Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,652 --> 00:00:05,245
And here's another
interesting weather fact.
2
00:00:05,366 --> 00:00:07,256
Another? Great!
3
00:00:07,954 --> 00:00:11,262
Changes in jet streams
can affect the speed
4
00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:13,615
at which the Earth
rotates on its axis,
5
00:00:13,645 --> 00:00:17,202
so bad weather can actually
make the day longer.
6
00:00:17,302 --> 00:00:20,170
Well, there must be a hell
of a storm somewhere.
7
00:00:22,213 --> 00:00:25,705
Joke if you must, but you're
going to miss these moments.
8
00:00:25,772 --> 00:00:27,635
With Leonard home
in a few days,
9
00:00:27,671 --> 00:00:30,575
this was your last time driving
me to the grocery store.
10
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,622
You know, I will miss this.
11
00:00:32,906 --> 00:00:35,806
I'll tell you what, if
my apples are mealy,
12
00:00:35,843 --> 00:00:39,822
we'll hit the produce section
for one last crazy blowout.
13
00:00:40,336 --> 00:00:42,347
Heck, you can even
push the cart.
14
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:47,017
Please don't take my looking
forward to Leonard's return
15
00:00:47,038 --> 00:00:50,732
as criticism of the job you've
been doing in his absence.
16
00:00:50,781 --> 00:00:51,995
I won't.
17
00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:55,760
That criticism will come
later in your report card.
18
00:00:56,442 --> 00:01:00,776
Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention,
I'm not gonna read the report card.
19
00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:06,009
- Hello.
- Leonard!
20
00:01:06,032 --> 00:01:07,438
- Shh, shh.
- Hi!
21
00:01:07,449 --> 00:01:08,662
- Keep your voice down.
- Oh, my God.
22
00:01:08,688 --> 00:01:10,169
You weren't supposed
to be here till Sunday!
23
00:01:10,189 --> 00:01:12,923
We finished the experiment early, so I
thought I'd come home and surprise you.
24
00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:14,386
Oh, my gosh, why
are we whispering?
25
00:01:14,403 --> 00:01:17,016
I didn't tell Sheldon, so we
could have a few days alone.
26
00:01:17,055 --> 00:01:19,111
Oh, that is so romantic.
27
00:01:19,183 --> 00:01:21,361
Uh, sure, that's why I did it.
28
00:01:22,155 --> 00:01:25,106
Oh... I just cannot
believe you're here.
29
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:27,023
Penny, it's your lucky day!
30
00:01:27,062 --> 00:01:30,842
Three of the eggs are clearly
not jumbo. Grab your keys.
31
00:01:32,586 --> 00:01:36,050
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
32
00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:39,888
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
33
00:01:39,911 --> 00:01:41,182
♪ The Earth began to cool
34
00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,195
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
35
00:01:44,209 --> 00:01:46,155
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
36
00:01:46,188 --> 00:01:49,025
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
37
00:01:49,045 --> 00:01:51,040
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
38
00:01:51,059 --> 00:01:52,059
♪ Bang! ♪
39
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,579
♪ The Big Bang Theory 7x02 ♪
The Deception Verification
Original Air Date on September 26, 2013
40
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:57,598
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
41
00:01:58,265 --> 00:02:01,965
Uh, Stuart, I was wondering if you
could help me find something.
42
00:02:01,985 --> 00:02:05,091
Happy to, unless it's
hope or a reason to live.
43
00:02:06,118 --> 00:02:09,578
Oh, you make me
laugh, sad clown.
44
00:02:11,129 --> 00:02:12,049
Anyhoo...
45
00:02:12,071 --> 00:02:16,479
Leonard will be back in a couple days
and I need a welcome-home gift for him.
46
00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:22,056
As he's been at sea, perhaps something with
a nautical theme might be appropriate.
47
00:02:22,152 --> 00:02:24,490
Okay, well, I don't know how
much you want to spend,
48
00:02:24,508 --> 00:02:27,694
but I do have this pretty
cool Aquaman statue.
49
00:02:32,095 --> 00:02:33,271
Aquaman?
