All language subtitles for bobs.burgers.s12e04.1080p.web.h264-cakes

Okay, great.
Uh, I'll see you soon.

Bye. Good news, everybody,
the guy still has the sink

and it's a really good price.

Uh, I'm gonna go check it out,

and unless something is terribly

wrong with it,
we'll have a new, slightly used

- kitchen sink for the restaurant.
- All right!

This is all happening so fast.

Yeah, if you told me I
was gonna wake up today

and we were getting new sink,
I would have been all, "What?"

I know. It's very exciting.

It's deeper than the
one we have now,

and it's got rounded corners,

- so it's easier to clean.
- Like me.

It's basically the
sink I've wanted

- my whole life.
- Dream big, Dad.

The only problem is I don't
think it will fit in the back

of our car unless I
rip out the back seat,

which wouldn't be great, because
that's, uh, where the kids go.

We can ride on the roof, Teen Wolf style.

- Hey, everyone.
- Hey, Teddy.

- Hello. - Hi.
- Hey, you.

I mean, maybe I can just

- cram it in there?
- What needs cramming?

Bob's getting us a new
sink for the kitchen today.

He's gonna buy it
from a guy in, uh...

- Where is he, Bob?
- Bridgehurst.

It's a... It's a
couple hours away.

Right. But he's not
sure it'll fit in our car.

Or if our car
can drive for two hours.

Oh! Oh, my God. Bob.

- What.
- This is your lucky day!

I'm driving through
Bridgehurst to do a job

for Mr. Fischoeder today.

He sold that giant ventriloquist
dummy head from the old funhouse

to a guy who wants to use
it for his mini golf course.

Oh, I remember that big
dummy. Didn't he have a name?

- Big Dummy.
- It's a beautiful name.

Anyway, I just loaded
it onto a flatbed trailer

at Fischoeder's and
I'm gonna drive it out

to the golf course guy.

He's just one town
over from Bridgehurst.

So you can come with
me and throw your sink

in the back of my truck.

We can catch up. Talk.

I haven't seen you
since yesterday.

Oh, Teddy, that's
so nice of you,

but, um, I'm... I'm good.

- Thanks.
- What are you talking about, Bob?

Teddy's got a truck, you've
got a giant sink. This is perfect.

I mean, Linda, I don't
want to impose on Teddy.

Impose. Listen to this guy.

- I know. Mr. Fancy Words.
- Nerd.

Uh, Lin, can I talk to you
in the kitchen, please?

Uh, I don't want to spend
two hours in a car with Teddy.

I mean, I don't want to spend
two hours in a car with anyone.

And with Teddy, it's
just so much talking.

Come on, Bobby. Take the ride.

We both know Teddy
could use the company.

- He's a lonely guy.
- Okay, fine.

But I'm bringing a book.

You know we don't have books.

So you're sure Big
Dummy never comes to life?

I mean, pretty sure.

Even at night, when
we're all asleep?

Uh, I don't think so.

What if he gets hungry?

I assume he eats children?

Y-You guys are freaking me out.

Not all giant ventriloquist
heads eat children, okay?

- This one does not.
- Guess what, Teddy?

You and Bob are
hitting the road together.

- We are?
- Uh, yup.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Oh, this is gonna be great, Bob.

We're going for a joyride.

Uh, I don't think
that's the right term.

♪ Joyride, take it easy. ♪

Boy ride.

-Ooh, boy ride -Oh, my God.

But, uh, Teddy, we
should try and get back

as quickly as possible

so I can get to work
in the restaurant.

Oh, relax, Bob. We'll be fine.

- Take all day.
- Yup. Great.

Yeah, see the sights.

Try taking the
road less traveled.

Get your groove back.

Thanks, everyone.

Meet me out front
in 15 minutes, Bob,

- ready for fun. Ow!
- Oh, your face!

Ha. I'm just so excited. Ow!

Is something wrong with
this door? Heh. No, no, it's me.

That's not
gonna haunt my dreams.

I hope it does haunt mine.

- Mom, take my picture with it.
- No.

I don't want that
picture in our family.

Is the mini golf course
using it to scare people into

not golfing?

Mini golf already scares me.

I don't like things
that are "mini."

