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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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"Tenderloin
with lobster Risotto"?
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00:00:08,006 --> 00:00:09,941
Rags loves his surf and turf. .
3
00:00:09,975 --> 00:00:11,943
Just look at him light up!
4
00:00:14,146 --> 00:00:17,181
Carter, this stuff
is $15 a can!
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00:00:17,216 --> 00:00:19,350
$15 a can?! .
6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,820
For dog food?! .
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Gee, I could buy
Claudia a dress with that! .
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00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:27,592
Well, rags is worth
every penny. .
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00:00:27,627 --> 00:00:30,928
Now, if you'll excuse me,
we're gonna go take a walk
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00:00:30,963 --> 00:00:33,331
so he can generate some saliva.
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15 bucks a can. .
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What could possibly be worth
15 bucks a can? .
13
00:00:43,008 --> 00:00:44,576
Wow. .
14
00:00:44,610 --> 00:00:47,612
You can actually see
little bits of lobster. .
15
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Might want to crack
an egg in there. .
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Makes your coat nice and shiny.
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00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:42,867
Sir, you need to see
this new commercial
18
00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:44,769
from the
Michael lauman campaign.
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00:01:44,803 --> 00:01:47,172
I gotta warn you...
you're not gonna like it,
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00:01:47,206 --> 00:01:51,242
at least not as much
as "the real world uncensored." .
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00:01:52,377 --> 00:01:55,180
The alcoholic girl
takes her shirt off.
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Is this really who you wantrepresenting you in Washington? .
23
00:02:09,362 --> 00:02:11,663
Paid for by the Michael laumnfor senate campaign. .
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00:02:11,697 --> 00:02:14,065
Of course,
they use the cotton candy. .
25
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:16,234
What about the hot dog,
the nachos?
26
00:02:16,268 --> 00:02:18,569
I ate those so well,
people cheered! .
27
00:02:19,905 --> 00:02:21,239
They're gonna run the spot,
28
00:02:21,273 --> 00:02:23,275
so we gotta come up
with a response.
29
00:02:23,309 --> 00:02:25,477
Mike, this is my job,
and I will take care of it.
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00:02:25,511 --> 00:02:28,079
I say we hit back hard and
below the belt where it counts. .
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Again and again and again! .
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00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:32,217
Don't you agree?
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00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:34,586
I'm certainly
not gonna disagree. .
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00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,192
He really crossed a line
with this ad,
35
00:02:41,226 --> 00:02:44,429
and we have to respond with
something equally provocative. .
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00:02:44,463 --> 00:02:45,930
Here's an ad age article
37
00:02:45,964 --> 00:02:48,200
on the top 10
commercial directors. .
38
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:51,269
Wait a minute, why are the top
two on the list crossed off? .
39
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:53,705
Oh, well, trust me.
You can't get those guys. .
40
00:02:53,739 --> 00:02:55,307
Ah ha. I can get anyone. .
41
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,810
Well, that guy's dead. .
42
00:02:58,844 --> 00:03:00,645
Okay, he could be tough. .
43
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:03,815
Well, what about this guy,
this Trevor wolf? .
44
00:03:03,849 --> 00:03:06,518
Oh, no, no, not him.
We don't want him. .
45
00:03:06,552 --> 00:03:07,752
Why not? .
46
00:03:07,786 --> 00:03:09,521
Well, he's not right. .
47
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He's... Way out of our league.
48
00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:14,792
Caitlin, you stilldon't understand
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00:03:14,826 --> 00:03:17,828
how much power
I wield in this town.
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00:03:17,863 --> 00:03:20,731
I want to get somethin' done,
it gets done,
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00:03:20,766 --> 00:03:22,200
no questions asked. .
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00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:25,569
Janelle, get me Trevor wolf's
agent on the phone. .
53
00:03:25,604 --> 00:03:26,604
Not now. .
54
00:03:28,140 --> 00:03:30,174
I don't know. .
55
00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,844
Can't you just call back? .
56
00:03:32,878 --> 00:03:35,680
She's on a pay phone. .
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00:03:35,682 --> 00:03:37,915
Put her on hold.
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00:03:37,950 --> 00:03:39,784
I could. .
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Not going to. .
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00:03:43,321 --> 00:03:46,524
Okay, thanks. Sorry, janelle. .
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00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,925
She's all over it. .
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00:03:51,497 --> 00:03:54,466
Hey, Nikki, listen... do I have
something on my cheek?