50
00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:35,858
Oh, this isn't a
gag gift, Stuart.
51
00:02:37,381 --> 00:02:40,040
Yeah, just as well. It's
a pretty rare piece.
52
00:02:40,048 --> 00:02:42,482
I'd rather just sell it
to a real collector.
53
00:02:43,060 --> 00:02:45,229
I'm a real collector.
54
00:02:46,483 --> 00:02:47,671
How rare is it?
55
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,476
Oh, I shouldn't even
have mentioned it.
56
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,615
How about a Batman squirt gun?
57
00:02:52,564 --> 00:02:55,831
Don't try and trick me into
buying something I don't want.
58
00:02:55,921 --> 00:02:57,847
Now let's talk Aquaman.
59
00:02:59,033 --> 00:03:04,175
What were they thinking, putting Doctor
Octopus's mind in Spider-Man's body?
60
00:03:04,206 --> 00:03:06,169
Well, I've been
quite enjoying that.
61
00:03:06,189 --> 00:03:08,457
It combines all the
superhero fun of Spider-Man
62
00:03:08,468 --> 00:03:11,602
with all the body-switching
shenanigans of Freaky Friday.
63
00:03:12,235 --> 00:03:14,591
Both versions:
original and Lohan.
64
00:03:15,844 --> 00:03:19,369
"Both versions: original and
Lohan." You're an idiot.
65
00:03:19,414 --> 00:03:21,395
Hey, what's your problem?
66
00:03:21,478 --> 00:03:23,281
I'm sorry, I've been
kind of snippy lately.
67
00:03:23,297 --> 00:03:25,631
It's probably this
stupid diet I'm on.
68
00:03:25,658 --> 00:03:26,752
Why are you on a diet?
69
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:29,149
I've put on a couple pounds.
70
00:03:29,967 --> 00:03:32,602
Had to buy these pants
in the men's section.
71
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:37,281
Well, we've all seen your mom.
72
00:03:38,328 --> 00:03:41,451
That Butterball turkey was
bound to come home to roost.
73
00:03:42,849 --> 00:03:45,878
$1,200!
That's my final offer!
74
00:03:46,757 --> 00:03:48,961
All right, Sheldon, you win.
75
00:03:48,998 --> 00:03:50,848
I'm sure Leonard
is gonna love this.
76
00:03:50,915 --> 00:03:53,558
Oh, right, a present
for Leonard.
77
00:03:54,866 --> 00:03:56,891
You better throw in
that squirt gun.
78
00:03:57,891 --> 00:04:01,571
Yeah, I don't know. This squirt
gun, it's, uh, it's pretty rare.
79
00:04:02,878 --> 00:04:04,720
Ooh.
80
00:04:06,718 --> 00:04:10,139
And this is me doing
the Titanic pose on the boat.
81
00:04:10,153 --> 00:04:11,761
Ah.
82
00:04:12,266 --> 00:04:13,372
And... oh.
83
00:04:13,398 --> 00:04:15,268
That's me getting rescued
after I fell in.
84
00:04:15,275 --> 00:04:16,775
Oh.
85
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,777
- Oh, that's the pizza.
- Yep.
86
00:04:19,803 --> 00:04:21,650
- Here's some money.
- Thank you.
87
00:04:21,675 --> 00:04:23,396
And I'm gonna hit the head.
88
00:04:23,709 --> 00:04:27,025
That's what us salty sea dogs
say when we have to go pee-pee.
89
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:30,907
- Hey.
- $22.50.
90
00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,715
Okay, here's, uh, $25.
Keep the change.
91
00:04:32,734 --> 00:04:36,189
Seriously? I just walked up,
like, four flights of stairs.
92
00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:40,358
Oh. Okay. Well, here's, um...
93
00:04:40,683 --> 00:04:43,555
30-something cents and a
94
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:46,987
promise I won't call your boss and
tell him you reek of marijuana.
95
00:04:49,312 --> 00:04:51,886
Oh, Penny, I see
you've ordered pizza.
96
00:04:51,908 --> 00:04:54,252
- I have Chinese food.
