00:11:23,666 --> 00:11:27,235
You smell... very flammable right now.
231
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:29,537
Yes, I'm sure...
232
00:11:29,571 --> 00:11:33,574
I'm gonna need you to get
them to turn it down, okay?
233
00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:35,377
- Yes!
- Yeah.
234
00:11:37,579 --> 00:11:40,815
- Hi, Denim.
- Hi, sweetie pie.
235
00:11:40,849 --> 00:11:42,750
David, I so sorry.
236
00:11:55,823 --> 00:11:57,224
- Johnny.
- Hello, Bob.
237
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,859
Moira, so good of you to come.
238
00:11:59,894 --> 00:12:02,796
John said we had no choice.
239
00:12:02,830 --> 00:12:04,231
Listen, we have some good seats down front.
240
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:05,385
Oh, that's very nice.
241
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:11,537
Boy, what a beautiful day for a... funeral.
242
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:24,008
Bob... in case I wanna
mention this in my remarks,
243
00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:26,375
how-how did Carl go?
244
00:12:26,410 --> 00:12:29,846
Well, it was a bit of a
freak accident, really.
245
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,215
Apparently, he was trying to
unhook his belt from the ceiling fan
246
00:12:33,250 --> 00:12:36,686
and... apparently it... It
got knotted around his neck.
247
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,454
What?
248
00:12:38,488 --> 00:12:39,756
Yeah, you know, you'd think the whole thing
249
00:12:39,790 --> 00:12:41,991
would've come down, you know,
250
00:12:42,026 --> 00:12:46,646
keeping a fan and a body
spinning up there for two days.
251
00:12:46,696 --> 00:12:50,032
But uh... Carl found the studs on that one.
252
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,867
Oh... Yeah...
253
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:52,969
That's craftsmanship.
254
00:12:53,003 --> 00:12:55,104
Oh, yeah.
255
00:12:55,138 --> 00:12:58,007
But that uh... That was Carl.
256
00:13:05,982 --> 00:13:08,483
Do you even know what that stain is or... ?
257
00:13:08,517 --> 00:13:11,386
Uh... I'm worried if I
did, I wouldn't clean it up.
258
00:13:13,922 --> 00:13:16,257
Why are you cleaning it up?
259
00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:21,029
Sadly, um, I threw most of
the broken glass you see here.
260
00:13:21,063 --> 00:13:23,097
You were a bit of a mess last night.
261
00:13:23,131 --> 00:13:24,831
They told you?
262
00:13:24,866 --> 00:13:27,968
Oh, no, no. We had a
full-blown conversation.
263
00:13:28,003 --> 00:13:30,537
You were barely clinging to consciousness.
264
00:13:30,571 --> 00:13:33,572
Oh. Sorry.
265
00:13:34,809 --> 00:13:36,877
Did I try and make out with you?
266
00:13:36,911 --> 00:13:39,746
- Mm-mm.
- Good.
267
00:13:39,780 --> 00:13:42,149
But now I'm worried I
made out with someone else.
268
00:13:42,183 --> 00:13:44,551
Uh, it's kind of my go-to
when I'm a little boozy.
269
00:13:44,585 --> 00:13:48,287
Mm. Mine's shame eating,
so yours sounds more fun.
270
00:13:50,124 --> 00:13:51,590
Huh.
271
00:13:51,625 --> 00:13:54,227
Um...
272
00:13:54,261 --> 00:13:56,062
Is this your thong or... ?
273
00:13:56,096 --> 00:14:00,233
Yeah, no. Bree's a real classy girl.
274
00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:02,535
Uh, his was wrapped around the remote.
275
00:14:02,569 --> 00:14:04,170
Don't worry, I threw out the remote.
276
00:14:04,204 --> 00:14:05,638
Hmm.
277
00:14:07,874 --> 00:14:09,508
Well, it looks like
they have a side hustle.
278
00:14:09,543 --> 00:14:12,945
Uh, I'm pretty sure she strips. Why?
279
00:14:12,979 --> 00:14:15,113
Oh no, this is just a lot of um...
280
00:14:15,148 --> 00:14:18,283
- Yes, it is.
- Marijuana.
281
00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:20,586
And if you're offering, my answer is yes.
282
00:14:27,193 --> 00:14:29,528
Thank you for that, Shannon.
283
00:14:29,562 --> 00:14:33,097
Nothing says we'll miss you like
an excerpt from "Breaking Dawn,"
284
00:14:33,131 --> 00:14:35,466
one of Carl's favourites
of the Twilight movies.
