Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:10,319
( Theme music playing )
2
00:00:20,605 --> 00:00:22,005
I can't even believe
I'm getting this number.
3
00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,591
It didn't even
take me that long.
4
00:00:23,694 --> 00:00:26,305
- We're easy in New York
- Jesus. This is unbelievable.
5
00:00:26,412 --> 00:00:28,272
- We'll go out to dinner.
- Cool.
6
00:00:28,657 --> 00:00:30,004
- I like to eat.
- And you know what?
7
00:00:30,101 --> 00:00:31,800
You don't have to worry
about choking because
8
00:00:31,908 --> 00:00:34,808
- I'm great at the heimlich.
- Oh, well, God, I mean
9
00:00:34,894 --> 00:00:37,147
if I wasn't gonna give you my
number before, that just did.
10
00:00:37,435 --> 00:00:39,500
- That's an impressive skill. Yeah.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,814
Are you leaving right now?
Because I don't think we should
12
00:00:41,901 --> 00:00:42,962
run into each other again.
13
00:00:43,104 --> 00:00:44,569
- Yeah, that would be so awkward.
- That would be awkward.
14
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:47,102
- So, I'm not leaving just yet,
- So, I'm gonna...
15
00:00:47,340 --> 00:00:48,679
It'd be great if you could
get out of here.
16
00:00:48,713 --> 00:00:50,175
- We have to save something for dinner...
- There you go.
17
00:00:50,271 --> 00:00:51,876
Because if we have
too good a time here--
18
00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:55,216
- I suggest get out.
- I kind of like that, actually.
19
00:00:55,250 --> 00:00:57,753
- ( Laughs ) Bye.
- I'm gonna call you.
20
00:01:00,010 --> 00:01:01,676
Hey hey, look who it is.
21
00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:03,752
- Hey! Rosie!
- Larry David.
22
00:01:03,786 --> 00:01:05,960
- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.
23
00:01:05,994 --> 00:01:07,823
- You look fantastic.
- You know what? So do you.
24
00:01:07,857 --> 00:01:09,629
- You like the art?
- To tell you the truth...
25
00:01:09,663 --> 00:01:11,527
- What?
- ...Forget about the art.
26
00:01:11,562 --> 00:01:12,961
What?
27
00:01:12,995 --> 00:01:15,994
I met the most
fantastic woman tonight.
28
00:01:16,029 --> 00:01:18,061
I-- I'm--
I can't even believe it.
29
00:01:18,095 --> 00:01:19,862
- Are you kidding me?
- Swear to God.
30
00:01:19,897 --> 00:01:21,831
- So did I.
- You're kidding.
31
00:01:21,865 --> 00:01:23,632
I felt it right away.
You know how you can feel it?
32
00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:26,237
Yes. I mean, who knows what's gonna happen?
But it's a great start.
33
00:01:26,272 --> 00:01:28,171
Oh no, I think something's gonna happen.
You know how lesbians are.
34
00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:30,774
You know what a lesbian brings
on a second date? A u-haul.
35
00:01:30,809 --> 00:01:32,976
- ( Laughs )
- That's right, a u-haul. They move in together.
36
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,913
- They move right in.
- I looked at her and I thought hyphen name.
37
00:01:35,947 --> 00:01:38,218
Kids are gonna get to know her.
It's all gonna work.
38
00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:40,620
- That's lovely.
- I'm happy for you I really am.
39
00:01:40,654 --> 00:01:42,890
I'm completely smitten.
She smiled.
40
00:01:42,924 --> 00:01:46,161
- At you?
- At me. Smiling at an old bald man.
41
00:01:46,195 --> 00:01:48,999
- Mine is so vivacious.
- Mine's vivacious too.
42
00:01:49,033 --> 00:01:50,200
And built.
43
00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:53,872
A body I would like
to get my hands on.
44
00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,942
- Ooh!
- Exactly.
45
00:01:55,976 --> 00:01:58,712
- I know what you mean. You know what?
- What?
46
00:01:58,746 --> 00:02:00,481
- She's Jewish.
- No kidding.
47
00:02:00,515 --> 00:02:01,816
- Yeah.
- Can I tell you something?
48
00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:03,052
- What?
- Mine too.
49
00:02:03,087 --> 00:02:04,288
- Really?
- Yes.
50
00:02:04,321 --> 00:02:05,857
- Unbelievable.
- Cheers.
51
00:02:05,891 --> 00:02:08,026
- L'Chaim.
- L'Chaim.
52
00:02:08,060 --> 00:02:09,895
- It's too good to be true.
- Yours is Jewish?
53
00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,298
Yeah, I knew from her name.
O'Donnell, Irish, duh.
54
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:15,104
Yeah, right.
Yeah, Cohn, Jewish.
55
00:02:15,138 --> 00:02:16,740
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
56
00:02:16,774 --> 00:02:19,610
- What did you say? Cohn?
- Mmm.
57
00:02:19,645 --> 00:02:21,181
Jane Cohn?
58
00:02:28,994 --> 00:02:31,030
Holy shit.
59
00:02:31,064 --> 00:02:33,600
Are you kidding me?
Is this a joke?
60
00:02:33,635 --> 00:02:36,172
- How's it a joke? Here's the number.
- How'd you get that?
61
00:02:36,206 --> 00:02:37,808
- She gave it to me.
- She gave it to you?
62
00:02:37,843 --> 00:02:40,079
What am I, a magician?
I know that you have a card on you?
63
00:02:40,113 --> 00:02:42,282
Why would she give us both her card?
It doesn't make any sense.
64
00:02:42,316 --> 00:02:44,250
Obviously she's bi-sexual.
65
00:02:44,285 --> 00:02:46,254
- Fucking hate that.
- What is that?
66
00:02:46,289 --> 00:02:48,593
What is that anyway?
I mean, pick a side already, right?
67
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,330
- Absolutely.
- Can't you make up your mind?
68
00:02:50,364 --> 00:02:52,333
What is this?
They have to have sex with everyone?
69
00:02:52,367 --> 00:02:55,305
- They have to do everything?
- Half the population isn't enough for them?
70
00:02:55,339 --> 00:02:57,408
- They want everybody? They're so selfish?
- I can't believe it.
71
00:02:57,442 --> 00:03:00,581
She did not seem
the type to me.
72
00:03:00,615 --> 00:03:03,954
- So what are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
73
00:03:03,988 --> 00:03:06,992
I guess you'll just have to back
away because most of these women
74
00:03:07,027 --> 00:03:08,996
who say they're bi are really
gay and they just can't say it.
75
00:03:09,031 --> 00:03:11,133
- Back away? Me back away?
- Yeah, I think you should.
76
00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:13,838
Why would I back away?
This woman is crazy about me.
77
00:03:13,873 --> 00:03:15,539
- I don't believe you.
- You don't believe me?
78
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:17,377
- Really?
- Because I felt it. My body felt it, okay?
79
00:03:17,411 --> 00:03:20,283
I came alive in areas that have
been dry like the Sahara desert.