- That's nice.
97
00:04:54,431 --> 00:04:57,207
Oh, that's a rather
earthy cologne.
98
00:05:00,346 --> 00:05:02,662
My uncle used to wear that.
99
00:05:03,209 --> 00:05:06,872
Perhaps we can enjoy one last meal
together before Leonard returns.
100
00:05:06,903 --> 00:05:09,016
Yeah, thanks, but I kind of feel
like eating alone tonight, so...
101
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,032
Are you sure?
102
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:14,529
With your Italian pizza and my Chinese
noodles, we could play Marco Polo.
103
00:05:14,942 --> 00:05:17,431
I mean, of course, a
reenactment of a meal
104
00:05:17,449 --> 00:05:19,972
in the life of Marco Polo
the Venetian explorer,
105
00:05:19,994 --> 00:05:23,444
not Marco Polo the
terrifying water sport.
106
00:05:24,535 --> 00:05:26,223
Uh, yeah, it sounds
fun, but no thanks.
107
00:05:27,071 --> 00:05:29,919
- Have a good night!
- What, now... do you have company?
108
00:05:29,922 --> 00:05:31,341
No. No, no, no.
109
00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,939
You know what? Th-The
toilet's been doing that.
110
00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:34,286
I called
the building manager, so...
111
00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:35,987
- Oh, I can take a look at it.
- Well...
112
00:05:36,012 --> 00:05:39,360
I'm quite familiar with plumbing.
Not to brag,
113
00:05:39,395 --> 00:05:42,519
but I spent most of fifth grade
with my head in a toilet.
114
00:05:43,163 --> 00:05:45,450
Yeah, no, no, no. You know
what, Sheldon, it's okay.
115
00:05:45,459 --> 00:05:47,148
You don't have to go
into the bathroom.
116
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:48,752
That's curious.
117
00:05:48,823 --> 00:05:53,265
If there's no one here, why are there
two glasses of wine on the table?
118
00:05:53,734 --> 00:05:54,728
Oh.
119
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,807
Well, you know, I-I've got two hands
and a bit of a drinking problem.
120
00:05:59,955 --> 00:06:02,838
- Of course. Ask a silly question.
- Oh.
121
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,983
- That's odd.
- Um, what?
122
00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:09,038
There are takeout containers
in the trash can.
123
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,269
So? That's my dinner
from last night.
124
00:06:11,302 --> 00:06:14,178
What's odd is they're
in the trash can.
125
00:06:15,274 --> 00:06:17,688
Okay. Look, honey, I promise there's
no one's here. I've had a long day.
126
00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:20,040
I just want to have
a quiet dinner by myself.
127
00:06:20,376 --> 00:06:21,807
Oh, very well.
128
00:06:21,910 --> 00:06:25,543
I'm no stranger to enjoying
the pleasures of solitude.
129
00:06:26,077 --> 00:06:28,113
- Oh!
- What?
130
00:06:28,816 --> 00:06:30,716
Have you gotten Leonard
a welcome-home gift yet?
131
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:31,799
- No.
- Oh, great.
132
00:06:31,827 --> 00:06:35,008
Do you want to go halfsies
on a $200 squirt gun?
133
00:06:38,563 --> 00:06:40,464
- Hi, honey.
- Hey.
134
00:06:40,491 --> 00:06:42,476
I made some brownies.
You want one?
135
00:06:42,898 --> 00:06:44,732
You're kidding, right?
136
00:06:45,641 --> 00:06:48,678
I mean, you know I'm
trying to lose weight.
137
00:06:48,703 --> 00:06:51,789
God, I thought we were
partners in this marriage.
138
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:55,816
We are. Stop it. And for the
last time, you're not fat.
139
00:06:55,841 --> 00:06:59,889
Really? Tell that to the bathroom
scale, 'cause one of you is lying.
140
00:07:01,061 --> 00:07:02,945
Fine, forget I asked.
141
00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:05,428
- How was dinner at your mom's?
- Awful.
142
00:07:05,439 --> 00:07:08,033
I had to rub her ointment
all over her again.
