All language subtitles for Amandaland 2025 S01E03

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
cs Czech
da Danish
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es-419 Spanish (Latin American) Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,919 Hey, everyone. 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:07,719 I know this is a bit of a departure from my usual Senuous 3 00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,719 lifestyle content - but I just want to be real with you guys and talk 4 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:14,120 about something that's really close to my heart. 5 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,599 Cancer Awareness Week. 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,999 VIDEO CONTINUES ON PHONE: Cos I think it's so easy to sweat the 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:25,079 small stuff, and just forget about what's really important. 8 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:27,319 Hey, everyone. 9 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:31,279 Um, I know this is a bit of a departure from my usual 10 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,639 Senuous lifestyle content but, um... 11 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,040 I just want to be real with you guys for a second, and talk... 12 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,879 I need my car! 13 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,199 My son has a laser tag party in Beckenham this weekend. 14 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,479 I don't even know where Beckenham is without my sat nav. 15 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,640 Are you all right? 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:51,399 My ex stopped paying for the lease. 17 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,119 Apparently having a Tesla is a luxury. 18 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:56,440 It's a humble EV, for God's sake. 19 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,319 What do I do now? 20 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,119 You could try getting a job. 21 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,119 I have a job, Mal. 22 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,559 I am the face and brains and body and hair of Senuous - 23 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,479 a rapidly growing Instagram start-up. 24 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:14,199 Well, you could try getting a job that pays in money, and not these 25 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:17,960 "wellness supplement shakes" that've been blocking my hallway all week. 26 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:20,320 See you later. 27 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,759 What's the matter with you? 28 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,159 Come on! 29 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,959 Yeah, but is it a Neelam, Diego? 30 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,479 It has to be a Neelam. 31 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:35,679 Ref, VAR! 32 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,639 Well, they've got to be in season somewhere on the planet. 33 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,159 Go back and ask. 34 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:41,399 Oh, God, our goalie is shite. 35 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,839 Oh, don't say that, Della. Her mum's a psycho. 36 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,199 Oh, shit, she's looking. 37 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,719 CLEARS THROAT 38 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,239 Hey, guys! Hey. 39 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,759 Everyone looking forward to Parents' Evening tomorrow? 40 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,759 It's my favourite evening in the afternoon the whole year. 41 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:55,919 Yeah. It's kind of like, erm... 42 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,279 ..Sports Day but for, er, for boffins. 43 00:01:58,280 --> 00:01:59,959 Oi, Coach! What are we doing? 44 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:01,639 Right, guys, erm... 45 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,839 Anyone else want to try goalkeeping? 46 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:05,439 Hi! Sorry we're late. 47 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,839 The cab driver refused to drive across the grass. 48 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,319 And your card was declined. 49 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,919 Anyway, Della, I can thank you in person for the stiffie. 50 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,599 I was going to RSVP by post but now I can say it. 51 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:17,439 It's a yes from me. Great. 52 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,599 What's this? 53 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,039 Oh, we're having a soft launch for Double Shin. Ah! 54 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,319 So we're having a rehearsal lunch to iron out any of the glitches. 55 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,840 So you're inviting friends and family? 56 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,919 Yeah, I'd have invited you, Amanda, but I thought you were busy. 57 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,279 Yeah, thanks, Della. Yeah, no, I am actually. 58 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,399 Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, you thought right. 59 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,879 Because I am insanely busy right now. 60 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,799 Yeah, no, I'm in talks about a possible Senuous co-lab. 61 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,519 What's a co-lab? It means collaboration. 62 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,839 I always thought that co-lab sounded like co-labia. 63 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:48,839 No, it doesn't, Anne. 64 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,639 I was on Link-ed-din in for like, a second, and this big-shot 65 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,439 interiors firm just begged me for a meet at their flagship store. 66 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,759 Yeah, I guess it just shows what a thirst trap my brand is. 67 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:02,719 God, I'd hate to work for a brand. Too much hassle. 68 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,439 PHONE RINGS Oh, hold on, hold on. 69 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:06,079 Hello? Is it a Neelam? 70 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,319 No, Neelam. 71 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,799 Why do you keep saying Neelam? It's getting quite annoying. 