Original subtitles

I... am... Spider-Man.

[Norman] Oscorp's best engineers now work round the clock for you.

[♪ tense music playing]

[grunts]

[Bulldozer] The Scorpions are trying to move in on our turf, Don.

The guy runnin' the whole operation, Mac Gargan, is an even bigger psycho.

- You sent me in there using your name! - Wake up!

You wanna protect your family? Without us pushing back,

Gargan and Carmilla would be knockin' on their front door.

Now comes the fun part!

[tires screeching]

I will be back for you all.

[grunting]

Holy crap! You're Spider-Man.

No, I'm n... not.

[reporter] Their accomplice, a woman known as Mila Masaryk,

is still at large.

Ms. Masaryk, how can I help you this evening?

[♪ The Math Club feat. Relaye, Melo Makes Music "Neighbor Like Me" playing]

[chorus] ♪ Hey there ♪

♪ There goes the Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spider-Man ♪

♪ Does whatever a spider can ♪

♪ Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spider-Man Spider-Man ♪

-♪ There goes the Spider-Man ♪ - [Relaye] ♪ Yeah! Eh! ♪

♪ There we go There we go ♪

♪ There we go again ♪

♪ Swinging through the city so fast You can barely notice him ♪

♪ Wall crawler ♪

♪ You know what's after that ♪

♪ Friendly neighborhood He's taking care of the habitat ♪

♪ Urban acrobat ♪

♪ Don't know where he find the time Fighting crime ♪

♪ Humble beginnings And now we flyin' high ♪

♪ Spi-Spidey sense Superpower science kid ♪

♪ You don't think it's fair I got the world's smallest violin ♪

♪ At the pinnacle Perched at the top ♪

♪ It's daily and it never stops ♪

[chorus] ♪ Hey there ♪

[Relaye] ♪ Need my city, my city it need me ♪

♪ A hero not a vigilante ♪

[chorus] ♪ There goes the Spider-Man ♪

[Relaye] ♪ Taking off the mask I know what you see ♪

[chorus] ♪ Look out ♪

[Relaye] ♪ Know you want a neighbor like me ♪

♪ Cleaning up Queens, NYC ♪

♪ And I do it even better with a team ♪

[chorus] ♪ Here comes the Spider-Man ♪

- [♪ mischievous music playing] - [man] Ms. Masaryk,

it's a pleasure to meet you. And right on time.

[chuckles] I can't help but admit that I'm pleasantly surprised.

Punctuality usually isn't a strong suit for many in this industry.

[chuckles nervously] Uh...

- You are the man selling weapons? - Weapons?

No, my dear.

I sell enhancements

that assist hard-working individuals like yourself and your accomplices.

Speaking of which, I'm surprised to see you've come alone.

Yes. I know we discussed getting enhancements for myself and my friends,

but [sighs] they've recently been incarcerated.

I'm thinking, instead of buying four pieces of tech,

you could sell me one that will allow me to free them.

Of course.

If you have the appropriate funds, that is.

[♪ villainous music swells]

[lights clicking]

- [Dr. Octavius] Impressive, right? - [scoffs]

I was expecting a bit more than a warehouse full of scrap metal.

Oh, yes. I'm sure there were those that questioned da Vinci

when he began to create masterpieces in a shack.

[chuckles] It often takes a genius to see what lies ahead

when most can barely see beyond the trees.

But with that said, I cannot disagree

that more fitting accommodations are a priority of mine.

[chuckles] And I'm one step closer, thanks to your generous funding.

Ah. Here it is.

With this prime piece of Octavius Tech, you'll free your associates in no time.

Oy. [speaking Russian]

[in English] I've picked up a language or five in my spare time.

But, yes, that helmet has been outfitted with constantly updating,

predictive technology that analyzes movement patterns.

It also fires lasers.

Lasers. That, I understand.

Excellent.

It was an absolute pleasure doing business with you, my dear.

If you have any questions, consult the instructions.

- Please exit the same way you came in. - [door opens]

And thank you again for your patronage.

- [door closes] - [sighs]

[groans] Vincent, begin disinfecting the lab immediately.

Yes, sir.