143
00:07:08,516 --> 00:07:09,790
Why can't she do it?
144
00:07:09,815 --> 00:07:13,236
'Cause we've got a deeply
unhealthy relationship.
145
00:07:14,593 --> 00:07:18,104
Which reminds me, do you think you can
get any samples of this from work?
146
00:07:18,129 --> 00:07:19,476
This was supposed
to last her a month,
147
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:22,702
but they didn't take into account
the square footage of her back.
148
00:07:24,419 --> 00:07:26,167
Let me see.
149
00:07:27,302 --> 00:07:29,283
How long have you been
putting this on her?
150
00:07:29,308 --> 00:07:31,302
I don't know. Few weeks. Why?
151
00:07:31,807 --> 00:07:33,907
This is really strong
estrogen cream.
152
00:07:33,927 --> 00:07:35,808
Please tell me
you've been wearing gloves.
153
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:38,821
Like these swollen sausages
could fit in gloves.
154
00:07:40,053 --> 00:07:42,850
Howie, the estrogen's getting
absorbed by your skin.
155
00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:47,746
That's why you've been all bloated and
moody and a giant pain in the ass.
156
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,969
You're full of estrogen
and you don't act like that.
157
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:52,150
That's 'cause I'm a woman.
158
00:07:52,175 --> 00:07:55,305
I've had years of practice
riding the dragon.
159
00:07:57,589 --> 00:08:00,276
Fine. I'll wear
gloves next time.
160
00:08:00,543 --> 00:08:03,728
It's still gonna take a few weeks for
the hormones to leave your system.
161
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:07,341
I feel so stupid. And fat.
162
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:11,636
It's okay. You still
look great to me.
163
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:15,572
In fact, why don't we go in the
bedroom and I'll prove it to you?
164
00:08:16,113 --> 00:08:19,569
Sex? Really? I mean, that's just
your solution to everything!
165
00:08:22,254 --> 00:08:24,054
Oh, and here's a fun thing.
166
00:08:24,123 --> 00:08:27,286
I worked it out so that there are
two different words for spoon:
167
00:08:27,411 --> 00:08:29,549
"planko" and "janko."
168
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,890
"Planko" is a spoon with food,
169
00:08:31,944 --> 00:08:34,107
"janko" is a spoon
without food.
170
00:08:35,288 --> 00:08:38,087
"Janko" is spelled
with a silent "ptang."
171
00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:41,580
Sheldon,
172
00:08:41,610 --> 00:08:44,445
you're not even listening to the
rules of my made-up language.
173
00:08:44,537 --> 00:08:45,743
Yes, I am.
174
00:08:45,782 --> 00:08:47,649
Then what does
"tweepadock" mean?
175
00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:49,133
Uh...
176
00:08:49,458 --> 00:08:50,824
elephant?
177
00:08:51,539 --> 00:08:53,203
Lucky guess.
178
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:59,919
I'm sorry. I'm just distracted by
something that happened over at Penny's.
179
00:08:59,958 --> 00:09:01,210
What happened?
180
00:09:01,262 --> 00:09:04,044
I fear Penny is being
unfaithful to Leonard.
181
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,066
What?
182
00:09:05,108 --> 00:09:10,071
She claimed to be alone when there was
obviously someone else in her apartment.
183
00:09:10,109 --> 00:09:12,684
I have no choice but
to assume the worst,
184
00:09:12,705 --> 00:09:18,087
given Leonard's lengthy sea voyage and
her famously ravenous nether regions.
185
00:09:19,229 --> 00:09:21,480
I don't think Penny
would cheat on Leonard.
186
00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:22,686
Oh, really?
187
00:09:25,037 --> 00:09:28,108
She and I once had
a staring contest.
188
00:09:28,309 --> 00:09:31,344
She clapped really loud
and made me blink.
189
00:09:32,228 --> 00:09:35,497
It's a small leap from
there to sexual infidelity.
190
00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,136
You're being ridiculous.
191
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:42,100
Amy, there were Chinese
food containers...