72 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,639 It's a kind of mango. 73 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,200 Jog on. Rude. 74 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,559 Well, Amanda, this is an impressive CV, 75 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,759 but I'm not seeing any retail experience here. 76 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,239 Yes, just there. Hygge Tygge. 77 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,359 Oh. 78 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:25,199 I just assumed that was a typo. No. 79 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,639 That was my lifestyle store in Chiswick. 80 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:31,679 Our Insta page actually got a like from Amanda Holden. 81 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,599 Well, your references look great. Thank you. 82 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:35,959 I'm actually quite a humble person, 83 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,919 so writing about myself like that was a real challenge. 84 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,519 But, as it says in paragraph five, I embrace challenge. 85 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,079 You wrote your own references? 86 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,119 I've been my own boss for 15 years. 87 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,359 Which is one of the reasons why this co-lab is, yeah... 88 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,999 You keep using that word, "co-lab", but what does that mean? 89 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,840 Great question, Daniel, thank you. 90 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,399 Um, what does the word co-lab mean to me? 91 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,719 I guess I'm looking for a symbiotic relationship where 92 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:02,519 I draw on my skills as a social media entrepreneur 93 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:03,720 to complement your... 94 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,319 ..age-old knowledge of kitchens. 95 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,719 And bathrooms. I started in bathrooms. 96 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,679 Interesting. So you were... 97 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,479 ..Daniel Kichen's Bathrooms? 98 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,679 Yeah. Then moved into kitchens. 99 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,999 Hence why it's now Kichen's Bathrooms and Kitchens. 100 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,159 That makes sense. 101 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:21,559 But a lot of our business comes from waste disposal units 102 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,719 and boiling water taps now. Brilliant. 103 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,519 Maybe you could tempt Amanda Holden into a waste disposal. 104 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:29,319 Get her up on the wall of fame. 105 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,319 You can make a lot of commission selling those things. Ah. 106 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:36,159 You know what, I'm feeling a lot of synergy in this space. 107 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,240 In the words of Sir Alan Sugar, "You're hired!" 108 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,239 OK. Yeah. 109 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,039 YOU'RE hired. 110 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,080 Well done. 111 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,079 Hiya. Hi. 112 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,719 Yeah, they're really playing the first team here tonight. 113 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,399 Mr Atkins. Ms Patel. Miss Clacy. Mr Kovacs here on the back two. 114 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,560 Great news, guys. 115 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,359 Senuous is now official partners with KB&K. 116 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,439 DELLA: What'd she say? 117 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:03,679 Amanda got her job. 118 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,479 Not a job, Fi. It is a co-lab. 119 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,239 Yeah. No, they basically bit my hand off to work with me. 120 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,679 The plan is co-lab this year then go PLC. 121 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,039 Then aim to float myself by 2030. 122 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,599 LOUD BUZZER 123 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,119 What the hell was that, Anne? It's the timer. You only get 124 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,559 three minutes with each teacher and they're actually 125 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,799 very strict about it. OK. Welcome to Squid Games. 126 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,719 It's a dystopian Korean TV show. I know, Anne. 127 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,679 Loved your approach to expanding binominals, by the way. 128 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,359 Very nice, yeah. 129 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,839 Sorry, don't mean to fan girl too much. 130 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:37,799 It's just, um, I always wanted to try my hand at teaching myself. 131 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:41,039 I'm going to give Darius some additional homework over half term. 132 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,439 It's important he gets a good mark otherwise he'll have to 133 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,719 repeat the module. 134 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:49,159 He'll get there - he just needs a little help with that final 10%. 135 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:51,839 See? I'm already 80% there. 136 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:52,879 Jesus. 137 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,919 LOUD BUZZER 138 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:56,199 Thank you. 139 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,479 "Struggling"? 140 00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,719 I just think he might benefit from you working with him 141 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,359 on his homework over half term. 142 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:03,799 As you're an accountant. No, he's the accountant. 143 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,599 I'm a landscape gardener. He's the biological one. 144 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,279 Ohhh... No, we ain't together. 