80
00:03:20,317 --> 00:03:23,522
- You follow me, Larry?
- Look, in baseball the tie goes to the runner.
81
00:03:23,555 --> 00:03:26,759
In situations like this,
tie goes to the hetero.
82
00:03:26,794 --> 00:03:29,298
It was no tie, babe.
She hit my base first
83
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:31,269
cleanly before
she even saw you.
84
00:03:31,304 --> 00:03:32,804
You're intent on going
through this?
85
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:34,975
Of course I am.
I don't want you to get hurt, Larry.
86
00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:37,579
You've been through a lot, right?
A lot of other women here.
87
00:03:37,614 --> 00:03:40,485
Probably women who are more your speed.
More your level.
88
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:42,889
Spare yourself the expense
and embarrassment.
89
00:03:42,924 --> 00:03:45,127
- Get out of this now.
- Okay, save myself?
90
00:03:45,162 --> 00:03:46,964
Yes, 'cause you're
gonna be annihilated.
91
00:03:46,998 --> 00:03:50,035
I'm gonna be annihilated by
you in the love department?
92
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:52,140
- We'll just see what happens.
- Game on, Larry David.
93
00:03:52,174 --> 00:03:54,444
- You've got it, sister.
- All right.
94
00:03:54,478 --> 00:03:56,481
- Good luck to you.
- You're in over your head, Rosie.
95
00:03:56,515 --> 00:03:57,951
- You think so?
- I know so.
96
00:03:57,985 --> 00:04:00,087
She's a dyke.
Deal with it.
97
00:04:02,526 --> 00:04:05,698
Ho ho! Look who's in
the motherfucking house!
98
00:04:05,733 --> 00:04:08,036
Ha ha! Leon in
the motherfucking house!
99
00:04:08,070 --> 00:04:10,940
You drove the car?
Look what you did to the car.
100
00:04:10,975 --> 00:04:13,613
Let me tell you something.
This motherfucking car has got some heart, man.
101
00:04:13,647 --> 00:04:15,917
I was surprised.
I thought it was a bitch-ass car.
102
00:04:15,952 --> 00:04:17,453
This shit got some
fucking heart to it.
103
00:04:17,487 --> 00:04:19,524
- Why didn't you fly?
- I don't fly, baby.
104
00:04:19,558 --> 00:04:21,929
You got to have a photo I.D.
for that, you know what I'm saying? Fuck that.
105
00:04:21,963 --> 00:04:24,599
I don't know how you can give a car
back to somebody in this condition.
106
00:04:24,633 --> 00:04:26,536
This motherfucker
has some room to it too.
107
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,172
I got eight motherfuckers
up in this car.
108
00:04:28,207 --> 00:04:30,076
- Yeah. What?
- I thought it held only four people.
109
00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:31,746
What did you do?
You picked up hitchhikers?
110
00:04:31,780 --> 00:04:33,048
See the baby seat back there?
Hell yeah.
111
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,753
Come on, man.
Let me see your place, man.
112
00:04:34,787 --> 00:04:36,389
What are you doing here anyway?
113
00:04:36,424 --> 00:04:37,926
I had to get out of
that fucking house, man.
114
00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,365
- Roommate was driving me crazy and shit.
- The who?
115
00:04:40,399 --> 00:04:42,335
- The roommate all in my shit.
- Roommate?
116
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,105
- Let me see the place, man.
- What roommate?
117
00:04:44,139 --> 00:04:47,176
- The fucking roommate at the house in California.
- Larry: What?
118
00:04:48,881 --> 00:04:52,149
So she gave-- She gave
her phone number
119
00:04:52,184 --> 00:04:55,289
- to me and Rosie O'Donnell.
- Oooh!
120
00:04:55,323 --> 00:04:58,127
Whoa, look at this, man!
Are you kidding me, Larry?
121
00:04:58,161 --> 00:05:00,664
- Renny Harlin's place.
- Oh shit.
122
00:05:00,699 --> 00:05:02,768
New York City, baby.
I'm here!
123
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,639
You got to tell people
you're here sometimes, right?
124
00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:05,941
Anyway, so what do you
think about it?
125
00:05:05,975 --> 00:05:07,911
I'm in competition
with Rosie O'Donnell.
126
00:05:07,946 --> 00:05:09,182
- Wow, man.
- I'll tell you what.
127
00:05:09,216 --> 00:05:10,684
I'm feeling a little
insecure about it.
128
00:05:10,718 --> 00:05:12,654
Lesbians have kind of
an advantage in a way.
129
00:05:12,688 --> 00:05:14,124
They some tricky motherfuckers.
130
00:05:14,158 --> 00:05:15,894
Frankly, I don't know
what I'm doing down there.
131
00:05:15,928 --> 00:05:17,565
Ladies know that shit.
You're right.
132
00:05:17,599 --> 00:05:19,702
That's what I'm saying.
I can't compete with a lesbian like that.
133
00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:22,174
They know every nook and cranny.
You know, every nook and cranny.
134
00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:25,012
What would happen if we were bi-sexuals?
I couldn't be comfortable now.
135
00:05:25,047 --> 00:05:27,184
I wouldn't be comfortable right now.
I'd be all fucked up.
136
00:05:27,218 --> 00:05:29,221
I would have zero interest
in a person like you.
137
00:05:29,256 --> 00:05:31,158
You're goddamn right. Me too, Larry.
You know what I mean?
138
00:05:31,192 --> 00:05:33,396
- Oh, you wouldn't be interested in me?
- Fuck no, Larry.
139
00:05:33,431 --> 00:05:35,265
First of all, I would
fucking throw the fuck up.
140
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:38,673
I would regurgitate my own shit.
I would regurgitate and shit.
141
00:05:38,707 --> 00:05:41,479
You think I'd go out with a guy
wearing a green wife-beater?
142
00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:43,215
- Look at you.
- First of all, look at this shit right here.
143
00:05:43,251 --> 00:05:45,486
- This shit on your head.
- Are you kidding me?
144
00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,458
- What the hell is that?
- Oh, I gets mine, Larry.
145
00:05:47,492 --> 00:05:49,996
I fucking gets mine.
You know I gets mine too.
146
00:05:50,031 --> 00:05:51,767
- ( Laughing )
- Okay.
147
00:05:51,801 --> 00:05:54,640
Where's my room at?
Where the fuck's my room at, Larry?
148
00:05:54,674 --> 00:05:56,776
Ha ha!
I'm in the house!
149
00:06:00,853 --> 00:06:03,157
I'm here to pick up
some food to go. David.
150
00:06:03,192 --> 00:06:05,092
- Okay, one second.
- Okay.
151
00:06:05,127 --> 00:06:07,296
Larry?
152
00:06:07,331 --> 00:06:09,066
- Larry, hi.
- Duckstein.
153
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:10,703
- We're both in New York.
- Yeah, we're both in New York.
154
00:06:10,737 --> 00:06:12,406
Look at this, two Angelinos
here in New York.