[♪ mischievous music intensifying]

These people, this situation, it's all beneath me.

I know, sir, [sighs] but we're almost there.

Soon enough, you'll have everything you need to show the world

the things a true genius is capable of--

"Soon enough" is never soon enough, Vincent.

My name should be held in higher regard than Stark, Banner, Osborn!

You will be.

We're so close to seeing your dream realized

and showing the world just how incredible you are.

- [keypad beeps] - [door hisses]

[Dr. Octavius] You're right. I've waited this long,

but soon everyone will know and revere the name of Dr. Otto Octavius.

[♪ mischievous music swells]

[sighs]

[Harry sighs]

[pops]

[Peter clears throat]

- Um, so... - So.

- Oh, sorry. I can't believe that you're-- - I mean, yesterday was--

- [Harry stammers] - Peter,

thank you for stopping by this morning.

I know you have school soon,

but I figured this is a conversation that should happen in person.

The sooner, the better.

I've given what happened last night a lot of thought.

I've decided that the only course of action

is for Harry to join Team Spider-Man.

[both] Wait, what?

Peter, as much as I want to assist you,

there are gonna be times in which I'm unavailable

due to my various duties here at Oscorp.

That's where Harry comes in.

He may only be 15--

- Sixteen. - [sighs]

Sixteen.

But I've raised him to be quite a responsible young man.

- He can be your-- - Dude at the desk!

Not how I would have put it, but sure.

[laughs] This is gonna be awesome.

Me, helping Spider-Man save the city?

- Hell, yeah! - [Peter clears throat]

I don't really know about this, Mr. Osborn.

I mean, no offense, but I barely know Harry and--

- [intercom beeps] - [secretary] Mr. Osborn,

you're needed for an investor meeting.

Thank you, Ms. Porter.

My apologies for getting cut short, but trust me, Peter,

this is the best course of action for us all.

So, [chuckles] that was somethin', right?

Yep. [sighs]

So, you're my "Dude at the desk?"

Sure seems like it.

Uh... Ah...

[chuckles] Sorry, what was your name again?

- Peter. - [Harry] Right.

Peter. Cool, cool.

Uh, good name.

[sighs]

Well, I guess I should get going to school before I'm late again.

Oh, uh... You need a ride?

- [engine revving] - [♪ upbeat rock music playing]

- [boy 1] Who drives that car? - [boy 2] Who's that?

- [boy 3] Do you know him? - [girl] Harry Osborn?

- Thanks again for the ride, Harry. - No problem, Peter.

Have a good one, dude. Catch you after school.

- [engine revving] - [tires screeching]

- [lively chatter] - [school bell rings]

Pete, are you kidding me?

I know! I'm on time for once. I can barely believe it myself.

Not that. You're hanging out with Harry Osborn?

Everyone in school is talking about it. Even the teachers.

- Yeah, that's him. - [woman gasps]

I'm gonna wave. I'm gonna wave.

[chuckles sheepishly]

Okay, but why?

Take a look for yourself.

Yep.

When he's not acting as your personal Lyft driver,

he's also a social media celebrity.

Oh, I had no idea Harry was so popular.

I just know him as Mr. Osborn's son.

In addition to being a vapid pretty boy,

he's the heir of a big business tycoon.

Meaning, he'll undoubtedly pursue a political path 20 years from now.

And, of course, he'll win,

so the economy will tank, people will become restless,

and I'll have no choice but to join the revolution against him.

Okay, you have clearly put a lot of thought into this, Nico.

Here's a question for ya.

If you believe Harry's so bad, why are you following him?

Uh... [chuckles nervously] Oh, obviously, I'm following him ironically.

- [chuckles] - Right.

[clears throat] I'm just saying, Pete.

You've been doing a lot lately and hanging out with a lot of people.

You know, juniors, seniors, billionaires.

I wanna make sure you're still making time for...

for you.

Thanks, Nico.

Yeah, things have been... mm, busy lately,

but I appreciate you worrying about me.

Someone's gotta do it.

Who knows what you'd do without me, Pete.

[Grayfield sighs] What in the name of Rockford T. Bales

is goin' on with you, Lincoln?