145 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,879 HE SCOFFS 146 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,439 No! 147 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,639 I mean, I wish! What? 148 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,599 God, punching a bit above my weight with this hunk! 149 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,959 I'm just the stepdad. 150 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,919 Yeah, so, I'm more than happy to tutor Ned over the half term. 151 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:24,399 No, no, no, it's cool. I can do this. 152 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,039 Course you can, mate. 153 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,599 Great kid. 154 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:28,879 Really good grades. 155 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:33,199 The only thing I would say is that she should show up to school more. 156 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,599 What did he say? 157 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,599 Morten's nailing it, babe. 158 00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,759 Here - it's an invitation to our restaurant launch. 159 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:43,079 As an apology from Della for not being able to make it in person. 160 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,919 Aw, thanks, guys. 161 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,479 Did he just get an invite? 162 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,559 CLEARS THROAT Hm? 163 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,679 I said she's easily distracted. 164 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,199 Well, I think that's the case for all teenagers, though, right? 165 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:58,519 What with social media and hormones and... Oh, my God. 166 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,719 Yeah, she does have a boyfriend now. Oh, my God! 167 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,919 Georgie just needs to find a little focus, 168 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,039 because it's starting to affect her schoolwork. 169 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,079 Right. Understood. I'm wondering if you think, um... 170 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,439 BUZZER I'm sorry, but our session's over. 171 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,759 Yes... The buzzer's gone. 172 00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,799 Sorry, just... No, "I've started so I'll finish"? 173 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,199 Next. 174 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,759 Yeah, I know. 175 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:20,599 That was quite frustrating. 176 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,199 But I think I'm going to take midterm off. 177 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,559 Do some Anne-rithmatic with Darius. But, hey, silver linings 178 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,640 because I've always wanted to be a maths teacher. 179 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,279 Well, I think you'll find you need a degree to be a teacher. 180 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:38,759 Oh, yeah, well, I have a PhD in Chemistry from Imperial, so... 181 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,160 Right. Not a degree, though, is it? 182 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,479 Excuse me, young lady. Where do you think you're going? 183 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,599 To the park with Morten. 184 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,799 No, no, no - you heard Miss Leary. You need to be studying. 185 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,879 That is what you're spending your half term doing. 186 00:07:57,880 --> 00:07:59,799 What, because I'm so stupid? 187 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,879 God! I can't believe you called me stupid! 188 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,119 SHE SIGHS 189 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,759 No judgment from me. 190 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,199 I've got to teach Ned maths all week. 191 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,759 Sorry, Mal, I don't have time for this, I've got a co-lab to get to. 192 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:11,800 Stupid bike. 193 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,999 Um, where's your helmet? 194 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,719 If it's a choice between brain damage and helmet hair, 195 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:19,560 I think you know where I stand. 196 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,439 How you getting on, big man? I don't get it. 197 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:27,879 Why are these so hard? All right. 198 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,639 Let's get this done and then we can go for a Five Guys, yeah? 199 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,839 All right. 200 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:36,439 4a... 3-3a, 201 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:38,519 2... something... 5, 202 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,159 exclamation mark. 203 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,119 This isn't a maths questions, this is a wifi password. 204 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,760 Right, let's have a look at the second one. 205 00:08:52,680 --> 00:08:54,599 OK. Plan B. 206 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,080 RINGS BELL 207 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:02,399 Welcome to Maths Caaaaaaamp! 208 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,119 Thank you so much for doing this, Anne. You're a life-saver. 209 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,399 The more the merrier. Now come on, just about to get started. 210 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,560 All right, listen. Don't tell your mum or JJ, yeah? 211 00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:17,640 HE SIGHS 212 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,159 Mooove! 213 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,400 Christ! You posh blonde idiot! 214 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,199 Good morning, Amanda. 215 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,439 Daniel! I was expecting you for nine. 216 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,679 Oh, I was aiming for nine-ish. 217 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,759 You try cycling from So-Ha to Ea-Wil with a mood board. 218 00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:39,199 Right. Let me put down my thought collage, and then maybe you could 219 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,079 direct me to the best local roastery for a decent java. 220 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,479 Let's start with your shirt. 