192
00:09:42,541 --> 00:09:44,433
in the trash can.
193
00:09:46,236 --> 00:09:47,936
Poor Leonard.
194
00:09:53,376 --> 00:09:56,642
- Do you hear anything?
- I hear a woman's voice.
195
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,606
- Is it Penny?
- No, it's you.
196
00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,842
All right,
I hear whispering and giggling.
197
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,738
Now I think I hear kissing.
198
00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:09,185
Yeah, like you know
what kissing sounds like.
199
00:10:10,330 --> 00:10:12,791
There's kissing in Star
Trek, smarty-pants.
200
00:10:13,302 --> 00:10:15,135
Let me listen.
201
00:10:17,462 --> 00:10:19,931
- Sounds like Leonard.
- Please.
202
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:24,052
Why would Leonard come home early
and waste his time kissing Penny
203
00:10:24,084 --> 00:10:27,134
when he could be hanging
out with his best buddy?
204
00:10:28,492 --> 00:10:29,981
Yeah, that's it.
205
00:10:30,009 --> 00:10:31,415
I'm catching her in the act.
206
00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,473
No, Sheldon, don't.
207
00:10:34,106 --> 00:10:36,467
- Aha!
- What the hell?!
208
00:10:36,495 --> 00:10:37,295
Leonard?
209
00:10:37,314 --> 00:10:39,673
Sheldon, you cannot just
barge in here like that!
210
00:10:39,820 --> 00:10:41,415
Right.
211
00:10:44,757 --> 00:10:45,886
Penny!
212
00:10:45,948 --> 00:10:48,435
Penny!
Penny!
213
00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:55,360
Are you going to answer the door or
should I open it and say "aha" again?
214
00:10:59,805 --> 00:11:02,078
I'm sorry, Sheldon. I should've
told you I was back.
215
00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:04,096
I just wanted to have a
couple days alone with Penny.
216
00:11:04,103 --> 00:11:06,172
Oh, no, I should apologize.
217
00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:10,244
Uh, I never realized to what extent
our friendship was a burden to you.
218
00:11:10,595 --> 00:11:11,955
That is not fair.
219
00:11:11,994 --> 00:11:15,059
I complain about what a burden
it is at least once a month.
220
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,126
Oh, no, no, let's
not sugarcoat this.
221
00:11:17,150 --> 00:11:20,699
You find me finicky,
pedantic and annoying.
222
00:11:20,753 --> 00:11:22,149
No, he doesn't.
223
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,987
I actually have used
those exact words before.
224
00:11:26,967 --> 00:11:28,667
In that order.
225
00:11:29,445 --> 00:11:34,497
Well, Leonard, I think it's high time you
and I address the "tweepadock" in the room.
226
00:11:36,004 --> 00:11:36,817
The what?
227
00:11:36,895 --> 00:11:38,270
- Amy?
- Please leave me out of this.
228
00:11:38,303 --> 00:11:39,593
Uh...
229
00:11:39,618 --> 00:11:41,349
fine. Leonard,
230
00:11:41,465 --> 00:11:44,140
there's no need for you to
pretend to like me anymore.
231
00:11:44,155 --> 00:11:45,611
Come on, I said I was sorry.
232
00:11:45,656 --> 00:11:50,595
No, no, you save your apologies for after
you've had disappointing coitus with Penny.
233
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:54,937
It was fine.
234
00:11:55,519 --> 00:11:57,041
Come on, this is silly.
235
00:11:57,469 --> 00:12:01,933
Hey, um, I brought you back a
little present from my trip, huh?
236
00:12:03,362 --> 00:12:05,506
It's that sailor cap
that you wanted.
237
00:12:05,546 --> 00:12:07,012
It's neat, huh?
238
00:12:08,092 --> 00:12:12,176
You honestly think you can buy back
my friendship with a cheap souvenir?
239
00:12:12,714 --> 00:12:13,683
I don't.
240
00:12:13,715 --> 00:12:16,532
No, I really don't.
Just try it on.
241
00:12:20,353 --> 00:12:21,051
Oh, yeah.