155
00:06:12,441 --> 00:06:14,544
- That's something, isn't it?
- What are you here for?
156
00:06:14,579 --> 00:06:16,483
You know, I just came.
157
00:06:16,517 --> 00:06:19,388
Hey, here's a thought.
Let's go to lunch.
158
00:06:19,423 --> 00:06:21,994
- Tomorrow?
- Mmm.
159
00:06:22,028 --> 00:06:25,200
- Mmm, I don't think so.
- Okay, Thursday.
160
00:06:25,235 --> 00:06:27,238
No, I-I--
I don't think so.
161
00:06:27,273 --> 00:06:30,511
- Why not?
- Well, we really don't see each other in L.A.
162
00:06:30,545 --> 00:06:33,249
So why-- If we're in
one city all the time
163
00:06:33,283 --> 00:06:35,555
and we never have lunch
in that city,
164
00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:37,326
why would we have lunch
in the new city?
165
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,628
I see what this is.
I see what this is.
166
00:06:39,662 --> 00:06:42,166
You're still holding a grudge
167
00:06:42,201 --> 00:06:45,607
because we didn't invite you
to Joanie's Bat Mitzvah.
168
00:06:45,642 --> 00:06:47,979
- You'll never forgive me for that.
- No no.
169
00:06:48,013 --> 00:06:50,483
I'm telling you, we sent it out.
You were on the list.
170
00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:52,520
- I did get the invitation.
- Yeah?
171
00:06:52,554 --> 00:06:55,326
Yes, and I paid
so little attention to it
172
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,363
that I didn't even bother
to RSVP.
173
00:06:57,397 --> 00:07:00,603
Because I shouldn't have been
invited in the first place.
174
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,908
I was offended
that I was invited.
175
00:07:02,942 --> 00:07:05,447
- Let me get this straight--
- There's nothing to get straight.
176
00:07:05,481 --> 00:07:07,017
I'm gonna eat alone tomorrow.
177
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,353
Why do you want to eat with me?
178
00:07:08,387 --> 00:07:10,790
Because we never get
a chance to eat in L.A.
179
00:07:10,825 --> 00:07:12,895
Because we're not friends.
180
00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:15,367
We're not friends because
we never spend time together.
181
00:07:15,401 --> 00:07:19,375
We don't spend time together because
I don't want to spend time together.
182
00:07:19,409 --> 00:07:22,414
Is it possible that you have
a little room for growth?
183
00:07:22,449 --> 00:07:24,420
No. Duckstein,
184
00:07:24,454 --> 00:07:26,624
I think we've taken us
about as far as we can.
185
00:07:26,658 --> 00:07:30,834
There will be no lunch,
no breakfast or dinner.
186
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:33,839
There won't be a snack.
There won't be coffee.
187
00:07:33,874 --> 00:07:35,376
There won't be a drink.
188
00:07:35,410 --> 00:07:37,881
And hopefully there won't
even be another bump into.
189
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,254
I feel badly for you
190
00:07:40,288 --> 00:07:43,393
because life is like this...
191
00:07:43,428 --> 00:07:46,668
- Yes.
- ...And what you've done is made it like this.
192
00:07:46,703 --> 00:07:48,438
I want to make that smaller.
193
00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:50,642
- Really?
- Yes. Shrink it.
194
00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,548
Shrink it.
Put the hands together.
195
00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:55,588
That's what I want.
See ya, Duckstein.
196
00:07:55,622 --> 00:07:56,857
Bye, Larry.
197
00:07:56,891 --> 00:08:00,130
- Jane: Hello.
- Larry: I'm here.
198
00:08:00,164 --> 00:08:02,636
Awesome.
Thank you for coming over.
199
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:06,276
I know we wanted to go out but my
cat will not stop throwing up.
200
00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:09,281
- It makes me nervous.
- Maybe the cat knew I was coming.
201
00:08:09,315 --> 00:08:11,652
Oh. Maybe that's why I was
throwing up a minute ago.
202
00:08:11,687 --> 00:08:13,990
- See, I have that effect.
- I get it, yes.
203
00:08:14,025 --> 00:08:17,097
- She's got, like, empathetic nausea...
- Exactly.
204
00:08:17,131 --> 00:08:19,167
- ...At the potential of your arrival.
- Exactly, yes. Yes.
205
00:08:19,201 --> 00:08:22,073
Yeah, ever since I met you
I can't stop puking.
206
00:08:22,107 --> 00:08:23,442
I don't know what it is.
207
00:08:23,476 --> 00:08:25,680
You're not the first person
who's told me that.
208
00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:26,816
- Really?
- Yeah.
209
00:08:26,850 --> 00:08:28,218
You just have that
effect on people?
210
00:08:28,252 --> 00:08:29,855
I do.
Particularly women.
211
00:08:29,890 --> 00:08:31,993
- That's hot.
- It's a wonderful quality.
212
00:08:32,027 --> 00:08:34,030
( Laughs )
213
00:08:34,064 --> 00:08:35,734
- So what are we eating?
- Japanese.
214
00:08:35,768 --> 00:08:37,436
So-- Ooh, God.
215
00:08:37,471 --> 00:08:39,440
Um, that's not gonna work.
216
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,645
- Are you serious?
- Oh, jeez.
217
00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:44,719
Oh, look at this.
They didn't secure the soup.
218
00:08:44,754 --> 00:08:46,724
Why didn't they put it
in one of those bags?
219
00:08:46,758 --> 00:08:48,697
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh my God.
220
00:08:48,731 --> 00:08:52,003
The whole thing is ruined.
You know, you're in the take-out business,
221
00:08:52,038 --> 00:08:53,340
you got two things to do:
222
00:08:53,374 --> 00:08:55,278
Get the order right,
secure the food.
223
00:08:55,313 --> 00:08:58,550
Usually they're good.
I don't know.
224
00:08:58,584 --> 00:09:00,855
You know what?
I'm going back there
225
00:09:00,889 --> 00:09:02,725
and I'm gonna get to
the bottom of this.
226
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,965
- Oh, get to the bottom of it?
- I'm definitely gonna tell them what happened.
227
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,406
It's fine, 'cause actually
I had Sushi last night, so...
228
00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:11,511
- You had Sushi last night?
- Yeah.
229
00:09:11,546 --> 00:09:14,750
- I didn't even ask you what I was getting.
- Oh, it's fine.
230
00:09:14,784 --> 00:09:16,587
No, I love Sushi.
231
00:09:16,621 --> 00:09:18,957
I'm just saying it's not a huge
deal that I don't have it again.
232
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:21,994
- So where'd you go last night?
- I had Sushi at Yankee stadium,
233
00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,299
which you would not think is good Sushi,
but it was actually really good Sushi.
234
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:25,435
- Really?
- Yeah.
235
00:09:25,469 --> 00:09:26,969
- Sushi at Yankee stadium?
- I know.
236
00:09:27,004 --> 00:09:30,274
I went with, um,
this friend of mine.