285
00:14:36,669 --> 00:14:39,303
Now, to say a few words,
286
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,272
I'd like to bring up a close friend
287
00:14:41,306 --> 00:14:43,140
and one of Carl's personal heroes...
288
00:14:44,977 --> 00:14:46,510
Johnny Rose.
289
00:14:55,053 --> 00:14:56,587
Thank you... minister.
290
00:14:58,656 --> 00:15:02,059
Carl...
291
00:15:02,093 --> 00:15:03,526
What to say about Carl... ?
292
00:15:05,997 --> 00:15:09,299
Once so full of life
293
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:12,735
and now... lying... very, very close to me.
294
00:15:15,038 --> 00:15:16,706
What a terrible thing death is...
295
00:15:19,076 --> 00:15:22,078
And yet, for Carl,
296
00:15:22,112 --> 00:15:24,113
pretty much an all-consuming
thing at this point.
297
00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:28,084
He-he was a- he was
a man who loved...
298
00:15:30,186 --> 00:15:31,553
A good sweater I'm told.
299
00:15:34,056 --> 00:15:36,558
And-and he loved the feel
of big tool in his hand,
300
00:15:36,593 --> 00:15:39,161
am I right, Bob?
301
00:15:39,195 --> 00:15:41,563
And I wonder,
302
00:15:41,598 --> 00:15:45,199
when Carl was spinning
around on that ceiling fan
303
00:15:45,234 --> 00:15:47,935
that he was so very proud of,
304
00:15:47,969 --> 00:15:51,539
was he ever thinking of this town...
305
00:15:51,573 --> 00:15:54,342
where he was born where he lived,
306
00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:56,477
and where he died... Where he died.
307
00:16:00,382 --> 00:16:03,484
But I-I-I'm not
up here today
308
00:16:03,519 --> 00:16:07,720
to speak about dying in Schitt's Creek.
309
00:16:07,755 --> 00:16:11,991
I'm-I'm here-I'm-
310
00:16:12,026 --> 00:16:14,327
Where the hell are you, Sean?!
311
00:16:14,362 --> 00:16:16,630
At a bar?!
312
00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:18,298
If anyone should be in
a bar right now, it's me.
313
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:22,169
Sean!
314
00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:26,540
Excuse me.
315
00:16:26,574 --> 00:16:30,075
Well... I-I am here to talk
about dying in Schitt's Creek!
316
00:16:30,109 --> 00:16:33,679
I'm here to talk about the
misery of our lives here
317
00:16:33,713 --> 00:16:36,715
and how we might never escape this place,
318
00:16:36,749 --> 00:16:39,652
and how we do not wanna end
up in a coffin, like Carl,
319
00:16:39,686 --> 00:16:42,754
here in this... godforsaken-
320
00:16:42,789 --> 00:16:46,158
♪ Oh, Danny boy, ♪
321
00:16:48,461 --> 00:16:53,799
♪ the pipes, the pipes are calling... ♪
322
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:02,007
♪ From Glen to Glen
323
00:17:02,041 --> 00:17:04,542
♪ And down the Mountain side ♪
324
00:17:07,714 --> 00:17:09,748
♪ but God... ♪
325
00:17:13,085 --> 00:17:16,220
So... I'm sorry
326
00:17:16,254 --> 00:17:20,290
if, earlier, I wasn't
sensitive to your animal issues.
327
00:17:20,325 --> 00:17:23,060
And if it's any consolation,
the dogs told me to tell you
328
00:17:23,095 --> 00:17:27,331
that they're super embarrassed
about their behaviour, too.
329
00:17:27,365 --> 00:17:30,767
Well, I am dating a vet.
I should've known that...
330
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:33,136
There'd be slutty little
animals running around.
331
00:17:33,170 --> 00:17:35,004
And I only take in the slutty ones, so...
332
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:38,374
I just... I didn't know what to do
333
00:17:38,408 --> 00:17:41,377
because I love the dogs so much, but...
334
00:17:41,411 --> 00:17:45,949
You know, I also really love...
335
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:50,653
The way that our relationship
is going right now... so much.
336
00:17:50,687 --> 00:17:53,155
Mm... such a sweet face.
337
00:17:53,189 --> 00:17:55,691
So, to get you more
comfortable around animals...
338
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,693
Not a puppy, Ted! I...
339
00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,328
No, that would be cruel to the puppy.