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00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,101
I'm feeling some irritation,
some itchiness. .
64
00:03:57,136 --> 00:03:59,870
Oh, yeah, it looks like some
kind of allergic reaction. .
65
00:03:59,905 --> 00:04:02,706
Did you eat anything out
of the ordinary this morning? .
66
00:04:02,741 --> 00:04:03,841
No. .
67
00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:06,477
Oh, wait, wait.
Does dog food count?
68
00:04:06,511 --> 00:04:07,478
Paul! .
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00:04:07,512 --> 00:04:08,679
Oh, God. .
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00:04:08,713 --> 00:04:11,049
Oh, God, is it getting worse? .
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00:04:11,083 --> 00:04:15,586
Oh, no, but your breath is! .
72
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:18,722
Jeez, chew a milk-bone
or something, will you? .
73
00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:20,191
Oh, God, I can't have a rash.
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00:04:20,225 --> 00:04:21,792
I'm going
on "the view" tomorrow
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00:04:21,827 --> 00:04:23,794
to talk about
the campaign commercials. .
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00:04:23,829 --> 00:04:25,930
This is a glamour business! .
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00:04:25,965 --> 00:04:28,699
This face puts food
on my table! .
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00:04:28,734 --> 00:04:30,802
And then, it sucks it
right back up! .
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00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:33,838
Sorry I'm late. .
80
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,172
What happened? .
81
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:37,875
The ladder fell and you couldn't
get out of the bunk bed? .
82
00:04:37,910 --> 00:04:40,345
No, no, no, I have a slide now.
83
00:04:40,379 --> 00:04:41,979
I couldn't wake up.
84
00:04:42,013 --> 00:04:44,248
I was having
this incredibly vivid dream
85
00:04:44,282 --> 00:04:46,584
I was an astronaut
blasting off into space. .
86
00:04:46,618 --> 00:04:48,619
You ever have
a dream like that? .
87
00:04:48,653 --> 00:04:49,620
No.
88
00:04:49,654 --> 00:04:52,056
I don't have gay dreams. .
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00:04:52,090 --> 00:04:54,859
It wasn't a gay dream.
It was a space dream.
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00:04:54,893 --> 00:04:56,260
James, think about it. .
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00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:58,997
You got into a rocket
filled with buff guys,
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00:04:59,031 --> 00:05:02,266
and you went to the moon
so you could have hot man sex
93
00:05:02,301 --> 00:05:04,535
without your parents
finding out. .
94
00:05:08,407 --> 00:05:10,575
Wait a minute, Stuart,
I'm not gay. .
95
00:05:10,609 --> 00:05:13,411
Fine, why don't we do
a little psychological test?
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00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:17,115
I say a word and you say the
first word that comes to mind. .
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00:05:17,149 --> 00:05:19,050
Okay. .
98
00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:20,951
Super. Man. .
99
00:05:20,986 --> 00:05:21,886
Spider. Man. .
100
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,053
Aqua. Man.
101
00:05:29,127 --> 00:05:31,429
Mike, why are you going
through all this trouble? .
102
00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,598
Because Caitlin said
I couldn't get this guy
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00:05:33,632 --> 00:05:34,632
to do her commercial. .
104
00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,033
You're always showing off. .
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00:05:36,068 --> 00:05:37,635
Like when you made
fun of her yoga,
106
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,238
and she said, "you can't get
your legs behind your head."
107
00:05:40,272 --> 00:05:42,373
I did it, didn't I? .
108
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,742
Yes, and the paramedics
were very impressed.
109
00:05:46,745 --> 00:05:49,047
Carter, let me explain
something to you, okay? .
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00:05:49,081 --> 00:05:50,515
Right now, to Caitlin,
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00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,050
I am just another
handsome, successful guy
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00:05:53,085 --> 00:05:55,453
who can put his legs
behind his head. .
113
00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:58,322
But if I get this Trevor
to do our commercial,
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00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:00,457
well, then, hey, I'm the man. .
115
00:06:00,492 --> 00:06:02,126
Good luck dealing with him. .
116
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:03,995
He's supposed to be
a huge egomaniac.
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00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:08,766
I can handle egomaniacs. All you
have to do is flatter them. .
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00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:12,370
That is so smart.
Brilliant, actually. .
119
00:06:12,404 --> 00:06:15,739
See, you get me.
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00:06:17,576 --> 00:06:20,244
I'm looking
for a Mike Flaherty. .