Ugh. You ready, Bob?

- Yup. Um, all set.
- Can you drive a stick?

Don't worry, I can.

Well, it's an automatic,
but whatever.

Bye, guys. Have a nice boy ride.

Boy
ride! Boy ride! Boy ride!

See you all very,
very soon, I hope.

Bye, everyone. Don't worry.

I'll bring him back
in one piece. Eh.

Oh, you know what it was?
The car was already started.

That's the sound you're hearin'.

Well, with Dad gone,
this should be a breezy day.

- I could use it. I've had a week.
- I heard that.

So long, Frowny, hello,
Clowny. Wait, I'm Clowny?

You know, you're just a little
more loosey-goosey at work.

- And when you blow your nose it makes a honking sound.
- Oh. Huh.

Would you prefer we call you
and Dad "Cranky and Skanky?"

No, no, Clowny's better.

So many empty
Tupperwares in here.

- I'm sitting on one.
- Yeah, I meant to stack those.

Hey, if you want, you can find
the lids that match the bottoms.

That's fun. Make it like a game.

I-I don't think
that's a fun game.

Hey, Bob, if you need to fart

like you just did, just tell me.

- I'll pull over and you can get out.
- I didn't fart.

There's no reason we
both have to suffer, right?

Teddy, I did not fart.

- I'll find a safe spot to pull over.
- Teddy...

You get out. You rip a fart.

- You get back in the car.
- I didn't fart!

That was either you, or
the truck smells like that.

- I didn't fart.
- Eh, forget about it.

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

So, what do you want
to talk about? Sports?

Deep stuff? Love?

- Mm-mm.
- Heartbreak?

- No.
- New beginnings?

- Mm-mm.
- Favorite tools?

- Mmm.
- - Funny Internet videos?

- Um...
- Hey, Bob, do me a favor

and hold that window shut.

Sometimes it starts whistling

when I get up around 50.

Do I have to hold
this the whole trip?

No. Just while we're
going faster than 50.

Anyway, ooh.

Do you wear socks
when you sleep?

Um, no.

I'm thinking about
trying one on and one off.

Hear me out. It all
started when I was a kid.

I lost one of my socks.

But that was just the beginning.

Oh, my God.

Whoops. That one was me.

So, long story short, my
butt is apparently lopsided,

and that's why I had
to return the pants.

- Uh-huh.
- This is great, huh, Bob?

Two friends on the open road,

seeing the world together
with all of its mysteries.

- Right?
- I mean, we're just running an errand.

He's a lonely guy.

Boy ride! Boy ride! Boy ride!

I mean, yeah, this is, uh,

this is definitely great, Teddy.

Wait, why are you exiting?

- I figure we can grab lunch.
- Lunch?

- Isn't it a little early?
- Maybe a little,

but this gas station up
here has the best hot dogs.

I drive this way all the time.

I make a lot of hot dog
stops, and these are top-notch.

Eh, maybe it's 'cause
they got the rollers

so they turn at
just the right speed.

- Okay.
- Cooking stuff.

- Way above our heads, right, pal?
- Mm.

Wait. Let me see who's
working right now, Kendall or Phil.

You know the people
who work here?

Of course. Shh, shh.

Trust me, you do not
want to get Kendall.

Let's just say if you drop
one mega-sip soda on the floor

and you do your
best to clean it up,

you'll still hear
about it for months.

Yes! It's Phil.

- High-five!
- Mm.

Here. People ordered some stuff.

Can you run these out to
the couple in the first booth?

Eh, I suppose I can swing it.

Wait. How do they
want this burger cooked?

I didn't ask. That's personal.

Go ask, please.

- Mom, do we have bacon?
- Yes, we do.

Good. One
cheeseburger, no tomato.

- And a bacon snack for me.
- No bacon for you right now.

Poop.

- Damn it.
- What was that noise?

Bus-Tub Jenga. I lost.

No more Bus-Tub Jenga, kids.

We're getting a
little busy in here.

Bus-Tub Twister? - No.

Oh, boy.

Lot of people.

Yeah, I just, uh,

put the hotdogs on the rollers,

press the on switch, and voilà!

There's got to be more
to it. He's being modest.

So, uh, what do we
owe you for the hot dogs?

- New nugget, Phil?
- Yep. Good eye.

Almost one gram.

Phil here pans for gold.

Every chance I get.

Is there a lot of
gold around here?

- You'd be surprised.
- In which way?

- How little.
- Then I'm not surprised, I guess, because...

Yeah, but I don't
do it for the gold.

I do it for the quality time
with my lady: Mother Nature.

I don't have a girlfriend.

- Which is nuts. Look at you.
- Huh. Anyway, uh,

we should definitely get going.

Uh, so please take this
money for the hot dogs.

Don't forget, you're
worthy of love.

Hey, can you even eat hot dogs?

Why wouldn't I be
able to eat a hot dog?

You're a burger guy.

Hot dogs and burgers
are enemies, right?

No. I-I think they're friends.

- Frenemies?
- Oh, my God, are we stopping again?

This place has the
cleanest bathrooms for miles.

I liked that hot dog,

but it did not like me.

- Oh. Terrific.
- You sure you don't need to go?

- No.
- No, you're not sure, or no, you don't have to go?

- I don't have to go!
- Okay, relax.

Can I borrow a couple of bucks?

This place makes you buy
something to use the restrooms,

and I only have twenties.

- So use a twenty.
- They don't like breaking big bills, Bob.

I don't want to be Mr. Big
Shot "Can you break a twenty?"

Mm.

So, you ladies are

in some sort of
group, it looks like.

Yeah! We're the Bon Viv-aunts.

We're all aunts who get
together once a month

and do something fun.

'Cause we don't have
kids and can do stuff.

And this month your
fun thing is coming here?

Uh, no. We're going
go-carting after this.

Oh. Well, look over the menu
and one of my professional children

will be right over
to take your orders.

- M'kay?
- Okay.

Just so you know, a few
more of us may trickle in.

Oh, great.

The more Bon
Viv-aunts, the merrier.

Kids, follow me.

- Family meeting.
- Should we try to get Dad on a Zoom?

Okay, now we're
slammed out there,

so we're gonna get
these people fed.

- Kids, are you listening?
- No. Is that bad?

Hey, hey, pay attention.

We're gonna refill
waters, collect money,

give correct change, and
say, "Thank you for coming."

Got it. "Thank you for
coming." Um, I'll do it better.

And we're gonna push
the burger of the day,

and we're gonna ask, "Do
you want fries with that?"

Because that's what I
would do if I was out there.

But I'm back here today,
so you got to be me, all right?

- Costume change!
- We'll do our best.

- Which, as you know, is not great.
- All right, all right.

Whoever sells the
most burgers of the day

and the most fries gets to be...

Employee of the Day!

- Which has a cash prize?
- No.

- Any prize?
- The prize is being the Employee of the Day.

Even Bus-Tub Jenga has a prize.

Yeah, not having to
clean up Bus-Tub Jenga.

Okay, fine! Whoever
sells the most gets...

a 20-second pull from
the soft serve machine, ah?

- Holy... - Whoa.
- Really?

- How about that?
- A 20-second pull?

- That's an eternity.
- That could fill my whole body.

Wait, can we do it, like,
straight from the nozzle

into our mouths?

No! Too many people have
died that way. I assume.

That's why it's so
tantalizing... It's forbidden.

I-I don't need to
be under the nozzle.

We're talking about, like,
a crap-load of ice cream.

- So I'm in. - Fine.
- Me, too.

Okay, good. Now, get out there.

Leave it all on the
field. No mercy.

Pep talk! Go!

What is taking him so long?

Oh, Tupperware!

- Oh, this again?
- Come on!

Hey, Teddy, uh, sorry, but
we should really get going.

Okay. Just let me go
to the bathroom first.

Wait, you haven't gone
to the bathroom yet?

Eh. I don't know how to say
this in mixed company, Bob,

but it changed its
mind a few times.

- It sounds like a fickle pickle.
- Bob, Bonnie. Bonnie, Bob.

- Hello. - Hi.
- Bonnie owns the place.

That's her new tow
truck. Pretty sweet, huh?

See the boom on that thing?
Give me a break with that winch.

Yeah, that's a really...
that's a really great boom.

I'm happy with the boom.

Speaking of booms, Teddy,
do you want to...

Right. Okay, let's
give this a shot.

So, I might just
go wait in the...

Bob's a small
business owner, too!

You-you guys
can talk about that.

- Oh, really?
- No, Teddy, don't do that.

Don't-don't call through
the bathroom door.

It's not necessary.

Oh, Bob, pick out a gum for me.

I-I didn't buy anything yet.

Oh, don't worry about that,
Teddy. This one's on me.

Nope, rules are rules.

Bob, read me the gums they have.

I don't like cinnamon
or mint or berry

or anything that's too chewy.

I'm gonna go wait in the
truck. Nice to meet you. Bye.

Bobby! The gum!

So, what's the weirdest
thing you ever towed?

Louise, no. Bring it back.
That's Gene's cheeseburger

- well done.
- Then where's my no-cheese medium?

There it is.

Tina, bring it
back, bring it back.

- Uh, sorry.
- Oh, uh...

Wait, I had a
cheeseburger well done?

- Gene!
- All these burgers look the same.

Should we make
them different shapes?

Is this a good time
to get an update

on who's winning the
contest and how it's me?

Oh, hold on, let me
check. No! You're all losing!

- What?!
- But I just sold a burger of the day.

And fries, I think.

And then you gave it
to the wrong person.

These Bon Viv-aunts
are so high-maintenance.

They insist on getting
the food that they ordered.

More like Bon Diva-aunts.

Okay, you know what?
Here's what's gonna happen.

I'm coming out there.
I'm gonna run food,

I'm gonna take orders,
and I'm still gonna cook.

What about Employee of the
Day? And ice cream of the mouth?

Ha! I bet I can outsell
all three of you combined.

So I'm entering the contest.

And when I win,
you have to watch me

eat the ice cream
in front of you. Huh?

From the nozzle!

You said we weren't allowed!

You're still not allowed,
'cause you're gonna lose.

But if we win, all three of us
get ice cream off the nozzle.

Yeah, you can
have that sad dream.

That'll never happen.

You've made a powerful
enemy, Linda Belcher!

Okay, uh, looks like
we take the next left,

and the diner where
I'm gonna get the sink

should be right
there. That's it.

You don't have to hold
that window shut right now.

We're not going fast.

That's good. It definitely hurts

to hold it shut this whole time.

Okay, thanks. Sorry again

for being so much later
than we talked about.

He, uh, he stopped many times.

Ah, that's fine. Enjoy the sink.

- I will.
- Okay, then.

See, Teddy? That's
how you run an errand.

No small talk, no fuss,

just a clean,
efficient exchange.

Hey, you. New used sink.

I've been looking
forward to meeting you.

Let's get us home.

- Teddy, is that you?
- Gerry?

Why-why is this happening to me?

What are you doing here?

I'm running Big Dummy
here up to the mini golf course,

and I'm also delivering
this giant head.

- Ow.
- Ah, just kidding.

Bob, Gerry. Gerry, Bob.

Gerry here has an antique
store not too far from here.

I built him some
shelves a while ago.

I double-checked to
make sure they were level,

so the worn-out old
plates didn't fall off.

They're not worn
out, they're antiques.

It's what we sell.

Gerry.

Hey, do you still play the lute?

I sure dute. Switched
to electric, though.

Electric lute? Ooh, I'd
love to hear that sometime.

- Well, you, sir, are in luck.
- Oh, no.

My metal band is practicing
in the garage right now.

Called Iron Prostate.

The singer is a urologist.

- No. No. No.
- Yes to all of that.

Uh, yeah, that sounds so good.

But we should
probably get going.

Bob, come on, just ten minutes.

15 minutes tops.

It's our first
practice ever, so...

- should be fun.
- Great, great, great, great, great.

Hello, Tokyo!

We're pretending
we're playing in Tokyo.

♪ Yeah...! ♪

♪ Ba-la-la-la, da-na-na,
da-na-na, la-la-la! ♪

Man, that band was great!

You're quiet, Bob.
Are you thinking

- about what a fun day this has been?
- Mm-hmm.

- Window, Bob.
- I really hate this window.

Next stop, dropping off
Big Dummy, then home.

- Great.
- And one quick stop before that.

- Wait, what? No. No.
- I swear it'll be fast.

- Please no.
- Okay, not fast fast,

but I'm literally just dropping
off these Tupperwares.

Did you get all the lids on?

I meant to, but I had
to hold the window, so...

Okay, I'll hold the window
shut. You do the lids.

- -No, stop.
- Teddy. I... I will do it.

Thanks for coming by!

Let me top off your waters, hon.

Here you go. Burger
of the day and fries.

- Oh, fork!
- Wow. Thank you.

Eh, fork-get about it.

How the hell are we
supposed to keep up with her?

- She's a machine!
- She's some sort of restaurant wizard.

Or a restaurant witch.

What the hell are you guys
doing just standing here?

We've got a contest to win.
Stop bussing and start selling.

I'm paralyzed by a
combination of fear and awe.

I'm just tired.

Come on, there's three
of us and one of her.

We can do this.

We're talking about
getting ice cream

- straight from the nozzle!
- Ah, you're right.

I'll do whatever it takes to
get my mouth under that thing!

- That's the spirit.
- Same here.

So, take Mom out? Too far?

Maybe. We'll see. Let's go!

I'll be the first to admit it,

it took a little longer
than I thought to get here.

Only twice as long as you said.

I-I didn't notice it at all.

There it is! I'm just
gonna hand these to him,

and I'll be right
back... No chitchat.

Even though he was very
excited about this cornbread.

And it's the only time I've
been paid in cornbread.

And I have a lot of questions
about the cornbread.

But it-it's okay, I'll
follow up with him later.

Hello, sink. Are you
having fun back there?

I kind of wish I was riding
with you and not that man.

I can't wait to
rinse things in you.

I hope that didn't sound crude.

- Why do you still have those?
- He's not home.

All the lights are off, and he's
not answering the doorbell.

It's okay, we can just wait
in the truck for a little bit.

No, Teddy, just leave the
Tupperware at the door,

and let's go.

Leave it at the
door? Are you crazy?

Someone might steal it!

No one's gonna steal Tupperware!

Ah, I'll just bring it
back some other time.

Hey, you can come
with me if you want.

No!

I mean, no, thank you.

Suit yourself. So, uh,

you want to hop out and
help me turn this thing around?

- Wait, what?
- It's gonna be tight.

Probably a five-point
turn, maybe seven.

I could use your eyes out there.

Okay, sure.

Call out directions
and rotate your hands

like you're turning the
steering wheel, okay?

- How is that helpful?
- It's just simpler that way.

Like you're operating my hands.

Do you want to
practice a little first?

- No, Teddy, I think I got it.
- You sure?

These things can be pretty
stressful in the moment.

- I'm good, Teddy.
- Okay.

All right, cut the
wheels this way.

Okay, stop.

- Now this way.
- Wait, which way?

You need to turn the
wheels to the right,

so I'm turning to the
right, like you said.

So turn the wheel
to the right, Teddy.

Yeah, but I'm looking at you
in the mirror, so it's reversed.

Just turn the wheels right!

- This way?
- No!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

No, no, no! Big Dummy!

Great! Now we're stuck.

- Oh, my God.
- And look at Big Dummy!

What did you do, Bob?

Me? I did it the
way you told me to!

No, you didn't, Bob.

This is why we
should have practiced.

Well, I shouldn't have been
giving you directions at all.

I shouldn't have
even come on this trip.

I should have just driven myself

and tied the sink to
the top of my stupid car.

Yeah, well, why didn't you, Bob?

- Because I felt sorry for you, okay?
- What?

This isn't a boy ride, Teddy!

I'm your pity passenger!

What's all the ruckus?

Hey, Mr. Estock. It's me, Teddy.

Sorry I dropped a giant
ventriloquist head on your lawn.

I mean, Bob kind of did.

I came to return
your Tupperware.

This is Bob, who I
thought was my friend,

but I guess he's just
my pity passenger.

Oh. Hello.

I thought I was
your friend, Teddy,

but friends don't hold
friends hostage in their truck

while they talk to every single
person at every single exit!

And now we're stuck here.

Sorry, Mr. Estock, it seems
like a nice neighborhood.

It was nice, until this.

I'll call and get a tow.

His eyes follow me.

It knows what I'm thinking.

One for us,

and the last one's Mom's.

Damn it! Mom beat us by
one frickin' burger of the day.

No...!

We almost had it all.

We worked so hard, and for what?

- Aw.
- Just a well-run restaurant

and a bunch of
satisfied bon fa-faunts.

Oh, uh, wait a minute,
uh, I didn't sell these fries.

Gene sold these fries.

It was my table, but
they got his attention

and added another
order of fries.

Yeah, they called me
Pumpkin and I liked it.

Everyone call me
Pumpkin from now on.

So technically,
Gene gets that sale.

- You guys win.
- We do?

Yeah. It's official.

You're the Employees of the Day.

- Yay!
- We win, you lose!

We win, you
lose! We win, you lose!

- Okay, okay.
- Hey, don't feel too bad, Mom.

- You were pretty amazing today.
- Yeah?

Yeah, we thought you
were the laid-back one,

but it turns out that's just
'cause you make it look easy.

You're actually a
beast. A gorgeous beast.

We should be
calling you Pumpkin.

Aw. Me, Pumpkin.

- I said "should."
- You cooked, you served,

and you didn't gripe
about it like Dad does.

Do we need him? Cut him out?

Split the money four ways?

Nah, it'd be too hard
to change the sign.

Hey, go get your ice cream.

- Oh! Whoa! Aah!
- Nozzle! - Gimme!

- Let me in there!
- Ah, yum-yum-yum-yum-yum-yum...

Gene, slow
down! You're gonna choke!

I don't care!
Yum-yum-yum-yum...

Yeah, you should be good to go.

Thanks, Bonnie. Hey,
remember when I asked you

what's the weirdest
thing you ever towed?

It's gotta be this now, right?

Nope. Still the
mobile tattoo parlor.

Lot of complaints
about those tattoos.

- Not from this gal, though.
- Hey, what is that?

It's Blinky from Pac-Man.

Ha-ha! I bet
there's a story there.

Me and my brother used
to play Pac-Man together.

He got "Clyde."

- Ah, that's nice.
- Oh, Teddy,

you like asking people
about themselves, don't you?

Well, yeah.

- People are interesting.
- Teddy fixed the porch for me.

He wasn't here half the
day, and he got me talking

about my late wife's
cornbread recipe.

- How was it, by the way?
- It was really somethin'.

- I ran out of corn.
- That explains it.

Well, we better get going.

Why are you staring, Bob?

Hey, Teddy? I...

I-I want to say something.

I guess maybe I
thought you were lonely,

but you're really not, at all.

You make friends
wherever you go,

and you're so interested
in people, all the time.

I, um, am never
interested in people.

I-I don't like
people... that much.

Not you guys, though.
You-you seem great.

But I don't really
like that about myself,

and I guess I really
admire that about you.

Oh, thanks. And hey,
don't beat yourself up, Bob.

You are like that, kind of,

with the six people
you already know.

But yeah, maybe you
could branch out a bit.

I'll try. Thank you
again, Connie.

- It's Bonnie.
- Right. Sorry.

Hey, Bob, hear me out.

Before we drop off Big Dummy,

do you want to try
the best beef jerky

- you'll ever have in your life?
- That actually sounds great.

Yes! It's just up ahead.

Now, the guy who runs
this place... real character...

He has a hook for a hand.

- Don't stare at it, okay?
- Okay.

Just kidding. He
loves to talk about it.

He used to juggle chain saws,

but that's not how
he lost his hand.

- What? Really?
- Yeah, that's how he lost his foot.

- - Window, Bob.
- On it.

♪ Hitting the road ♪

♪ With a Big Dummy head ♪

♪ Gonna pick up a sink ♪

♪ Yeah, that's what I said ♪

♪ All right ♪

♪ Da, na, ba-duh, ba-duh ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪

♪ Da, na, ba-duh, ba-duh ♪

♪ Boy ride ♪

♪ Da, na, ba-duh, ba-duh ♪

- ♪ Take it easy... ♪ -
Come on, get into to it, Bobby!

♪ Boy ride... ♪

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