221 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,599 Um, my colour palette is very much spring-summer 222 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,359 and this is autumn-winter, Daniel. 223 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,439 It is pretty quiet today so do you want to start with some flyering? 224 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:54,680 SCOFFING LAUGH 225 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,519 Flyering? 226 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,079 Right, Daniel, flyering's not in my job description. 227 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,719 Did you read your job description? 228 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,520 No. Well, it is. 229 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:16,839 "Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas." 230 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,239 Not my words, guys, 231 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,000 but those of the late great Albert Einstein. 232 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,120 Here we go, boys. 233 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,720 You know what that is? 234 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,760 That's Euler's Identity. 235 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,879 Beautiful, isn't it? 236 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,999 Einstein was right. 237 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,280 That is poetry. 238 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,840 So, guys... 239 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,560 ..are we ready to make poetry? 240 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,439 How are you not getting this?! 241 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:53,119 OK, first you multiply them by themselves 242 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,919 AND THEN you add them together! 243 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,239 Jesus! 244 00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,319 Right. 245 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,599 If we've to do it again, we'll do it again. 246 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,879 Work out the value of T 247 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,760 when P=4 and W=2. 248 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,879 What are you doing? You're supposed to be at home revising. 249 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,959 Why are you wearing a vest? It's a camisole. 250 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,159 Don't change the subject. I'm here to help Morten. 251 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,759 Yeah, Della sent me to go get her mangos for the restaurant launch 252 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,239 so, you know, she came with me. 253 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,519 Why are you in Willesden anyway? 254 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,679 Queen's Park borders. I'm meeting some of my team. 255 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,639 I like to get really under the bonnet when I co-lab. 256 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,439 Anyway, this isn't about me. You obviously can't be trusted, George. 257 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:51,279 What are you doing? I'm calling your grandmother. 258 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,999 She can help supervise you. 259 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,559 Why's that old man waving at you? 260 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,799 Hey! 261 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,439 Oh, men wave at me all the time. 262 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,160 DANIEL: Hello? It's my burden. 263 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,319 Amanda, can I have a word? 264 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:07,919 Yes! 265 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,399 Now I'm not going to have a go at you for taking your top off - 266 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,599 it's a very effective sales technique - 267 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,640 but I'm not paying you to stand around on the street gassing. 268 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,999 Do you know who that was? That was Della Fry's daughter. 269 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,479 What, the chef? Yeah. What, you know her? 270 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:23,639 We're close personal friends. 271 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,919 Our daughters are basically sisters, we're so tight. So... 272 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,279 Here, do you think you can you get Della Fry to endorse 273 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,479 a Sinkliminator? 274 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,959 I mean, she'd look great on my wall. 275 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,039 Err, right... 276 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:35,080 Erm... 277 00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:39,399 I don't know if that's something she'd really go for, Daniel. 278 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,519 Surely she'd do it for a close personal friend? 279 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,319 Yeah. I mean yes, yeah. No, I will, I... 280 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,959 That's something I will definitely mention to her, for sure. 281 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,519 DOORBELL 282 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,960 Quick, let me in, it smells of buses. 283 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,599 I hear you're under house arrest. 284 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:00,519 So stupid. 285 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,879 What's this? 286 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,599 Selling Sunset. It's about Californian Estate Agents. 287 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:05,840 Oh, fantastic. 288 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,199 You'd probably learn more from them 289 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,840 than anything in a boring book, y'know? 290 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,360 FELICITY CHUCKLES 291 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,839 Hey, Anne. How's it going? Great, yeah, yeah. 292 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,359 SO fun. 293 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,600 I think we're really getting somewhere, y'know? 294 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,959 There he is! Hey, slip me some skin. 295 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,079 Yeah. Going for gold. 296 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,439 All right! So... 297 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,440 ..same time tomorrow? Yep. 298 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,799 Oh, for God's sakes! 