121
00:06:20,278 --> 00:06:22,080
Hey, I'm a Mike Flaherty. .
122
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:24,014
How are you?
You must be Trevor. .
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00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:25,349
This is Carter Heywood. .
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00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:26,417
Oh, thank you.
125
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,952
I'm sorry I'm late. .
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00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:30,588
Bloody hate this town.
It's a poor man's London. .
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00:06:30,623 --> 00:06:32,790
Well, you know, Trevor, uh... .
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00:06:32,824 --> 00:06:35,760
Sometimes I bloody hate
this town, too. .
129
00:06:35,794 --> 00:06:38,796
You know what I bloody loved? .
130
00:06:38,830 --> 00:06:41,198
Your Ty-d-bol commercial. .
131
00:06:41,232 --> 00:06:43,534
Oh, I was a whore
to do that ad. .
132
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,903
No, my real passion's
my movies. .
133
00:06:45,937 --> 00:06:48,372
Really? I haven't
seen any of those. .
134
00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:51,609
Ah, it's because
they're all in my head. .
135
00:06:51,643 --> 00:06:53,277
Really, you know,
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00:06:53,312 --> 00:06:56,614
a lot of directors now are
putting their movies on film. .
137
00:06:56,648 --> 00:06:58,649
My movies are
too insane for film! .
138
00:06:58,683 --> 00:07:00,417
You know what my problem is? .
139
00:07:00,452 --> 00:07:02,920
Uh, crazy movies in your head? .
140
00:07:02,954 --> 00:07:06,724
No, I'm a genius, which means
people rarely understand me. .
141
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:08,159
Oh, I'm sure. .
142
00:07:08,193 --> 00:07:10,528
But I must say,
for such a brilliant man,
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00:07:10,562 --> 00:07:12,964
you really know how
to put people at ease. .
144
00:07:12,998 --> 00:07:16,000
You know what? You get me.
145
00:07:17,969 --> 00:07:21,873
James, you left
a message on my voice mail,
146
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:24,408
something about being gay? .
147
00:07:24,442 --> 00:07:26,911
Oh, false alarm.
I had one gay space dream. .
148
00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:28,313
But last night, nothing. .
149
00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:29,813
So, you know... straight.
150
00:07:29,848 --> 00:07:34,718
I'm here if you wanna talk
because, you know... gay. .
151
00:07:34,753 --> 00:07:37,788
You're a good friend, Carter. .
152
00:07:39,658 --> 00:07:41,926
Aw, yeah! .
153
00:07:43,495 --> 00:07:45,796
Whoa! .
154
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,668
Something the matter?
155
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,738
I had a dream
where I kissed Carter.
156
00:07:53,772 --> 00:07:55,906
I'm starting to worry. .
157
00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:59,310
You shou be worried. .
158
00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:02,846
Worried about
making me jealous. .
159
00:08:06,284 --> 00:08:09,454
Okay, two dreams
doesn't mean I'm gay. .
160
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:12,490
That's what you think,
sugar lips.
161
00:08:15,994 --> 00:08:19,096
I'm gay. .
162
00:08:20,298 --> 00:08:22,500
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
easy with that stuff.
163
00:08:22,534 --> 00:08:24,969
I can't believe I let you
talk me into this. .
164
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:27,004
Technically, you begged me.
165
00:08:27,038 --> 00:08:29,841
I asked you if there was
any skin-colored cream
166
00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:32,276
or powder
to disguise facial blemishes. .
167
00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:34,679
You're the one
who took it to makeup. .
168
00:08:34,713 --> 00:08:37,515
There, pretty as a... .
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00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,183
Done. .
170
00:08:39,217 --> 00:08:42,921
Oh, I can't wear makeup. .
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00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:45,023
Better wash this off. .
172
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,824
Hey, Paul, you look great. .
173
00:08:46,858 --> 00:08:48,392
Did you lose some weight? .
174
00:08:48,427 --> 00:08:50,828
Yes. .
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00:08:50,862 --> 00:08:53,497
Yes, I did. .
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00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:57,702
Five minutes, my office...
bring the blush. .
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00:08:57,736 --> 00:08:59,037
You just sign here...
178
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:01,472
Trevor wolf,
the ungettable director...
179
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:05,409
And I will sign here...
180
00:09:05,443 --> 00:09:08,913
Mike Flaherty,
the guy who got him. .
181
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:12,316
Get Caitlin, the woman who's
gonna be incredibly impressed.
182
00:09:14,252 --> 00:09:16,087
Caitlin Moore's
our campaign manager.
183
00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:18,556
Caitlin Moore is
running this campaign? .
184
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:19,624
Yeah, you know her?
185
00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:21,726
I should say so. .
186
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,061
We were married. .
187
00:09:23,095 --> 00:09:27,198
You... you were married? .
188
00:09:27,232 --> 00:09:28,432
Hitched! .
189
00:09:28,466 --> 00:09:30,367
Yes, we had a whole
ball and chain. .
190
00:09:30,402 --> 00:09:31,936
We were knocking boots. .
191
00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:33,671
It was all legal, baby. .
192
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:37,909
Caitie!
193
00:09:37,943 --> 00:09:39,077
Trevor!
194
00:09:42,414 --> 00:09:44,181
Can you hold this?
195
00:09:44,215 --> 00:09:48,018
I'm just gonna put my legs
behind my head. .
196
00:10:00,698 --> 00:10:02,599
Can't wait to get started. .
197
00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:04,468
Oh, this is unbelievable.
198
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,603
I am so excited about this. .
199
00:10:06,638 --> 00:10:07,805
Oh, you're great. .
200
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,974
No, you're great. .
201
00:10:13,478 --> 00:10:16,480
You idiot! .
202
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:17,815
What?! .
203
00:10:17,849 --> 00:10:19,783
How could you hire
my ex-husband?! .
204
00:10:19,817 --> 00:10:22,619
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot to ask
that standard question...
205
00:10:22,654 --> 00:10:26,424
"have you ever been married
to our campaign manager?"
206
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,859
I'm hiring a new custodian
this afternoon. .
207
00:10:28,893 --> 00:10:31,162
You got anything
you wanna get off your chest? .
208
00:10:31,196 --> 00:10:33,230
What are you so upset about? .
209
00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:36,633
How could you not tell me
that you were married? .
210
00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:38,869
Since when are we sharing
our personal lives?
211
00:10:38,903 --> 00:10:41,071
I tell you everythingabout my personal life!
212
00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:43,841
Mike, you don't
have a personal life. .
213
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:45,676
Hey, I went out last Friday. .
214
00:10:45,711 --> 00:10:46,410
With Carter. .
215
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:48,779
And his mom. .
216
00:10:48,813 --> 00:10:51,815
How can you be married
to this guy?
217
00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:53,317
I mean, he is such a...
218
00:10:53,352 --> 00:10:55,653
he's a... he is a... he's a...
219
00:10:55,687 --> 00:10:58,755
he's a tool.
220
00:10:58,790 --> 00:11:00,190
I was young.
221
00:11:00,225 --> 00:11:02,826
I was working in London,
and he swept me off my feet. .
222
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,429
Oh, this is gonna be
so awkward for me! .
223
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:08,265
Tell you what...
I'm just gonna fire him. .
224
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,067
No, no, no, no.
You can't do that.
225
00:11:10,102 --> 00:11:11,368
I'll be fine.
226
00:11:11,403 --> 00:11:13,337
I'll keep things
professional this time. .
227
00:11:13,371 --> 00:11:16,006
What do you mean, "this time"? .
228
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,576
Well, the last time
we saw each other,
229
00:11:18,777 --> 00:11:20,110
we kind of... you know. .
230
00:11:20,145 --> 00:11:22,246
Eww! .
231
00:11:26,718 --> 00:11:28,685
Oh, where'd you get that stuff? .
232
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,854
Macy's. .
233
00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:36,193
How can I bring out
my eyes more? .
234
00:11:36,228 --> 00:11:38,195
Well, women
use eyeliner for that. .
235
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,631
Cough it up.
236
00:11:40,665 --> 00:11:44,669
I said, "womenuse eyeliner for that." .
237
00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:47,171
You can't believe
the compliments I'm getting. .
238
00:11:47,205 --> 00:11:48,539
When I'm on "the view" today,
239
00:11:48,574 --> 00:11:50,908
I'm gonna have those women
eating out of my... .
240
00:11:50,942 --> 00:11:52,343
Dog dish? .
241
00:11:54,779 --> 00:11:57,582
Hey, Paul, did you hear?
242
00:11:58,917 --> 00:12:01,785
I'm gay. .
243
00:12:01,819 --> 00:12:05,689
Am I the only real man
left in this office?
244
00:12:09,828 --> 00:12:12,462
James? What's with the shirt? .
245
00:12:12,497 --> 00:12:14,398
Oh, haven't you heard?
246
00:12:14,432 --> 00:12:16,667
I'm out! Queer and here, fella! .
247
00:12:16,702 --> 00:12:19,269
Two dreams,
I'm as gay as they get. .
248
00:12:19,304 --> 00:12:21,271
No, you're not. .
249
00:12:21,306 --> 00:12:24,274
Oh, yeah? Then why did
I shave my chest this morning?
250
00:12:24,309 --> 00:12:26,877
I don't know.
251
00:12:26,911 --> 00:12:30,948
James... This is Robert
from accounting.
252
00:12:30,982 --> 00:12:33,050
I thought you two might...
253
00:12:35,253 --> 00:12:36,954
hit it off.
254
00:12:36,988 --> 00:12:39,824
Robert from accounting,
I hope you play for our team,
255
00:12:39,858 --> 00:12:41,925
because the field
has just been mowed. .
256
00:12:45,197 --> 00:12:46,664
Do you hate New York? .
257
00:12:46,698 --> 00:12:49,233
Drugs dealers
put me in Washington. .
258
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,369
Cut!! .
259
00:12:52,804 --> 00:12:55,940
Where the pause lands
is quite critical. .
260
00:12:55,974 --> 00:12:59,176
It's, "do you hate
New York drug dealers? ."
261
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:01,044
Put in Washington." .
262
00:13:03,981 --> 00:13:06,450
That's good, too.
263
00:13:08,086 --> 00:13:10,387
Carter. Mike.
264
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:12,155
Caitlin. .
265
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:14,892
You look... Beautiful, elegant. .
266
00:13:14,926 --> 00:13:15,793
Why? .
267
00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:18,295
What are you talking about? .
268
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,563
Well, look at you. .
269
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:21,465
The dress, the shoes, your...
270
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,334
your hair is up.
You nev wear your hair up.
271
00:13:24,369 --> 00:13:25,603
I do! .
272
00:13:25,671 --> 00:13:27,271
You always wear it straight. .
273
00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:28,639
Sometimes you pull it back
274
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:30,708
with the little red
scrunchie thing,
275
00:13:30,742 --> 00:13:32,710
a-and last Wednesday...
276
00:13:32,744 --> 00:13:36,813
I have a phenomenal memory
for hair.
277
00:13:36,848 --> 00:13:38,649
Carter? .
278
00:13:38,683 --> 00:13:40,618
Bald.
279
00:13:40,652 --> 00:13:42,686
Mike, I know
what you're thinking,
280
00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:44,722
and I did not do thisfor Trevor.
281
00:13:44,756 --> 00:13:47,625
Caitlin, I love it
when you wear your hair up. .
282
00:13:47,659 --> 00:13:49,960
Live and learn.
283
00:13:49,994 --> 00:13:52,195
I thought you and I
might grab a bite later
284
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:54,398
if there's an opening
in your "shedule." .
285
00:13:54,432 --> 00:13:56,032
"Shedule." .
286
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:57,601
Schedule. .
287
00:13:57,636 --> 00:14:00,571
You could show me what
new yorkers do for "lesure." .
288
00:14:00,605 --> 00:14:02,706
Leisure. .
289
00:14:02,741 --> 00:14:06,109
It's a hard "e"
this side of the pond, Ringo.
290
00:14:06,144 --> 00:14:08,712
Michael... .
291
00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:10,381
It might interest you to know
292
00:14:10,415 --> 00:14:12,183
that we invented the language. .
293
00:14:12,217 --> 00:14:15,686
Although, to be fair,
you did give us pac-man. .
294
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,355
And we can take that back, pal!
295
00:14:18,389 --> 00:14:19,990
I'm probably crazy,
296
00:14:20,024 --> 00:14:22,860
but do you think
there's a chance
297
00:14:22,894 --> 00:14:25,195
she's fallin' for him again?
298
00:14:25,229 --> 00:14:26,263
I don't know. .
299
00:14:26,297 --> 00:14:29,700
Think there's a chance
I'm black?
300
00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:31,669
I'm serious.
301
00:14:31,703 --> 00:14:35,005
I'm picking up
kind of a vibe here. .
302
00:14:35,039 --> 00:14:38,476
Yeah, it's called
"raw animal lust." .
303
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:41,178
Remember when I said
that somewhere out there
304
00:14:41,212 --> 00:14:42,680
is a guy just for you? .
305
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:45,616
That's the kind of bull
I'm lookin' for right now! .
306
00:14:47,585 --> 00:14:50,220
How'd your date with Robert go?
307
00:14:50,255 --> 00:14:51,421
I'm not gay. .
308
00:14:53,157 --> 00:14:55,058
Hey, uh, trev... .
309
00:14:55,093 --> 00:15:00,464
What do you think of this
commercial we're making? .
310
00:15:00,498 --> 00:15:02,299
It's a bit
of a "how-do-you-do." .
311
00:15:02,333 --> 00:15:05,136
Exactly! It should be
more of a...
312
00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,504
a "what's all that, then?" .
313
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:08,238
Exactly. .
314
00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:10,741
You know what?
315
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:12,777
I'm not gonna
handcuff you anymore. .
316
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:15,680
You know those insane movies
you have in your head? .
317
00:15:15,714 --> 00:15:17,715
Let's see some of thatin the commercial. .
318
00:15:17,749 --> 00:15:18,982
Carte blanche? .
319
00:15:19,016 --> 00:15:21,251
Yes. Go nuts. Make art. .
320
00:15:21,285 --> 00:15:24,655
If I understand it,
well, then, hey, you failed.
321
00:15:24,689 --> 00:15:27,057
Mike, I think
I've misjudged you. .
322
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:30,828
Do you think the mayor
will do full frontal nudity? .
323
00:15:30,862 --> 00:15:33,697
Couldn't hurt to ask. .
324
00:15:45,710 --> 00:15:48,813
Welcome back. We are talking
with Paul lassiter,
325
00:15:48,847 --> 00:15:50,647
press secretary
to the mayor of New York.
326
00:15:50,682 --> 00:15:51,915
Paul, thanks for coming. .
327
00:15:51,950 --> 00:15:53,918
Thank you for having me. .
328
00:15:53,952 --> 00:15:57,054
And may I say that
from where I sit... .
329
00:15:57,089 --> 00:15:59,023
The view is just fine.
330
00:16:00,558 --> 00:16:02,793
Have you seen
these cotton-candy commercials
331
00:16:02,828 --> 00:16:04,061
Michael lauman is running? .
332
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,829
What'll the mayor do about that? .
333
00:16:05,863 --> 00:16:07,364
The mayor and I feel
334
00:16:07,399 --> 00:16:09,366
that we're not gonna
reduce this campaign
335
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,801
to petty mudslinging. .
336
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:15,505
What we want to do is deal
with the important issues...
337
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:18,842
how do you get your eyelashes
so full? .
338
00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:21,545
Just the way I was born. .
339
00:16:21,579 --> 00:16:23,480
Gotcha. We'll talk later.
340
00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:26,250
I think that the mayor
ought to strike back
341
00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:29,353
at this lauman character. .
342
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:30,921
To do nothing
makes him look wimpy. .
343
00:16:30,956 --> 00:16:35,892
And I think someone is wearing
a little too much Rouge. .
344
00:16:35,927 --> 00:16:37,561
What?! .
345
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:38,896
We'll talk later. .
346
00:16:40,031 --> 00:16:43,267
You seem
preoccupied with makeup. .
347
00:16:43,301 --> 00:16:45,536
That's ridiculous!
348
00:16:47,405 --> 00:16:50,608
Are you wearin'...
he's wearin' eyeliner! .
349
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,610
And you have mascara on! .
350
00:16:52,644 --> 00:16:54,378
No, no, no! No, I'm not! .
351
00:16:54,412 --> 00:16:56,913
All right, I am!
I'm wearing makeup! .
352
00:16:56,948 --> 00:16:59,483
Lots of it! Why shouldn't I?! .
353
00:16:59,517 --> 00:17:02,753
Is it so wrong for a man
354
00:17:02,787 --> 00:17:05,121
to want to accent
his cheekbones,
355
00:17:05,156 --> 00:17:06,923
maybe hide some laugh lines,
356
00:17:06,957 --> 00:17:08,392
and, yes... look sexy?
357
00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:11,995
Thank you! Thank you! .
358
00:17:12,029 --> 00:17:14,431
Why should makeup
only be for women?! .
359
00:17:14,465 --> 00:17:16,400
Right! Right! .
360
00:17:16,434 --> 00:17:18,969
Why should dog food
only be for dogs?! .