242
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:23,333
- Hello, sailor.
- Ooh, now we're talking.
243
00:12:26,225 --> 00:12:27,707
Excuse me.
244
00:12:35,978 --> 00:12:37,733
This changes nothing.
245
00:12:38,905 --> 00:12:41,474
Except the Halloween costume
I'm wearing this year.
246
00:12:42,453 --> 00:12:46,295
Amy, you're going to be Olive Oyl.
Lay off the donuts.
247
00:12:50,488 --> 00:12:52,363
- Thanks for coming over.
- No problem.
248
00:12:52,412 --> 00:12:54,027
Ooh, you made
little sandwiches!
249
00:12:54,058 --> 00:12:58,657
Yeah, that's cucumber and cream cheese.
That's turkey and loganberry.
250
00:12:58,675 --> 00:13:02,020
And don't tell my hips, but I'm
warming up a brie in the oven.
251
00:13:02,997 --> 00:13:04,597
Nice. So...
252
00:13:04,749 --> 00:13:06,471
Mmm. What's up?
253
00:13:06,557 --> 00:13:09,809
Okay, well, I've been reading up on all the
side effects
254
00:13:09,846 --> 00:13:12,537
you can get from
estrogen, and...
255
00:13:12,705 --> 00:13:15,191
I need you to be honest with me.
256
00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:18,339
Do my boobs look bigger to you?
257
00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:21,749
Well, it's kind of hard to tell.
258
00:13:21,777 --> 00:13:23,890
Come on, Raj, it's a
"yes or no" question.
259
00:13:23,902 --> 00:13:25,133
I'm not sure.
260
00:13:25,159 --> 00:13:26,827
Um, wait.
261
00:13:27,002 --> 00:13:29,297
Jump up and down--
let's see if they jiggle.
262
00:13:36,688 --> 00:13:40,046
Uh, no, I... I still
can't tell, uh...
263
00:13:40,139 --> 00:13:42,959
Oh, you know what? Okay,
uh, give me some of this.
264
00:13:46,004 --> 00:13:48,539
- Seriously?
- Do you want my help or not?
265
00:13:49,712 --> 00:13:51,243
Fine.
266
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,740
Okay, yup.
267
00:13:58,134 --> 00:14:01,479
See, see, that-that looks like...
that looks like they could be bigger.
268
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:06,608
But you know, I bet... I bet when
I do it, mine do the same thing.
269
00:14:11,313 --> 00:14:12,601
Yeah, they kind of do.
270
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,539
Hmm. Uh, let me
see something.
271
00:14:14,555 --> 00:14:16,821
Hey, easy!
272
00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:19,790
- My nipples are sensitive.
- Oh.
273
00:14:19,850 --> 00:14:21,185
Sorry, sorry, uh...
274
00:14:23,056 --> 00:14:24,412
Okay.
275
00:14:29,709 --> 00:14:31,278
I mean...
276
00:14:33,576 --> 00:14:35,265
Yeah, m-maybe.
277
00:14:35,301 --> 00:14:37,247
Okay, let me feel.
278
00:14:45,787 --> 00:14:48,407
No, I am definitely
up a cup size.
279
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:51,939
You know, b-but they're very firm,
so you've got that going for you.
280
00:14:52,608 --> 00:14:55,040
- You think?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, very perky.
281
00:14:56,241 --> 00:14:57,574
Thank you.
282
00:14:57,707 --> 00:14:59,707
I really needed
to hear that today.
283
00:15:02,648 --> 00:15:04,934
- Ooh, brie's ready!
- Yay!
284
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,111
- Good morning.
- Hello.
285
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:16,229
So am I driving you to work
or are you still mad at me?
286
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,289
I'd like a ride.
287
00:15:19,009 --> 00:15:21,711
Assuming you actually
do take me to work.
288
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,133
Where do you think
I would take you?
289
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,682
Who knows?
290
00:15:25,813 --> 00:15:27,813
Uh, you said you'd
be home yesterday,
291
00:15:27,832 --> 00:15:29,932
but you came home
three days ago.