And you're good, but I can't justify lettin' you skip practice.

You're the team captain, for goodness' sake.

I know. And you're right.

I've just had some personal things goin' on, Coach.

I get that, Lonnie.

But you gotta get your head on straight, son.

This isn't just high school football for you.

You got the skills to go pro.

Don't throw it all away now.

[phone vibrating]

[clicks]

I'm not gonna throw my chance away.

There isn't a guy on this team that's more dedicated toward this than I am.

I know it may not have seemed like that lately,

but you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for this team.

[sighs] I know you're dedicated, but,

well, these college scouts that come to these games,

they don't know that.

Don't give 'em a reason to look past you, son.

I won't.

All right. Get your butt to class, Lonnie. I'll see you at practice.

[footsteps approaching]

Oh! Lonnie! Small world, right?

[both chuckle]

So, how much of that did you hear?

[scoffs] Just a little bit.

[chuckles]

Okay, 100%. [chuckles]

What can I say? I'm an overachiever.

[chuckles] Overachiever?

I'd say expert-level snoop.

So, do you want to talk about it?

Nah, there's not much to talk about.

But what I would like to do is walk you to class.

[Pearl chuckles]

Oh, Petey and I have been covering for you,

so you might have to convince Mr. Taylor you've had bronchitis for the last week.

Aw, you guys are great. Okay, how's this?

[in a raspy voice] Sorry, Mr. Taylor.

I left it all on the field, even my voice. [in normal voice] Huh?

[laughs] Stick to football, Lon.

Because your acting is not it.

So, it's anyone's guess what's gonna happen with the Avengers now.

You know, I've never been a Tony Stark fan...

- [boy] Whoo! Look out! - Right.

But I can't say Captain America is totally in the right either.

- [Peter] Yeah. - [Nico] I mean,

maybe Super people should have to register...

- Mm-hmm. - ...for everyone's safety.

Like, imagine if me and you got super suits

and went around causing collateral damage and punching people.

[chuckles nervously] That would be weird.

You know what's even more weird than that, though?

You ignoring me when I mention Captain America,

even though he's, like, your messiah.

You too busy texting your new pal, The Great and Powerful Osboy?

Ha-ha. Actually, I was buying two tickets for tonight's screening

of Teschio di Fuoco Two, Return of the Burn.

Holy crap! Are you messing with me right now?

Because if you are, I will throw you into orbit.

I know, I couldn't believe it either,

but one of the arthouse theaters got an unreleased copy somehow

and they're showing it tonight at 7:00.

You in?

To watch the sequel to the best worst B-movie of all time on the big screen?

- Of course, I am! - Great.

[Nico] I'll see you tonight at 7:00.

- Oh, look who showed up. - Lonnie! Where you been, man?

- Finally. Finally. - Our star quarterback, everybody!

Yo, you remember what this is? It's called a football.

[all laughing]

Yeah, yeah, okay. Look, get everything out now,

'cause once we're back on that field, y'all gonna be eating those words. Okay?

Ha-ha, funny.

[player] ...actually showed up for practice?

[phone vibrating]

[♪ tense music playing]

- [phone beeps] - Hello.

Answer a question for me, Superstar.

I texted you earlier to get to the hideout ASAP, so why ain't you here?

[Lonnie] Look, my coach is all--

I don't really care about your excuse.

The Scorpions are on our turf,

so I need every member of the One Tenth here, now!

What? I'm at school, man. Football practice.

Even if I left now, it would take a while to get back to Harlem.

Yeah, I know, that's why I sent Bulldozer to pick you up.

Him and some of the boys are parked outside right now.

[Grayfield] Joinin' us today, Lincoln?

Oh. Oh, yeah, Coach. One minute.

Just dealing with some family stuff, you know.

Okay. But I want you on that field in 60 seconds.

I can't keep skipping out on practice.

I'm gonna get kicked off the team.

I'm sorry, I missed the part where that was my problem.

You signed up for this, Lincoln.

Now, I suggest you go outside

and meet Dozer before I send him inside to meet with you.

Fine. I'm on my way.

All right, everybody out there!

Let's get our butts in gear! Come on, now!

[♪ somber music playing]

[neck cracks]

[comms beeps]

- [Harry on comms] So... - [exclaims]

...how was school today, Mr. Spider-Man?

[laughs] Were you seriously just waiting for me to turn the comms on?

All right. I'm gonna be completely honest with you.

I most definitely was. I was so bored, dude.

[Peter] Bored?

Don't you have millions of adoring fans to respond to?

Ninety percent of my DMs are people asking me, "How did you get rich?"

So, not much conversation there besides saying, "I was born."

- [cat meowing] - Hmm. Fair point.

And what about school? I mean, no classes to distract you?

You'd think so, considering I'm homeschooled

by "the smartest instructors money can buy,"

as my dad likes to say.

But I'm a pretty quick learner, so that frees up my day quite a bit.

Man, being homeschooled sounds like the life.

[chuckles] Yeah. Hey, the first few years are a blast.

But once you realize there's no one around to talk to,

since all your old friends are busy at school

and all your new friends are either using you for clout

or are just spam bots, the shine starts to wear off the whole experience.

Hmm. Yeah, I mean, I guess I didn't consider that.

Since we're sharing, I gotta ask.

- What's up with the new suit? - What? You don't like my suit?

It's not that. It's cool. It's just kind of...

Sterile?

- [Harry] That's it. - [sighs]

Honestly, it could use a lot more color too.

True. I... I would like a lot more red and blue.

- Like Captain America. - Captain America.

[Peter] Wait, you're a Cap fan too?

I thought everyone was turning on him now.

[chuckles] No way, man.

So he broke a few laws to help his best friend.

Who wouldn't?

Besides, I read online the real Cap died four years ago

and it's his clone that's been doing all this.

[Peter] For sure.

Wait, what?

[indistinct chatter]

[grunting]

- [clinking] - [♪ suspenseful music playing]

[man] Don't worry, it ain't gonna hurt.

- [Mikhail] Hmm? - [man] Better watch out.

[speaking Russian]

[machine powering up]

- [explosion] - [alarm blaring, ringing]

- [man in English] What the hell? Get back! - Mila?

Privyet, Mikhail.

I told you I'd be back for you.

- Did I not? [grunts] - And I believed you.

Although, Dmitri and Roxanna may need convincing.

- I believe they are convinced. - [sirens blaring]

- How did you-- - [officer 1] Hey, stop right there!

- Get on the ground. Put your hands up! - [officer 2] Freeze!

- Hands where I can see 'em! - I will show you. [grunts]

[officer 3] Look out!

[Mikhail] Mila?

Uh, the Octagonal man you mentioned. This is the tech you purchased?

Da.

It was expensive, but necessary to free you three.

Then I like it. Makes you look like a rhino, yes?

Nyet, nyet.

I'm more like a... yedinorog.

Ah, yes. The unicorn.

Yes, yes. You look wonderful.

We should be focused on escaping now, right?

Mm, no. First, we will have a bit of fun.

- [powering up] - [yells]

[crowd screaming]

[cackling]

Hey, I just stole that bike and-- [groans]

Nice work. What are you gonna do with the bike?

[Peter] Good question.

If I put a note on it, people would respect the honor system?

[Harry] Crap. Forget the note.

- There's a jailbreak in progress. - [Peter] What? Where?

[Harry] One sec, I'm uploading the GPS coordinates to your suit.

- [muffled grunting] - [Peter] You can do that?

Oh, that's gonna be so helpful, especially at night.

It's so easy to get lost when you're swinging above--

- [Harry] Peter, go! - [Peter] Ah, right!

- [♪ intense music playing] - [officers groan]

- [groans] - [grunts]

[yells]

[yells]

[exclaiming]

- [powering up, beeping] - End of the road, little piggy.

[officer groans]

- [gasps] - [Peter grunts]

[Spider-Man] I'm not one to give unsolicited advice,

but trust me, a little yoga and some anger management classes

will probably help with that whole

firing-lasers-from-your-forehead thing you got goin'.

I recognize you, bug!

Aw, a fan. I'll tell you what.

You surrender, I'll make sure you get a signed photo.