299 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,479 What are you doing?! 300 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,239 Oh, darling, I didn't expect you back so soon 301 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,439 Not cool, Mummy. I asked you to do one thing. 302 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,359 This may be an alien concept to you 303 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,439 but my daughter needs to be studying. 304 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,719 Not looking like a contoured badger. 305 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,199 You're going to Anne's tomorrow. Why?! 306 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,000 Gan Gan said you got three GCSEs and you're doing great. 307 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:10,399 6, 15, 24, 33... 308 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,479 Hey! 309 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:12,880 Eyes on me, yeah? 310 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,719 So the interval here is 9, but we're not starting with 9, are we? 311 00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:22,839 So we would express this sequence as 9n-...? 312 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:24,719 N? No. 313 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,199 We've been through this. 314 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,439 It's 9n minus what... 315 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:30,560 ..is 6? 316 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,719 OK, it's 3! All right, OK? 317 00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,999 Clearly it's 3. 318 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,799 The answer they're looking for is 3. 319 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,119 So the answer you need to write down, right now, is 3! 320 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:44,519 It's the nine times tables, less three! GOD! 321 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,359 Doesn't that feel good? 322 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,160 Actually answering a fecking question? 323 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:51,959 Enough is enough. 324 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,000 Question 28. 325 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,360 N=76. 326 00:14:57,680 --> 00:14:59,919 Question 29... What was 28 again? 327 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,479 Keep up! I just want to finish this homework. 328 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,919 Question 30. 329 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:05,520 Four to the power of nine. Done. 330 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,280 Do not tell your teacher I gave you the answers. 331 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,160 Let us never speak of this again. 332 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,400 There is literally nothing this thing can't obliterate. 333 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,159 And just so you know, the chef Della Fry? 334 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,600 We're talking to her about fitting one. OK, thanks. 335 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,160 PHONE BUZZES 336 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,079 Oh. 337 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,599 Fi. Hi, babe. 338 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,759 Bit short notice, but do you fancy a lunch at Double Shin? 339 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,599 It's our soft launch today and there's a bloody tube strike, 340 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:46,799 so we just need bums on seats. 341 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,479 Oh, well, I'm very touched that Della asked for me personally. 342 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,559 Oh, er, just out of interest, Fi, 343 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:55,439 and obviously I can totally afford it but, er, is it free? 344 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:56,639 Yeah, yeah. Course. 345 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,679 Oh, great. Erm, OK. 346 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,719 Err, yeah, well, I will call you back in two minutes. 347 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:02,999 No problem. OK. 348 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,359 Oh, Daniel. 349 00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:07,959 Daniel. Hi. Is it all right if I pop out for the afternoon? I've... 350 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,479 Sorry, you've got to man the shop. 351 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,999 Oh, well, I've got this incredible opportunity... 352 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,879 Yeah, look, I'm in St Albans all afternoon 353 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,439 quoting on a nursing home refurb. 354 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,239 OK, I... Hey, Amanda. 355 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,800 Not happening. I got to go. 356 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:29,559 Hello. Fi! Hi. 357 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,120 Err, it's a yes from me. 358 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,639 Hi, Della. Hi! 359 00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:41,359 What are you sniggering at? 360 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,479 Have you seen this logo? 361 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,999 Darling, that definitely says Double Shit. 362 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,279 Thanks for coming to our Double Shindigs. 363 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,999 Yeah. Um, who designed the logo? Oh, me. 364 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,319 I did a graphics course recently. 365 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,879 Della really loves it. Hmm. 366 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,959 I'm so sorry I'm late, guys. 367 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,599 Anyway, what's got two thumbs 368 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:03,239 and deliberately didn't have any breakfast? This guy! 369 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,639 I'm only here for the free drinks. 370 00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:07,279 Fair enough. 371 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,079 How was Maths Camp last week...? Oh, so fun. 372 00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:11,759 So much fun. 373 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,199 Tough, mind. 374 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,959 But fun. Difficult. 375 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:16,999 Yeah, rewarding, you know? 376 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,280 But tough. 377 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,200 CLEARS THROAT 378 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,680 PHONE BUZZES 379 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:48,919 Daniel. Do you want to tell me why the shop's shut? 380 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,239 Yes. OK... I can explain. 381 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,599 I don't want to hear it, Amanda. 382 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,639 Look, I don't think you should bother coming back. 383 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,799 No, Daniel. Wait, listen... OK, listen... The thing... 384 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,079 OK, the thing is, Della Fry called me 385 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,559 and I think we're in a really good position to get her to 386 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:04,279 endorse the Sinkliminator, and so I made an executive decision... 387 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,839 You're not an executive. You're my employee. 388 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,839 We're splitting hairs here, Daniel. 389 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,719 My point is, I think she's going to do it. 390 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:14,439 And so I popped out to seal the deal. 391 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:15,759 OK. 392 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,199 Fine, but... 393 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,759 I've actually got to go right now 394 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:22,999 because we are kind of mid pow-wow, but I will see you tomorrow, OK? 395 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,520 Bye. Bye-bye-bye! Amanda... 396 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,520 Yes, Chef! 397 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:33,759 I need more mint, Hector. 398 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,840 Yes, Chef. 399 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,399 Hey, gurl. Amazing launch. 400 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,479 I loved those mushroomy starter things. 401 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,399 They were baby rabbits. 402 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,799 Yum. 403 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,159 So... 404 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,959 Imma ask you straight - big shot to big shot. 405 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,599 You know how I'm doing this co-lab with this amazing boutique 406 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,679 kitchen company...? Are you trying to sell me something? 407 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,039 No, no! God, no. 408 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,999 I don't work in sales. 409 00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,759 No, it's more of an endorsement deal... 410 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:00,999 Stop. No. 411 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,479 ..for this funky little gadget we have - it's amazing... 412 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,599 I do not do endorsements. It will cut through... 413 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,679 I am not a sell-out. ..anything. 414 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,479 Not like Jamie "Sainsbury's" Oliver. Obviously. 415 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,559 But I don't think putting your name to a genuinely life-changing 416 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,679 device that saves not just time but also landfill... 417 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,839 30 seconds to service, Chef! Thank you, Ruben. 418 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,959 ..and I really think this is a very special product 419 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,439 and couldn't possibly be described as selling out... 420 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:24,560 Stop talking. I got to go. 421 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,639 Can I get somebody on the pass, please? 422 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,359 CHEERING AND WHOOPING 423 00:19:30,360 --> 00:19:32,319 Thank you. Thanks, all. 424 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,599 Well done on being the best-fed free-loaders in Kilburn. 425 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,159 Welcome to Double Shin. 426 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,239 My new baby. The ethos behind this restaurant... 427 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,919 Listen, I just wanted to say big props on the whole maths thing. 428 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,159 Yeah? 429 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,799 Y'know, I read through his revision worksheets and they are great. 430 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,999 I just feel really bad that... 431 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,879 Of course you're great at maths. Yeah, don't worry about it. 432 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,679 Because this is the signature dish of Double Shin. 433 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,159 And excuse me for being a soppy goose, 434 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:01,479 but this is a tribute to my incredible wife Fi. Aww! 435 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,680 I couldn't do any of this without her support. 436 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,599 Yeah, so this, this is Neelam mango sorbet. 437 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,959 Which is Fi's favourite fruit. 438 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,959 And as tomorrow is our wedding anniversary, 439 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,039 I thought I'd propose a toast. 440 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:21,959 To Double Shin and my amazing Fiona. 441 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,759 ALL: Double Shin. 442 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,320 All right, all right, eat, eat, eat! 443 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,119 God, I love anniversaries. 444 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,359 Our next biggie will be, um, pearl. 445 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,719 But I can't imagine Chris giving me a pearl necklace. 446 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,760 Well, now we all can. 447 00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:44,960 QUIETLY: Shiiiiiit. 448 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:48,999 Are you all right, Amanda? 449 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,519 Yeah! Hey, no, I'm fine! 450 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:53,119 Are you all right? 