340
00:17:59,363 --> 00:18:01,697
No, I got you... this.
341
00:18:04,434 --> 00:18:06,969
"Opening your heart to
animals: A guide to the benefits
342
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:10,038
of caring for something
other than yourself."
343
00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:11,774
It's a very specific book.
344
00:18:11,808 --> 00:18:14,843
You might wanna check out page 37.
345
00:18:18,047 --> 00:18:19,681
Is it a credit card?
346
00:18:19,715 --> 00:18:22,651
No. It's a room key...
347
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,320
To the premium king suite
348
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,389
at the Holiday Inn Express in Elmdale,
349
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:30,125
and they have a very strict
no pets allowed policy.
350
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,660
Well... it just so happens
351
00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:35,062
that I have packed my overnight bag.
352
00:18:35,097 --> 00:18:37,165
- Hmm.
- Come here.
353
00:18:40,135 --> 00:18:41,702
- Thank you.
- No. Thank you.
354
00:18:41,736 --> 00:18:43,137
- No. Thank you!
- Thank you.
355
00:18:43,172 --> 00:18:43,871
- Thank you!
- Thank you.
356
00:18:43,906 --> 00:18:44,906
Thank you!
357
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,477
You know where I got my hat, brah?
358
00:18:50,512 --> 00:18:52,179
Where?
359
00:18:52,213 --> 00:18:54,281
"Assholes' R 'Us".
360
00:19:02,056 --> 00:19:04,191
Oh! Ow!
361
00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:06,759
Oh! Oh my God.
362
00:19:06,794 --> 00:19:08,829
Oh my God! We need to go.
363
00:19:08,863 --> 00:19:10,830
We need to go! We need to go!
364
00:19:13,333 --> 00:19:15,400
I don't
see it... I don't see it.
365
00:19:15,435 --> 00:19:16,501
- Let me see
it- - Shhh...
366
00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:24,977
The?!
367
00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:26,651
Shhhhhh!
368
00:19:31,084 --> 00:19:32,784
My hat.. I'm wearing it.
369
00:19:32,819 --> 00:19:34,052
I'm wearing it...
370
00:19:59,111 --> 00:20:00,344
So I'm thinking to myself,
371
00:20:00,378 --> 00:20:02,814
"Oh, God, what if die here?"
372
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:06,184
Mm. That was not lost on anyone.
373
00:20:06,218 --> 00:20:08,152
Uh, let's pilfer a few sandwiches
374
00:20:08,187 --> 00:20:09,753
and make a gracious French exit.
375
00:20:09,788 --> 00:20:11,588
Good idea.
376
00:20:15,193 --> 00:20:19,661
Moira! Your "Danny Boy"... What a voice.
377
00:20:19,964 --> 00:20:21,665
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.
378
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,834
I-I'd really like you to
sing at my cousin's funeral.
379
00:20:23,868 --> 00:20:25,336
She's not dead, but...
380
00:20:25,370 --> 00:20:28,372
She's been coughing a lot lately.
381
00:20:28,406 --> 00:20:30,808
Moira, before they close the coffin,
382
00:20:30,842 --> 00:20:33,210
One more chorus for Carl?
383
00:20:33,244 --> 00:20:35,511
Please?
384
00:20:39,950 --> 00:20:41,451
Take your time, honey.
385
00:20:46,790 --> 00:20:49,959
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh ooh ooh... ♪
386
00:20:52,528 --> 00:20:55,029
♪ Oh... ♪
387
00:20:57,032 --> 00:20:59,401
♪ Danny... ♪
388
00:21:06,041 --> 00:21:07,476
♪ Boy... ♪
389
00:21:11,046 --> 00:21:13,982
♪ The pipes, the pipes are... ♪
390
00:21:16,518 --> 00:21:18,719
♪ Call-all-all-ling... ♪
391
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,288
It's our annual
392
00:21:20,290 --> 00:21:22,323
Hawaiian night.
393
00:21:22,325 --> 00:21:24,259
Pineapples, pig on the spit,
394
00:21:24,261 --> 00:21:25,593
the whole nine yards.
395
00:21:25,595 --> 00:21:27,428
Oh, you, uh, roast pig?
396
00:21:27,430 --> 00:21:28,897
We do!
397
00:21:28,899 --> 00:21:30,765
So, who's pig do we have to
398
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:31,832
slaughter to get an invite?
399
00:21:32,924 --> 00:21:35,924
- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -
- www.addic7ed.com -
28806
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