237
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:31,910
She's very connected
238
00:09:31,944 --> 00:09:35,583
and we had a box to ourselves.
239
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:38,087
And they brought in catering
and we had Sushi.
240
00:09:38,122 --> 00:09:41,026
- It was unbelievable.
- So who is this person?
241
00:09:41,060 --> 00:09:43,531
Just this-- You know, it's funny.
You might know her.
242
00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:46,138
Um, I mean
it's Rosie O'Donnell.
243
00:09:46,172 --> 00:09:48,175
I'm sure you've probably
crossed paths with her.
244
00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:50,179
- No.
- Do you want some wine?
245
00:09:50,213 --> 00:09:52,818
- Yeah.
- Okay.
246
00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,256
- Red or white?
- I don't care.
247
00:10:01,137 --> 00:10:03,506
So, um...
248
00:10:03,541 --> 00:10:05,843
What did--
249
00:10:05,878 --> 00:10:10,152
What did Rosie think
of your apartment?
250
00:10:10,186 --> 00:10:11,421
( Chuckles )
251
00:10:11,456 --> 00:10:14,426
She didn't see my apartment.
252
00:10:16,597 --> 00:10:18,434
- Really?
- Yeah.
253
00:10:18,468 --> 00:10:19,937
- She wasn't here?
- No.
254
00:10:19,971 --> 00:10:22,542
Oh.
Poor thing.
255
00:10:22,576 --> 00:10:24,278
Oh!
256
00:10:25,782 --> 00:10:27,753
You know, I've got to tell
you it was traumatic
257
00:10:27,787 --> 00:10:30,191
to open that bag
and see what was going on.
258
00:10:30,226 --> 00:10:31,861
It was very distressing.
259
00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:33,964
- You know, I was on a date...
- Yes.
260
00:10:33,999 --> 00:10:35,802
- ...With a bi-sexual.
- No.
261
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:38,072
And I'm competing for her
affection against a lesbian.
262
00:10:38,106 --> 00:10:40,311
- You think that's easy?
- Sure sure. I have a--
263
00:10:40,345 --> 00:10:42,916
Did I mention that I had
a soup and sandwich for dinner?
264
00:10:42,950 --> 00:10:44,653
You didn't mention.
You talk a lot
265
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,525
but no sandwich mentioned.
266
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:49,930
You've got to secure
these bags.
267
00:10:49,964 --> 00:10:52,302
Secure the bags
268
00:10:52,336 --> 00:10:55,709
with tape, staples,
however you've got to do it.
269
00:10:55,744 --> 00:10:57,313
Right, I understand.
270
00:10:57,349 --> 00:10:59,084
So I get you another order
271
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:02,726
then you can take home
and everything be okay?
272
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,030
You know what?
I really appreciate that,
273
00:11:05,064 --> 00:11:07,366
but that's really not quite
what I had in mind.
274
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:10,872
- Oh.
- Basically, man to man,
275
00:11:10,906 --> 00:11:15,415
I think an apology
would be nice.
276
00:11:15,449 --> 00:11:16,949
Okay, so I say sorry,
277
00:11:16,983 --> 00:11:18,953
you believe,
you feel something,
278
00:11:18,988 --> 00:11:22,193
then you move on? You go away?
Everything okay, yeah?
279
00:11:22,227 --> 00:11:24,731
Yeah, if I like the sorry,
everything will be hunky-dory.
280
00:11:24,765 --> 00:11:27,002
Okay.
281
00:11:30,075 --> 00:11:31,545
I am sorry.
282
00:11:31,580 --> 00:11:34,518
Oh, the bow.
Oh my gosh.
283
00:11:34,553 --> 00:11:36,622
Oh.
284
00:11:36,656 --> 00:11:38,390
I can't quibble with the bow.
285
00:11:38,425 --> 00:11:41,563
I love that bow. Come on, how many
times do you get a bow in your life?
286
00:11:41,599 --> 00:11:42,966
- Right, yes.
- Fantastic.
287
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,469
- Bow is very important.
- Fantastic.
288
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,606
We could learn a lot
of things from Japan.
289
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,510
You think about on the way home.
I think, yeah.
290
00:11:49,545 --> 00:11:51,514
But next time,
if I come back again
291
00:11:51,548 --> 00:11:53,517
to get some take-out,
292
00:11:53,552 --> 00:11:55,623
are you gonna beef up
the security in the bag?
293
00:11:55,658 --> 00:11:57,795
Absolutely, sir.
The tape, staples--
294
00:11:57,830 --> 00:12:00,132
Everything gonna be
secured for you, okay?
295
00:12:00,168 --> 00:12:01,702
When you're hungry you've got
that take-out order--
296
00:12:01,736 --> 00:12:03,540
Listen, listen.
You said a deal, right?
297
00:12:03,574 --> 00:12:07,481
You said I say sorry, you believe,
you move, you go away, okay?
298
00:12:07,516 --> 00:12:10,789
You long explanation how special bow is.
Okay, we got it.
299
00:12:10,823 --> 00:12:13,495
Next time we see you come in
we make sure bag secure.
300
00:12:13,529 --> 00:12:16,233
- Very special for you, okay?
- Okay. Are we good?
301
00:12:16,268 --> 00:12:18,706
- Can I-- Do I bow back?
- Yeah yeah. Do.
302
00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:24,383
- Then you got that to follow.
- ( Mumbles )
303
00:12:24,417 --> 00:12:27,055
- You follow?
- Yes.
304
00:12:31,399 --> 00:12:33,369
- Hi.
- Hey.
305
00:12:33,403 --> 00:12:35,873
Larry David.
Look at this.
306
00:12:35,908 --> 00:12:38,377
Hey, Rosie.
Look who's here.
307
00:12:38,412 --> 00:12:39,747
So, Larry, how was your night?
308
00:12:39,782 --> 00:12:41,917
- Couldn't have gone better.
- No kidding?
309
00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:44,353
- Yes.
- Same feeling I had. You know that?
310
00:12:44,387 --> 00:12:46,024
And you saw her when?
Monday?
311
00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:48,964
- Yes, Monday.
- Monday? Who goes out on Monday?
312
00:12:48,998 --> 00:12:50,868
Someone who's really
desperate to have a date,
313
00:12:50,902 --> 00:12:53,406
I suppose, calls somebody
for a Monday night.
314
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,241
I won't tell her
that you said that.
315
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,279
But listen, the thing--
Did you throw your arm out?
316
00:12:57,313 --> 00:12:59,049
Well, you know what?
317
00:12:59,084 --> 00:13:01,388
All night long I was like
in this position.
318
00:13:01,422 --> 00:13:04,226
And then up from this side.
You know what I mean?
319
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:07,233
- A lot of that.
- A lot of guys think that's a good move.
320
00:13:07,267 --> 00:13:10,272
It's funny.
Usually women laugh at it.
321
00:13:10,307 --> 00:13:12,209
- I don't think she was laughing.
- Really?
322
00:13:12,244 --> 00:13:14,080
She was too busy moaning
to laugh.
323
00:13:14,114 --> 00:13:16,819
- Yeah, a lot of that.
- I had the same thing in my neck.
324
00:13:16,854 --> 00:13:18,758
What did you say?
325
00:13:18,793 --> 00:13:20,530
Couldn't move my neck
from Tuesday morning.
326
00:13:20,564 --> 00:13:22,134
It's all right.
Listen, the thing is,
327
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,338
she just texted me.
We're going to the Tonys
328
00:13:24,373 --> 00:13:25,876
together, okay?
329
00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:28,314
- The Tonys?
- As my date
330
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,286
to the Tony awards.
331
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,025
Jane.
332
00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:33,962
Me Tarzan, not you.
333
00:13:33,997 --> 00:13:35,901
- ( Laughs )
- The Tonys.
334
00:13:35,936 --> 00:13:37,636
You could ask any stranger
on the street,
335
00:13:37,672 --> 00:13:39,575
they'll go to the Tonys.
That's no great accomplishment.
336
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:43,349
She knows all the words
to "Cats," okay?
337
00:13:43,384 --> 00:13:44,752
Even the British version.
338
00:13:44,787 --> 00:13:46,856
She enjoyed
"Chess" the musical.
339
00:13:46,890 --> 00:13:48,893
Saw it three times.
She saw "Carrie."
340
00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:52,000
It was only open two nights.
She likes Broadway, Larry.
341
00:13:52,035 --> 00:13:55,842
She likes Broadway!
( Laughs )
342
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:58,280
She's going to the Tonys?
What the hell am I gonna do?
343
00:13:58,314 --> 00:14:00,117
You can't compete
against the Tonys.
344
00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:01,986
I'm dead.
345
00:14:02,021 --> 00:14:05,027
( Crowd cheering )
346
00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:09,738
Good play, Larry.
347
00:14:09,773 --> 00:14:12,612
All right, Larry.
Two away. Two away.
348
00:14:13,550 --> 00:14:15,285
Ha ha.
349
00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:16,690
Come on, little Larry.
350
00:14:16,724 --> 00:14:18,292
Here we go.
How's your arm?
351
00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:20,461
- Good enough for you.
- Come on, throw it to mommy.
352
00:14:20,495 --> 00:14:21,764
Let's go, Larry.
353
00:14:25,138 --> 00:14:27,442
- ( Crowd cheering )
- Oh, fuck!
354
00:14:27,476 --> 00:14:29,846
- Go go go!
- Ha ha, Larry!
355
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,251
I don't even have
to run, Larry.
356
00:14:32,285 --> 00:14:34,354
- I can walk.
- Go go go!
357
00:14:34,389 --> 00:14:36,758
- Oh, did you get lucky.
- She's going for third, Larry!
358
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:39,063
Where's he throwing the ball?
359
00:14:39,097 --> 00:14:40,700
She's going home, Larry!
360
00:14:40,734 --> 00:14:42,637
Oooh!
361
00:14:42,671 --> 00:14:45,242
Whoo!
362
00:14:45,278 --> 00:14:47,514
I don't feel like
going on this date.
363
00:14:47,548 --> 00:14:50,253
I swear to God, I'd like
to cancel right now.
364
00:14:50,288 --> 00:14:52,422
Let me tell you something, man.
I would not be a fucking friend
365
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,027
sitting around this
plush motherfucker
366
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,799
and allow you to go out
there and allow a lesbian
367
00:14:56,834 --> 00:15:00,206
to beat you
at a fucking game, okay?
368
00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:02,878
Come on, it's over.
She's taking her to the Tonys.
369
00:15:02,913 --> 00:15:07,356
And let's face it, she's
got the lesbian advantage.
370
00:15:07,391 --> 00:15:08,994
We are fucking men, Larry.
371
00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:11,700
What do we have, man?
What the fuck do we have
372
00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:13,504
that she doesn't have?
373
00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:15,475
( Stammering ) You know,
I've got the penis.
374
00:15:15,509 --> 00:15:17,445
You're damn right.
Rosie O'Donnell does not have--
375
00:15:17,479 --> 00:15:19,616
- Has no penis. Has no penis.
- Doesn't have a penis.
376
00:15:19,651 --> 00:15:21,454
Women do not have penises.
Men have penises.
377
00:15:21,489 --> 00:15:23,925
You are absolutely right.
Don't be a fucking victim.
378
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:27,199
Okay?
You at bat.
379
00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,370
What's below your fucking bat?
380
00:15:29,404 --> 00:15:31,207
What dangles below your bat?
381
00:15:31,241 --> 00:15:32,911
- Huh?
- Balls.
382
00:15:32,945 --> 00:15:34,982
- We got bats and balls, right?
- Right.
383
00:15:35,016 --> 00:15:38,155
- Okay, what do ladies have?
- Gloves.
384
00:15:38,189 --> 00:15:39,993
What do gloves do?
Catch the goddamn balls.
385
00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:42,565
That's what ladies on this
planet do is catch balls.
386
00:15:42,599 --> 00:15:44,668
Bats and balls
run the fucking world.
387
00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:47,174
The woman is on this earth
to catch balls.
388
00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:48,877
Interesting theory.
389
00:15:48,912 --> 00:15:50,982
- See what I'm saying?
- Too bad I don't have a daughter.
390
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:52,887
I would like to impart
that knowledge to her.
391
00:15:52,921 --> 00:15:55,791
Gloves don't catch gloves.
We have the advantage.
392
00:15:55,825 --> 00:15:58,630
Okay? You've got to
realize that though.
393
00:15:58,664 --> 00:16:00,702
Yeah yeah, I know.
I know.
394
00:16:00,736 --> 00:16:02,806
But we're talking about
the Tonys here, okay?
395
00:16:02,841 --> 00:16:05,278
This penis that I have cannot
compete with the Tonys.
396
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:07,582
- Tonys are a grand slam.
- Fuck the Tonys.
397
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:09,153
Fucking Tony.
Who the fuck is Tony?
398
00:16:09,187 --> 00:16:11,390
Want a grand slam?
399
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:15,733
Hmm.
400
00:16:17,069 --> 00:16:18,368
Juice?
401
00:16:20,574 --> 00:16:22,344
You want me to juice?
402
00:16:22,378 --> 00:16:23,913
I want you to win.
403
00:16:29,459 --> 00:16:30,862
That was amazing.
404
00:16:32,265 --> 00:16:34,303
The penis is an extraordinary
instrument, Jane.
405
00:16:34,338 --> 00:16:36,709
- ( Laughs )
- Sometimes it surprises even me.
406
00:16:36,744 --> 00:16:39,048
And it's not just
a one-time thing.
407
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,520
That's what you get on
a consistent basis with me.
408
00:16:41,555 --> 00:16:42,989
- Really?
- Absolutely.
409
00:16:43,023 --> 00:16:46,229
- I can't even move.
- Well, speaking of that.
410
00:16:46,263 --> 00:16:48,567
Shall we do this again
on Friday?
411
00:16:48,601 --> 00:16:50,503
I don't want to wait that long.
412
00:16:50,537 --> 00:16:52,773
- How about Thursday?
- Thursday?
413
00:16:52,808 --> 00:16:56,415
- I thought you had plans on Thursday.
- I'll cancel them.
414
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,753
- You'll cancel them?
- Mm-hmm.
415
00:16:58,788 --> 00:17:01,925
Wow.
Too bad for that person.
416
00:17:01,959 --> 00:17:03,662
( Laughs )
417
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:07,436
All right, Janie.
418
00:17:07,471 --> 00:17:10,843
It's been swell.
Hope you had fun.
419
00:17:19,865 --> 00:17:21,900
Ah.
420
00:17:21,935 --> 00:17:23,807
( Jane laughs )
421
00:17:23,841 --> 00:17:26,178
( Speaking Japanese )
422
00:17:32,559 --> 00:17:34,664
Oh!
423
00:17:35,566 --> 00:17:38,239
( Speaking Japanese )
424
00:17:41,514 --> 00:17:43,584
Excuse me.
Do you speak English?
425
00:17:43,618 --> 00:17:45,154
Yes, I am fluent.
Yes.
426
00:17:45,188 --> 00:17:47,860
Oh, I noticed that when
you apologized to this man
427
00:17:47,894 --> 00:17:50,365
you gave him a rather deep bow.
428
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,135
Almost 90°.
429
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,673
Yes, I spilled ice cream.
430
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:58,380
So I very sorry.
So I apologize to him, yes.
431
00:17:58,414 --> 00:18:01,019
Now the other night a Japanese
fellow apologized to me.
432
00:18:01,053 --> 00:18:04,057
- Yes?
- But he only went down a few degrees.
433
00:18:04,092 --> 00:18:05,659
- Kind of like that.
- Like that?
434
00:18:05,695 --> 00:18:07,063
- Yeah.
- Oh oh.
435
00:18:07,098 --> 00:18:10,035
That is not apology to you.
436
00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:12,875
No, he was not sorry at all.
437
00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:14,044
- He wasn't sorry?
- No no.
438
00:18:14,079 --> 00:18:17,015
He a little dismissive of you.
439
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:19,088
- Dismissive?
- Yes. Yes.
440
00:18:19,122 --> 00:18:20,759
- I got a dismissive bow?
- Yes.
441
00:18:20,793 --> 00:18:24,000
A little bit...
Shit bow.
442
00:18:24,034 --> 00:18:25,570
- Shit bow?
- Shit bow.
443
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:27,172
- Shit bow.
- Shit bow.
444
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,842
- A shit bow I got.
- Yes.
445
00:18:28,877 --> 00:18:32,318
- I got a shit bow.
- No bow would be better than that bow.
446
00:18:32,352 --> 00:18:33,621
- No bow better?
- Yes.
447
00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:35,390
Little insulting to you.
448
00:18:35,424 --> 00:18:37,059
Do you hear--
Not a bow like that.
449
00:18:37,093 --> 00:18:38,864
- Not sorry at all. Little bitty bow.
- No.
450
00:18:38,898 --> 00:18:42,271
I'm sorry to tell you,
but that was not apology.
451
00:18:42,305 --> 00:18:45,311
Thank you very much.
This has been very helpful to me.
452
00:18:45,345 --> 00:18:47,882
- You're very welcome.
- Can you bow for a thank you?
453
00:18:47,916 --> 00:18:49,786
- You can bow for thank you.
- You can bow for thank you?
454
00:18:49,821 --> 00:18:52,058
- Sure, yes.
- That's a thank you bow.
455
00:18:52,092 --> 00:18:53,795
Thank you, yes.
Very good.
456
00:18:53,829 --> 00:18:56,668
- Good day to you.
- Thank you very much. Good luck.
457
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,938
How you doing, Lar?
458
00:18:58,973 --> 00:19:01,544
- Doing good.
- Yeah?
459
00:19:01,578 --> 00:19:03,047
I guess you heard.
460
00:19:03,081 --> 00:19:06,488
- Heard what?
- Jane canceled our date to the Tonys.
461
00:19:06,522 --> 00:19:08,225
- Really?
- Really.
462
00:19:08,259 --> 00:19:10,795
( Huffs ) I didn't know.
463
00:19:10,830 --> 00:19:13,903
It's funny 'cause, you know, something
doesn't figure out of the whole thing.
464
00:19:13,937 --> 00:19:15,807
I've known like four decades
of women that you've dated.
465
00:19:15,842 --> 00:19:18,179
None of them ever ever talks
about your performance.
466
00:19:18,214 --> 00:19:19,614
You're a singles hitter
your whole life,
467
00:19:19,648 --> 00:19:21,151
now all of a sudden
you're Mr. power hitter?
468
00:19:21,186 --> 00:19:24,291
You're Mr. grand slam? Mr.
get anybody, even Jane, huh?
469
00:19:24,325 --> 00:19:26,663
You doing something, Lar?
What do you do?
470
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:28,834
- Can you explain this to me?
- Well, I'm--
471
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:31,372
I'm on a new regiment.
I'm working out.
472
00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:34,010
I've changed my diet.
Makes a big difference.
473
00:19:34,044 --> 00:19:35,345
- You're working out?
- Yeah.
474
00:19:35,380 --> 00:19:37,285
- That's it?
- That's it.
475
00:19:38,988 --> 00:19:40,457
What, are you juicing, Larry?
476
00:19:40,491 --> 00:19:42,460
- ( Scoffs )
- Are you juicing now?
477
00:19:42,495 --> 00:19:47,168
I have never taken performance
enhancing drugs ever.
478
00:19:47,202 --> 00:19:48,837
Period.
479
00:19:48,871 --> 00:19:52,742
No no no no no no no.
480
00:19:52,778 --> 00:19:55,247
Got it.
But it doesn't make sense, Larry.
481
00:19:55,282 --> 00:19:57,786
I've known you
too long, all right?
482
00:19:57,820 --> 00:20:00,525
Something just does not add up.
483
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,364
Outfield in.
Play to first.
484
00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:04,867
All right, let's go, Larry.
485
00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:06,972
Easy out.
486
00:20:11,014 --> 00:20:13,484
( Crowd cheering )
487
00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:20,065
- Yeah!
- Well, get it in!
488
00:20:31,158 --> 00:20:33,260
How are you doing?
489
00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,876
( Sighs )
490
00:21:04,487 --> 00:21:06,523
( Groans )
491
00:21:07,727 --> 00:21:09,663
( Grunts )
492
00:21:16,744 --> 00:21:18,781
- Jeff: Did you hear about Duckstein?
- Larry: No.
493
00:21:18,816 --> 00:21:22,288
Some lady walking her dog
found him on the ground choking.
494
00:21:22,323 --> 00:21:23,759
- What? Is he okay?
- Yeah.
495
00:21:23,793 --> 00:21:25,928
He's in the hospital, but
they say he's gonna be fine.
496
00:21:25,962 --> 00:21:28,331
You know how to do the heimlich.
You could have, you know.
497
00:21:28,366 --> 00:21:29,936
Yeah, I know how to do
the heimlich.
498
00:21:29,970 --> 00:21:32,005
You do. If you only
went to lunch with him.
499
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,277
Yeah, you're right.
I could have helped him.
500
00:21:34,311 --> 00:21:36,013
I feel terrible.
501
00:21:36,048 --> 00:21:37,784
So how's things with Jane?
502
00:21:37,818 --> 00:21:40,054
Oh, it's fantastic.
She loves baseball.
503
00:21:40,089 --> 00:21:42,961
- I love that.
- She's taking me to Cooperstown on Sunday.
504
00:21:42,995 --> 00:21:44,932
She blew off
the Tonys with Rosie.
505
00:21:44,966 --> 00:21:47,304
- This woman blew off the Tonys...
- Blew off the Tonys.
506
00:21:47,338 --> 00:21:49,406
- ...To take you to Cooperstown?
- To take me to Cooperstown.
507
00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:52,178
It's not like being with a guy.
It's like being with a great guy
508
00:21:52,212 --> 00:21:56,855
who happens to have a vagina and knows the
statistics of what Roy White hit in 1971.
509
00:21:56,889 --> 00:21:58,626
- Exactly.
- Unbelievable.
510
00:21:58,660 --> 00:22:01,129
And I beat Rosie.
511
00:22:09,348 --> 00:22:12,918
Hi. Here to pick up
an order for Larry David.
512
00:22:12,953 --> 00:22:16,159
Oh, it's right over there.
Should be ready in a second.
513
00:22:19,701 --> 00:22:21,771
Hello.
514
00:22:21,805 --> 00:22:23,974
I got the stapler, tape.
515
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,845
Your soup is--
Look at this.
516
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:29,419
- Wow.
- You could run marathon and no spill it.
517
00:22:29,454 --> 00:22:31,325
Can I turn it upside down?
518
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,728
- That's the test.
- Yeah, sure. Turn down.
519
00:22:33,762 --> 00:22:36,266
Wow.
520
00:22:36,301 --> 00:22:37,903
- Good.
- That's how you run a restaurant.
521
00:22:37,937 --> 00:22:39,906
You secure
the take-out order.
522
00:22:39,941 --> 00:22:42,644
You know, there is
one more little issue
523
00:22:42,679 --> 00:22:46,118
I just wanted to mention.
I was in the park
524
00:22:46,153 --> 00:22:48,256
and there was a Japanese fellow
525
00:22:48,291 --> 00:22:50,293
and I saw him bowing,
526
00:22:50,328 --> 00:22:53,666
but he bowed to 90°.
527
00:22:53,701 --> 00:22:57,843
Your bow was like 15°.
528
00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:00,281
I asked him about it
and he said
529
00:23:00,315 --> 00:23:03,187
that what you did
is actually dismissive.
530
00:23:03,221 --> 00:23:05,657
So I just thought I would
let you know about it.
531
00:23:05,692 --> 00:23:07,727
Sure yeah, thank you.
532
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:10,200
Listen, a bow is a bow, right?
533
00:23:10,234 --> 00:23:12,204
No, he said a bow is not a bow.
534
00:23:12,238 --> 00:23:14,207
- Yeah, a bow is a bow.
- No, this is not a bow.
535
00:23:14,242 --> 00:23:16,546
You were short
of the authentic bow.
536
00:23:16,580 --> 00:23:18,751
I had authentic bow.
Bow is a bow.
537
00:23:18,785 --> 00:23:20,688
He is not authentic.
He doesn't know.
538
00:23:20,722 --> 00:23:22,726
Is it possible you
don't know the bow rules?
539
00:23:22,761 --> 00:23:24,565
Bow rules?
I understand the bow rules.
540
00:23:24,599 --> 00:23:27,269
- You know your bow rules?
- I was raised by bow rules.
541
00:23:27,303 --> 00:23:29,707
- Did they mention a degree?
- No, they didn't mention degree
542
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,645
because a bow is a bow.
543
00:23:31,679 --> 00:23:35,555
Do you know what the Japanese guy in
the park actually said about your bow?
544
00:23:35,588 --> 00:23:36,956
No, what did he say?
545
00:23:36,991 --> 00:23:38,393
- He said...
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
546
00:23:38,428 --> 00:23:39,630
It's a shit bow.
547
00:23:39,664 --> 00:23:42,301
He said shit bow?
548
00:23:42,336 --> 00:23:45,577
Yes, those were his words.
Shit bow.
549
00:23:45,612 --> 00:23:47,615
My bow is a shit bow?
550
00:23:47,649 --> 00:23:50,055
I'm not saying that.
Let's find out.
551
00:23:50,089 --> 00:23:52,228
I'll go on the Internet,
we'll do a little research,
552
00:23:52,262 --> 00:23:55,236
then I'll come back
and we'll see if
553
00:23:55,237 --> 00:23:56,806
your bow is right.
554
00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:59,043
Okay, sure.
I do that for you.
555
00:23:59,077 --> 00:24:00,480
- we'll do contest.
- All right, we'll look it up.
556
00:24:00,514 --> 00:24:03,520
Also, future reference,
just to note
557
00:24:03,554 --> 00:24:05,424
there's other good
restaurants around too.
558
00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:08,030
You should try sometime.
There's good places here.
559
00:24:08,064 --> 00:24:11,437
- I really enjoy this food.
- Yeah, you do.
560
00:24:11,471 --> 00:24:13,907
- Yes.
- For you, here we go.
561
00:24:13,942 --> 00:24:16,846
That looked good.
562
00:24:16,881 --> 00:24:18,450
- Okay.
- That looked good.
563
00:24:18,484 --> 00:24:20,821
- Okay okay.
- I'm still gonna research.
564
00:24:20,855 --> 00:24:22,290
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, research.
565
00:24:22,291 --> 00:24:24,628
- Okay?
- Yeah, Wikipedia.
566
00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:26,833
( Laughing ) Yeah, sure you're goddamn right.
I'm living large.
567
00:24:26,867 --> 00:24:29,805
I just had a croissant filled
with motherfucking champagne.
568
00:24:29,839 --> 00:24:31,708
Hey, I've got to talk to you.
569
00:24:31,742 --> 00:24:34,814
Hold the fuck on, bitch.
Hold the fuck up. God damn.
570
00:24:34,848 --> 00:24:37,319
- What's up, Larry?
- Got a date with Jane.
571
00:24:37,354 --> 00:24:41,796
- Oooh.
- I need a...
572
00:24:41,831 --> 00:24:43,933
Supplement.
573
00:24:43,968 --> 00:24:46,873
- A what?
- You know, a supplement.
574
00:24:46,908 --> 00:24:49,313
A supplement?