[Mila yells]

[Harry] Dude, that lady is firing lasers at you!

- [Mila grunts] - [Spider-Man grunts]

Yeah, I noticed.

[grunts]

[♪ heroic music playing]

[beeping]

[Spider-Man] I gotta close the gap.

[chuckles]

What?

- [grunts] - [Spider-Man grunts] That's new.

Perhaps now is the time in which we sneak away

before the arachnid notices us, huh?

- Good idea. Come on, Mikhail. - No.

I will not abandon Mila.

- She is only here to save us. - [Dmitri] Da.

Because she abandoned us and felt guilty.

It's smarter to use this distraction while we can.

Unless you enjoyed being caged like a beast?

[Mikhail sighs]

Very well. Then we shall see you around, hopefully.

Is that all you've got, [panting] little spider?

I'm just gettin' started.

[dog barking in distance]

'Bout time you two got here.

You almost missed out on the fun.

Oh, man. You and I have very different definitions of fun.

[♪ tense music playing]

[man] Would you look at this!

They actually showed up.

See, the streets were saying that the One Tenth was all talk.

A bunch of nobodies, led by the biggest nobody of all.

But look at you, [laughs] you're all here.

And all it took was me and the Scorpions coming over here to mark our territory.

Your territory?

[scoffs] I heard your ass is crazy, Gargan,

but we both know this is One Tenth turf.

Oh, is it?

Because from where I'm standing, this is moving day.

The only choice you gotta make is if you wanna hand the keys over,

or if I need to take 'em.

You listen to me, Gargan.

You got three seconds to get your ass off my turf,

or it'll be the last place you ever stand.

Three seconds?

Three, two,

one. [snaps fingers]

- [gasps] - [Scorpions shouting]

- [♪ intense music playing] - [Big Donovan grunts]

- [Mila] Slowing down, little spider? - [Spider-Man groans]

Why don't you give up?

Well, you know what they say about the Itsy Bitsy Spider right?

- They're-- Whoa! - [yells]

[thugs grunting, groaning]

[Carmilla grunting]

[Spider-Man] Harry! You find anything?

No. I mean, she's referred to as "a physically gifted athlete."

[grunts] You sure she's not a distant cousin of the Hulk or something?

[Harry] Gotta be the helmet.

I mean, the other villains you fought all had little upgrades, didn't they?

[Mila] I'm tired of playing this game with you, bug!

- Perhaps it's time I find new playmates? - [people gasping]

[Spider-Man] Hey! No, wait!

[yells]

[people scream]

- [people gasping] - [Spider-Man] Gotcha.

- [crowd screaming] - Mila, you've had your fun,

but perhaps now is the time to escape.

You would have me run from a battle like a coward,

- when I can walk away the victor? [scoffs] - [sighs]

- [man grunts] - [Spider-Man] You okay?

[gasps]

- [Mila grunts] - [groaning]

[grunting]

- [groans] - [Mila grunts]

[groaning]

[Mila] After all of this fighting,

- all you needed was... - [grunts]

...a little distraction to lose your edge, hmm?

[Spider-Man] Yeah. No, I have a pesky habit of saving people that are in danger.

But now that everyone's gone, [grunts] you've got my full attention.

- [♪ intense music continuing] - [groans]

- [gasps] - [yells]

[all grunting]

[grunts]

Luckily, I have a contingency plan.

Mikhail!

[growling]

Don, look out!

- [powering up] - Watch this.

[Peter] No!

[Peter groans]

- [Lonnie grunts] - [groans]

[explosions]

[gasps]

[groans]

Big mistake, kid. [grunts]

[groans]

[sirens wailing]

We don't have time for him, Mac!

- The police! - [grunts]

This ain't over.

- [woman] Let's go! - [man] The police! We gotta go!

Come on, Lonnie! We gotta go, now!

All right. I'm comin'.

[tires screech]

[groans]

[gasps]

[Harry] Spider-Man! Spider--

- [static interruption] - [Harry] Come in, Spider-Man! Say s--

Aw. Looks like I win.

[Mikhail] What in the hell was that?

I'd be dead if not for the bug!