451 00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,559 I totally forgot it was our anniversary tomorrow. 452 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:56,799 And I've not even got her a card. 453 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,639 I think I can get her a box of West Country cheeses 454 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,479 delivered by tomorrow. 455 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,159 Or I could get her some craft ales? 456 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:07,080 Oh, I think we can do better than that, Fi. 457 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,320 But I will need a little favour. 458 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:16,240 Mmm. 459 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,919 Are you ready for your present? 460 00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:21,359 Ready! 461 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:24,000 Thanks, babes. Aw. 462 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:29,439 CAMERA CLICKS 463 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,480 Oh. Do you like it? 464 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,280 Do you have the receipt? 465 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,200 Yeah. I don't know what this is. 466 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,200 PHONE CHIMES 467 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,080 SHE GASPS 468 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:50,040 PHONE BUZZES 469 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,000 "We have reason to believe... 470 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,520 "some children caught copying each other's... 471 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:03,120 "Please come for a meeting at 12..." 472 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,480 Oh, shit. 473 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,040 Oh, shit! 474 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,080 Shit! Shit! 475 00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:18,600 TOILET FLUSHES 476 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:22,799 Amanda? Mummy, hi, yeah. 477 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,639 I just got a message from the school about a meeting at midday. 478 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,479 Yeah, and I can't leave my co-lab. 479 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,039 I thought you were your own boss. 480 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,399 Yeah, no, I am my own boss, 481 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:34,159 but I've got a really important meet with, um, a big hotel 482 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:37,079 and... OK. Please, Mummy. Go to Georgie's school for 12 o'clock. 483 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,079 Oh, do I have to? Yes, bye. Really...? 484 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,559 DANIEL CLEARS THROAT 485 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:44,119 For the umpteenth time, can you not use your phone on the floor? 486 00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:46,159 It was a family emergency, Daniel. 487 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,239 Well, you've obviously got time on your hands, 488 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,199 so can you shift that grout? 489 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,720 All right. 490 00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:58,960 Oh, dammit! 491 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,400 Oh, God! 492 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,479 Oh, hello, Amanda. 493 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,479 I didn't know you worked here. 494 00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,239 I don't work here. 495 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:21,920 NERVOUS LAUGHTER 496 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,359 Of course I don't work here. 497 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,359 No, um, no. Just browsing around myself. 498 00:23:28,360 --> 00:23:30,279 You're wearing a uniform. Yes. 499 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,999 No, I can see why you would think I worked here. 500 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,879 But I don't. 501 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,959 I don't work here. 502 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,440 I co-lab, but I'm mainly in the head office in, um... 503 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:42,839 ..Mayfair. 504 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,240 DANIEL: Amanda! You shifted that grout yet?! 505 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,639 Fine, yes, I work here, Della, yes. 506 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,639 So... I'm just doing this till Senuous takes off. 507 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,600 You don't have to tell me how hard it is to launch something. 508 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:58,679 You're skint. Hm. 509 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,279 You're desperate... Well, I wouldn't say I'm desperate. 510 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:04,199 Your car's been repossessed, your ex is a cock, 511 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,199 and he's dumped you in it financially... 512 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:08,999 We actually have a really incredible relationship for exes... 513 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:13,159 Yeah, well, what I'm trying to say is that I think that what you're 514 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,120 doing is pretty impressive. 515 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,160 Thank you. 516 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:21,960 The fuck is that?! 517 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:29,159 So, I'm just saying that, erm, coincidences do happen. 518 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,319 But all three of them got exactly the same answers wrong. 519 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:33,559 I can explain. 520 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:36,919 I think that my knowledge... 521 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:38,719 ..of maths got the better of me. 522 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,599 And I may have helped Ned a bit too much. 523 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,800 No, don't beat yourself up, mate... No, no, no, no. 524 00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:47,000 I can't let you do this. You can. 525 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:50,679 It wasn't Mal. He had nothing to do with it. 526 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,639 It was me. I'm the cheat! I'm the liar. 527 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:54,839 What's going on? 528 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,840 I thought teaching maths would be easy. 529 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,559 But it is so hard. 530 00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:01,839 Amen to that, sister. 531 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,919 I just started filling out a few answers, y'know? 532 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,439 And then one thing led to another and I don't know what happened. 533 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:08,919 Just... 534 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,559 Before I knew it, I was filling in the whole thing 535 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,639 Oh, God. 536 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,799 I don't see what all the fuss is about. 537 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:19,879 They're all going to be fine. It's just a stupid maths test. 538 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,720 That's not helpful, Mrs Sanderson. That's not helping. 539 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,040 Hey, JJ. 540 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,079 I'm sorry. 541 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:29,519 I just... 542 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,919 I think, if I'm not doing the day-to-day tricky stuff 543 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,039 with Ned then what am I? 544 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,999 I'm just a guy that takes him to the zoo and hands out 20s. 545 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:40,719 I feel like a weekend dad, and weekend dads are shite. 546 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:41,839 Come off it. 547 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,079 I'm just "the stepdad". 548 00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,479 The lamest of all the dads. 549 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,079 I'm like a bad cover version of you. 550 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:51,159 I'm like the Westlife version of Uptown Girl to your original 551 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,439 Billy Joel. 552 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,799 No! 553 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,599 You're Beyonce's version of Blackbird. 554 00:25:56,600 --> 00:25:57,840 That is a banger. 555 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:03,039 Do you want me to take over the maths homework? 556 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,719 Fuck, yes, please. 557 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,960 Thank you so much. 558 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,280 Well, that's not real. 559 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,759 How was the meeting at school? 560 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:18,599 Oh, Georgie got a detention for copying. 561 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:20,239 I mean, pfff. 562 00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:21,919 Honestly, the fuss they made. 563 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,239 What do you mean, "pffff"? 564 00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,119 Don't pff that, Mummy. 565 00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:27,640 This is important. 566 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,239 What's got your knickers in a twist now? 567 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,839 I have just been sacked from a job selling waste disposal units 568 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,519 in a burgundy airtex. 569 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,439 Oh, my God, that's awful. 570 00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:44,319 Why on earth are you doing that? 571 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,559 Why? Why! 572 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,839 Because I am not qualified to do anything better, Mummy! 573 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,959 I've only got three GCSEs. 574 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,519 Oh, I suppose that's my fault? 575 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,439 Yes. It is your fault. Because the only things you ever made me work on 576 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,999 were a killer backhand and toning my legs. 577 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,119 Being good at tennis is an excellent life skill. 578 00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:02,359 I'm not arguing that, but I want more for Georgie. 579 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,239 I don't want my daughter to fail her exams 580 00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,560 because no-one could be bothered to help her. 581 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,200 Where did she go? 582 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,000 See, nothing to worry about. 583 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:24,840 I was a single mother too, you know. 584 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,240 Well, your father went skiing a lot. 585 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:33,919 Fine, maybe I could've been a smidge more hands on. 586 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,599 I'm sure you can find a way to make it up to me, Mummy. 587 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:37,760 Yeah. 588 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,360 I've come to get my mood board back. 589 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:53,079 And my co-lab. 590 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:54,919 Why would I give you your job back? 591 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,679 Cos I'm damn good at it. 592 00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,479 And I'll be even better, Daniel, if you'll just let me fly. 593 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,919 I need a sales assistant, Amanda, not a seagull. 594 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,760 And also because I am bringing you a big new client. 595 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,200 Who's Felicity Sanderson? It's Mummy. 596 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,519 And she wants a complete new kitchen. 597 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,400 Including a fizzy water tap. 598 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,319 Why are you making it so hard? 599 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,479 It's obviously an irrational number. 600 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,999 That's the whole point of the exercise... 601 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,759 You know what, forget it. Forget it. 602 00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,840 What's Anne's number? Let's give her a call. What?! 45030

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.