361
00:17:20,805 --> 00:17:22,573
Okay, we'll be back
362
00:17:22,607 --> 00:17:26,109
with some home makeover tips
right after this. .
363
00:17:26,143 --> 00:17:27,678
Can I stay? No.
364
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,320
The following
is Trevor wolf's first...
365
00:17:37,355 --> 00:17:39,189
and, I certainly hope,
not only...
366
00:17:39,223 --> 00:17:41,759
campaign commercial
for the mayor's senate run. .
367
00:17:41,793 --> 00:17:43,127
Oh, I should say
368
00:17:43,161 --> 00:17:45,696
Trevor had complete
creative control on this,
369
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,998
so what you're about to see
is a window
370
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:50,300
into his talented,
talented mind.
371
00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:56,740
Washington. .
372
00:17:57,942 --> 00:18:00,977
Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!Hut! Hut! Hu! .
373
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:03,580
Hut! Hut! Hu!
374
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:14,458
Cat got your tongue? .
375
00:18:27,805 --> 00:18:32,175
Well, it looks like
the cat has all our tongues. .
376
00:18:32,209 --> 00:18:33,577
Two paws up. .
377
00:18:33,611 --> 00:18:37,280
Good job, Trevor! Loved it. .
378
00:18:37,314 --> 00:18:38,682
Fire him.
379
00:18:38,716 --> 00:18:41,552
Trevor, uh, this is
the part of the job
380
00:18:41,586 --> 00:18:43,120
that's really tough. .
381
00:18:43,154 --> 00:18:45,789
Well, for you. You're fired. .
382
00:18:45,823 --> 00:18:48,058
Fired? .
383
00:18:48,092 --> 00:18:52,262
Yeah, fired.
I'm, uh... Sacking you. .
384
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:56,466
Well... Your tea is weak! .
385
00:18:58,236 --> 00:19:00,003
You deliberately set him up
386
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:02,172
just so you could
get rid of him! .
387
00:19:02,207 --> 00:19:05,475
Hey, all I do
is give them enough rope. .
388
00:19:05,509 --> 00:19:07,444
He tied a clown to it. .
389
00:19:17,422 --> 00:19:18,855
How you doin'? .
390
00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:21,358
Oh, great. .
391
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:28,098
So, um... You wanna talk about
this whole Caitlin thing? .
392
00:19:28,133 --> 00:19:31,167
Wouldn't that...
Be kind of weird? .
393
00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:33,403
It's okay, Mike. We're over.
394
00:19:33,437 --> 00:19:36,974
I've slept with, like,
20 guys since we broke up.
395
00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:40,577
I'm kidding.
396
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:46,450
That's really...
397
00:19:46,484 --> 00:19:49,119
by how much are you kidding? .
398
00:19:49,153 --> 00:19:52,022
It's so obvious
you have a thing for Caitlin. .
399
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:55,926
You know me
better than anyone else.
400
00:19:55,961 --> 00:19:57,461
I just don't know what to do.
401
00:19:59,664 --> 00:20:00,965
You know, Mike? .
402
00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:03,367
Part of the reason
that you and I didn't work out
403
00:20:03,401 --> 00:20:05,802
is because you're always
protecting yourself. .
404
00:20:05,837 --> 00:20:07,737
We knew each other
for three years
405
00:20:07,772 --> 00:20:09,473
before you even kissed me. .
406
00:20:11,676 --> 00:20:14,544
Just waiting
for the perfect moment. .
407
00:20:14,579 --> 00:20:15,779
No such thing. .
408
00:20:15,813 --> 00:20:18,382
If you want
the perfect moment,
409
00:20:18,416 --> 00:20:20,050
you got to create it.
410
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:23,653
I just wouldn't
wait that long with Caitlin. .
411
00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:32,062
Thanks, Nik.
412
00:20:43,341 --> 00:20:44,842
I'll give her another year. .
413
00:20:54,585 --> 00:20:56,086
Hey, Stuart.
414
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:59,422
I think I figured out why
you played that trick on James. .
415
00:20:59,457 --> 00:21:01,124
Because I'm a heartless bastard
416
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:03,293
who revels
in the misery of innocence? .
417
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:07,363
Maybe you're suppressing certain
gay urges within yourself? .
418
00:21:07,398 --> 00:21:10,100
Oh, Carter, shut up. .
419
00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:12,202
And kiss me. .
420
00:21:17,642 --> 00:21:20,143
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
30436
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