What were you thinking?

The spider's foolish morals meant he would save you.

And you would gamble with my life to prove a point?

Oh, get over yourself, huh?

[grunting]

[Spider-Man groaning]

Farewell, little spider.

- [growls] - [laughing]

- [grunts] - [exclaims]

- Mikhail, what are you doing? - Stopping you.

The longer we linger here,

the more likely the Iron Man or his friends will appear.

- Now, let's go. - Oh, my God. You fool!

The only reason you're not in a cell right now is because of me.

You do not call the shots, Mikhail. I do!

- You would do well to remember that. - [helicopter hovering]

[growls]

[grunts]

[gasps]

[Spider-Man] You shouldn't have. But I didn't get you anything.

Oh, wait. Here!

[shouts, groans]

[muffled grunting]

[sirens wailing]

[Spider-Man] Thanks for your help. I--

You may have saved my life,

but do not speak to me as if we are friends.

Thanks to you, now Mila and I will both rot in cells.

[indistinct police chatter]

[♪ menacing music playing]

[Mikhail] Consider us even, bug.

But if you are ever unfortunate enough to cross my path again,

all the web you can spin won't be enough to restrain me from ending your existence.

Oh. Uh, okay. That's... a lot.

[grunts]

[♪ heroic music playing]

- [♪ whimsical music playing] - Hey, Mr. Spider-Man, still alive?

[sighs] Barely. I'm close to Oscorp.

Is it okay if I come take a nap on your dad's couch?

Yeah, I get it. I'm exhausted and I'm just sitting here.

You're fighting crime after a day of school.

I don't know how you do it, man.

[Spider-Man] It is not easy. [sighs]

Usually, I'm getting pulled in so many different directions

that I make mistakes or forget something important--

Oh, crap! I'm supposed to meet my friend at the movies!

[horns honking]

[sighs] Come on, Pete. Where are you?

[Peter] Nico!

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[sighs in relief] Finally.

Pete, what happened to your face?

Oh, you know how in cartoons people slip on banana peels?

Uh, well, life imitates art.

Oh, uh, well, I'm glad you're okay,

but [chuckles] can't lie though,

I was beginning to think you were gonna bail on me again.

No such luck. You are stuck with me.

[chuckles] Lucky me.

Sorry about the wait, it's a nightmare finding parking around here.

Hey, thanks for letting me crash the movie.

- [man] That's Harry Osborn. - Oh, and nice to meet you, Nico.

All right.

Well, I'm starving.

And I'll see you guys at the concession stand.

I hope it's cool I invited Harry.

He was nice enough to give me a ride,

and it seemed like he was just gonna have a lonely night at home.

Oh, yeah. Uh, just took me by surprise for a second.

It's no problem at all.

You sure?

Yeah. Totally.

Okay, awesome.

Come on, let's grab some snacks. My treat.

[sighs]

It's fine.

[♪ rap music playing on speakers, Old Man Saxon "Hell Yeah"]

[Big Donovan] There he is.

What? What did I do now, man?

Besides become a human pincushion?

You saved my ass. That's what you did.

Y'all should've seen it.

I was giving those Scorpion punks the hands, son,

when Gargan tried to sneak me with a damn knife.

Luckily, Superstar was there.

Tackled Gargan like he was in the NFL,

- planted his ass right in the ground. - [gasps]

- [thugs cheering] - Yeah! All right! Yeah!

- [thug 1] Yeah - [thug 2] All right!

[thug 3] He the man! Way to go!

Hey, uh, I had my doubts about you, Superstar.

But tonight, you proved where your loyalties lie.

You're certified One Tenth.

[thug] Yeah. Straight up.

Well, if that's the case, I need a favor.

I need you to stop calling me "Superstar," man, 'cause I hate it.

- [thugs laughing] - [laughs] Deal.

Hell, the way you buried Gargan, we should start calling you "Gravedigger."

Nah, we should call you "Tombstone."

- Tombstone? - [thug] I like it. Yeah.

Yeah, I can't lie.

Kinda like it.

[♪ suspenseful music swells]

[♪ music fades]

[♪ closing theme music playing]

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