292
00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:33,147
You say you're taking me to
work, but for all I know,
293
00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:36,554
I'll end up in a
deserted amusement park.
294
00:15:37,079 --> 00:15:39,608
Or a cornfield maze.
295
00:15:39,867 --> 00:15:43,009
Or a back alley dog fight.
You tell me.
296
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:46,766
I'm going to work. You
can come if you want.
297
00:15:46,814 --> 00:15:48,163
Okay.
298
00:15:49,227 --> 00:15:52,299
By the way, you have
something on your shirt.
299
00:15:52,479 --> 00:15:53,610
No, I don't.
300
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,392
Hurts, doesn't it?
301
00:16:00,436 --> 00:16:04,801
You know, I find myself wondering if
anything you've ever told me is true.
302
00:16:05,323 --> 00:16:08,531
I didn't make it back. The
ship sank, I'm in hell.
303
00:16:11,035 --> 00:16:14,924
You say you're from New Jersey,
but how can I believe you?
304
00:16:15,556 --> 00:16:19,174
Why would anyone claim to be
from New Jersey if they weren't?
305
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:23,347
All right,
I'll give you that one.
306
00:16:24,804 --> 00:16:27,640
Hey, I said I was sorry. What
else do you want from me?
307
00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:30,044
I want you to admit that
what you did was wrong.
308
00:16:30,062 --> 00:16:32,845
Fine. What I did was wrong.
309
00:16:33,357 --> 00:16:34,619
I wish I could believe you.
310
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,869
You know what? I'm not
driving you to work,
311
00:16:38,883 --> 00:16:40,458
because you're
incredibly annoying.
312
00:16:40,493 --> 00:16:42,933
You say one thing
and do the other,
313
00:16:42,956 --> 00:16:46,333
so then you are driving me
and you find me a delight.
314
00:16:47,868 --> 00:16:49,272
- Stop it.
- Keep it up?
315
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:51,322
- Bye!
- Hello!
316
00:16:56,138 --> 00:16:59,444
So I guess you're really holding
up the other four fingers?
317
00:17:03,159 --> 00:17:04,683
Oh, hey, what are you
doing here so early?
318
00:17:04,699 --> 00:17:06,045
Driving Sheldon to work.
319
00:17:06,107 --> 00:17:09,065
- He's still mad at Leonard, huh?
- Well, he's mad at you, too.
320
00:17:09,086 --> 00:17:12,382
He says you're the succubus
who led his friend astray.
321
00:17:14,489 --> 00:17:17,451
I don't know what
"succubus" is, but...
322
00:17:17,563 --> 00:17:19,926
it has "suck" in it,
so that can't be good.
323
00:17:22,137 --> 00:17:24,593
- Thought I heard you out here.
- Hey, Sheldon.
324
00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:26,297
You don't get a "hey."
325
00:17:26,407 --> 00:17:27,951
You get a "hmm."
326
00:17:28,325 --> 00:17:29,562
Come on, don't be like that.
327
00:17:29,578 --> 00:17:31,896
We had so much fun together
the last couple of months.
328
00:17:31,921 --> 00:17:32,902
You're right.
329
00:17:32,934 --> 00:17:35,186
Which makes your betrayal
all the more devastating.
330
00:17:35,206 --> 00:17:35,901
Sheldon...
331
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:40,431
I let you buy feminine hygiene products
with my supermarket club card.
332
00:17:41,509 --> 00:17:45,180
You have any idea the kind of coupons
I'm going to get in the mail now?
333
00:17:46,317 --> 00:17:48,927
Sheldon, your fight's with Leonard.
Penny's got nothing to do...
334
00:17:48,948 --> 00:17:50,848
Careful, Amy.
335
00:17:50,915 --> 00:17:54,229
The friend of my enemy's
girlfriend is my enemy.
336
00:17:55,121 --> 00:17:56,327
- Really?
- Yes.
337
00:17:56,358 --> 00:17:58,709
You're either with me
or against me.
338
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:00,867
You want to take
the bus to work?
339
00:18:02,608 --> 00:18:04,325
Maybe there's a third option.