What the fuck is that?
575
00:24:49,347 --> 00:24:50,918
You know, one of the pills.
I need a pill.
576
00:24:50,952 --> 00:24:53,190
Oh, I'm out of pills, man.
I don't have no pills.
577
00:24:53,224 --> 00:24:54,826
- That's it.
- Since when?
578
00:24:54,861 --> 00:24:56,864
I'm out. You're popping these
motherfuckers like candy.
579
00:24:56,899 --> 00:24:59,436
- Why didn't you tell me?
- I got to tell you when I'm out of pills?
580
00:24:59,471 --> 00:25:01,874
- You know I'm depending on it.
- You got to go solo, man.
581
00:25:01,908 --> 00:25:03,210
- What? Solo?
- Go fucking solo.
582
00:25:03,245 --> 00:25:05,181
She'll notice the drop off.
How am I gonna do that?
583
00:25:05,216 --> 00:25:07,753
Yeah, that's fucked up.
You can't go into a fuck fight
584
00:25:07,788 --> 00:25:09,891
with no goddamn weapon.
That ain't cool.
585
00:25:09,926 --> 00:25:13,097
Fucking walking in with a goddamn jump
rope hanging from your fucking pants.
586
00:25:13,131 --> 00:25:15,034
Get off the phone.
Who are you talking to?
587
00:25:15,068 --> 00:25:17,273
- I'll call you back
- Come on, I've got to pick her up in two hours.
588
00:25:17,307 --> 00:25:18,776
Can you think of anything?
I need some help.
589
00:25:18,810 --> 00:25:20,914
Oh, I've got an idea.
590
00:25:20,948 --> 00:25:22,383
Here's what I want
you to do, okay?
591
00:25:22,418 --> 00:25:24,253
Go around to Washington
Square park, all right?
592
00:25:52,244 --> 00:25:55,182
Got any--
Got any of that stuff?
593
00:25:55,217 --> 00:25:57,219
The money.
594
00:25:57,254 --> 00:25:59,757
Come on.
( Snapping )
595
00:26:11,283 --> 00:26:13,821
- That's it? Two?
- Yeah.
596
00:26:13,856 --> 00:26:15,960
- I thought there were three.
- That's it. Now beat it.
597
00:26:15,994 --> 00:26:17,964
- Get out of here.
- Nice to meet you.
598
00:26:17,998 --> 00:26:20,269
Yeah.
599
00:26:24,013 --> 00:26:26,652
( Organ playing )
600
00:26:29,725 --> 00:26:31,495
- Jane: All right, I've got one.
- Larry: Okay.
601
00:26:31,530 --> 00:26:35,438
Who holds the record for
most postseason home runs?
602
00:26:35,472 --> 00:26:37,877
Most post season homeruns?
Come on, Jane.
603
00:26:37,911 --> 00:26:39,813
What are you doing?
Give me a test.
604
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,116
- Come on.
- Bernie Williams.
605
00:26:41,150 --> 00:26:42,719
( Imitates buzzer )
Wrong. Manny.
606
00:26:42,754 --> 00:26:44,825
- Manny?
- Manny Manny man-- Whoa!
607
00:26:44,859 --> 00:26:47,430
- Jeez, I'm so sorry.
- ( Laughing )
608
00:26:47,465 --> 00:26:50,001
- I took your shoe right off.
- No, it's fine.
609
00:26:50,036 --> 00:26:52,606
- Are you really sorry? Really?
- Yes. Yes.
610
00:26:52,641 --> 00:26:55,646
- Okay, then give me a bow.
- I don't know if I'm bow sorry.
611
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,549
No, I need bow sorry
or I'm not forgiving you.
612
00:26:57,584 --> 00:26:58,684
- Really?
- Yeah.
613
00:26:58,718 --> 00:26:59,786
- You want the bow?
- I do.
614
00:26:59,820 --> 00:27:02,224
- Jane.
- Larry.
615
00:27:02,258 --> 00:27:03,927
- You've got it.
- Yay.
616
00:27:03,961 --> 00:27:06,332
( Jane laughs )
617
00:27:06,366 --> 00:27:08,268
Whoa, you dropped something.
618
00:27:08,303 --> 00:27:10,272
What is this?
619
00:27:16,087 --> 00:27:18,323
Are you juicing?
620
00:27:19,627 --> 00:27:20,862
No no.
621
00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:24,737
Look, it's not for performance.
622
00:27:24,771 --> 00:27:27,075
- It's just for recovery.
- Bullshit, Larry.
623
00:27:27,109 --> 00:27:29,145
No, seriously.
Are you kidding?
624
00:27:29,179 --> 00:27:30,548
I can put up those
numbers anytime.
625
00:27:30,583 --> 00:27:32,318
You think anybody else
could do what I do
626
00:27:32,353 --> 00:27:34,622
just by taking one of those pills?
I have skills.
627
00:27:34,658 --> 00:27:36,159
( Scoffs )
628
00:27:36,193 --> 00:27:39,399
Hey, what are you doing?
Where's my ticket?
629
00:27:39,435 --> 00:27:43,073
- What about the hall of fame?
- You're not getting in.
630
00:27:43,108 --> 00:27:47,148
Everybody's doing it!
I was just leveling the playing field!
631
00:27:47,183 --> 00:27:49,886
I'm sorry!
632
00:27:49,921 --> 00:27:52,759
So sorry!
633
00:27:54,629 --> 00:27:57,568
Larry: Anyway, I heard
about what happened.
634
00:27:57,602 --> 00:27:59,971
I really felt terrible
and thought I should--
635
00:28:00,006 --> 00:28:02,177
Forget it. You know why?
Because the important thing is
636
00:28:02,212 --> 00:28:05,282
whatever brought you here is now
the beginning of a friendship.
637
00:28:05,316 --> 00:28:08,053
- I approached you, I asked you, you let it sink in...
- Mr. Duckstein.
638
00:28:08,088 --> 00:28:10,593
- Lunch.
- ...And here we are. Oh, lunch time.
639
00:28:10,628 --> 00:28:12,498
Lunch time.
You know something? 1:00.
640
00:28:12,533 --> 00:28:14,434
What do we have today?
Salisbury steak.
641
00:28:14,468 --> 00:28:16,603
- Would you like to stay for lunch?
- No no.
642
00:28:16,638 --> 00:28:18,773
This could be our first meal together.
Get my friend some lunch.
643
00:28:18,808 --> 00:28:20,445
My new friend some lunch.
You know something?
644
00:28:20,479 --> 00:28:23,284
This is so ironic.
We're having lunch after all.
645
00:28:23,319 --> 00:28:26,257
Talk about destiny.
I feel it, I know you feel it.
646
00:28:26,291 --> 00:28:28,026
This is gonna be the first
647
00:28:28,061 --> 00:28:30,532
of God knows how many lunches.
Because this is the beginning.
648
00:28:30,566 --> 00:28:33,171
( Theme music playing )
51104
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.