340
00:18:06,262 --> 00:18:09,557
FYI, I had a doughnut
for breakfast, you jerk.
341
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:15,698
So now we're just waiting for the
data from the ship to be crunched,
342
00:18:15,724 --> 00:18:18,100
but the numbers look
pretty promising.
343
00:18:18,122 --> 00:18:19,128
That's so great.
344
00:18:19,327 --> 00:18:22,292
If you guys prove the existence
of Unruh radiation...
345
00:18:22,319 --> 00:18:24,683
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
My eyes are up here.
346
00:18:26,604 --> 00:18:28,436
Howard, Raj.
347
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,743
Judas.
348
00:18:30,732 --> 00:18:31,845
You know what?
349
00:18:31,925 --> 00:18:33,450
You're a crazy person.
350
00:18:33,468 --> 00:18:38,982
A crazy person with a long memory, and if
all goes according to plan, a robot army.
351
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,989
- Stop it.
- Or a mutant army.
352
00:18:41,998 --> 00:18:44,313
It depends on how
my Kickstarter goes.
353
00:18:45,982 --> 00:18:48,116
I said, stop it!
354
00:18:48,651 --> 00:18:50,532
Now, listen to me.
355
00:18:50,851 --> 00:18:53,932
You two aren't just friends.
356
00:18:53,978 --> 00:18:55,944
You're best friends.
357
00:18:56,627 --> 00:18:58,761
And that's a beautiful thing.
358
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,791
I mean, Leonard, you know
why he's so mad at you?
359
00:19:04,804 --> 00:19:07,072
It's 'cause he missed you!
360
00:19:07,266 --> 00:19:13,697
Yeah, and as his friend, you should
be happy he has love in his life.
361
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:15,703
As I do.
362
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:22,162
This man held my breast the other
day, and I love him for it.
363
00:19:23,915 --> 00:19:26,071
A little loud, dude.
364
00:19:28,164 --> 00:19:32,098
So, can we please put aside
these petty differences
365
00:19:32,134 --> 00:19:35,375
and just be glad
we're here together?
366
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,519
- Okay.
- I suppose so.
367
00:19:39,728 --> 00:19:41,534
Thank you.
368
00:19:42,767 --> 00:19:46,369
Uh, it wasn't anything weird. It
was just to see how big they were.
369
00:19:51,885 --> 00:19:54,856
And then Leonard took me
to the barber and the dentist,
370
00:19:54,874 --> 00:19:56,742
and then to cap off
the perfect day,
371
00:19:56,776 --> 00:20:00,096
the Los Angeles Bureau
of Weights and Measures.
372
00:20:01,164 --> 00:20:03,773
I thought the measures were going
to be the stars of the show;
373
00:20:03,804 --> 00:20:06,278
turns out it was the weights.
374
00:20:07,343 --> 00:20:09,782
I'm so glad you guys
are friends again.
375
00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:12,487
And I'm glad you and I
are friends again, too.
376
00:20:12,523 --> 00:20:13,993
- Aw.
- Which reminds me.
377
00:20:14,012 --> 00:20:17,055
This came in the mail,
and I want you to have it.
378
00:20:17,243 --> 00:20:19,828
"50 cents off Vagisil."
379
00:20:22,075 --> 00:20:24,386
Think of me when you apply it.
380
00:20:26,933 --> 00:20:28,614
Uh, can I just say,
381
00:20:28,639 --> 00:20:30,608
I've missed all of us
hanging out together.
382
00:20:30,683 --> 00:20:32,146
- Yeah.
- Me, too.
383
00:20:32,168 --> 00:20:36,619
Um, since when can Koothrappali talk
in front of the girls without a beer?
384
00:20:36,639 --> 00:20:38,545
Oh, that happened
right after you left.
385
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:40,642
And no one told me?
386
00:20:40,809 --> 00:20:43,771
Can't believe we
forgot to tell him.
387
00:20:46,295 --> 00:20:48,533
Think of Sheldon
when you apply it.
388
00:20:50,212 --> 00:20:55,212
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
30655
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Uighur
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof